A HARINGEY YOUTH PUBLICATION
free apr 07
£0.00
issue 86
¿COMPRENDE? If not, just shout.
YOUNG LIVERS What happens when you can’t stop drinking.
APOCALYPSE Who’s in charge of the end of the world?
alex
Contributors Aaron Chinn, Alex Gould, Gerard Mongo
gerard
joe sanah
Joey Leskin, Josh Büyükyilmaz and Sanah Butt.
josh
joey
Eden Anderson, Ellen-Davis Walker, Joe Sandler-Clarke
ellen
eden
Editorial Team
Features 14 - GALLERY 18 - HOROSCOPE
Josh Büyükyilmaz, Kofi Sekyere, Llewellyn Harrigan, Mahfoj Rashid
26 - POETRY
tahnee
sanah
27 - DIRECTORY
nick
Nick May, Sanah Butt, Sofia Quadri, Tahnee Grievson, Tira Jones
llewellyn
josh
22 - AGONY
Haringey Uncovered: Alexandra Palace
Exposure is free and open to anyone aged between13 and 19 living in Haringey. • write, edit, illustrate & design this magazine • build your own website • make a video
www.exposure.org.uk To volunteer, or to arrange work experience or a work placement, call 020 8883 0260, email info@exposure.org.uk or just walk into the office. The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906 Mob: 07947 884 282 Email: editor@exposure.org.uk
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Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday
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7.00 3.00 7.00 7.00 3.00
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sponsored by: social spider Tottenham Grammar School Foundation
Issue #86 April 2007 Joey’s Editorial
It’s so cool getting drunk and doing a few spliffs - obviously this guy’s not a druggy but when you’re at a party, y’know, and he doesn’t ACTUALLY smoke, he just social smokes at parties because it’s WAY EASIER TO SOCIALISE AND MAKE FRIENDS THAT WAY, because the people who will only be your friend if you smoke with them are EVEN COOLER THAN YOU ARE! Like that guy I know who was just so out there and
cool he couldn’t even remember the names of the drugs he took because IT’S SO FUNNY WHEN YOU GET HIGH ON ILLEGAL DRUGS AND TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT IT TO TRY AND SOUND COOL AND SPONTANEOUS AND CRAZY! He’s not a druggy, he was just having a good time. If you are thinking ‘Woah, this guy Joey knows is my kinda guy! I should go to these parties and smoke these drugs because THAT WOULD MAKE ME SO COOL AND IT WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY etc. etc.’, get out of this magazine and stay off my site. Read Joey’s blog at www.joey.exposure.org.uk
joey
This guy I know went to a party, got really drunk and was SICK EVERYWHERE, and then took LOADS of illegal drugs and partied some more, and then took EVEN MORE DRUGS! How funny (not to mention incredibly cool) is that! True story.
Articles 08 - Dark at the End of the Tunnel
When did young people swap Darwin for Dr Dre? By Harry Yeates. Design by Sanah Butt.
gerard
12 - D’Evolution, Innit
sanah
Get over the language barrier with Ellen Davis-Walker. Photo by Gerard Mongo.
ellen
10 - Parlez Vous English?
harry
What to do when your mum is clinically depressed.
16 - SuperUnknown Alice Johns investigates the End Times.
20 - Alcohell
24 - Home from Home
sanah
The Worst night of young Ricky’s life.
What it’s like living in care. Illustrations by Sanah Butt. Regrettably our office is inaccessible to wheelchair users but we will nevertheless make every effort to include your contributions.
Youth Support Service Voluntary Sector Team
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the
Büyükyilmaz reel
EPIC MOVIE DVD Release: 11 June 2007 Four not-so-young orphans visit a chocolate factory and stumble into a wardrobe that transports them into the land of Gnarnia where Harry Potter, Superman Returns, Pirates Of The Caribbean, Snakes On A Plane and X-Men are just some of the other blockbusters parodied. Once you’ve seen the trailer, there are only a few giggles left. A waste of life.
