Orlando Weekly - January 4, 2023

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4 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com NEWS+VIEWS 7 The Year in Review Our Informed Dissent columnist with a national news roundup for 2022 9 The Year in Review The most important Orlando stories of 2022, plus a list of the stories you actually read in 2022 13 The Year in Review Snapshots of Orlando nightlife in 2022 ARTS+ CULTURE 15 Live Active Cultures A look back at a tumultuous year of triumph, tragedy and transformation in Orlando’s theaters and theme parks FOOD+ DRINK 17 Top Tables The five best restaurants that opened in 2022 21 Top Tastes Our best bites of the year FILM+ MUSIC 23 On (small) screens What’s new on Netflix, Hulu, etc. this week 25 This Little Underground It’s time for the Undie Awards, honoring some of the most superlative things that happened this year in Orlando music BACK PAGES 26 The Week Plenty of event listings to finish this year and ring in the new 29 Savage Love Dan Savage’s relationship advice, plus ‘Ripley’s Believe It or Not!’ 31 Classified advertisements Florida Group Publisher Graham Jarrett Editor in Chief Jessica Bryce Young Editorial Managing Editor Matthew Moyer Digital Content Editor Alex Galbraith Calendar Coordinator Kristin Howard Editorial Interns Ariadna Ampudia, Valerie Galarza, Gabby Macogay Contributors Gianna Aceto, Rob Bartlett, Melissa Perez Carrillo, J.D. Casto, Ida
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6 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

The 10 most important American political stories of 2022: Part Two

In the first part of our annual lazy columnist’s end-ofyear listicle spectacular (published in last week’s issue, Dec. 28), we discussed the end of abortion rights, the nonexistent red wave, the collapse of Donald Trump, the Russia problem and inflation.

Now that you’re all caught up, here’s Part Deux.

6. The Inflation Reduction Act

The remnants of President Joe Biden’s Build Back Better program got a Joe Manchin-approved name and squeaked through the Senate in August, giving the president a muchneeded positive news cycle.

The IRA invested nearly $400 billion into clean energy through tax incentives, loan guarantees and grants. It also extended enhanced Affordable Care Act subsidies for three years and lowered drug costs for Medicare recipients, while trimming $237 billion from the deficit over a decade. (Notice the word “inflation” anywhere in there?)

The IRA is not the Green New Deal. But combined with the CHIPS & Science Act, the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law and the Covid relief law, it made Biden’s first two years among the most productive in modern history.

7. The Jan. 6 Committee

Rep. Liz Cheney lost her job and wrote the first line of her obituary.

Cheney is one of two Republicans on the House committee investigating the Jan. 6 insurrection. Throughout the year, she and her colleagues have laid bare Donald Trump’s plan to interfere in the certification of Biden’s election using absurd legal theories and ultimately incendiary shenanigans.

As of this writing — meaning, before your columnist signed off for the year — the committee was considering criminal referrals not just for Trump, but also for his chief of staff Mark Meadows, attorneys Rudy Giuliani and John Eastman, and former Department of Justice official Jeffrey Clark, who tried to make the DOJ an arm of Trump’s campaign in the administration’s waning months.

For Cheney’s disloyalty to Trump, congressional Republicans removed her from her leadership position, and Wyoming Republicans tossed her in the primary.

8. The woke war

In November, a gunman murdered five people at a drag show in Colorado Springs. Weeks later, some yahoos shot out power transformers the night of a drag show in Southern Pines, North Carolina, that had been the subject of some Bible-thumpers’ protests, casting the entire county into darkness. Doctors who treat transgender youth have faced death threats after being targeted by Libs of TikTok, Tucker Carlson and other right-wing hate-mongers. Republican legislatures have passed laws to prevent one or two trans girls from participating in scholastic sports.

No one rode this horse harder than Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis. His administration forbade using Medicaid to pay for gender-affirming health care and banned genderaffirming care for transgender teenagers. At his urging, the Florida Legislature passed the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, prohibiting teachers from discussing sexual orientation or gender identity “in a manner that is not age appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students.”

When Disney belatedly and halfheartedly objected (after the outrage of their heavily LGBTQ+ employee base),

DeSantis got his legislative sycophants to eliminate the Mouse’s special tax status, potentially costing neighboring Orange County billions of dollars. (Purely coincidental that Orange County is a blue drop in a red sea.) DeSantis’ press secretary Christina Pushaw said that anyone who opposed the bill was “probably a groomer.” She kept her job.

More than a dozen states have considered knock-off legislation.

Of course, the war against the woke went well beyond trans kids. Florida also passed the Individual Freedom Act, previously known as the Stop W.O.K.E. Act, which barred schools and colleges from teaching anything that might hurt white children’s feelings, and prohibited private companies from conducting diversity training. Calling the law “dystopian,” a federal judge has struck down the parts concerning higher education and businesses.

In a recent court hearing, DeSantis’ lawyer was asked to define the governor’s favorite epithet. “Woke,” his general counsel said, is “the belief there are systemic injustices in American society and the need to address them.” Definitely a threat to be stopped.

Speaking of threats: From January to August, the American Library Association tracked 681 attempts to ban or restrict access to more than 1,600 books and other library materials. Most of them featured characters of color or who were LGBTQ+.

9. Respect for Marriage Act

Moving on to important legislation that shouldn’t be necessary: the Respect for Marriage Act, which formally repealed the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act and codified same-sex (and interracial) marriage rights in case the Supreme Court jettisons more precedent in service of its far-right agenda.

The impetus wasn’t just the court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade and Casey v. Planned Parenthood, in which five justices found that the 14th Amendment’s Due Process clause did not include the right to abortion, contrary to 49 years of case law. It was, more specifically, Justice Clarence Thomas’ concurring opinion.

“In future cases,” Thomas wrote, “we should reconsider all of this Court’s substantive due process precedents, including Griswold, Lawrence and Obergefell.”

Griswold established the right to contraception access. Lawrence prohibited states from criminalizing same-sex relations. Obergefell legalized same-sex marriage. You can see why people might be nervous.

More than 190 Republicans voted against the Respect for Marriage Act.

10. Uvalde

On May 24, an 18-year-old fatally shot 19 students and two teachers, and injured 17 more, at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, while hundreds of cops stood in the parking lot for more than an hour.

As of this writing, it’s one of 15 mass shootings this year that have produced five or more fatalities, not including the gunman: Ten dead in a Buffalo supermarket. Seven dead in an Oklahoma murder-suicide. Six killed in a Walmart shooting. Six people killed in a Fourth of July parade in Illinois. Five dead in a California gang shootout. And so on.

In June, Biden signed the first “major” gun legislation in decades. It provides states with money for crisis intervention programs, including red flag laws, and made modest improvements to background check laws. But it banned no guns — not even assault rifles.

4-10,

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orlandoweekly.com ● JAN.
2023 ● ORLANDO
feedback@orlandoweekly.com 2022
Liz Cheney lost her job and wrote the first line of her obituary. [photo via Shutterstock]
8 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

The most important Orlando stories of 2022.

Plus a list of the stories we know you actually read.

Rent control

Orange County’s pre-doomed rent control ordinance “passed” when well over half the voters agreed that rent hikes need to be controlled, but — no surprise — the law was smothered in its crib. The ordinance would have covered less than half of rental units in Orange County, limiting them to a year-over-year hike that was tied to the change in the annual Consumer Price Index. Its place on the ballot came only after a narrow vote of the Orange County Commission, following months of contentious debate. Orlando has seen some of the worst increases in housing costs in the country, but that didn’t stop landlord/realty groups from successfully suing to block the ordinance. The Orange County Supervisor of Elections counted the votes, but the vote would ultimately not be certified.

Wages and unions

Central Florida, home to the so-called “Most Magical Place on Earth,” is one of the areas hardest hit by the nation’s unaffordable housing crisis, exacerbated by the economic fallout of COVID-19 and zero enforceable limits on the ability of landlords to price-gouge renter households (see above). Workers at Disney World say they make “an unlivable wage” for the area’s cost of living, and they’ve had enough. Amid

ongoing negotiations for a new contract in December, union members marched to draw attention to their request for an immediate $3 hourly pay raise. Disney generated a revenue of nearly $83 billion this year — $28.7 billion in the company’s theme park division alone — and Disney’s castmembers would like a little trickle-down. Meanwhile, 2022 saw the first steps toward unionization for Starbucks workers: More than 264 of Starbucks’ 9,000 corporate-owned stores in the United States have voted to unionize since last December, including one that’s local. Starbucks workers at the East Mitchell Hammock & City Plaza location in Oviedo voted to unionize in August, becoming the first in Central Florida to do so.

Redistricting

Florida Republicans added four U.S. House seats in the 2022 elections — and the big boost they got from Daddy DeSantis’ gerrymandering hijinks was a major driver. Gov. DeSantis pushed a radical redistricting map through the Legislature during an April special session, which was used in the elections amid constitutional challenges in federal and state courts. His plan was so aggressively rigged for the GOP that even the Republican-dominated Legislature balked at approving it, but DeSantis pushed it through anyway and kept

the challenges tied up in court until after the elections. Rep. Carlos Guillermo Smith, a local leader who’s been battling for LGBTQ and immigrants’ rights in Tallahassee for years, lost his seat when he was shunted into a new, differently mapped district. DeSantis’ office has publicly stated that partisan considerations played no role, but a ProPublica examination of how the map was drawn — and who helped decide its new boundaries — reveals a very different story. The investigative powerhouse said “new details show that the governor’s office appears to have misled the public and the state legislature, and may also have violated Florida law.”

Hurricane Ian

If you were brainstorming a punchy opening image for a post-apocalyptic film centered in Orlando, the sight of a flooded-out Lake Eola Park would surely be a contender. And that’s exactly what Hurricane Ian did. Ian made landfall in Florida on Sept. 28 as a Category 4 storm, tearing through Fort Myers and Cape Coral as it made its way toward Central Florida. The storm lingered over our area overnight and into the next day, dumping between 14 and 20 inches of rain and lashing Orlando with high winds before finally moving northward. Disaster averted, right? Not a chance. The flooding and damage Ian wrought was jaw-dropping. Lake Eola Park flooded out, the theme parks and the airport were all closed, and near UCF, residents of nearby apartment buildings were filmed using air mattresses as rafts, trying to salvage their possessions from the flood. Current estimates of damage statewide are at $12.6 billion, and that’s not even counting the damage

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orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO
2022 [continued on page 11]
2022: You’re soaking in it. [photo by Matt Keller Lehman]
10 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

By the numbers: Your most read stories of the year

The next time you feel the urge to bemoan the lack of serious news coverage in the current media landscape, please remember this list and reconsider that impulse. The preceding article listed the most important local stories of 2022, but here’s a list of what actually got the most eyeballs in the past year, as recorded in our web analytics. Don’t take it as a gotcha or a slam on readers; take it as a chance to reflect on the yin-yang of information consumers’ actual desires. You want both political analysis and Florida Man antics, and we strive to provide you with the best of both. Here’s to all of us.

