Metro Times 12/30/20

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NEWS & VIEWS Feedback

while living a virtuous life, supporting your community and celebrating creativity and purpose. —@dmcgoogoo, Instagram

Vol. 41 | Issue 12 | Dec. 3, 2020-Jan. 13, 2021

Lee DeVito’s cover story “Why this year is the perfect time for Detroit to celebrate Kwanzaa,” which pointed out that downtown has a large Christmas tree and Hanukkah menorah but no large Kwanzaa kinara, received a number of comments.

Many homes in the city of Detroit celebrate Kwanzaa and always have. A large kinara downtown sounds nice. —@Celeste12101691, Twitter It’s not an annual tradition but I’ve gone to 4-5 Kwanzaa dinners and if you read the seven principles, I bet you’d agree it makes good sense. It’s a totally logical non-religious holiday, no bullshit characters coming down chimneys. Honor the dead and the family

Gee it seems a lot like a religious holiday that has various similarities to Christianity. Actually Kris Kringle aka Santa Claus is German folklore about giving to the children who had nothing. Only now is it commercialized for present day society who only care about superficial things to satisfied themselves. —@kathleenfortun, Instagram

Publisher - Chris Keating Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen

News & Views Feedback ............................... 6 Informed Dissent .................. 8

EDITORIAL Editor in Chief - Lee DeVito Music and Listings Editor - Jerilyn Jordan Investigative Reporter - Steve Neavling Dining Contributor - Biba Adams Copy Boy - Dave Mesrey

ADVERTISING I’m not sure how the tree started but I know the dedicated group of jewish folks who made the menorah happen. @ benjirosenzweig would be happy to share the story. —@trybean, Instagram Sound off: letters@metrotimes.com.

Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen Regional Sales Director Danielle Smith-Elliott Multimedia Account Executive Jessica Frey Account Manager, Classifieds - Josh Cohen

Feature Looking back at 40 years of

Metro Times ........................ 10

BUSINESS/OPERATIONS Business Support Specialist - Josh Cohen Controller - Kristy Dotson

CREATIVE SERVICES Graphic Designers Haimanti Germain, Evan Sult

CIRCULATION Circulation Manager - Annie O’Brien

EUCLID MEDIA GROUP

Arts & Culture The best music of 2020 ........ 15 Savage Love ......................... 18 Horoscopes .......................... 22

Chief Executive Officer - Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers - Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services - Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator - Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising - Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866 vmgadvertising.com Detroit Metro Times 30 E. Canfield St. Detroit, MI 48201 metrotimes.com Got a story tip or feedback? Email letters@metrotimes.com or call 313-202-8011 Want to advertise with us? Call 313-961-4060 Want us dropped off at your business, or have questions about circulation? Call 313-202-8049 Get social: @metrotimes Detroit distribution: The Detroit Metro Times is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. The Detroit Metro Times is published every Wednesday by Euclid Media Group.

On the cover: Design by Evan Sult

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EUCLID MEDIA • Copyright: The entire contents of the Detroit Metro Times are copyright 2020 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Prior written permission must be granted to Metro Times for additional copies. Metro Times may be distributed only by Metro Times’ authorized distributors and independent contractors. Subscriptions are available by mail inside the U.S. for six months at $80 and a yearly subscription for $150. Include check or money order payable to: Metro Times Subscriptions, 30 E. Canfield St., Detroit, MI 48201. (Please note: Third Class subscription copies are usually received 3-5 days after publication date in the Detroit area.) Most back issues obtainable for $5 at Metro Times offices or $7 prepaid by mail.


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NEWS & VIEWS Informed Dissent

Four lessons from a year we’d rather forget By Jeffrey C. Billman

If you’d told me on Jan. 1, 2020,

that Donald Trump would lose, I’d have been relieved. If you’d told me it took 300,000 deaths and more than 20 million lost jobs to get that result — and that Trump would come within 50,000 votes of winning the Electoral College anyway — I’d have been unnerved. If you’d told me that Trump would invent an election conspiracy and half the Republican Party would sign on to his coup, I might have moved to Canada. But here we are. As we depart the hellscape of 2020, there are four important (if sobering) lessons I think we’d do well to remember — warning signs that, while we dodged a bullet, our democracy and institutions are weaker today than they were 12 months ago. The scourge of illiberalism hasn’t been vanquished. Until it is, our century’s defining challenges — climate change, socioeconomic inequality, systemic racism — will likely go unmet.

1. Authoritarianism is more attractive than we admit. Despite a crushing economic collapse and a criminally mismanaged pandemic — and before that, the administration’s cruelty, lies, corruption, and ineptitude — 74 million people wanted four more years of Donald Trump. You can chalk that up to polarization and incumbency. But there’s another explanation we mustn’t ignore: Authoritarianism sells. For those who lost faith in institutions and felt left behind by rapid social and economic changes, Trump’s orderversus-chaos, us-versus-them bombast offered morally unambiguous answers to complex problems. He convinced his base — often working-class whites — that his enemies were their enemies, that he and they were the victims of scornful cultural elites. On Election Day, they turned out in droves. Trump improved his standing in immigrant neighborhoods and among people of color, too — Latinos and Blacks aren’t immune to authoritar-

ian appeals — but he got swamped in diverse, educated cities and suburbs, where his atavistic populism proved to be Joe Biden’s best friend. Still, Trump won 47% of the vote with the world falling apart. Imagine what a more competent demagogue could do.

2. The Republican Party isn’t conservative. After Trump’s defeat, 126 GOP House members co-signed a tinfoil-hat legal argument asking the Supreme Court to toss the election results. Meanwhile, a devolving Trump is entertaining calls to institute martial law, and some members of Congress say they’ll challenge electors’ certification on Jan. 6. Whether Republicans believe the fever dream or fear mean tweets is irrelevant. The point is that, over the last four years, the GOP has morphed into an authoritarian cult of personality. The post-election sedition was just the cherry on top. But the party’s descent began before Trump, and it will continue after him. It’s not Burkean. It’s Hannitized: radical and oppositional, angry and conspiratorial, dismissive of opponents’ legitimacy, and unmoored to any ideology beyond owning the libs, accumulating power, and cutting taxes. It rages at the enemy du jour — the deep state, antifa, China, Hunter Biden, whatever — but has become so intellectually bereft that it no longer competes in the marketplace of ideas. Instead, it invented its own reality.

3. There’s no price for shamelessness. In 2013, as the U.S. clawed back from the Great Recession, House Republicans brought the world economy to the brink by manufacturing a debt crisis. Four years later, with the GDP growing and Trump in the Oval, they voted to give the wealthy a trillion-dollar tax cut. Now, with Joe Biden taking the reins, deficits are a problem again, though the country is facing a dark winter of COVID deaths, evictions, business closures, and layoffs.

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2020 was a bad year for America — and for the American experiment..

So we can’t have $1,200 stimulus payments and $600-a-week unemployment supplements and aid to state and local governments. We get piddly-ass $600 checks, a few weeks of $300 unemployment assistance, dark money loopholes for special interests, and a tax break for three-martini lunches that Democrats traded for expanding a tax credit for poor families. Tough luck, cities! Republicans realized something about politics in a polarized era in which conservatives get their information from an echo chamber: There’s no price for shamelessness. Hypocrisy, either — which the Amy Coney Barrett confirmation neatly illustrated. Norms mean nothing. Power is the only currency. If you have it, use it.

