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Kickin’ it
Photos by Yvonne Gougelet c/o Hard Rock Tampa
Brazil was already knocked out of the Copa America, but one of the country’s greatest gifts to the world was in Tampa last Wednesday to watch some football. Ronaldinho hosted a watch party inside Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino’s Hard Rock Cafe, which was at capacity for a semifinal match between Colombia and Uruguay.
The 44-year-old World Cup and Champions League winner, two-time FIFA Player of the Year, and Copa champ greeted VIPs ahead of the match, but also made time for fans of the
superstar who lined the security barrier hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the great soccer players in history (he even hugged one kid, who was left in tears). After that, the FC Barcelona legend had dinner (ribs, fries) and a Corona in between interviews with famed Argentinian “Lente Loco” host Fernando Fiore who provided his trademark humor throughout the night as Colombia earned a 1-0 victory despite playing with just 10 men for a majority of the match (Colombia finished second in the tourney). See all the photos via cltampa.com/slideshows.—Ray Roa
do this
Tampa Bay's best things to do from July 18 - 24
Empowered hour
There are some traditions that you’d like to see live for a century or more. This gig is one of them. While Girls Rock Camp works year round to empower girls, gender-expansive folx and women with programs that are “explicitly feminist and anti-racist, with a focus on uplifting Black and brown young folks and people of non-dominant genders,” the nonprofit’s annual concert always feels like a holiday. Featuring eight bands formed a week prior, the show finds campers playing original songs—this time focused on country music—on the big stage at Jannus after spending camp breaking down stereotypes and building confidence all in the hopes of sending campers into the world ready to take creative risks, explore their identities and create positive social change. Kids 10 and under get in free, but will need a ticket.
‘Stand By Your Band’ Girls
Rock St. Pete Concert: Saturday, July 20. 6 p.m. $20 & up. Jannus Live, 200 1st Ave. N, St. Petersburg. girlsrockstpete.org—Ray Roa
Skin is in
It’s adults-only in the Plaza Terrace neighborhood near West Tampa this weekend when the long-running Skin! Art show returns. The fine art exhibition serves as a fundraiser for the nonprofit which works year-round to provide visual and performing arts education and opportunities for local creatives. Photographers, sketch artists, spoken word, fashion designers, and musicians are all part of the programming, along with body painters and more. “It’s just a full art show, a sensory exploration, everything you can see and hear, in an adult setting,” founder Hampton Allen told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “It’s just a big ol’ vibe for people to come out, enjoy themselves and have a good time.”
Skin! Art Show: Friday-Saturday, July 19-20. 6 p.m.-midnight. $30 & up. South University. 4401 N Himes Ave. Suite 175, Tampa. skinartshow.com—Ray Roa
Kilt’in it
The folks at Dunedin Brewery have long been on the front lines of the downtown’s fight to preserve any semblance of its vibrant nightlife which is once again under attack by folks who believe the city’s outdoor dining scene should more or less shut down after 11 p.m. (The city manager clarified the municipality’s ordinance recently, and will consider officially codifying an updated ordinance at a July 22 planning meeting and again at an Aug. 1 commission meeting). For now though, DunBrew is taking a breath to celebrate 28 turns around the sun. Its anniversary this weekend features special beers on tap (including ALS Session IPA, Crimson Mole), a pop-up from Tampa Bay’s most interesting hot dog slingers (Hazmat Hotdogs, who present interesting topping combos like cream cheese & peach relish or fluff & spice chili alongside more traditional offerings), live music and a silent disco. Beer movies will also screen in the adjacent Moon Tower venue. Anyone in a kilt gets $1 off their brew, naturally.
Dunedin Brewery 28th Anniversary Celebration: Saturday, July 20. Noon-11 p.m. No cover. Dunedin Brewery, 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin. dunedinbrewery.com—Ray Roa
7th heaven
Are you really from Tampa Bay if you haven’t had a Le Segunda Cuban sandwich? This weekend, Tampa’s famed bakery—which opened in Ybor City more than a century ago—celebrates its 109th anniversary by offering $7 Cubans (they’re usually $11.99), plus BOGO specials on all turnovers (including apple, for the non-Tampeños). There are conditions, however, including in-store only, no modifications, and a limit to just one per person. All four locations of the bakery will carry the special except for the spot in Seminole Heights, which is only doing BOGO turnovers.
La Segunda 109th Anniversary: Thursday, July 18. 6:30 a.m.-3 p.m. Multiple locations. lasegundabakery. com—Ray Roa
It’s going Downing
Last year, the City of St. Petersburg made Al Downing Day a thing. To continue celebrating the life and legacy of the late educator, musician and mentor who was also the city’s first Black Commissioner of the Housing Authority, his namesake foundation is hosting its firstever awards ceremony of sorts. A who’s who of the local jazz scene with be on hand as members of the Downing family—including Mrs. Deirdre Downing-Jackson—pay tribute to locals who’ve contributed to the fabric of Tampa Bay’s jazz landscape (including Frank Williams III and Michael Cornette). Naturally, the Al Downing All-Stars provide music for this matinee which also features vocalist Greg Porter, who is currently Director of Music at St. Pete’s Historic Bethel AME Church where Al Downing once served as church organist.
Al Downing Honors: Sunday, July 21. 3 p.m. $10-$50. Palladium Theater, 253 5th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. mypalladium.org—Ray Roa
You are not alone
From fishing videos to marine biology, melanated folks don’t have a lot of people who look like them running the show. While Jasmin Graham would love to just be a great scientist and do biology without any extra weight or burden, she—along with a trio of other Black female shark researchers, Amani WebberSchultz, Carlee Jackson and Jaida Elcock—launched Minorities in Shark Sciences in 2021 and haven’t looked back. “We just want to let other women of color know that they’re not alone and that they’re not weird for wanting to do this. And they’re not less feminine for wanting to do this. They’re not less Black or Indigenous or Latina for wanting to do this and that they can have their whole identities and be a scientist and study sharks,” Graham, who currently specializes in smalltooth sawfish and hammerhead sharks, told NPR that year. “And those things are not mutually exclusive.” Her new book, “Sharks Don’t Sink: Adventures of a Rogue Shark Scientist” is an inspiring, quick, read framed around sea creatures that’ve called Earth come for more than 400 million years, but the fish’s survival and evolution story intersects with Graham’s narrative in a way that teaches the reader a lot about their own humanity, too. She speaks to fans in her hometown for this Sunday conversation.
Shark’s Don’t Sink w/Jasmin Graham: Sunday, July 21. 3:30 p.m. $5-$28. Oxford Exchange, 420 W Kennedy Blvd., Tampa. oxfordexchange.com—Ray Roa
“In this case, justice delayed is justice denied.”
Giddy up
Andrew Warren call on appeals court to speed up reinstatement case.
By Mitch Perry/Florida Phoenix
While Andrew Warren and Monique Worrell, the two Democratic state attorneys suspended by Gov. Ron DeSantis for alleged misconduct, campaign to win their jobs back this summer, litigation continues in their respective cases.
In the case of Warren, attorneys for the suspended Hillsborough County state attorney called on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit this week to speed up the process to consider his case.