January: “UF researchers predict 80 of Floridians will contract COVID-19 by end of Omicron surge; some Orlando-area communities are already there”

done by Hurricane Nicole a few weeks later. It’s going to take a long time to get everyone affected by the storm back on their feet.

Freefall

The tragedy of Missouri teen Tyre Sampson falling to his death from the Orlando FreeFall ride at Icon Park is still unfolding, months later. Sampson fell from the ride this spring: While the drop tower was plunging riders toward the ground, his restraints failed to keep him in his seat and he was thrown, ultimately falling to his death in a horrific incident that was captured on a widely shared video. In the aftermath, the ride was shut down permanently and will ultimately be removed. Florida officials have investigated the incident and found that the ride’s restraints were adjusted to allow the ride to operate outside manufacturer-supplied limits in height and weight. Outgoing Agricultural Commissioner Nikki Fried has levied permanent revocation of the ride’s operation permit and a fine of $250,000 against the ride operators, Orlando Slingshot Group — a decision they are currently pushing back on.

Eskamani & Frost

Though the much-ballyhooed “red wave” predicted for the U.S. midterms in November was by and large a dud, that was not reflected in Florida’s statewide elections. The Florida Democratic Party is perhaps the most inept state wing of our two-party system in the entire United States. In a state that is pretty evenly split between Republican and Democrat registered voters, the Dems managed to get absolutely trounced in the first election post-widespread banning of abortion rights. In the big races our own Val Demings lost handily to the genuinely unlikable empty

suit that is Marco Rubio, and an out-of-hisdepth Charlie Crist was vaporized by (sigh) Gov. Ron DeSantis. Locally, it was a mixed bag with a few progressive bright spots: Rep. Anna Eskamani was re-elected in her new District 42, and, perhaps most exciting of all, Florida sent a Zoomer to the U.S. Congress with the election of Democrat Maxwell Frost to represent District 10.

Fentanyl myth-making

Forget guns, knives and fists. According to Florida police, their one true kryptonite is fentanyl. A Tavares officer shared a video of herself in December “overdosing” after a rogue wind blew some fentanyl her way. Though the video was widely debunked, the officer doubled down: “This is man-made fentanyl from street scientists,” she said. (As opposed to fentanyl made by elves and fairies, we guess?) Add this to a ginned-up panic over fentanyl being secreted in Halloween candy and the Orange County Sheriffs Office’s claims that even touching fentanyl makes officers overdose. For the last time: Fentanyl can be dangerous and is a major factor in drug overdoses in the U.S., mostly because it’s being cut into other drugs. However, it also is a drug with practical purposes, and those suffering from legitimate chronic pain are being penalized by this hysteria.

Greenberg goes down

The strange political career of former Seminole County tax collector Joel Greenberg ended when he was sentenced to 11 years in prison. During his stint in Seminole County, he used his position to stalk political rivals, run cryptocurrency operations with government funds, defraud COVID-19 relief programs, impersonate a police officer, and pay escorts for sex, including a woman

who was underage at the time. A judge gave Greenberg the highest recommended sentence from prosecutors, noting that Greenberg’s time in office was a “violation of the public trust.” Though he could have faced much stiffer penalties, some leniency was granted due to Greenberg’s willingness to incriminate other criminal Florida politicians and their associates: Greenberg was at the center of an investigation into Congressman Matt Gaetz (which seems to have fizzled out, however). Greenberg apologized during the hearing, telling the judge he feels “remorse for what I have done.” Does he, though?

OMA in disgrace

Orlando Museum of Art’s controversial exhibition of “lost Basquiat paintings” started with a gala bang and ended with … an FBI raid and the resignation of museum director Dr. Aaron De Groft (and later, several board members). It was a torrential downpour of other shoes dropping from the sky — each with a commemorative Basquiat sock stuffed inside — right over OMA and De Groft from almost the very day the exhibition opened in February, when the New York Times published a report questioning the authenticity of the works. The museum stuck to their guns over the exhibition in the face of a tidal wave of reports questioning the paintings’ provenance (some you might have read in these very pages), until the FBI came a-knocking and confiscated the entire exhibit. (The subgenre of “paintings as flight risk” is a conceptual art movement we weren’t ready for.) De Groft was kicked to the curb, and OMA board and staff were thrown into turmoil. We want to see OMA recover from this and ultimately thrive, but it will be a long road back to trust. feedback@orlandoweekly.com

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February: “Drunk woman riding motorized suitcase leads bike cop on chase through Orlando International Airport”

March: “Video shows huge Lakeland alligator Grandpappy eating a smaller gator on a golf course”

April: “Tampa’s viral hairless creature has been identified”

May: “Dead shark hung from rafters of Florida high school in apparent senior prank”

June: “The Michelin Guide handed out its stars tonight; here are the Florida restaurants that earned them”

July: “Brawl breaks out in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom”

August: “Campaign ad accuses Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz of being FBI informant in Mar-a-Lago raid”

September: “If the November races go as forecast, more than half of Florida’s House delegation will consist of election deniers”

October: “Florida Department of Education adopts rules to suspend licensing of teachers who run afoul Don’t Say Gay law”

November: “Orlando news anchor goes viral on TikTok defending daughters’ homecoming dance outfits”

December: “Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis ally found dead amid sexual misconduct investigation”

● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

WEEKLY 11
Fuck yeah, Orlando: We made it through 2022. [photo by Jim Leatherman]
2022
12 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

NIGHTLIFE WAS SOMEHOW GREAT

Thinking back to the start of 2022, when touring shows were getting canceled left and right as Omicron had its way with us, it’s almost disorienting to recall the absolute wealth of live music and big-time nightlife events that happened in the City Beautiful in the ensuing 11 months. Dance music got bigger with the return of Electric Daisy Carnival to downtown Orlando, and yet also weirder and more postmodern, as evidenced by the Shrek Rave that also happened downtown. Fans of live music found themselves faced with multiple dream gigs in the form of august elders like Paul McCartney and Kraftwerk; simply unbelievable prospects like Peaches and a reunited Bikini Kill adding Orlando to tour itineraries; and that’s not even counting a young vanguard of performers playing to packed houses including Bad Bunny, Wet Leg and beabadoobee. Here are a few 2022 moments captured by our photographers.

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO WEEKLY 13 THE YEAR
2022
IN REVIEW.
EDC brings in dance devotees of all ages. [Photo by Matt Keller Lehman] The Shrek Rave got seriously weird at the Beacham. [Photo by Matt Keller Lehman] Peaches put on an exhilarating, nearly X-rated show. [Photo by Jim Leatherman] A reunited Bikini Kill brought righteous rage to Plaza Live. [Photo by Jim Leatherman] Bad Bunny played Orlando not once, but twice this year. [Photo by J.D. Casto]

We are grateful to the community for this year’s support! Come enjoy our new gallery spaces and exhibitions on view in 2023!

TIME FOR CHANGE: ART AND SOCIAL UNREST IN THE JORGE M. PÉREZ COLLECTION

On view through August 27, 2023

Exhibition Sponsor:

JACOB HASHIMOTO: THIS PARTICLE OF DUST

On view through 2024

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE KARAM COLLECTION

On view through January 15, 2023

POETRY IN PAINT: THE ARTISTS OF OLD TAMPA BAY Selections from Alfred Frankel’s Artists of Old Florida, 1840-1960

On view through January 23, 2023

Contributor Sponsor:

PURVIS YOUNG: REDUX

On view through June 30, 2024

Presented in part by:

LIFE & DEATH IN THE ANCIENT WORLD: INTRODUCTION TO THE ANTIQUITIES COLLECTION

Opening Winter 2023

DRAPO VODOU: HAITIAN VODOU FLAGS FROM THE PERMANENT COLLECTION

Opening Winter 2023

TRAVELS IN ITALY: A 19TH-CENTURY JOURNEY THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHY

On view January 12 through July 9, 2023

Supporting Sponsor:

14 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com Also sponsored by: Presenting Sponsor: SNAP Benefit Recipients get free admission to the Tampa Museum of Art! Exhibitions supported in part by: Hours: Monday – Sunday: 10am – 5pm Thursday: 10am – 8pm EDQMC TampaMuseum.org

Blue Star and her founding staff from HAOS, the Church Street venue that provided an oasis for LGBTQ-friendly entertainment during the pandemic.

The theater news wasn’t all negative, as the Dr. Phillips Center started 2022 with the long-awaited opening of its Steinmetz Hall, celebrating with all-star shows featuring Michael Feinstein, Jennifer Hudson and more. Unfortunately, the sound and sightlines in the “acoustically ideal” venue haven’t always lived up to their billing, but CFCArts’ massive orchestra finally showed it off to its full potential with last month’s Classic(al) Rock concert of Julian Bond’s arrangements. Next door at the Walt Disney Theater, 2022’s Broadway touring offerings included several — like Cats and Six — that were far better than I anticipated, and ended the year on a high note with the extraordinary Hadestown.

2022 turned out to be a tumultuous year full of tragedy and triumph, whether you’re talking about world events or Orlando’s theaters and theme parks. Here’s a brief look back at a few of my most memorable moments exploring attractions and arts over the past 12 months.

ATTRACTIONS

As the buzzing show floor during November’s International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions demonstrated, Central Florida’s tourism industry has bounced back above pre-pandemic highs. Those resurgent crowds were especially obvious across Walt Disney World, where Epcot’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind coaster finally opened after eons of construction, and turned out to be worth the wait. (The ride’s temporary Christmas song was a lump of coal, however.) I was even more excited to see more Disney actors back at work as large-scale shows like the Finding Nemo musical, Festival of the Lion King and especially Fantasmic! returned looking as good or better than before.

At the same time, the rapid increase in prices and standby wait times (largely tied to the extra-cost Genie+/Lightning Lane lineskipping service) resulted in even the most pixie-dusted passholders turning against former CEO Bob Chapek. Those same fans who are now applauding Bob Iger’s shortterm return might want to temper their anticipation by rereading my interview with director Abigail Disney, whose documentary The American Dream and Other Fairy Tales premiered at the Enzian (with a memorable Q&A, hosted by yours truly). One thing Iger definitely won’t do is cancel the conversion of Splash Mountain into Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, so get your last licks on the Magic Kingdom’s problematic log ride before it closes on Jan. 23.

For the first time in about a decade, Universal Orlando finished the year without opening a major E-Ticket attraction, unless you count Revenge of the Mummy, which still hasn’t fully reopened from its extended refurbishment. And the recent early retirement of

key

executives — including

Thierry Coup, who endearingly apologized

the Fast & Furious simulator — throws the park’s long-term future into flux. But plans are already fixed and underway for additions over the next few years, from the Villain-Con Minion Blast interactive moving walkway replacing Shrek 4-D to the rapidly rising Epic Universe expansion. Once again, I spent 2022 refreshing orlandoparkstop.com for Alicia Stella’s latest updates on these projects and more.

