issue71

the award winning...

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www.exposure.org.uk A HARINGEY YOUTH PUBLICATION

free SEPT 04

ISSUE 71

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ISSUE #71 SEPT 2004 WHERE WE ARE The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282 E-mail: editor@exposure.org.uk, Web: www.exposure.org.uk OPENING TIMES Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday

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AWARDS Winners of: London Electricity Londoner of the Year Award Nationwide Award for Voluntary Endeavour Phillip Lawrence Award Ed & F Man Award for Best London Youth Publication ADVERTISING If your organisation wants to get its message across to young people call 020 8883 0260 PRINTERS Miter Press Ltd, Miter House, 150 Rosebery Avenue, N17 9SR Tel: 020 8808 9776 DISCLAIMER Exposure aims to give young people an independent voice which can contribute to the democratic process. We apologise for any offence caused by the way young people choose to express themselves.

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“exposure’s open to anyone between 14 and 21 living in and around haringey. If you’ve got something to say, come and get involved” STAFF Andreas Koumi Jon Golds Enrico Tessarin

Michael Rally David Warrington Liz Millar

BREAK FORMATION

While Exposure has done its best to check material contained within this publication, we cannot accept responsibility for inaccurate information provided by outside organisations.

Organisations mentioned are not necessarily connected with nor endorsed by Exposure.

Anyone arriving at the Exposure office, furiously slavering, fingers clawing the air, feverish eyes stretching the optic nerve to the point of separation from their grotesque, demented brains, is asked to sit down and quietly fill in a form before setting about their monstrous work.

Permission has been sought, wherever possible, for the use of copyright material. Where contact has not been possible we hope that, as a voluntary organisation helping to educate and inform young people, it is acceptable for Exposure to use such material for the benefit of young people. If this is not the case please let us know and any such copyright material will be removed from future publications with our apologies.

The form is for people who have never been here to find out who the people that do come here are. And from the big stack of forms collected since last September it seems the typical young person at Exposure isn’t really a rabid rattle-bag of panic.

is a registered trademark of Exposure Organisation Limited, registered in England no.

3455480, registered charity no.

1073922. Patron, Toby Harris GLA (Lord Harris of Haringey) The views expressed in Exposure do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. (c) 2003. All rights reserved.

ISSN 1362-8585

As many girls as boys come: the girls come for Nick May (pictured), the boys to find out what he knows. For every white person, there’s a black or mixed race person and someone from some other ethnic group (like

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Gary Flavell Ryan Alexander Mirella Parletta

Asian, Turkish, Kurdish, Greek or Jewish). They’re probably 15 to 17 years old and twice as likely to come from Wood Green or Tottenham than Muswell Hill or Crouch End. But what can a pile of paper teach you, except that you should try and see things for yourself. And when you’ve seen so much your brain swells and your skull starts to crack under the pressure, let it blast across a page in the magazine. Just fill in the form first.

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CONTENTS luke

JACK AND KILL - 04 A short story by Ike Enenmoh.

Design by Luke Pantelidou.

ARE THE STREETS THE REAL BB -

06

Who’s watching J.J. Boothe?

tasneem

ZOMBIE EATERS - 08 Tasneem Ghanchi on the war in the playground.

Illustrations by The Undead.

GET DOWN - 12 Fiona lives under a dark cloud.

migkey

SCREEMAGER - 14 Is being teenage a mean age, by Mickey Blue Turnbull.

Photography by Nick May.

nick

leila

MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS - 10 Leila Serrao on whether boys and girls can just be friends.

UNDER EXPOSURE - Homophobia

selina

MUSE - 15 Poems by Ike Enenmoh, Kemi Foshoro and Selina Osib.

READERS BLOCK -

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david

GETTING LIPPY - 16 David Warrington gets inside women’s underwear.

Illustration by Trevor Sylvester.

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ENIGMA -

mavis

Mavis Ang, for books’ sake.

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“

semra

Lauren Read autoreplies.

ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE - 22 The European Social Forum comes to Alexandra Palace.

semra

BRAIN JUICE - 23 A crossword by Semra Kati.

EVENT HORIZON -

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REFLECTIONS...

Nobody’s got one good word for the younger generation today but all they need’s the threat of death to get them going

”

Tom O’Bedlam The Invisibles, Vol.1: ‘Say You Want A Revolution’

What’s hip and happening in Haringey. *regrettably our office is inaccessible to wheelchair users but we will nonetheless make every effort to include your contributions.

The Tottenham Grammar School Foundation

Hornsey Parochial Trust

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A SHORT STORY BY IKE ENENMOH DESIGN & ILLUSTRATION BY LUKE PANTELIDOU ME AND MY BOYS WENT DOWN ENFIELD TOWN TO MAKE SOME CASH. OUR POCKETS HAD BEEN FEELING KIND OF EMPTY. We were all chilling down by Eros nightclub looking to jack any of the boys that kotch round there. We didn’t see anyone worth robbing so we sparked up a couple of spiffs. Man I was so buzzing.

We all had the munchies to the fullest so we went to a newsagents. The shopkeeper was bare rude: ‘one at a time, one at a time’. He even told me to get out of his shop. I wasn’t having that so I boxed him on his chin and took a fat bottle of Sprite, a couple of top-up cards and a pack of cigarettes for my compensation.