4. The system is broken. Anti-Trump Republican exiles comprised a key part of Biden’s coalition — which doesn’t bode well for progressives, particularly after Democrats fell short of their congressional expectations. Party leaders see their path to power by accommodating white moderates, which means marginalizing their left flank. Whatever logic there is behind this strategy exists only because of the undemocratic nature of our democracy. Biden won by more than 7 million votes

PUBLIC DOMAIN

— 4.5 percentage points. Senate Dems will represent between 20 million and 41 million more Americans next year than Senate Republicans, depending on the outcomes in Georgia. And House Democrats earned 5 million more votes than House Republicans. Yet Biden squeaked by in Arizona, Wisconsin, and Georgia, which together had enough electoral votes to hand Trump the White House. Senate Democrats will either be in the minority or clinging to a 50-50 split. House Democrats barely kept their majority. The country isn’t conservative. But by bestowing outsize power on white rural voters, our anachronistic system has deceived us into thinking it is. In turn, that’s fomented an almost Jacobin cycle of Republican radicalization while constraining policy options. We don’t do what needs to be done. We do what those in the empowered and entitled minority deem acceptable, then praise them for giving us crumbs. The wider the gap between the necessary and the possible, between what the people want and what the government provides, the more imperiled the American experiment will become. Get more Informed Dissent delivered to your inbox by subscribing at billman. substack.com.


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The White Stripes perform at Metro Times Blowout in 1999. | DOUG COOMBE

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FEATURE

This Is 40

40 ways Metro Times changed Detroit (and beyond) over the past 40 years By MT staff As Metro Times founders and former owners Ron Williams and Laura Markham once recalled, when they set out to create an “alternative” weekly newspaper for Detroit in 1980 — one with an emphasis on art and culture, and also news — they were “armed with a business plan, a burning sense of idealism, a boundless sense of naïveté, and about $5,000.” That was in spite of the fact that at the time Detroit was experiencing a terrible economic downturn, and the fact that other “more talented and better-funded enterprises,” as they said, had also tried and failed to enter the Motor City’s media market. Indeed, many of our other fellow so-called “alt-weeklies” across the county have since folded as well — but four decades later we’re still somehow alive and kicking. s a scrappy weekly, we may not always be first, or best, or even 100% right (though dammit, we do try), but we don’t think it’s any exaggeration to say that Detroit wouldn’t be the same without MT. For our final issue of the year marking our th anni ersary, we dug into the archi es to look back on years of influential stories. —Lee DeVito What’s going on?

It might seem silly, but MT’s weekly events listings of happenings around town were the sole reason many metro Detroiters picked up the paper, and it’s perhaps easy to forget what a sea change this was in 1980. Known as “What’s Happenin’” in the debut issue and later renamed “What’s Going On” as our ode to Marvin Gaye, in the pre-internet age MT’s comprehensive listings were for a long time the source to help people figure out what to do that weekend — and proof that despite common misconceptions, there was actually plenty of culture in this Rust Belt city. It’s a tradition we look forward to bringing back once this pandemic ends.

Pressure on Poletown

MT made a big splash just weeks after its debut with “Push comes to shove,” a 1980 story about General Motors’ takeover of the Poletown neighborhood to evict thousands and build what would become Detroit-Hamtramck Assembly. The move was championed by the Coleman Young

administration and many in the mainstream media as a jobs creator that could help etroit right its dire finances, but writer Michael Betzold questioned why a viable neighborhood had to be destroyed — with tax abatements. It was an issue that MT followed passionately throughout the years as a legal battle made it all the way to the Michigan Supreme Court, which eventually ruled in favor of GM. After all that, it stung last year when GM announced that it planned on shuttering the facility as part of a global cost-saving effort. acklash ensued, and e entually changed course after discussions with the United Auto Workers union; now it plans to transform it into “Factory Zero,” a state-of-the-art facility that will make electric and self-driving cars. It’s likely that without the hell that MT and other outlets raised over the issue through the years, GM might have gotten away with it, too.

And the award goes to...

In the fall of 1982, Metro Times presented the first e er etroit usic wards, a

reader-driven event celebrating the local music scenes. MT ran the DMAs for 10 years until the Motor City Music Foundation launched a rival awards show. In 1997, MT and the MCMF joined forces to produce a joint showcase, but in 2005 MT severed ties and launched its own event again, the Metro Times Music Awards. That didn’t last, but the Detroit Music Awards is still going strong.

Gambling Belle Isle

In the April 1985 story “The secret Belle Isle casino gambling plan,” reporter Rosanne Less and Williams landed a scoop a confidential document which details a proposal to transform the city-owned island park of Belle Isle into an international resort and conference center which would feature casino hotel gambling.” The developers tried to get ahead of the story by handing it to the business-friendly Detroit News to spin it, but TV newsman Bill Bonds saw the real story here. “He sent TV cameras o er to our o ces, recalled illiams. “And he asked the question, ‘How could a little paper like this scoop everyone else in town on a story this big?’”

Give it away… to the CIA?

“The politics of giving,” an October 1985 story by writer Russ Bellant, showed how the etroit based nonprofit orld Medical Relief Inc., which provided supplies to people across the world, had ties to the CIA. Bellant also showed that medical supplies were indeed being collected and flown abroad, but not all of them were going to help the sick and poor, and also documented ties between the group and CIA-led counterinsurgency measures as far back as the late 1950s. According to Williams, Bellant’s story elicited an obscenityladen call from Gen. John Singlaub, a retired rmy o cer. Not bad

You stink!

MT’s coverage of Detroit Renewable Power’s trash incinerator, which burned garbage to generate steam and electricity and was a nuisance to those who lived nearby, started early on and spanned decades. Eventually, the incinerator belched its last foul-smelling cloud last year; its private owner said the plant was closed because it was too old and costly to keep open, but MT — and the many activists and attorneys who opposed the project — kept the issue alive for many years.

Anti-apartheid

Reporter Rosanne Less made waves for a number of stories showing that Detroit developments had skirted anti-apartheid boycotts and ordinances meant to punish the racist government of South Africa. That included “Detroit’s apartheid connection,” an April 6 story that showed the financiers of the incinerator had ties to South Africa. Less did it again in August 1988 with “Detroit’s People Mover: Made in South Africa?” With the help of Frank Provenzano, they showed that “Made in South Africa” was engraved on some Detroit People Mover steel railings. The scoop forced the city to have the contractor responsible for the steel remove it, at a cost of at least $30,000.

A farewell to Crockett

Morris Gleicher was a longtime political consultant and former president of the Michigan ACLU who became an MT adviser and investor. He was also known for landing the occasional scoop, thanks to his strong connections in the social justice community. A 1990 column announcing the retirement of U.S. Rep. George Crockett, “A heavyweight hangs up his gloves,” was “leaked” to the press the night before publication and caused

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such a stir that o cials were running around town trying to find a copy.

Michigan’s militia problem

i months before the klahoma ity bombing in pril , MT in estigati e reporter eth awkins wrote atriot games, an ctober article about ichigan’s militia mo ement, which e panded on a story that originally appeared in ra erse ity’s alternati e paper, Northern Express. awkins uoted militia e pert hip erlet saying, personally do not sleep well with groups of armed paranoids who belie e the go ernment is behind a totalitarian conspiracy. entually, they will ha e a confrontation. t’s ine itable. ollowing the tragedy in klahoma, MT editor esiree ooper wrote, merica now ponders aloud how we failed to see it coming, despite se eral warning shots from alternati e publications such as the Metro Times and ra erse ity’s Northern Express. lash forward to , and ichigan’s militias are once again in the national spotlight after the said it thwarted a plot to assassinate o ernor retchen hitmer linked to a group called the ol erine atchmen.

base, metrotimes.com was created in , while freep.com was established in 6 and detroitnews.com in . MT was also uick to de elop databases for local restaurants and entertainment,

to manage the properties and bring them up to code.

Major exposés on cops

MT, as well as the Michigan Citizen,

We also know Dick

ong before resident onald rump appointed megadonor and public enemy of public education etsy e os to be his ecretary of ducation, you could read about her family in Metro Times, including ou don’t know ick, a 6 co er story by urt ueyette that looked into the influence of the ick and etsy e os oundation in right wing causes, ahead of ick’s failed gubernatorial campaign.