Ironically, perhaps the two best new attractions at Universal aren’t inside its theme parks, but at CityWalk. Universal’s Great Movie Escape Room (which I hope to review early next year) has received raves for its realistic re-creations of sets from Back to the Future and Jurassic World. And the repurposed Red Coconut Club became my favorite retro watering hole during Halloween and the holidays, thanks to vintage decor and character appearances. My wish to Santa is that it stays open nightly year-round.

SeaWorld finally opened Ice Breaker, a tween-friendly launched coaster that failed to live up to the hype for me. Hopefully Pipeline, their upcoming stand-up “surfing coaster” will deliver, or at least not destroy delicate organs. On the other hand, sister park Busch Gardens Tampa exceeded my expectations with Iron Gwazi by transforming the park’s worst woodie into its best hybrid steel coaster. But frankly, my taste for extreme thrills has been dulled since the tragic death of Tyre Sampson, who fell from the Orlando FreeFall Tower at Icon Park a few weeks after I rode it. The Peppa Pig Theme Park, which opened in February at Legoland Resort, might be more my speed for right now, but it’s awkward attending a preschoolers’ park as a childless adult.

Beyond the landlocked attractions, I spent most of my vacation time earning my sea legs, since (at least until restrictions were recently lifted) cruises offered the most coronavirus precautions of any travel method. I learned to love MSC’s pristine private island on Ocean Cay and the pampered luxury of their reasonably-priced Yacht Club, as well as to avoid their chaotic standard customer service. And I barely had time to learn the layout during my recent two-night press voyage on Royal Caribbean’s Wonder of the Seas, currently the world’s largest passenger cruise ship, which features seven “neighborhoods” stuffed with giant slides, a surfing simulator, a carousel and a zip line — not to mention scores of restaurants and bars, including one tended by robots and another that lifts into the air.

What impressed me most was the Wonder’s entertainment — the athletic ice-skating show 365, the corny comic-book musical Effectors II and most of all the stunning diving spectacular inTENse — which all employ world-class performers and bleeding-edge effects that equal or exceed anything on Broadway or the Vegas Strip. The home porting of this record-breaking vessel in Canaveral (instead of Miami or another major port) is another strong sign of confidence in Central Florida tourism’s comeback from COVID.

PERFORMING ARTS

Any look back at the year in Orlando’s performing arts community has to begin with acknowledging the beloved members who left us in 2022, including actor and radio personality Doug Ba’aser; Universal show director Adrian LePeltier; and Steve Singhaus, the final member of the fabulous family that included his late wife, Marcy, and his brother Sam, aka “Miss Sammy.” Another loss that almost felt like a death was the departure of

Better yet, I was heartened by the resilience of our hometown thespians, as former favorites returned in fine form (such as Theater on the Edge with Say Goodnight, Gracie) and emerging companies expanded their ambition. Aaron Safer’s rebranded New Generation Theatrical slayed with Michael Knight’s satirical Gothic Manor; Little Radical Theatrics raised the bar for community theater with the help of director Travis Eaton; and Donald Rupe’s Renaissance Theatre proved with Nosferatu and the Office Holiday Party that independent immersive adult entertainment can be a huge hit here.

Finally, I can’t end a review of 2022 without addressing the elephants in the room: the implosions of multiple Orlando arts institutions. The FBI’s investigation into the Orlando Museum of Art’s exhibit of purported Basquiat paintings (and the subsequent sacking of its newest director) made headlines around the globe, but the meltdowns at two major theaters hit closer to home for me. After apparently making strides toward diversity and equity under artistic director Joseph Walsh — including acclaimed productions of The Mountaintop and Beauty and the Beast with directors Felichia Chivaughn and Roberta Emerson — he abruptly exited, and was soon followed by most of the staff. Singer Fernando Varela’s Victory Productions (best known for presenting vocalists at the Villages) has been subcontracted to restart the Garden’s aborted season in 2023. Meanwhile, the board is consulting with the Edyth Bush Institute about reforms, but questions remain about any long-term changes.

Chivaughn and Emerson, as leaders of the Central Florida Entertainment Advocacy group, were also involved in the ongoing campaign to hold Mad Cow Theatre accountable after years of financially abusing artists. In this case, the effort bore fruit as Mad Cow was eventually evicted from its city-owned pasture over unpaid fees. The silver lining is that the Orlando Fringe [full disclosure: my wife’s employer] was handed control of the downtown venue, where it will present yearround programming beginning Jan. 12 with the return of Winter Mini-Fest. After successfully hosting the 2022 World Conference during last May’s two-week festival, I’m excited to see what Orlando Fringe can do with the other 50 weeks each year.

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

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Universal Creative chief creative officer for
A look back at a tumultuous year of triumph, tragedy and transformation in Orlando’s theaters and theme parks
Epcot’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind was worth the wait | Photo by Seth Kubersky

THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

Other notable openings:

Pizza Bruno College Park: Top-notch Jersey-style pies and extruded pasta.

Edoboy: Eight-person standing sushi bar with superb slivers of seafood.

Salt & the Cellar: A pricey, sometimes poncy fusion of Mediterranean and Asian flavors.

Bad As’s Burgers: A bangin’ roster of Australian wagyu burgers.

Taco Kat: Sonoran-style tacos served on house-made flour tortillas.

Ga Ta (formerly Ga 2 To): It’s all about the North Vietnamese chicken soups.

Top tables:

The best restaurants that opened in Orlando in 2022

This was a year when third-culture cooking really made an impression in restaurants around the city. A new generation of chefs not only found their place amid the pull of competing cultures and traditions, but celebrated their personal journeys through food, and in the process redefined “authenticity” of cuisine. Unlike the fusion fare of yore devised by white chefs charmed by “ethnic” and “exotic” ingredients and flavors, third-culture cooking is deeply personal, sincere and, yes, authentic. It’s made by those with intimate ties and roots to the heritage of the cuisine. In embracing their third-culture identities, chefs and restaurateurs like Lordfer Lalicon, Jamilyn Bailey, Lewis Lin, John Zhao, Gene Kim, and Johnny and Jimmy Tung continue to evolve and cultivate Orlando’s dining landscape by spotlighting diasporic foodways. This is the future of food, after all, and if the list below is any indication, the future is now. Here, then, are the very best restaurants that opened in 2022.

No. 1: Kaya

This latecomer by Kadence founding partner Lordfer Lalicon and Jamilyn Bailey was the most hotly anticipated restaurant opening of the year, and just a month into Kaya’s existence, it’s lived up to the hype. From the unfeigned hospitality and memento-steeped interior to the seafood- and veg-forward tasting menu and staunch focus on sustainability and local sourcing, the restaurant is an intimate reflection of the path Lalicon and Bailey have taken as first- and sec-

ond-generation Americans. The techniques and flavor combinations Lalicon employs in five “waves” of dishes, be they raw (kombu-cured flounder from Ponce Inlet with chili salad and coconut kinilaw foam) or cooked (Seminole squash simmered in coconut milk, garlic, ginger and bagoong), firmly establish the 37-year-old as one of the city’s finest chefs. “Kaya is so much more than pancit, lumpia and lechon,” Bailey says, and she’s right. Kaya is also so much more than just a restaurant. It’s a window into the cross-generational immigrant experience and the role it plays in creating a new food language. (kayaorlando.com, opened in November)

No. 2: Juju

No other restaurant in the city quite captures the pulse and spirit of an izakaya than this eye-catching Colonialtown stunner by Susuru’s Lewis Lin. Juju’s interior, in all its revivalist Shōwa- era glory, is as captivating as the dishes coming out of the converted Pizza Hut kitchen. Lin has become equally adept at grilling meats and veg over binchotan coals as he has at dry-aging fish like yellowtail amberjack (14 days) and fatty tuna belly (45 days). However, Lin’s most noteworthy feat is that he’s managed to generate the kind of buzzy conviviality at Juju that money just can’t buy. Money, however, will buy a place at the six-seat kappo bar, where creative 10-course omakases are served for a mere $160. But the real sizzle resides in Juju’s main dining room where beer and cocktails flow, yakitori skewers are scarfed and good

SoDough Square: Detroit-style pizzas that earn their crust.

Kabab King: Pakistani dishes worthy of royal fanfare.

Norigami: Plant Street Market sushi stand stuns with creativity.

The Hen & Hog: Gorgeous dishes comprising all those homey Southern feels.

Banana Leaf: A colorful spread of Sri Lankan delights.

Plantees: Plant-based burgers, fries and shakes are finger-lickin’ comfort.

Ten Ten Seafood & Grill: Cantonese cuisine done traditionally and extensively.

Isan Zaap: Northeastern Thai resto gets funky with stimulating fare.

Twenty Pho Hour: I-Drive joint dazzles with 2-D monochromatic optics and brilliant bowls of pho.

16 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com
Brand-new Filipino-American restaurant Kaya takes the top spot. [photo by Rob Bartlett]

times are a foregone conclusion. (susuruorl.com/juju-rest aurant, opened in August)

No. 3: YH Seafood Clubhouse

Tampa Bay restaurateur John Zhao expressed his enthusiasm for Orlando’s restaurant scene by investing $1.75 million into this sprawling and handsomely appointed restaurant specializing in soaring salvers of Hong Kong-style seafood à la Toronto’s Fishman Lobster Clubhouse. But the real draw at YH is the team of experienced chefs Zhao lured from New York City. Their exceptional skills at firing and plating an ambitious style of Cantonese cuisine, be it dramatically presented Mandarin bass or salt-and-pepper flounder, or showstopping platters of fried lobster piled high with French fries, fried scallions, chilies and garlic, is unmatched. Same goes for the dim sum menu — it may very well be the best in the city. (yhseafoodclubhouse.com, opened in April)

No. 4: Ava Mediterraegean

The trendy Mediterranean hotspot in the heart of Park

Avenue may be saturated in SoBe swank, but its menu packs the sort of substance that only makes people-watching at Ava all the more enjoyable. The Riviera Dining Group out of Miami poured a pretty penny into redesigning the old Luma space, and pretty it is. And while there’s a propensity for pyrotechnics in both food and drink, consider the offerings here a foray into Greek “lit.” Indeed, the signature block of potato mille-feuille is absolute fire and worth the trip alone, though bracing dorade tartare and salt-baked branzino also merit consideration. Perhaps most notably, Ava has made many a Winter Parker forget about the space’s much-loved former tenant. (avamediterraegean.com, opened in February)

No. 5: Doshi

Going from ghost kitchen outfit to modern Korean American eating house à la NYC stalwarts Atomix, Ataboy, Jungsik and Jua was no easy feat for chef-owner Gene Kim, but an assist from restaurateurs Johnny and Jimmy Tung made Doshi a reality. The restaurant comprises a six-seat chef’s counter where a contemporary, progressive and seasonal tasting menu is offered, as well as a modern dining

room where à la carte options of reimagined Hanguk cuisine go beyond gochujang drizzles and kimchi ornamentation. (doshiorlando.com, opened in March)