“For nearly six months, a single judge of this Court has withheld issuance of the mandate in a case that has been expedited at every stage — from discovery to appeal — and that will determine whether the votes of hundreds of thousands of Floridians actually matter,” wrote attorney David A. O’Neil, representing Warren.
“Every day that passes in this posture is one in which the results of a free and fair election are denied. This Court should immediately issue the mandate so the district court can promptly resolve this litigation.”
The brief doesn’t identify the judge.
Warren is the twice elected Democratic state attorney who was suspended by DeSantis in August 2022 for alleged “neglect of duty” and “incompetence” after he signed pledges not to prosecute alleged crimes arising from abortion or transgender care. Warren challenged his suspension in federal court, where U.S. District Judge Robert Hinkle ruled that DeSantis had violated the First Amendment in removing Warren because of political differences and anticipated “political benefit” to the governor — but said he lacked power to reinstate him.
“In this case, justice delayed is justice denied,” O’Neil writes in his brief. “This Court has already concluded that if Gov. DeSantis suspended Mr. Warren based on the stated rationale – his exercise of core political speech — then the suspension was illegal and invalid.
Warren nearly two years ago. She has raised $424,340 in her campaign and another $242,000 in her political committee account.
Worrell’s case
Meanwhile, in the situation involving suspended Orange and Osceola State Attorney Monique Worrell, a lawsuit was resubmitted in federal court in Orlando late last month by two citizens and an activist group alleging that their due process and First Amendment rights were violated when DeSantis suspended Worrell last August, effectively disenfranchising them.
LOCAL NEWS
she campaigned for the state attorney’s position in 2020, when she garnered more than 66% of the vote. Caicedo and Chowdhury say that her promised platform is what compelled them to vote for her, and that Caicedo “was inspired by Ms. Worrell’s commitment to people” and supported her policies for bail reform and decarceration. Chowdhury cast his ballot for her because, he says, he was inspired “by her promise to find alternate ways to reduce recidivism in the juvenile justice system.”
However, a three-judge Eleventh Circuit panel ruled in January that Hinkle should reconsider that decision. But instead of the case going back to Hinkle, attorneys for Gov. DeSantis asked for a rehearing by a full panel of judges on the appeals court. That hasn’t happened yet, much to the consternation of Warren’s legal team.
“The voters of Florida’s Thirteenth Judicial Circuit have therefore been unlawfully deprived for more than 700 days of the official whom they elected to serve as State Attorney. Mr. Warren has time remaining in his Term and should be permitted to complete it.”
In August 2023, DeSantis suspended Worrell, claiming in an executive order that
The plaintiffs note in the lawsuit that before Worrell was suspended last summer, violent crime was down 10% compared to 2022 and shootings were down 30% from the prior year.
In the meantime, Warren is running for the Democratic nomination for state attorney in Hillsborough County, where he faces a primary challenge from attorney Elizabeth Martinez Strauss. Warren has raised $241,325 in his regular campaign account, and another $52,000 in a separate political account, while Martinez Strauss has raised $29,975.
The winner will take on GOP incumbent Suzy Lopez, appointed by DeSantis to replace
she had neglected her duty to faithfully prosecute crime in her jurisdiction.
The plaintiffs are David Caicedo and Rajib Chowdhury, Orlando residents who voted for Worrell in 2020, while Florida Rising is a progressive advocacy group engaged in voter registration, education, engagement. and election protection programming.
Their suit, which lists DeSantis as defendant, alleges that Worrell pushed an ambitious platform promising criminal justice reform when
In May, U.S. District Judge Julie Sneed in the Middle District of Florida dismissed the case, agreeing with claims by DeSantis’ attorneys that the defendants failed to adequately allege that they suffered an injury, and that Florida Rising lacked legal standing to maintain its claims. The judge did say that the plaintiffs could file an amended complaint within 30 days, which they did on June 28.
In June the Florida Supreme Court upheld DeSantis’ suspension of Worrell, concluding on a 6-1 vote that his decision was reasonable based on the allegations he spelled out when he relieved her of her duties.
Worrell has filed to run for reelection in the Ninth Judicial Circuit, where she has raised $234,767 to date. She does not have a Democratic party primary opponent and so will face the winner of the Republican primary, either Seth Hyman or Thomas Feiter, or incumbent Andrew Bain, who is running as a nonparty-affiliated candidate. Bain was appointed by DeSantis last August to replace Worrell.
The Worrell campaign released results of a new poll on Thursday that shows her leading Bain, 40%-28%, with 28% undecided. The survey of 887 general election voters in Orange and Osceola counties was conducted by Change Research between June 10 to June 17.
Florida Phoenix is part of States Newsroom, a nonprofit news network supported by grants and a coalition of donors as a 501c(3) public charity. Florida Phoenix maintains editorial independence. Contact Editor Michael Moline for questions: info@floridaphoenix.com. Follow Florida Phoenix on Facebook and X.
JUDGE NOT: Warren’s attorneys say one judge is holding up justice.
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FOOD NEWS
Better Together: St. Pete + Tampa Sunday, July 21. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. No cover. Bandit Coffee Co., 2662 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @bettertogethertpa on Instagram
RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES
Bridging the gap
Better Together series hosts first St. Pete pop-up.
By Kyla Fields
Any St. Pete resident is used to seeing lines form outside of Bandit Coffee Co. on any given Sunday morning, but this weekend, a Tampa-based event series will keep the party going a bit later than usual.
On Sunday, Better Together—part-food popup part-local vendor market—will take over the daytime cafe for a celebration of local food, music, art and more.
Bandit Coffee Co. (2662 Central Ave.) closes up shop at 3 p.m. like usual on July 21, with Better Together bringing its slew of vendors, DJs, small business owners and prized food menu to the popular coffee shop from 6 p.m.-9 p.m.
There’s no cover or ticket needed to attend this weekend’s Better Together pop-up—an intentional decision that taps into the very ethos of the project organized by longtime friends and Tampa natives Guillermo Quezada and Hassan Lewis. As two friends that share a deep appreciation for their hometown, they wanted to create a hyperlocal event series to showcase Tampa’s creative community and help give up-and-coming artists and small business owners a platform.
“Honestly, we just got tired of hearing people say over and over that ‘Tampa isn’t this” and ‘I can’t be truly successful in Tampa’—this city is going to be what it is, and if you keep trying to compare it to these other places, then of course you’re not find to what you’re looking for,” Lewis tells Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “But when you start to appreciate the city for what it is, and actually take the time to look for the stuff you like and want to do, Tampa can definitely be a great place to live.”
“And then we were like—‘OK…how do we translate all of these feelings into one event?” he continues with a laugh.
Quezada, 28, and 27-year-old Lewis first met at Webb Middle School in Town ‘N Country. But their friendship didn’t really solidify until a few years later, when the two were involved in the culinary program at Leto High School less than two miles away. As teenagers, they quickly discovered their passion for cooking and service—Lewis started washing dishes at the then-newly-opened Rooster & the Till in Seminole Heights and Quezada later joined him as part of his culinary school internship.
While Quezada has spent the last decade traveling back and forth between private chef
and catering gigs in NYC and working at Rooster & the Till in Tampa, Lewis stayed in his hometown and witnessed the city’s intense growth over the years. He gained a degree from USF through scholarships associated with the Boys & Girls Club, and eventually returned to the kitchen at Rooster—plus other Proper House Group concepts—right around the time that COVID-19 upended the restaurant industry.