MT goes to Hollywood

Know your techno history

ong before became a music uggernaut, MT was already chronicling the history of techno, the homegrown electronic music mo ement that started in the s and endures to this day, in a three part co er story by obey chlin. MT is e en part of techno history, getting name checked in Night ri e hru abylon , an early record by techno originator Juan tkins’ odel . ample lyrics y head is filled with techno beat, Metro Times, Face maga ine n the late ’ s, MT would also grant sprawling, three part histories to the blues by eith wens , a erb oyd , and rock en dmonds .

Who watches the watchmen?

MT co ered the labor dispute at etroit’s two daily newspapers, including the Joint perating greement that merged the papers’ non editorial sides, and a bitter strike that lasted for two years and resulted in hundreds of workers getting laid off. Not only did the dispute show the alue of an alternati e press to report on the mainstream media, but the dailies’ loss was MT’s gain, with editors . im eron and arry abriel umping ship, along with freelancer Jim c arlin.

World wide what?

hough alt weeklies are often written off as relics of the print past, MT was actually uick to oin the world wide web. ccording to the data-

columnist Jack essenberry in the pages of MT, and also for national outlets like Vanity Fair and Esquire. Jack e orkian, faults and all, was a ma or force for good in this society, essenberry argued in MT, which was uoted in e orkian’s obituary in The New York Times. e forced us to pay attention to one of the biggest elephants in society’s li ing room the fact that today ast numbers of people are ali e who would rather be dead, who ha e li es not worth li ing.

which other papers across the country bought to replicate in their markets. MT was also sa y to create ohnengler. com during the 6 presidential race, when then ichigan o . John ngler was considered by many to be on the shortlist to be ob ole’s running mate, with the site ser ing as a landing page for MT’s stories about him.

Avoiding a fall

nn ullen scooped the dailies in ll fall down, an pril article about the bankruptcy of inancial orp., a multimillion dollar mortgage company that owned about ,6 rental properties in the city’s poorest neighborhoods. any of the properties were in disrepair, and the bankruptcy would’ e de astated etroit’s ta base, housing market, and the census count she also e posed ties between and a nonprofit that was being used to increase the company’s profits. bout a month after publishing, a task force of o cials and neighborhood leaders formed to determine how

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co ered the people who died under custody of the etroit olice epartment before the dailies weighed in. et him die, a eptember piece by nn ullen reported on at least people who died while in custody between and as a direct result of ullen’s story, the department announced a number of reforms. nd Under the gun, an award winning pril co er story by ullen, told of o cer Jerold landing, who repeatedly shot a man who said he’d mistakenly walked up to the o cer’s ehicle at a dri e up . he stories preceded a federal probe into years later, landing would be back in the news after killing a year old.

We do know Jack

he infamous case of Jack e orkian aka r. eath, the medical pathologist who ignited a national debate about assisted suicide and e entually ser ed eight years in prison was one that was co ered e tensi ely by longtime

ormer MT editor rian mith’s award winning co er story Jesus of uburbia holiday tale, of sorts, was a first person piece about his friendship with the late oug opkins of the band the in lossoms, who ended his life in suicide. he story had a wide impact that continues to this day. side from eliciting countless emails from fans, this year, it was optioned by producers arah latt and ike ankelfor for a film called Lost Horizons, which we’re told is now in pre production, with a screenplay written by rian and his wife, aggie mith, with music super ision by Jonathan aniel and rush anagement. peaking of ollywood, two MT staffers ha e also been immortali ed in film James Urbaniak The Venture Bros. played Jack essenberry in You Don’t Know Jack, the drama about the notorious Jack e orkian which earned star l acino mmy and olden lobe awards , while arry Judge Star Trek Discovery played urt uyette in ifetime’s ueen atifah starring film Flint.

Going gonzo

nother alue of the alternati e press is that we can gleefully break the rules of ournalism like making our reporters part of the story, for instance. he late arah lein, MT’s former culture editor, was a master of the form ing with geeks in the woods, di ing into the etroit i er in the middle of winter, and attending a hristian motorcycle rally, among other ad entures. Unsurprisingly for someone who fearlessly put herself out there, lein was also a burles ue performer. adly, she died in a car crash in at age 6. n recent years, Jerilyn Jordan has picked up the mantle, perhaps


best e emplified when she attempted to attend all si of id ock’s inaugural shows at ittle aesars rena for a eptember co er story in an effort to figure out if his enate campaign was real, and spinning the heel of estiny at Jobbie Nooner in a June story.

INSIDE:

BIG SHOTS

A METRO TIMES SUPPLEMENT

Feb. 27-March 4, 2008 • Detroit’s weekly alternative

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Kid’s stuff

Here’s to hip-hop

MT and rap rock king id ock, aka obert itchie, ha e been beefing for years, long before he became a toady for resident onald rump apparently itchie felt we snubbed him early in his career and ne er got o er it. here was the time we crowned him oob of the ear in , and then a decade later he e en called MT’s Jerilyn Jordan a dark and sad young lady on witter following her co erage of his ittle aesars rena shows, and the enue operators, the litch owned lympia ntertainment, e en pulled ad ertising from MT, referring to our co erage as a challenge. e feel somewhat indicated last year, lympia and id ock’s ade in etroit restaurant parted ways after he was caught on ideo at his Nash ille bar ranting about prah while isibly into icated.

efore minem and 8 Mile, MT was co ering etroit hip hop, including ayfield aller’s story on trailbla ing rapper sham, who m would later cite as an influence. here was also a pair of early aughts co er stories about the group that should ha e put etroit hip hop on the map, lum illage, written by staff writer hary imani urner. n , m came out of a brief hiatus by granting then music editor ill oldship an e clusi e and candid inter iew, which promptly crashed MT’s ser er, thanks to the rapper’s stans m returned to the co er in to talk about years of hady ecords. n recent years, freelancer ahn antori a ison has co ered e eryone from iral star ee ri ley to numerous up and comers.

One bad doctor

uyette’s January two part series tale of two hospitals detailed the role r. oon . im played in the demise of two area facilities urora mental hospital and reater etroit ospital. n , im agreed to settle a lawsuit by paying the state , for iolating ichigan’s public health code and pri acy laws after it was disco ered confidential medical records were being burned at his farm in ashtenaw ounty.

For those about to rock

ears before he was Jack hite of the hite tripes, he was John illis, drummer in alt country cowpunk band oober and the eas, which you could read about in a story by hom Jurek. hite would later land on the co er ust as the hite tripes were blowing up, with elissa iannini’s ay story, he sweet twist of success. s the tripes’ so called garage rock scene gained national attention, MT profiled other bands of the era, including the etroit obras, the irtbombs, and the on ondies. ormer Creem editor ill oldship penned a two part history of the storied homegrown rock ’n’ roll maga ine in , and Creem designer harles uringer become MT’s longest ser ing art director.

Tax troubles isa

. ollins’ award winning ugust story earth and ta es re ealed that the ity of etroit had one of the lowest ta collection rates in the nation, and it was costing the city 6 million a year in lost re enue. ithin weeks

established national acts, and spread it across enues in amtramck, etroit, and erndale. he last lowout was in by then, local music fans had already set up the amtramck usic est in lowout’s pre ious arch timeslot.

Parking, parking! of the story being published, etroit handed collections o er to the county, netting a 6 million windfall for etroit in the first year. ut it foreshadowed the problems that would later lead to etroit declaring bankruptcy.

Chronicling injustices

topic that MT has co ered o er the years is in ustice in criminal ustice. hat includes onfessions and recantations, an award winning story by nn ullen about etroit teenager idale c owell, who was con icted of murdering his mother and sent to prison for life after etroit police coerced what was later found to be a false confession from c owell’s friend months after the story ran, c owell was set free. andra oboda’s two part story easonable doubt looked at problems with the case of rederick reeman, aka emu in ensu, who was sentenced to life in prison for a crime he says he did not commit. ensu remains behind bars, but se eral years ago an n estigation isco ery episode shed light on the issue, sourcing from MT. yan elton and ustin litchok’s 6 story ough ustice about arin otton, whose lawyers argued he was wrongfully imprisoned due to a concocted testimony from an informant who later withdrew his claims, preceded otton’s e oneration in .