Honorable mention: The Wellborn

Team Market Group (Mathers Social Gathering, Robinson Room, Plantees, Taco Kat) took over the historic Wellborn property in 2019, and in just three COVID-era years, they spiffed up the property, cleaned up the grounds and contemporized the aesthetics. This August, under the charge of culinary director Nick Grecco and executive chef Ivesant Geigel, the Wellborn’s menu was completely modernized with an offering of Floribbean-focused small plates that absolutely floor. Of note: brie grilled-cheese brioche stuffed with duck confit and white truffle oil over mango jam, and grilled prawns slicked in chili-lime butter. Noted pastry chef Amanda McFall (Ravenous Pig, Urbain 40) oversees the dessert menu. Best of all, meals can be enjoyed in any of the Wellborn’s inviting and intimate spaces. (thewellborn orlando.com, opened in August)

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

WEEKLY 17
Clockwise from top left: Juju, YH Seafood Clubhouse, Ava Mediterraegean, Doshi. [photos by Rob Bartlett]
2022
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20 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

THE YEAR IN REVIEW.

for hours to absolute tender, juicy perfection — so flavorful, not too salty, not dry at all. The crispy skin was savory, crackly, golden goodness. Even the white rice was deliciously buttery — why can’t I ever cook rice this well at home? — and even better when I poured the habichuelas rosadas (stewed pink beans) over it. Pasta salad was full of diced ham and could probably be a meal in itself. Every time I return (which will be often), I hope to try something new, but it’s going to be hard to not return to this perfect porchetta. (crocante kitchen.com)

Thai Singha: Mee grob

some in every possible way. I love creative fusion recipes, and I’m also a sucker for restaurants concealed inside businesses where you wouldn’t expect to find them. I wouldn’t be surprised if some South Beach hipster restaurant steals this idea and charges triple what Escobar Kitchen is asking. (theescobar kitchen.com)

JAM Hot Chicken: Chicken sando

Top Tastes: The best bites we took in 2022

It has been another rough year for most of the people I know, and probably for you and most of the people you know too. It has also been a rough year for restaurants, but I try to use my food blog and this annual list to boost the signal and let everyone know about my favorite local restaurants and dishes. These Orlando restaurants could all use your support, and we could all use some edible escapism to get ourselves and each other through 2023. Here we go, in no specific order.

Wako Taco: Pibil pork chimichanga

I’ve tried almost everything on Wako Taco’s menu over the years, but I always return to this huge, gorgeous chimichanga, the best in the Orlando area. Essentially a deep-fried burrito, it is stuffed with the meat of your choice plus beans, cheese and rice. I recommend the mildly spicy pibil pork. Fried to golden perfection, it is crispy and soft at the same time, topped with diced tomatoes, queso and drizzles of guacamole and sour cream. Don’t forget to ask for pineapple hot sauce. This Longwood Tex-Mex spot is connected to Hourglass Brewing, so you can order all your food and eat in the giant adjoining taproom and brewery, but even if you’re drinking next door, don’t miss Wako Taco’s refreshing aguas frescas. (wakotaco.com)

John and John’s — A Pizza Shop: Slice

My favorite new pizzeria that opened in Orlando in 2022 is John and John’s, specializing in excellent New York-style pizza. I always prefer thin, crispy slices with melty, gooey cheese, hot out of the oven, eaten right in the pizzeria. Pizza — especially NY-style

— always loses something by the time you get it home, after it steams in the box. Plain cheese slices at John and John’s are $3.99 each, but I jazzed one up with crumbled meatballs and caramelized onions (99 cents each). Also great is the Mediterranean Blue (a tribute to the former occupant of the space), topped with slices of gyro meat, feta cheese, fresh tomatoes, red onion and creamy, tangy tzatziki sauce, on top of the regular mozzarella base. (johnandjohnspizza.com)

The Pastrami Project: Pastrami sandwich

George Markward’s food truck is already famous with no help from me, after being featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives on Food Network. But Guy Fieri was right to showcase this awe-inspiring pastrami, easily the best I’ve ever had outside of the legendary Katz’s Deli on the Lower East Side. George makes his pastrami from scratch, curing huge briskets for a week. Then he applies his spice rub, smokes the briskets, refrigerates them to make them easier to hand-slice, and finally steams the thick slices on a steam table before building his sandwiches on rye bread he bakes fresh. (Even Katz’s doesn’t do that — the bread is an afterthought there, more like an edible napkin.) There’s no better pastrami in the city, or probably in the South. (pastrami project.com)

Crocante: Porchetta de pernil

This Puerto Rican restaurant recently opened a second location right near my work, and after one amazing recent meal, I look forward to becoming a regular. The boneless pork leg was marinated, rolled and roasted

The first Thai restaurant I fell in love with in Orlando, Thai Singha is good enough to get me to schlep to Waterford Lakes, even against evening rush-hour traffic heading east on Colonial Drive. As much as I love the drunken noodles here, I have to highlight a dish I rarely see on other Thai restaurants’ menus: mee grob, a mountain of crispy rice noodles in a tangy, sweet, sour, sticky sauce, mixed with chunks of pork, shrimp, fried tofu, crunchy bean sprouts and diced scallions. It’s an ideal appetizer whether you’re dining with a group or flying solo. A bit awkward to scoop with forks, you may want to go in pinching with your fingers, stickiness be damned. (thaisingha.net)

Ray’s Deli and More: Chopped cheese

For years, I heard references to chopped cheese sandwiches in hip-hop songs. When I found out Ray’s Deli and More served them, I drove across town to the Pine Castle neighborhood and found the closest Orlando has to a legit New York bodega — a nondescript convenience store with a nice deli counter inside, serving freshly made sandwiches, prepared foods and more. All it needed was a cat. Anyway, imagine a cheeseburger and a Philly cheesesteak hooked up after a crazy night at the club, and the chopped cheese is their beautiful, greasy love child. They chop up two Angus burgers with onions and peppers on the flattop grill, then place it on a sub roll with American cheese, shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes and mayo, and then press it like a Cuban sandwich, until the cheese melts. It’s true comfort food, and I’m surprised more places don’t make their own versions. (raysdeliandmore.com)

The Escobar Kitchen: Paisa roll

The Bravo Supermarket in Lake Nona is the nicest Bravo I’ve ever been to, but it hides a real treasure inside: the Escobar Kitchen, a micro-restaurant that specializes in sushi with a Puerto Rican twist. Those are two cuisines I’d never think of combining, but I’m glad somebody did. The Paisa Roll combines yellow rice, thin-sliced grilled churrasco steak, chorizo, avocado and cream cheese, wrapped in sweet plantains, drizzled with chimichurri and honey wasabi, and topped with a crunchy, crackly pork rind. This isn’t light, like most sushi rolls — it’s heavy in every possible way, but also awe-

This huge “sando” contains a Bell & Evans chicken breast, fried in peanut oil, seasoned to juicy perfection, and served on a buttered bun. But that’s not all — JAM tops it with crunchy pickle slices; crispy slaw made with cabbage, red onion, apple cider vinegar and no mayo; and creamy “comeback sauce” I would slather on anything. It’s a beautiful sandwich, full of contrasting textures and colors and flavors. I ordered mine hot, and it was REALLY hot, but there are two heat levels above that: hotter and JAM. Luckily, the heat was packed with plenty of flavor, rather than just overwhelming, sadistic spice. They are wise to offer milk as a drink, and you would be wise to order it. But don’t worry, if you don’t care for spicy, they have mild and even plain options too. Even in a town with multiple excellent hot chicken options, JAM serves a fabulous chicken sandwich, whether you like it hot or not. (jamhotchickenfl.com)

Kabuto: Spicy tuna crispy rice

They have excellent happy hour deals, but I fell in love with the spicy tuna crispy rice on the “cold small plates” part of the menu: cubes of deep-fried rice topped with spicy tuna, avocado, masago, scallions, sesame seeds and a sweet glaze. It came with four pieces, which I split with my wife, but I could have eaten 200 of them, seriously. The light crunch you get from the breaded, fried cubes of rice contrasts so well against the other ingredients — each one is a perfect bite. They’re almost too pretty to eat, like all the other options at the underrated Kabuto, but you’ll happily eat them anyway. (kabutosushi.com)

Hanalei Shave Ice: Lilikoi shave ice

Brandy Ford’s festive food trailer, located at the House on Lang in Orlando’s Mills 50 district, serves dozens of flavors of shave ice with homemade fruit sauces. After trying multiple flavors, my favorite remains classic lilikoi, aka passion fruit. In addition to the sweet and tangy sauce, I like my shave ice drizzled with sweetened condensed milk and sprinkled with li hing mui, a dried plum powder that adds a sweet-salty-sour taste to fruit and desserts, similar to chamoy on a mangonada. The texture Brandy gets from hand-cranking discs of ice in her vintage machine is so smooth and soft, it’s so much lighter and more refreshing than ice cream. Brandy is also one of the warmest and friendliest people I’ve met in Orlando, with a really soothing energy. Come visit, order one of these, and you’ll feel like you’re on a Hawaiian vacation. (instagram. com/hanaleishaveice)

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

WEEKLY 21
2022
ILLUSTRATION JAM’s Hot Chicken Sando excels among local contenders. [photo by Rob Bartlett]
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ON (small) SCREENS IN

ORLANDO

Streaming premieres you won’t want to miss. by Steve Schneider

PREMIERES WEDNESDAY,

DEC. 28:

The Circle: Singles — Some of the contestants in Season 5 are available romantically, while the others are merely pretending to be. In other words, it’s just like Tinder. Or CPAC! (Netflix)

Encanto at the Hollywood Bowl — The original voice cast of the movie welcomes special guests for a live performance of its celebrated soundtrack. In a shameless bid for Emmy consideration, the show will feature one new song, “We’re Thinking of Replatforming Bruno.” (Disney+)

Live to Lead — Striking while the iron of streaming notoriety is still hot, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle team up with the Nelson Mandela Foundation to present a series of interviews with inspiring figures like Greta Thunberg and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Um, what now? If they’ve really scored an interview with RBG, I think they’ve figured out how to get everybody to stop talking about curtsying. (Netflix)

PREMIERES THURSDAY,

episodes, Diane Dunbrowski deepens her cred as the Windy City’s Auntie Mame, showing nephew Daniel how to trash it up ’80s style. Step One: Act as if you’re never going to have a nephew. (Netflix)

The Glory — A South Korean woman gets a shot at revenge when the son of man who once bullied her enrolls in the elementaryschool class she teaches. See, this is why we need to pay our educators better: It’s unfair that they have to pay for their own crayons and chloroform. (Netflix)

Wildcat — Documentary cameras look on approvingly as a young British war veteran finds his purpose as a caretaker of endangered animals in the Amazon. Sounds high-minded enough, but since it’s on Prime, I’m thinking the real goal here was product synergy. (Prime Video)

PREMIERES SUNDAY, JAN. 1:

2 of the anime comedy, Yakuza member–turned–domestic god Tatsu discovers more pleasures of a peaceful life, including rice cookers and adorable dog photos. Now if we could just get SBF on TikTok, our own crime problem would disappear overnight. (Netflix)

