Exceptional Needs Today Special Edition #1 EDUCATION

Exceptional Needs TODAY

KAELYNN PARTLOW RECEIVING ACCOMMODATIONS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT THE ART OF REGULATING WHEN MELTDOWNS OCCUR

LEARNING AND GROWING TOGETHER

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN STUDENT SERVICES END?

HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD CONNECT WITH PEERS? TAKING CONTROL OF ADHD AS A STUDENT

SCHOOL PHYSICAL THERAPISTS MAKING THEIR IMPRINT

JC Ellinger

Consider the necessity of school support staff in assisting exceptional needs children and the benefit of maintaining dialogue between these staff and parents through the example of one exemplary physical therapist.

SEVEN THINGS STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES SHOULD DO WHEN STARTING COLLEGE

Eric Endlich, PhD

Learn the benefits of selfadvocacy and what college disability accommodations can offer students with exceptional needs.

RECEIVING ACCOMMODATIONS TO MANAGE SPECIAL NEEDS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT

Kaelynn Partlow, RBT

A registered behavior technician diagnosed with autism at the age of 10 explains how supports don’t eliminate the demanding components of tasks; instead, they make them manageable.

SIX TIPS FOR BUILDING YOUR EXCEPTIONAL CHILD’S SELF-ESTEEM, CONFIDENCE, AND RESILIENCY

Temple Grandin, PhD and Debra Moore, PhD

Discover ways to nurture a child with exceptional needs’ confidence so they can face challenges and bounce back more quickly when things don’t go as planned.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN STUDENT SERVICES END: THE VANISHING IEP

Toby Tomlinson Baker

Learn how higher education institutions can improve the potential disparity between high school and postsecondary student services.

HOW TO BUILD TRUST AND INTEGRITY WITHIN YOUR IEP TEAM

Catherine Whitcher, MEd

Learn seven actions you can take to develop an excellent Individualized Education Program.

THE ART OF REGULATING WHEN MELTDOWNS OCCUR

Brandy Browne

Brandy shares tips for managing and reducing your child’s meltdowns learned from her own experiences as an exceptional needs parent and educator.

YOUR CHILD IS HAVING A NEURO-CRASH WHAT IT IS, HOW TO SPOT IT, AND WAYS TO PREVENT IT

Raun K. Kaufman

Discover what causes a Neuro-Crash and ways to address the root of the problem rather than merely suppressing its symptoms.

THREE TIPS FOR HELPING AN EXCEPTIONAL CHILD COMMUNICATE ABOUT THEIR DAY AT SCHOOL

Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS

Learn simple ways to gain valuable insight into your child’s day when communication is challenging.

KATE MAKES IT GREAT!

HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD WITH ASD BETTER CONNECT WITH HIS PEERS?

Kate C. Wilde

Remind yourself you are enough and learn ways to support your neurodivergent child’s first steps in connecting with their peers.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IEP GOALS AND IEP OBJECTIVES

Carly Quinlan

Understand how to distinguish

Individualized Education Program goals and objectives and ways they can best be applied in a complete IEP.

MY CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS BELIEVES THEIR TEACHER DOESN’T LIKE THEM

Dr. Ronald I. Malcolm

Discover 10 points of consideration when addressing your child with a disability’s potential student-teacher relationship concerns.

BRIDGING THE GAP BETWEEN SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHERS AND FAMILIES

Rebekah Poe

Learn how all caregivers of a child must work together to attain the best education possible.

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT BULLYING

Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW Advice on how to talk to kids early about bullying to preserve their mental health and enhance self-esteem, especially when there are exceptional needs.

WHY COLLEGE STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES NEED TO CONNECT WITH FACULTY

Toby Tomlinson Baker, PhD

Learn why some students try to conceal a disability when starting college and why it’s essential to avoid that pitfall.

LET’S USE THE RESOURCES WE ALREADY HAVE TO SUPPORT EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS STUDENTS

Karen Kaplan

An enlightening look at how the needs of students can be supported by employing the knowledge of paraprofessionals, teachers, and parents.

EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL PARENT ENGAGEMENT IN SCHOOLS CAN SUPPORT EDUCATIONAL SUCCESS

Meshell Baylor, MHS

Learn six key ways parental engagement

at a child’s school can help them succeed.

COULD YOUR CHILD BE LOCKED IN A SECLUSION ROOM AT SCHOOL?

Guy Stephens

Educate yourself on the history, current use, and dangers of restraint and seclusion in American schools and why you may not know if it is happening to your child.

FIVE WAYS TO ADDRESS BULLYING WHEN PREPARING A CHILD’S IEP Markeisha Hall, MA, CATP

Learn ways to address the dangers of bullying and disability harassment in your child’s Individualized Education Program.

TAKING CONTROL OF ADHD AS A STUDENT

Coral Levkovitz

Learn about some positive life habits firsthand from a recent college graduate with ADHD that may help you control a diagnosis and improve the educational experience.

SHAPING OUR FUTURE PARENTS AS PARTNERS: PROMOTING COLLABORATION BETWEEN HOME AND SCHOOL

Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L

Discover how the concept “Parents as Partners,” can be used to model your interactions with those supporting a child through their education.

EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING: ALLOWING MENTAL EXERCISE THROUGH EVERYDAY SKILLS

Dr. Chris Abildgaard, EdD, LPC, NCSP, NCC

Learn why it’s essential to encourage mental exercise for your child when prompting them to complete everyday tasks.

DIRECTORY OF TOP RESOURCES AND SERVICES

Check out our unique directory for leading community services and educational programs, as well as professional resources and services

Exceptional Needs

Our mission is to educate, support, and energize families, caregivers, educators, and professionals while preparing all families for a healthy future.

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Editor in Chief: Amy KD Tobik

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Professional Consultants

Chris Abildgaard, EdD, LPC, NCSP, NCC Debra Moore, PhD

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Exceptional Needs Today magazine is published quarterly with the addition of special editions. It is distributed by Lone Heron Publishing.

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From the Editor’s Desk

When I launched Exceptional Needs Today magazine several years ago, I aimed to connect a community of advocates, families, educators, physicians, and therapists. Together, we can inspire change by sharing knowledge and experiences while providing much-needed support. And when it comes to education, long-term success lies in building awareness, acceptance, and inclusion.

This special edition issue, titled Learning and Growing Together, features a collection of top-performing content reflecting a range of community voices. Inside is a fantastic collection of Exceptional Needs Today education-focused articles written by renowned authors such as Temple Grandin, Ph.D. & Debra Moore, Ph.D.; Toby Tomlinson Baker, Ph.D.; Kate C Wilde; Karen Kaplan; Guy Stephens; Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L; Raun K. Kaufman; Dr. Chris Abildgaard, EdD, NCSP, LPC, NCC; and many more.

One size does not fit all, especially when it comes to schooling. Individuals interpret and interact with information differently. Not everyone will benefit equally from a single form of instruction. Unfortunately, some believe educational supports, modifications, and accommodations create unfair advantages. This is far from the truth. Instead, these provisions provide equal access to learning. Every child belongs.

This month’s cover features Kaelynn Partlow, a registered behavior technician diagnosed with autism at the age of 10. She believes receiving supports doesn’t eliminate demanding components of tasks; rather, they make them manageable. In her article, Receiving Accommodations to Manage Special Needs Is NOT the Easy Way-Out, Kaelynn compares access to therapies, sensory tools, medical care, and modifications to a hiker putting on boots, protective clothing, and carrying supplies. She says accommodations don’t make goals easier—they make them more attainable. I’ve known Kaelynn since she was a teen, so it’s thrilling to feature her now as a professional whose advocacy reaches millions worldwide. Some of you may recognize Kaelynn from when

she was a featured participant on Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum.

Other available topics include building a child’s self-esteem, how to talk to a child about bullying, managing meltdowns, distinguishing between Individualized Education Program (IEP) goals and objectives, promoting collaboration between home and school, what happens when student services end, taking control of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) as a student, what students with disabilities should do when starting college, why it’s important to connect with faculty as a student, and so much more.

We want to thank our contributors, advertisers, and subscribers who continue to support and play an integral part in our award-winning magazine.

Please encourage friends and family to subscribe to Exceptional Needs Today for guidance. Let’s continue to promote awareness, acceptance, and inclusion in the exceptional needs community while making meaningful changes for tomorrow—TOGETHER!

Best,

Amy KD Tobik

Editor-in-Chief, Exceptional Needs Today Publisher, Lone Heron Publishing

By Kaelynn Partlow, RBT

Is NOT the Easy Way Out Receiving Accommodations to Manage Special Needs

Autism advocates talk a lot about how we need to “accommodate” people on the spectrum.

But when we say, “Autistic people need accom modations,” what does that actually mean?

It means giving someone access to an item/activity/service/modification that eliminates or reduces the challenges caused by their disability.

As an adult on the autism spectrum, I receive support and accommodations in a number of ways. For example, in public places, I am allowed to bring my trained service dog with me to help me navigate the challenges that go along with being in busy environments with sensory issues. At amusement parks, I receive a pass allowing me to wait my turn for rides and attractions outside the line. This means I can wait somewhere quiet, away from the crowds, and take my turn when a specified amount of time has passed.

Another example of modifications includes the work duties my employer removed or altered to accommodate my challenges. I also have dyslexia, which can make the paperwork parts of my job working with autistic children extremely difficult. While I excel in some areas, I need accommodations or assistance in others.

Some people have this idea that providing support and accommodations means a person is getting “the easy way out.” As an autistic person, I want to explain why that is not the case.

Let’s start by talking about what “support” DOESN’T mean.

Giving someone support does not mean that tasks or activities are made easy. Having support does not mean all struggles associated with the tasks have been eliminated.

Here’s an example to help illustrate what I mean: Hikers like to take long walks outside for fun, for exercise, as a personal challenge or because they’re crazy, or some combination of those reasons. Hiking can be incredibly difficult because it requires someone to be in decent physical shape and have a certain amount of motivation. Hikers do certain things to support themselves so they can reach their goals. This can include wearing hiking boots, carrying a backpack, or wearing bug spray. Just because they’re wearing hiking boots does not mean the hike becomes easy. Having a backpack will not make the hike shorter, and bug spray won’t mean they’ll never encounter pests. However, these tools provide support in making the hike possible for the hiker.

Now imagine a hiker motivated to hike a long distance on a difficult trail, but this time, the hiker is completely naked and isn’t carrying anything. This hiker is unsupported and will face all the same challenges of the hike, but now they have the additional challenge on top of it all, which is completing the hike in the nude. They will face struggles with cuts on their feet, the inability to carry water or supplies, and they will have no protection from the elements.

Receiving support as a disabled person is much like giving clothing and supplies to a hiker. The support does not eliminate the challenging components of the task, but it does make the challenging pieces manageable.

As a person with a disability, having access to therapies, sensory tools, medical care, and modifications is equivalent to a hiker putting on boots, protective clothing, and carrying supplies. It does not make the activity or task easy, and it does not eliminate the struggle involved. Instead, it just eases the additional and unnecessary difficulties caused by having a disability in a world that is not designed for nude hikers.

Some people believe that accommodations for disabilities are the result of people who don’t want to work hard or adapt to their environment. However, I’d argue that accommodations are NOT the easy way out. Have you ever heard the figure of speech, “using it as a crutch”? This phrase implies that a person is “leaning” or relying on someone for something that’s not truly needed; they’re just doing it to make things easier.

Here’s what doesn’t make sense about that figure of speech and its application, no one uses crutches for fun. Nobody is walking around on crutches without needing to make walking easier. In fact, using crutches makes walking harder, which is why people don’t use them unless they must. If crutches made getting around easier, we’d use them in races, but we don’t because the purpose of crutches was never to make walking “easier,” the purpose is to make walking possible!

My message to anyone needing accommodations is this: do not allow anyone to try and convince you that your hiking boots, backpack, or bug spray are a type of “crutch.” Remember that no one asks for accommodations to make things easier—they ask for accommodations to make things attainable. If you encounter someone having difficulty grasping this concept, ask them to go for a nude hike in the woods, but don’t forget to hand them a pair of crutches!

Kaelynn Partlow, RBT, is 25 years old and was diagnosed with autism at the age of 10. She lives in Greenville, SC, and has been employed at Project Hope Foundation as a Registered Behavior Technician for the last seven years, where she works with middle and high-school-aged clients. Kaelynn has published several autism advocacy articles and was a recent participant in the Netflix series Love On The Spectrum. Her Instagram and TikTok accounts are nearing 200,000 followers, with multiple videos reaching millions of views. In her spare time, she enjoys spending time with family and working with her dog to do competitive obedience shows with the American Kennel Club.

Instagram: https://bit.ly/3XTX22v

TikTok: https://bit.ly/44i6zTz

Six Tips for Building

Your Exceptional Child’s Self-Esteem,

Confidence, and Resiliency

By Temple Grandin, PhD and Debra Moore, PhD

CHILDREN’S SELF-ESTEEM, CONFIDENCE, AND RESILIENCY DON’T MAGICALLY DEVELOP. THEY ARE BUILT OR DIMINISHED BY EXPERIENCES AND FEEDBACK FROM OTHERS. WHEN SUCCESSFULLY NURTURED, THEY PROVIDE THE FOUNDATION FOR CHILDREN TO TRY NEW THINGS, FACE CHALLENGES, AND BOUNCE BACK WHEN THINGS DON’T GO AS PLANNED. HERE ARE SOME TIPS FOR HELPING A CHILD ESTABLISH THESE CRUCIAL TRAITS.

1. RECOGNIZE YOUR CHILD’S UNIQUE CHALLENGES AND ACCOMMODATE THEM

Adjust your child’s environment to bring out their greatest potential. Tell others (teachers, friends, extended family) what your child needs to engage most successfully with the world.

Here are three examples:

Kyle is on the autism spectrum. He needs more time to process incoming information. Slow down your rate of speech. Be alert for times you’re tired or stressed because you probably start talking faster. This is exactly when Kyle needs you to go slower. He’ll pick up on your tension, and his processing speed will slow down even more.

Cheyenne struggles to produce language. She needs more time to respond to your questions. She might need a full 30 seconds. Recognize her brain is silently working hard during this period. Be patient; do not prompt her or repeat your question. It just puts pressure on her.

Austin’s traumatic brain injury interferes with his ability to shift attention. His thinking freezes up if you rush him. His brain is like a desktop computer with lousy Wi-Fi. If you try to hurry it up, you sabotage Austin. Give his brain time to come onboard. Once his “website” is up, it runs. But when he has to switch pages, it’s slow.

2. HELP YOUR CHILD ACHIEVE A CALM RESTING STATE AND LEARN SELF-REGULATION TOOLS

Too many children with exceptional needs live in a state of emotional, physical, or cognitive stress. Basic functions like heart rate, breathing rate, and adrenaline output are often on overdrive. Kids cannot learn or enjoy life when they can’t relax. Before expecting them to pay attention or try something new, you must help them feel safe and stable.

For lots of kids, their day will go better if it starts with relaxation techniques or simple exercise. All kids benefit from learning how to monitor and control their breath. You can

watch online videos and then practice together throughout the day. A few stretches can also produce dramatic reductions in anxiety and arousal.

Teach your child to recognize situations that escalate their fight or flight reactions. Have a tool kit they can turn to that reminds them of their tools. This builds resiliency for when your child faces adversity and you’re not around.

Here’s one example:

Anthony’s dad used colorful index cards and pictures cut from magazines to help his eight-year-old son learn and remember to use regulation skills. He put the cards in a shoe box labeled “Anthony’s Calm, Cool, and Collected Cards.” Anthony pulled out a card randomly (or could search for a favorite) every morning, when he felt a meltdown coming on, and before going to bed. His parents saw the improvement in their son’s mood and started using the cards too!

3. GIVE YOUR CHILD CHOICES

We all want to feel in control, and no one likes being told what to do. Presenting your child with choices is empowering. It lets them know their opinions and needs matter.

Here are two examples:

Ursula, 12, has gained weight and is approaching obesity but doesn’t want to exercise. Her mom recognizes the dangerous health consequences and is determined to help her daughter. She gives Ursula two choices: they can take a 15-minute walk each day, or Ursula can follow along with a very basic YouTube exercise program for children. It’s up to Ursula, but she has to try one of them for at least one week. These are manageable choices: time-limited, not complex, and within her range of ability.

Isaac has social anxiety and is embarrassed by his moderate speech impairments. As a result, he isolates himself in his room. His dad gave him two choices: go out with him each Saturday for a father-son ice-cream treat (where he has Isaac place the simple order) or invite the boy next door to the house to play a game.

4. STRETCH YOUR CHILD VIA BABY STEPS TO CREATE A SENSE OF MASTERY

Children grow by being stretched. You have to give them manageable baby steps. These steps will create some anxiety but won’t overwhelm. You can’t let kids stagnate, but you don’t throw them in the deep end of the pool either. Some parents overprotect their children, and that is a disservice. Here are a few examples of stretching your child.

Frankie, 11, does not help around the house and when asked to do a chore, often claims he “can’t.” He is starting to use his moderate physical and mild visual challenges as excuses. His

mom assigns him the chore of setting and clearing the dinner table. Frankie gets good mobility, strength, and visual depth perception practice by doing these tasks. She doesn’t give him a task requiring extensive fine motor skills, quick movements, or too much strength: these would be too much of a stretch.

Gina is on the autism spectrum and is socially awkward. She relies on her older sister to ask for help or make a purchase. Her dad takes Gina to a small convenience store during a not-too-busy time of day. He shows her how to ask the clerk

where something is and how to pay for a few items. Then he has Gina try it while he hangs back. His daughter is nervous but proud of herself afterwards.

5. FOCUS ON STRENGTHS AND BUILD THEM UP. INCORPORATE YOUR CHILD’S INTERESTS INTO THIS PROCESS

Every child is wired and built differently. Know their strengths and use them as tools for growth. Use natural abilities instead of expecting a child to learn or navigate the world in ways they are not wired for. Use their interests as well as their strengths to broaden and deepen their knowledge and skills.