Quezada moved back to Tampa for good last year, and the semi-long distance childhood friends immediately started collaborating on their hyperlocal event series—something they had started conceptualizing years before.
represented their “love letter to the city of Tampa.” So far, they’ve only hosted a handful of events at venues like Nebraska Mini Mart and L.P.C.X. Cafe., but have always wanted to bring their pop-ups across the bridge to St. Petersburg.
After this weekend’s event in St. Pete, the two friends plan to continue hosting Better Together pop-ups on both sides of the bridge in an effort to connect creative communities across Tampa Bay.
In addition to a variety of baked goods, arts and crafts, candle and flower vendors—plus music from Tampa DJ collective Just Some Friends—Sunday’s event will also feature a small food menu from Quezada and Lewis, who will sling their prized sammies out of Bandit’s kitchen.
Drinks can also be purchased from an outside bar or inside of Bandit’s newly-opened Small Bar.
It wasn’t hard to choose the name “Better Together” for their new project, since the duo shared a love for community and collaboration.
“Back when we first started, we were really just trying to get homies plugged in…we realized that we could all essentially help each other out and produce something that not only benefits the people associated with Better Together, but everybody else, too,” Lewis tells CL. “Everyone that’s involved in these events brings their own crowd and demographic. After we got so much love and feedback after our first event, it really gave us the momentum we needed to keep going.”
The duo chose to host their debut Better Together event on 813 Day last year, which
Sandwiches available at this weekend’s Better Together pop-up include the Dominicaninspired “Don Chimi” burger with a chorizo-beef patty, fried cheese, guava, mayo-ketchup, and chimichurri-dressed cabbage and tomato, and a homage to the classic Cuban sammie called “El Comi,” with thick-cut ham, five spiced Szechuan pernil, salami, Swiss cheese and pickles.
Bandit’s head chef Ben Pomales might even lend his old friends a hand in the kitchen, as he, Quezada and Lewis have known each other since their early days at Rooster & the Till.
Since they have a 10-year relationship with the Seminole Heights restaurant and its owners, Quezada and Lewis regard the Proper House
owners—Chef Ferrell Alvarez, Ty Rodriguez and Chon Nguyen— longtime mentors in both a culinary and business sense.
“We’re lucky in the fact that we’re able to tap into the people that have created these successful entities, and under their mentorship, we’re now starting to produce things and create spaces that we enjoy,” Quezada explains. “I think that sort of generational connection is what makes us true products of Tampa.”
While things are getting back up and running with Better Together, future goals for the two include a partnership with a local nonprofit and a pivot towards fundraisers, as well as organizing a larger-scale block party one day. And while Quezada and Lewis love to sling their beloved sammies at Better Together parties, they eventually plan to showcase other food pop-ups and trucks, too, so they can start leaning into their roles as event coordinators.
“One of the main messages that we try to convey to everyone is that ‘You can do this too,’ Quezada says. “As long as you have some like minded, creative friends and a space that’s willing to host—anyone can really do it. We’re always encouraging other people to tap into whatever they love to do.”
“And for all of us to be able to come together and learn from each other—I think that’s a really beautiful thing,” Lewis adds.
Despite both working day jobs outside of their Better Together —with Quezada back at Rooster & the Till and Lewis doing IT work with Nguyen’s food safety company FusionPrep—the friends are dedicated to their passion project and hope to one day be able to work on event coordination and other creative projects in a more full-time capacity.
While the duo have always bonded over their shared love for cooking, the creation of their food pop-up under the Better Together umbrella has actually sparked a new-found appreciation for being in the kitchen, slinging their own creations and feeding their friends.
“I think a lot of us that cook professionally have these two different sides of us where we love to be in the kitchen, but then we also need to get paid,” Quezada explains. “And where the complexity comes into that, is sometimes what we get paid to do is not necessarily what we’re passionate about.”
“I never would have imagined that me stepping away from the kitchen would be what helped re-blossom my love for food,” Lewis adds.
Follow @bettertogethertpa on Instagram for the latest updates on Quezada and Lewis’ pop-up and their debut St. Petersburg event.
FRIENDS FOREVER: Hassan Lewis (L) and Guillermo Quezada.
Stir it up
Ten places to celebrate National Daiquiri Day on July 19.
By Jourdan Ducat
The origin of the daiquiri is attributed to an American named Jennings Cox, who was working as an engineer in the Cuban town of Daiquiri towards the end of the SpanishAmerican War. The story goes that Cox chose to mix local light rum with the easily accessible additives of lime and sugar, likely in a glass of ice to combat the warm, tropical climate.
Famed author Ernest Hemingway had a love for daiquiris, which is said to have been the seasoned drinker’s favorite cocktail. He was a purist when it came to preparation, once stating,”It shouldn’t taste of rum, it shouldn’t taste of lime and it shouldn’t taste of sugar. It should just taste of daiquiri.” In the years that have followed, the daiquiri has seen many updates in both ingredients and preparation methods.
While there are many cocktail bars in the Tampa Bay area that offer an elevated or traditional daiquiri cocktail, there are also multiple beach bars that serve up frozen versions of the beverage to help beat the summer heat. Regardless of how the daiquiri is prepared, it’s sure to refresh and delight during these brutal Florida summers.
The area’s ever-expanding cocktail scene and personal tastes of both locals and tourists alike makes it nearly impossible to definitively name the best daiquiri spots, so use this list as a starting point and discover which daiquiri is your personal favorite. Cheers!