PREMIERES TUESDAY, JAN. 3:

Sometimes When We Touch — The history of so-called “soft rock” is retold in a three-part documentary that’s safe for the little eyes. And since we’ve got soft rock covered, maybe we can move on to documentaries on other great oxymoronic phenomena, like the French resistance and artists’ co-operatives. (Paramount+)

PREMIERES WEDNESDAY, JAN. 4:

PREMIERES THURSDAY, JAN. 5:

Copenhagen Cowboy — Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn (Drive) is behind this supernatural noir series, which depicts the emancipation of a woman who had once been enslaved as a “human good luck charm.” They only let her go when she did a whole lotta nothin’ for her final customer, Rose Kennedy. (Netflix)

Ginny & Georgia — Season 2 will show what happens now that Ginny knows mom Georgia murdered her ex-husband. But what’s the kid complaining for? That’s one less barbecue apron to buy next Christmas. (Netflix)

Woman of the Dead — In six nail-biting episodes, a German funeral-home owner goes after the mysterious assassins who killed her husband and made it look like an accident. This is a lot more exciting than anything you’d typically see going on at Baldwin-Fairchild, but a revenge spree is easier when you’ve already got a good line on body bags. (Netflix)

PREMIERES FRIDAY, JAN. 6:

The Pale Blue Eye — Following on the heels of last September’s Raven’s Hollow on Shudder, here’s another piece of historical speculation based on Edgar Allan Poe’s years as a military cadet. This one casts Christian Bale as Poe’s mentor, with supporting roles for Robert Duvall and Gillian Anderson, and a cameo by none other than recently elected U.S. Sen. John Fetterman. Be grateful we don’t still have the Fairness Doctrine, or you’d be seeing Dr. Oz. hawking tonic in a medicine show. (Netflix)

Pressure Cooker — Since what we all needed was for kitchen competitions to be even more awkward, here’s one in which the 11 participating chefs have to not only judge one another but live in the same house while they’re doing it. When they hide the knives, is it for safety or strategy? (Netflix)

The Rig — A six-episode series filmed in Scotland shows what happens when the crew of an oil rig is attacked by a supernatural force. Boy, that Brandon will stop at nothing to prop up solar. (Prime Video)

DEC. 29:

Burial — Fun idea: A unit of soldiers has to deliver Hitler’s corpse to Josef Stalin. Better idea: A team of corpse soldiers has to deliver Hitler’s unit to Josef Stalin. (Shudder)

Rise of Empires: Ottoman: Season 2 — I guess a history major could tell you what happens now that Constantinople has fallen to the Ottomans. But I only know TV, so I’m expecting an appearance by Dick Van Dyke. (Netflix)

PREMIERES FRIDAY, DEC. 30:

Chicago Party Aunt: Part 2 — In eight new

Kaleidoscope — This crime-caper series can be watched in any order and still make equal sense — but you have to have seen all the other episodes to “unlock” the finale. Which makes me realize that what every season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel really needs is an epic boss battle. (Netflix)

Paul T. Goldman — The line between reality and fantasy is intentionally blurred in a six-part talk docuseries about Goldman, an ordinary schlub who realized the person he had married was seriously compromised both morally and legally. OK, so that takes care of the reality part; when do we get to the fantasy? (Peacock)

The Way of the Househusband — In Season

The Kings of the World — This cinematic portrait of five boys living on the streets of Medellín is Colombia’s official entry in the 2023 Oscars. And here you thought Colombia’s official entry in the 2023 Oscars was blow for James Cameron! (Netflix)

Madoff: The Monster of Wall Street — Tireless documentarian Joe Berlinger gives us four episodes’ worth of insight into the late, infamous Ponzi schemer. Fun fact: The 150-year sentence Madoff was handed was the steepest punishment allowable by law at the time, because “listening to Lana Del Rey” wasn’t a thing yet. (Netflix)

Star Wars: The Bad Batch — Season 2 sees our titular clones embarking on a new round of mercenary missions to all corners of the galaxy. Hmmm, sounds like somebody’s getting heavy into NFTs. (Disney+)

PREMIERES MONDAY, JAN. 9:

Koala Man — An Australian dad becomes a superhero with a very mundane agenda in an animated series that also features Hugh Jackman as the head of the town council. Sounds like somebody’s been taking his cues from Adam West. Then again, who shouldn’t? (Hulu)

PREMIERES TUESDAY, JAN. 10:

The Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker —Remember Caleb “Kai” McGillvary, the Canadian viral star from 2013 who claimed to have saved several innocent bystanders from a crazed motorist via a well-placed hatchet to the head? Well, the bad news is that he’s currently serving a 57-year sentence for an unrelated murder. The good news is that 10 years is apparently long enough for anything to qualify as nostalgia. Somebody tell Psy it’s time for a stabbing spree. (Netflix)

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

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[ film + tv ]
PHOTO COURTESY NETFLIX The Pale Blue Eye makes for an intriguing what-if story about Edgar Allan Poe’s years in the military | photo courtesy Netflix
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UNDIE AWARDS

THE 2022 UNDIES

Best local representation: Ms. Meka Nism

This year, Orlando metal icon Ms. Meka Nism was elected president of the venerable Recording Academy’s Florida chapter. Good for her, but good for us too. She’s the first Orlandoan and only the fourth woman to ever hold the position in the chapter’s history, so it’s a milestone on manifold levels. Now we’ve got one of us inside the establishment.

Best reboot: Leatherette

When you make a name on pure thrill, it’s a tall-ass order to then pivot into not just a new direction but a new identity altogether. Well, that’s what Orlando garage punks Spoon Dogs did when they completely rebranded as Leatherette and released a run of songs that went more for atmosphere than exhilaration. They’ve pulled it off by proving that their raw punk verve can cast an even deeper spell when paired with some dark bluesy depth.

Most dramatic metamorphosis: Marc With a C

Jaws dropped this year when left-field pop artist Marc With a C officially ditched the charismatic persona that’s made him a cult hero after two decades. But did you really

expect some boring normie to be behind that veil? Not a chance. Only a real personality could’ve ever conceived of Mark With a C, and that person is now speaking through a truly new and still utterly original perspective. Beginning with the grand release of the high-concept Thanatophobia album, the first under his big new deal with notable outsider label Needlejuice Records, Marc has emerged from the chrysalis in newfound splendor.

Best heavy debut: Weak

Of all the new heavy music released in Orlando this year, some of the best came from one of the newest bands. This summer, the Life, Death & Foxes EP dropped, slayed and immediately established Weak as

a heavyweight hardcore contender. And it’s only the first half of an upcoming full-length album.

Best hip-hop debut: Snotnoze Saleem

This year, Orlando rapper-producer Snotnoze Saleem exploded as a promising new voice in left-field hip-hop with the thrilling debut mixtape Type Shit on Illuminated Paths. Then, six months later, he returned with the even better Intifada, an album that suggests his rate of development may be as breathless as his frenetic raps.

Best indie-rock debut: The Amphetamines

One of this year’s best indie-rock releases also came from a newcomer. From total obscurity, Orlando’s Amphetamines suddenly emerged with Daggers in the Blacklight, an astonishingly perfect four-song EP that bridges the Strokes’ tight melodicism and Surfer Blood’s heady fuzz. It’s some of the most finely tuned indie rock to come from here in a long time.

Best new classical music: Answers

Although classical in genre, Orlando band Answers released one of the most categorically contemporary records this year. Their studio debut, A New Path to Touch the Earth, is a skilled interplay of composition and improvisation that’s forward-thinking enough to feature mixing and mastering

Hottest local cameo: DJ GAY-Z

This year, cutting-edge Tampa hip-hop act They Hate Change became one of Florida’s most notable indie breakouts with their Jagjaguwar debut (Finally, New). The lead single that launched that big national emergence was “From the Floor.” It’s a futuristic take on the classic Florida bass banger and it prominently features Orlando’s DJ GAY-Z, showcasing the next generation of native talent to the broader masses.

Most gothic ode: C.B. Carlyle & the Desert Angels

No black clothes, no black makeup. Instead, the year’s most gothic song came from cinematic country and Western act C.B. Carlyle & the Desert Angels, whose “Fever Swamp” single is a chilling blues hex that weaves mystique like C.W. Stoneking to lure you into the midnight bayou.

Best stalker soundtrack: ACP Pro

With new single “Atomic Trinity,” local synthwave act ACP Pro ventured further into the heart of darkness than ever before. It’s a lurking electronic drive that’s like a slasherflick score set to a beat, and it’s ACP Pro’s finest work to date.

baolehuu@orlandoweekly.com

WEEKLY 25
orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO
credits by post-rock giant John McEntire (of Tortoise and the Sea and Cake fame).
OK, PYTs: It’s time once again to honor some of the biggest things that happened this year in Orlando music. Welcome back to This Little Underground’s annual Undie Awards
Snotnoze Saleem | Photo by Matthew Moyer

THE WEEK

and Dimitrov 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $6-$8.

The SOO Show with Rome 10 pm; Uncle Lou’s Entertainment Hall, 1016 N. Mills Ave.; 407-270-9104.

Sundown Sessions: Thomas Wynn 7 pm; Lil Indie’s, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

The Taylor Party: Taylor Swift Night 9 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $18-$70; 407-934-2583.

SATURDAY, DEC. 31

Classic Albums Live: The Beatles Abbey Road 9:30 pm; Hard Rock Live, 6050 Universal Blvd.; $37.50-$65.50; 407-351-5483.

The Healing Collective 8 pm; Dees Brothers Brewery, 210 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; free; 407-732-4008.

Shine and The Shakers 10 pm; Lil Indie’s, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free.

929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 4

Hard Swingin’ Country Soiree with Decker and Dimitrov 7 pm; Lil Indie’s, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-748-8256.

JazzPro Series Presents: Tamir Heldelman 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $20; 407-636-9951.

THURSDAY, JAN. 5

Open Acoustic Jam with Raleigh and Friends All musicians of every skill level welcome. 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980.

Palomino Blond, Smelter, 0 Miles Per Hour, Couples Therapy 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $12-$15.

MUSIC

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 28

Body Shop, The Synthetics, Altar Boy, KT Kink 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$12.

Hard Swingin’ Country Soiree with Decker and Dimitrov 7 pm; Lil Indie’s, 1036 N. Mills Ave.; free; 407-748-8256.

THURSDAY, DEC. 29

Mother Juno, Future Bartenderz, Plurbal, Haize 8 pm; Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road; $7; 407-623-3393.

Noche De Verano Sin Ti: ¡Celebración De Bad Bunny! A dance party for fans of Bad

Bunny. ¡Vamos a bailar! 9 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $20.

Open Acoustic Jam with Raleigh and Friends All musicians of every skill level welcome. 8 pm; Muldoon’s Saloon, 7439 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-657-9980.

Open Mic 6 pm; Dees Brothers Brewery, 210 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; free; 407-732-4008.