HOT FUZZ DVD Release: the future PC Nick Angel is so good at his job he makes the other officers look bad, so his superiors move him to the sleepy west country village of Sanford. He’s partnered with PC Danny Butterman, who is a real idiot. A series of gruesome murders suggest something isn’t right, but it’s hard to work out who the murderer is because it’s so freakin’ funny. People with epilepsy be careful because there are lots of intense flashing images, so make sure you take your medication before you see this movie.
THE NUMBER 23 DVD release: probably the 23rd of something Animal control officer Walter Sparrow reads an obscure book, becoming convinced that the book is based on his own life and obsessed by the extensive power of the number 23. Most of us know him from The Mask, Ace Ventura Pet Detective, and Dumb & Dumber, but Jim Carrey once again proves he is more than a comic actor. Jim and Number 23 director Joel Schumacher worked together on Batman Forever and, wait a minute, did I say Batman? Now that’s a movie. Josh Büyükyilmaz
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nick
llewellyn
josh
undercover mother BABY ON BOARD
London Underground 0845 330 9880 Transport for London are making life easier for pregnant women with Baby on Board badges to let people know they should be offering their seat to expectant mothers. But when I wore the badge on a busy tube with a massive bump and swollen ankles, the other passengers pretended not to see me and hid behind their papers and books. And on a crowded bendy bus, no one was giving up a precious seat. Call London Underground on 0845 330 9880 to get yourself one. Perhaps you could use it to poke holes in people’s newspapers. Aysha Tegally (and bump)
By Aysha Tegally
finding things hard?
45367990
THE LOC8TOR
£59.99 www.loc8tor.co.uk
If you are always losing your phone, keys, wallet, TV remote or girlfriend, perhaps you need the loc8tor. Just attach the little tags to anything you might lose and the loc8or will guide you to it by shouting ‘warmer, warmer, very warm, ooohh, you’re very warm now’ but with beeps, obviously, because it can’t speak. It’s got a range of 180 metres, so you can have some fun tracking things down, but it would be cheaper, and maybe quicker, just to look for things yourself. And if you’re someone who is always losing things, wouldn’t you lose the loc8tor too? Nick May
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bagger than bag TAGGER BAG
www.lookatmycrazyshoes.com Tagger bags are the creation of baggy Dutch artist Peter van Veldhoven. Inspired by graffiti, hip-hop and expressive modern bags, his bag-vision is to make art mobile by
putting it on a bag. Made of truck tarpaulin and seatbelts, Tagger Bags are as tough as a boot that’s passed the most rigorous road haulage safety standards. Use the nifty software at lookatmycrazyshoes.com to choose your own bags, straps and graffitiinspired flaps and build your own bag-tastic Tagger Bag.
hai-ya!
SANJURO
Saturday 4.00 -5.00 pm Park Road Leisure Centre, Park Road, N8 £5 per class Sanjuro is a non-contact martial art for everyone. Lessons include non-contact sparring and pad work, but can feel more like a dance class: you stand in line, punching and kicking in time to music, building up to more and more complicated combinations until you realise you’re actually learning how to kick someone’s head in. It’s hard work, great for fitness, and you’re also learning the skills and philosophy of effective self defence. Whether you’re a complete beginner or a black belt in Rex Quan Do, you’re made to feel welcome in friendly, mixed ability classes that include everyone from young children to adults.
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BEING
Jerry Spinelli
Kevin Brooks
Everyone loves Stargirl for being different, and she captures Leo’s heart with just one smile.
Teenager Robert is on the run and looking for answers after waking up from an operation full of plastic and wires.
WORSE THAN BOYS
CHERRY HEAVEN
Catherine MacPhail
L. J. Adlington
Hannah learns what it’s like to be an outcast when she falls out with the Lip Gloss Girls, who rule the playground.
Kat and Tanka make a fresh start away from the bullets in a futuristic dystopian nightmare.
HENRY TUMOUR
TOONHEAD
Anthony McGowan
Fiona Dunbar
A talking brain tumour turns out to come in handy, until he tries to take over in this brain chemical comedy.