Here is an example:

Diego is a visual thinker. He automatically sees pictures of whatever you talk to him about. He has above-average recall for what he’s seen and is good at recognizing visual patterns. He’s not good at processing verbal information, and he can’t remember long strings of spoken instructions. Diego’s teachers and parents should write things down or use pictures to create task lists. It will help create a “pilot’s checklist” for Diego any time he needs to learn a new skill. Each item on the list should be bulleted, no more than a few words, clear, and specific. Diego will be able to complete tasks this way that he could never succeed at if someone just told him how to do it.

Diego’s main interest is dinosaurs. His teacher can teach him math by using dinosaurs in his lessons. His parents can encourage his artistic ability by having him draw dinosaurs but not letting him just draw the same one over and over. They can have him draw baby dinosaurs, winged dinosaurs, armored dinosaurs, and so on. They can help him Google images of where dinosaurs live and learn about those environments. They can find timelines, graphs, and charts (which tap into his visual pattern recognition strength) that show when dinosaurs lived. This can teach him about historical ages, evolution, and even geology.

6. PRAISE YOUR CHILD EFFECTIVELY

Not all praise is equal. Commending your child when they work hard, persist at a difficult task, face their fears, or perform specific laudable acts (such as helping another person) builds self-esteem and confidence. Praising them in generalizations, though, can actually undermine self-worth. Kids need to be able to anchor your feedback to specific behaviors.

Here are examples:

Lani had her first swimming lesson. She was nervous and struggled more than the other children. Don’t tell Lani “You did great!” She knows she didn’t. Instead, say something like, “I’m very proud of how you gave everything a try today. I know you’re scared to put your head in the water, but you did it! With that attitude and practice, I know you are going to get more comfortable soon.”

Yoshi loved art and liked to share his paintings with his dad. His dad’s response used to be very general. “That’s great! You have real talent.” But that never made Yoshi feel great, and it did nothing to deepen the father-son relationship. A much more powerful response might be something like this: “Yoshi, I love the colors you selected! How did you decide which ones to use?”

Insincere praise backfires. Praise used to manipulate causes resentment. Praise that is too general doesn’t sink in. And praise that is too effusive can embarrass. Remember to keep it authentic, based on qualities like effort, kindness, and perseverance, and proportionate to the behavior. That’s how to effectively reinforce your child and build genuine self-confidence.

Dr. Temple Grandin is a professor of Animal Sciences at Colorado State University. She has revolutionized the handling of livestock around the world. She is a prolific writer and frequent speaker on both animal science and autism. Her mother was told Temple would need to be institutionalized. As a toddler, she had multiple developmental delays, including speech, and was diagnosed with autism. Her life story was depicted in the award-winning HBO movie Temple Grandin

Dr. Debra Moore is a psychologist who has worked extensively with children, teens, and adults on the autism spectrum. She has retired from active practice and devotes her time to writing and volunteering. She and Temple have co-authored two books: The Loving Push: How Parents and Professionals Can Help Spectrum Kids Become Successful Adults (2016) and Navigating Autism: 9 Mindsets for Helping Kids on the Spectrum (2021).

What Happens When Student Services End

The Vanishing IEP

By Toby Tomlinson Baker

CHANCES ARE WE ALL KNOW A STUDENT WITH A DISABILITY. THERE ARE

ABOUT SEVEN MILLION TEENS IN THE NATION WHO CURRENTLY HAVE AN INDIVIDUALIZED EDUCATION PROGRAM (IEP), THE DOCUMENT THAT IS WRITTEN ANNUALLY AND SPECIFIES THE EXACT SERVICES EACH STUDENT WITH DISABILITIES RECEIVES THAT HAS SUPPORTED THEM ALL THROUGH SCHOOL.

But the second these students graduate from high school and enter college, their IEP vanishes. Twelve percent of all students enrolled in college have disabilities. Many families wonder what happened to their child’s IEP. They ask, “How will my child receive the help they need during college? How can we deal with the ‘Vanishing IEP?’”

The protections for students with disabilities written in their IEPs are covered by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act of 1975 (IDEA). This legislation no longer applies once a student with disabilities graduates from high school. So, if this law does not apply to post-secondary students with disabilities, what laws do apply?

The Higher Education Opportunity Act was enacted in 2008, which was the first time in 40 years legislation focused on postsecondary students with disabilities. In 2019, the Higher Education Act was reviewed for reauthorization, yet lawmak-

ers in Washington reached an impasse. Even though there have been many changes in higher education impacting these students, no legislation has been amended.

Currently, there is no consistent mandated legislation protecting students with disabilities in higher education. Since the IDEA is obsolete, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) seems to be the go-to for legislation in higher education. The ADA’s protections are very broad and do not apply specifically to students with disabilities.

Postsecondary students with disabilities need IEPs to have the same services as they had in high school. Not enough students with disabilities are making a successful transition from high school to college or other training programs. Students with disabilities enter college with the dream of graduating. Yet too many students are failing their classes, dropping out or, as experts say, “departing.” In fact, 72 percent of post-secondary students with disabilities departed last year!

Since many students with disabilities who enter colleges after high school do not want to be labeled, or perhaps wish to shed their disability, they refrain from utilizing self-disclosure for a ademic assistance. Furthermore, privacy laws such as the Faily Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) prevent familiesfrom stepping in and assisting their college teens. However, even for students who disclose their disability, there are still many concerns in higher education that are ignored, such as testing accommodations, resources, and advocacy. One major issue is faculty support and their implementation of appropr ate accommodations in the classroom and online setting.

Since changing the national law is time-consuming, particularly during a pandemic, there are things that can be done right

now by higher education faculty. Higher education institutions can start by training all their faculty in disability studies. They can change their policies to have mandatory training on disability topics at least once a year. Furthermore, they could have a disabilities expert on-hand, besides their Accessibility Officer. They could establish faculty meetings with students with disabilities every semester and they can stress the importance of having a healthy faculty/student-with-disability relationship.

If the IEP was an approved document at all colleges and universities, these institutions would have much more information to provide better accommodations for their students. The stigma of students with disabilities and the retention rate would be reduced. If the IEP traveled to college, more students with disabilities would graduate!

Toby Tomlinson Baker earned her PhD at Pepperdine University in Leadership and Global Policy. She is a lecturer at California State University—Los Angeles (CSULA) and she teaches special education with the Los Angeles Unified School District. Dr. Baker was awarded the Harrison Sylvester Award for her research by the Learning Disability Association (LDA) and has been CHADD’s 2018 Educator of the Year.

Email: tobytomlinsonbaker.net

How to Build Trust and Integrity within Your IEP Team

By Catherine Whitcher, MEd

SPECIAL EDUCATION IS NEVER GOING TO LOOK THE SAME AGAIN, AND THAT’S NOT A BAD THING. AFTER THE NATIONWIDE SCHOOL SHUTDOWNS OF 2020 AND MORE MISSED SERVICES THAN EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE, SOME MIGHT SAY SPECIAL EDUCATION HAS FALLEN APART. PERFECT. NOW, TOGETHER, WE CAN WELCOME THE OPPORTUNITY TO PUT IT BACK TOGETHER BETTER THAN EVER!

Just like every other year, Individualized Education Program (IEP) meeting notices are going to be flying in and out of email inboxes at rapid speed in the second half of the school year. When it’s time to meet for your annual IEP meeting, you’ll be determined to be ready. A big focus will be on what worked and didn’t work since the last meeting and a clear plan of what needs to happen next for your child to be prepared for further education, employment, and independent living.

If you’re the parent at the table, you’ve rehearsed in your head a hundred times what you need the staff to know about your child’s education.

If you’re the teacher or therapist at the table, you’ve got piles of data to prove you’ve done your job in helping the studentmove forward.

No matter your role at the IEP table, you know there’s always a question of “What’s really going to happen at the IEP table?” It doesn’t have to be this way.

IEP meetings should not be filled with new information and recommendations you’ve never heard before you pulled up your chair to the crowded conference room table or logged into the virtual meeting room. Your entire process in developing IEPs with excellence needs to begin with the teamwork that allows for no surprises at the IEP table. When the IEP process is done effectively, everyone comes to the table with equal information on successes and areas that need improvement.

IEP meetings in 2021 need to be future-focused and solutioncentered to ensure we are using our time wisely, as a team, to support the unique learning needs of the child.

Actions for Parents to Build a Better IEP

1. Share the IEP agenda

The IEP agenda should be a combination of what needs to happen at the IEP table legally and a brief description of concerns that will be addressed during this specific meeting. Parents should request the agenda prior to the meeting and make suggestions of items to be added or removed based on priorities for the child.

2. Declare your concerns and vision

Declare your concerns and vision

Your fellow IEP team members need to know your concerns and bigger vision for your child throughout the entire IEP process. You may think your wants for your child are obvious, but they’re not. What you want for your child may be very different from what other parents want for theirs, and that’s okay!

Every IEP in every state has a section specifically for parents to address their educational concerns and set priorities for their child’s education. Use this section wisely, and it can change the entire trajectory of your child’s education.

3. Be ready to make decisions

Indecisiveness kills trust and increases conflict. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take some time to decide the pros and cons of big suggestions brought by the team. Being collaborative and building an IEP requires you to say YES and trust the IEP team whenever possible. Use the data at the table to guide your heart and your gut to what is most appropriate for your child. With all of the chaos in 2020, it’s more important than ever that we make decisions and move forward.

4. Ask for help

You are not expected to have all of the answers all of the time. If you do not understand any part of the IEP process, this is not something to hide. Be bold and ask for help. Did you know training for parents, when it relates to an IEP goal, can be added to the IEP? It’s true! Whether it’s training on a specific math method, behavior management, or new speech device, parent training can be the missing piece for your child in finally reaching that next milestone.

5. Build on strengths

Building a child’s strengths into the IEP for 2021 is a huge motivator for children to jump back into learning. Any time you can integrate a child’s preferred learning method or even their favorite cartoon character into their day, you increase the chance of the child staying engaged with the lesson. With all the stressors of 2020, connecting and building skills with preferred activities is a win/win for teachers and students. This strategy should be specifically noted within the IEP, either within the IEP goals or the accommodations and modifications section.

6. Trust yourself and listen

You must trust yourself. Before you can trust your IEP team, you have to own what you know and what your role is in help ing your child be prepared for the future. If you don’t trust yourself, your knowledge, and your experience, others will struggle with trusting you, too. One of the most impactful statements you can make to your fellow IEP team members is, “Tell me what you want to help my child achieve and what’s in your way. I’ll help you.” Then wait, listen, and take in all the details without forming an immediate response. Ask more questions, try to fully understand the perspective of your IEP team member, then work together for a solution. With your knowledge of your child and the team’s expertise, you can solve almost anything.

Parents and teachers are more exhausted than ever before. We need to acknowledge and reward each other for both efforts and accomplishments. Praise and recognition help remind each other that we appreciate everyone’s efforts, especially on the tough days. Send an email or a coffee gift card to an IEP team member who has demonstrated consistent efforts to help your child reach both IEP goals and goes beyond what’s on paper. Watch the comradery build inside your IEP team when IEP communication is not always focused on the negative, and emails in the inbox may just be a big thank you.

What to do next...

Do not believe the misconception that successful IEP teams are happy, lighthearted, and smooth sailing. This is often not the case. Successful IEP teams are engaged, communicative, and constantly problem solving to either fix a problem or take situations from good to great. Highly effective IEP teams are always ready to right the wrongs because they know mistakes

are going to happen. If the mistakes weren’t happening, then you wouldn’t be trying hard enough.

It’s time for you to decide what you should continue doing, stop doing, and start doing to help the IEP team meet your child’s unique needs. Choosing to build trust and have integrity means making the decision that you always want to be getting better at your role in the IEP process. Trust within an IEP team demands personnel connections, constructive feedback, and a big picture perspective of helping your child be prepared for their future.

Imagine next time walking into your IEP meeting filled with hope, possibilities, and strength, not only because you’ve prepared for your role at the IEP meeting, but because you’re surrounded by a team of knowledgeable individuals clear in what your vision for your child entails. It’s entirely possible to take the unfortunate action of schools closing, hybrid models, and distance learning, and turn it into a true opportunity to improve your child’s education at a whole new level, side by side with your IEP team.

Catherine Whitcher, MEd, Founder of the Master IEP Coach® Mentorship + Network, has been building IEPs for the Real World for over 20 years. With experience as a special education teacher and special needs sibling, Catherine knows the importance of helping a child reach their potential both inside and outside the classroom. She is the host of the Special Education Inner Circle Podcast and currently leads Master IEP Coaches® nationwide in creating collaborative and effective IEP meetings. Her proven methods of building better IEPs have helped thousands of parents and schools work together to prepare students for further education, employment, and independent living.

Website: www.masterIEPcoach.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/catherinewhitcher

Instagram: www.instagram.com/catherinewhitcher

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/catherinewhitcher

Special Education Inner Circle: www.specialedinnercircle.com

Special Education Inner Circle Podcast: https://www.catherinewhitcher.com/podcast

You’re not expected to have the answers all the time.

If you do not understand any part of the IEP process, this is not something to hide.

Re gu lating Wh en Meltdown s Occur

By Brandy Browne

YESTERDAY, I WATCHED IN FRUSTRATION AS MY DAUGHTER MELTED INTO A CRYING BALL OF WILD CURLS ROCKING BACK AND FORTH. WHAT WAS THE PROBLEM? SHE HAD HELPED SWEEP THE FLOOR, BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD GOT A CRUMB OF THE CHICKEN FEED WE KEEP IN A BIG TUB BY THE DOOR ON HER HAND? NOW, SHE DIDN’T FEEL WE COULD TAKE THE BABY BUNNIES OUT OF THE CAGE TO HOLD BECAUSE WHAT IF THEY LICKED HER HAND AND THEN DIED? SHE WAS STUCK IN HER UPSTAIRS BRAIN (A DANIEL SEGEL TERM...LOOK UP HIS RESEARCH ON THE BRAIN...IT’S FASCINATING), AND THERE WAS NO REASONING WITH HER. THIS IS NOT AN UNUSUAL OCCURRENCE. SHE IS ONE OF MANY AROUND THE WORLD WHO DEAL WITH CRIPPLING ANXIETY AND ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER (ADHD) TO BOOT. AS A PARENT AND EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATOR WITH A DEGREE IN PARENTING AND CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT, I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH ABOUT HOW TO HANDLE THESE MELTDOWNS WHEN THEY OCCUR.

I’ll share my tips of the trade, but rest assured, no matter how knowledgeable you are, it can still be incredibly frustrating and heart-wrenching to watch.

First and foremost, de-escalate the situation. My daughter thrives on physical touch, so I wrapped her up in my arms and held her until I felt her body relax under my arms. Some children have an aversion to touch, and in this case, it would be best to simply sit nearby, offering a calm presence until the worst has passed.

Be intentional about thriving on routine. While spontaneity may have a place, children who have difficulty regulating and

de-escalating need structure and routine. In a personal interview with writer Julia Cook (author of My Mouth is a Volcano, I Just Don’t Like the Sound of No, and Herman Jiggle, Say Hello!), she noted, “anxiety has to do with predictability” (J. Cook, personal communication, March 17, 2021). When children who suffer from anxiety or even ADHD, autism, etc., do not have a clear picture of what is expected, it can cause panic and disruptive behaviors that stem from worries about what is to come.

Children’s literature has a wealth of strategies that can give children a concrete way to help manage anxiety. For example, I employed a strategy from Suzanne Chiew’s The Worry Box in coaching sessions with clients this past winter. One particular

child struggles with anxiety and sensory processing disorder, and is on the spectrum. We read the story together, and she made her own “worry box.” The purpose of the worry box is to list the things that are causing the child stress and “put them away.” Then, you can take them out with a trusted adult to talk to. This helps give worry a time and place, rather than taking over their day.

Julia Cook discussed a similar strategy in a recent interview. She stated, “I like to have kids write down everything that is stressing them out on a piece of paper. Then, draw a circle on another piece of paper. They look at their list...if they have control over the thing they are stressing out about, it goes inside the circle. If they can’t control it, it has to stay outside the circle. They focus their energy on the things that they have control over. Another thing that has worked for kids is anxiety recipe cards. So, they have a worry…What if Mom doesn’t pick me up on time? What happens? Well, you wait for a while.

Then, you call. They talk through that process and write it on the card. Then, the card goes inside their recipe box that they keep in their backpack. So, they don’t have to have that worry up here (motions towards head)” (J. Cook, personal communication, March 17th, 2021).

Additionally, so much excessive anxiety stems from sleep deprivation. Here, parents must be very intentional about making sure the sleeping environment is calm and relaxing for children. Leave electronics out of the sleeping area. Instead, opt for low lighting, cool temperatures, and possibly a white noise machine. The white noise machine is quiet enough not to disturb children but has enough sound that it blocks out general night time noises that may be distracting.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Battling anxiety with a child who has other exceptional needs can be extremely exhausting and isolating for parents. It is important to reach out to your support system to help you through. There are various online support groups that serve this purpose, as well as any local parent groups in your area, church groups, or friends and family. Additionally, maintaining your self-care routine (while difficult at times) is critical in helping you remain regulated enough to be able to help your child regulate.

An unregulated child will never learn to properly regulate from an adult who is not regulated themselves.

Sources

Cook, J. 2021, March 17th. Personal Interview

Brandy Browne is an early childhood educator in the United States, as well as a family coach and blogger for UnStuck, her family coaching service aimed at helping families develop positive habits and breaking the cycle of generational trauma and poverty. Her degree is in early and elementary education, and she also has a master’s degree in parenting and child/adolescent development. Brandy is the wife of her high school sweetheart of 15 years, and together they share three children, aged ten, seven, and five. In her free time, she enjoys reading, gardening, writing, and distance running.

By JC Ellinger

IN 2018-2019, ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL CENTER FOR EDUCATION STATISTICS, THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS FROM AGES THREE TO 21 WHO RECEIVED SPECIAL EDUCATION SERVICES UNDER THE INDIVIDUALS WITH DISABILITY ACT (IDEA) WAS 7.1 MILLION. OR 14 PERCENT OF ALL PUBLIC SCHOOL STUDENTS. IF YOU TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE STUDENTS WHO ALSO RECEIVE SERVICES UNDER SPEECH OR LANGUAGE IMPAIRMENT, THAT PERCENTAGE EXPONENTIALLY INCREASES TO ACCOUNT FOR OVER 50 PERCENT OF STUDENTS WHO RECEIVE SUPPORT UNDER IDEA.