We rinsed out all the munch we took and then went back to Eros. When we arrived we saw some boys kotchin’ with these buff girls. My bredren Jermaine was feeling one of the girls so he stepped to her but she didn’t feel the same way. Her man was getting vex and told Jermaine to move off his girl. Now I don’t know wagwan in these ends but people round here need to learn some respect.

Jermaine whipped out the fattest knife

the girls had bare pace.

My bredren were getting bored so they decided to go, but not me. My pockets were still empty. I went back to the newsagents to thief some more munch but when I got there I saw two feds so I quickly left that scene.

It was about 1am when I saw one of the boys we chiefed earlier. I went to see if I could get a little cash or any goods. Before I even said anything the boy pulled out a shooter. That was when I got scared. This boy was fuming. He was ranting and raving saying that I was scum and he was going to kill me. I wasn’t going to stick around to see if he was serious so I bolted towards the newsagents.

Next thing I know I’m laying in a hospital with a hole in my chest. I knew I’d been

“NEXT THING I KNOW I’M LAYING IN A HOSPITAL WITH A HOLE IN MY shot. I was in so much pain.

CHEST. I KNEW I’D BEEN SHOT” I’ve ever seen and went to slice the guy.

Luckily for him Jermaine was as high as a bird and completely missed. Those boys ran back to their yards like they were on the athletics team or something, even

04

The police came in and started asking me questions about what happened.

Even though I was in so much pain I still wasn’t a snitch so I just muttered: ‘I don’t know.’

A nurse took me into theatre. After the

luke

operation the police were in again. I shouted at them but it sounded more like a whisper. ‘What do you want? I already told you I don’t know who it was.’

But they weren’t here about that.

‘Jerome Otira, You are under arrest for the assault of Mr. Abdul Patel, theft and possession of cannabis.’ They started going on about my rights and all that. I was just like, damn, I’m going to jail.

By the time my trial came around I was on remand in Feltham. I’ll tell you, this you do not want to go to Feltham. Bare sick heads in that manor, trust.

My mum came and told me that she

wasn’t going to see me anymore. She was not the best of mums but I loved her and that’s when it hit me: the lifestyle I was living was not just affecting me, it was affecting others including those I love. Well I didn’t exactly say that but it was kind of like that.

My dad had run off with some woman.

My brother doesn’t want to know me.

Not one of my friends came to visit. They all said that if I’d been carrying a shooter I could have defended myself.

Idiots.

The feds never caught the guy that shot me and I’m the one on the other side of the bars.

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ARE THE STREETS

BY J.J. BOOTHE

ARE YOU A YOUNG BLACK MALE? UP TO DATE WITH THE LATEST FASHION? ARE YOU FED UP OF BEING WATCHED AS IF YOU’RE GOING TO ROB A BANK? That’s exactly how I feel every time I cross a street, get on a bus or sit in a restaurant. I’ve endured this sort of attitude ever since I was a small boy.

I’m constantly followed around in shops, receive dirty looks from elderly people when I offer to hold a door for them and the police slow down to check if I’m doing something suspicious.

Checking up on people is their job but it gets ridiculous when it happens all the time. It makes me feel like I’m in the wrong for something.

I talked to two black males and they both told me they had experienced over-the-top security measures while shopping. They are not criminals they’re both planning for higher education at university to achieve their goals - but, like me, they find it uncomfortable in predominantly white areas.

I didn’t know what it was before and I’d look for every excuse but racism, mainly because people can take things too far with the routine “Is it because I’m black?” But I’ve grown to understand what people really feel.

But why should I receive the funny looks for something another black male has done? If there is a white rapist on TV, then he is looked at as an individual but if that person is black then I feel guilty. But why? It feels like ‘us’ versus ‘them’.

People think that because my trousers are slightly saggy, my slang is different to theirs and my skin is black I must be somebody that goes out mugging people often. The worst thing is that I know why they think this.

Terms like ‘wigger’, ‘coconut’ and ‘bounty’ and constant criticism about people not being in touch with their roots make racial integration impossible. They put people down and make them feel outcast because they

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THE REAL BB?

“IF THERE IS A WHITE RAPIST ON TV THEN HE IS LOOKED AT AS AN INDIVIDUAL BUT IF THAT PERSON IS BLACK THEN I FEEL GUILTY”

black people. We were all for this sort of social segregation.

While my cousin was going on with the usual taunting I saw my sister upset, even though she tried to hide it from me. I realised I upset my own sister over something petty.

Now I’ve started to notice things on the road and at school. I no longer try and put people down for trying to speak any sort of slang, listening to a genre of music or wearing any type of clothes. are not allowed to be who they would like to be: themselves.

When I was younger I used to constantly call my little sister a bounty because she used to hang around with no black people at all. My cousins joined in and any chance we had we used to put her down. It was our unsophisticated way of trying to encourage her to hang around with

People should be allowed to express themselves and act any way they want, if it’s not offensive. And the people who judge people on their dress sense, choice of words or cultural background need to revise their judgement because it will never work.

There is no dress code for drug dealers or muggers and as for judging someone by the colour of their skin... that’s racism.

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zombie z ombie

BY TASNEEM GHANCHI SECONDARY SCHOOL IS A CRUEL PLACE. TEENAGERS ARE NOT ALWAYS THE NICEST GROUP OF PEOPLE. The tribalism doesn’t help: the different groups you’re supposed to be a part of just because you look a certain way or listen to a certain type of music.

