The Express Tribune T2 - September 3

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 3, 2011

Explore

Craving for chocolate?

Maze

Chocolate! Just hearing the word makes your mouth water and you immediately start fantasising about the different types available. Kids, adults, boys, girls, everyone loves chocolate — and for good reason!

Want to learn more about this delicious treat? Keep reading!

White Chocolate

History

Experience the magic!

The tasty secret of the cacao tree was discovered 2,000 years ago in the tropical rainforests of the Americas. This tree contains seeds that can be processed into chocolate. The story of how chocolate grew from a local beverage into a global sweet is long but quite fascinating.

The first people known to have made chocolate were from ancient Mexico and Central America. These people, including the Mayans and the Aztec, mixed ground cacao seeds with various seasonings to make a spicy, frothy drink.

Later, the Spaniards brought the seeds back home to Spain, where new recipes were created. Eventually, the drink became popular throughout Europe. Since then, new innovations have changed the texture and taste of chocolate, but it still remains one of the world’s favorite flavours.

White chocolate gets its name from the cocoa butter it contains, but does not contain any other cocoa products. As a result, it has no pronounced chocolate taste, but commonly tastes like vanilla or other added flavouring.

Chocolate is magical! You don’t believe me?

Try having chocolate when you’re feeling upset about something...it will immediately

cheer you up. That’s because chocolate literally makes you ‘feel good!’

Not only does chocolate cheer you up, but scientists have found reason to believe that chocolate is good for your body in general... but only the dark kind! So don’t start attacking every chocolate bar you see from now on!

Fun Facts • World’s oldest candy bar? Jane Marshall owns a bar of chocolate that’s 104 years old. She took a taste 53 years ago.

• Ancient Aztecs thought chocolate had magical powers; like the ability to give them strength.

• The word chocolate comes from the Aztec word xocolatl, meaning, bitter water.

• Cocoa beans were used as currency by the Aztecs and the Mayans.

• Napoleon took chocolate along with him during his military campaigns and had it whenever he wanted to boost his energy.

• The chocolate chip cookie is the official state cookie of Massachusetts.

Types You won’t be surprised to know that there are many different types of chocolate and you’re probably familiar with more than just a few.

Cocoa powder Cocoa powder gives an intense chocolate taste and is available in processed or natural varieties. Natural cocoa powder is light brown, with a strong chocolate flavour.

SOURCE: SODAHEAD.COM

Unsweetened chocolate This is also known as “bitter” or “baking” chocolate and is made of ground cocoa beans. Although it looks and smells like chocolate, it has a bitter taste and is not meant to be consumed on its own — it is best used in cooking, when it can be combined with sugar.

ha ha ha

Dark chocolate Dark chocolate is produced by adding fat and sugar to the cacao mixture. It is a dark brown colour and has a bitter aftertaste.

How can you keep from getting a sharp pain in your eye when you drink chocolate milk?

Take the spoon out of the glass.

Why did the donut go to the dentist?

Bittersweet chocolate This chocolate often has a deeper, bitterer flavour than sweet dark or semi-sweet bars.

However, the amount of sugar in the chocolate varies from one brand to another.

It needed a chocolate filling.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because it was feeling crummy.

What did the space man say when he set foot on a giant chocolate bar?

Milk chocolate Milk chocolates are typically much sweeter than dark chocolate, and have a lighter colour and a less pronounced chocolate taste.

This might just be your favourite type!

ILLUSTRATION: JAMAL KHURSHID

I have just set foot on mars!

What is the difference between chocolate and cheese?

The cheese is never late!

What is a leopard’s favorite candy?

Dots!

Why did the baby cookie cry?

Because its mother was a wafer so long.

Easy chocolate chip cookies

How to make

Ingredients 1 1/2 cup butter 3 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup self-raising flour 1 cup brown sugar Cooking chocolate (in little pieces or chunks)

Instructions 1. Beat butter until creamy.