When he discovers his scrawled cartoons predict the future, Pablo is soon doodling for his life.
hair do
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AFRO HAIR & BEAUTY LIVE
Alexandra Palace, 27-28 May 2007 £10 It’s lasted longer than the Rubiks Cube, legwarmers and the Jheri Curl: the Afro Hair Show is 25 this year, and if you’ve still got a Jheri Curl, you definitely need to be there. Now there are more demonstrations, more makeovers and more ways to get involved than ever before. Get advice on skincare, make-up, weaves and extensions, braiding, natural styles and relaxers from award-winning stylists in a dazzling weekend of top tips, bargains, dax and cocoa butter.
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STARGIRL
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look! books!
darka atthe endofthe tunnel Anonymous
year ago my mum told me she suffers from Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). I almost laughed. I'd known that since I was old enough to know what depression was, how could she think I didn't know?
A
That day started like so many, with me getting up for school, going to mum's room and finding her in bed telling me she'd be up in a minute. I'd come to expect her to still be there when I came home from school. No excuses, now she'd just tell me she was sorry and knew she was letting me down. Guilt comes part and parcel with MDD, as does the fatigue that keeps her in bed all day, and the apathy that eats away at her career in a job she really enjoys.
never wanted to “Ileave her alone, yet dreaded going back home
”
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Most damning is the frustration MDD creates: our frustration at not being able to help; her frustration at not being able to help herself. She goes though periods, months at a time, of great sadness until finally she comes out of it, cleans the house and tells me that she's feeling 'alright now'. But for how long? We all know it’s only a matter of time.
It is hard to face weakness in someone you have always leaned on, and to feel pity for them. I've felt responsible for her and resented that, then guilty for resenting her for an illness that’s not her fault. There is nothing anyone can do to pull her out, and seemingly no reason why she gets so down, but there is a cause: her illness. It’s important to remember that though it’s mental rather than physical, It’s an illness and it is certainly crippling. When your mum has MDD, your priorities change. Schoolwork seems less important. I spent my time torn between being suffocatingly worried about her, and feeling embittered by it. I saw depression as a rampant beast that could consume her. I never wanted to leave her alone, yet feared the emotional mess it created and dreaded going back home. Most of the time I just wanted to forget it.
is no shame in “There suffering from depression”
I never mentioned mum's problems to people at school. It seemed like people only had to have a boring day to say 'I'm depressed'. I didn't know how to communicate the weight of the situation to anyone, to explain the difference between
feeling depressed and having MDD. I thought I'd feel silly. Once I did start talking about it, I realised how wrong I had been. Most people have someone close to them suffering from a mental disorder. Most families know what it's like to be living with someone else's depression. Though I wasn't surprised when my mum told me she suffered from MDD, it is a bit saddening that she tried to hide it from me, and that I tried to
hide it from others. There’s no shame in suffering from depression. By keeping it secret you create shame, which feeds stigmatization and guilt. She tells me she feels like a burden on me, but the way I see it, MDD is a burden on her that requires my support and understanding. It is only once she was honest with me that I could be honest with those around me, and we could finally start to face it together.
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10
ellen
PARLEZ-VOUS
By Ellen Davis-Walker ritain is ranked second last in the world in terms of the number of people who can speak more than one language. In Luxemburg, 99% of people claim to be bilingual. In Britain it’s only 30%. I remember once on holiday I met a German girl called Kim who, aged 9, had been learning English for two years and was practically fluent. It scared the hell out of me; I honestly believed I was dealing with some freakishly gifted German prodigy who spent her evenings reading encyclopaedias or something. But no, she was an ordinary kid, but at her school they had an English lesson every day.
B
“
Will our heads explode if we try to speak more than one language?