Support staff in the school setting present themselves in many forms, but all have the weight of responsibility heavy on their shoulders—a weight of over seven million students to be exact. The roles these special individuals play take the shape of speech therapists, occupational therapists, paraprofessionals such as autism aides, and physical therapists (PT). Many students and parents of neurotypical children may not even be aware support for these specific needs exists. Yet parents who have accessed these services have done so out of necessity, for the support these therapists and aids provide is the bridge that connects children with exceptional needs to their educational goals.

School physical therapists are dedicated to working with students in the school setting. Lucie Haisen, PT, MPT, referred to as “Ms. Lucie” by her students, has been working as a school physical therapist in the Los Angeles Unified School District for over 15 years. She shared some of the ins and outs of being a school PT that have helped the kiddos she works with every day achieve heartwarming triumphs such as this:

“He had cerebral palsy and autism and was mainly in a wheelchair throughout his day. Although he was non-verbal, made minimal eye-contact, and didn’t understand directions, he loved music. I saw his potential for walking because his core strength and leg muscles were strong enough to support his body weight when we [his mom and I] stood him up. It was months of crawling behind him while I moved his legs through a reciprocal walking motion. His mom held his hands over a walker to teach him to hold on while his favorite songs played on a small portable radio strapped to his walker. Finally, he started taking steps on his own while holding onto his walker!”

The peaks and valleys of this impactful job create challenges, but patience and heart work directly toward the development of deserving students. Whether a student is working on holding a pencil so they can create written text for the first time or is building up to standing from their wheelchair, it is the school PTs who play a pivotal role in reaching their goal.

Mrs. Haisen added, “The most challenging thing about being a school PT is building trust and a good working relationship with the parents [of the student].”

A school therapist will meet with the parent in the initial stages for testing and/or to develop a plan to address the goals

agreed upon in conjunction with the IEP (Individualized Education Program) team, but once therapy sessions begin, the parent and therapist do not typically have the opportunity to meet regularly. As a parent, it’s easy to forget when your child has had therapy that day, and I know it is common (just by way of busy schedules) for the therapist to fall out of communication with the parents.

As in any profession, there are singular superheroes who go out of their way to make the extra effort. Mrs. Haisen is one of them. She makes the effort to call, text, or email parents throughout the school year to let them know what she is working with the student on. “I also give them suggestions for practice at home and to celebrate progress or new skills,” she continued.

With her medically-based PT background, Mrs. Haisen worked with parents more closely on a daily basis, so she understands the value of parents getting to know the therapist one-on-one. Our own experiences can filter into our everyday practices. PTs have the gift of gifting their training, experience, and commitment in the form of therapy to their students.

As a parent herself, Mrs. Haisen can relate to the natural worries of being one. And although the current times have changed, she, like many other therapists in the school setting, is still making her mark. Parents and therapists are having to seek op-portunities to get creative with their therapy sessions through virtual telehealth. It can be a delicate balance to create a virtual therapy session that still incorporates their goals while making the sessions “fun and engaging.” However, parents can rest assured there are still impactful individuals creating smiles one child at a time.

“Students with Disabilities.” National Center for Educational Statistics, May 2020, nces.ed.gov

Accessed February 2, 2021.

JC Ellinger brings life stories and experiences as an autism mom to publications such as Exceptional Needs Today and Autism Parenting Magazine. She is currently working on her first children’s book geared at bringing relatability and support to other ASD children just like her amazing son. JC carries an MBA from Regis University and a BA in Communications from CSU Long Beach. Now, she is returning to graduate school to add an MA in English to her resume and spread her love of writing to young minds.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ jc.ellinger.writer

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ jc.ellinger

Email: Juliet.ellinger01@gmail.com

impactful job c re ate challenges, but patience and hear t work directly toward the development of deserving students.

Seven Things Students with Disabilities Should Do When Starting College

By Eric Endlich, PhD

STUDENTS WITH DISABILITIES OFTEN HAVE TREMENDOUS POTENTIAL AS WELL AS EXCEPTIONAL NEEDS. BUT TO FULFILL THAT POTENTIAL IN COLLEGE, THEY NEED TO PREPARE THEMSELVES ADEQUATELY BECAUSE THE TRANSITION FROM HIGH SCHOOL INVOLVES A HUGE INCREASE IN INDEPENDENCE.

Here are seven key strategies and mindsets that can help set students up for success.

1. GET AN EARLY START PLANNING YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS AND SERVICES

During the college search process, high school students should research what disability accommodations are available at each school, as well as what documentation the schools require. Susan Smythe, Americans with Disabilities Act Program Manager/Senior Project Manager at Swarthmore College, recommends students “reach out to the admissions and disability services offices at the schools you are interested in ahead of time to see what services they offer/how the campus is set up, and plan ahead. In addition, many students who may not have needed accommodations in high school start to struggle in college. Reach out early and register with the office, and at least have an initial intake/conversation—even if you feel you

might not need it. Accommodations are never retroactive, so don’t wait until you’re really struggling to start the process.”

Kelsey Bohlke, Assistant Director of the Office of Accessible Education at Agnes Scott College, likewise observes, “You’re going to be so much more successful if you proactively put supports in place (even if you never use them!) than waiting until an academic or mental health crisis occurs and you’re scrambling at the last minute.”

2. BE PREPARED TO ADVOCATE FOR YOURSELF

“Once you get to college, you will be expected to self-advocate for essentially all of your needs,” Bohlke notes. “Whether it is to discuss a grade, find a counselor, or set up accommodations, the expectation is that you, the student, take the lead on all of this rather than a parent or teacher. An important precursor to being able to advocate for yourself is self-awareness. If

you know yourself and what you need, you will be better able to advocate for those needs to others.”

Of course, students aren’t born with these skills. Allyson Hyland, Assistant Director of Disability Services at UMass Boston, encourages teens to develop self-advocacy while still in high school. “You will greatly benefit from making the shift in your mind, behavior, and choices toward increased independence and self-advocacy; begin taking on more responsibilities at home and have more control over your own needs and care. Start small if it feels overwhelming, and gradually add things in. Specifically, you will benefit from knowing your diagnosis, treatment plan, and how your disability affects various aspects of your life. Unlike high school, college is going to require that you approach the accessibility office on your own, submit documentation, and have a registration meeting where you are able to describe what you think will

help support you in school and what has worked well in the past. You are expected to work independently with the accessibility office to come up with an accommodation plan. This is a very empowering step! The accommodations process in an employment situation mirrors that of the college process, so navigating this in college is good practice for the work world.”

3. THINK BEYOND DISABILITY SERVICES

The student disability/accessibility office is the ideal place to start for obtaining accommodations. However, as Jeff Edelstein, Student Advocacy Coordinator for the National Center for College Students with Disabilities, reports, “students who struggle to register with their campuses’ offices should know this is not the only way to secure assistance in their courses. Many faculty feel comfortable working out accommodations on an individual basis.”

Annie Tulkin, Founder and Director of Accessible College, LLC, similarly advises students to “talk to their professors, connect with their RA, and take advantage of any academic support the college offers, like the writing center, academic coaches, and tutors.” Tulkin also points out that accommodations can extend beyond the classroom: “Accommodations apply to all areas on campus, including housing and recreation. Students should consider their needs holistically, especially if they plan to live on campus.”

Moreover, there are many services available throughout the university, such as academic advising and career counseling. Elizabeth C. Hamblet, a college learning disabilities specialist, reminds students, “Most colleges have tutoring centers where they can get help with a variety of subjects, and some now offer workshops on time management, organization, etc. Some even offer peer mentors or academic coaching. And there may be a writing center and a math help room. Many colleges also offer mental health counseling, and they may have small groups for students with eating disorders or other issues.”

4. ACCEPT THAT IT’S HARD SOMETIMES

Students “should remember that their classmates are likely feeling a bit insecure and tentative in this new environment, so they’re not alone if they feel that way,” adds Hamblet. “They

should be aware that the environment at college is meant to be different and challenging, so if they’re struggling, it’s not because they don’t belong there. It just means they should seek out some of the supports put in place to help them. They should also avoid falling into a mindset that they’re supposed to be able to do everything on their own without help. Colleges wouldn’t provide all of the supports they do if they didn’t expect students to need them.”

5. EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

Students who have received special education services throughout childhood sometimes feel stigmatized or excluded. They may fantasize about a fresh start in college, where they hope to blend in or assimilate. L. Scott Lissner, Americans with Disabilities Act Coordinator & Section 504 Compliance Officer at The Ohio State University, says, “College offers an opportunity to remake yourself. Many students want to put special education behind them, often for good reasons. The college experience of disability is different; don’t avoid it. Talk to the disability office early, explore disability as part of diversity, as part of identity, as a strength.”

Likewise, Edelstein cautions, “Students may hesitate to register with their disability service offices, even if they had an IEP or similar supports in K-12. Don’t! Even if you don’t think you’ll need them, if you have the resources to register with your institution’s office, make sure to do so. For students who feel bad or guilty about accommodations, treat it like insurance; you hope you don’t need them, but you’d rather have them just in case. Students should also know that use of accommodations is not a personal failure!”

6. CREATE A COMMUNITY

For Edelstein, building a social network is a key part of the self-acceptance process. “Despite the widespread presence of disability services offices, colleges have remarkably few opportunities for students to develop a sense of disabled identity and community. That’s not to say they shouldn’t register with disability services offices—they absolutely should if they can, even as a proactive measure—but being accommodated is different than being accepted. Students should look into clubs, classes on disability studies, or local centers for independent living (or online!) for community. They should also be aware of online communities found on social media like Reddit, Twitter, and Facebook where communal knowledge about disabled experiences in college can be shared widely.”

Hyland also urges students to connect with others. “I strongly encourage students to attend as much as they can various events and sessions around campus, from orientation to information sessions about student groups, etc. Finding a friend group or even one other person who knows you can provide comfort, a resource, and friendship. Don’t count out what you offer, too! You are also a resource for other students who are experiencing college for the first time and could use a friend and classmate to support them.”

7. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Hyland further advises, “Walk around; get a feel for your new learning environment. Some ways to feel confident include preparing well, practicing independence, meeting new people, and knowing that you are a resource and an important part of the campus community, too. You have a unique perspective and life experience—your community benefits from you sharing it! Finally, confidence grows as you widen your perspective on yourself and the world around you, and one

way to do that is to practice seeing things with a fresh lens. Try something new, give yourself a chance to develop parts of yourself, put yourself out there, and know that you are a person of great value.”

The transition to college is undeniably a huge step. But with careful planning, students can build a social and academic support system that will help make college a successful and fulfilling experience.

Eric Endlich, PhD, founder of Top College Consultants®, helps students with learning differences or emotional challenges transition to college. An experienced clinical psychologist, Dr. Endlich is on the advisory board of the Asperger/Autism Network, the Learning Differences/Neurodiversity Committee of the Independent Educational Consultants Association, the health advisory board of Personal Best/Oakstone Publishing, and the editorial board of the International Journal of Rehabilitation and Special Education. A frequent conference presenter and regular contributor to blogs such as CollegeXpress, Dr. Endlich has recently co-written a book, Older Autistic Adults, In Their Own Words. He has taught undergraduate and graduate psychology courses at Boston College, Tufts University, Suffolk University, and UMass/Boston.

Website: https://www.topcollegeconsultants.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/topcollegeconsultants/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TopCollegeConsultants, https://www.facebook.com/groups/1808842799137600

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8vFhAYtle1M5FTATrubAAA

Your Chi ld is Havi ng a Neuro-Crash , Wh at It Is How to Spot It, and Ways to Prevent It

By Raun K. Kaufman

IF YOUR CHILD OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM HAD AN ENTIRE ASPECT OF THEIR EXISTENCE PEOPLE WEREN’T SEEING, WOULD YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT? WHAT IF KNOWING ABOUT IT COULD UNLOCK—AND UNRAVEL—THE MOST CHALLENGING OF YOUR LOVED ONE’S BEHAVIORS, REACTIONS, AND CRISES? WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF NEURO-CRASHES.

What is a Neuro-Crash? It’s what happens when the imposed situation overwhelms your child or adult’s brain, so their coping mechanism shuts down. (We’ll get into why I use the term “imposed situation” in a bit.) You’ve probably had your own version of a Neuro-Crash at some point (many points?) in your life. Have you ever felt so completely overloaded and overwhelmed you just couldn’t take it anymore? Have you ever unexpectedly shut down, burst into tears, or lashed out at someone? These are signs of a brain that has reached its boiling point. A brain that has hit a wall. A brain that has simply had enough.

And guess what? Almost every instance of an extreme behavior or reaction on your child’s part is due to them having a Neuro-Crash. In fact, undiagnosed Neuro-Crashes lead to escalating, ongoing crises in the home and school. Understanding what causes Neuro-Crashes is the only way to prevent them. However, there is an elephant in the room blocking our ability to do this.

The myth: The issue is your child

There is a pervasive misconception that your child or adult

(their autism, their behavior) is the problem. I know it can seem that way to someone looking in from the outside (hint: we’re all looking in from the outside), but that is not what’s actually occurring.

If your child were to start coughing, would you scold them or try to stop the coughing “behavior”? Of course not. Because you know the coughing is the symptom. The cause might be smoke in the air, or it could be an illness. Naturally, you’d then go about addressing that cause so you could help your child. If your child were in a very hot room, and they were shouting to be let out, you would never blame your child for shouting. You’d let them out. But, when it comes to extreme behaviors and reactions of children and adults on the autism spectrum, we’ve been taught to blame the person who is being burned instead of the fire, the person who is covering their ears instead of the siren, the person who is scratching their skin instead of the poison ivy surrounding them.

What do all of these analogies have in common? They are all situations in which the person’s reaction isn’t the problem; it’s the signal of the problem. We are often encouraged to stamp out the symptom, rather than understand and address the underlying issue. This leads us to focus on the effect instead of the cause.

Hitting, yelling, having a meltdown, swearing, inconsolable crying, expressing high anxiety, exhibiting extreme behaviors—these are what’s happening on the outside. On the inside…is a Neuro-Crash. Your loved one’s brain has reached critical overload, and the less extreme things they would normally do to cope and process (stimming, putting their hands over their ears, withdrawing, making certain sounds or movements, doing something that’s comforting/enjoyable) are no longer working, or are being actively thwarted by us.

So, rather than attacking our loved one’s cries for help, what if we could circumvent the very factors driving them over the edge in the first place? If we want to disarm the triggers setting our kids and adults off, we have to know what they are.

The seven causes of Neuro-Crashes are…

1. Being around an adult/parent/caregiver/educator who is agitated

2. Being pushed (particularly when a “No” is not respected or when they are being rushed)

3. Invasion of personal space (being too close, hugging them, picking them up, moving them, or taking their stuff without their permission)

4. Sensory overload

5. Unpredictability (we often act in unpredictable ways, don’t we?)

6. Unclear boundaries (we may change rules, make excep¬tions, etc.)

7. Bio-Storms (when something is introduced to a child or adult’s extra sensitive system—a food item, a chemical, etc.—that causes a temporary but powerful physiological reaction)

Remember the term “imposed situation” from earlier? That refers to the environments or conditions our children or adults are exposed to—usually beyond their choosing. These seven items constitute imposed situations that make it diffi¬cult or impossible for our loved ones to function. Your child is not the problem. The imposed situation is the problem. Only by correctly diagnosing the problem can we solve it. And if we solve the problem, the signal and symptoms disappear.

Solving the real problem

My colleague, Kate C. Wilde, and I developed five Crisis Turnaround Tools to precisely address these root causes of Neuro-Crashes. While they are comprised of many layers (Kate and I teach a course that spends two hours on each of them), there are steps and approaches you can begin taking right now:

• Step 1: Start practicing a skill we call “Socioception,” which is the ability to detect your loved one’s stress signals. Become a detective and hone your observational skills. Look for signs your child or adult’s stress levels are rising. Are they saying “No” a lot? Are their facial muscles tightening? Are they moving away from you? Are they pushing you away? If they are more verbal, is the pitch of their voice rising, or is the pace of their speech speeding up?

• Step 2: Look for any opportunities you can to end or avoid control battles by giving your child more autonomy. Is it that important they sit at the table with everyone when they eat? Is it crucial they wear the blue shirt you picked out and not the red one they love? If there is something problematic they keep getting into (eating all the ice cream in the freezer, for instance), can you avoid that battle by not buying it at all? Every control battle avoided is a Neuro-Crash averted.

• Step 3: Our loved ones on the spectrum are highly sensitive to our emotional state and level of agitation. Do whatever you have to do to show calmness. If you are agitated—whether it’s because you’re frustrated with what your child is doing or upset about something else—that will trigger an escalation in your child or adult’s emotional agitation, and that’s a fast-track to a Neuro-Crash.

• Step 4: There are myriad factors outside our direct relationship with our children and adults on the spectrum that can nevertheless trigger Neuro-Crashes. Today,

let’s just take a baby step. Can you make your home environment less intrusive from a sensory standpoint? Is there background noise (lots of people talking, music not chosen by your child, someone talking loudly on the phone, a TV on in the living room, etc.) you can eliminate or tone down? What you might call making your home more “boring” might actually be, to your loved one, making your home more welcoming, comforting, and low stress.

• Step 5: What can get overlooked in our efforts to sidestep Neuro-Crashes are the positive moves we can make. Creating fun, enjoyable moments with our loved ones on the spectrum is key. Playing a game they love, giving them a deep pressure massage, showing interest in their interests, and showing appreciation and celebration can act as a kind of inoculation against Neuro-Crashes by building trust and acclimating their brain to a state other than fight-or-flight survival mode.

A special connection

I’ve been where your loved one is, so I know what they are capable of if approached in a way that goes with their specialness, not against it. As a child, I was diagnosed with severe autism. I had no language and was completely enveloped in my own world. My parents were told I had an IQ below 30 and would need to be permanently institutionalized when I got older.

My parents turned their backs on those prognoses. To help me, they created The Son-Rise Program® and worked with me one-on-one for over three years. Their work enabled me to blossom into a very social, highly communicative boy and conquer my challenges.

