Issue 107 - March 2011 by Exposure

A HARINGEY YOUTH PUBLICATION

free

Mar 2011

£0.00

issue 107

Gabriel Calderwood Kieren Andrew reviewer/writer reviewer/illustratos r

Bao Ky Tran illustrator

Natasha Minto writer/illustrator

Eduardo Christoph concept designer er

Sam Hatter writer

y Jack Crowle writer

Guldem Masa writer

Matty Moss Kendall writer

Dervis Ucur concept designer

Pedro De Freitas writer

Mary Gallagh writer/illustra er tor

Kristina Volchkova writer

Lambros Markou photographer

The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park, N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260 Fax: 020 8883 2906 Mob: 07947 884 282 Email: info@exposure.org.uk Website: www.exposure.org.uk Regrettably our office is inaccessible to wheelchair users but we will nevertheless make every effort to include your contributions

Rachel Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T o Hawkins pooleet

Printed by TIP Limited 07590 850 532 Andreas Koumi: Manager Gary Flavell: Editor Luke Pantelidou: Designer Flo Codjoe: Development officer Mirella Issaias: Mind Journeys project Max Sycamore: Video Editor & IT Enrico Tessarin: Video Manager

Disclaimer Exposure aims to give young people an independent voice which can contribute to the democratic process. While Exposure has done its best to check material contained within this publication, we cannot accept responsibility for inaccurate information provided by outside organisations. Organisations mentioned are not necessarily connected with nor endorsed by Exposure. Permission has been sought, wherever possible, for the use of copyright material. Where contact has not been possible we hope that, as a voluntary organisation helping to educate and inform young people, it is acceptable for Exposure to use such material for the benefit of young people.

Issue 107

March 2011

Exposure is free and open to anyone aged 13 to 19 living in or around Haringey. If you want to get into journalism, design or film-making, get involved.

l u f h t ng u o Y inki th Pedro De Freitas

Exposure would like to offer our deepest sympathies to the family of Pedro De Freitas. Pedro passed away on 1st January 2011 after a long battle with cancer. Read his article on page 8-9. ‘Preparing young people for the world that can be.’ That has been Exposure’s catchphrase for over ten years. We didn’t realised how apt it would become. The skills that young people pick up by attending our project will be essential in preparing them for a world that has become extremely unforgiving. Projects are being shut down. People are losing their jobs. Youth unemployment has never been higher, and it costs more to go to university than ever before.

It’s not enough to get good grades at GCSE or A Level. You need to show that you’re willing to work harder than the rest. We can help you do that at Exposure. Exposure is working harder also. Over the last couple of months we’ve been redesigning our website to go with our newfound determination to survive. Visit www.exposure.org.uk to see what we’ve done. Other news saw Exposure editing a designing a page in the Ham & High newspaper for a second time. We’ve also received a gift of £100 from Waitrose in Crouch End. And we’ve secured our first commercial job, creating promotional material for Bank of Cyprus UK! Sound good? Call 020 8883 0260 to get involved, or to find out more.

Hornsey Parochial Garfield Weston Foundation

reviews

BLACK SWAN Black Swan is a psychological drama about a ballerina called Nina (Natalie Portman) going through a breakdown as she attempts to cope with the pressures of her work. There is no way to describe this film other than it is completely riveting, extremely intense, and gives you every feeling ranging from fear, confusion, anger, ecstasy, and even arousal. The acting is top notch, and I wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t be surprised if Natalie Portman wins an Oscar for her role. Overall this is one of the best, if not THE best film of the year. In fact itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one of the top films of all time and a MUST see for anyone interested in anything! Be warned though, it is not advisable to watch Black Swan if you are under the influence of any psychological drugs. 4

By Gabriel Calderwood

Gabriel

Kieren

127 HOURS 127 Hours is a true story of a young climber, Aron Ralston, retold through the vision of Oscar winning director, Danny Boyle. Ralston, played by James Franco, gets trapped in an Isolated canyon after a fallen boulder collapses on his arm. The situation becomes more desperate when he realises that he has not told anybody where he was going. With means of survival looking slim Ralston has nothing to do over the next five days but consider his options. 127 Hours is heart griping movie that is much more than a man trapped under a rock waiting to die. The film explores the depths of the human soul and gives a deeper meaning of the word loneliness. It shows how we take things for granted, and how we should be grateful for our every day life. I enjoyed 127 hours and you will to if you enjoy movies with deep story and character development. Be warned this film is not for the faint hearted; it contains some extremely gory scenes.

