MY
DECEMBER 2017
Authentic Life
magazine
Survival Guide
YOUR HOLIDAY
ALLOWING YOURSELF THE GIFT OF
Abundance LEARNING TO BE A BETTER
Giver
TO MYSELF
Dance
In the Face of Hardship
PAUL & CAROL BENSON
MY
Authentic Life
magazine
Happy
We would like to wish y and your family, a
y Holiday
you a very
Imagine All The Possibilities
Leverage Your Small Business To learn more, download your complimentary copy of: Get More Clients Now! 3 Steps to More Clients, More Money, and A Business You Love at ExcellerateAssociates.com
CONTACT US AT:
EXCELLERATE ASSOCIATES 42180 Ford Road, Suite 101A Canton, MI 48187 734.223.3938 | www.ExcellerateAssociates.com
Changing Lives with a Life Changing Magazine CALLING ALL • Entrepreneurs • Foundations, Organizations • Existing Publishers Our Mission is to create awareness by designing a customized magazine for local communities, organizations, or foundations through our publishing efforts. By highlighting true-to-life stories and articles that touch the hearts and minds of so many, we educate, empower and inspire readers. making your publication a must have in any community, organization or foundation.
To find out how you can work with our team of pro that fits your needs, contact Maria Rea at maria.my
ofessionals to create a customized magazine ymediagroup@gmail.com
C O N T R I B U T E R S
Maria Rea As the founder of MY Authentic Life Magazine, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read our extraordinary publication. We aspire to empower and inspire you with articles written by our amazing writers. I believe we are all here for a reason greater than ourselves and to serve a divine purpose. It’s how we choose to react to what is placed before us that allows us to succeed.
Jennifer Knutson
Andrew Savoy
Art Director
Webmaster
MY
Authentic Life
magazine
MY Authentic Life magazine is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY Media and Publishing Group makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com. 12 | MY Magazine
contributing writers
Kathryn Andries Patrick Andries The Dream Experts
Foyin Bademosi, M.S.
Mella Barnes
Carol Benson
Frank Boehm
Liz Bull
Amanda Butler Slade
Sharon Carne
Dr. Krishnan Chakravarthy
Annabell Cohen
Wini Curley
Liberty Forrest
Tamara Green
Dr. Nekeshia Hammond
Kerri Hummingbird
David Larson
Judy Lipson
Lisa Marie Platske
Corey Poirier
Catherine Saykaly-Stevens
Kate Sholonski
Dr. Kate Siner
Janette Stuart
Gary Stuart
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 13
from the publisher
Christmas Shoes I love December. All the hustle and bustle of positive energy in the air, laughter and good cheer, it really is my favorite time of year. It brings the best out in many, showing kind gestures and helping others who might not be as fortunate. Below are the lyrics of one of my favorite holiday songs, “The Christmas Shoes.” If you have not heard this extraordinarily beautiful song, it’s about a little boy who learns that this is going to be his mothers last Christmas and wants to buy her a pair of shoes to go meet Jesus. When a man overhears the boy, his random act of kindness will bring you to tears.
The Christmas Shoes
It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line Tryin’ to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously Pacing ‘round like little boys do And in his hands, he held a pair of shoes His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe And when it came his time to pay I couldn’t believe what I heard him say Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, daddy says there’s not much time You see she’s been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus tonight He counted pennies for what seemed like years Then the cashier said, “son, there’s not enough here” He searched his pockets frantically Then he turned and he looked at me He said mama made Christmas good at our house Though most years she just did without Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,
“Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful”
—Norman Vincent Peale
14 | MY Magazine
Somehow I’ve got to buy her these Christmas shoes So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out And I’ll never forget the look on his face when he said Mama’s gonna look so great Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, daddy says there’s not much time You see she’s been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus tonight I knew I’d caught a glimpse of heaven’s love As he thanked me and ran out I knew that God had sent that little boy To remind me just what Christmas is all about Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please It’s Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Could you hurry, sir, daddy says there’s not much time You see she’s been sick for quite a while And I know these shoes would make her smile And I want her to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus tonight I want ‘er to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus tonight —Songwriters: Eddie Carswell / Leonard Ahlstrom To listen to The Christmas Shoes www.youtube.com/watch?v=An8GRQJ9cdc
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year Have a very blessed holiday season
Maria Rea – Publisher maria.mymediagroup.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com
Together we can create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose and celebrates community by empowering others to live their best life.
START YOUR OWN MAGAZINE TO FIND OUT HOW GO TO MYMAGAZINEGROUP.COM/PARTNER/
Mind n Body Spirit n Busine Budget n HOLISTIC FOR HEALTH, LIFESTYLE AND BUSINESS Looking for holistic products, services and solutions? Find reference-reviewed options here.
Where the holistic business community comes together, online and in person The Holistic Chamber of Commerce stands for excellence among holistic, complementary, alternative, and sustainable professionals, practitioners and businesses. To become a member in your area go to http://www.holisticchamberofcommerce.com
Camille Leon
To follow her blog, go to http://www.holisticchamberofcommerce.com/hcc-articles
ess Planet
feature
page 18
Paul and Carol Benson
In The Face
Dance
Of Hardship
Cover photo by Sarah Clarehart Photography www.sarahclarehart.com
18 | MY Magazine
MY Authentic Life 28 The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself 34 A Joyful Noise 38 How to Handle Family Conflict During the Holidays 42 3 Social Media Holiday Habits that Can Harm Your Accounts 46 Life Lessons from a Dog 48 Remember the Riches of the Greater Good
December 2017
Self-Growth 54 Talk to Tamara Univeral Laws 58 Create Flow in All Aspects of Your Life & Relationships 64 Spotting Opportunities to Lead by Example 68 The Best Present You Can Give Your Family 72 Accepting Your Child’s Differences 76 Allowing Yourself the Gift of Abundance
Simply Spiritual 82 The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean
Wealth Consciousness 102 Sustainable Leadership Made Easy
84 People are Presents 86 Is This As Good As It Gets? 88 Move Beyond Fear and Into Joy 94 Creating an Invisible Impact: Serving, Loving, Caring 98 How to Use Personal Power to Reach Your Next Spiritual Level
Healthy Living 110 The Opoid Epedemic 114 Enjoy the Holidays 120 Your Holiday Survival Guide
Paul & Carol Benson
MY Magazine Photo20 by| Sarah Clarehart Photography www.sarahclarehart.com
Dance
IN THE FACE OF HARDSHIP, by Maria Rea
P
aul and Carol Benson, united as a couple, have made it their mission to help others enhance their existence through personal growth, and expanded their business through evolutionary conscious leadership. Together for 15 years, this extraordinary couple brings a unique desire to change the world. You know the old saying when life throws you lemons make lemonade? Well, that is exactly what Paul and Carol did after life threw them a lifechanging curve. Married in 2006, Paul and Carol began their journey together. Paul, the successful business owner of two multimillion dollar contracting businesses, and Carol, a successfully sought after speech-language pathologist, lived every day being thankful
for the blessings that had been bestowed upon them. Life can turn upside down when you least expect it. In 2008, just two short years after they were married, the recession hit. It wasn’t long before Paul’s business took a deep dive and vanished along with the housing market. Carol’s private practice seemed to disappear overnight as Federal and State Funding cut early intervention programs leaving them both with uncertain futures. Left in the despair of financial worries and creditors calling, Paul and Carol found themselves facing an uncertain future. “We thought we were on track, and this just simply did not fit into our life plans. As all of this was happening, we wondered if it was possible to turn these painful changes into something better.”
