How I Learned to Take Healthy Risks

By Ron Sandison, MDiv.

“You are always one decision away from a totally different life.”

—Author Unknown

AS A YOUNG ADULT WITH AUTISM, I OFTEN STRUGGLED WITH MAKING DECISIONS AND TAKING HEALTHY RISKS. AFTER EMPLOYMENT AND RELATIONSHIPS, THIS WAS MY GREATEST CHALLENGE. I HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE RISKS THROUGH THE AID OF MY SUPPORT TEAM AND TO USE THE SEVEN-STEP PROCESS OF DECISIONMAKING.

My support team is made up of my family and friends, but others may be added or removed to best fit the situation. I often include experts in whichever area I am making a decision. With their help, I experience less anxiety and feel confident in taking action.

Decision-making is often exhausting, overwhelming, and anxiety-provoking. Hating change in my routine and burdened by fear of the future, I used to avoid making decisions by allowing others to make them for me. Transitioning into adulthood requires us to learn to make wise decisions for ourselves by evaluating the consequences of our choices. We should not fear making wrong decisions but instead have the desire to learn from our past choices and improve our decisionmaking skills.

Success in life requires us to take proper risks. Myles Munroe, a fellow Oral Roberts University alumni and author of Maximizing Your Potential, wrote:

The graveyard is the richest place on earth because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step.

During the 2008 housing crash, my parents and brother, Steve, urged me to purchase a house or condominium. They informed me, “With the housing crash, prices will never be this low again.” During the crisis, you could buy a $270,000 house in Michigan for only $60,000. Unfortunately, with my fear of job security, the economy, and taking risks, I failed to heed their sound advice.

Looking back, I wish I had purchased a home. For our support team to be effective, we need to heed their sound advice and learn from our mistakes. After this missed opportunity, I’ve learned to utilize the decision-making process and consider my support team’s advice even if it scares me.

The seven steps of the decision-making process

Life is inherently risky. There is only one risk we must avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing. The decisionmaking process helps me be proactive and resolve issues by examining options and deciding on the best route. I experience less anxiety by implementing a step-by-step routine to make my decisions.

Here are the seven steps of the decision-making process:

1. Identify the decision. Ask yourself, “What is the problem I need to solve?” or “The choice I need to make?” Write the decision as a question and as a goal. For example, maybe you desire to transition from your parents’ home to an apartment to gain more freedom. The decision in question is: “How can I move from my parent’s house into an apartment?” Then, frame the decision as a goal: “I desire to move into an apartment in the next three months.”

2. Gather information through research and contacts. Gather data by asking people who have recently made a decision about the same subject, professionals in relevant fields, and reading books and articles on the topic. You will want to gather as many resources as possible to make the best choice. Write down the information you gain from your research and share it with your support team. For example, when deciding whether to move out of your parents’ house, gather information on apartment complexes in the area you want to move into. Talk to the apartment office management to compare rent prices and the accommodations you may need.

3. Identify alternative options. After you gather information, identify possible solutions to your problem or different ways to accomplish your goal. For example, “I could save money for an apartment down payment (option 1) or save money by having a roommate who helps pay the rent (option 2).” Write down your options and discuss them with your support team.

4. Weigh your options by examining the pros and cons. Once you have identified your options based on the information you gathered and your support team’s insight, you can make an informed decision. Write a list of the pros and cons of the different options. “Pros and cons of moving out of home: a positive of moving out of home would be more freedom and no curfew, while a negative would be cooking meals, washing laundry, and paying rent.” Some could be both a pro and a con, depending on what your goal is.

5. Choose from among the options. You gathered the information, discussed the decision with your support team, and weighed the pros and cons. Now, you can make your decision. For choosing the best option, ask yourself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” and “What’s the best that can happen?” This can help you understand the risk factors in your decision. If you find yourself still plagued with indecision or dwelling on the worst-case scenario, you may have to trust your support team’s advice. They have wisdom from experience and know what you need; they can help you to make wise decisions based on logic rather than emotions.

6. Act by developing a plan to accomplish your goal. Mark on a calendar the date you hope to reach your goal. Break your decision into small attainable steps. Kate McNulty, a therapist who is autistic, recommends, “Having a list to work from helps your brain focus. Checklists are particularly calming for the Asperger’s mind because they reduce decision fatigue. With a list of steps to follow, you can get into action without overthinking. A list enables you to place your attention where it’s needed.”

Each day, I write in a pocket-size notebook a list of things I need to accomplish. I use my daily lists as a reminder, which helps me focus on long-term goals and projects. In addition, my lists break down significant goals into attainable steps. In fact, writing this article was on one of my lists.

7. Evaluate your decision based on the impact. After you’ve taken action to reach your goal, wait a month and evaluate the consequences of your decision. Every six months, re-evaluate. Examine the process you took to make your decision, as this will help you to develop your decision-making skills further. Talk with your support team about the impact of your decision.

Analyze the positive and negative results. Ask yourself questions like, “What other decision could I have made?”, “How is my life better or worse by the decision I made?”, and “Did I have anything to fear by making this decision?” The decision-making process enables us to prioritize our tasks by their level of urgency, importance, and severity of the consequences for not doing them.

Final thoughts

The seven-step decision-making process has empowered me to resolve issues with less anxiety and gives me the confidence to take healthy risks. When making an important decision, I still consult my support team for advice. As an adult with autism, I enjoy taking healthy risks like trying a new restaurant or going on a family vacation to a new place like Painted Rocks. Confidence in decision-making was essential for my career, writing books, and having a family. For me to accomplish these goals, I had to act.

Ron Sandison works full time in the medical field and is a professor of theology at Destiny School of Ministry. He is an advisory board member of the Autism Society Faith Initiative of Autism Society of America, the Art of Autism, and the Els Center of Excellence. Ron has a Master of Divinity from Oral Roberts University and is the author of A Parent’s Guide to Autism: Practical Advice Biblical Wisdom published by Siloam, and Thought, Choice, Action. He has memorized over 15,000 Scriptures, including 22 complete books of the New Testament Ron speaks at over 70 events a year, including 20-plus education conferences. Ron and his wife, Kristen, reside in Rochester Hills, MI, with their daughter, Makayla.

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