Riverfront Times, July 14, 2021 by Chava Communications

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MARCH 6-12, 2019

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THE LEDE

“It would be great if it could be open in the summertime for roller skating every day, because why not? Not just Monday night. I mean, what else is it doing? Just sitting there. And it would be a good place for the kids to come and give them something to do like it did back in my day. You know, give them something honest to do — off the street. This is a great place. I mean it would be booming, lit up! This is an awesome place for young people. Any people.”

PHOTO BY THEO WELLING

ROBIN JOHNSON OF ST. LOUIS, PHOTOGRAPHED AT STEINBERG SKATING RINK IN FOREST PARK ON MONDAY, JULY 5 riverfronttimes.com

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Outsider Journalism

omething that more newspapers should do is to send reporters to cover stories off their normal beats. It shakes things up, and the results usually feel fresh. They spot the weird stuff that others look past. Daniel Hill, who usually handles all things music for the RFT, recently spent two Saturdays covering Senate campaign rallies for far-right avatars, first Mark McCloskey and now Eric Greitens. I wish I could say it was my genius idea, but Daniel sent himself and turned in two of the best-written, most sharply observed political pieces I’ve read in a long time. Read his latest on Greitens in this week’s issue. It’s part of a strong paper, which includes a reported essay on Record Store Day from former longtime record store employee and current RFT intern Jack Probst. And don’t miss food critic Cheryl Baehr who proves there are benefits of letting expert reporters do what they do best. —Doyle Murphy, editor in chief

TABLE OF CONTENTS Publisher Chris Keating Editor in Chief Doyle Murphy

E D I T O R I A L Digital Editor Jaime Lees Interim Managing Editor Daniel Hill Staff Writer Danny Wicentowski Contributors Cheryl Baehr, Eric Berger, Jeannette Cooperman, Mike Fitzgerald, Ryan Krull, Andy Paulissen, Justin Poole, Theo Welling, Ymani Wince Columnists Thomas Chimchards, Ray Hartmann Editorial Interns Zoë Butler, Holden Hindes, Erin McAfee, Jack Probst, Victor Stefanescu A R T

& P R O D U C T I O N Art Director Evan Sult Production Manager Haimanti Germain M U L T I M E D I A A D V E R T I S I N G Advertising Director Colin Bell Account Managers Emily Fear, Jennifer Samuel Multimedia Account Executive Chuck Healy Digital Sales Manager Chad Beck Director of Public Relations Brittany Forrest

COVER Record Score Day

C I R C U L A T I O N Circulation Manager Kevin G. Powers

Stripped to its core, Record Store Day is about the music

E U C L I D M E D I A G R O U P Chief Executive Officer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services Stacy Volhein www.euclidmediagroup.com

Cover photo by

ERIN MCAFEE

N A T I O N A L A D V E R T I S I N G VMG Advertising 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com

INSIDE The Lede Hartmann News Big Mad Feature Cafe Short Orders Reeferfront Times Culture Calendar Savage Love 6

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HARTMANN Thanks, Governor Missouri humiliated on COVID-19 response, again BY RAY HARTMANN

overnor Mike Parson owns this. As of this writing, Missouri suffers the highest rate of new COVID-19 hospitalizations in America. It has the second-highest rate of new cases per capita. It has the fourth-highest rate of new deaths. Joplin tops the list of all U.S. cities in the rates of both new cases and hospitalizations in the database maintained by the New York Times. And of the ten municipalities with the highest hospitalization rates, eight are from Missouri. In Springfield, the fire chief last week employed the phrase “mass casualty event” to describe a recent rash of deaths, accompanied by a shortage of lifesaving medical equipment. The situation is so bad that the federal government deployed a surge team to the city. Polk County — where Parson served as sheriff for twelve years — is listed as the sixth-hardest-hit county in the nation. The ravages of the virus — exacerbated by the lethal intersection of low vaccination rates and the spread of the Delta variant — has hit quite close to home for Parson. Even as he pretends it’s not a thing. From Day One of the pandemic, Parson’s science denial and dereliction of duty have been among the most glaring of any governor in the nation. Were there a mostclueless award handed out, he might walk off with the trophy. For now, Parson is getting national attention for his most recent malfeasance. As soon as the surge team hit the ground in Springfield, Parson donned his rhetorical overalls and shotgunned the following out: “I have directed our health department to tell the federal government that sending employees or agents door-to-door to compel vaccination would NOT be an ef-

fective OR welcome strategy in Missouri,” he tweeted. Well, of course not. You keep your dang vaccines off our property, Mr. Know-It-All Federal Government. Missourians haven’t been this proud since at least four weeks ago when this weak Gomer Pyle impersonator told federal law enforcement that they, too, were not welcome to enforce their gun laws in the sovereign state of Missouri. Regarding door-to-door vaccinations, however, it should be noted that Parson’s spokesperson pathetically attempted to walk back his words after not finding an “untweet” button: “We do not have an email or message sent to the federal government regarding these efforts,” she told the Kansas City Star after he was spanked publicly by the White House. But at least the story has stayed consistently pathetic. Consider just some of what Parson has either failed to do — or been among the last to do — among the nation’s governors with respect to the COVID-19 pandemic. In the very earliest stages of the crisis on March 20, 2020 — eleven days after the first COVID-19 case was announced in Missouri — Parson cited “personal responsibility” as the answer. While other states were shutting down or enacting dramatic measures, Parson banned gatherings of more than ten people — churches and government events exempted — and emphasized he would not shut down businesses. At about that time, Parson refused to order schools to shut down, even as virtually all other Midwestern governors were taking that very step. It took an action from state educators to make that happen, not Parson. On April 1, 2020, with Missouri cases having spiked 600 percent in the previous week, the Star editorialized, “Parson’s hands-off attitude has made Missouri an outlier of inaction, too: Only Parson and three other governors — in Iowa, Nebraska and Tennessee — have failed to issue a statewide stay-athome order, or a statewide order to close non-essential services, or a statewide school closure order.” Here’s more from the Star: “By May 4, Missouri was, as Parson said, wide open for business again. Ignoring public health ad-

vice, he skipped right over opening in stages and ignored CDC guidelines by not wearing a mask while touring businesses in Joplin and Springfield that day. ‘I chose not to,’ he explained. ‘I don’t think that it is government’s role to mandate who wears one. It really goes back to your personal responsibility.” “There was a lot of information on both sides,” of the question of whether we all ought to wear one, he said, hopelessly flubbing his own responsibility. “We believe we are on the downside of this virus,” he added. Later in May 2020, Missouri led the international news with the disgrace we called Party Covid, when thousands of drunk revelers at the Lake of the Ozarks ran amok, flaunting all social distancing. About the only public official not outraged was Parson, who hid from the media all weekend. Perhaps the signature moment of Parson’s ineptitude — his Gettysburg address for stupid people — came on July 14, 2020, when he offered up these mind-numbing words at the height of the pandemic’s rage: “If you want to wear a dang mask, wear a mask.” The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, “While his administration has encouraged mask-wearing, Parson has declined to issue an order requiring masks in public places. “‘You don’t need government to tell you to wear a dang mask,’ Parson said to a cheering crowd over the weekend. His campaign posted pictures online of a maskless Parson interacting with the public.” Slightly more than two months later, the proud anti-masker and his wife Teresa contracted COVID-19. Once again, Parson did nothing to change public policy — and he uttered not a word of contrition or leadership. So it has gone throughout the pandemic, continuing to this day. One small example: Missouri doesn’t have a state health director. Since Dr. Randall Williams mercifully resigned three months ago — leaving a legacy limited to his fascination with the menstrual cycles of Missouri women — Parson hasn’t bothered replacing him AS A PANDEMIC RAGES ON! The acting “director” is longtime GOP political insider Robert

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Knodell, who was serving as Parson’s deputy chief of staff. It says all you need to know about Parson that he would turn to a political operative and not a medical expert to run his health department during a once-in-acentury public health crisis. And so does this, also reported in the Star last month: “Parson, who for months has stressed the importance of personal responsibility in combating the virus, took issue with a reporter’s question toward the end of his afternoon press briefing. “‘Do you feel any personal responsibility for the people who have been infected and don’t recover after you chose to reopen the state?’ asked KOMU reporter Caroline Dade. “‘I don’t even know where you come up with that question of personal responsibility as governor of the state of Missouri when you’re talking about a virus,’ Parson replied. ‘That’s no different than the flu virus or do I feel guilty because we have car accidents and people die every day. No, I don’t feel guilty about that.’” It doesn’t appear that anyone in the media bothered with a followup question about how that statement might square with Parson’s attempted victory lap last January during his State of the State speech. When things seemed under control, Parson somehow thought he was relevant to the story, unlike now. He rattled out a bunch of dubious claims to drive home how well the state had responded. No matter. That nonsense aside, his speech will always be remembered for these revealing immortal words: “Missouri has seen some difficult days in the past 200 years, from the Civil War, the Great Depression, women’s suffrage, civil rights to the COVID-19 crisis and countless other hardships, but through it all Missouri has prevailed.” Like I said, Parson owns this thing. n Ray Hartmann founded the Riverfront Times in 1977. Contact him at rhar tmann1952@gmail.com or catch him on Donnybrook at 7 p.m. on Thursdays on the Nine Network and St. Louis In the Know with Ray Hartmann from 9 to 11 p.m. Monday thru Friday on KTRS (550 AM).

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NEWS

[ D I S PAT C H ]

Greitens and Grifters The ex-governor tries desperately to duct tape himself to Trump during rally Written by

DANIEL HILL

isgraced former governor and exercise equipment enthusiast Eric Greitens held a political rally in Robertsville on Saturday, meaning that, for a few hours at least, it could reasonably be assumed he wasn’t actively sexually assaulting or blackmailing anyone. The former chief executive of the state of Missouri, who resigned in 2018 after being accused of doing just that, mostly treated the afternoon event as an audition for an endorsement from former president Donald Trump for U.S. Senator Roy Blunt’s soonto-be-vacated seat, despite recent reporting that Trump does not support him and is angry that anyone in his orbit does. In keeping, the entire affair amounted to a series of fevered hallucinations plucked straight from the former president’s own addled brain and presented in the direst of terms to a frothing crowd in the serene environs of a Franklin County wedding venue. There were warnings of the imminent destruction of the United States at the hands of the (lol) communists currently occupying the White House, dutiful hand-wringing over nonexistent election fraud and lamentations about the impending ban on the singing of “Amazing Grace” that’s apparently coming down the pike any day now. But even with the support of suspended attorney and sweatdrenched fountain of bullshit Rudy Giuliani, who also made an appearance at the event, Greitens is unlikely to persuade Trump. According to a Friday report from Politico, our dumbest former president has become increasing-

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Diehards gather in loose flocks, but ex-Governor Eric Greitens was really playing to an audience of one. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI ly angry that his son’s girlfriend and loud-talking nonsense factory Kimberly Guilfoyle is working for Greitens’ campaign and has flat-out said that he would not endorse Greitens if the primary were today. “Trump thinks Greitens is problematic, and that Kim is annoying,” one Trump adviser told the media outlet, summing up the opinion of millions. “He said, ‘Why the fuck is she working for him?’” At issue, apparently, is the very scandal that led to Greitens’ resignation from office. It’s become a source of consternation for establishment Republicans throughout the state and nation, who fear that his considerable baggage will cost them what should be a safe seat. Trump’s dissatisfaction probably comes from a different place, though; he tends to be less concerned about sexual abuse and corruption than he is about whether or not someone is a “loser” or a “quitter,” which are labels one can assume he applied to Greitens the second the latter chose to resign instead of attempting to overthrow the state government. But none of this was of any concern for the 150 or so die-hard Greitens fans in attendance at the Venue at Maison du Lac on Saturday. The small event space was actually the backup plan for the

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The terrible main course was preceded by a generous serving of batshit. | DANNY WICENTOWSKI rally, which was originally set to take place outdoors at a nearby ranch but was moved at the last minute due to the weather, sadly depriving us all of the chance to see Giuliani’s hair melt all over his face in the Missouri heat. A woman with a microphone assured the half-full venue that there would have been 600 to 700 attendees were it not for the change, which is confusing since the new location was only a two-minute drive

from the original and only has a capacity of 300 anyway. The rally kicked off with a prayer, as tends to be the way with these things. In the style of our lord Jesus Christ, a pastor took the mic and began lamenting the “militant Marxist groups” he claims are bringing “anarchy to our cities,” vowing to “defeat the enemy” with the help of the holy spirit and assuring the crowd Continued on pg 10

New Murder Charge, Scrutiny in Pam Hupp Case Written by

DANNY WICENTOWSKI

n Lincoln County, where prosecutors long believed in the innocence of Pamela Hupp, the 62-year-old is now facing her second murder charge — a killing which lies at the bottom of a mountain of schemes. But it’s not just Hupp facing a reckoning for the December 27, 2011, slaying of Betsy Faria, who was discovered dead on the floor of her home in Troy, Missouri, with a steak knife still lodged in her neck and more than 55 stab wounds on her body. In a press conference on Monday to announce the new charge, Lincoln County Prosecuting Attorney Michael ood said his office would seek the death penalty. He summarized the evidence, pointing to Hupp’s plan to kill Faria and then collect a $150,000 life insurance payout — a plan which Wood said “stands alone in its hideousness and depravity.” “Yet, prosecutors and investigators denied it all the same,” added Wood, who inherited the case when he took office three years ago. This was the introduction to the second act of the Wood’s newsmaking press conference, revealing not only a new murder charge against Hupp (who is already serving a life sentence for a murder she committed to cover up her role in Faria’s death) but the possible criminal complicity of the county’s former top prosecutors and law enforcement officials. While Wood did not name names during the press conference, he made it clear that this second branch of the investigation would target “potential prosecutorial and police misconduct in the Faria investigation.”