”
Listening to Kim speak English in her best accent, I remembered my last French lesson. We only have it twice a week, which is nothing when you think about it, and I remembered how loads of the boys refused point blank to speak French. Our teacher was obviously annoyed, and when she asked them why they weren’t answering when they knew what to say (it was something simple like ‘oui’) they just said ‘Allow it, miss. Why do I wanna speak French for? I’ll just make them speak English if I go to France.’ ‘Allow it’? Okay, maybe languages aren’t everybody’s thing. I can see exactly why at times people would find them boring, confusing, and difficult.
But just expecting people to speak your language wherever you go in the world shows a high level of arrogance in yourself and the superiority of your country. And refusing to even try? Well that’s just being boring! At school in Britain, we learn a language from Year 7 until Year 9, and then we can give it up and never think about it again. In Germany they learn English from the age of nine, and will probably start learning French or Spanish too.
do I wanna “Why speak French for? I’ll just make them speak English
”
Is it just because we are just not good at languages? Do we feel that speaking more than one language isn’t physically possible, and our heads will explode if we try? Or is it because we’ve grown up with the English-speaking superpowers that are Britain and America and, in these great nations, there are more important things to do, like work out the best way to reduce a country to a war-torn hellhole, or how to do that bit more to destroy the planet. Lots of us seem to think that because English is one of the most widely spoken languages in the world, we don’t really need to bother speaking anything else. But when you think about, it’s probably that we just don’t want to communicate with the rest of the world, because we’re scared of the response we’ll get.
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D’Evolution
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or many, being involved in a gang and wearing a hoodie is part of growing up. It’s practically a right of passage. But as I found out to my cost, a minority are unable to see beyond this lifestyle.
F
The brutal reality is that real gangsters, the genuine thugs, don’t just walk the walk and buy the replica gun. They commit crime and hurt people. As I prepared for my GCSE exams, my home was broken in to with just me there to protect it. The criminals involved were young, male, and yes, they wore hoodies. Unfortunately, they were the exact stereotype we hear about on a daily basis.
is not “Athelibrary best place to develop a thug-like image
”
I tried to continue my everyday life, but I failed. The next day I punched a hole through the bathroom mirror. My dad rushed me to the doctors as blood ran down my hand. I couldn’t come to terms with the break-in or deal with a police investigation on top of school and exams. My mum thought I should get counselling and anger management. My latest confrontation with a selfproclaimed rude boy took place outside my college library. He seemed unaware that a library is not generally seen as being the best place to develop a thug-like image. He should have chosen a more threatening environment.
sanah
harry
By Harry Yeates Design by Sanah Butt
out of four “Three press articles about young people are negative
”
Why do we try and emulate people like those who broke into my home? They are not to be respected. You might say that by choosing this lifestyle, people are expressing their individuality. But they aim to look, talk, walk, and act in exactly the same way as one another. We could deal with these wannabes in a number of ways: live in fear that they will pull out a Stanley knife from under there No Fear flat cap; laugh at the way their trouser line begins at the knee; feel sad that they feel the need to act in such a way; or we could join them. We could spend our time plotting new and increasingly ‘advanced’ methods of greeting each other. We have come such a long way from your standard ‘Hello’. Now we have the choice of ‘Wagwan, homeboy!’, ‘How’s it hanging, brother!?’, ‘You cool?’, ‘Safe, blood’ and many more. We could spend our time at the back of buses having conversations that to the average English speaker make no sense whatsoever. We could form a gang and try to look intimidating by lurking outside the nearest corner shop. It is often claimed that teenagers are misunderstood and represented in an unfair way: according to research by the British Youth Council, three out of four press articles about young people are negative. But it shouldn’t come as a surprise that we are wrongly represented. We need to be asking ourselves why we are fuelling people’s ignorant stereotypes. At what point did we step back from the evolution process and replace Darwin’s theory with Dr. Dre’s?
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GALLERY 14
by Sanah Butt
Send your artwork to The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: jon@exposure.org.uk
GALLERY
by Aaron Chinn
Send your artwork to The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: jon@exposure.org.uk
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SuperUnknown
16
End
nd Times By Alice Johns
he war in Iraq, tsunamis, hurricanes, global warming, the war in Palestine, the extinction of animals, the genocide in Darfur... is this the beginning of the end of the world?