GOD ONLY GIVES US WHAT WE CAN HANDLE “In losing pretty much everything, we were very fortunate that our relationship remained strong. We never fought over money or much of anything. I remember there were days I would come home and I would feel so beat up, having hundreds of thousands in bills I couldn’t pay, and people mad at me left and right. Carol would support me in a way that we became champions for each other’s growth,“ Paul shares. “So while we were going through all of our challenges, we actually grew closer together.” “Because of our experience, one day Paul looked at me and said, “Honey we are ‘happy in hell’” and I said, wow, this is a wake-up call, we have to myauthenticlifemagazine.com 21
figure out what we are doing. So we invested a lot of money in our future and started taking training and coach programs. We didn’t know what our future was going to look like, we just knew and trusted we would know it when we saw it,” Carol shares. There are times in our lives when life happens for us, not necessarily to us, and that was what was happening for Paul and Carol. They were reinventing their future, a future that was more in line with who they were. 22 | MY Magazine
EXPERIENCING A NEW DAY “Our big breakthrough was when we hired a Branding and Marketing guy, and he REALLY got us. He asked the question, ‘what was important to us.’ I told him, for me, the call was that we wanted to help people become, more conscious….. happier…… more thriving….. so ‘it doesn’t feel like work,’ and that was it, the name of our business.” Carol shares. That’s when the name of their business was created, ‘It doesn’t
feel like work’. The name is very indicative of what they have created. Their business is a composite of a 9-point system. Different skill areas that they recognize to be the framework of what it takes to do business more consciously in today’s chaotic marketplace. Going through their own experiences, and being forced to look inside themselves for answers, Paul and Carol have learned to teach others how to create the life they desire by looking at themselves from the inside out. Another
teaching tool they use is a book they have written; 5 Steps To Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis As Opportunity, which shows others how to navigate successfully through a crisis. These 5 steps have become the foundation of their coaching business, teaching others to step into their resiliency. “It is really exciting that we have taken all of the challenges that we have gone through together and allowed the next stage to show up for us,” Carol shares.
PARTNER IN HARMONY It is no secret that it can be challenging when creating any partnership, much less one that is created with a spouse. When asked how they created such a partnership, it was not a surprise to hear that the two of them learned through their experiences and rose to a higher place of peace to escape all of the dysfunction that can often occur. Paul and Carol are now teaching others to partner in harmony as well.
LEADERSHIP IN CHAOTIC TIMES There is something to be said about making your mess your message no matter what your circumstance is. Paul and Carol often speak to others about leadership, sharing their experiences, and teaching the message of hope and strength in seemingly hopeless situations. Coaching others to be in alignment with their life mission and purpose is what Paul and Carol have been called to do. “We feel that each generation can mentor each other by sharing and learning from reallife stories. That is the way we solidify and create businesses as a driver of change.” Knowing that leadership starts with both internal and external
behaviors, Paul and Carol look at where core problems exist with their clients. Often times it may be that they are not making enough money, or they are working too many hours, which is a conscious business principle that they have yet to adopt. Paul and Carol coach through analyzing businesses, to see what they are doing to create systems that will serve their employees to step up to their responsibilities. “We find the core problems they have and apply it to one of the conscious principles they are not adapting to their life and business, and help them to implement it. This will up-level every area and they will find that they are making more money. When you get into alignment and start developing the skills we teach, it’s as if that’s where the magic lies.”
Recently, Carol and Paul were invited to become part of the Mindvalley family. In fact, they recently became Mindvalley Master Certified Trainers (MCT) and are co-creating with other global MCTs, founder Vishen Lakhiani, and his team, a “school for humanity.” Carol and Paul are now trained to help others “become limitless,” to learn the advanced level 6-phase meditation, to bend reality and much, much more!
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 23
Paul and Carol work with Corporate Companies, Organizations, Entrepreneurs, and start-ups. ‘It doesn’t feel like work’ is very reflective as to who they are. “One thing that I have noticed is there are so many different things about mindfulness, transparency, gratitude, integrity, authenticity that are all beautiful skills to have and if more of us had them the world would be a better place, but so much of it is esoteric. People don’t know how to drop those attributes into their business and life to make real change that they can see, and that is a part of what we do.”
5 Steps To Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis As Opportunity Going through a tremendous amount of economic strife, the loss of their home, and serious health issues, all while trying to hold their family together, Carol and Paul have always worked together and now teaches their methods to benefit others. 24 | MY Magazine
Having written the book; 5 Steps To Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis As Opportunity, it teaches how to: • Transform ‘overwhelming’ events and feelings into thriving. • Connect with your deepest awareness and stay aligned with it. • Use practical application tools to turn any crisis into an opportunity. They bring the gift of another perspective to any situation. Here is what others are saying about 5 Steps To Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis As Opportunity “If anyone can teach people how to THRIVE in a concise and very human way, it is Carol and Paul Benson. They’ve had plenty of life experience and practice. Following the steps in this book will help you have the life of your dreams, and enjoy the journey along the way.” —Jill Nussinow, MS. RD Author
“I’ve known Carol & Paul Benson for a number of years, and they’re great examples of being “happy for no reason”. They’re an inspiration! Their book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity” offers a powerful, practical guide to help you thrive no matter what.” —Marcie Shimoff New York Times Best Selling Author of Happy For No Reason
BEST ADVICE FOR FINDING LOVE AND LIVING HAPPY Paul:
“When Carol and I came together as a couple, we really let go, which was what was needed for us to actually find each other. If you are looking for that right someone, really work on yourself, love yourself and really know and enjoy yourself. Don’t think that someone else will give you what you need because it will not be a very good relationship if you are in that place of needing.
Carol and I do a lot together, we create what happens in our life, together, and that’s what’s really rewarding. We are different people, we have different options but we appreciate our different strengths. We feel this is something unique that we bring to our clients. We all have to learn to co-create together.”