Pamela Hupp. | MISSOURI DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS That wasn’t all: Wood claimed his office had discovered an internal attempt to issue a “destruction order” that, if carried out, “would have almost destroyed all physical evidence in this case.” Wood did not provide further details about the destruction order, only that it was drafted at some point after 2015, but promised that his office would release a report after they complete their investigation at some point in early December. “I don’t know where this investigation will go,” he added, “but I will take it wherever it leads me.” In part, Wood is in his current position because of the Faria murder. In the 2018 election, he successfully campaigned against Leah Wommack Chaney, the prosecutor who oversaw the case and in 2013 convicted the victim’s husband, Russell Faria, who would spend years in prison while appealing the decision. Even after a court overturned the conviction because Russell Faria had been prevented from bringing evidence of a different perpetrator — Hupp — the Lincoln County Prosecutor’s Office insisted on his guilt and attempted to convict him yet again at a retrial. Instead, the attempt ended in an acquittal and affirmation of his innocence. On Monday, Wood described the initial investigation into Betsy Faria’s murder as “mismanaged from the beginning” and driven by “confirmation bias in its purest form” to produce a case against Russell Faria. In Wood’s statement, he appeared to suggest that the prosecutors at the time did more than

just focus their investigative efforts on the single subject, but even manipulated the evidence. “The only evidence they ever wanted to look at was anything they could possibly try to use, manufacture, conceal,” Wood noted. By the time of the second trial against Russell Faria in 2015, Wood said the Lincoln County prosecutors were acting out of self-protection, not justice for the murdered woman. “I think investigators and prosecutors doubled down because they knew how deep they had gotten,” he said. “At that point, you have to believe that they were concerned that their own civil liability was on the line, and certainly it was.” Indeed, the case produced a seven-figure settlement In , an insurance company representing Lincoln County settled a federal lawsuit from Russell Faria — who accused the county’s police of misconduct and fabricating evidence — for $2 million, the St. Louis PostDispatch reported at the time. The launch of a parallel investigation into Lincoln County’s 2013 prosecution of Russell Faria arrives at the same time that the current prosecutor’s office is gearing up to pursue its murder case against Hupp, who had been made the beneficiary of etsy aria’s insurance policy just four days before her death. Hupp had been the last person to see the victim alive, and, in later interviews with police, repeatedly contradicted herself on her whereabouts. Hupp’s phone also placed her at the scene of the murder. According to a probable cause document filed by the incoln County Sheriff’s Office in support of a first-degree murder charge, investigators described Hupp’s efforts to cover up the killing and pin it on Russell Faria: Citing the forensic evidence, the document describes a crime scene discovery of “an unusual blood transfer pattern on the handle” of the knife left protruding from Betsy Faria’s neck. The blood had come from the socks on the victim’s feet, but the results of a closer inspection of the bloodstained socks “resemble impressions of fingers and not toes. The killer, investigators allege, had actually removed the socks and then used them to handle the knife

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Wood said the prosecutors were acting out of selfprotection, not justice for the murdered woman. and a pair of slippers belonging to Russell Faria — and then “dipping the objects into the blood.” The apparent evidence implicating Russell Faria, including bloody knife and slippers, were “staged on the scene by the perpetrator to obstruct investigators from finding the truth and deflect blame,” the charges allege. Although the official investigation into the murder of Betsy Faria has taken nearly a decade to reach its accused perpetrator, Hupp is already serving a life sentence for yet another convoluted murder scheme: On August 16, 2016, Hupp killed a disabled man after convincing him that she was a producer for Dateline and that she was looking for someone to help reenact scenes for a crime-related episode. Instead, Hupp shot the man dead in St. Charles and planted a note and cash on his body in an attempt to fabricate yet another crime pointing to Russell Faria — who, by then, was loudly calling for an investigation into his wife’s real killer. Eventually, Hupp entered an “Alford plea” to murder — acknowledging that prosecutors had sufficient evidence for a conviction. In 2019, she was sentenced to a term of life in prison without parole. At the end of Monday’s press conference, Wood addressed a reporter’s question about his decision to seek the death penalty when the killer was already in prison for life. “This case struck very deep to our souls and our conscience with the level of depravity not regularly seen,” he replied. “We have a person who not only murdered her friend, then mutilated the body, staged the scene, testified against an innocent man, and then — once he was acquitted — murdered someone in St. Charles County to prevent her from being considered as a suspect.” n

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GREITENS

Continued from pg 8

that they would “right the election that was wrong” whereupon “the corruption will be exposed.” With the souls of the faithful now nourished by that most pious of prayers, we were then treated to renditions of “Amazing Grace” (take that, libs) and our absolute banger of a national anthem, for which no one dared kneel. From there it was a seemingly never-ending parade of far-right grifters and charlatans, starting with back-to-back-to-back talk radio hosts including Jamie Allman, who was fired from his gig in April 2018 after saying he was going to shove a hot poker up the ass of one of the kids who had survived the Parkland shooting just two months prior. That was followed up by a former state rep who recited the Declaration of Independence from memory, which appears to be a thing that political types think is fun. After that a woman screamed at us about abortion for a while, then a former Marine screamed at us about China and the flag and how women can’t fight methedout ISIS terrorists as well as men and how she is not to be addressed as “sir” because this is not “the transgender military.” Most noteworthy at this point was the confusing lack of chairs in the venue, forcing the mostly seniorcitizen crowd to stand for hours while having exhausting culturewar talking points barked at them endlessly. Roughly a thousand speakers later, we finally started getting to the headliners. Former New York City police commissioner and convicted felon Bernard Kerik served mostly as Giuliani’s warm-up act/ hype man, speaking gravely about the events of 9/11 and the heroics of the former mayor in a fairly transparent attempt to put those actions at the top of the crowd’s mind instead of the sweaty and unhinged clown antics for which he’s become best-known in recent years. He also credited Giuliani for bringing down rates of violent crime during his tenure, specifically noting the reduction of crime in the city’s Black communities, “where the crime and shootings and death were the highest,” which is less of a dog-whistle than it is a full-on foghorn. Giuliani took the microphone next, speaking for twenty minutes. Characteristically, he said nothing of value. At long last it was Greitens’ turn

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JULY 14-20, 2021

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A pastor took the mic and began lamenting the “militant Marxist groups” bringing “anarchy to our cities,” and vowed to “defeat the enemy” with the help of the holy spirit. to speak, and he emerged holding aloft the still-bleeding head of an antifa militant before tearing off his shirt and scrawling “I WAS A NAVY SEAL” on his chest with blood. OK, maybe not quite that, but he did speak ad nauseum about his military service while bewilderingly claiming to have “defeated antifa when they came to Missouri,” to the cheers of the crowd. e also ba ingly referred to himself as a “political outsider,” seemingly forgetting that he was once the governor of the fucking state. Aside from that, Greitens’ speech was wall-to-wall cookie-cutter bullshit that could have been recited by any conscienceless political hopeful angling to get into the good graces of the former president, with references to the Arizona “audit”/ clown show, the “Russian collusion hoax,” the tech companies “trying to silence Donald Trump” and on and on, all on tap. Sure, there was a half-full wedding venue full of Missourians cheering as he droned on — and there’s a real chance those people will elect him, despite the handwringing of the party establishment, because this state is fucked — but it was crystal clear that Greitens’ real audience was just one man, who currently resides at a resort in Florida. If ever there was any doubt, the fact that he said the word “Trump” no less than eight times over the course of his seventeen-minute speech — making for a rate of nearly once per two minutes — should really drive that point home. There’s one problem though, Eric: He’s just not that into you — and no amount of duct tape is going to fix that. n

THE BIG MAD CAN KICKING Garza’s war, endless blockades, missed St. Louis opportunities and Mike Parson’s ‘success’ Compiled by

DANIEL HILL

elcome back to the Big Mad, the RFT’s weekly roundup of righteous rage! Because we know your time is short and your anger is hot: Mission Avoided: It would seem that nobody told the Delta variant, which is currently ripping through the southwest portion of the state at a rate so alarming that we’re now making national news for our ever-increasing rates of infection and hospitalization, but Missouri is doing a really great job with COVID-19, actually — or at least that’s the way our dumb governor sees it. This past week, Governor Mike Parson spoke out forcefully against the implementation of federal vaccine outreach efforts, saying the state “is not in crisis mode,” even as Missouri has risen to the second-highest number of new cases per capita, according to the New York Times, and some of the lowest rates of vaccination in the entire nation. “I think we’ve took every action we could possibly take in the state of Missouri to prevent this,” Parson told reporters last week, as he attempted to justify his decision to not take further action to prevent it. It’s a continuation of the do-nothing approach to a deadly pandemic that has become Parson’s calling card over the past year and a half, the latest in a series of inactions that includes no statewide mask mandates; a disastrous vaccine rollout that saw Missourians driving across the state to get their shots; a discontinuation of enhanced unemployment benefits meant to keep people from spreading the virus and even the signing of HB 271, limiting the ability of local health departments to implement orders protecting public health during a crisis. In a way, you’ve got to hand it to the guy — not for his COVID response, of course, but for the fact that though he may be utterly useless, he’s at least consistent. Garza Going Away: Dr. Alex Garza, who has led the St. Louis Metropolitan Pandemic Task Force through the COVID-19 pandemic, is about to start a different job. Garza has been a calming figure through all of this, offering sage advice and presenting scientific information

in his frequent video briefings in a way that we can all understand. For the past year and a half, he’s been our own local version of Dr. Fauci, but now we’re going to have to get by without him. Garza will soon be stepping away from the task force because he’s in the U.S. Army Reserve and he’s starting a four-month deployment to Kuwait. He’s “going from one crisis to another,” as he described it on St. Louis Public Radio. That this American hero might return to us months from now to face what St. Louis County Executive Sam Page recently described as a “tidal wave” of COVID-19 headed for unvaccinated Missourians is beyond infuriating. Protect our troops. Protect your parents. Protect your children. Get the shot. Taste of Summer: Panera, the artist formerly known as St. Louis Bread Company, has won our thicc hearts with its inflatable bread bowl pool float, a triumph of brand marketing that satisfies our need to float decadently during the Missouri summer while — bonus! — getting as humanely close to bread as possible. But it also lent buoyancy to our outrage that no other St. Louis food brands have seen fit to turn their products into summer accessories. Old Vienna — where is our Red Hot Riplets tanning lotion? And Imo’s, if we’re not catching waves on a sticky square surfboard before the end of summer, we might start looking at other, thiccer-crusted pizzas. It’s bread bowl summer, ya’ll. Step up. Problem Shelved: St. Louis loves a halfassed solution to a problem. Maybe the best example is its roadwork, or its policing. And when you combine roadwork and policing, you get … no, not a whole-ass solution. C’mon, you get more fuckery. Witness the problem with drag racing through downtown during those early, empty-street days of the pandemic. There was some legit craziness going on: Cars, motorcycles and quads burning up the roads (and sidewalks), leading to the kind of obliterated-vehicle crashes you usually only see on the highway. People blazing away with guns. A seventeenyear-old girl was killed in one of the crashes. So St. Louis puts in a bunch of concrete barriers to choke off the racetrack. And it helped some, but this is the part of the problem-solving process that seems to freeze city leaders. Instead of using quick fixes as something to buy a little time while they put real solutions in place, they move on. That’s why we’re still driving around barricades almost a year later and circling Kiener Plaza, looking for somewhere that doesn’t have “temporary” concrete walls blocking off all the parking. Solid work, everyone. n

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Stripped to its core, Record Store Day is about the music BY JACK PROBST

or most of its existence, Record Store Day has been an annual block party. Vinyl addicts and casual music fans alike swarm indie shops across the country every year, lining sidewalks or crowding the edges of temporary stages as live bands perform and pintpouring beer reps circulate to keep the festivities going. It’s an all-day mini-festival put on by the locally owned houses of musical worship so many of us adore. The lure of an influx of new albums, all dropping on the same day — and free concerts — has been both a boon to profits in a struggling industry and an opportunity for music-loving employees to mix with like-minded customers. But this year’s Record Store Day, set for this Saturday, July 17, will be a quieter affair. There will be no sidewalk ragers soundtracked by local DJs or aisles packed shoulder to shoulder with shoppers thumbing through the racks. All the cans of free beer appear to be empty. Stores will sell a new batch of select albums, but most of the trappings of the party will be on hold for another year. The changes are designed to address the safety concerns of an ongoing pandemic while preserving the thrill of finally laying your hands on records anticipated for months. Even the one-day bonanza has been split into two. This will actually be the second installment of Record Store Day this summer, the first drop having occurred last month as a way to further diffuse the crowds. In 2020, the day was split into three.