2. Next add brown sugar and mix.

3. Then add flour and vanilla.

4. Mix until it becomes a creamy dough.

5 Next make the dough in to balls and place them on a greased baking tray.

Flatten them a little, but not too much.

6. Cook for 20-25 minutes in 160C (325F) degree oven until hard.

ENJOY!!

SOURCE: EASY-KIDS-RECIPES.COM

PHOTO: FORUM.XCITEFUN.NET

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 3, 2011

campus for young readers

Ever met the stern librarian?

SAMEEN AMER

Books by Dr Seuss Theodor Seuss Geisel, better known as Dr Seuss, is one of the most beloved names in children’s literature. His stories in rhyme, driven by amusing turns of phrase and filled with imaginative characters, make reading fun while encouraging young readers to tap into their own imaginations, which is why his books will certainly be a delightful addition to any child’s bookshelf.

Sour, grim and perpetually suspicious; these are some of the most glaring trademarks of a typical librarian MERLIN FLOWER

I often wonder why all librarians, regardless of their sex, appear so grim?

Wouldn’t you think that beneficiaries of possibly the best job in the world, who have access to a wealth of knowledge, should have amiable countenances? But that’s not the case. To cast someone as Charon — the ferryman who carries the souls of the dead to the other world — a casting director only has to find a librarian.

Step into a library, and you are greeted with a “why have you come here?” look by a perpetually dour librarian. Instead of being drawn by a welcoming ambience and the attractive smell of books, you are made uncomfortable by the hostile vibes of the librarian.

As you go to browse the shelves, you constantly feel conscious of the librarian’s penetrating gaze following you with such suspicion. So, after finding the relevant book you saunter to the librarian’s desk and put across the book with trepidation. “Eh, one of the pages is missing,” says the manager in a steely voice, while you shuffle your feet in discomfort. “Please, take another copy.” You promptly follow instructions, while once more being painfully aware of the librarian’s scrutiny.

If you have, by any chance, not experienced the horror of dealing with a

The Cat in the Hat

To cast someone as Charon, a casting director only has to find a librarian

Left home on a cold, wet day, two bored kids — a boy (the narrator) and his sister Sally — get a visit from the Cat in the Hat, as he enters their house and brings with him some mischievous mayhem, in one of Dr Seuss’s best known stories. While their mother is out for the day, the children sit in the house and wish they had something to do; in walks the Cat, who, despite the family’s pet goldfish’s opposition, sets off to perform wacky tricks to amuse the kids, which ultimately result in the creation of a big mess.

Undeterred, the Cat brings two creatures, named Thing One and Thing Two, into the picture, who then begin to fly kites in the house, causing even more chaos, until the children finally take control of the situation; the Cat ultimately returns to clean up the mess just before the mother gets back home. The zany adventure will not only amuse young, beginning readers, but also help improve their reading skills.

typical librarian, then count yourself as one of the lucky ones. I have yet to come across a kind librarian in all my 20-something years on the planet. And despite my discomfort in dealing with these grave creatures, I still cannot help frequenting libraries. Since I don’t have a Kindle (or an e-reader or whatever you call it), I have to mainly rely on bookstores and libraries to replenish my supply of books.

I have been avidly visiting libraries managed by unpleasant librarians since childhood. I confess that I am a total book worm. In fact, I chose to go to a particular college because of its splendid library. During my childhood, I had the privilege of attending a school with a magnificent library. In fact many of the students at that school, including me, even had membership of other libraries. Perhaps the access to more books gave us a vague sense of entitlement in those days. But another reason for frequenting libraries outside school was that there were racier books available there. But did we read those raunchy books? Not really. Most of us were a bit turned off by their paperback covers which completely gave away the contents of the story. But many of us were just too weak-hearted to take those books to the loans desk; uncertain of the kind of reaction it would evoke from the librarian.