Calling out Kwame

ollowing the re elations of the many

scandals of former ayor wame ilpatrick, MT became the first ma or etroit publication to call for his resignation, with , word ebruary editorial titled Just go. e en months later, ilpatrick would do so. e remains behind bars.

On top of pot

MT has long sung the praises of the sweet leaf long before ichigan oters legali ed mari uana for medical purposes in and finally for recreational use a decade later publishing a weekly column from cannabis folk hero John inclair immortali ed in song by John ennon and later by arry abriel. MT remains one of the few local publications in town that will publish cannabis industry ads.

Blown-up

n , MT music editor hris andyside got a cra y idea to throw a local music festi al across the bars of amtramck in arch. t was a smashing success we’re talking duffel bags full of money success. he second year was e en better, featuring an en ious bill of then up and comers minem, the hite tripes billed as hite tripe sorry , the irtbombs, the pre lectric i ildbunch, and more later incarnations would feature the likes of anny rown, ndrew . ., and eath. e’ll concede lowout lost its way when we mo ed it from its typical arch slot to later in the year, started booking

peaking of ittle aesars, MT has long been critical of the billionaire pi a peddlers’ use of ta payer funds to gobble up property downtown. n his story ittle aesar’s big bite, urt uyette unco ered a plan to use the ta payer funded etroit ayne ounty tadium uthority to ac uire property with the intent of turning it o er to litch, which sparked public outcry that the city would try to use eminent domain to gi e litch parking lots. n , as the litches were mo ing forward with a plan to use ta payer funds for a new hockey arena, yan elton wrote ulling the strings, a rare story from the local media at the time critical of the deal. n , ports ran a story critical of the fact that the de elopment that the litches promised would sprout around the arena failed to materiali e. oday, the area surrounding the arena is still parking lots, and much of the local media has since also grown critical of the litches, following MT’s lead.

First on Flint

n , MT’s former owners fired longtime in estigati e ournalist urt uyette for gross insubordination and breach of company trust their words for di ulging the contents of a company press release minutes before it was posted online. MT’s loss was the U of ichigan’s gain, with uyette oining the nonprofit in a uni ue role as a reporter, and he soon made wa es in estigating the then unfolding water crisis in lint. eptember column that uyette

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graciously gave to MT pro bono was among the first reporting on the issue, which Guyette would continue to pursue through a partnership between the ACLU and MT. What a stand-up guy.

We’re not afraid of billionaires

While Michigan’s most wealthy tend to get the hagiography treatment from the mainstream press, MT isn’t afraid to punch up. etroit’s demigod, a cover story by Ryan Felton looking at Quicken Loans’ role in the subprime mortgage crisis, freaked owner an Gilbert’s lawyers so much that they came after us; while the story was temporarily pulled o ine for re iew, it went back up without any ma or re isions. n witter, Gilbert has even taken a cue from buddy Donald Trump and sparred with the media, including MT. We’ve also taken the late anuel atty oroun to task o er issues concerning his Ambassador Bridge and anyway, which other local outlet would have the cajones to caricature Moroun as Mr. Burns from The Simpsons?

We go there

n the topic of daring art, we’re damn proud of some of our eye-grabbing co ers, including the pirit of etroit as a ity am from asbro’s peration board game for urt uyette’s bankruptcy autopsy natomy of a takeo er,

EMPLOYMENT Product Team Director-Drives, Brose North America, Auburn Hills, MI. Plan, lead &supervise Drive Business Unit (mechatronic motor drive) product dvlpmt for N.A. Region, incldg cooling fan modules, electric power steering/ HVAC/ brake sys actuation/ drivetrain &transmission shift motors, electric oil pumps, &electric climate compressor syss, to be delivered to U.S. psgr vehicle &Tier 1 suppliers for U.S. &global markets. Define &set technical objectives, &lead &mentor team of 2 Engrs, 1 Technician, 2 Engrg Mgrs, who supervise 14 (Engineer &Designers &Technicians). Define regional product strategy &align w/ regional bus. units &customer teams w/ functional strategy to support productionization &delivery of proprietary drive products. Interpret &analyze customer technical product performance &durability reqmts &ensure mechatronic motor drives meet &exceed internal &external reqmts &standards incldg thermal resistance; mechanical strength; hydraulic performance; cleanliness; &leak tightness. Bachelor, Mechanical, Automotive, or Mechatronics Engrg. 36 mos exp as Engineer, interpreting &analyzing OEM customer technical product performance &durability reqmts &ensuring mechatronic motor drives meet reqmts &standards incldg thermal resistance; mechanical strength; hydraulic performance; cleanliness; &leak tightness, &confirming concept designs &specs of mechatronic motor drives, or related. Mail resume to Ref#4420, Brose, Human Resources, 3933 Automation Ave, Auburn Hills, MI 48326.

and GOP gubernatorial hopeful Bill chuette as a horror film ombie in

.

Going bankrupt

etroit’s record setting municipal bankruptcy was foreshadowed in the pages of Metro Times. “Everything must go a all hands on deck effort — took a look at assets the city could possibly unload in a garage sale to help get it out of the red, including elle sle and even the famous Memorial to Joe ouis, aka he ist, which we learned was actually owned by the . ndeed, as part of the bankruptcy, the city did eventually lease Belle sle to the state under a year agreement, and at one point the city’s emergency manager even considered selling off items from the ’s collection.

du Nain ouge parade, etroiters would chase the little creature, and bad ibes, out of town. Thanks to the help of academics and even paranormal investigator John E.L. Tenney (of Unsolved ysteries fame , ee e ito showed in a 6 co er story aising Nain that casting Nain as a demon was a misreading of the original tale, which warned

Awesome alumni

or many local writers, MT was the first place to gi e them a chance, while others were already superstars who deigned to grace us with their talents. An incomplete of some the most notable names to write for this rag include, but are not limited to, filmmaker ichael oore, former etroit mayor en ockrel Jr., Ms. maga ine editor elen ia, reep columnists Nancy affer and John arlisle aka etroitblogger John , Elle features director Melissa Giannini, rinosophes co owner ebecca a ei, and 6 s icons John and eni inclair.

Reporting behind bars

ystery meat, a co er story written by an anonymous writer locked up in akland ounty Jail, ga e an on-the-ground report of the abysmal meals ser ed up by contractor ramark, which had recently made headlines for ser ing rotten, maggot-infested food. While our writer was spared from such indignities, he did report on what it’s actually like to survive behind bars on ramark’s meager offerings, peppering the longform piece with inventive recipes made from commissary food. t was widely read.

Fighting for home

llie ross’s No ember article ut from Under, a sprawling , plus word story that combined video to detail one etroit family’s fight to win their house back in the Wayne County foreclosure auction, earned 6 est eature ward from the Association of Alternative Newsmedia and was included in The Atlantic’s list of lightly ore than ceptional orks of Journalism. Gross would again combine longform writing and ideo in he throwaways, a January 6 piece that looked at the cycle of poverty and violence faced by transgender women in Detroit.

Standing up for the little guy

n , some well meaning etroiters revived the legend of the Nain Rouge — a folkloric dwarf said to be a harbinger of bad fortune and believed to be traced back to the time of founder Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac. With the new Marche

14 December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021 | metrotimes.com

a panic around the same time, o . Gretchen Whitmer declared a public health emergency o er nicotine aping, citing a rise in teen use, and ichigan became the first state to ban fla ored e cigarettes. t soon became apparent that the illness was linked to black-market cannabis vaping — not e-cigarettes — but many in the mainstream media continued to conflate the two issues. e didn’t, because we vape … cannabis and nicotine.) A blog post pointing out this simple fact remains one of the top-read MT stories of all time, and te e Nea ling and ee e ito e panded upon it for an ctober co er story.

that bad luck would come from offending him. erhaps silly, but what other local outlet would dedicate a cover story to setting the record straight here?

