Online Scams: THE FRIENDSHIP & DATING DUO

How to Be Social Without Falling Victim

By Jeremy Hamburgh and Ilana Frank

ONLINE SCAMS CONTINUE TO GROW, AND VULNERABLE ADULTS, INCLUDING MANY PEOPLE WITH EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS, ARE OFTEN THE VICTIMS. IN ITS MOST RECENT REPORT, THE FBI RECEIVED ALMOST 25,000 “ROMANCE SCAM” COMPLAINTS. THE VICTIMS OF THOSE SCAMS LOST NEARLY ONE BILLION. THAT’S ONLY WHAT’S REPORTED TO THE FBI. THE TRUE SCOPE OF THE ONLINE SCAM PROBLEM IS MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT. IT’S SCARY!

s a person with special needs who wants to live a social life, the fear of missing “red flags” and falling victim is real. As a parent, the fear your child will be targeted and fall for a scam is petrifying.Unfortunately, for too many parents we’ve met, their fear has become a reality. One family came to us having been defrauded of over $30,000.

Even worse, online scammers are getting increasingly sophisticated in how they target their victims and lure them in. The FBI noted, “The criminals who carry out Romance Scams are experts at what they do and will seem genuine, caring, and believable.”

A genuine, caring, and believable online persona—undoubtedly coupled with an attractive photo—is a powerful hook for someone who feels isolated and lonely. The desire of so many adults with exceptional needs to feel a sense of connection is real, which makes it easy to overlook “red flags” indicating the other person isn’t real.

There are many ways to keep yourself and your family safe from scammers, and discussing with your financial institution the safeguards they have available is an important place to start. But there’s more to be done because financial safeguards only address the symptoms of loneliness, not the cause.

What you or your child also need is a solid, science-backed social strategy that incorporates financial, physical, and emotional safety. Building a social strategy and going out into the real world with it is exactly what we work on with our clients every day. The reason why is because a solid strategy that gives our clients a clear path to their goals reduces their loneliness and anxiety and gives them inspiration and motivation.

Whether you’re a person with special needs or a parent of someone who is, the fastest route to a more vibrant social life is a smart social strategy. A smart strategy for being more confident and less fearful. A smart strategy for where to find the right people. A smart strategy for how to talk to them in a way that creates a spark. And a smart strategy for how to use those conversations as a launchpad for friendships, dates, and more.

Going out into the social world without a social strategy leaves everything to trial-and-error, and we all know how damaging that can be. Living a vibrant social life can be a balancing act, where you’re trying to maximize enjoyment while minimizing risks. It all starts with a strategic plan. If you go out into the world without one, you aren’t maximizing your potential to reach your social goals, and you may be increasing your risk of being exploited.

When you go out into the world with a solid plan—one that emphasizes both socializing and safety—you can focus on meeting new people, building your interpersonal and networking skills, and enjoying your progress. And that’s important because socializing is supposed to be fun.

But it’s hard to have fun and feel a spark when socializing if you’re frustrated by the constant trial-and-error cycle or the ever-present fear that you may be exposed to potential scammers.

Scamming lonely people is twisted and criminal, regardless of where it happens. But that’s the world we live in—the vast majority of people are genuinely good, but there are some people who do truly awful things to others. The trick in life is to find the good people and avoid the bad ones, and when you can’t avoid the bad ones, at least be prepared to protect yourself. The goal is a social life where you’re surrounded by people who care about you, which is one of the world’s most wonderful feelings.

Jeremy Hamburgh and Ilana Frank run the Social Life 360 program (www.MyBestSocialLife.com), which is a groundbreaking program that empowers autistic adults to meet new people, make new friends, start dating, and build relationships using a combination of science-based social strategy, wrap-around coaching and mentoring, and a warm, loving, and inclusive community all working towards the same goals. Parents can schedule a no-cost 90-minute Strategy Session for their family at MyBestSocialLife. com/Apply or by emailing them at Jeremy@MyBestSocialLife.com or Ilana@MyBestSocialLife.com

Website: www.MyBestSocialLife.com