Kieren Andrews

BLUE VALENTINE Blue Valentine is a contemporary love story about a young married couple directed and written by Derek Cianfrance. The narrative is broken into two parts: the couple falling in love, and several years later when their relationship has become more strained. Ryan Gosling plays the husband, Dean, and Michelle Williams plays his wife, Cindy. The actors have great chemistry with each other, no doubt reinforcing rumours that the pair share a real life relationship â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Williams is especially convincing, and has received an Oscar nomination for her performance. The film, at times, feels almost claustrophobic and incredibly personal, which allows the audience to have greater understanding of the characters. It is an untypical love story, which is far more realistic than the usual glammed up Hollywood affair. Blue Valentine is in parts difficult to watch, and yet the director has made a visually beautiful, and largely enjoyable film.

Amelia Dillingham 5

Concept by Dervis Ucur

Jack

CCTV is seedy says Jack Crowley According to a Government watchdog, the average Londoner is caught on Closed Circuit Television (CCTV) 300 times a day. You’ve been watched as you pick your nose, trip on a curb, talk to your friends, and kiss your partner. You can’t move through the capital without being monitored. Eyes are on you at all times. An Evening Standard article stated that Britain has a total of 4.2 million CCTV cameras capturing our every movement – that’s one for every 14 people. 20% of the world’s CCTV cameras are in the UK, but only 1% of the world’s population lives here. Why do we need to be watched so diligently? One of the main problems I have with CCTV is the feeling of being monitored by the ‘powers that be’. There seems to be an inherent lack of trust between ‘us and them’. A ‘you-can’t-behave-unlessyou’re-being-watched’ type thing. It also echoes the themes in George Orwell’s book Nineteen Eighty-Four which describes a world where no one is free

Dervis

someone gets his kicks from watching you. Although this is obviously a rare example, it’s worrying that equipment so small and easy to hide is readily available to the public. If CCTV is about preventing crime, why wouldn’t you want a criminal to know they are being filmed? However, it has to be said that CCTV has proved to be a useful tool in crime fighting. According to ePolotix.com, a website that encourages comment on parliamentary matters, “In 2008 Scotland Yard dealt with 90 murder cases, and in 65 of those cases footage from cameras was used to identify and catch the killer(s).” However a 2008 Guardian article stated that only 3% of street crime was solved using CCTV footage. So perhaps there is a need for CCTV, and it can make a vital difference to some police investigations. But are both our privacy and the cost of maintaining and operating CCTV cameras worth the resulting reduction in crime? Admittedly I have never been the victim of a crime where CCTV could potentially make a crucial difference in the outcome. Perhaps an incident like this would change my perception of modern

Only 3% of street crime was solved using CCTV day surveillance culture. footage from constant supervision in an effort to control the masses. It’s also worrying because we can never know how the footage of us is being used? And at what point is our own space private? It’s not just government and corporations that are obsessed with CCTV. Many people in Britain are also now choosing to install CCTV systems in their houses to protect themselves and their properties. And they are also using cameras for their own unsavoury purposes. In 2009, The Daily Mail reported that a man was charged with 12 cases of voyeurism (secretly watching others’ behaviour for pleasure) after he rigged his holiday home with secret surveillance cameras in smoke alarms. Imagine enjoying yourself on holiday, while

Britain is supposedly a free nation, but the presence of CCTV cameras on every corner contradicts this. CCTV has become so embedded in our society that the ethics of how it is used is beyond debate. There has to be limits, certainly some restrictions that would prevent each of us being captured every other minute of the day. An effective way of dealing with crime is to encourage people to report to the police when they witness something. If the public were more aware and socially conscious then maybe the need for cameras would decrease – people would, in effect, replace them. This would reinforce a sense of community, uniting people against crime rather than relying on CCTV. Meanwhile, smile: You’re on camera.