Carol:
“I love the book, ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff.’ Stuff happens and it’s unexpected. Most of it we would not choose willing, but when it happens what do you do? You deal with it and look within to see what tools you can pull from to grow and then take action. For Paul and I, when we came together we both had a tremendous connection to a higher power, something bigger than ourselves, so coming together as a couple and appreciating each other’s
independence is at the center of our spiritual practice. We are very fortunate in that we champion each other, not try to fix each other. As women, we go through different stages of life and each time we hit one of those milestone numbers, we start doubting ourselves. It seems to be kind of a common thread. So many women feel they are not enough …. not thin enough, not pretty enough, not wealthy enough, and I feel that as women, it is our time right now to realize we are enough and to rise up to the occasion. I’m not talking politically; I’m talking about finding your center and staying true to who you are so that you don’t let someone else convince you what you should be doing. My recommendation for living your life fully: If you have a lot
of “should’s’ in your life, write them down, start looking at them and you will find that so many of them have a story (belief) attached, that is not even yours. It might have been something your parents ingrained in you and you thought you needed to follow it, or a teacher said something to you that impacted how you felt about yourself. So in writing them down, acknowledge them and then throw them away, just get rid of them. Life today and begin your life now.” Paul and Carol currently live in California with their two sons. Their experience of losing everything and come back from the unknown is now benefiting thousands around the world through their teachings. To learn more visit itdoesn’tfeellikework.com
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 25
Loving MY Authentic Life
THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING CARE OF
YOURSELF by Mella Barnes
28 | MY Magazine
I
woke up at 6 am, for no particular reason other than the need to throw up. I couldn’t make it to the bathroom, so I used the plastic garbage can by my bed. I must have food poisoning, I thought, and tried to go back to sleep. The room was spinning. I threw up again. My vision was blurry. It was hard to breathe. What happened last night? I was working on a music project for a client. It was very stressful and I went to bed filled with fear that it wasn’t going well. I had also eaten Chinese food. That had to be the answer. I texted my boyfriend to ask if he felt okay after last night. He was fine. What was happening? Urgent Care. I needed to get to Urgent Care to find out what was wrong. I stood up and crashed to the floor. My heart was pounding. Where are my clothes? I couldn’t see. My heart, what was happening? I called my brother to ask if he could drive me to the doctor. He was on his way. He’ll be here too late, I’ll be dead by then. I called 911. “I don’t know what’s wrong, I’ve never felt this way…” but was that true? For the last two years, I’ve had random spells of dizziness or nausea. I went to sleep, brushing it off as vertigo. I’m also a diabetic, so I blamed it on that. Maybe I was tired. Certainly, nothing else was
wrong, I went to the doctor regularly. Dizzy spells would be followed by long stretches of lying in bed for days. I felt fine physically, just very sad for no reason. It was summer, why wasn’t I outside? Why couldn’t I get motivated to do anything? I’m just lazy, I need to suck it up. Eventually, this would pass and I’d be fine again, willfully forgetting about it. The ambulance came and took me to the ER. Tests, machines, IVs, reports. I would be staying the night for further tests. Ugh, I do not have time for this, I thought, I have so much work to do. I’m going to fall behind. The worries piled up until that evening when the same symptoms reappeared. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was pounding. They gave me a Xanax; I threw it up. Seven people in my room, nurses, doctors, and more tests. A nurse held my hand and made me look at her. “Honey, you are fine,” she said in a soothing voice, “your vitals are all fine. Your heart is beating fast, but it’s beating normally. Your blood pressure is good. Your oxygen levels are good. Everything looks fine physically.” “So then…what…is this?” I gasped, clutching her hand for dear life. She looked at me. “I think you may be having a panic attack.” myauthenticlifemagazine.com 29
I’m writing about this because I think mental health is so important to discuss. The more we talk about it, the more we normalize it. I also want to encourage you to look at yourself and monitor how you feel. If you feel you might need help, please get it. I don’t want you to go so long that you end up in the ER because trust “What? No. This feels real.” How could it be a panic attack? The symptoms felt entirely physical. Plus, I didn’t have panic attacks. I didn’t have anxiety. I had stress, but who doesn’t? I couldn’t possibly have anxiety. I didn’t have time for things like that. They gave me morphine and I went to sleep. I hallucinated that my dogs were with me in the room. More tests may have been done, but I slept through all of them. Morning came and it was time for my other tests. I had a stress test (hah, as if running on a treadmill for a few minutes was in any way as stressful as my daily workload) and an echocardiogram. All normal. I was medically, physically, “fine.” 30 | MY Magazine
I was given a referral to a psychologist and sent home. And that’s it. Currently, as I write this, I am scheduled for an appointment for an evaluation. As terrifying as this was, I learned a great deal about myself and about panic attacks. They are absolutely awful and I do not know how people deal with them at a ‘regular’ job. I am lucky enough to have my own hours and can work around things like this. I also look back over my life and remember how many dizzy spells I had, which likely could have been mild panic attacks. I think about the days I spent lying in bed, unable to find a reason to move. Maybe I shouldn’t have ignored those. Maybe if I had taken them seriously, I could have avoided the major one that put me in the hospital.
me, it’s not fun. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to be evaluating my health and my life. I want to see where my stressors are and what I can do about them. I encourage you to do the same! Let’s make a plan together to take care of ourselves. We can make small or big changes, but let’s commit to doing them and making a positive change for our health!
Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
“Faith Is Taking the First Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
BE UNSTOPPABLE & CHANGE THE WORLD Have Maria Rea, The Publisher Of MY Authentic Life & CEO of MY Media & Publishing Group Speak At Your Next Event TOPICS SUCH AS: • The Power Of Living Your Courageous Life • Empowering Women To Let Go Of Self-Doubt & Fear • Living In An Ego Driven World myauthenticlifemagazine.com Contact Maria at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com
31
W
hen someone suddenly finds themselves widowed, divorced, or retired, they need the answers to critical questions such as, what do I do next, whom do I contact, what am I entitled to, or do I have enough money to retire? These are a few of the questions that Paula Swain, CFP® with Swain Financial can answer for you. When someone is facing a transition in life, it’s important to have resources to help make informed decisions. At Swain Financial we focus on you and your personal situation to advise you of your options, so you can make informed decisions. Why should someone hire me? I can help give you a different perspective. Giving perspective may not sound like much, but it is the most valuable gift I can give. I inform you of multiple scenarios helping you to think outside the box. By giving perspective, together, we can work towards the life you desire and deserve. Every aspect of our relationship is built on trust, and trust is what gives you the confidence to know that at all times, I have your back. Can someone do it themselves? Yes, they can if they have enough time and knowledge, but developing a comprehensive financial plan may require expertise in several areas. A financial advisor can give you objective information, help you weigh alternatives and save you time. A qualified financial advisor such as myself has the expertise to help you navigate a path towards your financial goals. Can I still control my own finances? I make recommendations, not decisions. You retain complete control over your finances. Recommendations will be based on your needs, values, goals, and timeframes. You decide which recommendations to follow, then we work together to implement. Who do you advise? My firm focuses on developing retirement income strategies to help someone pursue a successful retirement. We also specialize in helping after the death of a loved one or after a divorce.