T
There are 224 457 000 Christians in America, the highest number in any country in the world. Now a group of American Evangelical Christians are looking to bring about the end of the world.
The End Timers are “affluent and influential people in American society
”
In the Bible, the last book of Revelations in the New Testament describes a world of plagues, famines, wars, devils, wild beasts and rivers of blood, essentially a time when the world has come to an end and hell reigns free. Affluent Christians calling themselves ‘End Timers’ are working towards making this happen. They believe that the sooner the world ends the sooner the Rapture will begin - a time when God’s most faithful followers will go to heaven and everyone else will be left on Earth to endure hell. But how will a group of fundamental Christians in America affect us? Well, the End Timers are affluent and influential people in American society, known to visit the White House on a regular basis. They are in such powerful positions, their extreme views can influence the US Government’s decisions and political policies. The End Timers have interpreted the book of Revelations as a prophecy of the end of the world. It states that the final battle before the Rapture will take
place in Bethlehem, but only after the Jews return. Bethlehem is in the West Bank, an area divided between Palestinian and Israeli authority. Since 1948, when the Jewish state of Israel was created, the End Timers have believed that it’s only a matter of time until the Rapture begins. Yikes! Now they give money to Israel and armed Palestinian groups for weapons, funding both sides in the hope that their war will speed up and ultimately lead to the Rapture. They fully support the Iraq war and refuse to cut down on gas emissions for the same reason.
you want to be “Would left on Earth to fight Hell’s minions?” Even more strangely is the End Timers belief in the Antichrist, who they are certain is already on earth, working under a disguise and speaking in tongues. According to them the Antichrist is... drum roll please... the United Nations, a world peace organisation!
But belief in the Rapture is becoming so popular that the average right wing fundamentalist American Christian is going to extreme lengths to protect themselves. After all, would you want to be left on Earth unprepared to fight Hell’s minions? Not to worry, you can buy everything you need to survive for about $3,000 from the average American gun store. What a bargain. Feel free to mail order an “All You Need Bumper Kit to Survive the End Times”, but if you’re seriously thinking about it, why are you still reading this? Get out and dig your hell proof bunker.
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HOROSCOPE
18
By Tahnee Grievson
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
Mar. 21 - Apr. 20
Apr. 21 - May 21
May 22 - June 21
Your ego gets you in trouble this week and you might end up losing something or someone precious. Remember: good things come to those who wait.
Someone close to you will find out about your happenings, and if it involves a fit date, there’s going to be trouble. Watch out friends can be enemies too.
If you’re planning a big night with your mates, you are going to have a wicked time, but don’t be the party clown. If you see a man in a red suit, run.
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Sept. 24 - Oct. 23
Oct. 24 - Nov. 22
Nov. 23 - Dec. 22
People aren’t always everything they seem, and you’ll soon realise it. Take a break (no, not with a kit Kat) and set your mind on something constructive (not Lego).
Leave the one you love alone and in no time they will come running to you with open arms. This week be aware of curbs and untied laces.
Thinking about a mysterious girl or boy? Remember you are in a relationship and you will loose limbs if you get led astray.
amos
huw
george
muna
Images by Amos Niamke, George Barrow, Huw Macdonald
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
June 22 - July 23
July 24 - Aug. 23
Aug. 24 - Sept. 23
Don’t be a fool and rely on other people to keep a secret from someone close to you. They’ll walk all over you, so just come clean.
Unwanted baggage arrives on your doorstep when someone you despise tries to move in on your other half. Don’t let it happen.
Feeling rough? Well, it looks a lot worse from the outside. Drink plenty of water and have your five a day and everything will be okay.
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Dec. 23 - Jan. 20
Jan. 21 - Feb.20
Feb. 21 - Mar. 20
Peer pressure might get the better of you this week, so stay away from bad people, stick to your real friends and you don’t do anything you don’t want to.
Someone who has hurt you in the past will come back and apologise to you, but don’t be fooled: stay well clear of forbidden fruit.