Columbia Restaurant While the oldest restaurant in Florida certainly gets plenty of accolades for its traditional Spanish-Cuban cuisine and housemade sangrias, the specialty cocktail menu also features a true homage to the most famous daiquiri drinker. The Hemingway Daiquiri is a blend of blonde rum, grapefruit juice, Luxardo Maraschino Liqueur and fresh lime juice. 2117 E 7th Ave., Ybor City. columbiarestaurant.com
Copper Shaker For those looking for a more refined version of the daiquiri, Copper Shaker’s locations in both Ybor City (1502 E 7th Ave.) and Downtown St. Pete (169 1st Ave. N) definitely fit the bill. Both are locally-owned-andoperated and take pride in exceptional service, fresh and top notch cocktails and gourmet eats. coppershaker.com
Daiquiri Shak This raw bar and grill in Madeira Beach is very popular among tourists, but locals can still enjoy the huge selection of specialty daiquiris and extensive food menu, especially during off season. Daiquiri Shak even offers a daily daiquiri special and daiquiri flights, ensuring there’s always something new to try. 14995 Gulf Blvd., Madeira Beach. daiquirishak.com
Don the Beachcomber This upscale tiki bar and restaurant, located on the bottom floor of the Cambria Hotel in Madeira Beach, brings a welcome nod to the nostalgic tiki bars that were popular in the mid-20th century. The Hemingway Daiquiri is among the impressive list of both traditional and nuanced tiki drinks to be enjoyed in the immersive space. 15015 Madeira Wy #100, Madeira Beach. donbeachcomber.com
Hotel Bar The bartenders here have an uncanny knack for creating inventive cocktails that go beyond your standard riffs on classics, and guests are welcome to order off the menu and let the expertise of the staff guide the experience. While this would be a great place to enjoy a classic daiquiri, there’s likely a fun twist the mixologists have up their sleeves, just ask. 200 N Tampa St., Tampa. .hotelbartampa.com
Hurricane This iconic and historic restaurant has been a favorite for Pass-A-Grille tourists for decades, but locals escape here when the season dies down or bring out of town guests to sample local fare. The rooftop bar offers nearly unparalleled views of this part of the coast, as well as frozen strawberry and mango daiquiris and an abbreviated food menu. 809 Gulf Way, St Pete Beach. thehurricane.com
Mandarin Hide and Mandarin Heights These craft cocktail bars are both locally-ownedand-operated and offer unique experiences based on location, with a commitment to innovative mixology being a common thread. Bartenders at either concept are trained in both nuanced concoctions and strictly classic cocktails, like this month’s honorary daiquiri. Mandarin Hide: 231 Central Ave N, St. Petersburg; mandarinhide.com/ Mandarin Heights: 5901 N Florida Ave., Tampa; mandarinheights.com
delicious cocktails. The frozen daiquiri here comes in mango or strawberry and is the perfect companion to sticking your toes in the sand. 5415 W Tyson Ave. salt-shack.com
Tiki Docks If you’re looking for a beachy vibe without the crowds on Gulf Boulevard, Tiki Dock’s locations in both Riverview (10704 Palmetto St.) and St. Pete near the Sunshine Skyway (3769 50th Ave. S) have got you covered. Sip on frozen daiquiris in either banana or strawberry flavoring, nibble on some tropically inspired bites and take in the waterfront views. tikidocks.com
DINING GUIDE
Salt Shack on the Bay This South of Gandy hotspot was on the New York Times’ 2023 list of 50 best restaurants and boasts waterfront views, mouthwatering seafood and of course,
Undertow Beach Bar This St. Pete Beach staple is a great place to have a frozen daiquiri on a hot summer day. The openair, beachfront bar serves their frozen drinks in styrofoam cups, keeping your casual cocktail so cold that you may get a brain freeze. Parking here is very limited; we recommend parking at a public beach lot, then utilizing rideshare or St. Pete Beach’s Freebee app for a free ride to numerous beach hotspots. 3850 Gulf Blvd., St. Pete Beach. @undertowbeachbar on Facebook
THE OLD MAN AND THE DAIQUIRI: Ernest Hemingway had big daiq energy.
MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE
Show them the money
Florida Board of Education set to ratify NIL for high schoolers on July 24.
By Chuck Merlis
Karter Knox spent a lot of 2023 running up and down the court for Tampa Catholic High School, slamming home highlight reel dunks while averaging almost 20 points and 10 assists a game. Knox, a six-foot five-inch, 230-pound guard, was building on a family legacy at TC, started by his older brother Kevin Knox, Jr., who launched his own NBA career at TC just seven years prior. Karter, a McDonald’s All-American, would soon receive lucrative NIL endorsement opportunities from apparel giants Fanatics and Adidas for his stand-out play at TC.
The only problem was that Florida law did not allow high school athletes to engage in NIL agreements, forcing Karter into a lifealtering decision: to stay at Tampa Catholic and reject a life-changing amount of money or move to a state that did.
Dave Meluni, an Associate Teaching Professor at Syracuse University in the Falk College of Sport, believes the new bylaws will turn Florida into a recruitment powerhouse.“I actually think Florida has an advantage that you may see kids from other states come in because there may be better opportunities for NIL in the state of Florida,” Meluni told CL.
Meluni also points to Florida high schools that have top-tier athletics, like IMG Academy, along with flourishing media markets, as reasons Florida will attract transfer athletes.
“You could be a potential student-athlete in Alabama and not have an opportunity,” Meluni said. “But look at the markets of Orlando, Tampa, St. Pete, Miami, Jacksonville.”
SPORTS
Knox chose the latter, accepting the agreements and transferring to Overtime Elite in Atlanta, Georgia, to play his senior year.
Unlike Knox, Florida’s high school athletes will no longer have to make that choice. On June 6, the Sunshine State became the 36th in the country to allow high school athletes to profit from their name, image, and likeness (NIL). The once-controversial idea was unanimously passed by the Florida High School Athletic Association (FHSAA) and is expected to be ratified when the Florida Board of Education meets on July 24.
“If they’re not competing with NIL, they (Florida) will lose opportunities. It was a forced hand,” Jake O’Donnell, the founder and CEO of EAMG Sports agency, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “Unless Florida wants to lose its athletes to move across the country to Texas, Ohio, or California, they must be willing to compete.”
O’Donnell believes that the impact of the new bylaws will go deeper than offering studentathletes a quick payday. “This is an opportunity for high school athletes to build a personal brand and monetize it without jeopardizing their eligibility,” he added.
High school coaches, athletes, and parents across Florida have agreed with O’Donnell, with some industry experts going even further, saying Florida now holds unique recruiting advantages over other states.
Don Dziagwa, the Head Basketball Coach and athletic director for Tampa Catholic High School argued that this change was overdue.
“I think the NIL thing is a year too late for me. I would have loved to have the player (Knox) stay with us and play his senior year here,” Dziagwa said.
Knox’s father, Kevin Knox Sr., a retired NFL wide receiver, told CL the NIL opportunities from Fanatics and Adidas were too good for his son to pass up and did serve as a driving force in his son’s decision to transfer to Overtime in Georgia.
“We kind of looked at it as a great opportunity for Karter, the start of his career, and financially, to give him an opportunity to get ahead in life,” Knox Sr. said. “That opportunity was not offered to us in Florida.”
Knox’s case is not unique. Had it not approved NIL, Florida risked forcing high school athletes to reject lucrative opportunities or enter the transfer portal and continue their careers out of state. The high school transfer portal is a system that allows student-athletes to transfer schools freely without having to sit out a season or lose a year of eligibility.
The bylaws do bring risks. Meluni said NIL agreements have often welcomed boosters to engage in pay-for-play. He warns that the promise of NIL—to allow high school athletes to begin building a personal brand without the risk of punishment—is often lost in its practical translation.
“I do not like the word NIL because it’s turned into pay-for-play, right?” Meluni told CL. “I love the idea of NIL, but NIL is the opportunity to monetize your name, image, and likeness, which by the NCAA defined as your right of publicity, and I define it as your athlete marketability.”
Meluni warns that these ideals are at risk if boosters seek to engage in quid-pro-quo agreements with student-athletes and their families, clouding the NIL space.
“If you’ve ever seen the show or the movie ‘Friday Night Lights’ in Texas, where the Buddy Garrity’s of the world owns a car dealership, and he slides somebody an envelope for cash to come play at that school,” Meluni told CL. “The reality of this is that it’s athlete marketability and right of publicity, where that student-athlete can use their name their, their likeness. or their likeness.”
The FHSAA did include a series of provisions meant to protect student-athletes, including rules against engaging with collectives and boosters, as well as banning the promotion of drug use, firearms, or narcotics. Studentathletes are also prohibited from using any school-copyrighted items in NIL promotions. The FHSAA and the Florida Board of Education declined CL’s request for comment.