The irony of the muted celebrations is that we’re in the midst of an incredibly successful period in vinyl sales. With concerts and most live music outlets off limits for months, people have spent more than ever to build up their collections during the COVID-19 pandemic. That first drop of 1, on June 12, sparked the biggest week of sales ever for a Record Store Day week, with 1,279,000 vinyl albums sold, Billboard reported. And stores plan to keep selling this week. The core piece of what many music lovers flock to indie stores for on Record Store Day — the exclusive and impossible-toget vinyl — is still happening. For many, this is how they praise their favorite stores, and that’s a good thing.

hroughout the 2000s, record stores were in trouble. Primarily due to digital platforms such as iTunes, CD and record sales were declining. People just weren’t buying physical media, which left many record stores across the country struggling. Mail order kept some businesses alive, yet others simply couldn’t stay afloat and closed. It was a scary time for owners, clerks, music lovers and collectors. But that was about to change. In 2007, inspired by the success of Free Comic Book Day for independent comic shops, Eric Levin of Criminal Records in Atlanta and Chris Brown from Bull Moose Music in Maine brought together a group of indie record store owners in Baltimore. It was time to get

shops to start working together to create hype and awareness nationwide. During this meeting, they formed the basis for a yearly celebration of all things record store. Record Store Day was mapped out to unite fans, labels and artists in a massive celebration of the culture surrounding independent record shops. In 2008, they put their plan into action. Stores across the country threw celebrations to praise independent record stores during that inaugural event. Among the festivities were live music, food, drinks and exclusive releases that can only be purchased at indie record stores. It was a smart marketing move that helped remind customers of all the pleasures they were missing in the rush to downloads. But it was also a boost for those on the other side of the register, the employees who turned their music fandom into careers, or at least part-time jobs. Employees like me. I was there for the first ecord Store Day at Euclid Records in . I still have the original flyer advertising the day’s lineup. It was a smaller event than what future years would bring, but it was certainly the breeziest one I took part in. We had a handful of bands scheduled to play on our small stage, including the greatest band to come out of Festus, The Bottle Rockets. Between bands, a handful of us DJ’d from behind the counter, blocking the listening stations for the day. It was the first time I had ever spun wax, and it was the day that the vinyl bug finally bit me hard. That first event featured a very modest offering of releases. There

Jack Probst has spent a lifetime loving records. | ERIN MCAFEE riverfronttimes.com

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RECORD SCORE DAY Continued from pg 13

were only ten pieces in the racks from artists like Pavement’s Stephen Malkmus, The Teenagers, REM and Death Cab for Cutie. It was slim pickings compared to the drop you’ll see in the racks on Saturday, which totals more than 150 exclusive titles, limited-run pressings, or upcoming releases you can grab early only at indie stores. This drop features releases from the Beastie Boys, The Cure, Fleet Foxes, St. Vincent and The Rolling Stones, just to name a very few. I started working at Euclid Records in 2004, straight out of high school, and stayed there for ten and a half years. Looking back, I probably stayed about seven years too long, but that’s the way of record stores. I was sucked into a musical vortex that, at the time, I didn’t want to escape. For years, it had been my dream to stand behind the counter surrounded by music all day. I took my career aspirations from seeing my uncle work at the Webster Groves location of Streetside Records in the ’90s (Hwy 61 Roadhouse & Kitchen now occupies that building) and, of course, the quintessential, yet more than somewhat problematic, recordstore film High Fidelity. I wanted to be John Cusack, and I wanted to own a record store. What I didn’t understand then, and what the many customers who asked if we were hiring didn’t know, was that working in a record store is hard work. I’m not sure if you’ve ever picked up a box with 100 records in it, but those fuckers are heavy. That being said, it generally was a lot of fun. My coworkers from that time became lifelong friends — creative folks who are obsessive music fans, unbelievable artists, amateur comedians and insanely talented musicians. I feel lucky to have been able to work with so many cool weirdos. So often, they’re the ones who send you down musical paths you wouldn’t have usually traveled. There were also the customers. In my experience, there are three main types of customers a record store attracts: 1. The obsessive collector who is confused that you don’t know every catalog number and pressing on every album in the racks. 2. The music lover who wants to discover absolutely anything you hand them. And 3. The casual consumer who “can’t believe

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Record Store Day “is like Christmas... it’s just a beautiful day,” says Vintage Vinyl’s Orlandez Lewis. | ERIN MCAFEE they’re still making vinyl.” Year after year, we saw more of all of them as Record Store Day became bigger and bigger across St. Louis. Our favorite customers, new faces from all walks of life and old friends would gather together in the store that we loved to watch bands blow the roof off the place all day. It’s still a favorite for employees. “It’s like Christmas. For me, it really is just a beautiful day,” says Orlandez Lewis of Vintage Vinyl. “I’ve gone to record stores now for over twenty years of my life. It’s a great day to see all creeds and cultures and ages just all come

together for this silly little thing that’s called music. It’s really cool. That’s one of the many things I love about it. Just the camaraderie and the togetherness of it all.” Nick Kuntz of Euclid Records says, “It’s a day of celebrating our industry specifically, not other music retail, because they limit it to independent record stores. It draws people’s attention in, and it captures their excitement for what we do. Not just product, but the stores themselves.” Euclid Records manager Aaron Mayfield adds, “I personally love Record Store Day, maybe not so much as an employee, but as just

Greater St. Louis Record Stores to Check Out VINTAGE VINYL

WEIRDO RECORDS

6610 Delmar Boulevard, University City; 314-721-4096

6015 Gravois Avenue

EUCLID RECORDS

3238 South Grand Boulevard, 314-728-1440

19 North Gore Avenue, Webster Groves; 314-961-8978

MUSIC RECORD SHOP 3116 Locust Street, 314-675-8675

PLANET SCORE RECORDS 7421 Manchester Road, Maplewood; 314-282-0777

DEAD WAX RECORDS 1912 Cherokee Street, 314-833-5565

JULY 14-20, 2021

CIRCA: NOW! RECORDS

RECORD EXCHANGE 5320 Hampton Avenue, 314-832-2249

WAX RATS RECORDS 2308.5 Cherokee Street, 303-524-5729

THE RECORD SPACE 8716 Gravois Road, Affton; 314-437-2727

RICH’S RECORD EMPORIUM 131 West Main Street, Collinsville; 618-795-1333

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a lover of music. It introduces people to something that they have no idea about, which is awesome, and you can see the excitement, which I also enjoy.” Tim Lohmann of Planet Score, a Maplewood shop celebrating its sixth anniversary in October, says, “It brings a lot of people out. [Labels] put out records that might have been forgotten about, or people might not have heard, or maybe never came out before. It might be some of the stuff that the artists, when they were alive, didn’t want to come out, but there’s people that want to buy that stuff. There’s a big demand for obscure stuff or interesting reissues.”

ne of the maddening parts of working in record stores is the way forces beyond your control can cause chaos. A fragile supply line means that even seemingly good news can trigger a series of reactions that result in new problems. In 2020, when the pandemic forced some record stores to temporarily close, demand for vinyl increased. Folks who were no longer able to throw their cash toward concerts started turning that money into more extensive record collections. While this seems excellent looking in from the outside, there’s now a demand for albums that stores can’t always fill. There are currently only about 27 record-pressing plants in the United States, and while

it used to take a couple weeks to get a return on your vinyl order, some projects now have an eightmonth turnaround. Adding to the bottleneck, a ebruary fire in California destroyed Apollo Masters, a plant that produced the acetate discs used in vinyl manufacturing. It was one of only two plants in the world that made the discs, with the other located in Japan. So it’s a real problem that immediately caused concern and panic about it affecting the production of vinyl records. Even the popularity of Record Store Day can create supply-chain headaches. If you have more than 100 releases that are almost entirely vinyl records, you’re jamming up the pressing plants for a good part of the year. That means catalog titles for, say, copies of Led Zeppelin IV, aren’t being made at the same speed they were before. As a result, indie stores might receive a fraction of the number of records they’ve ordered — and customers sometimes have to wait months before they can buy something they expect will always be in stock. And it’s not just the stores. Think of how it affects indie labels like Merge Records or Polyvinyl. They don’t have as much sway as the major labels, so they often have to be patient or be left in the dust. If you’ve noticed more of your favorite bands, particularly local ones, selling tapes at shows, it’s because they want to hand you a physical product, and the turnaround for tapes is much faster. Even when things are going great in the record industry, it is a struggle. And that trickles down to the employees.

ecord retail is a business I love, but it does not always love you back. In 2014, I was running into a problem that is familiar to lots of people working for love first and money second: I could no longer afford it. My life was changing rapidly, and when it was made clear that my pay wasn’t going to change with it, I left. I probably would have stayed forever if I could have made a living wage. And while I never had to deal with it as a record store employee, the pandemic has added a new variable in the power dynamic. Employees in the New Salem, Massachusetts, location of Bull Moose say they were all fired in May by Record Store Day cofounder Chris Brown after they complained that a change in the store’s masking policy put them at risk. In a statement and follow-up

media reports, Brown denied that staff members were fired over the mask policy, but the episode was a reminder of the expendable nature of employees in an industry where there are always more music lovers looking to chase John Cusack dreams. And yet, it’s impossible to escape the pull of record stores that attracted me. Like most of the people manning indie shops across St. Louis and everywhere else, I’m a collector at heart. For this story, I toured some of my many favorite shops in the city last week. I ended up spending $160 in between interviews. There’s nothing that can stop me from grabbing all my favorite albums on vinyl. Most record store folks have a love for physical media. Maybe it’s the sound quality, the warmth that comes when the needle hits the groove. “Beyond just a nostalgia factor, I feel like vinyl has a life of its own. Used things especially,” says Lewis of Vintage Vinyl. “You hear that when you put on a record for the first time. It’s got those pops and clicks and roughness and smoothness and just all kinds of textures that are just there. You can feel it. You don’t get that with CDs or tapes or digital media.” or Mayfield, at uclid ecords, sound is paramount. “Just purely sound,” he says. “I enjoy CDs almost as much as LPs; they both have their pros and cons. They both sound great, but I’ll pick an LP over streaming every day of the week. I can’t stand the sound of streaming, so … it’s a different thing.” Beyond the music, there is something about holding an album in your hands. Some like to see the artwork the size it was meant to be. Others collect it to spin and sample. In St. Louis, there are spots that cater to nearly every niche. The metro area is an anomaly when it comes to record stores. When so many have had to shut their doors in other cities in the past fifteen years, more stores seem to pop up all over our glorious city. For collectors like me, they remain an institution, a golden palace of infinite musical wonder. I enter them like a sacred temple where you can go into a trance flipping through the racks looking for the holy grail missing in your collection. Each store holds relics of the past and sounds from the future. They’re a solemn place where you can learn about music you’d never otherwise hear. or all their challenges and flaws, they’re something special for those in the know. Record stores are rad as fuck. n

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CAFE

[REVIEW]

Moving On Up Tai Ke Shabu Shabu relocated out of necessity, but the results are stunning Written by

CHERYL BAEHR Tai Ke Shabu Shabu 9626 Olive Boulevard, Olivette; 314-8018411. Mon. 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Wed.-Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. (Closed Tuesdays.)

lu Sun has a complicated relationship with the (allegedly) forthcoming Costco development that is getting ready to dramatically alter the northwest corner of University City. On the one hand, it pushed him and his business partner, Clavin oong, to find a new location for their wildly popular Taiwanese restaurant, Tai Ke. The prospect of eventual demolition was simply too great a specter hanging over the business, so rather than wait for the official word, they felt that they had to be proactive in their search for a new location. However, the move was a long time coming. Almost immediately after they opened the doors to the original Tai Ke in 2015, Koong and Sun felt that they just weren’t in the right space. Not only was the dining room too small to accommodate the throngs of customers who packed in for its outstanding Taiwanese street food, the building also lacked an ample parking lot and was located behind another business, making it difficult to find from the road. ather than lamenting the fact that they were likely being pushed out of their home, the pair chose to see the Costco situation as a fresh start. And that new beginning was about more than just the building. For a while, Koong and Sun had been talking about doing shabu shabu at Tai Ke, even though their original space was not well set up to do so. The dish, an individualized way of doing Taiwanese hot pot, had become increasingly popular over the years throughout Asia, and Koong and Sun saw an

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Ginger duck wok and beef hot pot with various add-ons, gua bao (pork belly bun) and sliced Taiwanese sausage. | MABEL SUEN opportunity to capture that momentum here in St. Louis. With that vision in mind, the partners set out to find a restaurant space that would allow them to do the Taiwanese street food they’d become known for alongside shabu shabu and other rotating specials. They found that perfect fit less than two miles west on Olive Boulevard at the former LuLu Asian Kitchen. After adding in a bar, complete with seventeen shabu shabu stations inlaid into the countertop, as well as a few aesthetic changes, Koong and Sun opened the doors to the new restaurant, Tai Ke Shabu Shabu, on January 1. Fans of Tai Ke 1.0 will be pleased to know that the menu has been enhanced, not replaced. The restaurant’s signature street snacks remain available and are as outstanding as they were at the original location. Gua bao are still the same fluffy, pork-belly-filled buns as before, overstuffed with shockingly luscious meat that could be spread with a knife. Pickled greens, ground peanuts and gently sweet braising glaze accent the pork, cutting through its silken fat. The Sticky ice ot Dog, per-

JULY 14-20, 2021

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The dining room of the new location finally gives Tai Ke the space it needs. | MABEL SUEN haps the previous iteration’s signature dish, remains as well; the garlicky sausage, cradled in sticky rice with sweet and sour dressing, is every bit as revelatory as it was at the old spot, as is the crispy chicken, which our server described as Tai Ke’s version of KFC.