Thinking of starting something new and fresh? Give your creative side a chance to shine and go for it. It will be to your advantage in the long run.
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Alco H
By Ricky
bout a year ago me and a few friends decided to get drunk together for the first time.
A
We spent all week plotting it out. Someone’s uncle got the alcohol, and we decided to drink it in a private leisure centre near-by (one of my friends had a key because his parents worked there). It was ideal as nobody ever went in there, especially at 10 o’clock on a Friday night.
I was in a really bad way because of the volume and mixture of drinks I had consumed on an empty stomach. I had also gone swimming which caused a big problem: I didn’t dry myself off and was freezing, but as I was drunk I didn’t notice. Alcohol makes you think you are warm even if your body temperature is very low – that’s partly why tramps drink it. I was so cold that, combined with the effect of the booze, I collapsed. I still only had my shorts on.
They found us passed “out My organs had started on the floor being “ shutting down and my sick” body was preparing itself to die” We collected our booze and started drinking outside the centre so we could watch and make sure everyone had definitely left. By this time I was drinking whiskey and beer. I thought I could drink what I liked, even though I hadn’t eaten anything. We headed inside and started gulping the rest of the alcohol and then headed for the swimming pool. By this time we were all uncontrollably drunk and I don’t remember a lot from here.
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I know we had arranged for some girls to come and get drunk with us. When they turned up and rang the bell but no one answered, they went round the back to have a look. They found all of us passed out on the floor being sick. We were in a bad state, but I was by far the worst. The girls thankfully phoned our parents and they came down to collect us and take us home, but I was rushed to hospital.
Things had got so bad that my organs had started shutting down and my body was preparing itself to die. I was sick everywhere and also pissed and shit myself. I was rushed to hospital where they pumped my stomach. Their main concern was to warm my body up. The only thing they could do was give me lots of insulation and wait. I had seven blankets on me, which eventually began to increase my body temperature. They kept me in overnight for observation and discharged me in the morning. I had a hangover that lasted for days. Worse, I developed a problem with my kidneys and liver. Also I got picked on at school: people called me ‘pissypants beer boy’ for ages. The whole experience was horrible. I just wish I knew that before I drank so much.
o Hell
sponsored by
A DRINK-BY-DRINK GUIDE TO GETTING DRUNK UNITS* SYMPTOMS 2 Feeling well. more confident, 3 Feeling and giggly. Women reach the drink drive limit.
4
Men reach the drink drive limit.
6
Whether you’re happy, sad, angry or depressed, it’s intense.
8
Dancing on the table and telling strangers you love them.
10
Probably chatting up someone you wouldn’t look at twice sober, and slurring badly.
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Seeing double, confused and drowsy.
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*1 units =
1 2
pint of beer,
1 2
Feel like vomiting if you haven’t already. Probably won’t remember what you did in the morning. At risk of serious alcohol poisoning.
glass of wine, 1 shot of spirits. 1 alcopop = 1 12 units
21
AGONY
by Josh Büyükyilmaz, Mark Laidlaw, Saunae Cabey and Tira Jones
I don’t eat, I trick people into thinking I’m eating. I don’t need to go to a clinic or rehab because I’m not sure there is even anything wrong with me (except I’m so ugly and fat). My friends keep telling me they think I’m too thin, but what do they know? What should I do? Help me, please! Don’t you watch TV? Haven’t you seen everything about ‘size 0’ etc., how bad it is to be thin, or ‘top ten anorexic celebrities’? You should try and eat something. Cut it into small pieces if you have to. If you stopped thinking you were fat for a second, you might realise you’ve got a pretty good life. Be positive and have confidence in yourself: as my mum says, there’s always something wrong with everyone.
My friend John sold me a memory card for my phone for £10, but the memory card was stolen from my other friend Stuart. Stuart found out, and now he wants his memory card back from me, but I already paid a tenner for it. What do I do? Your friend should have looked after his stuff, and you should pick your friends better: it sounds like a con. Here’s the knock: you’re the fish, the memory card’s the hook, and Jon’s the shill for inside man Stuart. Believe in nothing but the goodness in your own heart.