Most people involved in Florida high school sports, like Dziagwa, support the new bylaws. “I think those are fantastic situations for kids to have people wanting to pay them money because of their name, image, and likeness. I see no problem with that,” he said.
Knox Sr. agrees.
“How young is too young?,” he told CL. “We live in America, the Land of the Free. Right?”
OPPORTUNITY KNOX: Karter Knox had to leave Florida to take advantage of NIL offers.
Monday - Friday, 4pm-7pm Saturday 3pm-6pm
Hey you
Tampa and Orlando fringe festivals have a proposal for Gov. DeSantis.
By Scott Galbraith, Trish Parry, and Tempestt Halstead
Dear Governor DeSantis, like you, we the Orlando and Tampa Fringe festivals care greatly about the citizens of Florida. Given that common ground, we hope that you read this letter with an open mind and fully consider the proposal below.
We assume you did not veto the funding of science centers, aquariums, operas, zoos, children’s programs, and other arts and culture programming lightly, and that much of what has transpired since the June 27th press conference is a misunderstanding. One of the goals of this letter, then, is to clear up some of those misunderstandings.
and self-curate their experiences. No one is ever forced or coerced to see a show against their will.
More to that point, Florida’s arts & culture sector generates around $176M in State Tax Revenue; a 550% return on a $26M investment. It could be said, then, that the vetoed $32M is but a small reinvestment into the organizations that help generate significant earned income for the state. (Source: Americans for the Arts’ Arts & Economic Prosperity (AEP6, 2022.))
approved for us in order to facilitate the restoration of the remaining legislature-approved arts & culture funding, provided you champion a successful reversal or override of the veto.
OP-ED
First, it is important to note that Fringe Festivals are performing arts festivals. We absolutely are not sexual festivals. The genres of performance range widely, but typically include storytelling, theatre, improvisation, circus, dance, comedy, etc. We diligently watch for age appropriateness and ensure that a show with adult content is age-rated accordingly. Through content indicators such as age, we empower our guests to make informed decisions
Equally important is the distinction between uncensored and unlawful. Our festivals are uncensored, not unlawful. While a fraction of the work at our festivals *could be adults only, we and the artists operate within the law, including decency requirements. We say *could because Fringe artists are selected through a lotterytype drawing, thus it is literally the luck of the draw as to whether adult content is a part of these festivals. We as festival producers do not put our thumb on the selection scale though we proudly provide a platform for any and all artists to share their work.
Second, it is important that Florida taxpayers understand that their tax dollars do not pay Fringe artists. Artists earn their income directly through ticket sales. In fact, 100% of an artist’s advertised ticket price is paid to that artist. Instead, taxpayer dollars help with office expenses, ADA accommodations, and staff salaries (i.e., tax paying Floridians).
Defunding Florida’s entire arts & culture sector because of Fringe Festivals, which account for just .002% of the vetoed $32M, is akin to canceling Florida’s entire sports industry based on an objection with one player on one team.
Finally, it is important to acknowledge that the many worthy organizations that have been negatively impacted by the veto are critical parts of the social, educational, and financial landscape of their respective communities. Their loss or diminishment will have serious ripple effects. As programs get reduced or cut, so too may salaries, which impact grocers, restaurants, auto shops, tithing and other charitable giving.
With all this in mind, we implore you, sir, to consider the following proposal:
Governor DeSantis, we the undersigned Fringe Festivals, which remain committed to providing inclusive spaces for artists and audiences, agree on a non-precedent setting basis, to forego the 2025 state grants that were
In addition, we will welcome and host you, your family, and some of your aides when you attend our festivals in 2025, and we ask that you reciprocate by welcoming and hosting us in October or November 2024 so that we can build bridges of understanding and deepen your familiarity with the benefits of arts & culture investments, thus empowering you to be an impassioned advocate.
In that the fiscal year of many arts & culture organizations began July 1, time is of the essence. We look forward to working with you for the betterment of all Florida citizens.
Respectfully,
Scott Galbraith Interim Executive Director,
The Orlando Fringe Trish Parry Festival Producer, Tampa Fringe Tempestt Halstead Festival Producer, The Orlando Fringe
Readers and community members are always welcome to send letters to the editors. Please let us know if we may consider your submission for publication.
“Equally important is the distinction between uncensored and unlawful.”
STAGE IS SET: Fringe is happy to host the governor, his family and aides.
By Ray Roa
THU 18
C April Showers w/Liam Bauman April Showers (aka Biishop The Artist) is a bright young star in Tampa’s songwriter scene and recently spent some time in California’s Topanga Canyon tracking the latest evolution of a sound that somehow blends the sensuality of Frank Ocean with the bombastic energy of jazz and jam of artists that might call the GroundUp Music collective home. Biishop is joined by an expat of the modern Bay area folk movement, Liam Bauman, for this return to the ridiculously intimate and cozy climes of Seminole Heights’ Far Forest. (The Far Forest, Tampa)
The Moss w/Dogpark/Rohna On “The Place That Makes Me Happy,” Moss frontman Tyke James has all the swag of Elvis with a lot more shag on his head. The band’s brand new single, “Alive” is FFO of bands like The Strokes, but wears lyrics that anyone surviving the pandemic can relate to. “I wrote ‘Alive’ at a time in my life where the beliefs that I had for so long started to seem very fickle and incomplete. ‘Alive’ is the ambassador of a new way of thinking for me that involves trusting and taking care of myself, and letting go once in a while,” James wrote in a press release. Fresh-faced New York City rock band Dogpark opens along with local heavy-hitter Rohna. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
C Steel Pulse w/Jesse Royal Drummer Conrad Kelly only played with Steel Pulse for a decade in the mid-’90s and 2000s, but was instrumental on a trio of albums that earned the band Grammy nominations. Kelly died last month at the age of 65, and it would be no surprise if the legendary U.K. reggae band dedicated large parts of its set to their former bandmate. One of the genre’s bright young stars, Jesse Royal, opens the show. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)
FRI 19
Celebration of Life: Zak White Through his work with the Homeless Empowerment Project, Clearwater’s Zak White helped put a roof over countless peoples’ heads. This weekend, the community at large will gather to remember not just those efforts, but his role in the Bay area creative community, too. The late 44-year-old played in bands starting at the age of 13, including his run with Icon, a punk outfit that opened for nationals at Jannus Live and even had a Dunedin Brewery beer named after it (Icon Red). The brewery hosts this memorial where there’ll be an open mic for anyone to not just say words, but play music in tribute of White, who leaves behind two young sons. Joel Cook, his friend, told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that White was going to shows until