I’d call it the most tender, blackpeppery chicken nugget available in the bi-state area, if only I was able to stop stuffing my face with it to speak those words. Hot wok entrees, like the restaurant’s signature Three Cups Chicken, also bring the original

Manager Alu Sun and chef-owner Calvin Koong. | MABEL SUEN location’s magic to the new dining room. The dark-meat chicken remains warmly spiced and falloff-the-bone, glazed in a garlicky rice wine, soy, sesame oil and chile sauce. Sizzling tenderloin beef is also an outstanding carryover. The slices of tender meat are glazed in a black-peppery soy concoction and accented with sweet bell peppers; had this not made it onto the new place’s menu, there would have been a revolt. However, as wonderful as the original items are, the new offerings at Tai Ke Shabu Shabu are worthy additions. For the shabu shabu experience, we opted for the Combination version, a simmering pot of cabbage, hunks of corn on the cob, mushrooms, tofu and lotus root served in a broth that tastes like sweet buttered corn eaten at an oceanside café. A plate filled with clams, s uid, whole shrimp and thinly shaved frozen beef is served alongside the pot; when the broth starts boiling, you place these additions into the mix alongside the already-cooking accompaniments. This forms a mouthwatering stew, flavored with seafood, vegetables and beef fat that is delicious on its own; however, when you add the accompanying sauce — a delightfully funky concoction that tastes like soybean paste, chiles and garlic — it turns the dish into an outrageous bomb of umami that you will not be able to get out of your mind until your next visit.

The showstopper of the new menu is a new special dish, steamed seabass. Your first clue that this is a must-order is when you look around the dining room and notice the steaming fish on every single table. As soon as it arrives at your own, you understand why. The gossamer-colored fish is the texture of butter; served on a platter over a heating element, the seabass continues to poach as you eat it, never overcooking but infusing the seafood cooking li uid with even more flavor by the minute. iery red chiles fleck the meat, and a generous garnish of leek-like greens crowns this beautiful dish. This should be in the conversation as one of the best seafood dishes in St. Louis. Tai Ke Shabu Shabu’s food is matched only by its hospitality. Servers are attentive even amidst the hustle and bustle of a busy dining room, but their attentiveness is dwarfed by a genuine warmth to share a piece of Taiwanese culture with their fellow St. Louisans. That such a beautiful thing came out of the prospect of a big-box store’s steamrolling of several immigrant-owned businesses is at least some small form of poetic justice.

Tai Ke Shabu Shabu Gua bao ...................................................$7.99 Steamed seabass ................................ $17.99 Combination hot pot............................ $27.99 • Carry-out and dine-in

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Courtesy of Pit Stop STL

JULY 18-25TH, 2021 PRESENTED BY:

#STLBURGERWEEK 18

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COMMANDMENTS

St. Louis Burger Week has created such strong, lusty, even insane feelings, that we decided it needed its own little manifesto. Please read on.

1. THEY COULD RUN OUT

We expect that the restaurants will be extremely busy. So, if a place runs out toward the end of a shift, handle it like an adult, go back the next day, earlier, order your burger and thank them for working hard. Please be nice to our restaurants.

2. THERE’LL LIKELY BE WAITS

People have been talking about Burger Week 2021 for months. Don’t be surprised if restaurants have waits. In fact, be surprised if they don’t.

3. TIP LIKE A PRO

$6 brings out the cheap in all of us, but really, you’re likely getting a $10+ burger, so please tip at least 20%. The people who are serving you are working harder during Burger Week than an average week. A kind word will also be welcome - these people are our friends and neighbors.

4. YOU SHOULD BUY A DRINK AND/OR OTHER FOOD

Purchase of sides and extras are not a requirement, but we think it says a lot to those working hard to bring you extraordinary experience. Grab some fries, a Dogfish head beer and say thanks!

5. CHECK SOCIAL MEDIA

Restaurants will be encouraged to post their waits and remaining burgers for the day on their social platforms. Also don’t forget to share and tag your photos with #STLBurgerWeek.

*Note: Burger Week Restaurants may offer carryout this year but please be aware there may be additional charges.

THANK YOU!

A huge thanks to our sponsors: Gordon Food Service, Brown & Crouppen, Dogfishead and Shake Shack!

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ALPHA BREWING COMPANY

BUSLOOP BURGERS

4310 Fyler Avenue St. Louis, MO

10462 Saint Charles Rock Road St. Louis, MO busloopburgerstogo.com One Quarter Pound Patty

alphabrewingcompany.com Balsamic Chipotle BBQ Cheddar Burger Ground chuck patty from Kenrick’s Meats on a Fazio’s Bakery bun with sharp cheddar cheese and a balsamic chipotle BBQ sauce we aged a year in a scotch whiskey barrel.

AMERICAN FALAFEL

BE SURE TO GET YOUR PASSPORT

1/3 pick

Turkey substitute option available.

6o che wit

CAFE ON THE ABBEY

DRAKE’S

americanfalafel.com Keffa Burger

322 S. Main Columbia, IL

1160 Central Park Dr O’Fallon, IL

BAR CODE & GRILL 10806 St Charles Rock Rd St Ann, MO

cafeontheabbeycolumbia.com Triple Black Angus Texas Smashburger Three fresh, hand pattied black Angus burgers grilled, topped with our house-made Bourbon barbecue sauce, fried tobacco onions, thick sliced bacon and cheddar cheese served on a grilled Brioche bun.

Triple Black Angus Mississippi Smashburger

facebook.com/Barcodeandgrill The Barcode Burger

Three fresh pattied black Angus burgers grilled, topped with our house-made Mississippi comeback sauce, pepper jack cheese & fried green tomatoes served on a grilled Brioche bun.

1/2 lb Juicy Beef burger served on a perfectly toasted bun.

BEAST BUTCHER & BLOCK

Texas Impossible Burger

drakescomeplay.com/drakes-ofallon-il All “B” It Burger A fresh, never frozen patty with creamy brie, smoked bacon, blueberry-bourbon BBQ sauce & citrus-splashed arugula on a warm butter-toasted bun.

DUKE’S 2001 Menard St, St. Louis, MO

facebook.com/dukesinsoulard Bacon-Jam Thick Burger Premium ground steak topped with melted pepper-jack cheese & delicious bacon jam.

4156 Manchester Ave St. Louis, MO beastbbqstl.com STL Pork Burger

4 oz Impossible burgers grilled, topped with our house-made Bourbon barbecue sauce, fried tobacco onions, and served on a grilled Brioche bun.

DUKE’S BBQ SHACK

Two 5 oz. beef patties, thick house bacon, St. Louis cheese, charred onion, riplets, fry sauce.

CARNIVORE

dukesbbqshack.com The J-Burger

BEFFA’S BAR & RESTAURANT

carnivore-stl.com Swiss Melt

2700 Olive Street St. Louis, MO

5257 Shaw Ave, St. Louis, MO

Grilled 6 oz patty topped with sautéed mushrooms, onions & melted Swiss cheese, served on a Pete’s Italian Bakery bun.

beffas.com Southern Pub Pimento Cheese, fried green tomato, bacon jam, and brioche.

COMA COFFEE

BLUE DUCK

1034 South Brentwood Suite 101 Richmond Heights, MO

comacoffee.com Pimento Bacon Jam Burger

2661 Sutton Blvd Maplewood, MO

blueduckstl.com Burger Week Special

Ground beef patty, bacon jam, pimento cheese, arugula, and red onion served on Companion brioche bun.

House cured and ground smash burger with Swiss cheese, smoked mushrooms, fried pickled red onions, and roasted garlic aioli on a house made brioche bun.

Guacamole Burger Ground beef patty, house made guacamole, white cheddar, pico de gallo with pickled onions, and candied jalapeño lime crema.

BOO COO

THE DAM

1031 Lynch Street St. Louis, MO

3173 Morgan Ford Rd. Louis, MO

boocoostl.com Boo Coo Burger

thedamstl.com The Belgian Burger

¼ pound double smash burger, cheddar and cream cheese spread topped with fried jalapeno slices.

Single hand-rolled patty, Gouda cheese, bacon, housemade Slaw and our Belgian Sauce.

BOOTLEGGIN BBQ

The Mean Green

1933 Washington Ave St. Louis, MO

Garden burger, cole slaw, honey curry sauce & tomato.

bootlegginbbq.com Flagship Burger

Ground in-house brisket meat topped with bootlegger sauce and white American cheese.

BREW HUB TAPROOM

3 oz patty with a scoop of beer mac n cheese, toasted panko and bacon, served on a bun with tomato and buffalo ranch.

ORDER A DOGFISH HEAD BEER! 28

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DEFIANT COOKIE DOUGH COMPANY

17409-A Chesterfield Airport Rd Chesterfield, MO

defiantcookiedough.com Sweet Burger

Hawaiian sweet roll for the bun, gooey brownie burger, a slice of peanut butter for the cheese, white chocolate lettuce, a touch of red buttercream ketchup.

5656 Oakland Ave St. Louis, MO tapbrewhub.com Mac N Cheese Burger

905 jcs JC

American cheese, Swiss cheese, crispy hash brown patty, fried egg, crispy applewood bacon, topped with jalapeno berry bacon jam and served on a toasted hamburger bun.

6314 Delmar Blvd St. Louis, MO

Ground beef, mixed with onions, Italian parsley, salt, pepper, and Mediterranean spices.

DOGHOUSE SOCIAL HOUSE 15682 Manchester Rd Ellisville, MO

doghousesocialhouse.com Spicy Honey BBQ Cheeseburger Broiled patties topped with spicy honey BBQ sauce, onion rings, melted cheddar cheese, pulled pork and applewood bacon served on a toasted brioche bun.

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100 Ash Street Wentzville, MO

American Wagyu Pattie with a Bacon jam, and Smoked Gouda & Provel Cheese.

The Big Doobler American Wagyu Pattie American Cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle with Doobler Sauce.

GREAT GRIZZLY BEAR

1027 Geyer Avenue St. Louis, MO

greatgrizzlystl.com Bacon Infused Beef Patty Melted muenster cheese, spicy mayo, fresh red onion, and homemade dill & bread + butter pickle.

Handmade White Bean Carrot & tahini patty, with pickled green tomato, lettuce with a vegan za’atar aioli.

HI-POINTE DRIVE-IN

1033 McCausland Ave, St. Louis, MO (& Downtown STL location)

hipointedrivein.com Single Cheeseburger

Sugarfire Smokehouse pulled pork built BigMac style with lettuce pickle and secret sauce on a sesame bun

HOTSHOTS SPORTS BAR & GRILL 131 Arnold Crossroads Ctr Arnold, MO (All 10 locations are participating)

hotshotsnet.com Frisco Melt Hotshots famous 1/3 lb. burger topped with Swiss, bacon, grilled tomatoes and Thousand Island served on grilled sourdough bread.

IOWA BUFFET

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2727 Winnebago Street St. Louis, MO

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facebook.com/IowaBuffet Iowa Burger

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Full-size burger with grilled onions, pickle, horseradish cheddar cheese, and bacon. Other cheeses and toppings available on request.

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JC SUPPER CLUB

PAT CONNOLLY TAVERN

STACKHOUSE PUB & GRILL

9053 Riverview Dr. St. Louis, MO jcsupperclub.com JC Classic Burger

6400 Oakland A e t Lo is, MO

1 419 Oli e l d Chesterfield, MO

patconnollytavern.com Smash Burger

stackhousestl.com Steak Burger

1/3 lb of lean beef topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, American cheese & a fried egg (Add bacon for $1).

Patty of Angus chunk, fried green tomato, pickled peppers, Guinness Pimento Cheese, topped with Chipotle Sauce.

8 oz. Hand-pattied, topped with pulled pork, pepper jack cheese, and homemade BBQ sauce, and served on a brioche bun.

PETRICHOR BREWING

SUPER SMOKERS BBQ + CAJUN

JC Brisket Jam 6 oz beef brisket burger topped with white American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, pickles & finished with bacon jam.

JIVE TURKEY EATS 7 9

74 4 illa e Center Dri e O’Fallon, MO

petrichorbeer.com Angus Burger 1/3lb of 2 Angus beef smash patties, American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and pickles on a toasted Brioche bun. Served with natural cut fries or salad ($2.50) and a side of ketchup.

i h a 67 Florissant, MO

jiveturkeyeats.com The Jive Burger 1/2 lb Perfectly Seasoned Turkey Burger served on a buttery brioche bun with choice of toppings.

adill A en e t Lo is, MO

thepiccadilly.com Link Burger

4916 Shaw Avenue St. Louis, MO jsmugsgastropit.com

Green Chile Cheeseburger

4 oz. beef patty with swiss cheese, coleslaw, baked beans and house made smoked sausage coins on a shine bun.

laylastl.com Single Royale

e ster

ro es, MO

Baby Jane Vegetarian red lentil patty, Monterey Jack, Smokey mango sauce, lemon garlic mayo, flash-fried kale, tomato & sumac onions on sesame seed bun

MAUKI’S BAKERY & COUNTRY STORE 17 0

th treet t Lo is, MO

maukisbakery.com Burger Week Special

11 oz hamburger with bacon, mozzarella Swiss, topped with Mauki’s smoked salsa sauce.