On Fridays, our school permitted students to take home ‘novels’ — some Victorian tradition of the catholic institution. On those occasions, stern-faced librarians mocked students, who were more interested in fiction, for only showing up at the library on Fridays. The librarian’s sour remarks would make the children’s shoulders sag sheepishly, as they eagerly waited in a queue to borrow the novels.

Since childhood, I’ve been perennially coming across archetypal library managers — austere, grim and bossy. But if I were a librarian, would I have the sense of ownership of all the books? Would I sulk when someone arrived to borrow a book? Would I view everyone arriving at the doorsteps as potential book stealers? I guess not.

Horton Hatches the Egg

GRAPHIC: SAMAD SIDDIQUI

Mayzie, “a lazy bird hatching an egg”, convinces Horton the elephant to switch places with her in Horton Hatches the Egg, a charming story about the virtue of keeping your word and the joys of perseverance. Left to sit on the egg, Horton endures bad weather and changing seasons awaiting Mayzie’s return, who unknown to him, has “decided she’d never go back to her nest”. But no matter how bad things get, Horton does not give up on his promise to stay on the egg (even after he gets ridiculed by his friends) because “an elephant’s faithful one hundred per cent!” He faces more trouble as hunters sneak up on him; because of his peculiar behaviour, Horton is sold to a circus, where he is eventually reunited with the wandering Mayzie, who, seeing that all the work has been done for her, turns on Horton and lays claim to her abandoned egg just then, the egg hatches, and the results surprise everyone.

If I Ran the Circus

A kid uses his imagination to create a circus in a vacant lot in If I Ran the Circus, a delightful foray into a world of madcap creativity. The Circus McGurkus emerges from an empty lot filled with junk, as Morris McGurk details how he’ll build the “the world’s greatest show” behind Mr Sneelock’s store, that will be filled with unusual creatures, like horn-tooting apes, a Drum-Tummied Snumm, the Remarkable Foon, a Blindfolded Bowman from Briggerba-Root, and a fluff-muffled Truffle. Morris conveniently uses Mr Sneelock’s assistance as he pleases, and includes him in parts of various acts as he goes along, because as he sees it, “After all, Mr Sneelock is one of my friends.

And I’m sure he’ll help out doing small odds and ends.”

Along the way, he shows how easy it is to transform the drab into the fabulous: all you need is a little imagination.

You can send your contributions and suggestions to You can send your contributions and suggestions to t2@tribune.com.pk t2@tribune.com.pk

My school is fab and yours is trash! — The culture of dissing HIBA KHAN

During my two years of A-levels, I noticed that students from more established educational institutes had a tendency to diss — a colloquial term for showing disrespect — nascent schools and colleges.

For instance, recently at a get together, when I inquired of my friend whether her younger sister was joining my high school, she asserted bluntly, “I would never let my sister go to ‘that’ college.” When I asked for the reasons for her adamant refusal to let her sister join that particular high school, she didn’t have a substantial reply.

This specific high school is often ridiculed by students from some of the more recognised colleges in Karachi.

Nevertheless, it is one of the best, in terms of educational standards. In fact, discrepancy in educational standards is hardly the cause of such disdain against nascent colleges.

Sadly enough, this scribe has observed a strong trend of bigoted and unwarranted attacks at any new institute. Even though everyone has the right of freedom of speech, there is a fine line between that and an offensive diatribe.

Case in point: A recent blog post written by a student of a supposedly ‘elite’ school, criticising the management of a new college. Such a myopic viewpoint, which is typically held by many students nowadays, is definitely disheartening, especially since it fails to discern that ‘aberrant’ institutes also have good aspects. What is more disturbing is that this con-

GRAPHIC: SAMAD SIDDIQUI

descension is not only prevalent on high school level, but is even more prominent at the university level.

On August 14, a post featured on The Express Tribune blog by

Gibran Ashraf titled ‘10 reasons why Karachi University is better than LUMS’ prompted over 200 comments. Ninety per cent of those comments were replete with insults for

one of the institutes and for the writer. Such articles are an entertaining read but they reflect the narrow-minded mindset of our ‘educated’ adolescents, who feel good by un-

dermining others.