In year 8 my tutor sat me next to a pest who imitated the latest rap about smoking weed and having sex with two ‘bitches’ at a time, thought the word ‘bad’ meant good and who couldn’t help but say ‘blad’ between every other word.

One day we started talking about witchcraft. I like to read about rituals and voodoo and for some reason he thought it was strange. He was probably even a bit scared. This was quite funny coming from someone whose idea of normal was to pull his trousers down to his knees and who thought being called a ‘playa’ was a good thing.

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After about a week, a few of my classmates had come up to me and asked if I was a witch. They didn’t realise that what they were doing was just absurd. They had the audacity to accuse me of being a witch when their circle of friends had the same beliefs as a cult: anyone different was weird.

They couldn’t understand individuals: they only knew trends. They were part of a tribe where everyone thought the same things, wore the same clothes and spoke the same way. They weren’t allowed to be themselves. Everyone was a fashion zombie.

People were scared of me and constantly asked me if I had voodoo dolls of people at home. My friends were labelled too but that actually made us all closer. We were outcasts but outcast together. What we

tasneem

eaters e aters

have in common is that we’re great fans of rock music but in our school most people listen to R’n’B, rap and hip hop. They’re at the top of the hierarchy. Rockers, punks or Goths are their target because they don’t share the same taste in music.

Teenagers are too wound up with what is ‘cool’ and what isn’t. They are too afraid to admit they like something their friends might not and over-conscious of what is seen as being cool and what isn’t.

It’s a word used by teenagers to rate something by the standards that they go by (or by what their parents hate) and it controls the hierarchies that we find in schools. What one person thinks is cool, another thinks is rubbish and this determines what group or category you fall under.

“EVERYONE THOUGHT THE SAME THINGS, WORE THE SAME CLOTHES AND SPOKE THE SAME WAY. THEY WEREN’T ALLOWED TO BE THEMSELVES. EVERYONE WAS A FASHION ZOMBIE” Teenagers need to understand that this conflict makes no sense. Eminem and Marylyn Manson are friends. Marylyn Manson even makes an appearance in Eminem’s video ‘The Way I Am’. Dr. Dre and Snoop-Dogg were in Limp Bizkit’s video ‘Break Stuff’. As well as being friends they even like each other’s music. Snoop-dogg has admitted to liking rock music and he doesn’t try to keep it a secret.

The hierarchy achieves nothing for anybody and generates arguments for such a stupid reason. People need to understand that it doesn’t matter if someone else has different interests. Who cares if not everybody likes the same music as you?

Life’s differences are what makes it interesting and if the people who make different types of music are friends then why not the people who listen to it?

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More than just

BY LEILA SERRAO GOOD FRIENDSHIPS RELY ON TRUST, HONESTY AND SENSITIVITY. FRIENDS MAKE US LAUGH UNTIL WE PEE OURSELVES AND ALWAYS LEND A SHOULDER TO CRY ON. BUT WHEN YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX YOU MIGHT GET MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR. There are different types of friends, from the ones that hold your hair while you’re throwing up beetroots to ‘family friends’, which is the only reason you’re shopping for corn-removing plasters together. Then there’s your bonafide bredren, your True Best Friend. They’re the amigo you do the ‘A-Town Stomp’ with at Bar Roca and is trustworthy enough to be left alone with your wifey.

Friends are everywhere and looking around you’ll see there are loads of mixed sex friends. Girls are realising not all boys are icky and they can sit next to them after all. Boys are acknowledging that boy plus girl does not just equal sex.

But what can a friend from the opposite

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sex do that one from the same sex can’t? Or even, what wouldn’t they do that a same sex partner-in-crime would?

Tamika, 17, from Tottenham says “My best friend is a guy because girl’s are too bitchy and expose your business.”

A girl you thought was your tightest friend, as close with you as batty and bench, could actually be a green-eyed cobra who’ll expose the corpse under your bed and release a remix like she’s DJ Natty.

That’s why my best friend is also a guy.

His name’s Tyrone. He’s 19 and I’ve known him since I was five. I trust him 100 percent. No doubt. We rave together, he cracks me up and he’s met all the skeletons in my closet. Only thing is, since he’s a guy and I’m a girl people wrongly assume we’re a couple.

Just because someone has a best friend of the opposite sex it doesn’t mean they’re buzzin’ over each other. If you’re a boy with a female best friend you can cry in front of her without fear of being a

leila

friends ‘sissy’. A male best friend gives you a break from the bitchiness and jealousy of females: you know he doesn’t wish he had your figure. Plus, who else is better at interpreting the look that boy gave you than another boy!

friend it’s hard to go back to the closeness you had beforehand. But what can be even worse is when you have feelings for your friend and it’s not mutual. The tension caused by rejection could spoil your friendship.

But an opposite sex friendship can have implications. Andrew, from Edmonton,

Bianca says: “I don’t miss him. Female friends are better because they can

“ME AND MY BEST FRIEND HOOKED UP AND I REGRET IT. WHEN WE BROKE UP, OUR FRIENDSHIP COLLAPSED AND WE DON’T EVEN TALK ANYMORE.” says “My best friend Carla’s great. We’ve known each other since birth and used to have baths together. We’re 19 now but I’ve been dreaming about her giving me a bath again and I don’t know if I should tell her.”

relate to you more.” Lots of girls feel awkward discussing ‘girlie’ things with boys, like how buff Chingy is and ‘Miss Flow’ and boys squirm when they try and tell girls what they want other girls to do to them.