For advice on this or any other issue see the list of local services in the directory on p23

Pedro De Freitas on coping with terminal illness

Pedro

“You’ve got cancer.” Three horrifying words that nobody wants to hear, especially a teenager. Yet, according to the teenage cancer trust, six young people in the UK learn that they have this horrible illness everyday. I am one of those young people. This is the third time I’ve had to battle cancer. I’ve been fighting it on and off since I was two-years-old. I’ve been through chemotherapy and radiotherapy, which are both intense and aggressive ways to treat the disease. They make you feel awful. As well as having to cope with the treatments and strong medication, I’ve lost my hair, I’m rarely hungry, and I frequently have low blood levels due to the treatment. Dealing with all that and the stresses of being a normal teenager is difficult. Even though I have cancer I

on my family and I. However I don’t dwell on this or let it put me down. It makes it easier to appreciate those who do care. During my life, I’ve also had to deal with the stigma of being ill, and at times I’ve encountered prejudice. When I was younger my parents applied for a disabled badge for me, and from that, we had years of prejudice from people, at times even including close family. At the time you couldn’t see from looking at me how my disability affected my life. I think they were very suspicious of my needs and why we needed a disabled badge. I started noticing comments and remarks; I used to get very shy and upset that my mum was questioned about my condition. As I grew older that shyness turned to anger, and I would just shout

I believe in looking forward and embracing the positive things in life, even when times are less out, ‘I’ve got cancer!’ in frustration. favourable still have to complete coursework, meet deadlines, get good GCSE grades, and keep my social life up-to-date. I have found not being able to attend school everyday the hardest thing to cope with. I love going in, and it hasn’t been easy accepting that I have to stay at home when I’m feeling poorly. It doesn’t feel right for me to be at home or in hospital when I should be studying for my GCSE courses. As you might imagine, the problems I have to deal with are difficult to handle, and I struggle sometimes. However, many people have helped me through my difficulties, especially my family, a few close friends and some charities. I am very grateful and thankful for their support; they have cared for me, especially through the more difficult times in my life. While many people have helped me, there are a few who continue to disregard my illness, and have turned their backs 8

Funnily enough since I’ve started using my wheelchair, I don’t recall ever getting questioned for using disabled parking spaces. It seems people often need the visual impact of a mobility aid before they accept or understand someone’s disability. Suffering with cancer has obviously been very hard and challenging. Living with cancer is difficult. But I believe in looking forward to and embracing the positive things in life, even when times are less favourable. I look back on my problematic experiences with positivity and I believe it has made me a better and stronger person, both physically and mentally. This article is dedicated to the memory of the people I that had the privilege to meet during my journey with cancer: Drew, Jack, Amy, Hannah and Parys. Pedro De Freitas sadly passed away on 1st January 2011.

For advice on this or any other issue see the list of local services in the directory on p23

Pedro

Written by Kristina Volchkova, Sam Hatter & Gabriel Calderwood. Illustrated by Kieren Andrews.

I’m really shy. I find it impossible to talk to people I don’t know. I have friends at school, and I’m okay with them, but anyone else I just close up. There is a girl I like, but I’ll never have the courage to talk to her.

I’m convinced people are staring at me. I’ve spoken to my friends and family and they tell me that I’m imagining it. It’s getting to the point where I don’t want to go out. I think there may be something wrong with the way I look. Most young people feel selfconscious when they are the focus of attention. And it is difficult to feel confident when you don’t feel good about yourself. Try to think exactly what you feel is wrong with you, as you don’t seem able to take in the positive comments from friends and family. It seems as though you have got yourself into a negative way of thinking that is hard to change. Talking to family and friends has not changed the way you feel. It might be a good idea to seek help from a counsellor who might be able to help you think about your worries and work with you towards developing a more realistic and positive sense of self.

Take some time to think about your good points. Try to realise that no one is perfect; everyone struggles with friendships, especially relationships. Meeting people or approaching girls is difficult for most boys, so you need to allow yourself to develop your social skills without worrying too much about what others will think of you. Of course approaching a girl that you like is difficult but it’s worth thinking about why you are scared. Naturally there is the fear of rejection. Taking the plunge is always risky and sadly, there is no guarantee that she will like you back. The most important thing is how you manage the experience and how it makes you feel about yourself. One rejection, if it happens, does not mean that you cannot attract a girlfriend. Sometimes trying new things can in itself help you to feel more confident and the more often you try the easier it may become.