Thursday Night Hang

Open jazz jam kicks off after 9 pm. 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-636-9951.

Tremonti Sings Sinatra 7:30 pm; Steinmetz Hall, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts,

445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $39.50$149.50; 407-358-6603.

FRIDAY, DEC. 30

Paint It Black Orchestra 5 pm; Charles Hosmer Morse Museum of American Art, 445 N. Park Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-645-5311.

Jester Cordell 8 pm; Dees Brothers Brewery, 210 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; free; 407-732-4008.

Magic City Hippies, Cannibal Kids 6 pm; The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave.; ages 12+; $22.50; 407-246-1419.

Skinny Mcgee and His Mayhem Makers, the Chotchkies, Decker

Steeln’ Peaches 9 pm; Tuffy’s Music Box, 200 Myrtle Ave., Sanford; $35-$400.

Strangelove, Electric Duke 8 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $35-$40; 407-704-6261.

Woolly Bushmen, the Sh-Booms, The Palmettes 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $15-$21.

SUNDAY, JAN. 1

Ukulaliens Jam, Big Jef Special 4 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; all ages; free.

MONDAY, JAN. 2

Open Mic Hip-Hop Cypherstyle open mic with featured MCs. 9:30 pm; Austin’s Coffee,

Thursday Night Hang Open jazz jam kicks off after 9 pm. 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-636-9951.

FRIDAY, JAN. 6

Brojob, Slackjaw, Sever the Memories, Enbringer, Murder Afloat, Odium Rot 6 pm; The Conduit, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $15-$20; 407-673-2712.

Chris Dingman 7:30 pm; Timucua Arts Foundation, 2000 S. Summerlin Ave.; $25; 321-234-3985.

Danny Attack, Mickey Sharp, Cat Ridgeway, Charlene Joan 7 pm; Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road; all ages; $10; 407-623-3393.

Intervention, Virginity, Overthinker, Like Father 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10.

John Lowell Trio 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $25; 407-636-9951.

WJRR Native Noise Presents: Orlando Rocks! with The Dev, Bobby Keller, Copper Bones, NoSelf 8 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $13-$40; 407-934-2583.

SATURDAY, JAN. 7

Adolfo Mendonça 7:30 pm; Timucua Arts Foundation, 2000 S. Summerlin Ave.; $25; 407-595-2713.

Breed, Felicity, Until I Die, Midnight Vice, Counter Attack 6:30 pm; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; all ages; $13; 407-704-6261.

Flying Raccoon Suit, Control This, Pangolin, Tom Solo 8 pm; Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave.; $10-$15.

The Long Run: Tribute to the Eagles 7:30 pm; Ritz Theater at the Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $23-$30; 407-321-8111.

Phil DeGreg Group 8 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $25; 407-636-9951.

The Power of Music: Jeff Coffin, Victor Wooten, Nir Felder and Keith Carlock Masterclass featuring Grammy-winning saxophonist Jeff Coffin (Dave Matthews Band, Bela Fleck & the Flecktones), Grammy-winning bassist Victor Wooten (Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, Bass Extremes), guitarist Nir Felder

HEAR IT. SEE IT. LIVE IT.

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PHOTO COURTESY THE ROBOTS Robotica Destructiva screens at the Enzian on Friday, Jan. 6

(Esperanza Spalding) and drummer Keith Carlock (Steely Dan). 1 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $25-$50; 407-636-9951.

Saved by the ’90s 8 pm; House of Blues, Disney Springs, Lake Buena Vista; $15-$65; 407-934-2583.

SUNDAY, JAN. 8

Central Florida Jazz Society presents: Brendan Lanighan Octet 3 pm; Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park; $20-$35; 407-636-9951.

Goatwhore, Caveman Cult, Heraklieon 7 pm; The Conduit, 6700 Aloma Ave., Winter Park; $20; 407-673-2712.

The UK Tribute Tour 5 pm; Ace Cafe, 100 W. Livingston St.; all ages; $15-$25; 407-996-6686.

MONDAY, JAN. 9

Open Mic Hip-Hop Cypher-style open mic with featured MCs. 9:30 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364.

FILM

Freaky Fridays: The Killer Robots! Robotica Destructiva Orlando’s Killer Robots are back! A trio of android warrior sisters are awakened from a 10,000-year sleep to do battle with mechanized warlords and other assorted killer robots. 11:59 pm Friday, Jan. 6; Enzian Theater, 1300 S. Orlando Ave., Maitland; $11; 407-629-1088; enzian.org.

Ritz Movie Classics: Psycho A secretary ends up at a secluded motel after stealing money from her employer, and the motel’s ownermanager is a very bad host. 7:26 pm Thursday, Jan. 5; Ritz Theater at the Wayne Densch Performing Arts Center, 201 S. Magnolia Ave., Sanford; $5; 407-321-8111; ritztheatersanford.com.

THEATER

C.S Lewis: Further Up and Further In 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 8; Steinmetz Hall, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $49-$99; 407-358-6603; drphillipscenter.org.

Gothic Manor Spend a lavish evening in the ballroom of a Victorian-era manor in this immersive experience. Tuesday-Sunday, Jan. 10-15; The Abbey, 100 S. Eola Drive; $20-$40; 407-704-6261; abbeyorlando.com.

Sleeping Beauty Orlando Ballet tackles the problematic fairy tale. 5 pm Saturday, Jan. 7; Steinmetz Hall, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $49.50-$85; 407-358-6603; drphillipscenter.org.

Tina: The Tina Turner Musical What’s love got to do with it? Tuesday-Sunday, Jan. 10-15; Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; 844513-2014; drphillipscenter.org.

COMEDY

Duel of Fools Two teams of professional improvisers compete for laughs with audience judges selected at the start of the show. Fridays and Saturdays, 7 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $20; 407-648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

King of the Hill Seven professional ensemble members compete to win the coveted spot atop the hill. Fridays and Saturdays, 9 pm; SAK Comedy Lab, 29 S. Orange Ave.; $20; 407648-0001; sakcomedylab.com.

Mama’s Comedy Show Fridays, 8 pm; Sleuths Mystery Dinner Theater, 8267 International Drive; $15; 407-3631985; mamascomedyshow.com.

Open Mic Comedy With Craig Norberg Comedy open mic for aspiring comedians. Sundays, 8 pm; Austin’s Coffee, 929 W. Fairbanks Ave., Winter Park; free; 407-975-3364; austinscoffee.com.

ART

The Art of Orlando Music History

Locally themed music history exhibit featuring album art, show posters and other memorabilia. DJ sets from Preston Rockwell III. 6 pm Sunday, Jan. 8; Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road; 407-623-3393.

EVENTS

History Alive! Florida’s Pioneering Spirit Visitors engage with history through interactive experiences and themed hands-on activities the whole family can enjoy. 10 am Saturday, Jan. 7; Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd.; $8; 407836-8500; thehistorycenter.org.

Love Out Loud 5K Orlando Center for Justice’s run/walk event where participants can express their love for our community and support a local nonprofit organization. 8 am Saturday, Jan. 7; Harbor Park in Baldwin Park, 4990 New Broad St.; $30; 407-279-1802.

Noon Friday, Jan. 6; Orange County Regional History Center, 65 E. Central Blvd.; $13; 407-836-8500; thehistorycenter.org.

Neil deGrasse Tyson A talk on the search for (other?) life in the universe. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 8; Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave.; $49.50-$250; 844-513-2014; drphillipscenter.org.

Neverland: The Lost Adventure Follow the second star to the right and straight on ’til morning and learn to fly in an allnew immersive experience. Jan. 1-March 1; Harry P. Leu Gardens, 1920 N. Forest Ave.; 407-246-2620; leugardens.org.

Priscilla Presley Meet the legendary icon and learn more about her life and career in person. Fine wine and food included. 5:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 5; The Vineyard Wine Bar & Healthy Bistro, 4848 S. Apopka Vineland Road; $750; 407-

Simply Clean Expo Sneakers, vintage apparel, collectible items, Hot Wheels, Pokémon cards, baseball cards, Funko Pops and more. 6 pm Sunday, Jan. 8; Orlando Science Center, 777 E. Princeton St.; $15; 407-5142000; simplycleanevents.com.

HOLIDAY

Asian Lantern Festival: Into the Wild Dozens of larger-than-life, hand-crafted lanterns that are lit by thousands of LED lights, resulting in a gorgeous display of color, light and sound. Through Jan. 8, 6 pm; Central Florida Zoo & Botanical Gardens, 3755 W. Seminole Blvd., Sanford; $19.99-$21.99; 407323-4450; centralfloridazoo.org.

New Year’s Brunch Bottomless mimosa bar included in ticket, food buffet, drinks for sale. 11 am Sunday, Jan. 1; The Veranda at Thornton Park, 707 E. Washington St.; $100-$125; 336-491-8489; verandaevents.com. n

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Lunch and Learn: A Century of the Orlando Public Library In celebration of the 100-year anniversary of the Orange County Library System. 909-9522; thevineyardorlando.com. PHOTO BY JIM LEATHERMAN Virginity plays Will’s Pub on Friday, Jan. 6
28 ORLANDO WEEKLY ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● orlandoweekly.com

“GETTING IT”

When I first got engaged to my wife, I tried to ease into a conversation about cuckolding, but it went poorly. I tried to broach the subject by telling her monogamy wasn’t a requirement for me and she got upset. She thought I wanted to have sex with other women. I do not. I reassured her of that fact and dropped the subject, but she still doesn’t believe me. Whenever she’s feeling insecure, she brings up that conversation from five years ago. I don’t know you at all and this is anonymous, so I have no reason to lie: I do not want to have sex with women other than my wife. I want her to have sex with other men. I want to be her cuckold. I want her to cheat on me. I have seen some married men online who are living the life I dream about (if the stuff they post about being cuckolds is true). I get depressed knowing some men have what I want. How did they get it? How do I get it? Do I risk raising the subject of monogamy again?

I got on Twitter — perhaps for the last time — to track down one of the guys you mentioned, i.e., one of the guys living the life you dream about and posting the proof all over his social media accounts. His handle on Twitter is @CyclicCycle, his wife’s handle is @Miss_On_Top. He managed to get what you want. So, how did he get it? And how can you?

“The short answer: With a lot of communication, literature, podcasts and patience,” says Cycle.

Cycle was never a jealous person. If anything, he was the opposite of jealous. “Even before cuckolding was integrated into my mental lexicon,” Cycle says, “things like other guys hitting on my girlfriend or buying her drinks were huge turn-ons for me.”

Eventually Cycle met the woman who would become his wife, and while they enjoyed a varied and pretty kinky sex life, cuckolding wasn’t always a part of it. But when Cycle decided to broach the subject, he was honest and direct — in other words, DREAM, he didn’t make the mistake you did. He didn’t speak about non-monogamy generally, but about his emerging interest in cuckolding specifically. He didn’t ease into the conversation, he jumped in.