THE ORIGINAL CRUSOE’S RESTAURANT 1

Os eola t

t Lo is, MO

Large patty served with cheddar cheese, bacon, onion ring and bbq sauce.

OVER/UNDER BAR & GRILL ashin ton A e, t Lo is, MO

overunderstl.com The OU Smash Burger

A seasoned, smashed, and flat topped 6 oz. Black Angus beef patty with caramelized onions and our Awesome Sauce, served on a toasted and buttered brioche bun.

PARKMOOR DRIVE-IN 0

Lo k ood A e

e ster

ro es, MO

theparkmoor.com Griddle Smashed Steak Burger American cheese, Parkmoor sauce, onions, and pickles, and served on a toasted bun.

Smoked and grilled 8 oz patty topped with housemade Bacon jam and Monterey Jack cheese served on a bun. Smoked and grilled 8 oz patty topped with soft cheddar cheese and smoked bacon served on a bun with a tomato slice and lettuce.

70 Oli e treet t Lo is, MO

hotelsaintlouis.com/union30 Classic Double Stack Burger

THE VILLAGE BAR 1

47 Man hester Road Des Peres, MO

6 oz Beef patty caponata, grilled red onion, cilantro, feta cheese, Harissa sauce, toasted brioche bun.

facebook.com/VillageBarSTL Best Cheeseburger

PRIME 55

1/4 lb. Premium ground chuck, prepared fresh, never frozen, with pickle, and your choice of cheese.

6100 Del ar l d t Lo is, MO

WHITE COTTAGE

prime55stl.com The Prime Turkey Burger

10 Le anon A e

elle ille, IL

Served with house aioli, with lettuce, tomato, and onions & seasoned fries.

whitecottageicecream.com Signature Burger

SHAKE SHACK

Quarter pound patty, applewood bacon, Swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion on a toasted bun.

THE WOOD SHACK SOULARD

lid A e t Lo is, MO

shakeshack.com Mound City

1 6 so th 10th treet t Lo is, MO

Provel cheeseburger topped with all-natural applewood smoked bacon and STL sauce (contains milk, wheat, egg, and gluten).

SHARPSHOOTER PIT & GRILL

dineocr.com Smokehouse Burger

911

2130 Macklind Avenue St. Louis, MO pitstop-stl.com

Mediterranean Burger

Cheese, smash patty, cheddar, onions, pickles, apricot ketchup & 33 sauce on sesame seed bun

supersmokers.com Bacon Jam Burger

American cheese atop a Companion Brioche Bun served with lettuce, tomato, pickle, and onion available upon request.

PIT STOP

0 Allen A e 1 0,

ra ois Rd A ton, MO

UNION 30 AT HOTEL ST. LOUIS

New Mexico Hatch Chile, avocado, tomato, gouda cheese

LAYLA

Affton Burger

PICCADILLY AT THE MANHATTAN 7 01 Pi

J. SMUGS GASTROPIT

thewoodshacksoulard.com Smoked Burger Peppered bacon, American cheese, pickled red onions, bone marrow aioli, Carolina gold BBQ sauce on a brioche bun.

Smoked Jackfruit Burger Pickled red onions/ avocado/ Carolina gold sauce

8135 Gravois Rd St. Louis, MO banggoodbbq.com The Stanley

YOLKLORE

1/2lb. burger topped with fresh smoked pulled pork, housemade sweet vinegar coleslaw, and melted cheddar on a soft, butter toasted bun.

SILVER CREEK SALOON

atson Rd t Lo is, MO

yolklore.com Classic Burger 4 oz smash patty, cheddar, pickles, devil sauce, and housemade ciabatta.

0 Mas o tah A e elle ille, IL

Jack Daniels Honey Burger

1/2 Pound Angus burger topped with a Jack Daniels Honey Sauce, cheddar cheese, crisp bacon, crunchy onion ring, and pickles.

Crazy Burger 1/2 Pound Angus burger dipped in our famous Sweet Bubba Sauce and topped with pepper jack cheese , fried pickles and lettuce and tomato.

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BURGER WEEK KEY: = GLUTEN FREE SUBSTITUTE = VEGGIE SUBSTITUTE = TAKE OUT AVAILABLE

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SHORT ORDERS

Mom’s Deli has been a mainstay of the St. Louis deli scene since 1977. | ANDY PAULISSEN

[ S T. L O U I S S TA N D A R D S ]

All the Same Mom’s Deli has stood the test of time by not changing a thing Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

olores Vago did not want to open another grocery store. For years, she’d worked alongside her husband, Charles Vago, at his grocery and butcher shop until it got shuttered to make way for part of I-44 in the 1970s. Determined to take a break from the business, Dolores staunchly advocated against taking over the storefront on Ja-

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mieson and Landsdowne after Charles happened upon it, but he was insistent so much so that he came up with the perfect solution to get her on board. “He named it after her,” laughs Denise Vago, Charles’ and Dolores’ granddaughter and the current manager of Mom’s Deli. “She wanted nothing to do with it, so he named it Mom’s. Of course she ended up helping; she couldn’t get away from it, because they lived in the apartment above the store. My dad used to say there was no way to get away from it because you were always down at the store or upstairs at the apartment.” Forty-four years later, there’s no way that Dolores could look down upon her namesake and feel anything but pride. Since 1977, Mom’s Deli has been a mainstay of south St. Louis thanks to its outrageously good deli sandwiches and nostalgic vibe little of which has

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changed over the years, down to the Spuds MacKenzie statue over the beer cooler. However, as Denise explains, Mom’s didn’t start out as a sandwich shop at all ust a small, corner market with groceries, a deli and pharmacy items that serviced the surrounding neighborhood. Over the course of the first year, Dolores and Charles added a few sandwiches named after themselves and the two sons who worked at the business. As word of their sandwiches spread, they began adding more and more offerings to the list until the shop’s deli business dwarfed everything else. Sadly, Charles was not around long enough to see the deli’s sandwich reputation grow. The patriarch passed away just a year after Mom’s Deli opened, leaving Dolores, her son Charles Jr. and her son Ron to run the business. After several years, Dolores sold the deli to

Generations of the Vago family have run Mom’s, ensuring the quality persists. | ANDY PAULISSEN her sons, who ran it as a partnership until Ron needed to get out to take care of his sick wife. He sold his portion to Charles Jr., who was the figurehead of the store until he passed away in 2017, leaving

Mom’s outrageously good sandwiches and nostalgic vibe have turned it into a St. Louis Standard. | ANDY PAUISSEN

Mom’s Deli started out as a grocery. | ANDY PAULISSEN his daughter, Denise, to carry on the family’s legacy. “I’ve been working there for 22 years, though I left for a while to go to college, and then work for a builder and get my real estate license,” Denise says. “But then my dad got sick with bladder cancer and asked if I would come back and help out, so I did. It’s family. If they call and need help, that’s what you do.” Denise believes coming back

when she did was a blessing, because it allowed her to work alongside her dad for a few years, learning the ins and outs of the business so that she was well prepared to take over when the time came. That moment happened four years ago when her father passed away, leaving her in charge. She admits it was difficult at first reminders of her dad are throughout the deli but she feels confident she is following in his footsteps the way he

People come for the nostalgia as much as the sandwiches, taking comfort in the fact that the deli remains a constant in their lives. would have wanted her to. Part of that comes from her commitment to keeping Mom’s the same as it’s ever been. As Denise explains, people come for the nostalgia as much as the sandwiches, taking comfort in the fact that the deli remains a constant in their lives. Aside from decreasing the amount of groceries they carry, the biggest change at Mom’s was when they got a credit card machine something Denise had to fight her dad on until he finally

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relented. “Dad always carried cash and he never used credit cards,” Denise says. “However, we started losing some of our big party sandwich orders and he didn’t understand why. I told him that people just don’t carry cash for that, and he said, ‘Fine, get credit cards.’ That’s all I had to hear, and I immediately called the credit card company. It really turned our business around, and Dad told me what a great idea it was. It only took me seven years to convince him.” If the credit card machine is Mom’s biggest change, its most visible constant is longtime employee Marion, who, at 95 years old, still works five days a week slicing beef, onions and tomatoes, and making sandwiches just as she has since September of 1977. The deli’s unofficial figurehead, people often assume she’s the “mom” of Mom’s Deli, but she’s quick to clear things up. “She tells people, ‘I’m a mom, but I’m not the deli’s mom,” Denise says. Aside from Marion’s no-nonsense demeanor and shocking sandwich-making speed, a few other things have stood the test of time at Mom’s. There’s the Thousand Island dressing, a glorious concoction that Denise insists on making by hand, whipping upwards of 36 gallons a week the old-fashioned way with a bowl and a spatula. She jokes that she has the biggest right arm muscle around, but she refuses to use a mixer, worrying that it might change the flavor. She’s also hesitant to do anything differently with the other items they make inhouse, like the mostaccioli sauce, the mustard-mayo combo and the au jus for the roast beef. Perhaps no one would notice any tweaks, but Denise would, and she’d rather be a steward than someone eager to change what’s worked all these years. “We get people to come back because we’re a mom-and-pop and also because of the nostalgia,” Denise says. “We have people come in who haven’t been here in ten years, and they comment on how it’s exactly the same. I tell them, ‘I know. We are all still here with the same menu, the same setup, the same wood paneling.’ I just can’t change it. It’s the nostalgia of it; that’s what you expect to see.” n

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[ E AT E R I E S ]

Fun for All Ages Gather, a new café from the owners of Urban Fort, serves the broader McKinley Heights community Written by

HOLDEN HINES

egan King-Popp, co-owner of the recently opened café Gather, has strong feelings on the word “pivot.” “I hate that word. I’m so sick of that word,” King-Popp says. Regardless, Gather can be seen as a pivot from the previous setup of the space as Urban Fort, a kids’ play-space and café combo. When COVID-19 hit, King-Popp took the opportunity to do what she had wanted to do since the beginning — isolate and rebrand the café portion of her business, while allowing Urban Fort to continue as is. “People thought we were a daycare, rather than a café,” KingPopp says. “It became really clear that we had to separate ourselves in branding as well in [the physical space] in order to capture a new audience.” Still, King-Popp sees Gather not as a pivot, per se, but as a way to befriend and serve their neighbors of the last four years. She admits that the atmosphere of kids under the age of six wasn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but she wanted to bring in the McKinley Heights community, as well as foot traffic from ad acent neighborhoods like Fox Park, Soulard and Benton Park. Seeing people at neighborhood association meetings over the years and not being able to serve them saddened King-Popp, and now, with Gather, she’s reaching members of the community she had not before. In order to separate the two concepts, King-Popp and her business partner, Monica Croke, sectioned off a portion of the building with a soundproof wall. On one side, Urban Fort continues to exist as a play café, while Gather operates as a standalone eatery. Gather continues serving in Urban Fort, though; food and drink orders can still be made from the Urban Fort side and are brought over

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Gather, a neighborhood cafe, aims to expand the Urban Fort concept to a broader swath of its McKinley Heights neighborhood. | HOLDEN HINDES

The vegan bagel is part of a carefully crafted menu at Gather. | HOLDEN HINDES through a service door between the spaces. Otherwise, the two are independent with separate spaces and vastly different atmospheres. “As much as we love the kids — Monica and I are both parents — as much as we love that vibe, we’re trying to make this vibe for other people,” King-Popp says. The new vibe of Gather is calm. Outside, picnic tables and chairs are protected with umbrellas and tree cover. Inside, wooden furniture is lain with burnt yellow and deep purple chair cushions. The interior design and decor of Gather is all new, whereas at Urban Fort, the focus was on toys, as that

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was most important for the kids. Focusing on interior design did not make sense in a space where chairs were stained with cupcakes, so King-Popp is excited at the opportunity to lean into the new design and make Gather a comfortable space for the community. “We have a lot more vintage things,” King-Popp says. “Plants. You don’t normally have plants in a kids’ space.” Most of the menu remains the same from the Urban Fort days, but new items include a popular biscuit sandwich and a BLT. A French toast bake — a composition of chopped croissants cooked

with lemons and blueberries — has also taken off lately, and the quiche remains a bestseller. Espresso comes from Blueprint Coffee, coffee and cold brew come from Living Room, and tea is from Big Heart Tea Co. The menu rotates seasonally, with new items arriving this month. King-Popp and her business partner Croke emphasize that being moms notably impacts their business ethos, and they’ve been heartened to hear from fellow parents who often express their gratitude for the care taken with the food and coffee. “We’ve always taken care to make sure that we’re selling the best products, because parents deserve that, too,” King-Popp says. “And I don’t feel like a lot of children’s places put a lot of emphasis on their food and coffee.” King-Popp and Croke are excited to embody the words on their website that advertise Gather as a “Neighborhood Café,” and they believe that by reinventing the space for an expanded audience, they are able to better serve their McKinley Heights neighbors. Though the food, coffee and ownership of Gather remains the same as it has been for four years, King-Popp emphasizes that this is a new café and will achieve what she felt that they were missing at Urban Fort. “I like having the opportunity to serve the community that we’ve fallen in love with,” King-Popp says. “That’s been the best part — being able to embrace our neighborhood.” n