Kristina

Sam

Gabriel

Kieren

Open Door counselling service provides the answers to the problems featured in Agony. Call them on 020 8348 5947, email enquiries@opendooronline.org or visit www.opendooronline.org

I’m unhappy all the time. I find it difficult to get out of bed. I don’t know why. I have a loving family, a nice house, my parents have money, and I do well at school. And yet I’m unhappy. The first step is for you to accept that your feelings are valid and important. Maybe talking to family or friends about how you feel may help you to understand your unhappiness. Everyone feels unhappy sometimes, but you feel this way all the time, and that in itself seems to make you feel worse. This unhappiness is clearly affecting your life to the point where you do not want to get out of bed and so, should be taken seriously. Talking to a counsellor in a service such as Open Door could help you to find the cause of your unhappiness, and attempt to give you the help you need to find a way forward.

I’m 18 and I’m preparing to leave for university in September. I thought I would be okay with it all, but the closer it comes the more anxious I am. If I think about it too much I start panicking. Talk to friends and family about how you feel. You may be surprised how many people will understand or even share your anxiety about going to Uni. Breaking down panic and anxiety into the specific focused worries might help you to better manage your feeIings. It is natural to feel panic about coping with the new demands without your friends and family. Think about approaching a service like Open Door to support you through the transition. Also universities usually offer a range of student support services to help new students.

Everyone’s got problems – see the Directory on page 23 for a list of support services. 11

Gallery

Bao Ky

Sonic action breaker Digital illustration. Photoshop

By Bao Ky Tran Send your artwork to: Exposure, The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ or email: luke@exposure.org.uk. 12

Gallery

Natasha

Angel Illustration in memory of Pedro De Freitas. Photoshop

By Natasha Minto

Send your artwork to: Exposure, The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ or email: luke@exposure.org.uk. 13

Natasha Minto bares her teeth at dangerous dogs and their owners A few months ago a gang of thugs with a dog chased me. The dog was on a lead and they were running with it. I could hear the snarling, barking and gnashing at my feet as I fled. I feared for my life. A dog that is owned by a person because it looks ‘tough’ or ‘hard’ is called a ‘status animal’. In certain circles owning such a dog, like a Staffordshire Bull Terrier or a Pit Bull, will increase social standing. The dogs are often mistreated to become aggressive on command. According to the Metropolitan Police, young men are most commonly responsible for keeping dangerous dogs. The most violent breeds are banned in the UK. To get around this, breeders are mating illegal dogs like Pit Bulls, with more placid breeds like Staffs and Bull 14

Mastiffs. However police do have the power to seize any dog they believe to be dangerous. And the Dangerous Dog Act 1991 says that you can serve up to six months in prison and be fined £5,000 just for owning a banned breed of dog. These dogs are not just being used to intimidate others. Recent statistics from the RSPCA prove that dog fighting is becoming more popular, especially among young people. They found that in 2010, 66% of all calls to them about dog fighting described young people as being responsible. This compares with 37% in 2007. Sickeningly these fights are often filmed on mobile phones, and uploaded to the internet. There are many gangs with dogs in my area. It has reached a stage where I’m afraid that I’ll be bitten or chased every time I go out. But why should I have to live like that? Why should certain areas be off limits because there may be a dog there ready to attack? Why, as reported in the Haringey Independent, should a

Natasha

blind man be savaged by a status dog so badly that he needed 24 stitches to close his wounds? To combat the problem, the Metropolitan Police set up a ‘status dogs unit’ four years ago. So far, it has proven effective, with the number of dangerous dogs seized rocketing from 40 in 2006 to ‘over a 1000’ in 2010. So why are these thugs

for example, are ‘a good all round family pet’. Any dog can be good if it’s trained well, and kept on it’s lead. But you can’t rely on people’s good nature to treat dogs right to solve this problem. Micro chipping, dog licenses and dog insurance should be made compulsory for all dog owners. Essentially it should cost to legally own a dog,