he passed, adding that there is still a library of music in White’s home studio. “He was punk-rock through and through,” Cook added. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin)
Heat Fest Part 3: Moonshow w/Deaf Company/The Wayfarin’ Leo Roger/Frog Shaman/House of I/Amateur Taxidermy/ Expression/Beach Terror/King Bee/ Jaron Jammer/more St. Petersburg songwriter Wyatt Norton’s been doing the lord’s work for Cage Brewing’s local live music calendar, and this weekend he stages his 10th festival at the venue. Heat Fest commemorates, well, how fucking hot it is outside, and gives scene supporters a place to see more than a dozen bands, over two days, with no cover charge. Highlights on the bill include folk singer The Wayfarin’ Leo Roger, indierock outfit House of I, and Norton’s own rock outfit Beach Terror. (Cage Brewing, St. Petersburg)
C New Kids On The Block w/Paula Abdul/DJ Jazzy Jeff The boy band, which pioneered the trend of bringing current acts to the Super Bowl halftime show—right here in Tampa, no less—plans to recreate its storied, sold-out 1990 Magic Summer tour, just in smaller settings. Laker Girl legend Paula Abdul—whose first tour in two-and-a-half decades rolled into Tampa with NKOTB the last time it was here seven years ago—the hasn’t been on tour since before COVID-19 was a thing, and has periodically made guest appearances on the likes of “American Idol,” “America’s Got Talent,” and *shudders* “The Masked Dancer.” (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)—Josh Bradley
C Oden & Fatzo w/Chesster/Cut & Sew Dance music fans in Tampa Bay have it good. The area has clubs dedicated to seemingly every strain of the genre from underground bass music to more mainstream untz, darkwave, and everything in between. What’s more is that clubs that host rock and jazz on most nights also host touring acts like Parisian trio Oden & Fatzo which colors its minimalistic brand of house and techno with outside influences (funk, psychedelia) and then dresses it up in astronaut wardrobe. The outfit headlines St. Pete’s swankiest room for live music, and you can see a full listing of EDM shows at cltampa.com/music. (Floridian Social, St. Petersburg)
C Our House: The Music of CSNY feat. James Raymond w/Astrid Young/Steve Postell/Jeff Pevar/Michelle Willis/Berry Duane Oakley/Henry Diltz/Stephen Barncard If you’ve ever been in the used section of a record store, you’re probably at least a little bit familiar with the work of Henry Diltz. The 85-year-old photographer was in charge of grabbing shots of Woodstock, and has taken pics that have landed on album covers for the likes of The Doors, The Monkees, and most notably, Crosby, Stills and Nash. For this a gig featuring CSNY backing band alum playing the supergroup’s hits (Neil Young’s sister Astrid and the late David Crosby’s son/
THU JULY 18–THU JULY 25
bandmate James Raymond are in the lineup), Diltz will tell “tall tales” about his time hanging out with future rock legends, in and out of Laurel Canyon. (Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater)—JB
SAT 20
The Aquabats! w/The Aggrolites/Left Alone The California-based superhero rock outfit (which once featured Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker) blends ska, new wave, alternative rock, and a little bit of punk into its sound, and in past years, has even made a point to fight off villains onstage midshow. No telling if the M.C. Bat Commander and friends will do that in between tracks from their new album Finally!, but if not, episodes of the short-lived “Aquabats! Super Show!” are available for streaming on Tubi, Pluto TV, and—in terms of its revival—YouTube. (The Ritz, Ybor City)—JB
Dunedin Brewery’s 28th Anniversary Celebration: Clover’s Revenge Celtic music trio Clover’s Revenge promises a self-described “dangerous intersection of acoustic pub music & Celtic punk rock.” If that’s not your thing, a silent disco hosted by 2-Cheese & DunDun727 will also be on site, and if you’re rocking a kilt (as you already should be in this weather), you get $1 off beer all day. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin)—JB
Funky D memorial scholarship jam Darryl Quesenberry was an icon in the Bay area jam scene. Better known as Funky D (or Animal), fans and friend rallied around him numerous times as he battled health issues, including the colon cancer which eventually took his life in 2020. Funky D was 54, and his memory is the driver behind a scholarship awarded by the Blueberry Patch to a promising young musician. Proceeds from this matinee where
the 2024 recipient will be announced go back into the scholarship fund that bears Funky D’s name. (Blueberry Patch, Gulfport)
C Speak Easy Tampa Bay might have its first perfect pop album of the year. From the weepy strings and sexy synth on title track “To Make A Man,” to the melody and harmony on “Winds Softly Change,” and the bare bones balladry of “Always With Me,” Speak Easy has assembled 37 minutes of pure yachty bliss. The quartet—Eric Yoder, Brendon Porter, Jack Clements, and Karekin Sahagian—wraps the 11-track album up in its signature polish, and while it’ll be a treat to catch a buzz and see the heartthrobs in this brewery setting, we’re hoping for a full on album release show before Porter skips town. (3 Daughters Brewing, St. Petersburg)
Styx w/Foreigner/John Waite In his new “Best Gig I Ever Saw” column (H/T, L.A. Weekly), CL contributor Josh Bradley gets Jeff Pilson of Foreigner to talk about seeing Emerson, Lake, and Palmer in the summer of 1972 ignited his passion for playing music. “The power and musicality matched by an amazingly exciting performance was such a game changer,” he said. Read the full column at cltampa.com/music ahead of Foreigner’s gig opening for Styx at the old Gary amphitheater. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)
SUN 21
idobi Summer School: Scene Queen w/ The Home Team/Magnolia Park/Stand Atlantic/Honey Revenge/Letdown Punk scene elders Eric Tobin (Hopeless Records), Mike Kaminsky (KMGMT) and Kevin Lyman (Warped Tour founder) wanted to see the
C CL Recommends
Oden & Fatzo
music industry better develop and support future headlining acts, so they launched this “Summer School” series to showcase upand-coming pop-punk bands in beloved local venues. A portion of every ticket sold will go to Save The Music, a nonprofit that addresses systemic inequities in music education by investing in culturally rich communities across the U.S. (Jannus Live, St. Petersburg)
C Ol’ Dirty Sundays: DJ Casper w/DJ Fader/Indy/DJ Flaco After 13 years in Ybor City, Ol’ Dirty Sundays recently announced the end of its weekly presence at Crowbar starting after Labor Day weekend. While co-founder DJ Casper told CL there will certainly be one-offs, he’s started to roll out lineups for the final shows where he wants to showcase the real ones who helped make the party as legendary as it is. This one features the 813’s very own DJ Flaco, who runs
VFW Post 39 HC Matinee Benefit: Highest Crown w/Last Bias/Headless State The Bay area needs more venues, especially ones where new band can cut their teeth and have shows without breaking the bank. VFW Post 39 has been a bastion for the local rock scene, and as the block around it changes, the hall needs some dough to update and install its fire suppression system. To help, hardcore band Highest Crown, post-hardcore outfit Last Bias and Palm Harbor punk band Low Cards play this benefit where Headless State (which played its first show this month) opens. (VFW Post 39, St. Petersburg)
MON 22