How much do you need for retirement? It depends on how you to plan to live during retirement. Some of my clients have retired with $250,000 in savings but they have both social security and a pension. Others may need a million or more. Having a retirement plan prepared is critical in determining how much savings is needed. What do you see is the biggest risk in retirement? Healthcare. My average client spends annually about $4,200 or $8,400 for a couple on medical coverage, that doesn’t include dental and vision. It will only continue to increase. How much will be needed depends on personal circumstances and will change over time, so it is important to plan accordingly. Does investment strategy change at retirement? Definitely. This is my specialty… Retirement Income Strategies. Before retirement, you will need to anticipate expenses and have an income strategy to meet those expenses. Our goal is to help devise an income strategy using your savings, pensions and social security that keeps pace with inflation and last as long as you do. Ultimately, no retirement income strategy can predict all the twists and turns you may encounter. But if you start with a solid plan and stand ready to make adjustments, you may reduce your chances of outliving your savings. What do you gain from advising your clients? Knowing what someone wants to really do with their life, even helping them to figure it out, is the heart of what I do. Working with them to achieve their dreams is literally priceless. I am dedicated to walking my clients through the steps they need to make, to take control of their financial future and prepare them for a secure retirement. Call me for a free consultation
Paula C. Swain, CFP®
Financial Consultant1225 S Main St. Plymouth, MI 48170 734.738.6300 Office | 734.552.7610 Cell www.swain-financial.comImagine
The futu ours
ure is s to see
Let’s work together. Contact me today to schedule a consultation.
Imagine your greatest goals within reach. Together, we can create a strategy to help make fulfilling those dreams a reality — one that can guide you forward on the path to success.
Paula C. Swain, CFP® Financial Consultant 1225 S Main St. | Plymouth, MI 48170 734.738.6300 Office | 734.552.7610 Cell | 734.237.3959 Fax www.swain-financial.com Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member FINRA/SIPC
A JOYFUL NOISE by Sharon Carne
W
hat would a celebration be without music? Can you imagine celebrating your birthday without someone singing “Happy Birthday?” It’s probably the most well-known song on the planet! 34 | MY Magazine
Have you ever been to a wedding where there was no music in the ceremony? What about a graduation? Church service? Is there a country in the world that has not chosen a song for its national anthem?
What would a football, soccer or hockey game be like without the “We will, we will Rock You!” chanting from the fans? Human beings have been celebrating with song and music for as long as we have been on the planet.
A recent study from McGill University in Montreal found that the neurohormone, dopamine, is released when we listen to our favorite music. Dopamine is the “feel good” hormone. Dopamine affects movement, emotional response, your experience of pleasure and pain. It plays an essential role in our health and wellbeing. Singing the National Anthem is a traditional part of the beginning of most sporting events. The anthem serves a deeper purpose. The music and singing bonds the fans together with the team and excites them emotionally. The link below will take you to a video to give you a sense of the power of this. Steve Perry from Journey leads the crowd in a sing-a-long at the World Series Game 2 baseball playoff game in 2010. Tens of thousands of people singing together is a powerful and profound experience of bonding and community. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=dejm8vJ2pUA
Music and celebration just seem to go together, don’t they? Why is music so integral to celebration? It bonds us together. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Over the past half-century, scientists have documented the release of
the neurohormone, oxytocin, when people play or sing music together. This is the bonding hormone. It is why we feel so good when playing music with others. And it creates a wonderful sense of community.
The next time you are at an event and a spontaneous singalong or dancealong begins, join in! Not only is it fun, it’s good for your health! Shopping Serenade – Nutritious Sound at it’s Best! Sound is a nutrient for the body, mind, and spirit. It is food. Like myauthenticlifemagazine.com 35
listened even more times. Every time I listen to this piece it gives me the shivers. Check in with your body, mind, and emotions before you check out the link to listen and notice. Enjoy this amazing performance and check in again. Do you notice a difference? http://www. youtube.com/ watch?v=wp_ RHnQ-jgU any food, there are sounds that are like junk food and there are sounds that provide us with healthy nutrition. An example of junk food sound is traffic noise. An example of nutritious sound is a bird song or bubbling water from a stream. The sound of your voice feeds your body by resonating its cells. One of the questions I pose when I speak before a group of people is, “What is the nature of the sounds that you make with your voice?” Sound is vibrational energy and words carry vibrational energy especially when they are spoken aloud. Feel the difference in your body between saying the word fear and the word love. Special vocal sounds used since 36 | MY Magazine
ancient times carry with them huge fields of sacred energy that you bring into your space when you say them. Especially when you continue to say or chant them for a while. This is the most nutritious sound food for the body, mind, and spirit. Sounds like OM, AUM, AMEN, SHALOM, ALLELUIA, HALLELUJAH or MA. Here is a chance for you to experience one of these sounds sung by 600 people. On October 30, 2010, the Philadelphia Opera Company organized an impromptu performance of the Hallelujah Chorus by Handel sung by 650 people in Macy’s Department Store. Can you imagine the shoppers’ surprise? I have sung this piece several times in choruses and have
It is one thing to experience the sacred field created by one person toning or chanting sacred sound. It is quite another to experience the field created by 650 people. Truly a choir of angels. Enjoy!
Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com
Lead The Way In Your Community, Organization or Foundation
IT’S NOT JUST A MAGAZINE
It’s a Lifestyle!
Our Vision is a universe that models integrity, cultivates creativity and embraces uniqueness. Together we create a world where everyone has a sense of purpose, lives their passion, and celebrates community by empowering others to live their best life.
Maria Rea
Create your own magazine & be a part of the movement! myauthenticlifemagazine.com 37 FOR MORE INFORMATION, E-MAIL MARIA AT MARIA.MYMEDIAGROUP@GMAIL.COM
38 | MY Magazine
HOW TO HANDLE FAMILY CONFLICT DURING THE HOLIDAYS by Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. and Foyin Bademosi, M.S.
T
he holidays bring up a wide range of emotions for people. These emotions can run the gamut of excitement and joy, to anxiety, sadness and loneliness, and everything in between. Traditionally, holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and many others are celebrated with family and friends. However, as much as we may love spending time with these people, it is sometimes those very family gatherings that can cause exhaustion, frustration, and varying levels of stress. Before the holidays even get here, we may find ourselves beginning to worry about the stress of traveling or the choice and cost of buying presents for everyone. In addition, we may begin to dread the potential tension that may arise as a result of well-meaning questions about our career choices, life partner decisions, parenting styles, or awkward relationships between other members of the family. The holiday season should be a time for celebration, not sadness and worry. The good news is that with a little planning ahead of time, we can prepare our myauthenticlifemagazine.com 39
hearts and minds to cope with potential conflicts that might taint the possibility of a delightful experience. Recommendations for Managing Family Conflicts During the Holidays 1. Be prepared. Think about and understand the environment that you will be entering. Remind yourself that Aunt Mary may still have an inappropriate comment about your weight or your appearance. Uncle Jeff might still pester you for not being married yet. Have a coping mechanism ready for when a nosy family member wants information that you would prefer not to share. Be prepared to handle the emotions that come along with holiday events. Simply expecting the awkward questions or difficult situations can often help us to manage our reactions to them when they inevitably surface.