Riot or rebellion?

One value of the alternative press is to challenge the mainstream media’s account of history. Case in point: Detroit’s bloody 6 ci il uprising, commonly called a riot by the mainstream, but often referred to as a rebellion or uprising in the pages of MT. We even dedicated a th anni ersary co er story to an alternati e iew of the history in .

Detroit’s landlord crackdown problem

n ugust story by iolet konomova on the shortcomings of Detroit’s slumlord crackdown — including concerns that it would lead to higher rents and massive displacement — proved prescient. Every one of the problems outlined presented itself, and the city eventually shelved the program.

Clearing the air on vaping

ast year, a mysterious and deadly respiratory illness linked to vaping caused

We are literally responsible for human lives

hanks to the pre dating app, alt weekly heyday of classified ads from the ’ s through the early s, MT helped untold numbers of people find true love. (Or at the very least someone who shared their particular fetishes.) hat means that it’s no e aggeration to point out that some of you wouldn’t e en e ist if not for MT.

Here’s to another 40… we hope!

The impact of the pandemic has hit MT particularly hard. You can support local journalism by joining our Press Club. ee metrotimes.com upport ocalJournalism to learn more. pecial thanks to former MT staffers on illiams, . im eron, ichael Jackman, arry abriel, urt uyette, ebecca a ei, rian mith, ill oldship, and erb oyd for their help and mentorship over the years (and to those who helped choosing stories for this list , and thanks to the many people who have worked on this altweekly over the years. We wouldn’t still be here today without you.


MUSIC

The best of the worst

The best new music that got us through the worst fucking year ever By Jerilyn Jordan

The year is 2020. It’s February and all eyes are on two dazzling, agedefying, and very bendy Latina women at a football game. Of course we’re referring to Shakira and J.Lo’s Super Bowl LIV performance, in which the “Hips Don’t Lie” singer and Jenny from the block appeared in shimmering, barely-there costuming as they tapped each other out to perform high-octane medleys of their respective hits, including J.Lo’s 1999 club banger “Waiting for Tonight.” And then, after some booty-shaking, came the brief introduction of illuminated dome cages strewn across the football field containing children in all white, an obvious statement against the president’s immigration policies, which separated thousands of families at the border and placing many in deplorable detainment centers. Even in pre-pandemic times, 2020 was

gearing up for some shit. The signs were there at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florida, which, for a moment, may have been, unbeknownst to us, our last chance at fantasy. But the clues that things were off appeared again days later when Detroit’s own Eminem curiously showed up at the 92nd annual Academy Awards to perform a song he won an Oscar for — but didn’t show up to receive — 17 years prior. And, as news reports would later show, while Em was taking us back to 2003 with mom’s spaghetti for no real reason, COVID-19 was spreading faster than the flurry of dislike buttons smashing on YouTube elicited by that fucking god awful celebrity rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine” that was meant to, well, we dont know what it was meant to do other than to remind every Joe Schmoe that no amount of imagination

would make a single $1,200 check during a national crisis make sense. In 2020, we may not have been able to hang with the best bad guy we know, Billie Eilish, at Little Caesars Arena, nor would we get to bask in the “Blinding Lights” of sad boi extraordinaire The Weekend, thrash with Bikini Kill at Royal Oak Music Theatre, roll with the homies at Movement, or cut ourselves to Phoebe Bridgers at Mo Pop. But what we got, in the face of uncertainty — and the deaths of musical powerhouses Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard, Kenny Rogers, John Prine, Adam Schlesinger among them — is nothing short of a miracle. We got music, baby. Lots of really good music that provided comfort, excitement, and much-needed disruption. Cue up some of these tunes or, you know, fuck it and listen to your favorite album from 2004 on repeat for days

because no one is going to stop you. If anything, our favorite music this year has us, dare we say, excited about what’s to come in 2021. This is the way.

1. Fiona Apple | Fetch the Bolt Cutters “This world is bullshit,” a 20-year-old Fiona Apple told the star-packed teen dream crowd during the 1997 MTV VMAs after she had just landed recognition for Best New Artist, a sentiment that would carry through her limited catalogue, including this year’s jarring, soul-opening, percussive, and dog bark filled triumph, Fetch the Bolt Cutters. “Kick me under the table all you want/I won’t shut up,” she warns on “Under the Table,” setting a general tone for the record her first in eight years, which was recorded in the singer’s Venice Beach home, where she

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and three musicians (and Cara Delevingne) used pots, pans, and, as can be heard on the album’s title track, dog barks. ogs addie, ercy, eo, lfie, and Little are credited in the album’s liner notes for their “backing barks, thrashing, and collar jangles.”) The record, a restless reckoning of trauma, shitty relationships, childhood allies (hi, Shameika!), and female solidarity in the face of infidelity was set to be released in the fall but, Apple, in true Apple fashion, said fuck it and released it early as a comfort to her isolated fans and as a way to free herself from press related obligations down the line. nd know none of this will matter in the long run ut know a sound is still a sound around no one,” she sings on “I Want You To Love Me.” We do love you, iona, and we fucking hear you. Listen to: “Shameika” Use this lyric to break out of your own mental prison but not pandemic mandated isolation: “Fetch the bolt cutters /I’ve been in here too long” | “Fetch the Bolt Cutters”

2. Taylor Swift | Folklore and Evermore (Tie)

Perhaps the biggest surprise of 2020 — that’s right, we said biggest is not the surprise release of two aylor wift records but that both Folklore (released in July) and its sister, Evermore (released in December) are basically masterclasses in expanding upon a sonic universe. On the pair of records, both written and recorded in isolation, each with their own thematic swells, invisible strings, cottagecore energies, and ancestral storytelling, wift has clearly shaken off her hea y polished pop crown in e change for an old, musty ass cardigan that we cannot stop hu ng. , so admittedly it’s a little upsetting to see aylor wift records labeled “alternative” as Apple Music has categorized Folklore and Evermore (it’s not like she’s a known shapeshifter like Miley Cyrus), but her clever placement of words shit and fuck and recruitment of producer Jack ntonoff, collaborator Aaron Dessner (The National) and on er’s Justin ernon, who appears on two duets across both records, is a game-changing move for an artist who is being forced to re record and reimagine almost her entire catalog of music after record mogul Scooter Braun sold the rights to her masters. “To put it plainly, we ust couldn’t stop writing songs, wift wrote ahead of Evermore’s surprise release. While both records have their standout moments (“cardigan,” “seven,” and “invisible string” on Folklore and “‘tis the damn season,” ”tolerate it,” and “marjorie” on Evermore) the records are not interchangeable, nor does Evermore (or as the L.A.

Times’ Mikael Wood calls it, Use Your Seclusion II) feel like a rush job or a record of B-sides parading around as a wannabe Folklore. In fact, they might just be the best albums of her career. In fact, we know they are. Listen to: “‘tis the damn season” | Evermore Use this lyric when embattled with a skeezy record exec holding more than a decade’s worth of your music catalog hostage: “What did you think I’d say to that oes a scorpion sting when fighting back hey strike to kill, and you know will ou know will “Mad Woman” from Folklore

3. Phoebe Bridgers | Punisher

“I call it ‘Fucklore,” Phoebe Bridgers captioned a behind-the-scenes photo from a recent music ideo shoot with director, actress, and screenwriter hoebe Waller-Bridge, a collaboration that happened via email. It’s not that Bridgers, the icy-haired songstress and CEO of her addest actory ecords who managed to promote one of the best records of the year wearing a skeleton printed onesie from her bedroom, is the anti aylor wift. t’s that she speaks to millennial dread in a way that feels truly irreparably messy, not like, whoa, my French braid is so disheveled and I sent a baby gift to my e kind of way sorry, aylor, we clearly lo e you . n Punisher, ridgers’ first solo follow up since her stirring 2017 debut, Stranger in the Alps she dropped an as boygenius with Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus in 2018 and a collaboration with onor berst as their group, Better Oblivion Community Center last year), the daring 26-year-old confidently took us on a hushed ourney through yoto, feelings of imposter syndrome, a world where lliott mith is still ali e, and a fear of god you know, the usual shit. For a record that references the idea of a Punisher, an industry term used by musicians to describe o erbearing fans who push for photos, autographs, conversation, and connection, ridgers poses the uestion re we the punished or the punisher? At some point, it might be uncool to fangirl over ridgers kind of the same way it’s now very cool to fangirl over alternative artist aylor wift , but ridgers will be the first to let us know when that happens. Listen to: “Moon Song” Use this lyric on your dating profile “But I’m too tired to have a pissing contest/All the bad dreams that you hide/ how me yours, ’ll show you mine “Savior Complex”