Rather than trying to force me to conform to a world I did not yet understand, they joined me in my world first. Instead of stamping out my so-called symptoms, they sought to address what was going on underneath. So, my own life is a testament to the value of listening to the person’s signals, looking for root causes, seeking to understand, and creating a universe in which people on the spectrum are embraced. That’s a world

where, no matter where they’re starting from, your loved one can thrive.

An international lecturer and graduate of the Ivy League’s Brown University with a degree in Biomedical Ethics, Raun K. Kaufman is the author of the book Autism Breakthrough and the co-creator of the ACT (Autism Crisis Turnaround) protocol, which pioneered the concept of the Neuro-Crash. The former CEO of an international autism training non-profit, Raun has spent more than 25 years developing innovative heart-led autism approaches built around a true understanding the autistic brain, nervous system, psyche, and experience and has worked with families and educators from over 100 different countries. As a child, he was diagnosed with so-called “severe” (non-speaking) autism and recommended for lifelong institutionalization. Instead, his parents worked with him in a totally new way they developed, enabling him to blossom, grow, and, ultimately, accomplish everything his parents were promised he would not. A best-selling book and award-winning television movie were made about his journey. He has been interviewed by media such as National Public Radio, BBC Television, Fox News Channel, The London Telegraph, and People Magazine.

Website: www.raunkkaufman.com

Three Tips for Helping an Exceptional Child Communicate About Their Day at School

By Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS

ONE OF THE MOST CHALLENGING THINGS FOR ANY PARENT IS WHEN A CHILD CANNOT COMMUNICATE WHAT HAPPENED DURING THE SCHOOL DAY. THIS MEANS YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TAKE WHATEVER INFORMATION IS GIVEN AT FACE VALUE, AND ALL TOO OFTEN, SIGNIFICANT DETAILS ARE LEFT OUT. IT’S BECOMING INCREASINGLY COMMON TO HEAR STORIES ON THE EVENING NEWS ABOUT ABUSED CHILDREN OR KIDS WANDERING OFF IN SITUATIONS WHERE THEY LACK COMMUNICATION SKILLS. THIS IS MANY PARENTS’ BIGGEST NIGHTMARE.

However, you can proactively do things to help your child communicate what happened when you are not there, especially if there is an autism diagnosis. By implementing the three strategies we discuss in this article, you can have more peace of mind knowing you are doing all you can to keep your child safe.

STRATEGY ONE Introduce a school story template

A social story is traditionally used to teach a child how to respond in a social situation. However, a modified “social story” can be used as a way for your child to tell you what happened in their day. It can help them identify events they need assistance with, and it can also give you insights as to how things went during the school day.

You can do this by creating a story template that prompts your child to “fill in the blank.” This makes their response easy and may encourage them to share information they might not have been able to otherwise.

An example could be, “Every day, I take the bus to school. Today on the bus, I felt _____” or “During recess today, I played with _____ “ or “During math time today, Mr./Mrs. Teacher’s Name said I did a _____ job. This made them feel _____.” Another useful prompt when using a social story is to include a section that asks a child what the best and worst part of their day was.

At first, this may be challenging for your child to complete and understand, but if you practice it daily, they will learn what is expected of them, and you will gain valuable insight into their day.

STRATEGY TWO Use visuals or a communication device

Sometimes, using visuals will help a child communicate more effectively. Some children, especially those with autism, may not be able to communicate verbally, and this can be very frustrating for

you both. A communication device, such as a picture board or iPad, can help your child express themselves in ways that they cannot do otherwise. This will enable them to share their feelings and thoughts about the day even when they cannot verbally express themselves.

For example, you could say, “Tell me about your day at school,” and show pictures of them or generic visuals depicting feeling happy, sad, angry, etc.

Then they can point to how they felt in school today or respond using an iPad application. You can repeat this exercise by asking, “Who did you play with today?” and showing photos of their friends. Or you can ask, “What did you do today in school?” and show them pictures of activities.

One thing that can be a downside to using an iPad or choice board is the lack of responses. However, while your child will only respond with pre-set answers, it’s better than you asking them vocally and getting nothing in return!

STRATEGY THREE

Use an “emotion thermometer”

Many children focus on one small thing during school, which can be very misleading. For example, your child might have had a great day in school, but right before dismissal, the teacher asked them to sit down, and they came home crying, saying

that their teacher yelled at them. That is because due to poor executive functioning skills, many children with autism struggle with gradients of emotions.

The emotion thermometer is a simple way to help your child understand how they are feeling and that some things may make them very happy/angry or a little happy/angry. The best way to teach this is to get an abacus like the one pictured above. For example, if your child said they are angry or that their teacher was mean, you could use the beads to have your child demonstrate whether their teacher was a little bit angry or very angry. This can help you understand the context of what happened and help your child realize and process their emotions. Use this strategy by talking about it beforehand and then demonstrating it together when you are ready, so your child understands why they are using it. This will give you a much better understanding of what took place in school.

Not all special needs children are able to communicate what happened throughout their school day. However, there are things you can do proactively to help your child connect more effectively and help you understand their world better. By implementing the preceding three strategies, you will gain better insight into your child’s school day and will gain more peace of mind.

REFERENCES:

Development and Psychopathology 18 ~2006!, 591–617 Copyright © 2006 Cambridge University Press Printed in the United States of America DOI: 10.10170S0954579406060305

Gray, C. (2000). The new social story book: Illustrated edition. Arlington, TX: Future Horizons.

Marjorie Solomon, Executive Function (EF), Encyclopedia of Autism Spectrum Disorders, 10.1007/978-3-319-91280-6, (1877-1880), (2021).

Jessica Leichtweisz, MPS, is the founder of Hope Education Services and is passionate about helping parents understand their children with autism. She authored the Amazon number one bestselling book This is Autism and has been quoted in several major media outlets including The New York Times, Forbes, and MSN. Jessica completed a master’s degree in Special Education from Manhattanville College and did her post-graduate studies in Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) at Kaplan University. Jessica has been working with children with autism since 2008.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopeeducationservices

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopeeducationservices/

How Can I Help My Child with ASD Better Connect with His Peers?

By Kate C. Wilde

HELLO EVERYONE! I DEDICATE THIS ARTICLE TO A DEAR, DEAR FRIEND AND COLLEAGUE, WILLIAM JOHN HOGAN, WHO PASSED AWAY SEVERAL YEARS AGO. HE WAS A GIFTED SON-RISE PROGRAM® TEACHER WHO WORKED WITH THOUSANDS OF FAMILIES AND CHILDREN ON THE SPECTRUM AND A TRUE FRIEND TO ME.

Ilook forward to supporting you, reading your questions, and learning the stories from your life. Please keep them coming in. The new year brings a lot of pressure to make resolutions, change, and embark on our bucket lists or unrealized dreams. For me, I have only one wish for all of you walking your journeys with your exceptional loved ones—to know today and each day that:

• Whatever happened or did not happen, it was enough.

• Whatever you did or did not do, you did enough.

• When at last you turn off the light and rest your weary head against the pillow, you can kindly say to yourself, “Today I was enough.”

With that sentiment in the forefront of my mind, I chose the question below to answer in detail because I think it will help all of us in the exceptional needs community, not just those on the spectrum.

Elsa from Sweden asks: “My seven-year-old son on the spectrum seems really interested in playing with his peers. However, when he is around children either at a park or a birthday party, or his cousins at home, he will just watch from the sidelines. This confuses me because he is highly verbal and easily talks to me. How do I help him take that next step to connect?”

Hi Elsa, thanks for writing into the magazine—I love to get questions from all parts of the world! I have observed many children and adults on the spectrum doing just this. One thing you might notice is he most likely does this with adults as well as children. You may observe it more with children because children can be very unpredictable, much more so than adults. That can make children much harder to approach and talk to than adults.

You ask how you can help him connect more with his peers. You can do that by strengthening his ability to physically participate in an interaction. By physically participate, I mean his ability to take part in a game with an action consistently. Examples of this are:

• Taking turns in a card game by picking up or putting down a card

• Pretending to blow out candles on a cake

• Drawing part of a picture with someone

• Pretending to be driving a car by moving his hands as if he is holding a steering wheel

• Handing you a toy

• Holding a bubble stick and blowing a bubble

Taking physical action interactively in a game can be challenging for most children and adults on the spectrum, but for our more highly verbal children, it can be easily overlooked as a challenge. I say overlooked because when you are busy talking to one another, it is easy to miss that talking is your primary way to connect. When most neurotypical seven-yearolds get together they talk, of course, but a large part of their

connection with one another is through physical participation games. Similarly, for children or adults who have yet to speak, we can become, understandably, hyper-focused on asking them to speak, skipping the simple act of helping them physically participate in an interaction.

Elsa, as you think about this you may think, “Well, he can already do the things mentioned above.” It is not about whether he is capable of them; it is about the consistency and speed with which he is able to show up and physically participate. His peers can participate at a speed that usually leaves neurodivergent children out of the play arena. Focus on helping him do it more of the time. First, help him raise his consistency and speed of participation with just you. He may then get the confidence to do it with his peers.

You can do that by:

1. Celebrating all the times he does physically participate in an interaction

Celebrate all the little times he does this throughout your day together. If he hands you a chip bag to open or gives you his school backpack, that is him physically engaging in an interaction—celebrate him! Tell him how much you love it when he gives you things. If he acts out something like a scene from a movie or pretends to be an animal, let him know how awesome he is at it. These celebrations will highlight what you want him to do more of, and it will help him gain confidence in his ability to participate in the interaction.

2. Being a model for him

When you are chatting together, add in a physical element. For example, if he is excited to talk to you about dinosaurs, become a dinosaur as you talk about them. If you are talking about a character from a story, get a book about that character and open up a page to a picture of the character. If you are talking about going to the store tomorrow, or a time you have already been, pretend to get in a car and drive there. You are making the conversation come alive by acting it out in some way.

3.

Initiate a physical game instead of a conversation

When he is making eye contact with you (which is often an indication that he may be available to interact for a little bit), instead of asking him a question or connecting with him through words, just start a physical game. For example, you could:

• Pick up bat and ball and start bouncing the ball on the bat

• Get a puppet and pretend it is eating some of the other stuffed animals or eating pretend food and spitting it out

• Pick up a jump rope and start skipping

• Get a board game and start setting it up

Focus on the fun of the action. Fun is the reason he will get involved in the game and be inspired to come back for more.

Show him how fun the game is by throwing yourself into it with everything you’ve got. In the Son-Rise Program® we call this “Entertaining.” Think of it like you are a movie he is watching. A movie does not ask him, you, or anybody to participate. It is just something you enjoy watching. Be his “living movie” for at least two minutes. If he is still looking at you after those two minutes, ask him to physically participate in the game you just presented. Taking the ideas listed above, you could:

• Give him the ball and ask him to drop it onto the racket

• Pick up a piece of pretend food to feed the puppet

• Hand him the jump rope to try skipping

• Ask him to play a turn for his favorite stuffed animal

If he does what you ask, give him a big, sweet celebration. Let him know how wonderful it is when he plays this way with you. If he does not do it, that is okay. Do not push him. If he is still looking at you, continue to play and ask again a little bit later.

Once he gets stronger at physically participating in a game with you, you can invite one of his cousins over for a very short

practice play date. By short, I meant just 30 minutes. Talk to your son about a game you can all play together. Give him a choice of three you know he likes and can easily do. It might be a choice between working on a puzzle, playing catch, or playing his favorite board game. When the cousin comes over, you spend 15 minutes playing the chosen game, then 15 minutes having a snack and chatting. That’s it. I am a great fan of doing play dates in shorts bursts so they can end on a note of success. Sometimes when things are going well, we tend to extend the time, and then we push past what is comfortable for our children. This creates stress. Once the 30-minute play dates are easy for your son, you can extend them to 45 minutes, then an hour, and so forth.

Don’t forget to send in your questions; you can do so here at submissions@exceptionalneedstoday.com. I wish you a wonderful start to your year! Have the best time playing with and enjoying your beautiful loved ones. See you in March!

Kate C. Wilde has spent the past 30 years working with children and adults on the autism spectrum and their families, as well as with therapists, educators, and schools. She is the author of the acclaimed books, Autistic Logistics: A Parent’s Guide to Tackling Bedtime, Toilet Training, Tantrums, Hitting, and Other Everyday Challenges and The Autism Language Launcher: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Child Turn Sounds and Words into Simple

Conversations, and is renowned for the well-attended courses she teaches throughout the US, Europe, and Asia. Her YouTube autism quick tip videos, delivered with her trademark infectious enthusiasm, have garnered a following worldwide.

Websites: https://www.katecwilde.com/, https://www.autismcrisisturnaround.com/

ARE YOU IN SEARCH OF PERSONALIZED EXPERT GUIDANCE?

Sendusyourparentingquestions,woes,concerns,andtricky situations with your beautiful, exceptional children. This includes all you amazing professionals out there. Kate will answer up to five questions in every issue in her Kate Makes it Great! column. Kate has worked with children and adults on thespectrumforthepast30years.Shehasclockedmorethan 20,000therapyhoursandhasworkedwithwellover1,500differentchildren.Whateveryouarefacingtoday,Katehasmost likelyexperienceditinsomeform.Heranswerswillbepractical, doable, inspiring, optimistic, down to earth, and real. Togetherthereisnothingwecannotfacewithalittlejoyandlove.

Submityourquestionsto: submissions@exceptionalneedstoday. com

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The Difference Between IEP Goals and IEP

Objectives

ByCarlyQuinlan

Individualized Education Programs (IEP) Goals and IEP Objectives are terms that can often get mixed up when planning and discussing student progress. But there is a difference between the two. There is also a difference between IEP objectives and state learning standard objectives.Let’sdiginabitmorewithalltheseterms:

IEP annual goal

This is the overall skill the student should achieve by the end of the IEP year (one year from the start date of the IEP, NOT from the start date of the school year). The IEP goal can then be broken down into either short-term objectives

or benchmarks as a way to gauge a student’s progress.

IEP short-term objectives

Short-term objectives are one way to break down the overall goal into smaller steps or skills, often in a hierarchical order. Once a student accomplishes all the objectives within the goal, they will have achieved the overall goal.

For example, if the overall goal is for a student to demonstrate increased counting skills to 10 with 80% accuracy, a teacher might break the goal down into smaller objectives or steps, such as:

1. Rote count to 10, with 80% accuracy

2. Demonstrate one to one correspondence while counting, assigning one number per object to 10, with 80% accuracy

3. Connect the number counted to represent “how many” in a set of 10, with 80% accuracy

Notice the performance criteria of 80% accuracy remained the same, but the skill was built upon in a hierarchical sequence.

IEP benchmarks

IEP benchmarks are another way to break down an IEP goal further. Benchmarks set performance level marks that allow for sequential measurement of progress. Benchmarks can break down the performance level of the IEP goal into more numerical steps, such as increasing the percentage accuracy or trials and aligning those expectations to be reached by the reporting periods of progress (i.e., by month, quarter, trimester, semester, etc.). Benchmarks serve as a measurement of how far a student is in the process of achieving the overall goal. This helps determine if the student is on track to meet the goal by the end of the IEP year (which is one of the important factors in determining ESY eligibility and/or eligibility for an increase in service minutes during the IEP year via an amendment).

For example, IEP benchmarks for a goal may be broken down into the following increments (pending present level baseline data):

• 20% accuracy by Quarter One

• 40% accuracy by Quarter Two

• 60% accuracy by Quarter Three

• 80% accuracy by Quarter Four

State learning standard objective

These are the skill codes used to guide grade-level instruction according to the state’s learning standards. The objectives are the skills within each learning standard. Every IEP goal should be connected back to a state’s learning standard and objective code(s) for that grade level.

• SMART format

Goals should be written according to the SMART acronym, which stands for: Specific, Measurable, Achievable/Action, Realistic, Timely. The use of short-term objectives or benchmarks help goals to fit the SMART format. The use of SMART format for IEP goal writing is considered “best practice”.

• Best practice

Professional measures that are most effective, backed by research or experience

• Present level statement for an IEP goal

This is the statement that identifies how the student is currently functioning and how it impacts their progress in the general education curriculum and/ or functional performance. This data determines the starting point of the goal as a baseline. Rate of past progress in the present level statement can help gauge how to write the new goal to make it achievable and realistic as part of SMART format/ best practice. For past goals that are unachieved or continue to be built upon from year to year, it is important to include old goal progress data for that skill area. Including past progress in the present level statement greatly assists in the re-writing of a new goal to make it more appropriate.

Based on updates to the federal law of the Individuals With Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), benchmarks or short-term objectives are now only required for “children with disabilities who take alternate assessments aligned to alternate academic achievement standards” (Source: https://sites.ed.gov/idea/).* However, many states, such as Illinois, still require the use of benchmarks and short-term objectives at the state level.*

Despite IDEA’s statement on this, it is also considered “best practice” for IEP goals to be written in SMART format: Specific, Measurable, Achievable/Action, Realistic, Timely. One way to do this is by breaking the goal down into specific steps via benchmarks or short-term objectives. If you are presented with draft IEP goals that do not include this, it would be a reasonable request to have the goals rewritten to fit more of a SMART format through the use of benchmarks or short-term objectives. Remember, the use of either IEP short-term objectives or benchmarks within IEP goals are going to help you gauge your child’s progress on each IEP goal. No matter what your state’s stance is on the use of these tools, most dedicated professionals would be happy to make this edit for your child if you know to ask!

*Disclaimer: I am NOT a lawyer. I am a non-lawyer advocate and therefore do not provide legal advice/services.

Carly Quinlan is the owner of IEP Consulting, LLC. With eight years of experience as a special education teacher and IEP case manager, and as a sibling of a brother with Down syndrome and autism, she has a unique perspective and knowledge base of the world of IEPs. She has experience and training in Applied Behavior Analysis, Behavior Intervention Plans, advocacy training in special education law as a non-lawyer advocate, as well as ongoing professional development. With many years of experience on both sides of an IEP table and “behind the scenes” of special education services, she can help you navigate the IEP process, ensuring your concerns are heard and addressed through negotiations with the school team. Services include phone consultations, report review, letter writing, meeting preparation assistance, and IEP meeting participation.