40 | MY Magazine
2. Focus on the positives and maintain an attitude of gratitude. As cliché as it may sound, it is important to focus on and be thankful for the many blessings around us. Be thankful that everyone is together again, and made it safely to the gathering. Maintaining a focus on the positives will give you little room to dwell on any negative energy that may be present in the room. 3. Be compassionate. Without making excuses for our friends and family, if we broaden our perspectives and think about their own experiences, we may be able to have empathy for them. Many times, other people carry their baggage and project that baggage onto others. Other times, they are simply mimicking the actions and behaviors of people that are in their circle. Responding in a kind way to a negative interaction might steer the conversation towards a more positive direction.
4. Pick your battles. Assess the situation, and decide if it’s actually important to you. Some things are likely inconsequential, and not worth fighting over. It’s also important to note we shouldn’t argue for the sake of arguing. You may want to ask yourself a few questions: - Is this worth addressing? - Will I even care about this later? - What do I aim to achieve with this argument? 5. Be assertive. Express your point of view in a clear and direct manner, while respecting the views of others. There might be a strong cultural and/ or generational influence that results in assertiveness being received negatively. However, assertive communication allows us to communicate our feelings, thoughts, and beliefs in an open, honest way without
violating the rights of others. Honesty without overt emotion may prevent further discussion of sensitive subjects as well. 6. Avoid politics, religion, and general family drama. While it’s perfectly fine to have differing opinions on religion, politics, and the latest family drama, a holiday dinner is not the place to hash out the details. Instead of comparing notes on someone’s ex and relationship history, why not stick to more pleasant conversations? These topics and many other topics for your family, that you know will “spark” discontent and heated arguments, are best left for another time and not a joyous occasion that should be spent bonding with family. 7. Fight fair. As hard as you may try to avoid a conflict, an argument might still ensue
between you and another family member or partner of a family member. If this does happen, remember to “fight fair.” Be assertive, but don’t make comments that go too far or off-topic. Express yourself, while keeping in mind the reasons for why you are attending this function, which is likely to spend some happy, quality time with your family. 8. Take a break. If the holidays get too overwhelming, it’s okay to take a break. Take some time to yourself, and disconnect from it all – even social media. Delay the holiday stuff, and focus on your health. And, if you’re somewhere that becomes too stressful, take a breather outside or in another room to regroup. You don’t have to accept the norm of being stressed out during the holiday season. Instead, make sure you actually have fun with
your family. Reminisce with old pictures, roast marshmallows by the fire, play games, and enjoy each other’s company. Making each other laugh and smile is certainly better than making anyone sad, or fighting over trivial matters. With a little effort, the memories we create now can help future holidays to be a little more merry and bright. Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. is a psychologist, speaker, an author, and the owner of Hammond Psychology & Associates. Dr. Hammond has been featured on WFLA News Channel 8, Tampa Bay Times, Essence, Tampa Bay Parenting, CBS Boston, Ebony and other media outlets sharing her expertise on children and parenting. Foyin Bademosi, M.S. has completed her master’s degree in psychology and is looking forward to fulfilling her dream of earning a doctorate degree in psychology. Check out the Hammond Psychology blog at: www. HammondPsychology.com.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 41
3 SOCIAL MEDIA HOLIDAY HABITS THAT CAN HARM YOUR ACCOUNTS
PLUS 1 TO SAVE YOU TIME by Catherine Saykaly-Stevens
42 | MY Magazine
A
s the year winds down and the multiple December holidays begin, the re are so many reasons to celebrate as we wind down 2017. Will you consider following the popular trend to update your website and social media accounts to reflect the holidays? It seems popular and harmless enough, but you’ll want to keep some things in mind.
1
INCLUSION
It’s the December string holidays, but which one(s) should you include on your website and social media accounts?
may not mean to ignore any one custom but that doesn’t mean that it will be perceived that way. With today’s ‘high-sensitivity’ along with the popular ‘callout culture’ of today’s online audience, if you choose to feature several holidays, it is best to include them all. You will not want to spend your social media real estate defending why you choose to publically recognize some, but not others.
2
TIME WASTED REINVENTING THE WHEEL
Of course, it makes sense to publically celebrate what you practice, however, you have to consider your audience, do they celebrate the same holiday that you celebrate? How will you decide what holiday celebrations you will commemorate?
If you regularly choose to celebrate with holiday graphics, gifs, videos, and posts, then you probably have a stash somewhere of your older posts. As long as you’re not adding the year or contemporary annual messaging, you can rinse and repeat the old posts.
The other consideration is if you choose to celebrate your holiday with a few others, you may alienate those that celebrate what you left out. You
However, do you remember where you stored them last year? Don’t reinvent the wheel. I’ve spoken to some colleagues who actually redo most of their
YOUR ACTION TIP: Decide in advance what you will do this holiday season. Plan it out, down to the day, and what media (graphics, gifs, video, etc.,) will accompany it so you A) don’t rush to create content at the last minute, B) know where you put everything the year before and how you already choose to set it up, and C) remove it all when the holiday is over.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 43
accounts. You’ll have no idea that you’ve lost a follower or (potential) client. The online culture is fickle enough so don’t give people reason to disconnect with you. Having said that, it is your website and social media accounts, but it is your audience who will judge you for it. Enjoy your holidays! See you online, Catherine Catherine Saykaly-Stevens of TheNetworkingWeb.com is an author, speaker, and trainer – a social media Consultant who specializes in Audience Growth and Extraordinary FanEngagement.
posts from scratch because they cannot locate their stash. It’s more common than you think. Do yourself a favor and label each item with the day to post and create a file system so you can easily locate and use ALL holiday items easily.
Set a timer or add it to your To-Do list on a calendar, but don’t leave people with the impression that you are lazy or not attentive to detail.
1 GOOD HABIT TO SAVE YOU TIME: •
Consider it your Annual Holiday Cycle.
3
CLEAN UP AFTER
YOURSELF.
Nothing gets someone’s head shaking in late February than walking by ‘that house’ or ‘that shop’ that STILL hasn’t taken down their Christmas decorations. The same thing is true for your website and social media accounts. When the holidays are over, take it down or update it.
44 | MY Magazine
Create an Annual Holiday Checklist
She mentors entrepreneurs, authors, speakers, and coaches on how to grow their fan-engagement deepening their connection to their community to ultimately lead to audience growth, influence building, and sales conversions. She does that with one-on-one consulting and the Social Media Quick Results Programs. Catherine is also on the Social Media team of the Evolutionary Business Council (EBC) with a collective reach of 203 Million people and is the co-host of two online shows: ‘EBE-Live’ and ‘Social Buzz U’. She is also the Social Media Expert in residence for the Canadian Authors Association.
To improve your storage/filing system for each holiday or occasion you post for.
Catherine Offer
A solid checklist means that you will never forget a detail or miss a step.