It has reached a stage where I’m afraid that I’ll be bitten or chased every time I go out not deterred? Perhaps the punishments are not severe enough. The sentences for carrying a knife is two to four years in prison, and a gun is a minimum of five years. And yet owners get only 6 months for owning a dog that can be used as a weapon. It’s important to be clear that the dog itself is not to blame, but rather the irresponsible owners. Most dogs are great companions. According to the Kennel Club, which runs the Crufts Show, Staffs,

and you are directly responsible for the actions of your dog. Police would be able to check whether a dog is insured in the same way they can with cars, and confiscate or hand on-the-spot fines to dog owners without the right documentation. If you see someone mistreating a dog, or if a dog is acting aggressively in public, contact the RSPCA’s cruelty line on 0300 1234 999 or call the police.

For advice on this or any other issue see the list of local services in the directory on p23

FINDING EMO Guldem Masa cuts out self-harming

In 2007, The Daily Mail reported that 13-year-old Hannah Bond committed suicide. She was found hanging in her room. Some people blamed the ‘Emo’ music scene for her death. The newspaper stated that, “Hannah was a follower of the band My Chemical Romance and previously cut herself as an initiation into the Emo scene.” Hannah’s parents believed the band’s lyrics promoted self-harm and suicide. The Emo stereotype is a moody teenager with tight jeans and a distinctive haircut who listens to rock music. But you’re not Emo just because you wear the right clothes and listen to the right bands. Emo is an abbreviation of the

shape me as a person. In my first year of secondary school I discovered rock music. I would sit in my room for hours listening to roaring guitars and deafening drums blasting through my headphones. The lyrics I related to most were those that screamed about tragedy and desolation. I felt that music was the only thing that understood the way I felt. The Emo scene intrigued me. I loved the clothes, the hairstyles, and the music. It was finally something I felt a part of, like I belonged. But it wasn’t long before I realised something was wrong. Surfing the internet one day, I came across a website which claimed to ‘teach you how to be Emo.’ It was there that I discovered the darker side to a scene that I previously thought was innocent. I found detailed

I found detailed descriptions on how to self-harm descriptions on how to self-harm ‘the ‘the right way’ right way’. There was information about word ‘emotional’ – it’s a state of mind, not a fashion statement. My Emo journey began at primary school. I often felt confused and introverted. I was extremely awkward in social situations. I had friends, but they were all loud and confident, and seemed happier than I felt. I didn’t know who or what I wanted to be, and I felt weird in my own skin. As I grew older, I went through countless phases. I felt I needed to dress a certain way or listen to certain music in order to have an identity. I was drawn into many different sub cultures. Even though none felt right, they all helped 16

suicide methods, and even how to write a goodbye letter. These websites negatively influence the many people in the Emo scene that feel ‘lost’ and introduce them to a very dark world. Shocked and disgusted, I stepped away. I still listen to the music, and I like the fashion, but I distance myself from a label I once wore so proudly. I’m glad that I was able to see the potentially damaging side of the Emo lifestyle. Given the way I succumbed to other lifestyles, I could have easily become embroiled in reckless activities. I’m lucky. However, I know it’s not that easy for other young people. According to

For advice on this or any other issue see the list of local services in the directory on p23

Guldem

NHS, approximately one in ten teenagers self harm, and one in five people have admitted to turning to self-harm at some point in their lives. In my experience, self-harm happens because young people feel it helps them cope. But there are the few who do it because they see it as part of the Emo scene they so desperately want to be a part of. If you’re going through a tough time,

just remember that you’re not alone. Self-harm is not a solution, and there’s better ways of coping. Talk to a close friend or a trusting adult about how you’re feeling. Also there are professional services experienced in helping teenagers that self-harm. And remember ‘fitting in’ isn’t everything, being yourself is much more important. I’ve found myself, so can you.