Website: https://iepconsultingllc.blogspot.com

Email: IEPconsultingLLC@gmail.com

My Child With Special Needs Believes Their Teacher Doesn’t Like Them

By Dr. Ronald I. Malcolm

Having your child tell you their teacher doesn’t like them can be tough. No parent wants to hear this comment from their child. Such a statement can cause panic in the heart of any parent. Rather than react hastily, it is important to remain calm and try to advocate for your child in a professional manner.

Here are 10 simple suggestions to consider when following up on your child’s comment:

1. Listen to your child

As your child with a disability expresses themselves, it is essential you listen carefully to them. Take notes on what your child is telling you if possible. Your notes may be something you will need to refer to at another point in time. As your child shares their concern, you need to remain calm and composed, so they don’t shut down as they begin to explain themselves. Your child will watch you and likely copy or cater to your reactions. Children need to feel comfortable expressing themselves to their guardians without fear of being punished or judged.

2. Validate their feelings

As your child continues to express their feelings, it is crucial that you don’t overreact. Continue to listen. It may be challenging not to become reactive. However, your child needs to know you value and appreciate their ability to share feelings. They may be more likely to continue the conversation if you continue to listen and not react actively. Remember to thank your child for sharing this information with you. This is not the time to determine if the information is accurate. It is simply a time to listen to your child’s perspective.

3. Talk to your child’s teacher

Your child may be apprehensive about you talking to their teacher. They may fear the teacher will dislike them even more or worsen the situation. Despite this, it is important to speak to the classroom teacher to allow them to have a voice. Regardless of whether the situation is true, everyone needs to be aware of the child’s perception. Work together with your child’s teacher to develop a plan to deal with this situation sensibly and immediately.

4. Talk to your school principal

The placement of children with disabilities into regular education classrooms has certainly come a long way in the past 40 years. Previously, most children with disabilities were placed in separate educational settings. If, after talking with your child’s teacher, you believe a problem exists between them and your child, you may need to have the school principal intervene. Making your child’s principal aware of this possible concern can assist with the situation being monitored during the school day.

5. Talk to the Director of Special Education

The situation between your child and their classroom teacher can be resolved with some simple interventions. However, sometimes more profound interventions may be necessary. Your child’s perceptions may be correct, and the teacher may not feel comfortable with your child’s disability. The teacher may have had a negative interaction with someone with a similar disability in the past and is projecting their feelings on your child. Your child’s teacher may feel ill-prepared for how to interact or work effectively with your child’s circumstances. The local Director of Special Education can assist by directing both you and the classroom teacher towards some resources that can help the teacher with obtaining the necessary skills

to work with your child effectively. The Director of Special Education can also begin to research in-service training that could improve the general education teacher’s relationship with your child.

6. Meet with the school counselor

Whether your child’s perceptions of how their classroom teacher thinks are correct or not, it is still how they feel. Most children with disabilities spend more time during their day with their classroom teacher than they do with their parents/caregivers. Therefore, their overall academic, social, behavioral, and emotional skills could be negatively impacted if they are involved in an educational environment where they feel disliked or overlooked. A school counselor could set up sessions with your child to teach them coping skills and how to enhance their self-advocacy skills regarding how to effectively deal with their perceptions or issues surrounding their own disability.

7. Call for an IEP meeting

Your child may have an Individualized Education Program (IEP) at their school. This means they have access to a team of professionals that have a vested interest in their educational success during their school day. The team must be aware of your child’s feelings. Together, all these professionals can brainstorm how better to assist both your child and the classroom teacher. As a parent, if you feel uncomfortable addressing this issue alone at an IEP meeting, request an advocate accompany you to the meeting. Some organizations can provide an advocate at no cost to assist you at your child’s IEP meeting.

8. Involve yourself in the school

As an effective advocate for your child with a disability, your presence at the school can become vital. You could volunteer to be a room parent, assist on the playground, join the PTA, sponsor a club, sport, or after-school activity, or even observe in your child’s classroom. The point of observing in the classroom is not to cause a disruption or stress out the classroom teacher. Instead, this may give you a better idea of why your child may feel disliked by the classroom teacher. Most schools require a 24-hour notice that you plan to observe in your child’s classroom, so you need to prepare. Being actively engaged and visible at your child’s school could make a positive impact.

9. Seek outside counseling

Your child may perceive the feelings of their teacher in error. If this is the case, your child may require counseling support and services outside the school environment. Work with your child’s pediatrician and a mental health professional to address their feelings and perceptions.

10. Requesting a new teacher

If it is determined that your child’s perception of their classroom teacher is indeed accurate, then you may have to work with the school principal to address this issue directly. No child should have to endure a classroom environment where the educator dislikes them. Your last effort to ensure your child’s mental health and preserve their self-esteem may lead you to request a change in the educator working with your child. The main person involved in assisting in making this change will be your child’s school principal. Involving them early in this process will help you and your child with a disability.

Dr. Ronald I. Malcolm, EdD, is an Assistant Director of Special Education for a public school district, an Associate Faculty Member with the University of Phoenix, and a Special Graduate Faculty member at the University of Kansas. He has bachelor’s level degrees in English and Special Education. He holds master’s level degrees in Counseling, Special Education, and School Administration. His doctorate degree is from Northern Arizona University in Educational Leadership. His post-graduate degrees are in Positive Behavior Supports and Autism Spectrum Disorders. He has worked for the past 37 years with students between the ages of three to 21 with various healthrelated concerns in both school and community-based settings.

Bridging the Gap

Between Special Education Teachers and Families

By Rebekah Poe

THE WORLD OF SPECIAL EDUCATION CAN SOMETIMES BE DIFFICULT TO NAVIGATE. THERE ARE NATIONAL LAWS, DISTRICT PROCEDURES, AND SCHOOL PROCEDURES THAT MUST BE FOLLOWED, BUT THEY MIGHT NOT ALWAYS MAKE SENSE WITHOUT EXPLANATION. THAT IS WHY COLLABORATION AND COMMUNICATION ARE KEY.

Special education dialogue in meetings can involve a plethora of acronyms, laws, and educational terms that general education teachers and families don’t necessarily use every day. This might mean they aren’t as familiar with them.

Think about it—special education teachers are working day in and day out with the terms and acronyms related to Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings and different education-related laws. But, for those team members with limited experience using them, it can be overwhelming. That’s why it is imperative to have good collaboration and communication partnerships between general education teachers and special education teachers, as well as between teachers and student families.

There are a couple of common barriers when trying to form a truly unified IEP team. Often, a disconnect occurs when one of two things happens: there is a lack of communication or there is a misunderstanding between team members. Either of these could occur between the educators and the family, or it could even occur between the general and special education teachers themselves.

General education teachers and special education teachers must work together to support students in all school environments. This means being able to communicate effectively. If a special education teacher is rattling off acronyms and different laws, it could leave a general education teacher feeling overwhelmed and lost. The same goes for students’ families. During IEP meetings, there tends to be a lot of educational jargon said, and even if a particular student’s family has been involved in the IEP process for a while now, that doesn’t always mean they know exactly what each acronym and law means.

So, what are some solutions to these issues? First, it is important to make sure everyone knows how the meeting will be run and what the specific terms and acronyms being used mean. It is also useful to assure the whole team that everyone present is attending for the good of the student. These are all essential aspects of a truly unified IEP team. How can we make sure all team members are set up for success?

1. Take time at the beginning of the meeting to review its purpose. Is it to create a new IEP or amend the current one? Is the meeting intended to go over test results, change a student’s placement, or determine eligibility? Make sure the purpose of the meeting is clear to all members of the team.

2. Have a meeting agenda where you go over what will be discussed. Make sure you have plenty of time allotted for students’ families to give information and feedback.

3. Before diving into the meeting, take some time to go over terms that will likely be used. For example, does

everyone on your team know the difference between accommodations and modifications? How about the definition of a Least Restrictive Environment (LRE)? Going over these terms and acronyms will help the other members of your team not feel like you’re speaking a second language.

Increasing communication and understanding will increase collaboration among the IEP team, ensuring the student receives the best possible outcome.

Rebekah Poe, MA, MEd, is an award-winning special education teacher and national teaching conference presenter with over a decade of experience in the special education field. As an educator, Rebekah focuses on providing equitable education and establishing connections to students of all ability levels in an inclusive setting.

Website: www.RebekahPoeTeaching.com

How to Talk to Your Child About Bullying

By Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW

“Hey, fat boy!” Those words resonate with a sickening echo over the backdrop of my pleasant middle school memories. Many of us can recall the shadow of our bullies in the existence of our academic experiences, and these never fade entirely with time. In recent years, with the increase of school violence and youth suicide, schools have turned an important eye towards the harmful effects of bullying. Bullying can no longer be the “rite of passage” that was an informal initiation to the full educational experience.

Talking to our children about bullying early is vital to preserve their school experience, maintain their mental health, and enhance their self-esteem. The following are some thoughts to help along that road:

1. TALK CALMLY AND WITHOUT EXCESSIVE EMOTIONS

Children associate emotional parents with upset parents and think they have done something wrong. As a result, they will close down and not share further information on bullying for fear of upsetting their parents.

2. ADDRESS THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TATTLING ON A PEER AND TELLING

Bullying is often preserved under a veil of secrecy and fear that tattling will lead to peer ridicule. It is important to distinguish that bullying is a responsibility that must be deferred to adults to address immediately and always.

3. IF IT’S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS

Bullies often use targets as messengers for those actions they

do not want to carry out themselves directly. Therefore, encourage your children not to carry verbal messages from other peers.

4. USE APPS TO MONITOR MOBILE COMMUNICATION

The majority of bullying now takes place via the internet on mobile devices. For a nominal fee, you can track texts and social media interactions if needed. Additionally, software filters can avoid potential sites of cyberbullying.

5. DISCUSS DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP AND SAFETY

We all try to teach our children a basic level of street smarts and the dangers of the world around them. It is important to have a list of rules for digital citizenship usage in your family and that the use of technology is a privilege, not a right.

6. TEACH ASSERTIVENESS

Our children all span a range between passive to aggressive. The vast majority of our children fall in the middle or towards the passive side. The goal is to be somewhere in the middle (in the assertiveness range) of responding to conflict. If someone

is bothering them, it requires a three-step process: saying how you feel, why you feel that way, and what you need to solve the problem.

Teach children no one can read their thoughts, so they have to express them and a suggestion to solve the problem.

7. DEVELOP SKILLS TO HANDLE CONFLICT

The more tools a child has, the more they are able to handle

potential issues. Encourage being able to walk away from conflict, moving towards playing with peers who prove to be kind. Do not continue to try to play with those who do not play well with you. When you are angry, walk away and cool down.

8. TEACH THEM NOT TO BE A MESSENGER OF BULLYING

The old adage holds true. Ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it true? Should you say it? Would that make your mom, dad, teacher, and yourself proud?

As our children grow, they will face life experiences that will be challenging and difficult. But, with the help of parents and other adults they trust, it will build character and strength. Nothing offers more pride than seeing our children grow and develop into their own unique person.

Brett J. Novick, MS, LMFT, CSSW, holds a master’s degree in Family Therapy and post-degree certification in Social Work and Educational Administration. He is currently earning his doctorate in Education. He has worked as a school social worker/ counselor for the last 20 years and is an adjunct instructor at Rutgers University and Stockton Universities. Brett has been a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice while also serving in community mental health and substance abuse settings over the last two decades. Additionally, he has supervised in family counseling, school counseling, centers for abused and neglected children, and centers for adults and children with developmental disabilities. He has also been a licensed foster parent. Brett has authored eight educational, children’s, and self-help books. He has written for several national educational, parenting, and mental health magazines as well. He has presented nationally on the subjects of child behavior, education, and mental health. He has been humbled with awards for his work in education—the NJEA Martin Luther King Jr. Human and Civil Rights Award as well as the NJ Council on Developmental Disabilities Educator of the Year Award, the NJ State Governor’s Office Jefferson Award for Public Service, and District’s Teacher of the Year and Ocean County Counselor of the Year.

Website: https://www.brettsbooks.com/

Why College Students with Disabilities Need to Connect with Faculty

By Toby Tomlinson Baker, PhD

THINK OF YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER. THEY INSPIRED YOU, SUPPORTED YOUR DREAMS, AND ALLOWED YOU TO BE YOURSELF. THEY HELPED YOU WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING TO LEARN SOMETHING DIFFICULT. YOU PROBABLY IMAGINED THEM GOING TO COLLEGE WITH YOU AND TEACHING YOU EVERY COURSE YOU TAKE. YET, WHEN YOU GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL AND STARTED COLLEGE, YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER WAS NOT THERE ANYMORE.

For post-secondary students with disabilities, meeting new faculty, particularly professors with PhDs, can be daunting. The last thing these students want to do is introduce themselves by saying, “Hi. I’m Joe. I have a learning disability and ADHD, and I’m in your class.” Certainly, for a student with disabilities (SWD), there are more effective ways to communicate their needs.

Some freshmen with disabilities tend to conceal them in the hopes of being viewed no differently from any other student.

Many post-secondary SWDs face new academic challenges such as varied schedules, time management, and seeking out assistance from faculty independently.

Even if every other step goes as planned when SWDs go to college, they face the barrier of the stigma associated with having a disability. Since many post-secondary SWDs yearn to avoid negative interactions with faculty, they hold back on asking for assistance. In addition, they may fear faculty predetermine a lower grade for an SWD, assuming they are simply a C student.

Support from higher education faculty is crucial to post-secondary SWDs’ academic success. This is a complex issue in higher education. Some faculty say they have positive interactions with post-secondary SWDs, yet the students may not agree. In fact, sometimes post-secondary SWDs feel faculty believed them to be incompetent or that they should not be enrolled in school. Other post-secondary SWDs feel many professors do not know how to instruct them properly or provide their accommodations.

SWDs may succeed in concealing their disability in some circles and even escape the negative effects of the stigma attached with their disability. It can feel like they have outgrown their disability, which is not true. This may lead them to deny they need academic assistance, which can backfire in the end.

So how do post-secondary SWDs connect with faculty?

The first step is for SWDs to register with academic services or the accessibility department. Ask campus officers about various faculty members. An SWD could ask, “So Dr. Smith is teaching my Ethics 101 course. Can you tell me about Dr. Smith? What is she like?” Being informed about their future professors can put an SWD at ease, particularly while they complete the campus process of informing their future professors about their disability.

Next, reach out to each professor via a brief phone call, email, or short office meeting. An SWD can say, “Hi, I’m Amy. I just wanted to make sure you received the letter regarding my accommodations.” (Never say “my disability.”) Then, tell the professor about YOU and your achievements, not your disability. “I am interested in this class because…” Let the professor know you are there to learn. You are not expected to know everything.

Establish a growth-oriented mindset and practice humility. And ask your professors questions like “Where are you from?” or “Why did you choose this textbook?” and listen to the answers. This will often allow them to be open with you.

Post-secondary students with disabilities who connect with faculty will often have a greater college experience. Start slow and have one or two positive interactions with faculty. Simply talking to a professor and having coffee with them can allow for an SWD to have the feeling of success. Some SWDs

tend to feel like they have less of a disability when they connect on a deeper, more meaningful level with higher education faculty. These successful moments may eventually lead to greater academic success in college and an authentic mentorship between the SWD and their faculty.

As a researcher at Pepperdine University, Toby Tomlinson Baker earned a PhD focusing on higher education faculty training, self-advocacy for students with disabilities, and policy reform. She has 12 years of experience as a Special Education Instructor and currently teaches with the Los Angeles Unified School District. She is a certified Trainer of Teachers for the district. She is also the recipient of the Learning Disability Association’s (LDA) 2020 Harrison Sylvester Award and CHADD’s 2018 National Educator of the Year.

Website: https://tobytomlinsonbaker.net/

Let’s Use the Resources We Already Have to Support Exceptional Needs Students

By Karen Kaplan

THERE IS A GREAT DEAL OF DISCUSSION AROUND THE CHANGE IN INSURANCE COVERAGE FOR BEHAVIOR SPECIALISTS’ ASSISTANTS, IN HOMES AND IN THE CLASSROOM, THESE DAYS. APPARENTLY, SOME INSURANCE COMPANIES ARE NOT SURE THERE IS ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THE HIGH COST OF THOSE INDIVIDUALS AND WHETHER OR NOT STUDENTS ARE TRULY MAKING ENOUGH PROGRESS.

It is also very expensive for schools to recruit and hire enough certified behaviorists to fulfill current needs. There appears to be a lack of certified speech and language therapists and speech and language assistants prepared to work in schools and centers as well. COVID-19’s closures of university programs, school programs, and clinics to complete clinical hours have affected the number prepared to support children, teens, and adults on the spectrum. It also appears the programs for speech therapists take fewer and fewer students each year due to reduced faculty size.

I happened to see a media site just this past week with 154 open positions for speech therapists. We need to think differently. We need to find a way to support our students’ needs with the resources we already have.

I suggest we look at the education and training of our special education teachers. The state requires every classroom have a credentialed teacher. They are a resource we must have. Why are teacher training programs not providing these teachers with the expertise to change behavior, facilitate communica-

tion expression and understanding, and provide tools for sensory regulation? Are they only being trained to accommodate the curriculum?

Next, I suggest we look at the current paraprofessionals we already hire and place in classrooms, homes, and centers and provide them with the understanding of communication challenges of those they support and train them to use strategies to become a positive communication partner. Why are they not learning about sensory regulation and how to support the visual, auditory, tactile, and olfactory sensitivities of those they support? Those paraprofessionals we have come to depend upon are capable.

I believe we are not seeing a resource that is right in front of us: the parent. The parent is the first natural communication partner, shaper of behavior, and co-regulator to whom the child connects. Why doesn’t our education system and Individualized Education Programs (IEP) provide goals and objectives for the family and provide training to the most important resource each student has? The parent will be with the student throughout their life. The education system will only be with them until age 22.

If we had seen the parent as a true part of the IEP and provided them with the knowledge, understanding, and, most importantly, the tools and strategies they needed to help their student move towards independence, understand communication, use communication strategies, and self-regulate, there might not have been huge losses in progress during COVID-19. So, how can we integrate the parent and make effective use of our available resources?