4. Rina Sawayama | SAWAYAMA

If you put ’90s Alanis Morissette, early 2000s Evanescence, hard Britney and hristina, orn, estiny’s hild, and a light sprinkling of Final Fantasy in

16 December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021 | metrotimes.com

a musical blender, you might get but a teaspoon of the fla or dished out on ina awayama’s bold and untouchable debut record, which might well be the year’s most exciting release. Sure, at first listen awayama might feel like a bundle of ironic kitsch, but behind the album’s sonic pocketless low rise eans and chunky highlights is a complex nu metal pop forward tale of intergenerational trauma, the pains of casual and systemic racism awayama is a Japanese Brit), ageism (she’s 30), and taking risks as evidenced by “Snakeskin,” “STFU,” “Paradisin.” Though Rina bas been putting out singles, EPs, and remixes since 2013, dropping a turn-of-the-millenium intergalactic R&B-sounding self-titled EP in 2017 that addressed phone fatigue, FOMO, and social isolation, on her debut fulllength, she’s finally the fully actuali ed person she described on the 2017’s “Cyber Stockholm Syndrome”: “I am the girl you want to watch. ro tip atch the video for “STFU.”) Listen to: “Who’s Gonna Save You Now Use this lyric on 2020’s headstone: “Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up (You)/Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up (Uh huh, shh)/Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up (You, I see you)/Shut the fuck up (Uh huh, shh)” | “STFU”

5. Adrianne Lenker | songs

o e eryone who has gotten to know every house on their block during their mandatory daily masked an iety walks or who’ e come to appreciate decrepit garage doors and faded alley murals, or for those who’ e assigned names to each dog chained to neighbors’ back porches, Adrianne Lenker’s songs is for, well, all of us. or songs, the companion to this year’s instrumentals, the Big hief singer songwriter captured the intricacies of longing, isolation, nostalgia, and grief, in what feels like a gentle but persistent wa e lapping the shore, soaking through our boots. Recorded during the spring while a broken hearted enker locked herself away in a one room cabin nestled in the woods of Massachusetts, songs is not a sad and soggy boot sock. The 11-song record is basically a sweepingly descripti e meditation on sur i al, complete with a babbling brook, chittering birds and brutally gorgeous lines like this: “Sleep paralysis, sworn could’ e felt you there/And I almost could’ve kissed your hair ut the emptiness withdrew me rom any kind of wishful prayer. Listen to: “Anything” Use this lyric when you get that u up?” text: “As the coastline is shaped by the wind s we make lo e and you’re on my skin/You are changing me, you are changing” | “dragon eyes”

6. Megan Thee Stallion | Good News

Megan Thee Stallion really titled her debut record Good News just four months after being shot, and it’s perhaps one of the biggest fuck you’s in music. But the album’s opener, “Shots Fired,” a song that boldly samples Biggie’s “Who Shot Ya?” and addresses the incident that occured in July in which ory ane shot the Houston rapper in the foot, might go down in the pantheon of great diss tracks. Since being denied a hot girl summer (I’m talking about us, Meg is four seasons of hot), Good News represents what the year could ha e been wet ’n’ wild. The self-proclaimed “Hood Mona Lisa’’ didn’t try to reinvent raunchy hiphop on Good News (though it could be argued that her collab with ardi ia . . . was, in fact, a barrier breaker . ut that’s what makes it so pure. , it’s weird to call a record that boasts lyrics like, “I’ma make him eat me out while ’m watchin’ anime ussy like a wild fo , lookin’ for a asuke or “Let you put your hook in my bumper like a repo” pure, but in 2020, lyrics like “Deeper, deeper, I need a reaper/ hought was in trouble how he tearin’ them cheeks up’’ feel like gospel.) While her debut studio record preaches body positi ity and a whole lot of se ual agency, a few things missing that would’ e taken the record from Good News to reat News like some one on one alone time with eg and maybe a sprinkling of the other things she stands for. In the past year, she’s launched a scholarship fund for women of color, penned an editorial about the importance of protecting lack women, and used her October performance on Saturday Night Live as an opportunity to protest the Breonna Taylor ruling. egardless, we know that this record is a bold new step for an artist coming into her own. Listen to: hat’s New Use this lyric to caption your Top Nine on your fucked-up year-end Instagram post ullet wounds, backstabs ama died, still sad t war with myself in my head itch, it’s aghdad New nigga tryna come around and play clean nd my clothes fit tight, but my heart need a seamstress” | “Circles”

HO NO R A B LE MENTI O NS: Tim Heidecker | Fear of Death No Home | Fucking Hell The Weeknd | After Hours Laura Marling | Songs for My Daughter Rufus Wainwright | Unfollow the Rules Miley Cyrus | Plastic Hearts Soccer Mommy | color theory Waxahatchee | Saint Cloud Dua Lipa | Future Nostalgia


FAVO R I TE LO CA L S I N GL ES , E PS, A N D A L B U M S ( I N N O PA R TI C U L A R O R DER) Protomartyr | Ultimate Success Today

Capitalism, late-stage capitalism, police brutality, ICE, greedy billionaires, and a society “pulled apart by the absence of what sustains us” are no match for etroit post punk outfit Protomartyr, whose philosophical, gloom steeped, and a y fifth studio record, Ultimate Success Today, is masterfully designed for people who don’t have room in their brains for the bright side. So, us, basically. And, like, all of the time. Anyway, Ultimate Success Today, which is probably the best “rock” record of the year, isn’t about injecting hopelessness where hope should go; rather, it wraps the listener up in a weighted blanket of radical honesty, acceptance, and fear. “Remember me, how I lived. I was frightened, always frightened,” Joe Casey eulogizes on “Worm in Heaven,” the album’s swelling closer that softens the blow of impending doom and the inevitable impermanence of most things. “When the ending comes, is it going to run at us like a wild-eyed animal? A foreign disease washed up on the beach? A dagger plunged from out the

shadows?” Casey (who sounds a lot like the Clash’s Joe Strummer here) poses on “Processed by the Boys,” a song that indicts servants like police and ICE, as well as facial-recognition technology. “Tattoos of their children, so cool, so nice/This time will be gentle enough, gentle enough Ne t time will be different, different. ere’s hoping. Listen to: “Modern Business Hymns”

Sara Marie Barron | Existential Glam

hen we reflect on , the ad ecti es sensual and soulful absolutely do not come to mind. But R&B bedroom pop singer-songwriter Sara Marie Barron and her sophomore LP, Existential Glam, are the sonic equivalent of a candle-lit bubble bath. And underneath the rich, jazz-infused production and Barron’s serene and sultry vocals is a shimmering bath bomb of anxiety, uncertainty, and self-doubt. Instead of letting herself drown in them, Barron floats abo e the bullshit, especially on “Silence” (feat. Jonathan Franco) and “Law Degree.” Described by Barron as “going to dinner with Amy Winehouse and Sade, but then getting drinks with Britney after,” Existential Glam could be perceived as a break-up/make-up record as much as it could be a warning to future lovers: “Don’t bother me, I won’t bother

you.” Girl! Listen to: “Reputation”

GMac Cash | “Big Gretch”