[AMORE]

Don’t Call It a Comeback That’sa Nice’a Pizza returns to south county after more than a decade Written by

JENNA JONES

ast asleep one March night, Jason Guliano dreamed he was looking around Fuego’s Pizza with its coowner Chris Barker. As he hung out with Barker, he realized there wasn’t much food in the store. He told Barker he needed to make some more pizzas. But, Barker looked at him and said the restaurant was actually closing down. And then, Guliano’s alarm went off. But that’s not where the story ended. Guliano checked his phone’s messages early the next morning, and there was one from his longtime friend Barker. The weird dream suddenly turned into reality — Barker was offering Fuego’s space to Guliano. “I was like, ‘Uh-oh,’” Guliano laughs. “I literally woke up and I was like ‘Oh my god, this just happened, it’s so weird.’ And you can’t not jump on that if you have something weird like that happen.” After that fateful dream and subsequent text message from Barker, Guliano got to work and opened That’sa Nice’a Pizza (11726 Baptist Church Road, Concord, 314-722-3121) on July 6 in the old Fuego’s space. Before it was Fuego’s, it was Feraro’s Jersey Style Pizza, and before it was Feraro’s — it was That’sa Nice’a Pizza. The pizza joint, which has operated out of its Arnold location (299 Richardson Road, Suite 2, Arnold, 636-2960950) since the Concord location closed in 2008, is now back in its original community. Concord was home to the original for 34 years, Guliano explains, so going back to where it all started will be a homecoming that’s packed with people that have been waiting for their pizza fix for some twelve years. The Arnold location will remain open as well. He says the feedback from the community has been crazy. What initially started as him telling five people about the additional location quickly spread throughout the community. The announcement on Facebook had more than 500 likes and nearly 300 comments, something he doesn’t regularly see on his posts as a small-business owner. For Guliano, the ’za joint was his first job and one he kept coming back to over the years because of the community built around it. “No other business I’ve ever worked for had the customers just been like in love and expressed it. It’s not for every-

Jason Guliano is the owner of That’sa Nice’a Pizza. | JENNA JONES body, don’t get me wrong. You may try it and be like, ‘Eh, it’s OK,’ or you may try it and be amazed by it,” Guliano says. “With this place, it’s just constant — it’s all over social media. When people come in, they’re constantly reinforcing, ‘It’s so good! I can’t believe it.’ Especially when they found out we’re still open in Arnold and people haven’t had this in ten years, they’re just ecstatic.” The menu at the new-old location will be the same as it always has been — pizza, toasted ravs, wings, salads, pasta. You name it, it’s there. There’s not much setting the two locations apart, Guliano says, except maybe the interior. Concord will be decorated with a sports wall, whereas the Arnold restaurant has the classic green and red paint on the walls alongside a menu. Guliano has removed the dine-in areas for both restaurants. COVID-19 revealed the problem with having people too close together and stretching an already-thin staff further. The main challenge — besides opening itself — has been staffing, Guliano says. Like at many other businesses in a COVID-19 world, the amount of people applying for jobs has been at a low. Guliano has about fourteen employees at his Arnold location, with about five at the Concord location. He worries about keeping his customers happy as he expects a pretty steady, if not busy, opening week. His orders at the Arnold location have doubled as COVID-19 increased his pickup-and-delivery-only business, with weekend wait times reaching 45 minutes to an hour for a pickup order. Guliano is doing little advertising to ease his opening week — he’s trying not to overload his employees. He’s only putting out Facebook posts and information on his website. “When I post and tell people we’re going to be open, I’m going to put a big disclaimer like, ‘Look, we don’t have a lot of people but we gotta open, we’re paying rent,’” Guliano says. “I just want to ask people to please be patient. When we first open, it’s going to be busy.” He’s working to manage an opening

weekend like he had when he opened the Arnold location fifteen years ago. When Arnold opened, Guliano said he was sliding around the back of his pizza shop on his knees, trying to get pizzas out of the oven and orders out the door. He had new employees that he was still trying to train and the orders were pouring in. Guliano just wants to make sure those who order a pizza the first few weeks walk away feeling satisfied. He says he had an old employee whose family ordered during the Arnold location’s opening and hated the pizza because the new restaurant was still working out kinks. “When he first ordered our pizza, [his family] called it ‘That’sa Not’a Pizza’ be-

[SAUSAGES]

Pleased to Meat You Popular Filipino pop-up Fattened Caf launches sausage brand in area grocery stores Written by

CHERYL BAEHR

ast March, Darren Young and Charlene Lopez Young were riding high on the wave of success following their first-ever Filipino brunch. For three years, the husband-and-wife team had been doing pop-up Filipino barbecue events around town under the name Fattened Caf, but even the enthusiastic response they’d received to those paled in comparison to this 300-person affair. Thrilled with the reception, the Youngs left the event exhausted but excited for what they saw as their path forward — bringing Filipino brunch to St. Louis. Two weeks later, COVID-19 ground the food and beverage industry to a

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cause it was bad,” Guliano explains. “I don’t know what was wrong with it, but at some point they decided to give it another shot and just fell in love with it. And now it’s every week, if they’re in town, they’re ordering.” At Concord, the employees opening the shop with him are more experienced, so he believes they can handle a good amount of business. He’s not complaining about the rush of customers he expects — he’s happy to serve a community that loves the pizza he makes. Guliano says over half of his business comes from regular customers ordering once or twice a week, maybe monthly. Comments flood his new Facebook page for Concord, asking when he’s planning on opening, or just a simple, “We’re eagerly waiting for your return!” Guliano turned over the “Open” sign on July 6. He describes the movement as something that will spread like Charlotte’s Web, all over the neighborhood and internet. “I’m not going to complain,” Guliano says. “Something that’s been open for over 47 years, it’s got to be good. You don’t last if it’s not good. I’m definitely feeling blessed, grateful, you know. We care. It’s not just ‘Here, get your pizza, give me your ten bucks and get out of here, I don’t care what you think about it.’ I like hearing people.” That’sa Nice’a Pizza Concord is open Monday through Thursday from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., Friday and Saturday from 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., and Sunday 4 to 9 p.m. Find more information and the menu on the website, at thatsaniceapizza.com. n

halt and put the Youngs’ dream of perfecting their Filipino brunch events on indefinite hold. However, they didn’t let that stop them. Instead, the pair have reimagined Fattened Caf beyond popups, expanding their brand to include a line of Filipino sausages that is now available in 67 Schnucks markets — and the Youngs are not stopping there. “We want Filipino food available in mainstream grocery stores,” says Charlene. “For a while, our food stayed in international enclaves at international stores, but now, St. Louis has a local Filipino brand in a mainstream grocery store. I don’t know if other cities like L.A. have that. We shop in mainstream stores. Why shouldn’t our food be on the shelves next to Thai and Indian and Chinese foods? We’re excited for how this can grow and hope that Filipino food becomes a household name for Americans — because it’s good!” The Youngs’ path to Fattened Caf began roughly four years ago. After moving to St. Louis from Los Angeles, Charlene was struck by how few fellow Filipinos she encountered in her new hometown. Growing up in California, she was always surrounded by a large Filipino community, but in St. Louis, Continued on pg 45

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FATTENED CAF Continued from pg 43

she felt alone. Around that time, Darren was also noticing something about his new city, albeit a much lighter observation. A California native, his experience with barbecue prior to moving to St. Louis consisted of Chili’s baby back ribs; the moment he had his first taste of Pappy’s Smokehouse, he was overwhelmed by what he’d been missing and set out to discover all that he could about grilled and smoked meats. Eventually, Darren grew tired of spending the money to go out to eat all the time and started experimenting with barbecue himself. His passion for it was matched by the amount of meat in his refrigerator, and eventually, he and Charlene realized that they had to figure out a way to share their food with others. They began hosting game nights for friends, who were so enamored with Darren’s barbecue that they began encouraging the pair to figure out a way to share it with a wider audience. That’s when it hit Charlene: Barbecue is a huge part of Filipino food culture. Why not begin doing Filipino barbecue as a way to introduce her culture to her friends in St. Louis? From that moment forward, the Youngs turned their game nights into full-blown Filipino feasts, gar-

With its new sausage line, the Fattened Caf hopes to bring Filipino food to a broader audience. | MIRANDA MUNGUIA FOR THE FATTENED CAF nering high praise from anyone who attended. News spread through their social circle of their outstanding food, and before they knew it, they were catering for friends, then friends of friends until they realized they were onto something big. “We were on our way back from the Philippines and started talking about doing pop-ups or a food trailer and came up with the idea of the Fattened Caf,” Charlene explains. “There’s this scripture in the Bible about the prodigal son, and when he returns, his father says he

will slaughter the fattest calf and invite everyone to celebrate. That’s what we wanted to do — to cook a feast because we want everyone to come together and enjoy each other’s cultures and create a culture around Filipino food in St. Louis where there really wasn’t one.” The Youngs launched the Fattened Caf in 2017 at a pop-up at Milque Toast and have grown their brand over the past four years through other events around town, farmers’ markets and a residency at Earthbound Beer that began in 2019.

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Though they assumed they were working toward an eventual brick-and-mortar restaurant, the opportunity with Schnucks — part of the store’s effort to help local minority-owned businesses during the pandemic — has changed the way they see their brand moving forward. That, together with a recent $50,000 grant from the University of Missouri-St. Louis Diversity Equity and Inclusion Accelerator, has helped them recast Fattened Caf as a consumer products company as much as a pop-up restaurant, and they hope to keep moving in that direction. In addition to the Schnucks arrangement and the UMSL grant, the pair credit fellow Filipino trailblazers in the St. Louis food community for helping to pave the way for Fattened Caf. The Youngs point to such places as Guerrilla Street Food and St. Louis Filipino Bread, as well as Malou Perez-Nievera and her pop-up kamayan feasts, for putting Filipino food in the conversation — something Charlene and Darren are both thrilled to be a part of. “We can’t ever say that we got here on our own, because as much work as we did, the folks in the industry and the community embraced us and pushed us to do what we wanted to do,” Charlene says. “Everything has been a great collaborative effort. It’s taken a village, and this is such a community effort. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the St. Louis community embracing us and giving us a seat at the table.” n

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REEFERFRONT TIMES New Restaurant to Offer Hot Dogs Infused with Delta-8, CBD Written by

HOLDEN HINDES

Note the responsibly attired hot dog mannequin. | HOLDEN HINDES

nside TNT Wieners, a sign for ice cream looks about 60 years old. Two adult-sized foam hot dog costumes hang on coat hooks in a corner. And a third hot dog costume adorns a manne uin with a mask properly fitted over her nose and mouth. She stands watching the door. Co-owner Jamal Lewis is also watching the door, glancing over my shoulder as we talk about his plans for the new hot dog shop. “We gotta get people in this space,” he says. He laments that people stop and look at the energetic facade, displaying dozens of hot dogs, and then keep walking down the Delmar Loop, often crowded with foot traffic. Along with hot dogs, TNT also serves Illinois-based Excel sodas from a fountain, cans of beer and ice cream. Vegan and gluten-free options are available, as advertised on a sidewalk sign in front of the store. There are plans to incorporate marijuana derivatives as well. Lewis and his business partner, Amber Rodgers, bought the shop (formerly Wacked Out Wiener) off of Facebook Marketplace. “The owner, Tina, had another business that she was running. She did a great job of bringing it up to where it is now, and I feel like we’re capable of taking it to the next level,” Lewis says. Lewis started in the restaurant industry at the age of fifteen, manning the grill at Steak ’n Shake. After climbing the ranks to operations supervisor, he struck out with a partner to start a restau-

Rodgers (left) speaks to an employee in front of the current menu. | HOLDEN HINDES rant called Fried in Downtown West. “Fried was a weed-themed restaurant.” Seeking a late-night, munchies-fueled clientele, Fried served comfort food with marijuana-inspired names five chicken nuggets for $5 was a “nickel bag,” a dozen for $10, a “dime bag.” There were options to get your meal “rolled” in a burrito, or to “pack a bowl” with mac and cheese. “Unfortunately, partnerships didn’t work out,” Lewis says. Fried closed down. “Maybe a year ago, I told [Rodgers] I would never do a restaurant again.” But then the TNT listing on Facebook came along, and things fell into place. Now, they have grand plans, which will begin rolling out in July.