Are your social media accounts up-to-date and ready to impress? Take the FREE 21-Day Challenge!
Most people won’t necessarily express their concerns and questions or the fact that they feel excluded. They’ll simple unfollow, unfriend, un-connect, unsubscribe, or ignore your
Catherine offers a FREE 21-Day Social Media Challenge:
Don’t let Influencers, Media, and Potential Clients lose interest in your social media accounts before they’ve even read your content. https://theNetworkingWeb. com/21DayChallengeGetReady/ TheNetworkingWeb.com https://thenetworkingweb.com/
Looking for a new business opportunity?
mymediagroup.com/partner
LIFE LESSON FROM A DOG by Kate Sholonski
46 | MY Magazine
A
bout eight years ago, my husband and I adopted a two-year-old dog from the local shelter. His name was Thor, which we never felt quite fit him since he was terribly afraid of thunder and was not at all a fearless protector. Thor is a mix of Australian Shepherd and a retriever of some sort. He has a sweet personality and a delight for life and has been the provider of many life lessons for us since he became part of our family. Very early after coming home, I got to witness his delight for life very clearly, which was my first and most important lesson from Thor. We started off for a walk early one morning when there was very little traffic on my street. At first, I kept him on a short leash teaching him the command of heel. He was obviously trainable and seemed to understand as he followed my commands. After a while, I decided to give him some length to his leash to see how he would use his freedom. No surprise to me, he delighted in having more room to explore. He sniffed every inch we traveled. Sometimes he’d pause to more thoroughly enjoy a certain spot, or perhaps to identify a particular scent. Clearly, he was tuned in and aware of all that surrounded him. When our path crossed with that of another walker, he’d politely sit and wait to be petted. It was as if he knew how lovable he was and welcomed the kind attention that was naturally offered by these new friends. His ears would also perk up becoming super alert when another dog was in the vicinity. It seemed as though he desired to create a new relationship and was tuning in more closely so he could get to know this new canine acquaintance more deeply. As I watched Thor enjoy the freedom of exploring and his openness to making new friends, I thought about the length of my own, self-imposed
leash. I realized that sometimes I keep my leash short by only doing what I know well with the people that I know well while not veering far off my usual, familiar and comfortable path. When this is the way I live, whether it be due to a fear of failure, not being accepted, getting lost, or simply because I am not present, I realized I miss out on the thrill of the unknown and the delight of making new friends. After Thor showed me how much fun it is to explore every inch of my path, changing direction on a moment’s notice and being present to every delectable experience and person, it became my intention to consistently give myself a very long leash. When on a short leash, I know what to expect, yet I don’t grow or learn as much, and it certainly isn’t as much fun. A short leash may feel safe and secure, but I always have a longing for more. After all, what’s the worst thing that can happen? When a leash is long, it allows me to move in any direction, including the one from which I just came. Kate Sholonski transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have coauthored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 47
REMEMBER THE RICHES
OF THE GREATER GOOD by Gary Stuart
48 | MY Magazine
W
THE GREATER GOOD
Where are we now in this special pre-holiday moment?
We are all aligned with the greater good
ow, what a year! It’s so hard to believe 2017 is closing in on us with the holidays and 2018 beckons our attention.
Did we accomplish our goals that we set forth in January 2017 that was only 11 short months ago? Did we get so busy that we forgot our goals? Are we now too preoccupied with Christmas and other holidays to even remember anything else? Looks like all of the above can be true. There is no guilt or shame here, as life unfolds as it should and time unfolds in its own way too. The flow is the flow as time moves forward with big plans, and we all seem to be along for the ride. The biggest thing that I ponder during the extra busy holiday season is ... What makes us happy? What are we grateful for? How can we serve those in need? For many, it’s a season of lack or even hardship. Do you have extra (anything) Clothes? Food? Money? What if you could use that extra “anything” to brighten someone else’s holiday spirit? Does it even make sense to spoil your children with numerous plastic toys and gifts that will be forgotten in a day? How about teaching them the true spirit of giving and receiving on Christmas Day or whatever seasonal holiday you are celebrating. Helping a family in need even if they are total strangers will teach children many good and enriching lessons. I know it will make you feel richer and more fulfilled in your heart with gratitude and joy. “After all, those with less, need more and those with more, need less,” and the holiday season seems to magnify those needs a hundred-fold. Making others happy at Christmas time, can be the best gift you can ever give, not to mention it shows the true spirit of the holiday season which was LOVE and PEACE too!
We all start small and then grow tall for the greater good follows us all The greater good isn’t about “should” but rising up to whatever can be that is good for you and good for me The greater good may come and go, but goodness lives on longer than we know Live your life with the greater good in mind it’s as easy as being happy and never unkind We all have regrets as to what could have been Living in the greater good we put our best foot forward When doing this you’ll never be ignored The greater good has the future in mind it’s not paying attention that leaves out the sublime. Always keep the greater good in mind by being kind which allows the greater good to shine. A reminder for those grieving a loss this Holiday season.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 49
REMEMBRANCE As you celebrate this festive holiday season give a special blessing to any missing person or those not with you for any old reason. Raise your glass to the missing ones be they long lost daughters or warkilled sons, your deceased parents or anyone shunned. Set a place at your table for them to take part, if only to let them know they still reside in your heart which will always be the best loving place to start. Include those missing and dearly departed or gone. Remember they have a place and will always belong. In the BIG scheme of things, they did nothing wrong. It’s now up to you to complete their unfinished song. It’s now time to raise your glass and fill it with cheer as you think of the missing ones as though they were here. Hold onto their memory tightly, as you know they are near. Whisper their name lightly as if they could hear “I love you.” Their memory now lives on deep within your soul -- To know this and feel this is worth more than gold. Happy Holidays to all and may you live long and become old. Then “yule” be the missing one -- so let this story be told… A loving remembrance is more precious than gold.
50 | MY Magazine
Ironically, we all run around crazy during the holiday season to get the perfect gift that no one really wants or really even needs. It’s almost a symbolic offering to show that you care. It’s a nice gesture but not as rewarding as to show a total stranger you care. It’s also a great way to teach your children a new way to celebrate the holiday! In doing so you acknowledge your abundance and your joy to teach your children about the true spirit of the season. There are also many charities who could use your support. By choosing a charity of choice, it teaches your children how to support those less fortunate. Sending financial support to Puerto Rico or other hurricane-ravaged cities is a good idea as well. It’s really something to think about. When you see all the glitz and all the advertisements to buy this or get that on Black Friday, it creates holiday craziness followed by retail pandemonium. It’s far from the original intention of the holiday season of warm camaraderie and love. Loving your children, loving your family and those close to you are actually the biggest gifts of all. Enjoy them, have gratitude, and let them know you will serve someone in need, in their honor for the greater good. Here’s to a very Merry Christmas & the healthiest & happiest 2018! Gary Stuart Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He Speaks and leads healing workshops and training nationally and internationally and resides in Southern California. His Distance, Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! Contact Info: Gary@Chifield.com Office (888) 369-9980 Cell (310) 758-2052 His FREE Consultation: www.testyourhappiness.com and www. GaryStuartPRessKit.com
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 51
Self-Growth 52 | MY Magazine
Talk to Tamara
Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. by Tamara Green
UNIVERSAL LAWS
54 | MY Magazine
Hi Tamara, I’ve been enjoying your three-part series on the Universal Laws. Thank you for giving me a better understanding of them and how to put them into practice. I’m happy to say that I’ve gained new insights into the relationship issues that my husband and I have been experiencing. Therefore, I’m looking forward to reading the final four Universal Laws. Signed: Grateful
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 55
Dearest Grateful, Perpetual Transmutation Energy constantly moves into physical form.