Bianca, 17, from Wood Green, thinks not.

“Me and my best friend hooked up and I regret it. When we broke up, our friendship collapsed and we don’t even talk anymore.”

But having a male friend to tell you what a boy is really thinking when they’re telling you what a smart, sweet, innocent girl you are, could save you from being the next ‘wham bam thank you mam’.

It’s as common as special fried rice.

Many people find that after dating a

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GET

DOWN

BY FIONA, 15 DEPRESSION IS THE FOURTH MOST COMMON DISABILITY IN THE WORLD. ABOUT 15 PERCENT OF PEOPLE WILL SUFFER FROM IT AT SOME STAGE IN THEIR LIVES. Many people seem to think that depressed people feel sorry for themselves, are simply looking for attention and should just snap out of it. The problem is they can’t. People don’t choose to become depressed. There is no single reason why depression affects people.

It can be caused by stressful events, worrying about the future or an imbalance in the delicate chemistry of the brain. It could hit anyone, at any time, for whatever reason.

And when it does it’s not nice, believe me.

My dad suffers with depression. My mum and I have had to live with it all our lives. Most of the time it’s just verbal abuse but sometimes when it gets really bad he might hit my mum.

This only happens when he doesn’t take his

My dad has left home before for a few days when he got too angry. My mum would tell me he’d gone but it never bothered me. I didn’t care. I just wanted to carry on as normal. Sometimes I never cared if he came back at all.

A couple of times when it got really, really bad my dad would tell us that he wanted to die. He told us that we shouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t see him the next day because he would probably be lying somewhere dead. He just wanted to kill himself.

Once it got too much and my mum went to see a solicitor about a divorce. They went to see a marriage councillor. This actually helped for a few weeks but then it all started again.

I’m not quite sure what happened next but for some reason my dad went to the doctor.

My dad always said that there was nothing

“A COUPLE OF TIMES WHEN IT GOT REALLY, REALLY BAD MY DAD WOULD TELL US THAT HE WANTED TO DIE” wrong with him, but this time it was different. medication. He doesn’t like taking the tablets because they make him feel weird.

He says he doesn’t feel like himself.

When I first started to notice my dad shouting at my mum, I would hide away in my room and turn my music up full blast. I’d cry myself to sleep. I never knew what to do.

I just thought that he was having a bad day or that it was just a normal argument that parents have. I never knew my father had a real medical condition.

My mum would be very strong and carry on as normal but we never knew when he might snap. As I became older I learnt to deal with it. Now I can tell when he’s getting wound up so I suggest we go out. He would never make a scene by shouting at or hitting my mum in public.

He accepted that there was a problem and he wanted to get better.

I used to do everything I could to stay away from my dad but after he got some help I started to notice a change. I saw the dad I used to love. My real dad.

My mum and I can tell when my dad isn’t taking his tablets. He starts to get bad tempered and he doesn’t want to do anything. So we do all we can to help him.

Sometimes that doesn’t help. We just leave him and he realises there is something wrong and starts taking his tablets again.

At the moment my dad is very happy and I have a really good relationship with him.

But you never really know how long his happy moods will last.

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nick

mickey

SCREEM “I PUNCHED UP A BOY SO HARD HE WAS CRYING WHILE HE WAS KNOCKED OUT AND I BROKE MY HAND ON HIS SKULL”

AGER

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BY MICKEY BLUE TURNBULL Photography by nick may

ANGER IS EVERYDAY LIFE FOR MOST TEENAGERS. WHETHER IT’S YOUR PARENTS HAVING A GO AT YOU ABOUT BEING MOODY AND OUT OF CONTROL, A TEACHER SHOUTING AT YOU IN A LESSON OR ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD THAT IS MADE OUT OF PURE BLIND ANGER. For once I feel as if I don’t need something around and that something is anger. I’m fed up with it and want it out of my life. I’ve spent years arguing with my parents and squaring up to them.

During or after the argument I usually smash the crap out of something either by throwing it or going off like a bomb and destroying anything that gets in my way or looks breakable.

I’ve flipped out in school and hurt others and myself. I’ve thrown a stool at a teacher before and almost broke their arm. I punched up a boy so hard he was crying while he was knocked out and I broke my hand on his skull. I tore apart a one-in-six original print worth £6000. That was a wedding present belonging to my parents. So I’ve decided to try and sort myself out once and for all. I tried before but the councillor just sat there nodding his head.

Now a proper anger-management councillor seems to be helping. I still get wound up and lose it, even the weather can affect my mood, but I’m a lot better than before. The councillor has been very helpful and even made appointments with some of the people I have problems with.

If you’re a teenager and think it’s a mean age to live through here’s a piece of advice: take a look at your situation, think it through and seek some help.

There are lots of places with qualified people that can listen and talk to you.

Take it easy, relax and reflect upon yourself.

If your a teenager and think you’re going crazy, there’s a mental health counselling service at St. Anne’s Hospital. Call 020 8348 5497 or 020 8341 1689

muse HOW COULD I? A secret buried deep like a raindrop to the ocean.

Tidal waves jump and leap in unity is the motion.

Silence is utter bliss. Can hear a pin drop to the floor.

Keep that boca shut. The wounds remain red and raw.

A flutter in my stomach like a butterfly in the air.

An emotional whirlpool sucking me to despair.

An action unbelievable like a tree growing money.

My conscience is conspicuous, like bees seek out honey.