The only sane remark amongst the deluge of comments was by Muhammad Abdullah, who remarked: “Here you go. Now we all

will fight on educational institutions and bring shame to ourselves by discussing which is the best. Don’t forget the contributions of each institution to Pakistan, where majority of the people are illiterate. Institutions are seldom built and there are very few good ones. Instead of writing on ways to increase knowledge and education among people, you are writing something that will initiate hundreds of comments filled with mockery and ridicule. Grow up buddy. Both of the institutions are the best because they provide something not very common in Pakistan.’’

Moreover, consider the example of the popular ‘Tips’, which every Pakistani university has for itself on Facebook. While students have a right to express their pride in their institution, it is just unnecessary to patronise another institute to prove your own school’s mettle.

Why is there a desperate need amongst students to assert their institution’s superiority?

Why is there a baffling obsession among our youth to stay on top by putting others down?

This perennial streak of dissing is more than just harmless enjoyment or a simple pleasure of winning an argument. It alludes to our deep-seated psyche of intolerance.

By not appreciating the diversity of other educational institutes, we are actually showing how divided we are as a people.

We need to finally start acting as the educated individuals with open minds we proudly consider ourselves to be.

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THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 3, 2011

blogosphere honouring urdu For the love of Urdu Urdu apps for the iPhone and iPad are a great way to teach Urdu to youngsters living abroad MUDASSIR AZEEMI

This is how my story begins. I was blessed with my first born, a beautiful daughter, in June 2008. On this special day, my Bhaijan, a close relative who is like a father to me, gave me an important piece of advice: “If you don’t teach your children their mother tongue, then in the future, even if you spend 10,000 dollars, you won’t achieve anything, and your children will never learn Urdu the way they would have learnt it had you taught them the language at a younger age.”

My Bhaijan has been my guardian, my coach, and my mentor after the death of my beloved father. Hence, his advice means the world to me, and I have always kept it close to my heart. Bhaijan believes that culture is strongly associated with language, and we ought to do as much as we can to teach our young ones our language.

Fast forward to June 2011. My daughter is now three years old and I have also been blessed with a son.

So what did I do during these three years?

I embarked on a journey and I started my own company, here in Fremont, CA, with the help of my best friend Arjumand Azeemi. We call it “Qurtaba”, as we want to rekindle the passion of “Innovation, Invention and Deep Research” amongst young Muslims, and specifically amongst children of Pakistani descent.

The motivation behind starting this company was an observation I made when my daughter was 12 months old. I noticed her fluently humming the ABC song with gusto.

After a few months, she was even

Alif Bay Pay helps young children to become familiar with the Urdu alphabet. This app has an alphabet jingle at the end.

Urdu Nursery Rhymes is great fun and an excellent educational tool used to familiarize young children with the Urdu language at an early age. The app has six beautifully sung nursery rhymes for children.

able to recognise the English alphabets. The reason behind this, I later understood, was due to the influence of applications on the iPhone, iPad, Android, and other mobile devices.

In addition to this, I realised that YouTube streaming directly into our house, is really impacting the life of toddlers and children. My daughter, I realized with dismay, could not hum Udru nursery rhymes or recognise the Urdu alphabet.

Bearing this enlightening insight in mind, my business partner and I worked hard to launch some Urdu Apps for children. The first two apps we came up with for the iPhone and iPad are related to the “Alif Bay Pay”, the Urdu alphabet.

My children, I realised with dismay, could not recognise the Urdu alphabet We spent countless hours crafting the details and also performing usability testing among our children.

My friend and partner, Arjumand Azeemi, also has a 3-year-old son.

Thus, it became natural for us to collect feedback from our children.

This, henceforth, became a personal project for us and we were immensely driven to achieve success.