Let’s encourage our State Department of Education to provide funding to each special education local plan area (SELPA) to provide training and ongoing professional development to each and every paraprofessional hired. This training should include an understanding of each disability’s challenges, learning styles, and strategies to support positive learning. For example, the paraprofessional should learn how to support sensory dysregulation, comprehension, and expression of language as well as how to support positive behavior.

Let’s mandate that the Commission on Teacher Credentialling work with each university credentialling program and ensure teachers receive understanding and training in speech and language challenges, becoming a communication partner, and sensory regulation challenges and strategies. Teachers need to understand the principles of behavior management and how to support their individual students. Let’s mandate

that teachers learn how to supervise and train their paraprofessionals. During student teaching, teachers should be required to practice with an experienced teacher and be mentored throughout their credentialling program.

Let’s reevaluate the participation of a parent in each student’s educational plan. Why are schools afraid to have the parent observe speech sessions or occupational therapy regularly? How will they learn to implement these strategies at home for consistency if they don’t?

If districts are training the paraprofessional, why are they not funded to offer training to the parent, who is a key paraprofessional? Parents were asked to function as the primary paraprofessional during COVID-19.

Why not put in a training program at our local community colleges to train paraprofessionals? While they are obtaining twoyear degrees, those interested in helping people with special needs can enroll in two or three courses preparing them to offer support in the classroom, home, or center.

When paraprofessionals, teachers, and parents are all trained, there could be a reduction in the number of specialist hours

needed. Parents may begin to trust that all who support the student are capable. They may then reduce their push to have only the specialist work with their child. The specialist might then become the mentor, trainer, consultant, and advisor, optimizing their time and knowledge.

These strategies make use of what we already have.

Karen Kaplan is a native San Franciscan. She completed her bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Arizona State University, Tempe, Arizona, in Speech Pathology and Audiology. Karen minored in Special Education. She obtained her Speech Therapist and Special Education credentials in California. She worked as a speech therapist for both public schools and private schools before opening her own residential and education program for students with autism spectrum disorders. She worked in credential programs at Sacramento State University as well as UC Davis. She spent 20 additional years directing private schools for those with autism and similar learning challenges. She founded a small non-profit, Offerings, which travels globally helping other cultures understand those with developmental challenges. She founded and facilitated an autism lecture series and resource fair for seven years in Northern California. She still facilitates an Autism Awesomeness event yearly, showcasing the strengths and talents of those who live on the spectrum. Karen is currently consulting, helping families, schools, and centers for children, teens, and adults. She has published articles to help bring ideas and strategies to families and professionals, providing hope. Karen authored Reach Me Teach Me in the early ‘70s and went on to publish her second book, On the Yellow Brick Road: My Search for Home and Hope for the Child with Autism, in 2017. Her third book, Typing to Heaven and Back, is not about autism but about having important conversations with those we love. Be sure to connect with Karen—she is always ready to listen and think of the possibilities.

Website: www.karenkaplanasd.com

EXCEPTIONAL ADVICE FROM MESHELL

Parent Engagement in Schools Can Support Educational Success

ByMeshellBaylor,MHS

“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE MOST OVERWHELMING KEY TO A CHILD’S SUCCESS IS THE POSITIVE INVOLVEMENTOFPARENTS,”STATESJANED.HULL,GOVERNOROFARIZONA(1997TO2003).THEROLEOF APARENTPLAYSANIMPACTFULPOSITIONONTHEACHIEVEMENTOFACHILD.ITISTHEREASONACHILD CANCLIMBAMOUNTAIN:THEPARENTISTHERETOCHEERTHEMONACADEMICALLY,ATHLETICALLY,AND INDIVIDUALLY.

As parents, we are often in the home advocating for our children to achieve success. Even if they are the smallest things, like meeting an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) goal or learning to write a sentence and turning that sentence into a paragraph, those small accomplishments are a testament to the importance of a parent’s engagement in their child’s educational success. Parent engagement in schools is defined as parents and school staff working together to support and improve the learning, development, and health of children and adolescents.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), a research study conducted in 2016 highlighted 89% of children (kindergarten through 12th grade) meet academic success because of the involvement of a parental guardian. As a parent of a special needs child, I used to wonder how I could become involved in the school system to help my child succeed. Parents of special needs children often feel left out in the parent-engagement realm, but the key to involvement is educating the school on how to practice inclusion with parent involvement for all children.

Your child’s education is just as important as that of the next child. I remember walking into my first Parent Teacher Organization (PTO) meeting and feeling awkward and hesitant, but I continued to show up. The more I attended the meetings and volunteered, the more engaged the school staff became with wanting to know more about autism and introducing programs to uplift their special education students, such as holding their very own Special Olympics.

The more I as a parent became involved, the better opportunities I found to get to know the special education division and various staff working not only for my child but for others as well. My son, Justin, began to meet one IEP goal after another, and we would celebrate it with the school. At times, I remember being honored for my participation by all the children in the classroom.

Parent involvement does not revolve around one child, but all children. Knowing a parent is in the classroom or even donating to the school gives the child a feeling of wanting to strive to do their very best. Unfortunately, sometimes some parents cannot make it to volunteer, but here are six key ways to stay involved and be active in your child’s educational success.

1. Join the Parent-Teacher Association (PTA): This organization is centered around the active participation of parents, teachers, and staff in raising awareness about the importance of building relationships with parents and the community. Each school and district should have a PTA or PTO that meets every month to highlight innovative ways to include all students, parents, and staff.

2. Volunteer: Schools encourage parents to volunteer at least once out of the month. In fact, some school dis-

tricts have created a program for parents to volunteer without being sanctioned by their employers. Parents can volunteer with a proper background and tuberculosis (TB) clearance. Please check your local school district’s parent and community division

3. Donate: If you cannot make it to the meeting, ask your child what their classroom or school needs and make it a field trip to go shopping for the school supplies or goodies. Schools will always need supplies, classroom goodies, and even jackets during the winter season. There is nothing more special than seeing your child walk into Sam’s Club or Costco telling you what supplies their class and school need. Doing these special things gives them insight into how amazing a parent you are and how they can contribute.

4. Create a program: Parent involvement is a strong form of inclusion. If you are a parent of a child with a disability, bring awareness to the table. Teach the schools and staff about celebrating Autism Acceptance Month or World Down Syndrome Day. Your voice matters and so do your children. Educate schools about various organizations that uplift and celebrate individuals with special needs. That way you have a seat at

the table, and you are not only practicing parent-engagement skills but advocacy skills as well.

5. Create a phone tree: Communication is the key to parent engagement. Create a parent phone tree with the school to know what new and exciting things are happening, and so in case you missed something, who can you reach out to so as to get back on the wagon of helping. Because of the recent COVID-19 pandemic, schools and organizations are creating phone trees and virtual remote meetings to practice inclusion online.

6. Join Coffee with the Principal: Coffee with the Principal is a new program some schools have implemented. Take your child with you to a meeting in person or virtually to discuss how you can become involved,

whether reading a book to the classroom online or even helping with the school parking system. There is always something a good parent can help the school with achieving.

A parent’s role goes beyond the home. It is in the schools, on the playground, in the parking lot, and inside the classroom. Whether you are sitting in a school PTO meeting or in the classroom with a teacher preparing arts and crafts for the class activity of the day, parent involvement—your engagement in helping your child—is an example of great parenting and leadership for your child to see. When you, as a parent, play an active role in your child’s education, I guarantee your child will climb mountains, and success will surely follow behind them.

Website: http://meshellbaylor.wixsite.com/website

Instagram: https://instagram.com/imalittlebigb?utm_medium=copy_link

Meshell Baylor, MHS, is a mother of four children—two of whom are on the spectrum. She serves her community as a social worker and community advocate within the Los Angeles area. She has a bachelor’s degree in Human Services from Springfield College and a Master of Science in Human and Social Services. Meshell continues to volunteer and give within her community while serving the special needs community.

Could Your Child Be Locked

in a Seclusion Room at School?

By Guy Stephens

THE FIRST TIME I HEARD THE WORDS RESTRAINT AND SECLUSION IN THE CONTEXT OF A SCHOOL SETTING, IT WAS A SHOCK. I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED THAT YOUNG DISABLED CHILDREN ARE SOMETIMES PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED AND FORCED INTO ISOLATION ROOMS AT SCHOOL UNTIL IT HAPPENED TO MY SON. THE THOUGHT THAT A CHILD MIGHT BE PINNED TO THE FLOOR BY SEVERAL ADULT STAFF FOR HAVING A MELTDOWN WAS NOT SOMETHING I COULD HAVE IMAGINED.

If you had told me children were forced into small, padded rooms at school and not allowed to leave, I’m not sure I would have believed you. “Not at my school,” I might have said. Unfortunately, I now know it happens, and it happens far more often than I could have ever envisioned.

Restraint and seclusion are outdated crisis management strategies used in many schools across the nation. Physical restraint is a holding technique to reduce a person’s ability to freely move their torso, arms, legs, or head. Physical restraint is a tactic often used in law enforcement settings to subdue an uncooperative subject. Seclusion is the involuntary confinement of an individual alone in a room or area where they are physically prevented from leaving. These interventions are dangerous and can lead to lifelong trauma, serious injuries, and even death.

If restraint and seclusion are outdated and dangerous strategies, why are they used in schools? Let’s go back in time a bit. The use of physical restraint and seclusion techniques in psychiatric settings originated in 18th-century Europe. By the mid-20th century, these controversial practices were common in psychiatric hospitals across the United States. At that time, efforts were underway in England to decrease the use of restraint. However, in the United States, it was seen as a therapeutic treatment and accepted practice for dealing with “violent” patients. In the 1950s, the restraint of children considered “emotionally disturbed” became a more common practice (Ryan & Peterson, 2018).

How did these practices make their way into schools? It was not too long ago that most children with disabilities were not welcome in American schools. In 1970, schools in the United States educated only one in five children with disabilities, and many states had laws excluding most children with disabilities. In 1975, Congress enacted the Education for All Handicapped Children Act (EHA), which opened the schoolhouse doors for previously excluded children (U.S. Department of Education, 2022). As children with disabilities gained access to education, schools had to determine how to support those they had not previously served. Unfortunately, this resulted in restraint and seclusion practices being used in schools across the country.

Much has changed since the Education for All Handicapped Children Act (EHA) was passed into law almost 50 years ago. In the 1990s, EHA was reauthorized as the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Today, we have federal regulations in law enforcement and medical settings around the use of restraint and seclusion. However, there are no federal laws restricting the use of seclusion and restraints in public and private schools, and state laws vary considerably. Another significant change that has occurred over the past half-century has been advances in neuroscience and our understanding of how the brain works and responds to trauma and stress. The advances in neuroscience provide a foundation to better support children in classrooms across the country while elim-

inating dangerous practices like restraint and seclusion.

Could your child be locked alone in a seclusion room or physically restrained at school? Yes, it is possible. While a few states have banned seclusion, all allow for some form of physical restraint. If your child is disabled and/or a person of color, there is a greater chance they could be restrained and secluded at school. If your child is very young—five, six, or seven years old—they are more likely to be restrained and secluded. A child with a trauma history is more likely to be restrained and secluded. If your child is not in a general education setting, they are more likely to be restrained and secluded. Data from the Department of Education Office of Civil Rights indicates

that 80 percent of physical restraints and 77 percent of seclusion orders in public schools across the nation are being done to disabled children. The disproportionate use of restraint and seclusion is a civil, human, and disability rights issue (U.S. Department of Education, 2020).

You might assume you would know if your child is being restrained or secluded at school. The truth is parents are sometimes unaware it is happening. Many instances of restraint and seclusion go unreported, and caregivers are not notified. There is no federal law in terms of parental notification. Surely my child would tell me if they were restrained or secluded at school, you might think. However, many children do not or cannot say to their caregivers that they were restrained or secluded. Nonspeaking children are more likely to experience these punishments and may lack the ability to communicate what was done to them. Your only indication might be unexplained bruises, scratches, and sudden school avoidance. Some children feel shame and are not eager to come home and share what happened to them at school. Some kids even assume their caregivers know everything that happens to them at school and might believe you are already aware they were restrained or secluded.

Why are children restrained and secluded in schools? According to federal guidance, restraint or seclusion should never be used except when a child’s behavior poses an imminent danger of serious physical harm to self or others. The guidance goes on to say restraint and seclusion should be avoided to the greatest extent possible without endangering the safety of students and staff. The “imminent danger of serious physical harm” phrase has a legal definition that equates to a life-ordeath danger. So, according to federal guidance, restraint and seclusion should only be used in potentially life-threatening situations (U.S. Department of Eduction, 2012); this, however, is not the case. Most restraint and seclusion incidents arise from noncompliance, disrespect, minor behaviors, work refusal, and power struggles. Looking beneath the surface, children are restrained and secluded when they cannot meet the behavioral expectations placed on them by teachers and staff.

While it may be necessary to restrain a child in an actual life-threatening situation, those situations should be exceedingly rare. We sometimes hear the idea that seclusion is a safe and calming intervention. Nothing could be further from the

truth. Nothing is calming about being thrown into a room against your will, alone, while someone holds the door shut. Initially, children may respond by kicking, screaming, and beating on the walls to escape. Eventually, lacking the developmental capacity to self-regulate, children’s brains will begin to shut down, and they may enter a survival state—this is not calm. Seclusion is not an appropriate intervention for a child.

Why are physical restraint and seclusion dangerous? When restraint and seclusion are used, staff use force to gain compliance. The moment you go hands-on with any child, you significantly increase the risks to all involved. A child will probably go into a fight-or-flight survival brain state when staff gets physical. The child’s heart rate will increase, blood pressure will increase, and adrenaline is released as the body prepares to fight or run. The child is no longer accessing the thinking part of their brains; they are in a survival state. Staff may also become escalated and enter a fight-or-flight brain state. In this survival brain state, the chances of physical injury increase for everyone involved. These interventions are dangerous. Anything that can be done to reduce risks and maintain safety for all involved should be considered.

Fortunately, there are many alternative approaches to better support our children. Grafton Integrated Health in Virginia developed a method called Ukeru, a trauma-informed alternative to restraint and seclusion. Grafton eliminated seclusion in all the schools and residential facilities it manages and now teaches the approach to other schools. Dr. Bruce Perry, a leading trauma expert, developed the Neurosequential Model for Education, which is proven to reduce the use of restraint in trauma-exposed youth. Dr. Ross Greene developed the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model, an evidence-based approach to minimize restraint, seclusion, suspensions, expulsions, and corporal punishment. Dr. Mona Delahooke developed an approach called Beyond Behaviors, which helps educators understand the neuroscience behind behavior and ways to better support children.

If you suspect restraint or seclusion could be happening in your child’s school, you should talk to your child and their school team. The long-term impact of even one incident can be devastating. There are better things that can and should be done to support your child.

To learn more about restraint and seclusion, visit the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint at www.endseclusion.org.

References

Colaizzi, J. (2005). Seclusion & restraint: A historical perspective. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services, 43(2), 31-7. Retrieved from https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/ seclusion-restraint-historical-perspective/docview/225533207/se2?accountid=14696

Logan, S. (2021). The historical use of restraints in asylums. Kentucky Historic Institutions.

If restraint and seclusion are outdated and dangerous strategies, why are they used in schools?

Retrieved April 15, 2022, from https://kyhi.org/2021/06/15/thehistorical-use-of-restraints-in-asylums/

Ryan, J. B., & Peterson, R. L. (2018, July 10). Physical restraint in school. Michigan Positive Behavior Support (PBS) Network. Retrieved April 15, 2022, from https://www.bridges4kids.org/PBS/articles/ RyanPeterson2004.htm

U.S. Department of Education. (2012). Restraint and seclusion: Resource document. Retrieved April 15, 2022, from https://www2. ed.gov/policy/seclusion/restraint-and-seclusion-resource-document. html

U.S Department of Education. (2020). 2017-2018 Civil Rights data collection: The use of restraint and seclusion on children with disabilities in K-12 schools. Office of Civil Rights. https://www2.ed.gov/ about/offices/list/ocr/docs/restraint-and-seclusion.pdf

U.S. Department of Education. (2022). A history of the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act.. Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. Retrieved April 15, 2022, from https://sites.ed.gov/idea/IDEAHistory#1980s-90s

Guy Stephens lives in Southern Maryland with his wife and two amazing children. He started The Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint to raise awareness about the use of restraint and seclusion in classrooms across our nation. He has been meeting with local, state, and federal lawmakers to support legislation to ban seclusion and reduce the use of restraint in schools across the nation. Guy is the Executive Director of The Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint.

Website: https://endseclusion.org

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/endseclusion

Twitter: https://twitter.com/endseclusion

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/65509948/admin/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/AllianceAgainstSeclusionandRestraint

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/endseclusionorg

Don't you wish there was a "magic" form for activities and games that... actually wants to participate in? and socialization?

Your loved one on the autism spectru

Develops their interactive attention span

There is! Designed around common special interests enjoyed by autistic people, this book includes over 180 activities for families to do together to help strengthen relationships and develop social skills.

Kate shows how seven magic ingredients for optimal game-playing can be applied to a range of themes, from trains and planes to household appliances, the human body to animals and insects, TV and film characters, and what's more, how you can introduce your loved one's favorite topics.

She shares "Presto Chango" beliefs - the five mindsets you need to power activities - as well as how to understand the magic of timing and knowing when to start and stop an activity based on your loved one's cues.

Five Ways To Address Bullying When Preparing a Child’s IEP

By Markeisha Hall, MA, CATP

MY YOUNGEST WAS FINALLY GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL AFTER THE PANDEMIC. THE “BIG SCHOOL,” AS HE CALLS IT. GOING TO SCHOOL AFTER THE PANDEMIC WAS GOING TO BE EVEN MORE DIFFERENT AS WE ALL EXPERIENCED THE REALIZATION: WE WON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT ONLINE LEARNING, WILL WE?

Since my husband and I are in special education, our son’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) was airtight. We felt confident he could access his school day, general education with the Resource Support Program (RSP), and speech and occupational therapy (OT). First grade, here he comes!