Blood leaves my heart, the pain makes me cry.

I ask the question: ‘How could I?’ Like an ant in this kingdom, I was lost in you.

Silenced by your promise that you did not follow through, Like a predator in disguise, I was your prey.

Caught me in your web, until you got your way.

Hidden away in secret, the baby in my womb.

Not a happy occasion, it brought me to my doom.

Gave in to your demands, we did not use precaution.

A life planted in me. No one knows about the abortion.

Tears leave my eyes like a rainstorm from the sky.

I repeat the question: ‘How could I?’ SELINA OSIB

BABY

WHAT AM I? You like that, don’t you?

You like the way I make you feel.

You like the way I keep you going all night don’t you?

Do you also like it when I make your brain swell up and overheat?

Of course you like it when I make you nauseous and anxious.

I know you like it when I make you depressed.

But most of all you love it when I give you permanent brain damage.

My baby boy or girl How I love you so.

You were so small nine months ago.

Now you’ve grown in my womb, IKA ENENMOH Taking up space, leaving no room.

I rub my belly to let you know I’m here with you and you’re not alone.

I play you music to calm you down Because I know you like that sound.

I feel you kick to get my attention.

My baby, I’m here, with love and affection.

I wonder how you’ll be when you come out of me.

I wonder what you’ll look like when you come out of me: Your hair, your eyes, your lips, your nose, Your tiny little fingers and your tiny little toes.

I can’t wait to hold you in my arms With a smile on my face from your sweet charm.

KEMI FOSHORO

Send your poems together with your name and address to: The Bigger ShoeBox, The Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park, London, N10 3QJ. Altrnatively E-mail: editor@exposure.org.uk

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getting

BY DAVID WARRINGTON ILLUSTRATION BY TREVOR SYLVESTER WHEN WE WERE BORN, MOST OF US WERE PUSHED, SQUEEZED OR DRAGGED KICKING AND SCREAMING, A PAIR OF CALLIPERS CLAMPED ROUND OUR SKULLS, THROUGH A VAGINA. BUT GETTING ANOTHER LOOK IS FORBIDDEN BOOTY FOR BOYS AND A CONTORTIONIST’S TRICK WITH A HANDHELD MIRROR FOR GIRLS.

Everything on the outside – the inner and outer lips, the clitoris, the urethra (where you pee), the hymen and the entrance to the vagina – is called the vulva. Everyone’s vulva is different. The outer lips are skin so the colour can vary, and like breasts, the size and shape can differ. The inner lips may hang below the outer lips and be smooth or wrinkled.

At the top, the inner lips meet at the clitoris, an ultra-sensitive bundle of about 8000 nerve endings, twice as many as the penis.

At the opening of the vagina is a flap of skin called the hymen. It doesn’t completely

transmitted disease. It’s a fungus we all have in our gut and it’s terribly common. There’s not a woman in the world who hasn’t had at least one episode.

“The most common symptoms are a white curdy discharge that looks like cottage cheese and a red and sore vagina. It might be painful to have sex and urine might burn if it touches the vulva.

“It doesn’t just go by itself and it’s not enough to use a cream on its own because the spores of the fungus are high up in the vagina. You can use a pessary and a cream or, if you don’t like to put things up yourself, you can use an all-in-one oral treatment.

They’re all available at chemists.

“There are simple ways to reduce it: avoid bubble baths and bath-oils, wipe from front to back and wear underwear with cotton gussets. Eating live yoghurt gives you bacteria that live in the vagina and helps restore the

“DURING PUBERTY THE VAGINA STARTS TO PRODUCE A DISCHARGE THAT HELPS KEEP IT CLEAN BY FLUSHING OUT UNWANTED BACTERIA” cover the vagina, but having sex will usually tear it, as can fingers, tampons and slipping heavily off a bicycle seat, legs either side of the frame. Unless you’ve actually had sex, a broken hymen doesn’t mean you’re not a virgin.

“A normal vulva should be comfortable with no itchiness and no lesions,” says Amma KyeiMensah, Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist at the Whittington Hospital. But If your vulva smells really bad, fishy or yeasty, it could be a sign of infection and you should visit a sexual health clinic. “Any itchiness is likely to be Thrush. It’s not a sexually

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sponsored by:

natural balance, particularly if you’re on antibiotics.

“Good hygiene is frequent washing, at least twice a day, with just plain water. Don’t use bubble bath, soap, antiseptics or perfume sprays and wear cotton gussets because nylon makes it hot and sweaty. It should be aerated not hot and humid.”

During puberty the outer lips of the vulva begin to grow hair and the vagina starts to produce a discharge that helps keep it clean by flushing out unwanted bacteria. When a woman is ovulating or turned on, a clear discharge is produced. “It looks like egg white,” says Amma.

trevor

david

lippy

Clitoris Urethra Outer lips Inner lips Vagina

“UNLESS YOU’VE ACTUALLY HAD SEX, A BROKEN HYMEN DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT A VIRGIN” negative pressure and sucking sperm in.

“The mucus is slippy and the sperm can swim very well. A normal sperm count is at least 20 million per millilitre so imagine how much there is in a drop. In certain sex games when both people are aroused and very wet, you just have to take the penis very near the entrance to the vagina and you could end up pregnant.”

And if you do have sex, everything works together to maximise the chance of getting pregnant. First of all there’s the easy-glide liquid. Then, as Amma continues: “Stimulation of the clitoris brings forward the point of orgasm which, when it’s reached, means the uterus is rapidly contracting, creating

Within two seconds of the man ejaculating there will be sperm in the fallopian tubes, where it can live for up to five days.”