“Now, it wasn’t a massive stretch to get to cuckolding from our already kinky lifestyle,” Cycle says. “And while I think it helped that we approached the topic more from a kink perspective than a non-monogamous perspective at first, even then we also didn’t go from zero to 60 in an instant.”

Zooming out …

When you look at the social media accounts of guys who are in successful cuckold relationships — when you beat off

looking at their accounts — you need to remember that you’re seeing their most recent posts first. Meaning, you’re seeing where they arrived, DREAM, and not where they started.

Zooming in …

You brought up non-monogamy, not cuckolding, and somehow thought your wife, instead of thinking what most people would when their partner broached the subject of non-monogamy (“He wants to fuck other people!”), you hoped your wife would either react so positively you felt you could pivot to your non-monogamy-adjacent kink (“I want you to fuck other people!”) or even that she might leap to the opposite of the likeliest conclusion (“He wants me to fuck other people!?!”). And that is one, not how it works, and two, not how you get what you want.

“I recall discussing with my wife that we could make up our own rules, and build our own ‘à la carte’ dynamic,” Cycle says, “which made her feel much more comfortable. It also didn’t hurt that chastity was already part of our kink repertoire. We eventually progressed to a more traditional FLR/ Cuckolding dynamic, but we allowed it time to develop organically.” (FLR = “female-led relationship.”)

Cycle’s wife had a lot of reservations about opening up their relationship, DREAM, even though they were only opening things up — per Cycle’s desires — on her side. So, they started out slow with a lot of fantasy play and dirty talk before moving on to lowstakes/light-hearted/baby-step “first dates” with other men. Only after they both felt comfortable with the cuckold dynamic in theory did they move on to cuckolding — Cycle’s wife having sex with other men — in actual practice.

And it wasn’t just about what Cycle wanted for himself, DREAM, but about what Cycle wanted for his wife and, more importantly, about what his wife wanted for herself.

“When my wife and I first started dating, I had already had significantly more partners,” Cycle says. “So, one of the most genuine things I wanted for my wife was for her to have more experiences with other partners. Suffice to say, cuckolding for us is much more about fulfilling her wants, needs and desires.”

My partner and I have known each other for 10 years. We fell madly in love, had a rich erotic and sexual relationship, and have explored ethical non-monogamy together. In the past year there was a shift — a lessening of passion that I mistakenly attributed to a lack of desire for me. Then my wife started seeing a therapist, which subsequently brought her Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) to the surface. Previously she was

able to keep it hidden; she only occasionally let on that she was unhappy with herself. We had been seeing a therapist together to discuss the ENM aspect of our relationship, but she asked me not to bring her BDD into these sessions. Recently, she decided it was too painful to continue. We have had two private conversations about it, and in the last one she took PIV off the table. Being seen or touched naked is just too painful/ shameful for her. In-depth relationship communication is not a strength for us — based partly on the shame, pain and guilt over this disorder, as well as other cumulative traumas from her past. We love each other very much and I have committed to being a strong and supportive partner. Based on this limited information, Dan, can you offer suggestions to help me manage this challenge? I don’t want to make things worse or create more problems, but I want my lover back.

You haven’t lost your lover. She’s still in your life and you’re still having some kind of sex — I mean, I assume you’re still having some kind of sex. You specifically mention your partner taking PIV off the table, along with … well, along with any other kind of sexual contact that requires her to be seen and/ or touched naked, which wouldn’t leave a lot on the table. But I have to assume something was left on the table, LOST, however meager, otherwise you would’ve said your partner cut off all sexual contact. But you didn’t say that … so I’m going to assume that hasn’t happened … at least not yet.

Your partner clearly has a lot of work to do in therapy, LOST, and you can be supportive while also being clear about your own needs/ expectations/hopes for your future together — a future where you hope to reconnect sexually. If your partner isn’t comfortable talking about your reasonable needs/expectations/ hopes in any depth — or if she experiences your reasonable needs/expectations/hopes as coercive — taking a break from your rela-

tionship while she does the work may be in her own best interests.

Why — why, why, why — do young cis gay dudes insist on calling their assholes “cunts” and “pussies” these days? I heard you talking about this on your podcast. As a woman with an actual vagina, I find this incredibly offensive and want it to STOP.

Your Assholes NOT Of Pussies’ Equal

Back when I was a young cis gay dude, YANOPE, most young cis gay dudes objected — vociferously — to any suggestion that their assholes resembled, in form or function, women’s pussies. And most didn’t want their assholes associated with female genitalia because they thought lady parts were disgusting and, even worse, they didn’t care who knew it. Now, young gay men are much better about vulvas and vaginas — some even fuck/date/marry other gay and bi men who have vulvas and vaginas — and they don’t care who knows it.

So, what I’m basically saying here, YANOPE, is pick your poison: cis gay dudes who think pussy is icky and gross and will angrily reject any comparison/association, or cis gay dudes who think pussy is powerful and amazing and will happily make the comparison/association themselves. The choice seems obvious to me.

P.S. It has been my experience — ahem — that younger gay men mostly do the thing you’re complaining about during sex. They don’t do it during Zoom meetings or when they’re having dinner with their lesbian pals. So I don’t see how this impacts you. Even if it did, YANOPE, you can’t control what other people say during sex — with the exception of people you’re having sex with — and attempting to dictate terms is a waste of time.

Send your burning questions to mailbox@savage.love. Find podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love.

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Legal, Public Notices

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA.

JUVENILE DIVISION: 07/HIGBEE CASE NO: DP22-64, IN THE INTEREST OF Minor Child: B. G. DOB: 01/12/2020. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS, STATE OF FLORIDA. TO: Zuleika Bruno-Aponte Address Unknown: A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child. You are hereby commanded to appear before Honorable judge Heather Higbee on January 20, 2023, at 9:00 a.m. at the Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES A CONSTRUCTIVE CONSENT TO THE TPR PETITION OF THE CHILD(REN) AND COULD RESULT IN THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THE CHILD(REN). WITNESS my hand and seal of this Court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 14th day of December, 2022. This summons has been issued at the request of: George Lytle, Esquire Florida Bar No.: 985465 Orlando, FL 32801 George.Lytle@myflfamilies.com, CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk. (Court Seal)

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA. JUVENILE DIVISION: 3/TYNAN CASE NO.: DP14-304 IN THE INTEREST OF MINOR CHILD: A.H. DOB: 08/19/2006. NOTICE OF ACTION FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS STATE OF FLORIDA TO: Hyacinth Hall (Address Unknown) A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above-referenced child. You are hereby commanded to appear before Honorable Circuit Judge Greg A. Tynan on January 20, 2023 at 9:00 a.m. at the Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. The Hearing will be conducted in person.

FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THIS CHILD. IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED, YOU MIGHT LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD NAMED IN THE PETITION. WITNESS my hand and seal of this Court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 5th day of December, 2022. This

summons has been issued at the request of: Jennifer McCarthy, Esq., Florida Bar No.: 0086793, Senior Attorney for State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, Children’s Legal Services/DCF Jennifer.McCarthy@myflfamilies.com.

By: /s/ CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT, Deputy Clerk (Court Seal)

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR OSCEOLA COUNTY, FLORIDA JUVENILE DIVISION: 41 CASE NO.: 2022-DP-14 IN THE INTEREST OF MINOR CHILDREN: A.M. DOB: 01/06/2017 S.M. DOB: 11/28/2018 K.M. DOB: 08/06/2021 NOTICE OF ACTION (TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS) TO: LAURA BANCROFT Address Unknown YOU ARE HEREBY NOTIFIED that the State of Florida, Department of Children and Families, has filed a Petition to terminate your parental rights and permanently commit the following children for adoption: A.M., born on January 6th , 2017; S.M., born on November 28th , 2018; and K.M., born on August 6th , 2021. A copy of the Petition is on file with the Clerk of the Court. You are hereby commanded to appear on February 27th , 2023, at 3:00 P.M., before the Honorable Laura Shaffer, Juvenile Division, Courtroom 4C, at the Osceola County Courthouse, 2 Courthouse Square, Kissimmee, FL 34741, for an ADVISORY HEARING. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS OF THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR ON THE DATE AND TIME SPECIFIED, YOU MAY LOSE ALL LEGAL RIGHTS AS A PARENT TO THE CHILD OR CHILDREN NAMED IN THIS NOTICE. If you are a person with a disability who needs any accommodation in order to participate in this proceeding, you are entitled, at no cost to you, to the provision of certain assistance. Please contact the ADA Coordinator, Court Administration, Osceola County Courthouse, 2 Courthouse Square, Suite 6300, Kissimmee, Florida 34741, (407) 742-2417 at least 7 days before your scheduled court appearance, or immediately upon receiving this notification if the time before the scheduled appearance is less than 7 days; if you are hearing or voice impaired, call 711. WITNESS my hand as Clerk of said Court and the Seal thereof, this 16th day of December, 2022. Kelvin Soto, as Clerk of Court By: /s/ As Deputy Clerk

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA Case No.: 2022 DR 8425. WIDTZ CADET, Petitioner / Mother, and JERMAINE ANTONIO MURRAY, Respondent / Father. NOTICE OF ACTION FOR ESTABLISHMENT OF PATERNITY CASE TO: JERMAINE ANTONIO MURRAY LAST KNOWN: 2327 Outfield Dr., Orlando, FL 32837 YOU ARE NOTIFIED that an action has been filed against you and that you are required to serve a copy of your written defenses, if any, to it on Kaitlin Newton-John, Esq., whose address is 2431 Aloma Ave, Suite 124, Winter Park, FL 32792, on or before the 1st day of February, 2023, and file the original with the clerk of this Court at Orange County Courthouse, 425 N Orange Ave, Orlando, FL 32801, before service on Petitioner or immediately thereafter. If you fail to do so, a default may be entered against you for the relief demanded in the Petition. The action is asking the Court to decide custody of a minor child, taking into consideration the factors enumerated in Florida Statutes, Section 61.13(3). Copies of all court documents in this case, including orders,

are available at the Clerk of the Circuit Court’s office. You may review these documents upon request. You must keep the Clerk of the Circuit Court’s office noti fied of your current address. (You may file Designation of Current Mailing and E-Mail Address, Florida Supreme Court Approved Family Law Form 12.915.) Future papers in this lawsuit will be mailed or emailed to the addresses on record at the clerk’s office. WARNING: Rule 12.285, Florida Family Law Rules of Procedure, requires certain automatic disclosure of documents and information. Failure to comply can result in sanctions, including dismissal or striking of pleadings. Dated:10/4/2022. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT COURT By: /s/ Felicia Sanders, Deputy Clerk. 425 N Orange Ave, Suite 320, Orlando, FL 32801.