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Send your problems to The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: jon@exposure.org.uk
josh
I’ve got this boyfriend who I’m confused about. One day he tells me he loves me, the next day he gets mad and won’t speak to me for ages. Then I tell him I don’t want to argue anymore and apologise even though I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m getting sick and tired of it all. Please help. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you even still together? Don’t you watch Trisha, Ricki Lake or Jeremy Kyle. Tell him you want to take some time apart to reassess your feelings, then find someone else and laugh in his face when he comes crawling back.
I have a problem talking to my dad. He makes a joke out of everything I do or say, and it’s really annoying. My mum is like my best friend. I can talk to her about anything, and whether it’s sex, drugs, or anything at all, she understands where I’m coming from. Why can’t my dad be more understanding? It’s so hard to please him. Mums are good at talking about things, but for dads it’s just kind of creepy. So shut up and get used to it, or leave home. You’re lucky you can speak to either of your parents about that sort of thing. And why would you want to talk to your parents about sex anyway? You’ve got problems.
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home from O
O
home
By Mark Laidlaw Illustrations by Sanah here are lots of reasons why young people might be in a care home: they can’t seem to get along with their parents; they get abused; their parents have died; or they are not wanted by their parents. I have been in care for three years, and I’ve been in plenty of different homes.
T
There are two different types of care home: a Children’s Home and a foster home. They are completely different.
A Children’s Home is “completely different to what people think” A foster home is living with a family, and it all depends on what type of family you go to live with. Some families will treat you like you are an adult and make you do things independently. Others will do everything for you, which doesn’t really help - if everything gets done for you, how will you ever learn how to do things yourself? A Children’s Home is like you’re living with friends in your own separate rooms. It gives you more privacy than a foster home, more space to yourself and makes you feel more
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independent… then again a children’s home can make you feel like you have no one there for you to help you. It’s lonely. Being in a Children’s Home is completely different to what people think. Before I went in, some of my friends and family had been telling me you get whatever you want, you can go out whatever time you want, you can do what you want, you get £10 a day, and if you ask for trainers or clothes you get them the next day. But none of this is true.
you’re not in on “Iftime you get reported missing to the police”
What’s the real truth? Well, being in care is not very nice. Firstly, every care home you go to you are given a set time to go out and come in, and if you’re not in by this time you get reported missing to the police. Secondly, you cant do what you want.
sanah
If you misbehave, you’ll get sanctions: your pocket money can be held onto for an extra day or two; you can be stopped from going certain places in the house, like the office where you can talk to staff; or you can’t do a chore to earn money. Thirdly, you don’t get money daily. You can earn a bit of
money, a few pounds, every day but you get a set amount of money weekly or monthly which is called your clothing allowance. This is how the money works. Everything you get, you have to work for, but everyone knows nothing’s free in this world.
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A
VOICE Sings
by Sofia Quadri When I first turned to you, The pain you put me through, The words you spoke that were so untrue Your voice spoke with not a care in the world How my spirit felt like it was being hurled. Now when this voice speaks to you, How your words make me come alive. Oh, how this joy makes me want to cry. How I love this life made up of you and I. So sweet the melody your voice sings, So natural the colours and the love it brings How beautifully in my ear it rings. Oh! The lord has presented me with life’s wings.