I’m happy to hear that this series on the Universal Laws has been beneficial!
•
In this three-part series, I shared that the Laws are principles by which everything in this Universe is governed and that when you apply and align with them, your life flows with ease and grace. The four Laws from last month’s column were:
Drum role please… it’s time for the last four Universal Laws.
•
Cause and Effect Nothing happens by chance or outside Universal Laws.
•
Compensation Abundance is your inalienable right as the Divine Being that you are.
•
Attraction Like attracts like.
56 | MY Magazine
Understanding Universal Laws and Putting Them Into Practice: Relativity Nothing can be bigger or smaller, lighter or heavier, better or worse, until you relate it to something. Attention: Practice gratitude for every situation because, relatively speaking, there’s always someone else that has it much worse than you.
Polarity Everything has an opposite: light-dark; good-bad; up-down. Awareness Exercise: To transform your negative self-talk, it’s important to focus on what you desire more than what you don’t desire. Higher thought equals higher vibration. However, it can be difficult to concentrate on the positive when there are issues in your relationship. To help shift your focus, try this four-step exercise. •
List all the things you don’t want in your relationship any longer. For example: I don’t want my husband to look away when I’m trying to tell him something.
“Remind yourself often that the Universe has your back and that all is well.” —Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u)
calm in minutes by downloading the free Loving Meditations App. For more information, go to calmcancerstress.com. Want dating and relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s guidance and finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles by clicking here.
•
•
•
One by one, turn each of the ‘I don’t want’ statements into a ‘I want’ statements. For example: I want my husband to give me eye contact when I’m trying to tell him something. Turn your ‘I want’ statements into ‘I am so happy and grateful that’ declarations. For example: I am so happy and grateful that I feel heard by my husband. What you focus on expands so with your full attention, spend five minutes each day repeating your ‘grateful declarations’. Commit to doing this for the next 30 days. Notice how things begin to shift within you… and eventually, within your relationship.
Rhythm Life is a series of seasons, cycles, and patterns. What goes up must come down and vice versa. Attention: During the “negative” part of a cycle or pattern in your relationship, rise above it by focusing on the benefits of what’s to come. Gender Every idea or seed has a gestation or incubation period. Attention: Have total faith that your relationship goals will actualize in physical form when the time is right. Remind yourself that the Universe has your back and that all is well. For those who are going through a challenging experience, like cancer and other medical illnesses, feel
Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Please follow Tamara Green, LCSW (@tamaragreen4u) Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; Facebook facebook.com TGreenLoveExpert; youtube: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A myauthenticlifemagazine.com 57
Connecting You With You
CREATE FLOW IN ALL ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE & RELATIONSHIPS MANIFEST WHAT AND WHOM YOU REALLY DESIRE! by Amanda Butler Slade
58 | MY Magazine
I
t’s a time of feeling Gratitude for the Past as we live in the Grace of the Present Moment and look towards the future. It’s a time to create the intentions and visions of what we want to ‘live into’ in 2018. 2018 is the Master number year of ‘11’. It will call us to be Master Creators and to create from our intuition and innate Wisdom that we each have, and the Wisdom we cultivate as we live life. We will all be playing a ‘bigger’ game, which is most likely beyond our current scope and reality. It will be quite a journey into the unknown just as 2017 has been a journey of new beginnings and awakening. It is an exciting time and it can also be a daunting time if we continue to hold onto what we know and what we ‘think’ we know. 2018 will amplify, “what you think, you create”. If you don’t like what is being created, then change the thought, belief, and perception, then the feelings and results will change. We will also be playing in the polarities of energy, so tapping into our intuition and Wisdom will be important so we are not pulled out of our own centeredness and balance due to outside forces and influences. It will be a dance with the energies of positive/ negative, masculine/feminine and passive/ active. Will you dance the dance with ease, grace, and flow or through suffering, struggle, and inertia? During this month of December, you still have the opportunity to lay the groundwork for your new beginnings as we close out 2017, which has been a new beginnings year. Remember, 2017 sets up the tone and tenor for the next nine years. It is the energetic foundation on which you will build upon and create within. So, if you have patterns or manifestations that no longer serve you, now is the time to both let them go and complete ‘old’ energetic cycles. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 59
from your experiences and the knowledge they have brought you? Can your next year be your most powerful, prosperous and joyous year ever in all aspects of your life and business?
Freely Loving, Launching or Living Operatizing Wisdom
WISDOM ©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
Wisdom from The Diamond Co-Creative System™
To better help you understand, let’s explore and play with the Concept, Identification, and Action of Flow. Flow is the movement of energy, or any element, such as air, water, love, joy, money, etc. And it is either an Etheric, Radiant or Vibrant Flow. As we Acknowledge the open or restricted Flow, we identify the type of Flow and its intention and purpose. Then, we come to understand and feel the action of the Flow.
The Cosmic Energy Form of Wisdom from The Diamond CoCreative System™ provides energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you tap into the energies of Universal Source and activate your Soul Code of Wisdom. It helps you to tap into your innate Wisdom, to utilize the Wisdom you’ve gained from experience and to allow the Wisdom of the Universe so you can Consciously and Purposefully create what you envision. You become MORE aligned with your Soul’s energies and the Universe’s Highest Potential that is held for you.
Flow is continuous, whether it is freely flowing, or even when it is limited or blocked. There is always some sort of movement even when you feel stuck. When you admit that you’re stuck, you can then recognize that your energy is not flowing, or flowing the way you would like it to flow.
Let’s look at how your life, relationships, health, wealth, business is flowing so you can make the adjustment and course corrections to manifest what you REALly (Realized Energy Aligned with Love)
The process of Etheric, Radiant and Vibrant Flow is not necessarily linear, but more so it occurs on multidimensional levels in all time, space and dimensions and within all parts of your ‘BE’ing and Soul’s Essence.