If you then release an egg into those tubes, you’ll then be staring at a little blue line on a white plastic pregnancy kit.

By the time you finish your GCSEs at least one girl in your year will have a baby and seven more will go on to become teenage mothers.

Almost all of them will have got pregnant by accident because neither they, nor their partners, used contraception.

Funnily enough, our reproductive organs are designed for just one thing: reproduction.

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Reader’s

BLOCK

BY MAVIS ANG NO ONE READS. I’M NOT TALKING ABOUT READING THE BACK OF THE CORNFLAKES BOX IN THE MORNING OR YOUR DAILY TEXTS; I’M TALKING ABOUT BOOKS.

as if for the hundredth time. This is what reading has turned into; a chore, a burden.

We read to pass an exam or to complete an essay.

We’re no longer passionate about a book that changed our lives or allows us to escape reality for a while. We read to pass an exam or to complete an essay. Perhaps it’s just not in our lifestyle now to even contemplate picking up a block of paper bound together.

Ever wondered how some kids get 'A' grade English essays and some don’t? Its not because they’re geeks, or because they have no lives and stay in night after night. It’s because they are prepared to give up some of their time to read a book that inspires them to write with their own flair and style.

Schools simply shove piles of classic novels in front of kids to ‘prepare them for higher education’ But forcing someone to read

You watch these kids breeze through every essay they’re given, knowing they’re the

“A NOVEL LIKE ‘THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER’ BY CHBOSKY OR ‘THE CATCHER IN THE RYE’ BY SALINGER CAN INSTANTLY CHANGE YOUR WHOLE PERCEPTION OF LIFE” ones who are going to make it big while reduces their passion. If you asked a student why they read Shelley’s Frankenstein, they’d probably answer ‘because it was on the syllabus’. Then they’ll go into a speech about the language, form and structure of the novel

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you’re stuck in a dead end job at Comet persuading a difficult customer to spend that extra £10 on a chrome-edged microwave.

Picking up a novel like ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’ by Chbosky or ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by Salinger can instantly change your whole perception of life, can

mavis

“THE PUBLISHERS HAVE MILKED THE POTTER BRAND SO MUCH IT’S BORING” transform you from a naïve child to an independent, fresh-thinking young adult.

In the rare cases of us actually reading, it tends to be done in a trend. Ever heard of Harry Potter? The pubescent boy on the verge of manhood strives to fight against the evil Lord Voldemort blah blah blah.

Every year, without fail, the population queue up at bookshops at 11.59, waiting for the doors to open so they can collect the latest must-have, next to an iPod and Nike’s.

The publishers have milked the Potter brand so much it’s boring. Rowling’s fifth novel seems to be written like a film. They’ve even produced Potter chocolates and tapestries. When will it stop? When they begin building a chain of Hogwarts hotels for the ‘authentic magical getaway’?

But in a society ruled by consumerism, is it really such a surprise for a bunch of 17year-olds to go and see the film rather than read the book? Especially when top names ranked ‘sexiest male or female’ have been cast to play one of your favourite characters - Orlando Bloom, with those rather fetching green tights, in Lord of the Rings and Angelina Jolie in attitude-

drenched dreadlocks in Girl Interrupted.

Who could say no to watching these beautiful thespians on screen?

Many novels have been adapted for the big screen. Some adaptations are great.

Some become the most easily forgotten of films. Films provide a short getaway from reality when you just can’t be bothered.

Which is great. They don’t require thinking or any form of brain cell activity, they’re just a series of moving pictures, purely for entertainment.

Somehow reading feels more personal.

Nobody will ever have the same vision of a character as you. Films show the director’s vision but books are like dreams, they take you places you’ve never been to. You’re not just a spectator looking in on someone else’s life, you become one of the characters taking every twist and tumble with them. Even if they’re very different from you, there’s a connection, a secret bond. You get scared, you smile, you cry and you laugh. You feel every emotion as though it were reality. You never want it to end and when it does you feel like you’ve ended a relationship.

That is the power of books.

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MT

PROBLEM TYPE ÌËÙ>Ø All my friends are really gorgeous with nice hair, pretty faces, stunning bodies and boyfriends. I’m so jealous of them because I’m overweight with loads of freckles and frizzy ginger hair. I know looks aren’t the most important thing but I feel really depressed. My friends always say they think I’m pretty but I know they’re lying. I’m so lonely.

PROBLEM TYPE IØÌÔ I sat my GCSEs this year and failed almost everything. I didn’t bother revising because it’s boring and I’d rather be out having a good time, sat on the wall in front of my house. I feel stupid now because I have to do the re-sits in November so I can go to college. I’m really worried. I can’t sleep and there’s nothing good on TV at two o’clock in the morning.

PROBLEM TYPE ıBÁÎ There’s only one problem with my girlfriend: she smokes draw all the time and it makes her really depressed, angry and aggressive. It’s like there are two sides to her. I worry about saying or doing the wrong thing because I don’t want another argument. I don’t want to break up but I don’t think I can put up with her split-personality much longer.

PROBLEM TYPE +ÍÌʘ I have a deep and terrible fear of toothpaste. I’m constantly paranoid about my teeth. I’m sure they must be yellow and they always feel furry under my tongue. I’m so worried that my breath smells I turn my head away from people when I speak. They must think I’m crazy. Every night I dream my teeth are crumbling away. Please help.