Childline know lots about helping young people who self-harm call them on 0800 1111

Concept by Eduardo Christopher

Mary Gallagher finds the right words ‘Iam vos teneo quam ego senito.’ Did you understand that? Its mean’s ‘now you know how I feel.’ I am 17 years old, and I can’t read and write. It’s not because I’m stupid. I have dyslexia and my mind works differently when looking at words and numbers. Dyslexia is common and affects one in ten people in the UK. Not being able to read or write prevents me from doing a huge number of different things. Travelling to college is a nightmare, as maps and transport signs are obviously no help to me. Going somewhere new can be exhausting and scary. So I hear it’s hard to find a job these days. Imagine if you can’t even read the job vacancies, send emails or reply to a text? Imagine not being able to read a menu at lunch, or finding the food you want to eat at the supermarket without being able to read any of the labels. 18

Having severe dyslexia means that my parents are also my carers. I need them to be my eyes, to read stuff for me. Moving out would mean depending on my own without being able to understand addresses, contracts or bills. The thought of losing my parents scares me so much that I feel the pressure might be too much for me. And how will I support my kids in the future? How will I teach them to read? I missed out on a lot of learning at school. I feel that teachers didn’t properly support me. People at school treated me as if I was stupid and bullied me. They knocked my confidence so badly that I started believing I was stupid. Eventually my dyslexia left me feeling so depressed and demoralised that I gave up on learning altogether. It wasn’t just the students that made school difficult. I once had a supply teacher – who didn’t know about my dyslexia – that tried to force me into reading aloud to the class. I explained that I couldn’t, but she thought I was lying and being difficult to get out of it.

For advice on this or any other issue see the list of local services in the directory on p23

Mary

Eduardo Matty

Photo by Matty Moss Kendall My classmates knew I couldn’t read, but still told the teacher I could. I walked out, not knowing what else to do. It was one of the worst days of my life. School eventually ended and my life has improved. I have met people who

to notice my skill as an illustrator. The more this happened the more I was aware of my creativity. I believe, despite my dyslexia, that I am a talented cartoonist and I have found a way to express myself.

Eventually my dyslexia left me feeling so depressed and demoralised that I gave up on l I doubt I would have focused so much learning altogether on drawings if I wasn’t dyslexia. understand dyslexia, who talk about it positively. I’ve met new teachers at college who understand me and give me encouragement; they’ve helped me rebuild my confidence. I also discovered that plenty of successful people have dyslexia. From Hollywood A listers like Tom Cruise and Robin Williams to great artists like Picasso and Leonardo da Vinci. These famous people focused on expressing themselves and being creative. I began drawing to deflect attention away from what I couldn’t do. I became pretty good, and gradually people began

I am concentrating on the doors that are open to me now. People with learning difficulties have immense talents, they just have to think differently about themselves to find out what they are. These talents, combined with a determination harnessed through struggle, mean that I have learnt to concentrate on my strengths and know that I can do anything now. Despite my fears, there is hope for the future, for me and everyone else who struggles with dyslexia. For help and guidance, or to find out more, visit www.bdadyslexia.org.uk. This article was produced with support from Julia Caird 19

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what’s By Matty Moss Kendall

Matty

Lambros

Photo by Lambros Markou

ON THICK ICE Alexandra Palace Ice Rink reopened in January, sliding back into the public’s hearts after nine months of refurbishment. The £2.3 million makeover was spent, among other things, on getting the ice as flat as possible. Which makes a welcome change from the bumps and hills of the old rink, and helps bring back the skating experience that Alexandra Palace was famous for. There was a grand re-opening event, and Exposure, along with members of the public, bore witness to some of Britain’s very best professional figure skaters. There were some stunning routines, which were both beautiful and exciting, including a 13-minute long mini-show by the Palace Foundations, a team of local young skaters, which was funny as it was impressive. Councillor Pat Egan, chair of the Alexandra Palace & Park Charitable trust board, sure thinks it’s been worth it, describing the opening of the rink as “a rebirth of a legend.” He also thanked people for supporting the changes to the rink adding that it was a, “team effort through good times and bad and the problems we faced we overcame with time.” Rebecca Crane, Managing Director for Ally Pally also praised the opening of the new rink and expressed her hopes for the future, saying hopefully, “It would attract a lot of young adults to take up skating now that we have a new rink.” So here’s to many more years of slipping and crashing around on the ice. Juniors can skate for £6 and adults for a £7 and the rink is open seven days a week. Let’s just hope that we’ve seen the end of those pesky bumps and hills. 22

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