At a launch event scheduled for the grand opening, Lewis hoped to continue the legacy of Fried. He and Rodgers plan to infuse Delta-8 and CBD into their hot dogs, both derivatives of marijuana. Lewis explains that they are legal for consumption by those eighteen years and older. “I’m trying to bring the comfort back to comfort food,” he says. Other features planned for the event were a DJ and a doctor. The doctor, a friend of Lewis, was expected to help people get their medical marijuana cards. These steps are all aimed towards drawing people into the restaurant. Lewis and Rodgers are determined to make hot dogs

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The plan is to infuse Delta-8 and CBD, which is legal for consumption by those eighteen years and older. “I’m trying to bring the comfort back to comfort food,” says Jamal Lewis. relevant outside of ballparks and backyards. “[July] is hot dog month. We’re gonna do a new hot dog every week,” he says. With the help of Carl Lipsey, former chef at the Moonrise Hotel, Lewis and Rodgers are poised to reinvent the menu. “I wanna really filet it up, attract a different type of crowd that’s like, ‘Oh my.’ I wanna be on the Food Network for these hot dogs. … I wanna have a good munchie food, backyard hot dogs, but then I want the upper-echelon gourmet dogs, make people wanna travel around the world. Eventually we’ll get there — we probably won’t start there, but eventually it’ll be like ‘They really put a twist on hot dogs!’” “We have a lot of modern ideas, a lot of innovative ideas that people wouldn’t even think about. Like eating a ‘hot dog,’” Rodgers says, making air quotes around “hot dog” as she talks. “You know what I’m saying?” Lewis and Rodgers want to reinvent the hot dog and make a name for themselves and for their customers. Lewis says the food industry is a great way to reach people. “Everybody eats. We were both really eager about getting into our own business, finding our next wave.” Rodgers adds, “We’re gonna enjoy being kids, but also enjoy being adults, enjoy life again. After COVID, everybody can get out of their houses, and we wanna be a place where you can feel safe to come.” n

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HELP WANTED ST. LOUIS AND SURROUNDING AREAS

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MAY 12-18, 2021

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CULTURE Matt F. Basler Is Whoopin’ Ass in Short Shorts Written by

DANIEL HILL

aken on its own, Brantley Gilbert’s “Read Me My Rights” isn’t an especially noteworthy song. A bro-country anthem extolling the virtues of fist-swinging vigilante justice exacted in the parking lot of an undefined establishment against a man identified only as “Ol’ Boy,” the testosteronefueled track wasn’t even included on the original release of Gilbert’s 2014 album Just As I Am, instead popping up on the deluxe edition, sold exclusively at Walmart. It would seem that even those handling the release of the album knew well that the song is a b-side at best, and a shining example of the lazy, largely unlistenable songwriting that’s clogged the pop-country airwaves for going on two decades now. But in the hands of St. Louis singer/songwriter and social media sensation Matt F. Basler, “Read Me My Rights” is pure magic. Since March 2, 2019, Basler has uploaded more than 300 videos to TikTok using the song as a soundtrack, amassing more than 2.2 million likes and upwards of 52,000 followers as he endlessly lip syncs Gilbert’s vow that there will be an “ass-whooping in the parking lot,” sometimes as his nipples fall off, sometimes while wearing tiny gold shorts and frequently while executing a series of high kicks. The situation has since snowballed to include a synthpop cover album of pop-country tracks, released over the Fourth of July weekend, all of whose lyrical content involves beating the shit out of people. The long-running joke started innocently enough. “One of the first TikToks I ever saw was a very tough country boy looking like a big tough guy

This is the last thing you’ll see before the fists start flying. | MIKE ROMER to the song,” Basler explains. “And you know, he’s this guy who starts far away and then he walks up to the camera and is showing his muscles and punching and stuff. And it was funny to me to think of this very tough man, with no sleeves, setting up his phone on the bed of his truck or whatever and then setting the timer and running back to where he wanted to start to get into tough mode. That’s funny. I wanted to do that.” The joke, as Basler sees it, is that he himself is not a tough country boy. “I’m more of a noodly armed bitch,” he says. And so Basler set about uploading near-daily videos of himself lip-syncing to the song, amassing a legion of followers. But then, in December 2019, tragedy struck. “One day they pulled, there was like a copyright strike or whatever on that particular song, and all my videos went away,” Basler explains. “Oh no, what am I gonna do?” A video Basler uploaded on December 19, 2019, laments the unfortunate development with the words “Is this the end?” and “Has Old Boy won?” appearing over a continuous scroll of Basler’s nowsilent videos, each marked with “This sound isn’t available” at

the top. Over it, Basler recorded a mournful acoustic cover of “Read Me My Rights,” serving to bring home the severity of the loss. As it turns out, though, the solution was staring him right in the face. As March 2020 rolled around and COVID-19 lockdowns were put into place, Basler found himself with some extra time on his hands. He decided to make the most of a bad situation by recording several covers of the song — his acoustic cover hadn’t been slapped down by the platform, so why not try a metal version? How about a ska cover? Crucially, why not a synth-pop version? “The synth one — that was the most popular,” Basler says. Indeed, at the time of this writing, Basler’s synth-pop cover of “Read Me My Rights” has seen more than 100,000 plays on Spotify alone. Soon, Basler’s legions of fans were clamoring for an album featuring all of his covers of the song. But Basler was thinking bigger. “That seemed more boring than ust finding other country songs about beating people up, throwing on a little pair of shorts and covering them synth style,” he says. The resulting six-song EP, titled I’m Gonna **** Your ***, was re-

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corded by Basler in his home and mixed by Matt Sawicki of Suburban Pro Studios. It features a selection of ass-kicking-centric tunes by the likes of Toby Keith, Trace Adkins, Eric Church, Justin Moore, Tyler Farr and, of course, Brantley Gilbert, delivered with none of the twang and bravado of the originals, subbing in bubbling synth lines and subdued vocal deliveries in their stead. Accompanying the EP on the date of its release was a music video, shot by Basler’s wife Courtney Jones on an old Magnavox Movie Maker, to the tune of Toby Keith’s “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (Angry American),” a 9/11-era track that is frequently lamented by frustrated fans of country music as the moment the genre began to devolve from its anti-establishment roots and toward uber-patriotism and hyper-masculinity. The video sees Basler sporting a pair of American flag short shorts and a leather jacket with “USA” on the sleeves, high-kicking his way through an undisclosed south-city location, hanging out on the hood of a Honda minivan and lounging on a mattress next to a dumpster. During the “We’ll put a boot in your ass; it’s the American way” line that graces Sean Hannity’s radio show intro, Basler stares directly into the camera, looking tough in a close-up shot. “There’s nothing that makes you seem tougher than telling people how tough you are,” Basler muses. “You must be very secure in that to have to very plainly state, ‘No, I’m gonna whoop your ass! I can do it!’” And that seems to be the theme that carries the album, whose remaining tracks include “Whoop a Man’s Ass,” “Keep On,” “Redneck Crazy” and, literally, “I Could Kick Your Ass.” That it was recorded and released by a self-described “noodly armed bitch” clad in short shorts only serves to drive home the absurdity inherent in the original tracks. Oh, and speaking of absurdity, those hundreds of TikTok videos? They’ve all been put back online, making for a happy ending for our ass-kicking protagonist. “ ow rantley ilbert is officially on TikTok, and they have reinstated all my old videos, too,” Basler says triumphantly. “So they’re all back. The legacy is intact.” n

JULY 14-20, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

[ WA L L S ]

Volpi Foods Hosting Mural Contest Written by

JENNA JONES

itting on Daggett Avenue, there’s a plain, white stone wall begging to be painted. It’s been there for four generations, waiting for the right artist and time. Volpi Foods (5256 Daggett Avenue, 314-446-7950) announced a mural contest as a way to commemorate its 120th anniversary while honoring its home neighborhood. The business put out a call for artists with the promise of a

$6,000 commission for the winner. Also included is a public unveiling of the mural where the artist will be honored. The building sits in the historic Italian neighborhood the Hill and has since 1902. John Volpi started the family business, and now his great-niece runs the shop, which is a producer of specialty cured meats. “In 1899, my great-uncle John Volpi arrived in St. Louis from Milan, Italy, bringing with him little more than a craft and an idea — an idea to bring the centuries-old-tradition of dry-curing meats across the ocean to the American Midwest,” Volpi Foods CEO Lorenza Pasetti said in a statement. “We hope this mural will evoke the vibrant heritage of The Hill community.” Artists are asked to submit their background, a mural description of up to 400 words, a pencil sketch of their proposed mural, and their website or social media handles. All mural concepts should be submitted by July 30. Artists can include nods to Volpi’s history but shouldn’t make it look like an advertisement. References to Ital-

This wall is just waiting for its big moment. | VIA VOLPI FOODS ian immigrants or the Hill’s history also work. Proposed murals should “portray the rich historic feel of The Italian Hill district, landmarks, events” according to the business’s website. Second- and third-place submissions will be awarded with payment and be honored at the pub-

[ S TA G E ]

Repertory Theatre of St. Louis Announces Live Shows Written by

JENNA JONES

wo world premieres will take the stage at the Repertory Theatre of St. Louis (130 Edgar Road, Webster Groves; 314-968-4925) this season. The 2021-2022 lineup was announced last week, and the Rep will be returning to live shows. The season kicks off on September 10 with the world premiere of Dreaming Zenzile, a musical about South African songstress Miriam Makeba. The show is written and performed by Grammy-nominated international musician Somi Kakoma. Dreaming Zenzile ends on October 3. The world premiere of The

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The season will kick off with the world premiere of Dreaming Zenzile, written and performed by Grammy-winning singer/songwriter Somi Kakoma. | CHRIS SCHWAGG Gradient will be right on its heels. Written by Steph Del Rosso, it’s “a satire set in the not-so-distant future in which a new facility prom-

JULY 14-20, 2021

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ises to take men accused of sexual misconduct and rehabilitate them into responsible citizens,” according to a release. The show begins

lic unveiling. The winning artist will be creating a 16-foot-high, 29-foot-wide mural with acrylic paint. Painted between September 15 and October , the final product will be unveiled on October 16. Submit murals or see more information at volpifoods.com. n October 1 at the Center of Creative Arts (6880 Washington Avenue, 314-725-6555). In time for the holiday season, A Christmas Carol will premiere on December 3 at the Rep. Single tickets for the shows go on sale August 2, but subscriptions are available now at repstl.org. “We are excited to be returning to the stage for a new season of live theatre featuring the work of thought-leading playwrights including our own playwright-inresidence, Regina Taylor,” Hana Sharif, the Augustin Family Artistic Director for the Rep, said in a press release. “We know our audiences have been eager to return to the theatre and we’re delighted this compelling season offers something for everyone to enjoy.” Dreaming Zenzile: September 10 through October 3; Loretto-Hilton Center for the Performing Arts. The Gradient: October 1 through 24; Catherine B. Berges Theatre at COCA. A Christmas Carol: December 3 throug 23; Loretto-Hilton Center for the Performing Arts. The 39 Steps: Janunary 21 through February 13; Loretto-Hilton Center for the Performing Arts. The Trinity River Plays: February 11 through March 6; Catherine B. Berges Theatre at COCA. House of Joy: March 18 through April 10; Loretto-Hilton Center for the Performing Arts. n

CALENDAR

WEEK OF JULY 14-20

une 19, attendees learned how to craft their own upcycled weaving. They used salvaged burlap coffee bags and yarns, and they were able to add color to craft a uni ue piece. Participate in the workshops by finding the tables on the sidewalk on McPherson. Seating is a firstcome, first-served deal. But Wait There’s More: Artist demonstrations and street performances will also be going on throughout the event. Visit Central West End’s website at cwescene.com for more information. —Jenna Jones

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15 Punk Rock and Paint Brushes 6 p.m. Wednesday, July 14 and Thursday, July 15. 31 Art Gallery, 3520 Hampton Avenue. Free to $110. Nothing says punk rock like paintings of punk rockers. Head over to 31 Art Gallery this week to celebrate the release of Punk Rock Paintbrushes’ new book, The Insides of Artists Written By Outsiders. You won’t find any Damaged Goods at this show, nor any Anarchy in the U.K. (OK, that one is a stretch), just fantastic punk-inspired art. Night one is a VIP event with limited tickets at 11 . ight two opens the art exhibit free to the public. One Way or Another, you’ll have to register at Eventbrite.com. ather-daughter punk rock pair ent Duo will be there to ick Out The ams. ey ho, you should go! Should I Stay or Should I Go: eatured artists from the two-night event include Steve Caballero, Matt Hensley, Christian Hosoi, Paul Kobriger, Brian Bent, Matt ensley, Dan Smith, ason Adams, Blair Alley and Brandon Novak. —Jack Probst

FRIDAY, JULY 16 Sunflowers and Sunsets 6:30 p.m. Friday, July 16 and Saturday, July 17. Eckert’s Farm, 951 South Green Mount Road, Belleville. $30. 618233-0513. Sunflowers, sunsets and boo e. If that combo pi ues your interest, ckert’s arm in elleville has got you covered. After its recent blossoming of sunflowers, the farm has now added “Sunflowers and Sunsets,” an event slated for guests 1 and older. The farm is inviting guests to its fields to watch the sunset on July 16 and 17. Patrons will be able to sip some complimentary hard cider with a friend, family member or partner before getting on the tractor to ride out to the sunflower fields. Then you’ll sip some more cider, but this time surrounded by the sunflowers as

Punk Rock & Paintbrushes’ two-day St. Louis event will celebrate the release of the collective’s new coffee table book full of art. | VIA PUNK ROCK & PAINTBRUSHES

One way to celebrate Bastille Day. | COLIN MUTCHLER/FLICKR the sun sets over the field. And it’s not just one type of sippable beverage — Eckert’s is offering an entirely new line of hard cider. A small box of cheese and crackers will be included so you can have a snack with your drink as well. The Fine Print: Tickets are priced at per person and can be purchased on eckerts.com. The event goes from to 9 p.m. each night. eservations are re uired and seats are limited. —Jenna Jones