There’s only one GMac Cash — the Detroit rapper whose straight-fromthe-headlines rhymes almost always go Michigan viral — and this year, he outdid himself. First, with “Coronavirus” an earworm that pulled double duty as a PSA for handwashing and staying safe at the crib. Then came “Big Gretch,” a track that bestowed Michigan Gov. Gretchen hitmer with her first real nickname and also defended her hardcore stay-athome order early on in the pandemic. In the track, Cash imagines presenting Whitmer with Detroit’s equivalent of a Medal of Honor or the ultimate stamp of approval from those in the Detroit community in support of her efforts to keep Michiganders safe from the coronavirus: a pair of artier’s cor white buffalo horn frames, aka uffs. On “Big Gretch,” GMac takes swipes at POTUS and those who protested Gretch’s orders: “All that protesting was irrelevant/Big Gretch ain’t trying to hear y’all or the president/How we gon’ take orders from a non-resident?/Talking about ‘It’s safe,’ but he ain’t coming with the evidence.” Oh, and GMac formally invites Big Gretch to the cookout. Though he raised money to get

ig retch her own pair of uffs she couldn’t accept them as a gift so she asked GMac to spend the money on the community; he agreed and donated the , to New ra etroit she did sport a borrowed pair for a video as a nod to GMac. What GMac accomplished this year was that he is far more dynamic than his parody/novelty rapper label lets on, a label earned through his prolific — and often joke-y — catalog, which tackles everything from cockroaches at Popeye’s, Trump’s lame-ass stimulus check, paying bills, tracking the ETA of his weed dealer, lemon-pepper seasoning, drag racing on the Lodge, and dissing people with Android phones. Following the success of “Big Gretch,” however, GMac penned the track “Justice for Ahmaud” — dedicated to Ahmaud Arbery, the unarmed Black man slain by two white men — one of whom was a retired lawenforcement o cer while ogging in his Georgia neighborhood in February. The song, like most of his tracks, took just an hour or so to write and about the same amount of time to record. With “Big Gretch” — catchy, funny, and urgent — GMac proved this year that not only can he write, rhyme, and rap, but he can be a mirror of positivity in an unkind world.

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CULTURE Q : One of my very close friends,

a lesbian, has been married for a couple of years now. It’s been nothing but drama since the day they met. My friend had a terrible home life growing up and doesn’t understand stability. She also has zero self-conMy a a constantly calling the cops on each other, getting restraining orders, and then always breaking them and getting back together. I told her that if she likes this drama, that’s one thing. It’s another if my friend got dragged into it and doesn’t want to live this way! But she cannot seem to quit their relationship. My friend tells me, “Lesbian relationships are drama” and says I don’t get it because I’m “so damn straight.” Two questions: Are all lesbian relationships drama? And can you explain the whole “price of admission” thing again? It might help to open my friend’s eyes to how unacceptable this shit is. She says she wants out, but she also wants to be loved and doesn’t think it would be any better with someone else. —Don’t Really Accept Melodramatic Actions

A : If that lesbian friend of yours

isn’t willing to listen to you because you’re straight, DRAMA, she’s not going to listen to my gay ass. So I shared your email with three lesbian friends of mine — think of them as a threemember circuit court of lesbian appeals — in the hopes that your lesbian would listen to their asses. “Are lesbian relationships drama?” asks Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo, the executive director of the HUMP! Film Festival. “No. Maybe lesbian relationships are high intensity. The shared experience of being gay, being women, communicating too much about everything — I mean, the U-Haul jokes resonate for a reason. However, big feelings and big commitments don’t mean big drama. In my own experience, lesbian drama involves disagreeing about how many coats of paint are needed on a bathroom wall or one person wanting to fuck when the other wants to watch The Crown. It’s not normal for lesbian relationship ‘drama’ to require 911 calls, and it’s definitely not for said drama to look like a cycle of violence or result in trauma. Don’t confuse drama for passion.” “I’m not sure lesbian relationships are any more drama than any other relationships, says atie er og, freelance dog ball journalist (really) and cohost of the Blocked and Reported podcast, “but

considering the surprisingly high rates of intimate partner violence in lesbian relationships, they might actually be. Still, just because some lesbian relationships are drama doesn’t mean that all lesbian relationships are drama. Personally, I was involved in my fair share of soap operas as a young dyke, including once dating a woman who said she was possessed by a demon. (She was — the demon was coke.) But as an adult, the biggest drama in my relationship is The Undoing on unday nights on . Either way, DRAMA’s friend’s relationship sounds unhealthy, and that’s not a lesbian thing.” “Drama is saying your ex looked cute the last time you saw them on your current’s birthday,” says Cameron Esposito, the comedian and host of the podcast Queery. “Lesbian drama is saying that while watching The L Word: Generation Q. Seems more like DRAMA’s pal may be in a cycle of abuse — using the clues of police, restraining orders, and a feeling that one cannot do better. From my own experience, abuse isn’t something a friend can stop, and DRAMA’s best option here may be to suggest a support group perhaps offer to attend with her — and then lovingly detach from fi ing this. Not because doesn’t care, but because we cannot control the lives of the ones we love.” Thank you for your service, lesbians, I’ll take it from here. , , ’ll e plain the price of admission” concept: You see, there are always gonna be things about someone that get on your nerves and/or certain needs a romantic partner cannot meet — sexual or emotional — but if they’re worth it, if that person has other qualities or strengths that compensate for their inability to, say, fill the dishwasher correctly or their disinterest in butt stuff, then cleaning up after dinner or going without anal is the price of admission you have to pay to be with that person. And those are reasonable prices to pay. But putting up with abuse — physical or emotional — isn’t a price that anyone should pay to be in a relationship. And the price of admission doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships, DRAMA. So if putting up with this drama isn’t a price you’re willing to pay to be friends with this woman, you can refuse to pay it — meaning, you have every right to end this friendship if drama is all you’re getting out of it. Ending the friendship might actually help your lesbian friend. People who confuse drama for passion often get off on having an audience, DRAMA, and

18 December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021 | metrotimes.com

Savage Love By Dan avage

always being available for a friend like that — always making yourself available for their drama — can have the opposite of its intended effect. o by dropping everything and rushing to your friend’s side every time the shit hits the fan could be creating a perverse incentive for your friend to stay in this shitty relationship. In cases like this, DRAMA, detaching — like Cameron suggested — isn’t just the right thing to do for yourself but the right thing to do for your friend, as well. Because once she sees there’s no audience, she might decide to end the show. ollow atie er og on witter itty urr og and read her dog ball journalism at moosenuggets.substack.com. Follow Cameron Esposito on Twitter @CameronEsposito. You can’t follow Tracey “Peaches” Cataldo on Twitter — because she isn’t on Twitter — but you can make and submit a film for U nfo on submitting a film to U can be found at humpfilmfest.com submit.)

Q : I’m a 35-year-old gay cis woman

in New Jersey. I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with an amazing woman since April. In typical lesbian fashion, she moved in over the summer and we’ve been inseparable ever since. My problem is that my sister and her 9-year-old son have been living in my home for the last four years. She has a ton of drama with her ex — her son’s father — and just this past week my girlfriend had her rst interaction it t e De artment of Children and Family Services because of their drama. I’m used to it at this point, but it freaked my girlfriend out. When I purchased my home, I invited my sister to move in to help her get on her feet. It also meant I could try for a closer relationship with my nephew. She was going to nis er nursing degree so s e could support herself and her son. Four years later, she’s still an LPN and still living in my home with her bad attitude and so much drama. Last night, she had a huge argument with my girlfriend while I was at work — I’m an ICU nurse and I work overnight — and she told my GF that I don’t spend enough time with her or her son since we started dating and she’s sad because she has no help, no friends, no blah blah blah. I need to cut the cord! I want a family and kids of my own, and I’m planning to propose in the next few months. I love my sister, I do,

JOE NEWTON

and for years I’ve been there to help pick up the pieces from her shitty choices, but now is my time to prioritize myself and my happiness. How do I make her see that without making her feel like I’m abandoning her and her son? —Worried And Perplexed