Now, we are not rookie parents. We have three older kids and know intimately many of the issues that happen at school. We addressed those things in our son’s IEP, but one thing we had not thought of at his age was bullying.

In September 2021, my son was assaulted in his school’s bathroom. Writing this and talking about it is still devastating and difficult. What is even more heartbreaking is that no one knew. My son does speak; however, he is still working on communication. When asked about his day that day, he said the same thing he says every day. It wasn’t until I read his communication log with his teacher that I read, “Josiah came back from the bathroom crying and upset; he could not tell me why, so I told him to show or tell me when he is ready.” It then went on to say, “At recess, he brought me to a kid and said the kid was mean to him. The student admitted to saying something mean to him, so I made him apologize.”

There are two main times I find out what is going on with Jo: during our walks or during bath time. He began to say things like “ouch” and “arm.” It did not take me long to put together what the teacher said in the communication log and the random accounts of his day.

There was more that went into this, of course, and it has since been handled. Despite this, we are still scarred from the incident, and him being so vulnerable in situations like this is so scary. At the same time, there are some wonderful classmates and friends he has made being in an inclusive setting that have brought him so much joy this year!

With that being said, I want to bring awareness and action steps to this issue so you can best protect your child before this happens.

In 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Department of Education released the first federal definition of bullying. The definition includes three core elements:

• Unwanted aggressive behavior

• The observed or perceived power imbalance

• Repetition or high likelihood of repetition of bullying behaviors

This definition helps determine whether an incident is bullying, another type of aggressive behavior, or both. When bullying is directed at a child because of their established disability, and it creates a hostile environment at school, bullying behavior may cross the line and become “disability harassment.”

Under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, the school must address the harassment.

IEPs, as well as 504 plans, can help outline supports and services that can prevent and respond to bullying and harassment of disabled students.

IEP goals for the student can include self-advocacy skills that will help them communicate what is going on at school and how to respond.

Here are five ways to address this issue in your child’s IEP:

1. Add self-advocacy goals

2. Ask about what type of social skills groups are offered at your child’s school

3. What type of School-Wide Bullying/Inclusion Programs and Training does your child’s school offer? (You can ask for trainings in your IEP.)

4. Document, document, document (put into writing your concerns)

5. You can request a copy of your school district’s discrimination, harassment, intimidation, and bullying policy and complaint process. Your school district might have its policy and complaint process available on its website

I hope this helps, as we are all looking out for the best interest of our kids and working towards the betterment of their futures.

Additional Resources

www.stopbullying.org

https://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/docs/howto.html

Markeisha Hall, MA, CATP, is an IEP Coach, Certified Autism Travel Professional, Parent Empowerment Partner, and CEO of Hallegacy, LLC. She also is married to her college sweetheart and has four beautiful children. After 11 dedicated years of facilitating over two dozen IEP meetings annually as a member of the Early Childhood Assessment Team, Markeisha knew she needed to be a Special Education Teacher and advocate to help parents be more impactful members at the table. In 2018, Markeisha became more intimate with this reality when her family adopted their youngest son. During the adoption process, he was diagnosed with autism. Markeisha is now bringing her IEP process mastery and special education expertise into consulting services to help parents take the lead on their students’ educational roadmap, create more inclusive educational and recreational experiences, and shift from awareness to empowered action.

Websites: https://expert-writer-2426.ck.page/, https:// markeishahall.ck.page/products/my-first-iep-guide, https:// markeishahall.ck.page/products/top-travel-tips-forfamilies-with-special-, https://www.markeishahall.com/ pepsquadparentadvocate

Podcast: https://markeishahallpodcast.buzzsprout.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hallmarkeisha Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markeisha_hall/

Taking Control of ADHD as a Student

By Coral Levkovitz

I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD DURING MY JUNIOR YEAR AT UNC-CHAPEL HILL. DESPITE MY 20/20 VISION, MY DIAGNOSIS FELT AS THOUGH I HAD PUT ON A FRESH PAIR OF PRESCRIPTION GLASSES AFTER YEARS OF A BLURRED PERCEPTION OF REALITY. MY FIRST THREE YEARS OF COLLEGE HAD CAUSED MY CONFIDENCE IN MYSELF AND MY ABILITIES TO PLUMMET, AND I WAS COMPELLED TO RECONSIDER MY ENTIRE LIFE’S PURPOSE. I ALMOST GAVE UP ON MY DREAMS OF BECOMING A PHYSICIAN. AS A DAUGHTER OF ISRAELI PARENTS, I WAS A FIRST-GENERATION STUDENT IN AMERICA WITH A PATH TO CARVE FOR MY TWO YOUNGER SIBLINGS, BUT I WAS HITTING ROADBLOCKS THAT WERE HINDERING ME FROM REACHING MY DESTINATION. MY ACTIONS WERE BEING HEAVILY IMPEDED.

Initially, I saw my ADHD diagnosis as a disability that would deter me from reaching my full potential. Blessings and burdens, however, are not mutually exclusive. This fresh pair of glasses was allowing me to see I was not being punished with my new medicine, testing accommodations,

and “special attention” in class; rather, I was given an advantage. Since my diagnosis, I have been a successful student with the grades to prove it. If you are a student (or a parent of a student) newly diagnosed with ADHD, let me be your reminder that sometimes our biggest obstacles are, in fact, paths

disguised as impediments that we must conquer to reach our full potential.

Along with my diagnosis, I had to make a few changes to the way I managed my studies in order to succeed. I had to become organized in a way that worked for my brain, and I realized I could not adopt the study habits of my non-ADHD peers. So instead, I created my own. Below are some practices that changed the game for me. I hope they help you as well!

1. Schedule and plan

Regardless of if it is two days or two months away, I ALWAYS write down my deadlines and due dates for any projects, assignments, or exams. Using a weekly/monthly planner (the one I use is $9.34 on Amazon) allows me to have my to-do list in one place, rather than having numerous journals and apps and lists to check to ensure I am fulfilling my responsibilities. In addition to a due date, I write reminders 24 hours and one week before the date itself, just so I am aware of what is coming up and I can stay on top of my work. Color coding my dates is also a lifesaver—exams are one color, homework/assignment deadlines are another, etc. (the colored erasable pens I get are on Amazon for $11.99 and have lasted me two years).

2. Start early so as not to fall behind

As a person with ADHD, I’ve found that completing assignments and studying for exams usually takes me longer than my peers, and I have come to accept and love this! Because of this, I have learned it is best for me to begin early rather than procrastinate and stress out. Give yourself the extra time. If you end up not needing it, great! You will have extra time for some self-care. This brings me to my next point.

3. Take care of your body

Exercise has been a blessing in my life. Even 10 minutes of movement is better than nothing, and it makes such a difference in energy levels and motivation in school! In a study published in the Journal of Clinical Medicine, it was found that “exercise positively impacts executive functions and attentional control in children with ADHD” and that consistent and long-term exercise is correlated with improvement in several cognitive functions (Christiansen et al., 2019). For further motivation, follow my fitness page @coralsfitness on Instagram! I post daily workouts for all levels of experience, as well as nutrition advice and tips on balancing health with life as a student. Eating a nutritious, balanced diet is important too! I find limiting my caffeine intake and setting alarms for eating and drinking has allowed my body to recalibrate to my usual appetite. ADHD medicine can reduce appetite, so it is crucial to set up reminders to feed your body!

4. Take care of your mind

Alongside my diagnosis, I began practicing meditation and mindfulness. This helped reduce my testing anxiety and gain control of my focus. This can be done by watching/listening to free videos on YouTube (search guided meditation for ADHD/ anxiety/sleep, etc.) or downloading Headspace, which is an app you can use that will provide you with daily meditations and will track your progress (for students, it costs $9.99 per YEAR)! Learning to control ADHD is empowering. If I can do it, I know you can too.

5. Find support

Before my diagnosis, I was never one to ask for help; I thought I could do everything on my own. If I want you to take anything away from this article, let it be this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You can find people to support you through this journey, and you can find others just like you that can help you with whatever you need. For example, after watching a TedX talk by Jessica McCabe, I joined her “How to ADHD” community and have felt empowered and inspired by her content. Reach out to your school and discuss ways they can accommodate your ADHD. Be proud of who you are and find others you can teach and/or learn from.

Long story short, set yourself up for success! You can be in control of your ADHD rather than having it control you. Being a student with ADHD can be difficult at first, but once you find what works for you, the world is full of endless opportunities! You can do whatever you set your mind to, no matter what anyone says. Set goals for yourself and go out there and crush them. Believe in yourself, and the world will follow suit. Best of luck!

Sources

Christiansen, L., Beck, M. M., Bilenberg, N., Wienecke, J., Astrup, A., Lundbye-Jensen, J. (2019) Effects of Exercise on Cognitive Performance in Children and Adolescents with ADHD: Potential Mechanisms and Evidence-based Recommendations. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 8(6), 841. https://doi.org/10.3390/ jcm8060841

Coral Levkovitz is a 23-year-old future physician. She graduated from the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill with a bachelor’s degree in Biology. Coral is a second-degree Black Belt in Taekwondo and a licensed EMT. She currently works as a group fitness instructor for cancer survivors and is pursuing medical school. She hopes her journey with ADHD will inspire others to become the best version of themselves and to pursue their dreams.

Promoting Collaboration Between Home and School

By Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L

WHAT COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU HEAR THE PHRASE “PARENTS AS PARTNERS?” HOLD THAT THOUGHT. I WOULD FIRST LIKE TO START WITH A GRACE NOTE—A NOTE OF THANKS AND A REMINDER TO PARENTS TO GIVE YOURSELVES GRACE FOR THE HARD WORK YOU DO EVERY DAY.

promote and support collaboration (the bridge) between members of the home and school teams. Home teams include parents, caregivers, or other adults responsible for the care of the child. Teachers, school-based professionals such as occupational therapy practitioners, speech and language pathologists, physical therapists, and behavior support professionals are included in the school team. The child is a part of both teams.

What does your partner relationship look like? Do you have one? Let’s start by defining partnerships. A partnership involves the coming together of a group of people, usually for a common goal or shared purpose (Abeykoon, 2021). In business, partners have equal value or ownership in the practice. Partners in healthcare and school-based settings have similar roles. I define “Parents as Partners” as a collaborative relationship between parents and school team members to foster a sense of connection, develop understanding, and encourage shared decision-making, all for the purpose of helping children succeed (Kokorelias et al., 2019; Riley et al., 2017).

Parents as Partners: the concept

In this article, “parents” refers to birth, foster, or adoptive parents and guardians, other caregivers, and other adults responsible for the child’s care. Parents and caregivers will be used interchangeably, and family will be used to describe parent and caregiver groups.

At the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, most children were learning on fully remote platforms. Then they moved into a hybrid model. During this time, our twin boys were entering kindergarten. Their school implemented Parents as Partners, a meet-and-greet session between teachers and caregivers on a virtual platform. Parents learned about the curriculum and expectations for students. Parents as Partners continued up until our boys returned to in-person classes. Like other parents who may have navigated online learning, I appreciated the school’s attempt to improve the bridge between school and home.

Remember the question at the beginning of the article? You can release that thought now. For me, Parents as Partners goes beyond the exchange of information. It’s the engagement that occurs while on the school-to-home bridge and involves the journey beyond.

In this article, “Parents as Partners” will focus on how we can

1. When does connection begin?

It can start at the point of enrollment into an educational program and sometimes before. How does connection begin? It can begin with a virtual meet-and-greet, a note, a phone call, or other ways. Why is this so important? It’s vital to connect because it is the pathway to developing understanding.

My experience

Our twin boys are now seven years old. This school year, my husband and I decided to give them a different experience and try separate classes for the first time (uh-oh…). The boys have shared the same classrooms since they started daycare at about 18 months old. They did not have difficulty separating from one another in these settings. Rather, they would occasionally seek each other out during the day for what I believe to be social-emotional support. To this day, they sometimes do what I call “brother talk.” They whisper “twin things” in each other’s ears at (what appears to be) random times throughout the day. So, as you might imagine, trying this separate class situation for the first time came with its own set of challenges. But, that’s a conversation for another article.

Before making our decision, we discussed it with the boys. We knew connecting with their school team would be integral during their transition. We sent emails at the beginning of the

school year, attended Parent Night to understand the year’s expectations and curriculum, and we made a point to stay in touch to see how the boys were adjusting in their classes individually. Though we continue to experience challenges with the transition, we are grateful the school team members were open and willing to connect.

Building connections

As an occupational therapy practitioner, I understand it’s not always easy to form connections on both ends, but I consistently try. My encouragement to parents is to keep trying. Discover the methods of communication your child’s team uses and share your communication preferences (email, communication notebook, phone calls, etc.). If you encounter challenges along the way (e.g., lack of follow-through), keep trying. Your school team needs your support in building a relationship to understand your child’s unique needs and what matters most to you. For school teams, be mindful that some families may not have access to resources or need support with connecting. I encourage you to meet them at their point of need and assist in finding a way to stay connected. How else can we build connections between home and school teams? Let’s dig deeper into a place of understanding.

2. Developing understanding

What is understanding in a Parent as Partner relationship? Understanding involves getting to know the family’s culture, values, and beliefs, as well as the child’s needs and strengths. This enables the team to navigate how to support the child within the learning environment best. For children with disabilities, it’s essential to understand how the disability impacts the child and the family through a collaborative relationship (AOTA, 2020).

Why is understanding important? Understanding is important because it requires being open to learning and discovering. It requires a willingness to try things differently and in ways that best support the child and family. Understanding does not mean we totally get it. It does not mean we seek to know everything there is to know about a child and their family. Rather, it is the foundation by which we position ourselves to knowing, consistently respecting, and valuing the roles each team member brings to the collaborative process.

Recognizing the team

Parent partners might help to inform, educate, and share family values and beliefs that may influence how the school team engages with and supports the child. The school team might seek to create opportunities for developing understanding of the needs of the child and their family. The key to understanding is recognizing there are multiple experts on one team. Each member holds equal weight, measured in the form of values and strengths, which they bring to the relationship when making shared decisions.

3. Shared decision-making

Shared decision-making involves collaboration in decisions, discussions, or goals that support the child. Shared decision-making is a concept best described under family-centered care principles (Kokorelias et al., 2019; Riley et al., 2017). It recognizes the value all partners have (teachers, parents, therapists, the child, and other members) in planning and the decisions that contribute to positive outcomes in a child’s education and development. Can you think of an example of how shared decision-making can be promoted within school-based settings? One example is creating a collaborative goal that addresses the child’s performance during a specific educational activity. This mutually agreed upon goal should also accompany a shared plan to address it.

Encouraging shared decision-making

Parent partners, “Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there!” Remember that you are a valued member of your child’s team. Create opportunities to discuss goals (yours and your child’s), outcomes, and your child’s strengths and needs. Your school team needs your input to implement collaborative decision-making. School-based team members, be open to creating opportunities for parents to share and join you in the decision-making process. Without this unique and necessary sharing of ideas and expertise on both ends, we may miss out on the benefits of such a collaborative relationship.

Key takeaways to promoting collaboration between home and school

Home Team:

• Get to know your School Team

• Identify how to get in touch and share your contact preferences

• Ask questions

• Educate and inform the School Team and other members of the Home Team about your family values, culture, beliefs, strengths, and needs

• Stay connected

• Advocate for your child

• Involve your child in the decision-making and goal-development process

School Team:

• Get to know the Home Team

• Honor contact preferences

• Provide thoughtful, responsive, culturally sensitive answers to questions and work with parents and other Home Team members to discover solutions together

• Understand the parents’ values, culture, and beliefs, as well as the child’s strengths and needs

• Stay connected

• Advocate for the needs of the child and other members of the Home Team

• Involve parents and children in the decision-making and goal-development process

Resources

Culturally Competent Bilingual Therapy & Evaluation Services

Somos Bilingües

https://www.somosbilinguesslp.com/

References

Abeykoon P. (2021). Partnerships in Health Development. Journal of Health Management, 23(1), 143-154.

https://doi.org/10.1177/0972063421995

American Occupational Therapy Association. (2020). Occupational therapy practice framework: Domain and process (4th ed.). American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(Suppl. 2), 7412410010.

https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2020.74S2001

Kokorelias, K.M., Gignac, M.A.M., Naglie, G., & Cameron, J.I. (2019). Towards a universal model of family centered care: A scoping review. BMC Health Services Research, 19(564), 1-11.

http://doi.org/10.1186/s12913-019-4394-5

Riley, B., Hardesty, L., Butler, A., Kimmelman, A., Gardner, K., & Miceli, A. (2017). How do pediatric occupational therapists implement family-centered care. [Poster Session]. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 71, 7111505155.

http://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2017.71S1-po7068

Rose Adams, OTD, OTR/L, is an occupational therapy practitioner with a clinical focus in pediatrics. She works with children and families of children on the autism spectrum and those with other neurodiverse needs. Dr. Adams has worked in schools, private practice settings, and community-based programs. She is the Executive Director at Changing Lives Occupational Therapy, P.C., and currently works at a community-based preschool in New York. Dr. Adams is a graduate of Boston University’s Post Professional Occupational Therapy Doctorate (PP-OTD) program. Her doctoral project focused on using song-based interventions to support young children with autism and related disabilities so they could participate in school-based occupations.

Email: roseadamsot@gmail.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/rose-adams-otd-otr-l-5068b316

Why is connection so important? It’s important to connect because it is the pathway to developing understanding.

Executive

Functioning:

Allowing Mental Exercise Through Everyday Skills

By Dr. Chris Abildgaard, EdD, NCSP, LPC, NCC

I WAS RECENTLY TRAVELING TO A CONFERENCE WHERE A NICE WOMAN LEANED OVER TO LOOK AT MY PRESENTATION SLIDES AND SAID, “THAT LOOKS INTERESTING. DO YOU MIND IF I ASK WHAT YOU ARE WORKING ON?” I WAS WITH TWO OF MY THREE CHILDREN, WHO HAPPENED TO BE TRAVELING WITH ME. ONE GAVE ME A LOOK AS IF TO SAY, “WHO IS SHE?” THE OTHER PUT HER AIRPODS IN AND WHISPERED, “HERE WE GO.”