• Your nearest ENIGMA host is: • Autosend your life problems by terrestrial mail services to: Exposure, The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Digitalia to: enigma@exposure.org.uk

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laura MT

ENIGMA Solutions Corp. because Your problems are Our problems ENIGMA SOLUTION ``ŒÊ Loneliness is terrible but you’re wasting your time by putting yourself down.

You could talk to your GP about going on a sensible diet. You could experiment with different hairstyles or get a dramatic haircut. It’ll grow back.

But what you really need is confidence. Do you think there’d be so many fat ladies wobbling round in skin-tight pink leggings if they were worried about their freckles (which are gorgeous anyway)?

ENIGMA SOLUTION ¬ÎÅ Don’t fret too much. In fact, don’t worry at all. So you messed up your exams because you didn’t do any work. This is what some people call a ‘key lesson for the future’. It’s what Enigma calls ‘getting what you deserve’. You could have got some good advice, like checking out www.skoool.co.uk, an online revision resource, but Enigma couldn’t be bothered.

ENIGMA SOLUTION Ȩ¨´´® Have you spoken to her about how you feel? You need to say something before she’ll change. A relationship should be based on trust and if you can’t tell her that you’re suffering maybe you should let your spacegirl float free.

But if she wants to do something about it, www.drugscope.co.uk is a website packed with information.

ENIGMA SOLUTION Ç^^¥ What you need is a solar-powered toothbrush with a semi-conducting rod running through the head into the handle. Under the bathroom light, the rod could convert light into negatively charged ions that could blend with saliva to neutralise and disintegrate plaque. You wouldn’t need toothpaste, or even a sink. If only it existed... see www.pitrok.co.uk

The System loves you 21

ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE The first two giant gatherings of the European Social Forum (ESF) attracted thousands of people – including young people – from across the globe.

In Florence in 2002 and Paris in 2003, they shared their frustrations, ideas and inspiration about how to make the world a better place.

Now, from 14-17 October, the ESF will be held at Haringey’s very own Alexandra Palace.

It’s for anyone and everyone opposed to war, racism and corporate power. There will be forums and debates, workshops, music, films and exhibitions celebrating the global movement.

Aron, 13, Sitara, 15, and Louise, 12, all from Tottenham, think that if the world changed overnight, things would look very different on the streets of Haringey.

“People would feel less nervous when they

walked down the street. They wouldn’t be in a rush and would be smiling. Teenagers wouldn’t feel like they had to walk in big groups because they wouldn’t feel intimidated,” says Aron.

And Sitara agrees: “You wouldn’t see people in smart suits giving blank looks to the poor, ignoring them. You’d see children playing happily with no fear of what could happen.”

“I think Tony Blair should get sacked and the soldiers in Iraq should come back and rethink what jobs they’re doing,” says Louise. “I’m going to the ESF at Ally Pally to get an insight into what all the different groups and parties have to say.”

Another world is possible and it’s for us to make! Go to www.fse-esf.org or get involved locally, by mailing ESF youth c/o Unison office, 48 Grand parade, Green Lanes, N4 1AG

“THEY ARE ASKING ME TO CHANGE THE WORLD ALONE, I CAN’T. IF WE STAND AS ONE AND GRASP HANDS THEN THERE WILL BE PEACE, BUT THAT CHANCE IS MEANT TO BE FAR AWAY IN THE NEXT 1000 YEARS OR SO. WELL I SAY THAT’S WRONG. WE HAVE THIS ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY AND ITS’ COMING TO HARINGEY. I’M GOING, SO ARE THOUSANDS. SO TELL ME, WHY AREN’T YOU?” ZAKEEYA, 15, TOTTENHAM

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luke

semra

Across 1 Correct(5) 2 Fistfight(3) 5 Worth fighting for (5) 7 Not one nor the other/impartial (7) 9 Drops from clouds (4) 10 Mature/expand (7) 11 Shooter (3) 12 Feel unwell (3) 13 A little bird (7) 16 Craving/encourage (4) 19 Comes after clues 9 and 21 (7) 20 Expel button on stereo (5) 21 A bright star (3) 22 Spotless/transparent (5)

1 A file for criminals (caught on video?) (6) 2 Curve/twist (4) 3 Talking to them is dangerous (9) 4 Murder (4) 6 Live back-to-front (4) 8 Idea advanced by Darwin (9) 14 Bad spots(4) 15 Can take your order (6) 17 Stumble/journey (4) 18 To be identical (4)

Down Answers in next issue!

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E V E N T SOMETHING TO SPRAY

BY HUGO AULT BANKSY, ILLEGAL BUT EVERYWHERE. YOU CAN FIND HIS STENCILLED GRAFFITI IN THE QUIRKIEST PLACES, CROPPING UP ALL OVER LONDON WHILE WE SLEEP. Unlike normal graffiti - a land of tags, scribbling or large, colourful spray works with violent or meaningless messages Banksy’s work includes policemen with smiley faces, the Pulp Fiction killers firing bananas and a rat in a glass box placed in the natural history museum.

His work is funny and full of sly, political humour. As a graffiti artist whose activities are illegal, he remains largely anonymous, although he finds this to be most of the fun. He has said: “you could stick all my shit in Tate Modern and have an opening with Tony Blair and Kate Moss handing out vol-au-vents and it wouldn’t be as exciting as it is when you go out and you paint something big where you shouldn’t do.”