This success came from the eventual launching of Urdu apps on the iPhone and iPad. Even though this step is a relatively small one, it is a vital beginning to ignite the love for Urdu in youngsters living abroad. I gauged my achievement, with tears in my eyes, as in the months to come; I began to notice my children humming Urdu nursery rhymes. My children are now at the stage where they are learning to write the Urdu alphabet on a whiteboard at home.

However, I must be clear on one fact. Our efforts to launch Urdu apps are in no way a ploy to demote

the English language or any native language of the country where an expatriate Pakistani is situated.

Living in a country other than Pakistan, it is understood that the language spoken there becomes the default language, and a child learns it regardless of whether he/ she is taught it or not. However if you observe Chinese, Indian, Italian and Russian families alike have kept their respective cultures alive in the countries they are living in, by teaching their children their mother-tongue. It is for this very reason that Chinese or Russians living abroad are very much in sync with their respective cultures and in touch with their roots.

We, thus, believe that language defines one’s culture and one’s culture defines one’s identity. I think we are now ready to help expatriates by building Urdu apps for mobile phones to keep the love for Urdu alive amongst young children. Our efforts will, at least, bring the upcoming generation a little closer to their culture whilst they are living abroad. Although they will be known as “American”, “British”, “Aussies” and so on, they will still have a part of them that will be Pakistani.

Urdu, English, and our Are we ashamed collective inferiority complex of Urdu?

SAAD LAKHANI

When I was eight years old, my family returned to Pakistan from the United States and my world changed.

I remember (and my relatives won’t ever let me forget) that one of my very first statements was: “Why is everything broken?”

I’m pretty sure I was referring to the buildings and streets at the time but today, I believe many other things are broken too.

I remember thinking about the prospects of going to Pakistan; a place my parents taught me was home. I remember being worried about whether I was going to be easily accepted. One thing I knew was that I had been raised, till now, in a very different environment than the one I was going to.

One thing that really troubled me was that I wouldn’t be able to speak the local language. English was the only language I knew.

I wondered how I’d manage in Pakistan, as I was bound to have problems in interacting with people. I imagined myself struggling to utter words in broken Urdu and people thinking I was dumb.

But, in reality, society was adjusting to me instead of the other way

Why is it that in our own country, our own language has no value? round. Instead of me struggling to speak to others, I saw people trying to speak to me. I also got the whiff of the ‘show-off’ factor in people.

People desperately tried to speak in English. And I could see by their faces the difficulty many were going through. Personally, I felt embarrassed seeing everybody put all their efforts in trying to speak in such a poor way. And after each exhausting attempt at it, it was as though they asked through their facial expressions and body language: “How was I?” Some may not think this was awkward but for an eight-yearold, it was. And it should be ten times more so for a 70-year-old. Just imagine yourself going to the US from Pakistan and seeing everyone

around you work their tails off just to speak to you in Urdu. And not only this; you also notice that people are competing with each other to prove who is the better speaker of ‘your’ language.

I was taught to have pride for my country and was disturbed to see people looking down upon their own language. Soon I reacted by refusing to reply in English. Instead, I tried my best to answer in whatever broken Urdu I knew.

People were shocked at my behaviour. I think they found it equally awkward. My aunts often said that I was lucky that I was fluent in English as people looked up to those who were. I would always get the what-do-you-mean-isn’tit-obvious look whenever I tried to know the reason behind it.

Why are people looked up to just because they know English? The reason is that knowing this language is considered a sign of superiority. It’s as if just knowing it makes us smarter and more knowledgeable. We can suddenly speak with more authority. When we want to make a point, or an impression, we throw a sentence or two in English. As if doing so would make the content matter

more than it would otherwise be.

It is because of this attitude that a particular class dominates our society. The reason: they could afford an English language education.

And if you were to analyse more closely you would realise that this has caused chaos in the lives of ordinary Pakistanis.

And so my question is: Why is there a dearth of opportunities for people who can’t speak a particular language which is not even native to them?

Why is it that in your own country, your own language has no value?

