An Autistic Attitude of Gratitude

By Karen Simmons

Being grateful when there are behavioral meltdowns, sensory overloads, parents in turmoil not knowing what to do, nonverbal communication issues, and routines all over the map can be the hardest thing to do.

I’m not going to be one of those “holier than thou” moms that sounds like a goody-two-shoes and says nothing ever goes wrong, because that is simply not reality. I do know this. However, when people connect, laugh, share, and have fun with the good things going on, it makes us all feel better inside; after all, that’s really all we are—feelings.

The late Dr. Jerry Jampolsky, who was the founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing and specialized in catastrophic illness, helped me understand the meaning of true forgiveness, correcting my own misperception that someone else ever caused the harm I felt when I was judged.

It didn’t mean I was tolerating the behavior of others or that I assumed I was better or superior to someone else. Instead, it meant correcting my belief that they were the cause of the harm I felt. I learned the only function I could continually practice was to choose to constantly forgive others repeatedly, releasing my grievances no matter what. This is not easy to do, but is worth the effort.

We were moving out of my house after exactly 30 years and my son with autism, Jonny, unplugged the internet by mistake, so we had to stop the entire moving process at midnight, evaluate the situation, and research how to reset it. It turned out all he really had to do was plug it in again! We all laughed, and he had his moment in the sun. It was easy to let go of the minor stress he caused.

The more we see we are all one and not separate is when we see the simplicity in life and humanity. This allows us to live in complete love; we are living to forgive.

Here are some very special words shared with me by Dr. Jerry Jampolsky at age 95 when I told him about coincidental occurrences in my life. Gerald Jampolsky, MD said the following: “Fear can be the most virulent and damaging virus known to humankind. Karen, coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous.” These philosophies have certainly pointed me along a pathway towards many magical moments over the past 25 years, especially when it comes to my work with Autism Today, co-authoring Little Rainman: Autism—Through the Eyes of a Child , and the work I’ve done since I became an Attitudinal Healing Training Facilitator in 1997.

You see, The Attitudinal Healing Center’s work is focused on traumatic situations, prisoners, children’s death, dying, and just generally anything people have very difficult times going through. With COVID-19 in the world, it is the perfect storm for this work.

I don’t want to ramble on with “a wall of text” as my son would say. Rather, I invite you to read through these 12 principles of Attitudinal Healing and, if you choose to, embrace any or all the concepts you want as they may help you during this difficult time. If not, that’s fine too.

Attitudinal Healing is based on the belief it is possible to choose peace rather than conflict, and love rather than fear. Love is the most important healing force in the world, and man, do we need this like never before!

The 12 Principles of Attitudinal Healing, with my explanations, are:

1. The essence of our being is love

At the core, everyone is good. It is the spark that started the beginning of life.

2. Health is inner peace; healing is letting go of fear

Fear stifles our creativity. Choosing to embrace our internal peace distracts us from any perceived fear outside, which is merely an illusion of what is truly going on.

3. Giving and receiving are the same

As we inhale, we also exhale. If we learn to accept from others and give from our hearts without expectation, we will feel the same reciprocal energy flow through ourselves.

4. We can let go of the past and the future

Living in the now is all there ever really is. The past is gone, and the future hasn’t happened—nor will it be in the way we project.

5. Now is the only time you have and each instant is for giving

Always releasing into the universe and continually letting go helps us recognize the synchronicity in the universe.

6. We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging

When we love and forgive everyone in our hearts, we don’t hold grudges. This frees our own hearts and energy. Judgement of others assumes a position of power rather than one of love.

7. We can become love-finders rather than fault finders

What we focus on expands, so by seeking love we find more love. If we are looking for faults and negativity, we find more of that.

8. We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside

We are in control of our feelings and our thoughts regardless of if there is an emotional hurricane around us. What we focus on fills our hearts.

9. We are students and teachers to each other

The more we know, the more we realize there is to know, and we are always learning and teaching. In the process of teaching, we also continue to learn.

10. We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments

Keep in mind the big picture in the grand scheme of things. “This too shall pass,” helps internalize the process. Little things are small, so let them go.

11. Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful

We are forever who we are. Our bodies are carriers of our entities. What makes us…us, our thoughts, feelings, emotions, heart, soul, joy, happiness…is not physical. These building blocks of our identity are the essence of our being.

12. We can always perceive others as either loving or fearful, extending a call of help for love

At the end of the day, everyone ultimately wants to be loved and accepted for who they are, regardless of abilities, race, sex, age, religion, or any other perceived difference. It may not look like it at the time; just know this to be true.

Karen Simmons, a mother of seven, founded Autism Today in 1998, the first online global autism resource center, winning the Internet Entrepreneur of the Year in 2001 from Multiple Streams of Income. Featured on PBS, ABC, and Woman’s World, she is a “Chicken Soup for the Soul, Children with Special Needs” co-author and manifested 14 books, including the Gold Medal winning The Official Autism 101 Manual. She has hosted 72 conferences across North America.

Prior to her current path, Karen worked as a gemologist where she discovered the magic of gemstones. She joined the US Air Force, where she worked in a base hospital and lived across the United States. Karen now lives in Edmonton, Alberta Canada and is transitioning Autism Today into a non-profit foundation with her partner Vincent dela Luna. They plan to share information through a Channel ARTS network and Learning and Education Division. This will easily and affordably provide resources that are needed in the autism world and beyond.

Website: www.autismtoday.com