What Happened When We Said Goodbye to the iPad

My household is neurodiverse; my children have a space where they can freely be themselves with no judgment on their quirks or personalities. The outside world is not accommodating to neurodivergent people. Therefore, their home environment should be a place that actively ensures they feel embraced. I dedicate a great deal of energy and time to our home environment to allow my family to feel at peace within it, and because of this, it is a celebration of who they are and how they think.

Neuro-differences

It can be difficult to fully embrace neurodivergent ways, even if you are neurodivergent yourself. Be open to the idea that neuro-differences exist within a household and can cause some family friction. What works for one person may only work for that person. And sometimes, what works for the majority may not work for the minority.

For example, there are four people in my family, and all of us have differently presenting neuro-differences. Some of us have matching sensory needs, and others are opposite. As a parent coach, I have seen how these differences cause great stress within the family and can make others feel excluded from the family unit.

The first step is communication to handle the challenges of everyone’s differences. One method is to hold a weekly conversation about how and what is the best way to celebrate the ideas and perspectives of everyone. During these meetings, I recommend the following:

• Being inclusive

• Having open communication and dialogue

• Being willing to implement change when applicable

Embracing it

My household is very loud, and my son stims for the majority of his day. He stims when he is happy, anxious, and excited, to name a few occasions. Sometimes the stimming is self-regulating; if he is not doing a verbal stim, you can bet there’s a movement happening. He will pace throughout the entire household to fulfill his sensory-seeking needs. These behaviors are embraced, and because we have embraced them, it has given him the freedom to access them when needed. Adapting to his stimming behaviors was not always easy; sometimes, I wanted to sit in a quiet household. We all learned to accommodate him by figuring out what would work for each of us. His sister has no issues with any of his stimming, and I guess it’s a byproduct of being raised in it.

I use noise-cancellation headsets to embrace it when I am incapable of just letting it wash over me. I also have earplugs in every corner of our household and a pair in the car. This allows me to be in our home space without making him feel bad about doing something that is a need, not a want. To embrace others’ neuro-differences when they conflict with your own, try:

• Finding ways to allow their freedom while supporting your own needs,

• Not judging self-regulating behaviors,

• Using language meant to inform, not judge,

Beatrice (Bea) Moise, MS, BCCS is a Board-Certified Cognitive Specialist, parenting coach, national speaker, and author of Our Neurodivergent Journey. Her UNIQUE parenting channel on YouTube is dedicated to educating individuals on neurodiversity. Bea is also a digital parent expert for Verizon on Neurodiversity and Technology. She has been featured on NBC-News, Parents, PBS-Kids, The EveryMom, Charlotte Parent. Bea is frequently featured on WCNC Charlotte Parenting Today, and has been featured on Ballantyne Magazine, People of Charlotte, and Scoop’s Successful Charlotte Women providing tips for parents.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BeaMoise.M.S