Asia w/Focus/Martin Turner/Curved Air/Roger Dean This isn’t your dad’s Asia. Original frontman John Wetton died in 2017, Carl Palmer is busy on the road presenting “The Return of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer,” and Steve Howe (who technically retired from Asia last decade) is too busy prepping for Yes’ co-headlining tour with Deep Purple. That leaves keyboardist Geoff Downes (who also plays in Yes) conducting a brand-new lineup of musicians. Along with Dutch prog rock outfits Focus and Curved Air, Wishbone Ash’s Martin Turner, and album cover painterslash-emcee Roger Dean, Downes will be joined onstage by Irish guitarist John Mitchell, former Planet X drummer Virgil Donati, and wunderkind bassist Harry Whitley, who seemingly already has the approval of his new peers in the genre. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)—JB
TUE 23
The Aristocrats There are some shows that just melt the faces off people. This is one of them. The Aristocrats include bassist Bryan Beller, guitarist Guthrie Govan and drummer Marco Minnemann who’ve been in the lineup for other monsters of prog-rock like Steven Wilson, Asia, Joe Satriani, and Steve Hackett. The trio is no stranger to the Bay area and arrives this time supporting Duck , a concept album about an Antarctic island Duck that adventures through New York City. The record is just over an hour of wet-dream worthy riffs, but the music really comes alive onstage. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
to be is home and when you’re off the road, all you want to be is back on the road,” he recently told roots music journal No Depression. Tampa Bay sees the Arizona songwriter arriving in support of a brand new album, Fighting For, a month-old effort buoyed by Horner’s crystalline, melancholy vocal and acoustic arrangements that would fit right into the coffee shop. Bay area expat Leon Majcen is also on the road supporting his self-titled full-length debut album, which is a placemaking, expertlypicked and countrified ode to Florida made just for fans of luminaries like John Prine, Robert Earl Keen and Guy Clark. (Floridian Social, St. Petersburg)
WED 24
C Missy Elliott w/Ciara & Busta Rhymes/Timbaland Elliott can certainly still put her thang down, flip it and reverse it, and so it makes sense she’s headed out on her first-ever headlining tour this summer. Known for massive hits like “Work It” and “Get Ur Freak On, Elliott’s new tour will include support from longtime collaborators Busta Rhymes, Ciara and special guest Timbaland. “This is an incredible time in my life as I am experiencing so many milestone ‘firsts.’ Being the FIRST female Hip Hop artist to be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame and now going out on my FIRST headline tour,” said Elliott in a statement. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)—Colin Wolf
THU 25
the ones and twos for JayLifted and also spins Latin-flavored club hits for the masses. (Crowbar, Ybor City)
C Skinny McGee and the Handshakes (record release) w/The Urbane Cowboys
Shawn Gravitt and Chris Bell’s new album Chattanooga Trigger Man doesn’t hit streaming and digital platforms until July 27, but the boys collectively known as Skinny McGee have been playing gigs in Winter Haven to promote it, with vinyl-only copies available for sale. “I’ll Ramble On,” which was released last year, has the instrumentation and simplicity of an early Johnny Cash tune, and “Sugarcane Blues” specifically namedrops Tallahassee and Okeechobee, while retaining an outlaw country aesthetic. Local “ass kickin’, beer drinkin’, boot stompin’ rock n’ roll” outfit The Urbane Cowboys open. (Ella’s Americana Folk Art Cafe, Tampa)—JB
C Diiv w/Horse Jumper of Love The last time Tampa Bay saw Diiv (pronounced “dive” and stylized in all-caps) was the night before it opened for Depeche Mode in Orlando. Nine months later, the Brooklyn-based indie-rock quartet—fronted by ex-Beach Fossils drummer Zachary Cole Smith—will probably be plagued with far less anxiety on Tuesday night, when it plays the majority of its trippy new album Frog In Boiling Water (don’t tell Les Claypool) and more Horse Jumper of Love, a New England trio in a similar genre realm that’s also on the heels of a new album, opens. (Orpheum, Tampa)—JB
C Evan Honer w/Leon Majcen Evan Horner battles with life on the road, which can be challenging and rewarding in the same breath. “It is a weird thing to describe but when you’re on the road, all you want
C Donny Osmond The shelf life of a teen pop idol is extremely slim. When thinking of all the pin-up poster boys who’ve graced the bedroom walls and the turntables of teenagers over the last several decades in pop culture, only a handful can truly claim to have transcended the typical staying power an actor or pop singer marketed as a teen heartthrob is normally allowed to have. At the head of that class is Donny Osmond. Growing up in the spotlight, as part of a singing group with his brood of older brothers, Osmond has been in the showbiz game since the tender age of five. As the 1970s were kicking off, Donny and his brothers were riding high on pop music charts, thanks to the hit singles and the concert tours they’d embarked on. Read our full Q&A at cltampa.com/music. (Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa)—Gabe Echazabal
C Third Eye Blind w/Yellowcard
Stephan Jenkins and friends are no strangers to Tampa Bay. In 2018, the San Francisco-based band played a free opening day concert at Tampa’s Julian B. Lane Waterfront Park, and last year, it ran through a hit-filled main stage set at the second— and final—Tampa installment of Innings Fest. And while there is supposedly new music coming, Jenkins says that it isn’t quite ready to see the light of day. (MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa)—JB
See an extended version of this listing via cltampa.com/music.
Evan Honer
Church and Halloween aren’t the most common bedfellows, but it’ll be hard to not get possessed by the holy ghost when Maverick City Music lands in the Bay area.
Just watch video from Georgia-born worship collective’s 2022 visit to the Everglades Correctional Institution in Miami. The trip with gospel giant Kirk Franklin was the largest prison event in U.S. history and resulted in an absolute bop, “Melodies from Heaven.” And while the group’s visit to the jail was part of a project that sought to “expand the idea of what the Kingdom of God looks like,” Maverick City Music has not been immune to criticism from both sides of its fanbase which has chastised the group for working with artists who use cuss words (cry more), and its parting of ways with Dove Award-winning former member Dante Bowe after he accidentally exposed himself on social media.
It’ll also be interesting to see if founder Chandler Moore—who is on hiatus from the group—will be back in the lineup come the fall.
Sexyy Red w/Hunxho/Loe Shimmy/ BlakeIAna Wednesday, Sept. 25. 7 p.m. $65.75 & up. Amalie Arena, Tampa
Tickets to see Maverick City Music play Tampa’s Amalie Arena in Tampa on Thursday, Oct. 31 are still available and start at $25.75. See Josh Bradley’s roundup of new concerts coming to Tampa Bay below.—Ray Roa
The Blues Is Alright: Tucka w/King George/Pokey Bear/J-Wonn/Lenny Williams/Theodis Ealey/Nellie ‘Tiger’ Travis Friday, Sept. 27. 8 p.m. $55 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa
Black Violin Saturday, Nov. 23. 8 p.m. $46 & up. Morsani Hall at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa
Keller Williams Friday, Dec. 6. 8:30 p.m. $35. Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa
Feathered friends (with benefits)
By Dan Savage
Dear Readers: I’m away this week. Please enjoy this infamous column from the first decade of Savage Love.—Dan
As an avid reader of your column, I thought of you and only you for help with this problem. My grandmother, 78 and widowed, is a kind, generous woman who has seen her share of difficult times. She is a bit offbeat, but extremely conservative and religious. After my grandfather passed on, she purchased a lively little parakeet and named him Pretty Baby.