Brought up in Bristol, Banksy started doing graffiti when he was a miserable 14-yearold schoolboy. School never made sense to him. He had problems, was expelled and did some time in prison for petty crime. He is quoted in a rare interview with the Guardian newspaper as saying graffiti made him feel better about himself, it gave him a voice, sneaking out at night to deliver his gifts to the city.

Some of the meanings behind his work are more difficult to figure out than others but it can be very political. He recently held an exhibition at a warehouse in East London which included live pigs, cows and sheep, spray-painted with his artwork.

How can you find the mysterious Banksy?

Check out his website www.banksy.co.uk, his published books, ‘Banging Your Head Against A Brick Wall’ and ‘Exitstencilism’, both £4.00, or just keep your eyes open on the streets.

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H O R IZ O N

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E V E N T WEEK OF PEACE The first Week of Peace was held in Haringey in 2001. This year, for the first time, the Week of Peace will be celebrated across London.

The Week involves all members of the community and includes concerts, festivals, walks, arts, poetry and sports competitions.

The Week aims to see how people view the streets in terms of youth culture, crime, community spirit, love and peace, to talk about problems and identify solutions.

From 20-26th of September. To find out what’s happening near you, visit www.peacealliance.org.uk

FIRSTS FIRSTS is at the Royal Opera House but it isn't opera, it isn't ballet and it isn't expensive. It’s new dance, theatre and music performed by up-and-coming artists given their first chance to perform in the West End in a programme for young people. Tickets are £5 for three performances.

21-29 September, Linbury Studio Theatre at the Royal Opera House.

CIRQUE NOVA Amphitheatre of the Arts present Cirque Nova at a big-top in Finsbury Park. Performances use Indian and West African, trapeze, drama, juggling, acrobatics and music to highlight issues surrounding HIV/Aids. Also, workshops for young people teach about performing arts and provide safe-sex and drug education.

For more information call Juan-Marie Akkerman on 07968 326 445 or email amphitheatreofthearts@btopenworld.com or drop into the big-top (there’s a safety net).

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VERSE, PROSE AND NONSENSE Word for Word, a local group of poets, musicians, film-makers and writers, will perform an evening of verse, prose and nonsense at Alexandra Park Library on Wednesday 29 September at 7.00pm.

The evening is a tribute to Margaret Bark who fought hard for the survival of the library and who died earlier this year.

Free tickets available from the library. For more information call Dawn Golbourne on 0208 883 8553

H O R IZ O N d i r e c t o r y YOUTH CLUBS Muswell Hill Youth Centre Hillfield Park, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 5855 Bruce Grove Youth Project 10 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8808 1604 Wood Green Area Youth Project New River Sports Complex, White Hart Lane Tel: 020 8489 8940 / 020 8489 8942

DRUGS AND ALCOHOL STEP-AHEAD 40 Bromley Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8493 8525 Turning Point The Old Health Clinic Suttton Road, Muswell Hill Tel: 020 8883 8887 HAGA 590 Seven Sisters Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 6999 Freephone Child helpline: 0800 389 5257

SEXUAL HEALTH 4YP drop-in clinic St Ann’s sexual health centre St Ann’s hospital, St Ann’s road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8442 6605 / 020 8442 6536 4YP BUS Tel: 0800 1613 715 www.4yp.co.uk Young Mums To Be Alexandra Court 122-124 High Road Wood Green Tel: 020 8889 0022 Outzone For gay and bisexual men under 26 www.outzone.org.uk

EMERGENCY HOUSING Shelterline Tel: 0808 800 4444

MENTAL HEALTH Antenna 9 Bruce Grove, Tottenham Tel: 020 8365 9537 www.antennaoutreach.co.uk email: info@antennaoutreach.co.uk Host Excel House, 312 High Road, Tottenham Tel: 020885 8160 LEARNING DISABILITIES Markfield Project Markfield Road, Tottenham Tel: 020 8800 4134

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE Hearthstone 10 Commerce Road, Wood Green Tel: 020 8888 5362 SCHEMES AND PROGRAMMES Duke of Edinburgh Award New River Sports Complex, White Hart Lane Tel: 020 8489 8941 / 07967 336 338 e2e Alexandra Court 122-124 High Road Wood Green Tel: 020 8889 0022 Keep It Simple Training Sentinel House 1 Ashley Road Tottenham Hale Tel: 0871 200 2321 Prince’s Trust Old Fire Station Tottenham Green Enterprise Centre Town Hall Approach Road Tel: 020 8375 3420 BTCV Millenium Volunteers Tel: 020 7843 4292 / 7843 4291 E-mail: mv-london@btcv.org.uk www.mv-london.org.uk

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YOUNG PEOPLE’S FILM SCHOOL

LEARN

FILMING EDITING DIRECTING

AT EXPOSURE

A comprehensive 1 year film DIPLOMA course specifically aimed at young people aged 12 to 21. Every student will be involved in the making of a 1 minute film, a 5 minute film and a ‘graduation’ project of up to 10 minutes.

COURSE STARTS LATE SEPTEMBER 2004: BOOK YOUR PLACE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! FOR ENQUIRIES: Come and see us at Exposure! or phone: EXPOSURE 0208 883 0260 / Enrico @ EXPOSURE 07968 876 681 or email: Enrico@exposure.com Full program available in our office or via email.