A : Even if there was some way to ask

your sister to move out that didn’t make her feel like you were abandoning her and her son, WAP, she would still do everything in her power to make you feel like you were abandoning them. She knows that if she can make you feel bad enough, and if she can sow enough discord between you and your girlfriend, she won’t have to get her own place or stand on her own two feet. So brace yourself for a lot of drama, WAP, and be unambiguous and firm set a reasonable date for her to find her own place, offer whate er financial help you reasonably can, and make sure your nephew has your number. It sounds like he’s going to need someplace safe to run away to in a year or two — or in a month or two — and here’s hoping your girlfriend has it in her heart to be there for him the way you have. Cameron Esposito is hosting an online party on December 31 at 6 p.m. (PST) — Cameron Esposito’s New Year’s Steve — with special sets, guests, and an early ball drop t’s free but donations are welcome. For more info and tickets to Cameron’s show, head over to dynastytypewriter.com. Questions? mail@savagelove.net. Follow Dan on itter akeDan avage. ore information at savagelovecast.com.


metrotimes.com | December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021

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20 December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021 | metrotimes.com


metrotimes.com | December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021

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CULTURE

Free Will Astrology B y R ob B rezsny connection to the Supreme Intelligence, I suggest you address the same prayer to your Higher Self or F uture B eauty or whatever source of sublime inspiration you hold most dear.

ARIES: March 21 – April 19 Author J orge L uis B orges carried on a long lo e a air with books. He read thousands of them, wrote more than 2 0 of them, and further postulated the ex istence of numerous imaginary books that were never actually written. Of all the writers who roused his adoration, a certain R ussian novelist was among the most beloved. B orges wrote, “ L ike the discovery of love, like the discovery of the sea, the discovery of F yodor Dostoevsky marks an important date in one’s life.” I’m wondering if you’ll ex perience one of these pivotal discoveries in 2 0 2 1 . I strongly suspect so. It may not be the work of Dostoevsky, but I bet it will have an impact close to those of your original discoveries of love and the sea. TAURUS: April 20 – May 20 V ietnamese-American novelist V iet T hanh N guyen has won numerous awards for his work, including the P ulitzer P rize. Here are his views about the nature of accomplishment: “ W e don’t succeed or fail because of fortune or luck. W e succeed because we understand the way the world works and what we have to do. W e fail because others understand this better than we do.” I bring these thoughts to your attention, T aurus, because I think that in 2 0 2 1 you will have an ex traordinary potential to enhance your understanding of how the world works and what you must do to take advantage of that. T his could be the year you become both smarter and wiser. GEMINI: May 21 – June 20 Modern civilization has not spread to every corner of the planet. T here are at least 1 0 0 tribes that inhabit their own private realms, isolated from the invasive sprawl of our manic, frantic in uence ong these encla es any are in the Amazon rainforests, W est P apua, and the Andaman Islands. I have a theory that many of us civilized people would love to nurture inner q ualities akin to those ex pressed by indigenous people: hidden away from the mad world; content to be free of the noise and frenzy; and living in attunement with natural rhythms. In 2 0 2 1 , I hope you’ll give special care and attention to cultivating this part of you. CANCER: June 21 – July 22 Hurricane Maria struck the Caribbean island of Dominica in 2 0 1 6 . Scientists studied two local species of anole lizards both before and after the natural disaster. T hey were amazed to find that the li ards a ter the hurricane had super-strong grips compared to their predecessors. T he creatures were better able to hold onto rocks and

JAMES NOELLERT

perches so as to avoid being swept away by high winds. T he researchers’ conclusion? It’s an ex ample of one of the most rapid rates of evolutionary change ever recorded. I bring this to your attention, Cancerian, because I suspect that you, too, will have the power to evolve and transform at an ex pedited pace in 2 0 2 1 — in response to positive events as much as to challenging events. LEO: July 23 – August 22 I hope that in 2 0 2 1 you’ll spend a lot of time meditating on your strongest longings. Are they in harmony with your highest ideals, or not? Do they energize you or drain you? Are they healthy and holy, or are they unhealthy or unholy — or somewhere in between those two ex tremes? Y ou’ll be wise to re-evaluate all your burning, churning yearnings, L eo — and decide which ones are in most righteous service to your life goals. And as for those that are in fact noble and liberating and invigorating, nurture them with all your tender ingenuity! VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22 “ Y ou can’t move mountains by whispering at them,” says singer-songwriter P ink. Strictly speaking, you can’t move mountains by shouting at them either. B ut in a metaphorical sense, P ink is ex actly right. Mild-mannered, low-key req uests are not likely to precipitate movement in obstacles that resemble solid rock. And that’s my oracle for you in the coming months, V irgo. As you carry out the project of relocating or crumbling a certain mountain, be robust and spirited — and, if necessary, very loud.

22 December 30, 2020-January 13, 2021 | metrotimes.com

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 In his masterpiece the M ona Lisa, L eonardo da V inci applied 3 0 layers of paint that were no thicker than a single human hair. Can you imagine the patience and concentration that req uired? I’m going to propose that you be inspired by his approach as you carry out your big projects in the coming year. I think you’ll have the potential to create at least one labor of love that’s monumentally subtle and soulful. SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 Climate change is proceeding with such speed in central Mex ico that entire forests are in danger of perishing. In the hills near E jido L a Mesa, for instance, the eather is getting too hot or the fir trees that shelter millions of monarch butteries e ery all n response local people have joined with scientists to physically o e the fir orest to a higher cooler elevation. W hat might be your personal eq uivalent, Scorpio: an ambitious plan to carry out an idealistic yet practical project? According to my analysis of your astrological potentials, you’ll have a lot of energy to work on such a scheme in 2 0 2 1 . SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 Author Gé rard de N erval ( 1 8 0 8 – 1 8 55) made the following observation: “ I do not ask of God that he should change anything in events themselves, but that he should change me in regard to things, so that I might have the power to create my own universe, to govern my dreams, instead of enduring them.” If you have a relationship with the Divine W ow, that will be a perfect prayer for you to say on a regular basis in 2 0 2 1 . If you don’t have a

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 T he mathematically oriented website W aitB utW hy.com says that the odds of winning a mega lottery can be compared to this scenario: Y ou know that a certain hedgehog will sneeze just one time in the nex t six years, and you place a big bet that this sneeze will take place at ex actly the 3 6 th second of 1 2 : 0 5 p.m. nex t J anuary 2 0 . In other words, W aitB utW hy.com declares, your chances of winning that lottery are very small. B ut while their analysis is true in general, it may not be completely applicable to you in 2 0 2 1 . T he likelihood of you choosing the precise moment for the hedgehog’s sneeze will be higher than usual. More realistically and importantly, your chances for generating positi e financial luc through hard work and foresight will be much higher than usual. AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Author Anais N in was supremely adaptable, eager to keep growing, and receptive when life nudged her to leave the past behind and ex pand her understanding. At the same time, she was clear about what she wanted and determined to get what she wanted. Her complex attitude is summed up in the following q uote: “ If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is compromise.” I hope you will heed her counsel throughout 2 0 2 1 . ( Here’s another q uote from N in: “ Had I not created my whole world, I would certainly have died in other people’s.” ) PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20 In 2 0 1 3 , workers at a clothing manufacturing plant in Gazipur, B angladesh, staged a mass protest. Did they demand a pay raise or better health benefits ere they lobbying or air conditioning or longer lunch breaks? N one of the above. In fact, they had just one urgent stipulation: to dispel the ghost that was haunting the factory. I’ve got a similar entreaty for you in 2 0 2 1 , P isces. I req uest that you ex orcise any and all ghosts that have been preventing you from fully welcoming in and embracing the future. T hese ghosts may be purely metaphorical in nature, but you still need to be forceful in banishing them. This week’s homework: Has anything in your life changed for the better during the pandemic? What? F reeWillA strology. com


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