In my opinion it’s all because of our mental slavery. By admitting the West’s superiority, we give up our identity, our pride and our humanity.

In 1948 the Duke of Gloucester, the brother of the British emperor, came to Pakistan, and the British envoy requested the Quaid-e-Azam to receive him. Jinnah replied: “If I do so then the British head of state (King) would have to reciprocate when my brother would visit London.”

Today our president feels no shame in carrying out a press conference with a third level US representative like Holbrooke. Today, our most senior ministers go thorough body scans when entering US airports, whereas, US citizens are given visas with zero scrutiny.

Just recently, Senator and acting president of the ANP, Haji Adeel, was not allowed to enter the US embassy despite an official invitation. He was told by a guard that he needed a specific sticker on his car to get in or he could park outside.

You do not need to be physically captured to be a slave.

Was our land occupied when our authorities handed over our people to the US? Were we not independent when Dr Aafia Siddiqui was taken to trial in the US? No, we were a sovereign entity!

Or were we?

Urdu is a beautiful language— we owe our country the respect it deserves by speaking it AMNA KHALID

Most Pakistanis have been brought up speaking Urdu and English. Instead of conversing in Urdu which is our national language, many of us lapse into English during everyday conversation. Even people who do not speak English very well try their best to sneak in a sentence or two, considering it essential for their acceptance in the ‘cooler’ crowd.

I don’t know where the trend started, but unknowingly, unconsciously, somehow or the other we all get sucked into the trap. It was not until a few years ago while on a college trip to Turkey that I realised the misgivings our innocent jabbering causes.

A group of students of the LUMS Cultural Society trip went to Istanbul, Turkey to mark the 100th Anniversary of the famous Sufi poet Rumi.

One day we were exploring the city when we stopped at a café for lunch. The waiter took our orders, and continued to hover around our table during the meal. We barely noticed him until he came with the bill, and asked us: “Where are you from?”

“Pakistan” The waiter looked surprised, and then asked whether we had been brought up in England.

We answered in the negative, telling him how Pakistan was where we all had grown up and spent out lives. The waiter genuinely looked perplexed now.

Finally he blurted out: ‘Then why don’t you speak in the Pakistani language?’

The waiter went on to explain how Turkey, particularly

If Pakistan is where you have grown up, then why don’t you speak Urdu?

Istanbul was a hot tourist location, luring millions of people of different nationalities from across the globe. However, when the Dutch would come visit, they would speak Dutch.

When the French would come, they would speak French. When the Chinese would come visit, they would speak Chinese.

Similarly everyone in Turkey spoke Turkish. He claimed he was very proud of his language and culture and failed to understand how someone would not speak the language of their country and choose instead a foreign tongue.

There were around ten of us there, and we were all at a loss for an answer. We had never thought of it that way. It was just something that you took up because of society. Even when people speak in Urdu, they tend to include a lot of English words in their sentences. Why is that?

Is it because we are not proud of our national language? I am sure all of us are aware of how beautiful Urdu is, the poetry, grace and rhythm of our language is exceptional.

One excuse that springs to mind is the concept of ‘ westernisation’ due to the increased

pace of globalisation in todays world. Globalisation is a factor, and yet the Japanese still speak Japanese, the Thai still speak Thai, the Greeks still speak Greek. China, a powerhouse on the global economic front, despite its many factories and western products production still speaks Chinese. In fact, when the Chinese Olympics were held in 2008, the Chinese government actually had to ask its Chinese public to learn a few basic English words to help welcome the world.

I respect how these countries value their sense of identity, culture and language. I was deeply ashamed of what image I was unknowingly portraying of my country. I am very proud of Pakistan and Urdu, as I am sure we all are. No matter the problems, it is still our identity. I understand the irony of this article, since it is written in English. However, it is one way to reach those people who may unconsciously be making the same mistake as I was.