Iexplained we were traveling to a conference where I would be speaking on ways to link aspects of a person’s cognitive abilities with their day-to-day living skills. She went on to tell me she was the mother of a daughter with dyslexia. We began to talk about how she’d thought for years and years that having her daughter in talk therapy would

help her be more successful at everyday tasks. I gently asked, “How would only talk therapy help bridge the gap between her executive functioning, self-motivation, and getting her to do things around the house?” This woman sat back in her seat a bit as if to think of her response. After about 15 seconds, she leaned back and said, “You know, I have no idea! I just thought

it was the next thing she needed to help her get her to do things around the house.”

We often encounter this story in our work with children and families. We hear how one’s child can do all these great things at school, but when it comes to showering, putting their shoes on, or remembering to charge their Chromebook at night, they look at their parents like they have never done that task before. The question then becomes, “How can we bridge what we are doing at school, at home, in the counseling office, and in our community to produce something meaningful for the individual?”

We can write 20 articles on “How to get your child to brush their teeth,” but it’s not just about the “how to.” Our work starts with expectations and knowing how to balance the ones we hold for our children, students, and clients and their internal executive function skills, motivation, perseverance, and ability to understand the “why.” The gap for many of us can be closed (though maybe never fully filled in) once we help others understand how all those factors intersect and create something we can check off.

Parents tell me, “Dr. Chris, I send Leah upstairs to get her shoes on, and she comes down 10 minutes later with the AirPods still in, gets to the bottom of the stairs, looks at me, and says, ‘What’s the matter now, Mom?’”. Now we are running late, and we are feeling our own emotions because we asked her three times to get her shoes, and she still hasn’t done it. Is she being oppositional? Is she distracted? Does she not care about what we have asked? The answer to all those questions may be “yes”. However, it is what we do next that will start to fill that gap between what is in her mind and what really needs to take place for her day-to-day functioning.

Instead of saying or even yelling, “Leah, for the fourth time…!” or demanding, “Give me your AirPods because clearly, you are distracted,” I would love for you to try something different. Calmly say your child’s name, then shift your gaze down to their feet. If they have difficulty reading eye movement, pair your look with a finger pointing in the direction you want them to think about. Then bring your eyes back up to their head and say, “What am I thinking?” Try this with your four-year-old and your 19-year-old.

As parents, educators, and clinicians, we’re quick to tell others what they failed to do. The problem is, when we tell our young people what they didn’t do repeatedly, they become used to hearing that negative feedback. This begins to wear on their mental health and self-esteem, and WE end up rescuing their brains’ frontal lobes time and time again.

The human brain is a muscle, so we need to treat it like one. We need to get more comfortable with allowing students and younger clients to go through mental exercises to help them remember routines, tasks, things they should do, and things

they can do. By asking the simple (yet, for many, very complex) question, “What am I thinking about?” we are helping our kids exercise their perspective-taking skills, memory skills, communication skills, etc. Eighty percent of the time, their response to that question will be running back up to retrieve their shoes and saying, “Ugh…sorry, Mom.” Others will need more prompting and support before they remember what they went upstairs for in the first place. Our job, when possible, is not to answer right away. It’s essential to allow your child to think, to exercise that part of the brain, even if it takes a second or five.

Here is the final trick—positively reinforce them for remembering and completing the task they initially set out to do. Do not make comments like, “It took you long enough,” or “Now we are late!” or “You owe me 15 minutes of tech-free time later because you wasted 15 minutes of MY time.” Those sorts of comments only destroy bridges. They destroy self-confidence

and teach our kids they are an inconvenience. When we are working with our neurodiverse learners, WE—the adults, the counselors, the safe people in their lives—have to allow them to exercise their brain, their problem-solving skills, and their time management, even if it takes “time” away from us.

It’s also part of our job to allow for uncomfortable moments. Those awkward moments and even conversations are the ones that will often stick with our students and clients more than anything else. So, if you invite mental exercise to happen, model not being afraid of the uncomfortable, and invite conversation, feedback, and reinforcement for a job done. You will help mold a confident person who understands the “why” and “how” to balance the things they should be doing daily.

This will not happen overnight. I tell parents it’s our goal to give young people tips and tools, so they have a backpack of resources to use as they enter young adult life where Mom and Dad won’t always be there for things like reminding them to wear shoes before walking out the door. Allowing mental exercise to happen even when it is not convenient to do so will help create that bridge between one stage of life to another while also developing self-confidence, competence, and a sense of “why” those little things in life just need to happen.

Dr. Chris Abildgaard, EdD, NCSP, LPC, NCC, is the Owner and Director of the Social Learning Center, LLC, located in Cheshire, Connecticut. He has been in private practice for over 13 years. Chris earned his Doctorate of Education in School Psychology from Loyola University Chicago. He is a nationally certified school psychologist, a board-certified national counselor, and a licensed professional counselor with a specialization in autism spectrum disorders. Chris also holds a graduate certificate from the University of Massachusetts Lowell in behavioral interventions in autism. Chris is an Adjunct Professor at the University of St. Joseph’s and the University of Hartford, both located in West Hartford, Connecticut.

Website: https://www.sociallearningcenter.org/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SocialLearningCenter

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SLC545

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrisabildgaardslc/

DIRECTORY OF TOP RESOURCES AND SERVICES

COMMUNITY SERVICES

ABILITIES WORKSHOP

Abilities Workshop provides resources to parents, pastors, and teachers to help children with autism and other special needs be their best! Parent Workshops for newly diagnosed, transitioning to adulthood and families in crisis. additional resources include free publications and an international podcast.

Website: www.AbilitiesWorkshop.com

Location: 631 Palm Springs Dr. #107 Altamonte Springs, FL 32701

Contact: Office@AbilitiesWorkshop.com

Phone: 407-951-6117

ALLIANCE AGAINST SECLUSION AND RESTRAINT

Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR) is a Maryland nonprofit corporation. Our mission is to inform changes in policy and practice to reduce and eliminate the use of punitive discipline and outdated behavioral management approaches and end the school-to-prison pipeline. Our vision is safer schools for students, teachers, and staff.

Website: https://endseclusion.org

Location: Benedict, Maryland (Nationwide)

Contact: Guy Stephens

Phone: (866) 667-2576

AUTISM MOVING FORWARD

We are educators, autistic adults, and professionals. We are neurodivergent and neurotypical. Autism Moving Forward is committed to supporting autistic individuals across the lifespan through online resources, consultation, and the development and hybrid publication of books. We consult with school districts and outside agencies and write, edit, and develop books and other materials for educators, parents, and the neurodivergent community.

Website: https://www.autismmovingforward.com/ Location: Online & Topeka, KS

Contact: Rebecca Silva, Ph.D. Phone: 951-243-4424

BECOMING RENTABLE

Becoming rentABLE is a platform dedicated to advocating for and educating about creating accessible short-term rental properties for family members & individuals that need accommodations due to mobility, cognitive, hearing, sight, and aging accessibility needs.

Website: www.BecomingRentABLE.com

Location: Raleigh, North Carolina

Contact: Lorraine@BecomingRentABLE.com

Phone: (919) 426-4312

INLAND EMPIRE AUTISM ASSESSMENT CENTER OF EXCELLENCE

These pediatric specialty clinics focus on providing the Gold-Standard of evaluation for neurodevelopmental disorders, such as autism spectrum disorder. Children can be seen at the centers up to their 21st birthday. The AAC is a nonprofit, evaluation-only center that provides a singular, one-stop solution to a multi-specialty evaluation process.

Website: https://www.autismassessment4ie.org/

Locations: 19314 Jesse Ln., STE 200, Riverside, CA, and 1499 S. Tippecanoe Ave., Bldg. A, San Bernardino, CA

Contact: info@ieaace.com

Phone: (909) 799-3777

SEARCHABLE

National Resource Directory for the special needs community. Find service providers near you and leave ratings and reviews! No cost to list or search, try it today!

Website: www.SearchableNOW.com

Location: Orlando FL

Contact: Office@AbilitiesWorkshop.com

Phone: 407-951-6117

SUPPORTABLE SOLUTIONS

For over a decade, we’ve developed professional development, audited districts, and supported schools through coaching, consulting, and evaluating students. Our commitment to fostering a conducive learning environment extends beyond classrooms. Through collaboration, we empower others to maximize their potential. Our goal is an inclusive educational system where every learner thrives.

Website: https://supportablesolutions.com/ Location: Wisconsin

Contact: Connie Persike Phone: 608-333-4464 or connie@supportablesolutions.com

US AUTISM ASSOCIATION

Home of the World Autism Conference, the Autism Support Directory, and the world’s largest autism-focused Video Streaming Library of world-renowned experts, US Autism Association has been providing information and resources since 1995 to ensure individuals across the autism spectrum have the opportunity to achieve their fullest potential.

Website: https://usautism.org

Location: 1245 Farmington Ave. #1044 West Hartford, CT 06107

Contact: https://usautism.org/contact-us/

EDUCATION SCHOOLS & LIFE SKILLS PROGRAMS

BERKLEE INSTITUTE FOR ACCESSIBLE ARTS EDUCATION

The Berklee Institute for Accessible Arts Education offers Arts Education Programs for people with disabilities ages three to 93. Programs include a wide range of music lessons, classes, and ensembles, as well as two adaptive dance programs and a theater program. Interested individuals and families should fill out and submit an online application at college.berklee.edu/biaae/arts-education-programs. Each individual program has a red APPLY button at the bottom of its webpage.

Website: college.berklee.edu/biaae

Location: Berklee College of Music, Boston, MA

Contact: Dr. Rhoda Bernard, Managing Director

Phone: 617-747-2760

DIGITABILITY

Digitability is an award-winning comprehensive life skills and transition curriculum that continues to be recognized as an innovative solution to the unemployment crisis facing a large — and growing — population of those with disabilities, such as autism, intellectual disability, Down syndrome, and more. Students graduate with a workready portfolio and the skills to showcase their experiences, as well as a self-advocacy plan for any workplace.

Website: www.Digitability.com

Location: USA/Canada

Contact: info@digitability.com

SPRINGBROOK BEHAVIORAL HEALTH

Springbrook Autism Behavioral Health is a nationally renowned program for the treatment of autism in children and adults ages five-21. We work with the entire spectrum of children and adolescents with autism at all developmental levels. We work with children using advanced, evidence-based autism therapy programs to address difficult behaviors.

Website: springbrookbehavioral.com

Location: 1 Havenwood Lane, Suite B, Travelers Rest, South Carolina

Contact: admissions@springbrookbhs.com

Phone: (864) 834-8013

WINSTON PREPARATORY SCHOOL

Winston Preparatory School is a highly individualized school network for students with learning disabilities such as dyslexia, executive functioning difficulties (ADHD), and nonverbal learning disorder (NVLD). Our programming is tailored to each student’s specific needs, allowing all students to become independent learners.

Website: https://www.winstonprep.edu

Locations:

NEW YORK

126 West 17 Street New York, NY 10011 212-496-8400

CONNECTICUT

57 West Rocks Road Norwalk, CT 06851 203-229-0465

NEW JERSEY 901 Route 10 East Whippany, NJ 07981 973-500-6480

PROFESSIONAL RESOURCES AND SERVICES

ADVOCACY

J. EDWARDS HOLT

J. Edwards Holt is an Amazon bestselling author from North Carolina. As a person with a disability, Holt developed an understanding for those with exceptional needs over years of fighting anxiety, depression, ADHD, OCD, and mild Tourette’s. As an author, he incorporates his experiences into his writing, creating works of fiction that offer advice and valuable lessons, as well as a chance for readers to take a break from reality and spend time in a world of magic and endless possibilities.

Website: www.jedwardsholt.com

Location: Raleigh, NC

Contact: j@jedwardsholt.com

Phone: 252-590-1757

AMY WAGENFELD | DESIGN

Amy Wagenfeld | Design works with designers, engineers, and planners to create inclusive and accessible environments that support health and well-being. We also consult directly with clients to evaluate proposals to enhance and optimize their design value for the intended user group and provide therapeutic design coaching services for therapists.

Website: www.amywagenfelddesign.com

Location: Seattle, WA / Does business throughout the US

Contact: Amy Wagenfeld

Phone: 617-875-4883

AUTISM CRISIS TURNAROUND

The ACT (Autism Crisis Turnaround) protocol (for children and adults), developed by authors and autism thought leaders Raun K. Kaufman and Kate C. Wilde, is designed to drastically reduce meltdowns, high anxiety, and extreme/explosive behaviors in a few weeks by addressing the underlying causes and respecting the autistic experience.

Website: www.autismcrisisturnaround.com

Location: Worldwide: Online Live Zoom Course

Contact: contact@autismcrisisturnaround.com

AUTISM SPECTRUM RESOURCES FOR MARRIAGE & FAMILY, LLC

We know your family is a system, and often more than one person may be neurodiverse (ADHD, ASD, or other learning differences). We coach parents and marriages while including faith. Courses are available for parents who have a child newly diagnosed or transitioning into adolescents. Upon completing a course, we coach you through your next steps or connect you with another coach who may better fit your family situation. Dr. Holmes and her husband, Dan, coach NeuroDiverse couples (where one partner or both are on the spectrum).

Website: www.HolmesASR.com

Location: Atlanta, GA, but we use Zoom for Meetings

Contact: dr.stephanie@holmesasr.com

NEURODIVERSE CHRISTIAN COUPLES PODCAST

We have free resources for you in articles and blogs, and our weekly podcasts aimed at helping NeuroDiverse Christian Couples move from surviving to thriving and embracing the neurodiversity in their marriage! We have courses for couples as well who are new to their discovery of neurodiversity in their marriage. If you are not ready for couples’ work, we have group coaching for men and women and meet-up groups for couples! Find out more at our website. You are not alone in your journey, and there is hope for YOUR future!

Website: https://www.mentalhealthnewsradionetwork.com/our-shows/neurodiverse-christian-couples/

Find our complete catalog of over 100 episodes! Our focus is autism or neurodiversity in marriage. You can find out more at: www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com

NEUROSHIFTS

Many families in the Autism/Neurodiverse community are living in a place of fear, stress and worry about their future. Neuroshifts empowers individuals and families to achieve greater emotional, mental and spiritual well-being by providing them with simple tools and techniques they need to live a joy-filled “Green Zone” Life!

Website: www.neuro-shifts.org

Location: Tampa, Florida

Contact: Vicky Westra

Phone: 813-251-2787

ROLLINS COUNSELING, LLC

Rollins Counseling LLC serves families in South Carolina and offers therapeutic services for neurodivergent adolescents & adults. Tosha Rollins is the published author of Autismology An Autism Dictionary, public speaker, and autism training consultant.

Website: https://tosharollins.com/

Location: Upstate Carolina Counseling Associates

405 A East 1st Ave, Easley SC 29640

Contact: Tosha D. Rollins, MA, LPC, ASDCS

Phone: 864-644-8251

THE CLINIC FOR SPECIAL CHILDREN

The Clinic for Special Children was founded by Dr. Karen Harum, MD, FAAP, to provide accurate diagnosis, whole child treatments, specialty care, and consultation for children with developmental disabilities and behavioral problems, including special expertise in the neuroscience of learning and autism.

Website: www.clinicforspecialchildren.net

Location: 432 Eastwood Road, Ste 200, Wilmington NC, 28403

Contact: reception@clinicforspecialchildren.net

Phone: 910-319-7744

THE SCENT GURU GROUP

Our mission is to improve the quality of life through the sense of smell with the MindScent® multi-sensory kit--considered to be invaluable to many Speech Therapists using it in their practice. We are committed to help people with diverse and life-challenging afflictions such as dementia and speech communication impairments such as autism.

Website: https://thescentgurugroup.com

Location: Atlanta, GA

Contact: Ruth Sutcliffe

Phone: 404-376-2806

THE SOCIAL LEARNING CENTER

The Social Learning Center was founded in 2009 based on a need Dr. Abildgaard recognized early in his career when working with individuals with autism spectrum disorders (ASD). Since opening its doors, the SLC has grown to offer a range of therapeutic services, including social cognitive groups, mental health counseling, educational consultation, professional development, executive function coaching, and parent advocacy.

Website: www.sociallearingcenter.org

Location: Cheshire, CT

Contact: Lois Silver, Office Manager Phone: 203-250-0305

VOICES OF CHANGE

Voices of Change 2018 is a national organization piloting its groundbreaking programs in Ohio. Their mission is to reduce the risk of abuse, neglect, and exploitation of children with disabilities. They are building a foundation for advocacy, awareness, resources, and support for children with disabilities and their families.

Website: https://www.voicesofchange2018.org

Location: United States

Contact: Nicole Moehring, Founder, Executive Director Phone: 440-864-7074

YOUR AUTISM COACH, LLC

Your Autism Coach, LLC provides comprehensive support programs and seminars for parents and families of special needs children and adults. Deanna Picon is an award-winning writer and author of The Autism Parents’ Guide to Reclaiming Your Life. Her mission is to empower parents as they advocate for their children.

Website: www.yourautismcoach.com

Location: New York City

Contact: Deanna Picon

Phone: 347-869-4705

FINANCIAL PLANNING

A SPECIAL NEEDS PLAN

A Special Needs Plan Inc. is a nationwide special needs planning advisory firm founded to serve special needs families often struggling with the worry that comes with planning for the future care and financial well-being of their loved ones.

Website: www.aspecialneedsplan.com

Location: 101 N. McDowell St., Ste. 120, Charlotte, NC 28204

Contact: info@aspecialneedsplan.com

Phone: 704-326-7910

TECHNOLOGY

Low to mid-tech AAC products and accessories, iPad keyguards and cradles, device mounting systems, Braille learning and labeling systems and a supportive community for parents and SLP’s.

Website: www.logantech.com

Location: Waterbury, CT

Contact: Sales

Phone: (866) 962-0966

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1. Who is going to take care of your child after you are gone and where will they live?

2. How much will that care cost and how are you going to pay for that care?

3. Do you have a special needs trust and do you know how much money you will need in it? How are you going to fund it? How are the funding instruments taxed when you die?

4. What government benefits are available to your child and how do you apply for them?

5. What is the Medicaid waiver and how do you apply for it?

6. How will you communicate your plan to family members?