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Send your poetry to The Bigger Shoe Box, Muswell Hill Centre, Hillfield Park N10 3 QJ Tel: 020 8883 0260, Fax: 020 8883 2906, Mob: 07947 884 282, Email: editor@exposure.org.uk
DIRECTORY YOUTH CLUBS
MENTAL HEALTH
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Muswell Hill Youth Centre General youth project 020 8883 5855
Antenna For black African and AfricanCaribbean young people 020 8365 9537
Hearthstone For people experiencing domestic violence 020 888 5362
Host General mental health care 020 8885 8160
VOLUNTEERING
Bruce Grove Youth Project General youth project 020 3224 1089 Wood Green Area Youth Project General youth project 020 8489 8942 Broadwater Youth Club Structured sport-based programme 07870 15 7612 Triangle Twilight Bridge Club Structured youth project 020 8802 1955
SEXUAL HEALTH 4YP Haringey Young people’s sexual health services www.4yp.co.uk Young Mums To Be Course in Wood Green for teenage mums 020 8889 0022 Outzone Confidential information and support for lesbian, gay and bisexual young people www.outzone.org
STAFF Andreas Koumi Enrico Tessarin Jon Golds Mirella Issaias
Aysha Tegally Flo Codjoe Luke Pantelidou
Revolving Doors Agency Tackling the link between mental health and crime www.revolving-doors.co.uk
DISABILITIES Markfield Project Inclusive services for disabled and non-disabled young people 020 8800 4134
DRUGS AND ALCOHOL Step-Ahead For young people with drug or alcohol issues 020 8493 8525 Cosmic Support for families 0800 38905257
HOUSING Shelterline Shelter’s free housing advice line 0808 800 4444
David Warrington Gary Flavell Max Sycamore
is a registered trademark of Exposure Organisation Limited, registered in England no. 3455480, registered charity no. 1073922. The views expressed in Exposure do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. (c) 2007. All rights reserved. ISSN 1362-8585 AWARDS Purple Youth Award for best youth representation website London Electricity Londoner of the Year Award Nationwide Award for Voluntary Endeavour Phillip Lawrence Award Ed & F Man Award for Best London Youth Publication ADVERTISING If your organisation wants to get its message across to young people call 020 8883 0260 PRINTERS Miter Press Ltd, Miter House 150 Rosebery Avenue, N17 9SR Tel: 020 8808 9776
Duke of Edinburgh Award Programme of personal development 020 8489 8711 BTCV Millennium volunteers national volunteering programme www2.btcv.org.uk
EMPLOYMENT e2e Employment scheme 020 8889 0022 KIS Training Helping young people into employment 0871 200 2321 Tottenham Connexions Centre Careers advice 020 8808 0333 Harington Scheme Preparing young people with learning difficulties or disabilities for work www.harington.org.uk
DISCLAIMER Exposure aims to give young people an independent voice which can contribute to the democratic process. We apologise for any offence caused by the way young people choose to express themselves. While Exposure has done its best to check material contained within this publication, we cannot accept responsibility for inaccurate information provided by outside organisations. Organisations mentioned are not necessarily connected with nor endorsed by Exposure. Permission has been sought, wherever possible, for the use of copyright material. Where contact has not been possible we hope that, as a voluntary organisation helping to educate and inform young people, it is acceptable for Exposure to use such material for the benefit of young people. If this is not the case please let us know and any such copyright material will be removed from future publications with our apologies.
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YOUNG PEOPLE ARE VOICING THE ISSUES THEY ARE CONCERNED ABOUT, AND THAT ADULTS FIND DIFFICULT TO DISCUSS. IT’S NOT JUST SEX, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. THERE ARE MORAL QUESTIONS, UNIQUE PERCEPTIONS OF GLOBAL EVENTS, AND CHALLENGES TO THE DAILY PREJUDICES YOUNG PEOPLE FACE. YOUNG PEOPLE WON’T SIMPLY DISAPPEAR OR CHANGE THEIR VIEWS TO BE MORE CONVENIENT. WE HAVE TAKEN THE FIRST STEP. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. Ellen Davis-Walker, 16, Hornsey This is your chance to say what needs to be said. At Exposure, you can learn how to express yourself using words, images and film. You can pick up new skills, learn more about the media and get ASDAN accreditation too. And it’s all free.
IF YOU ARE 13-19 AND LIVE IN HARINGEY, CALL 020 8883 0260 TO GET EVERY ISSUE OF EXPOSURE MAGAZINE DELIVERED FREE, WHILE THERE IS STILL SPACE ON OUR MAILING LIST. www.exposure.org.uk