When living in the UK or travelling abroad, I make sure I use Urdu to converse with fellow Pakistanis. At home, I am also trying, though it is admittedly difficult since apparently there is a weird and honestly ‘sad’ association of how ‘cool’, well brought-up and educated a person is with the amount of English he or she speaks. I write this article because it is high time we break such ignorant patterns in our society. Urdu is a beautiful and graceful language and we owe our country the respect it deserves by speaking and portraying our true roots.

Kiya khayal hai?

24

THE EXPRESS TRIBUNE, SEPTEMBER 3, 2011

offbeat Dentist visits unhappy hippo

Woman attacks cash machine with stiletto

When the patient with a toothache weighs 3,000 pounds, he doesn’t go to the dentist — the dentist comes to him.

A North Carolina veterinarian made a long-distance house call to a hippopotamus in a Puerto Rico zoo who was getting a little long in the tooth.

It was another day at the office for Dr Mike Loomis, chief vet at the North Carolina Zoo, who’s been filing the lower teeth of Tony the hippo at the Parque de las Ciencias Luis A. Ferre for 20 years.

After sedating the huge mammal, Loomis takes a saw to trim the chompers before they can cause oral problems to Tony.

Years ago, before he became Loomis’s patient, Tony’s bottom teeth cut through his upper lip.

Wiltshire police are hunting for a woman who was caught on CCTV smashing up an ATM with her shoe.

Officers said the as yet unexplained attack took place shortly after midnight on Saturday July 2 in Chippenham.

The woman stood at the cash point in the market place for several minutes before removing her shoe and striking the machine “almost 50 times”.

She appeared to make a second attempt to use the machine before removing her shoe again to repeat the attack.

At one point she can be seen taking a run up at the Barclays bank hole-in-the-wall.

The attack left both the key pad and the screen out of order.

Detective Constable Richard Gardner of Wiltshire Police said: “This was a completely senseless and inane act which caused sufficient damage to make the machine unusable for other customers.

“I would like to hear from anyone who recognises the woman shown in the CCTV or who has any information in relation to this incident.”

SOURCE: WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM

SOURCE: WWW.TELEGRAPH.CO.UK

by a 90-yearKangaroo caught nicking knickers Beaten old woman A kangaroo, after escaping from his owner, went on a knicker nicking spree.

Benji bounced from garden to garden in Prague, Czech Republic, collecting ladies lingerie as he went along. He was only caught when one victim looked out of her kitchen window and saw the two-year-old marsupial hopping it with her undies.

A police spokesman explained: “We had a call from Benji’s owner saying his pet kangaroo had escaped. At the same time we started getting reports of a number of thefts from washing lines”.

“We didn’t think they could possibly be related until he was caught red-handed,” he added.

Benji’s owner Petr Hlabovic, 35, said: “I’m very relieved to have him back. I’ve got no idea what he thought he was up to — he certainly didn’t pick up the habit from me.”

Brushing hair can be life-threatening

A feisty 90-year-old German woman chased away three wouldbe burglars from her rural farmhouse with her cane, police said on Monday.

The retired farmer was moving around her house with the help of a walking frame and spotted the intruders — two men and one woman.

She grabbed her cane and started beating the burglars with it.

The trio fled the house in a town outside Muenster.

“It was quite courageous of her,” a police spokeswoman said.

“But on the other hand it was also quite dangerous. She was quite fortunate that nothing serious happened.”

SOURCE: WWW.REUTERS.COM

Thirteen-year-old Scottish teen Megan Stewart can’t brush her hair while sitting up.

It’s not that she wouldn’t want to — rather, if she does, she runs the risk of her brain shutting down because of static electricity.

Stewart has a rare condition called “hair brushing syndrome,” which is triggered from static electricity. The condition is so rare that Stewart’s doctors had only ever heard of one other case of the condition.

As a result, Stewart can’t touch balloons, nor can she wear shiny clothing, because of the danger of static shock.

And now, Stewart brushes her hair upside down, with her hair hanging over the side of her bed, to avoid the risk of static electricity. She also has to keep it damp while brushing it.