SATURDAY, JULY 17 CWE Art Stroll 12 p.m. Saturday, July 17. McPherson Avenue and North Euclid Avenue. Free. Street performers, DIY work-

shops, live music and art demonstrations take over the Central West End on McPherson Avenue this Saturday. Every third Saturday of the month, the neighborhood hosts an “Art Stroll,” allowing people to explore a variety of art galleries. eatured in the stroll are the Duane eed allery, Philip Slein Gallery and projects+gallery. There’s also plenty of local stores in the artsy strip to shop from, such as Centro Modern urnishings, the Silver Lady and Enchanting mbellishments. DIY craft workshops will be hosted by Perennial, a St. ouis non-profit that is dedicated to creative reuse, “the process of artistically transforming discarded goods into objects of worth,” according to its website. The organi ation will be on site from 1 p.m. to p.m. and participation is free. On

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SUNDAY, JULY 18 Bastille Weekend & Beheading 4 p.m. Saturday, July 17 and 11 a.m. Sunday, July 18. Pontiac Square Park, South Ninth Street and Shenandoah Avenue. $25. 314-289-5300. Soulard will celebrate the 1 9 fall of the Bastille in Paris this weekend, honoring the rench heritage of the area with a staging of the “gathering of the mob parade led by the “king and ueen around local bars and restaurants. When the caravan hits Pontiac S uare Park, the fun begins and by fun, we mean the park is where the mob will behead the royalty. Yes, behead Don’t worry, it’s staged, but it still seems like a lot of cra y, cathartic fun, especially in the times we’re currently living through. The following day, more than twenty bars and restaurants will be participating in Sample Soulard Sunday, the Bastille edition. The paid event is ust and includes seven taste tickets, a Soulard Bastille Weekend souvenir mug, drink specials and free trolley rides in case you were accidentally beheaded the day before and ust can’t muster the strength to walk. Off With Their Heads: Some of the restaurants supporting the beheading event include Cat’s Meow, oo Coo, ammerstone’s, enry’s, Duke’s, astille, D’s Place, 1 ’s Saloon and reat ri ly. or a complete list of restaurants and menus, check out historicsoulard.com. —Jack Probst

JULY 14-20, 2021

RIVERFRONT TIMES

The Pixies will be playing The Factory on September 17. | PRESS PHOTO

Summertime Rolls Rock shows are back! If you’re vaxxed, that is. Here are a few recently announced highlights of the summer Compiled by

DANIEL HILL ALANIS MORISSETTE: W/ Garbage, Liz Phair, Sat., Sept. 18, 7 p.m., $66-$311. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. ANTI-FLAG: W/ Dog Party, Oxymorrons, Grumpster, Sat., Sept. 18, 8 p.m., $20. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. BIG FREEDIA: W/ Too Many Zooz, Sun., Sept. 19, 8 p.m., $25-$28. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. BIG THIEF: Sat., Sept. 11, 8 p.m., $29.50-$32.50. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. BLACK PUMAS: W/ Seratones, Thu., Aug. 5, 9 p.m., $35. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. CAVE STATES: W/ Adam Reichmann, Fri., July 16, 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. COUNTING CROWS: W/ Matt Sucich, Sean Barna, Sat., Aug. 21, 7 p.m., $29.50-$139.50. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. DINOSAUR JR.: W/ Ryley Walker, Thu., Sept. 16, 8 p.m., $30-$35. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. EL MONSTERO: W/ the Schwag, Sat., July 24, 7 p.m., $19.95. Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre, I-70 & Earth City Expwy., Maryland Heights, 314-298-9944. ELECTRIC SIX: W/ Matt F Basler, Fri., Aug. 20, 8 p.m., $20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. THE FIGHTING SIDE EP RELEASE: W/ Yard Eagle, Quinlan Conley, Fri., July 23, 7 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. FOXING: Sat., Aug. 14, 8 p.m., $18-$20. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. JESUS CHRIST SUPERCAR: W/ Little Cowboy, Sister Wizzard, Sat., July 17, 8 p.m., $15. Blueberry Hill - The Duck Room, 6504 Delmar Blvd.,

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JULY 14-20, 2021

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University City, 314-727-4444. KIP & JJ LOUI CD RELEASE: Sun., Aug. 15, 1 p.m., $10. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. LIVING COLOUR & HOOBASTANK: Wed., July 21, 8 p.m., $25-$49. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720. MIDDLE CLASS FASHION: W/ No Thunder, Fri., Aug. 6, 8 p.m., $15-$20. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. MO EGESTON ALL-STARS: Sat., July 17, 7 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. NIKKI GLASER: Sat., Sept. 25, 7 p.m., $49.75$155.75. The Factory, 17105 N Outer 40 Rd, Chesterfield, 1 . OPEN HIGHWAY MUSIC FESTIVAL DAY 1: W/ Old Crow Medicine Show, River Kittens, Amber Skies, Thu., Aug. , p.m., 1. Chesterfield Amphitheater, 631 Veterans Place Drive, Chesterfield. OPEN HIGHWAY MUSIC FESTIVAL DAY 2: W/ Marcus King Band, The Dip, Maness Brothers, atara, ri., Aug. , p.m., 1. Chesterfield Amphitheater, 631 Veterans Place Drive, Chesterfield. OPEN HIGHWAY MUSIC FESTIVAL DAY 3: W/ Watchhouse, Sat., Aug. 7, 1 p.m., $41. Chesterfield Amphitheater, 1 Veterans Place Drive, Chesterfield. OPEN HIGHWAY MUSIC FESTIVAL DAY 4: W/ Whitey Morgan, Paul Cauthen, Morgan Wade, Flatland Cavalry, Alexandra Kay, Western States, Nick Gusman and The Coyotes, Prairie ehab, Sun., Aug. , 1 p.m., 1. Chesterfield Amphitheater, 631 Veterans Place Drive, Chesterfield. THE PIXIES: W/ the Clockworks, Fri., Sept. 17, 8 p.m., $39.50-$69.50. The Factory, 17105 N Outer d, Chesterfield, 1 . POI DOG PONDERING: Sat., Sept. 11, 8 p.m., $25$30. Delmar Hall, 6133 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. RED FLAG GRAND OPENING: W/ Fragile Porcelain Mice, Ashes & Iron, Blight Future, Sat., Aug. 7, 8 p.m., $15. Red Flag, 3040 Locust Street, St. Louis, 314-289-9050. RIFF RAFF: Sun., Aug. 22, 8 p.m., $25-$49. Pop’s Nightclub, 401 Monsanto Ave., East St. Louis, 618-274-6720. RISE AGAINST: W/ the Descendents, the Menzingers, Fri., Aug. 27, 7 p.m., $39.50-$59.50. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. SQUEEZE: Fri., Aug. 27, 8 p.m., $55. The Pageant, 6161 Delmar Blvd., St. Louis, 314-726-6161. TORRES: W/ Ariana and the Rose, Sun., Sept. 19, 8 p.m., $15. Off Broadway, 3509 Lemp Ave., St. Louis, 314-498-6989. WILCO & SLEATER-KINNEY: W/ NNAMDÏ, Fri., Aug. 13, 7 p.m., $35. St. Louis Music Park, 750 Casino Center Dr., Maryland Heights, 314-451-2244. n

SAVAGE LOVE EMOTIONAL ARSONISTS BY DAN SAVAGE Hey, Dan: I’m a nineteen-year-old girl who was dumped a few months ago. My partner found out he didn’t like my body when we were having sex for the first time, and he told me right after. We were actually still in bed naked when he told me. He kept cuddling me to make me feel a bit better but it still hurt to hear. Other than slight doubts about genitals and my face (I have Asian features and having my face and living in a Western country isn’t always easy), I didn’t go into that experience expecting to be rejected. We had talked about all the sexual stuff we wanted to do, and he had previously told me I was attractive and thicc and paid me other compliments. Undressing for someone and then being rejected was devastating, and I don’t have other experiences to weigh this one against and take reassurance from. My self-esteem dropped. I know his tastes and preferences shouldn’t be a problem for me now, since we are no longer together, but I can’t stop thinking about them. I’ve known him for five years. He means a lot to me and we want to continue to be friends. I wish someone had told me that having sex with someone isn’t a guarantee that everything will always work out. (Having sex with them being sexually open and generous and having nice tits too!) I started therapy but I also wanted some advice from you. Babe Only Desires Intuitive Emotional Support “People who are brutally honest generally enjoy the brutality more than the honesty.” The late Canadian humorist and newspaper columnist Richard Needham wasn’t talking about your ex-whatever-he-was when he made that observation, BODIES, but he could’ve been. Yeah, yeah: Sometimes we only realize we aren’t as attracted to someone as we thought until after we’ve slept with that person. That’s sadly the case sometimes. But your ex-whatever’s comments were so gratuitously cruel, BODIES, that it’s hard to avoid concluding (if I may borrow a phrase) that cru-

elty was the point. He could’ve and should’ve given you a million other reasons why he didn’t want to sleep with you again — this may be one of those rare instances where ghosting would’ve been kinder. At the very least he should’ve given you a chance to get dressed before he let you know he wasn’t interested in having sex with you again. That your very first sex partner chose to brutalize you like this — that he didn’t make the slightest effort to spare your feelings — is an almost unforgivable betrayal. Unless this boy is somewhere on the spectrum and has difficulty anticipating how a direct statement might hurt another person’s feelings, BODIES, there’s no excuse for what he did. Sticking around to cuddle after saying that shit isn’t proof he’s a good person. The arsonist who sticks around to piss on your house after setting it on fire isn’t being kind, ODI S, he’s warming his dick by the fire and enjoying the blaze. Please know that being rejected by someone doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your body, BODIES, or with your genitals or your face or your race or your features. Swiping right on someone who didn’t swipe right on you or sleeping with someone who doesn’t want to sleep with you again isn’t proof you’re flawed or unattractive. It just means you’re not right for that particular person, BODIES, and for reasons particular to that person. Rejection sucks and it always hurts, and for that reason we should strive to be as considerate as possible when we have to reject someone. Considerate but clear, considerate but unambiguous, but always considerate. And what this guy did to you — not even letting you get dressed first was as inconsiderate as possible and you have every right to be angry with him. If you had to get a therapist after sleeping with someone, it’s a pretty good indication that person should have no place in your life — as a lover or a friend — going forward. Keep seeing your shrink, BODIES, and stop talking to this asshole. Hey, Dan: I’ve gone through many variations of relationships, from monogamous to open. My new partner is incredibly smart, open-

“She told me to use protection if I should ever cheat and not to tell her about it. At first I was like, ‘Cool, but I’m not going to cheat,’ but now I find myself thinking about it.” minded, loving, GGG — all the things, right? So, I find myself a bit perplexed and troubled by a statement she made. She was in a relationship prior to the one with me, and the person she was with wanted to be free to do as he wished sexually. She told him that was “fine” so long as he used protection and she didn’t know about it. Apparently that worked so well for her that she made me the same offer after we decided to become sexually exclusive: She told me to use protection if I should ever cheat and not to tell her about it. At first I was like, “Cool, but I’m not going to cheat,” but now I find myself thinking about it. And if I do cheat I will use protection and keep it to myself, per her request. So why am I writing to you? I have a high sex drive and a history of parental neglect and abuse. I find that I seek validation from women and I have a fairly good idea that it’s due to what I endured from my mother. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months since we have been dating, and I do love her. I know people often get caught — even with a hall pass — and I don’t want to lose her because of this. I want to make peace with never being with another person or with using the “hall pass” I’ve been given. How do I do that? Hesitant About Lying Lest Partner’s Anger Sabotages Situation You can make all the peace you want with being monogamous, HALLPASS, but that won’t make being monogamous any easier for you.

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Zooming out for a second: Your desire to have sex with more than one person might have something to do with the trauma you suffered in childhood … or it might not. A lot of people have high sex drives and risk-taking personalities and a desire for variety, and not all of them were neglected or abused as children. But the culture encourages people who don’t wanna be monogamous (that’s a lot of people or who find monogamy difficult that’s everybody else) to see themselves as damaged. We’re told that monogamy is always easy for people who are emotionally healthy — which is a lie — and then we waste time digging through our childhood histories for something that might explain why this thing that’s supposed to be easy — monogamy — is so hard for us. (Spoiler: It’s hard for almost everyone.) It’s a waste of time, HALLPASS. You can and should see a therapist to help you work through the trauma you suffered as a child, of course, but don’t waste your time with a therapist who pathologizes your relatively normal desires or seeks to assign blame for them. So what do you do about your girlfriend? How about you … maybe … talk to her? Your new girlfriend has been perfectly clear — she doesn’t care if you cheat so long as you use protection and she doesn’t find out about it — but you need additional clarity. If you were to sleep with someone else and she found out about it despite your best efforts to prevent her from finding out about it what then If finding out you used the hall pass she gave you is something she couldn’t forgive, HALLPASS, then you obviously can’t use it without risking the relationship. (You’re right: People get caught.) Additionally, if that’s really how she feels, then your girlfriend shouldn’t be handing out hall passes in the first place. But if cheating is something she could tolerate — so long as protection was used and some consideration was shown for her feelings, i.e. you at least attempted to be discreet/keep it from her — then you don’t have to hand in that hall pass. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter www.savagelovecast.com

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JULY 14-20, 2021

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Riverfront Times, July 14, 2021

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