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT, IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY, FLORIDA. DIVISION: 7/HIGBEE CASE NO.: DP18-325 In the Interest of: E.O DOB: 07/03/2015, minor child. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS, STATE OF FLORIDA. TO: ALEJANDRO ORDONEZ, ADDRESS UNKNOWN. A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above - referenced child, you are hereby commanded to appear before The Honorable Judge Heather Higbee on Tuesday, January 24, 2023 at 9:00 a.m. in court room 6 at the Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, FL 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEAR ING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified: In Person. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THIS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES CONSENT TO THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS OF THIS CHILD (OR CHILDREN). IF YOU FAIL TO APPEAR YOU MAY BE HELD IN CONTEMPT OF COURT. WITNESS my hand and seal of this court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 15th day of December, 2022. This summons has been issued at the request of: KIRSTEN TEANY, Esquire, Florida Bar No.: 0981540, Attorney for Department of Children and Families, Kirsten.Teany@myflfamilies.com. CLERK OF THE CIRCUIT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk (Court Seal)

orlandoweekly.com ● JAN. 4-10, 2023 ● ORLANDO

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WEEKLY

Legal, Public Notices

ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISFY OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 8:00am and RUNS CONTINOUSLY. U-Haul Moving & Storage of Ocoee: 11410 W Colonial Dr, Ocoee, FL 34761 January 19, 2023 2221

Miguel Hernandez, 1518 Candice Clark, 2554 Naomi Thames, 1633 ANTONIO WILLIAMS, 2406 Kay Mathis, 1546 Cezilia Perez, 2315 LINDA BARDEN, 1718 Salem Jungwirth, 1016 Charles Brooks, 1403 Timothy Horton, 3016 Jacqueline bridges, 3474 JAAZIEL LUGO PEREZ, 1028 WILLIAM HEFLIN, 1628 Kay Mathis.

U-Haul Moving & Storage of Clermont: 13650 Granville Ave, Clermont, FL 34711 January 19, 2023 1019 Rigoberto Arauz Justavino, 1002 EARL WILLIAMS, 1070 Ruben Richardson, 1074 Deborah Huffman, 2051 Toneicia Chisholm, 1100 anthony scaraggi, 1043 Roxanne Eadie.

U-Haul Moving & Storage of Kirkman: 600 S Kirkman Rd, Orlando, FL 32811

January 19, 2023 2094 Jaliyah Burgess, 2060 Joevany Kersaint, 1056 danielle gentry, 2076 ALLAN PERDOMO, 1055 courtney gray, 3003 WANDA JONES, 3090 Zantisha Farrington, 1008 Azi Nelson, 6006 TANISHA WELLS, 1080 Jessika Ogie, 3122 Antar Rackley, 2040 Mike Richardson, 2102 Audrey Alexander, 2009 Luis Abreu, 3078 SYLVAIN EXAVIER, 8008 Sandra Bryan, 4022 Bridget Williams, 6025 CARMEN MALDONADO, 3073 Shantele Watson, 2057 Misha Joseph, 1016 Tammi Jones, 3082 LAQUANDA MCMILLAN, 6001 Telesha Leavy, 8001 ROSLYN GIBBS, 6062 Brittany Snipes, 2085 Jeffirey Nunez, 3092 ARNALDO MARTINEZ TORRES.

Notice of Public Sale

Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com ending on January 13th, 2023 at 11:00

AM for units located at: Compass Self Storage 3498 Canoe Creek Rd St. Cloud, FL 34772. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase.

Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances, unless otherwise noted. A192- Star Scott B156- Rhonda Tessmer B177- Lisa Johnson C126- Samantha Cundiff D107Christopher Wilson E120- Shaun Flack E136- Rebecca Raisor

Notice of Public Sale

Notice is hereby given that Value Store It 27, will sell the contents of the storage units listed below at a public auction to satisfy a lien placed on the contents (pursuant to Chapter 83 of the Florida Statutes). The sales will take place on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023 The sale will be conducted under the direction of Christopher Rosa (AU4167) on behalf of the facilities management. Units will be available for viewing prior to the sale on www.storagetreasures. com. Contents will be sold for cash only to the highest bidder. A 10% buyer’s premium will be charged as well as a $50 cleaning deposit per unit. All sales are final. Seller reserves the right to

withdraw the property at any time before the sale or to refuse any bids. No one under 16 years old is permitted to bid. The property to be sold is described as “General Household Items” “Personal Property” unless otherwise noted. Unit # – Name – Description. Value Store It 27 at 1700 Celebration Blvd, Celebration, FL. 34747 will list storage units on www.storagetreasures.com at 9:00 AM: 1026-Nicole Jackson;1077-Enrique Henriquez/Enrique Abraham Henriquez Cardona/LOS CIPOTESS LLC;1084-Dede Esther Chancelor;2039-Glenda Ivelisse Ramirez Rivera/Glemda Ivelisse Ramirez Rivera;2051-Katrina Krueger;3105-Jose Granai/Jose Osmar Granai Junior;6087Daniel Leonard Layton Value Store It 36 at 1480 Celebration Blvd, Celebration, FL 34747 will list storage units on www.storagetreasures.com at 5:00 PM: 2141-Hailee Rafferty, 3162-Edith Kristine Hammer, 2101- Charmae McGee, 3113-Angie Florentina, 2233-Mirelis Yarixa Rivera Ramos, ,3157-Kyle J. Jakacki, 1003-Christopher C. White, 1006-Kevin J. Condon, 3124-John Navas, 2035- Bernadette Kersting, 2162- Jay Wilkinson, 1155-Hubert Higgs

Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that Storage King USA at 4601 S Orange Blossom Trail Orlando, FL 32839 will sell the contents of the storage units listed below at a public auction to satisfy a lien placed on the contents (pursuant to Chapter 83 of the Florida Statutes). The sale will take place at the website StorageTreasures. com on January 18th, 2023, at 9:00 am. The sale will be conducted under the direction of Christopher Rosa (AU4167) and StorageTreasures.com on behalf of the facility’s management. Units will be available for viewing prior to the sale on StorageTreasures.com. Contents will be sold for cash only to the highest bidder. A 15% buyer’s premium will be charged as well as a $100 cleaning deposit per unit. All sales are final. Seller reserves the right to withdraw the property at any time before the sale or to refuse any bids. The property to be sold is described as “general household items” unless otherwise noted. Pablo S. Isaac – 0C044, Wisly Accius – 0F018, Kendia J. Surin – 0F019, Francisco De La Cruz – 0H001, Keith Marcell Williams – 0H031, Aaron Lang – 0I021.

Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com ending on January 13, 2023 at 11:00 am for units located at: Compass Self Storage 203 Neighborhood Market Rd. Orlando, FL 32825 Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase. Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances. Unless Otherwise noted. 1177- Peggy West 2082-Cinamon Toon 3069-Karl Jeudy 3155-Jonathan Perez 3178-Gloribel Rivera 3200-Savannah Trinidad 3215-Brandon Whyte.

Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www. storagetreasures.com ending on January 13th, 2023 at 11:00 am for units located at: Compass Self Storage 14120 East Colonial Drive Orlando, Fl 32826

Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase. Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances. 1212-Johnathan Simek 1325-Denny Ewing 1425-Shawn Wilbanks 1518-Denny Ewing 1603-Alfredo Otero 1709-Divine Dukes 1707-Linda Torregrosa Caraballo 1720-Bob J.Selby 1811-Jeremy Sharritt 2512-Melanie Gomez.

Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that Value Store It 29 – Ocoee will sell the contents of the storage units listed below at a public auction to satisfy a lien placed on the contents (pursuant to Chapter 83 of the Florida Statutes). The sales will take place on Tuesday, January 17th, 2023. The sale will be conducted under the direction of Christopher Rosa (AU4167) on behalf of the facilities management. Units will be available for viewing prior to the sale on www.storagetreasures.com. Contents will be sold for cash only to the highest bidder. A 10% buyer’s premium will be charged as well as a $50 cleaning deposit per unit. All sales are final. Seller reserves the right to withdraw the property at any time before the sale or to refuse any bids. No one under 16 years old is permitted to bid. The property to be sold is described as “General Household Items” “Personal Property” unless otherwise noted. Unit # – Name – Description. Value Store It 29 at 1251 Fountains West Blvd, Ocoee, FL 34761 will list storage units on www.storagetreasures.com at 11:00 AM A010 Glenda Ferdinand;A011 Glenda Ferdinand;B135E Lasheinda Laguerre;B153 Johnathan Maurice Ford;C017 Krienkisha Meyata Payne;C067 Jamiral Aundreia Walker.

Notice of Public Sale: Pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on January 20th, 2023 at 9:00 am, Riker’s Roadside Of Central Florida, INC, 630 E Landstreet Rd, Orlando, FL 32824, will sell the following vehicles and/or vessels. Seller reserves the right to bid. Sold as is, no warranty. Seller guarantees no title, terms cash. Seller reserves the right to refuse any or all bids; KMHTC6AD3DU165012 2013 / HYUN 5FNYF18268B040142 2008 / HOND 2T1BURHE6FC433192 2015 / TOYT 3KPF24AD9LE202943 2020 / KIA

Notice of Public Sale: Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com ending on January 13th, 2023 at 11:00 am for units located at: Compass Self Storage 2435 W SR 426 , Oviedo, FL 32765 Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase.

Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances 0001 – David Godkin 0003 – David Godkin 0014 – David Godkin 0543 – David Godkin 0006 – Morgan Brothers, INC 0007 –Morgan Brothers, INC 495A – John Morgan.

NOTICE OF SALE

Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale:

2009 Toyota

VIN: JTDKB20U593466343

2018 Nissan VIN: KNMAT2MV7JP522498

2018 Hyundai VIN: 5NPD74LF5JH328684

2011 Nissan VIN: 1N4AL2AP7BN495148

2010 Nissan VIN: 1N4AA5AP8AC863564

2008 Chevrolet

VIN: 1G1ZS58F58F124516

2001 Ford VIN: 1FTNE24261HB56626

2018 Nissan

VIN: 3N1AB7AP3JL618584

To be sold at auction at 8:00 am. on January 18, 2023 at 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC

NOTICE OF SALE

ADVERTISEMENT OF SALE NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned intends to sell the personal property described below to enforce a lien imposed on said property under The Florida Self Storage Facility Act. Bidding takes place on lockerfox.com and concludes Friday the 13th day of January, 2023 at 9:00 AM with payment following in CASH at the facility. Store Space Millenia, 4912 S. John Young Pkwy, Orlando, FL, 32839 Drexler, Timothy Household ItemsGoods; Vil, Adelyne Household Items; Ward, Shakira Household items; Leitchmore, Kimberly Household ItemsGoods; Castellanos, Allan Household ItemsGoods; peres, katiusca Household ItemsGoods. Store Space Sanford - Storage, 3980 E. Lake Mary Blvd., Sanford, FL, 32773. Starke, Lucas House Hold Goods; Johnson, Zachary Hold Goods; Marimon, Johnneia House Hold Goods; Davis, Raujon House Hold Goods; Picone, Richard House Hold Goods. Purchases must be paid for at the time of purchase by cash only. All purchased items are sold as is, where is, and must be removed at the time of the sale. Sale is subject to cancellation in the event of settlement between owner and obligated party. Run dates 12/28/22 and 1/4/23.

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