Pretty Baby has provided wonderful companionship and entertainment for my grandmother, even learning to speak to her. Pretty is an amazing mimic, repeating phrases she has taught him: “I love you,” “lock the door,” “give me kisses,” etc. The problem is the kissing... or what I recently witnessed the kissing leads to. One evening Pretty began to squawk “give me kisses, give me kisses” and my grandmother walked over to the cage and slipped one finger between the bars. Pretty Baby proceeded to “kiss” her fingernail and flutter about. Then my grandmother—my grandmother—purred, “Give Grandma lovin’, Pretty Baby, give Grandma lovin’.” She then turned to me and said, “Pretty Baby wants to give me lovin’ and he won’t quiet down until he does.”
as sick a fuck as your grandmother is—but I was thrilled to receive your letter. Thrilled!
I was also suspicious. Could PWW be making this up? Did this grandma exist? Can you actually beat off a parakeet? Before I sought out some guest experts to address the whole beating-off-a-parakeet issue, I wrote back to PWW personally and demanded more background info. After speaking with PWW I can confidently assure my other readers that, yes, PWW exists, her grandmother exists, her grandmother owns a parakeet, and her grandmother is one sick fuck.
“Birds often begin to exhibit mating behavior when they reach sexual maturity,” said Pierre Brooks, who owns 33rd & Bird, a bird shop in New York City, and agreed to discuss this delicate issue with me.
SAVAGE LOVE
“For a singly kept pet bird this can include attempts at mating with one of their toys or perches.” How about the little old lady that owns ‘em? “We have not come across an owner who becomes the bird’s surrogate mate, but it is not unrealistic.”
But is it healthy? Is it good for the bird? Is it good for Grandma?
“It’s good that the bird is male, though,” Jesse B. added. “You can induce the production of eggs in a female by stimulating her, and if they start releasing eggs, there’s always the risk of the bird becoming egg-bound, basically an egg stuck in the bird’s stomach, and that can kill the bird. But this is a male parakeet, so it’s not a problem.”
documented time and time again.—Lesbian Duck Mom
Thanks for sharing, LDM, and for sending in a note that works so well with the “feathered friend” theme of this week’s column—it’s also nice that it’s a story about birds mating with birds, as God intended.
Pretty Baby proceeded to screech more and more loudly, as he humped my grandmother’s finger. She also moved it back and forth for him. I was stunned and unsure of what was happening, so I sat quietly in my chair looking in the opposite direction, hoping I wasn’t really witnessing what I thought I was. My grandmother cleared things up quickly, saying, “He’ll calm down after he climaxes,” smiling away and continuing to repeat, “Give me your lovin’, Pretty Baby, give me your lovin’.” When Pretty Baby was finished, she looked back at me and said, “I better wash my hands!” I left minutes later, unable to process what had just happened. Grandmother, however, never flinched, acting like it was an everyday occurrence.
I’m still horrified. Should I be concerned, Dan? About my grandmother? About Pretty Baby? Help!—Polly Wanna Wanker
I’ve been doing this job for a while now, PWW, and rarely do I get a question about a subject, sex act, position, kink, or bodily fluid that I’ve never had the pleasure of addressing before. But your question, PWW, is a first. And a treat! A grandmother whacking off her pet parakeet? That’s the kind of question I live for! I almost hate to admit it—I don’t want you to think I’m
“If this were one of our customers, we would advise the customer that the bird may be lonely and suggest introducing another parakeet for companionship,” said Brooks. “However, this may not solve the problem. Birds are similar to humans: They are selective about their mates. Simply putting a male and female bird together does not guarantee that they will like one another, let alone breed.”
And as much as you may want to tell your grandmother she’s a sick fuck and she’s got to stop beating off the bird, that might not be in the bird’s best interest. “A bird [can] feel lonely and sexually frustrated if its mate is taken away,” Brooks added.
And like it or not, PWW, your grandmother is Pretty Baby’s mate now.
Seeking a second opinion, I spoke with Jesse B., who owns Ford’s Feathers in Torrance, California.
“When it comes to a bird, they can be stimulated by any object,” said Jesse B. “A toy, a perch. I haven’t heard of anyone masturbating their parakeet before.”
Did he think it was wrong?
“If she’s doing it because the bird wants it and she wants to make the bird feel better, that might be OK,” said Jesse B. “But if she’s doing it for self-pleasure or because it excites her? Then she’s got a problem.”
When it came to any long-term harm, Jesse B. agreed with Pierre that it’s not going to hurt the bird—or your grandmother.
Not a problem unless, of course, you’re the poor grandchild who has to watch her widowed, generous, kind, conservative, religious grandmother finger-bang her parakeet. That can’t be easy. But while I sympathize with your plight, PWW, I would urge you not to confront your dear ol’ gran. Even if she is “doing it for self-pleasure,” as Jesse B. and everyone else reading this hopes she’s not, your grandmother probably isn’t long for this world. Besides visits from her grandchildren, she probably doesn’t have much in her life to distract her from impending death… so let’s not take this small pleasure, however sick and twisted it might be, away from this sad old lady. Your grandma isn’t hurting the bird and she’s not hurting herself, and it’s not like she’s going to turn into a bird molester and start jumping on pigeons in parks. Why say anything that might make the old broad feel self-conscious about what she’s been up to with Pretty Baby?
So, keep your mouth shut, PWW, and just pray grandma doesn’t leave you that bird in her will.
I just had to write in after reading about the two gay penguins who adopted a chick. Loved that story! I had two pet female ducks who fell in love and used to try to mate all the time. They’d perform all the ritual courtship head-bobbing, and then one would lower herself to the ground and the other would climb on top. The behavior was exactly the same as the mating behavior between male and female ducks. So anyone who says animals don’t engage in homosexuality is just plain ignorant. It’s been
Oh, and speaking of those gay penguins: I made a mistake in the column where I mentioned Roy and Silo, the gay penguins who were given an egg to hatch and raised the chick together. The couple doesn’t reside in the Bronx Zoo, as I wrote in Savage Love a few weeks back. What self-respecting gay penguins would live in the Bronx, for crying out loud? Roy and Silo and their adopted child, Tango, all live at the Central Park Zoo, in Manhattan, with the rest of New York City’s trendy gay parents.
Dear Readers: I got an update from the Polly Wanna Wanker a few years ago. Still an avid reader of Savage Love, she wanted to let me know she took my advice: she never said anything to her grandmother, who passed away a few years after her letter appeared in my column. I don’t recall what became of the bird. (If you’re still out there reading, PWW, please jump into the comments thread!) Roy and Silo, the gay Central Park Zoo penguins, have also passed away, but the children’s picture book written about them—”And Tango Makes Three”—is one of the most frequently banned books in the United States because of course it is. Back next week!—Dan
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage. love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
WHAT MAKES LOCAL CULTURE CREATIVE MARKETING DIFFERENT?
NOTE: Thanks to author Thomas Harris, we all know that a kid named Hannibal grew up to be a cannibal. As snappy nicknames go, what a lucky break THAT was, huh? So I started thinking that writers have missed a good gimmick here—what other fictional characters can be renamed to rhyme with what they are? Like instead of “Tony Soprano,” why not “Rob Ross the mob boss”? So—all of the theme answers in this puzzle are madeup names, but if you just think in rhyme, you should have a good time.
We weave your unique local flavor into every social media campaign. We don’t just navigate the social media landscape; we own it! Your success is our success, and we believe in the power of community. Ready to embark on a social media journey that celebrates your local culture and propels your brand to the forefront? Let’s create, connect, and conquer together.