It all started three years ago, when Stewart’s mom was brushing her hair on her first day of the sixth grade. As her hair was being brushed, Stewart “flopped over and her lips turned blue,” said her mother, Sharon.

Stewart’s condition might be a result of birth complications.

She was born weighing two pounds and five ounces, with a hole in her diaphragm, causing her stomach to fall through and only one lung to grow because of the lack of room in her body.

SOURCE: WEB.ORANGE.CO.UK

SOURCE: WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM

Mr Feathers refuses Drunker than to be ruffled thou...

Say aye aye to the ipad

A five-month-old featherless chicken has become something of a local celebrity.

Owner Lao Yin said the unique chicken, who is housed at his farm in Laoshan, Qingdao, northern China’s Shandong Province, is often bullied by its peers.

“I started to notice it was different 10 days after its birth because while others were fluffy, he was almost naked,” said Lao Yin. Lao Yin called the featherless chicken Ha Mao (Mr Feather).

Not only does Hao Mao not grow feathers, but it also puts on weight very slowly. It weighs less than half a kilogram, while its peers are two to three kilos.

Lao Yin also owns a farm restaurant, and Ha Mao is quite a hit there.

He added: “Some customers visit and take pictures of themselves with Hao Mao. And some have even offered me high prices for it, but I have refused.”

A Denver bride said one of her bridesmaids couldn’t make the ceremony in person, so she participated via webcam and an iPad held by a groomsman.

Jamie Alberico said her best friend and bridesmaid Renee Armstrong was in Virginia Saturday when she got married to Jonathan Alberico, but was able to participate virtually with the help of a white iPad carried down the aisle by a groomsman.

“Renee called dibs to be my bridesmaid many many moons ago and unfortunately she couldn’t physically make it out here but thank you, technology,” Jamie Alberico said.

“She got to see the whole ceremony, she got to meet everyone and be here for the reception.”

Armstrong said it was a great experience even though she was 1,600 miles away.

“I got all teary-eyed during the ceremony and I couldn’t have gotten that from pictures,” Armstrong said.

Inflated electrician high on air

Looks as if this priest needs to ask for forgiveness.

After allegedly showing up drunk to a baptism on Saturday at All Hallows Catholic Church in Sacramento, Calif., Rev. Julian Medina was been suspended by the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento.

The 64-year-old was scheduled to baptise 15 children in front of about 150 people, but instead showed up one hour late, slurred his words and had to be carried out of the church after falling over. A worker had to call in a deacon to perform the sacrament.

“We apologise to the families who had to experience this incident,” said the Rev. Santiago Raudes, a canon lawyer for the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento. The priest has been with the diocese since 1978, but Medina was fairly new to the church.

A diocese spokesperson said officials are still investigating the matter, but that Medina will be offered help if it turns out he has a problem.

An electrician nearly died in a horrific and bizarre work accident when he was ‘inflated’ by a pressurised air line which went up his bottom.

Dad-of-one Gareth Durrant, 26, was wiring a caravan at the factory where he worked when the large pipe — carrying compressed air at around 300lbs per square inch — shot up his back passage.

He was rushed to hospital where scans revealed a six-inch tear in his bowel and severe damage to his intestines. He then faced hours of emergency surgery to save his life while wife Sarah, 25, waited anxiously with their toddler son Daniel, three.

The op repaired the tear and also involved performing an ileostomy leaving him with a stoma bag to collect bodily waste — and the ‘inflation’ means some of his clothes no longer fit him.

He was unable to eat properly as he was vomiting food and now suffers agonising stomach pains and cramps as well as depression, anxiety and panic attacks.

He has also not been able to work since causing this huge financial strain on his young family. Wife Sarah, who is currently eight months pregnant, can now only work part-time because she has to look after her husband and their three-year-old son.

Gareth is pursuing a civil claim against his employer and a court will decide whether they were responsible. If they are found liable he will be able to claim compensation.

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