60 | MY Magazine
desire. Are you in Flow to manifest what you desire from a place of ease and grace? Can you tap into your inner Wisdom as well as operatize the Wisdom you’ve gained
Etheric Flow is the Concept you receive, or the energy that’s being designed within the Etheric for you i.e., in the form of imagination, ideas and inspirations for things such as writing a book, designing a project, developing new teachings, or expanding other parts of your life including your growth, spirituality, health, money, relationships, career or business, co-creations and much MORE. Etheric Flow is the energy of Eternity … infinite possibilities and probabilities. The Etheric is that which is above you so to speak in the ethers, in your superconscious and Soul, and within the Universe waiting
to be ‘downloaded’ into your Consciousness and egoic/ personality Self. The Etheric Flow ‘downloads’ into your mind and heart and becomes Radiant Flow. However, depending on what is occurring vibrationally within your cellular memory, your energetic patterns, your chakras and your Energy Bodies (especially the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual Bodies), the Etheric Flow is affected in how it is assimilated and integrated. Does it Flow in a free and expansive manner, or is it energetically limited or blocked in some way? Radiant Flow is the Identification of the type of energy. It is the energy
‘downloaded’ and infused by the Etheric Flow. It is the Radiant Flow of energy that is brought ‘online’ within your heart and mind as the human being who stands within it. The Radiant Flow is affected by your energetics, thus the presence of the vibrations you currently ‘hold’ within your patterns, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and encodings. Is the Etheric Flow easily assimilated through a Radiant Flow of energy? Are you vibrationally aligned with it, or are there incongruent energies, which create stress, blocks, and difficulty in aligning with the Etheric ‘downloads’ and your Highest Diamond Potential?
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 61
Flow freely through you and is in vibrational alignment with your desires and intentions. It is the ‘who’ you are vibrationally ‘BE’-ing within your energetic makeup and design and with your intention. This is the ‘BE’-ing part of the co-creative process of manifestation. It is what you think, feel, believe and know.
So what Radiant Flow of energy are you standing within … LOVE, joy, compassion, grace, ease, passion, purpose, thrival OR fear, suffering, struggle, sadness, judgment, doubt, worry, survival, etc.? What are you Radiating out within your cellular memory, your energetic patterns, your chakras and your Energy Bodies, then ‘vibing out’ to others and to the Universe? What is congruent or incongruent with your intention? Radiant Flow helps you to understand the intention and purpose of what kind of energy is showing up within you and around you. It provides important data, so you can create the changes required if your Radiant Flow is incongruent with what you want, and does not allow for the manifestations you desire. OR if the Radiant Flow is congruent with your desires, it helps you build momentum as the Etheric and Radiant Energy 62 | MY Magazine
Vibrant Flow is an Action which you take (Consciously or unconsciously) in co-creating the Radiant Flow to become physical manifestation on the planet. The manifestation may not be what you desire because of who and what you are ‘vibing’ out. The Vibrant Flow is who and what you ‘vibe’ out to others and to the Universe. To change your results, you must change your vibrational alignment to the Etheric Flow and within the Radiant Flow of the energy within you. You must address it on a vibrational energetic level. This means you must energetically heal and complete the past, the ‘old’ patterns, conditioning, programming and the paradigms you currently cocreate within, if they’re not giving you the outcomes you want. The Vibrant Flow is what you ‘DO’ to develop, implement and produce as the physical form of your Radiant Flow. This is the ‘do’-ing part of the co-creative process of manifestation and the projection out into the world.
It is the result and outcome of your ‘BE’-ing. Suggested Meditation: I AM open to Identify and understand the Flow of my energy in any given moment so I may move forward to cocreate what’s in my Divine Order and Highest Diamond Potential. So celebrate the holidays … feel the gratitude and love you have for your Self and others. Celebrate what you’ve manifested this year. And if it’s not all that you desire, adjust accordingly … there’s still time. Allow your Self to move into the FLOW of your desires for 2018! Happy creations! Amanda Butler Slade is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE! For More about Amanda and how a Soul Reading can help you, go to http://cocreateyoursuccess.com/ soul-reading-special/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife
BE UNSTOPPABLE & CHANGE THE
World Have Maria Rea, The Publisher Of MY Authentic Life & CEO of MY Media & Publishing Group Speak At Your Next Event
TOPICS SUCH AS: • The Power Of Living Your Courageous Life
• Empowering Women To Let Go Of Self-Doubt & Fear
• Living In An Ego Driven World
Contact Maria at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com
SPOTTING OPPORTUNITIES TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
H
ow often do you think about doing something that doesn’t follow the ‘expected pattern’, but you hesitate to step out of line onto a new path? The following experience reminded
64 | MY Magazine
me that we all have the power to lead by example from any position. In addition, you can have a lasting influence even when your deviation from the typical path is subtle.
I voted recently. Voter turnout was great, and there was a line of approximately 50 people outside the polling place waiting to get in. I took my spot at the end, and the
in the gutter for several feet, and then made a 90 degree right turn (not at a corner) back onto the sidewalk and headed directly toward the door into the building. There was no apparent reason for the gutter detour. Nevertheless, I watched as person after person stepped off the sidewalk at exactly the same point as the person in front of them. They moved along the gutter for about 15 feet, and then each one turned back onto the sidewalk where the line headed for the door. I decided to NOT step off the sidewalk into the gutter. I was eager to see if the people behind me would follow me, or if I would be the anomaly and the people behind me would still step into the gutter. I didn’t discuss this with anyone around me or try to gather permission or support. I was quietly excited to carry out my private experiment. Besides, this was making the wait in line much more interesting!
line built up behind me as it slowly progressed in front of me. After about 10 minutes, I looked up from my book and noticed that the path of the line in front of me went along the
sidewalk toward the building. At a specific location, for some unknown reason, the line detoured one step to the left, off the sidewalk into the gutter. The people in line remained
What happened? EVERYONE behind me stayed on the sidewalk! I don’t know if anyone noticed the pattern change and chose consciously, or if they all just simply followed the person in front of them – which I did not do! I heard absolutely no conversation about this change. As the line kept moving forward on the sidewalk, the number of people in the gutter got smaller and smaller as we passed the place where those before us had stepped off the sidewalk. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 65
None of the people in front of me noticed what was going on behind them. They did not step back onto the sidewalk ‘early’ before the turn toward the door, even though it would have been easy to do. They had committed to a course, and they all stuck with it. After I voted I came outside and noticed the line was even longer. Now, everyone in line was on the sidewalk all the way to the door. No one was walking along the gutter. None of these people had seen what I had done to change the pattern, yet they followed the new pattern I established. That is when I was surprised to realize I had not only achieved leadership with my experiment (setting a new path that others followed), but I had also achieved influence. Those who were unaware of me or my actions also followed the pattern I established. Consider what things you do routinely because you have always done them that way, or because you are following someone else without really thinking about it. What patterns or habits does this story bring to mind for you? There may be a process at work that you have always wondered why it is done a particular way. Perhaps there is a simplification or more efficient step you can recommend. I am not suggesting you go completely rogue when there is a structure that needs to be followed. However, don’t 66 | MY Magazine
give up on the possibility of improvement until you have an example that you have tried and can share appropriately with others in a positive way. Don’t wait to mention it until there is a breakdown. During the holiday season, with the stresses of additional activities and family gatherings, notice where you might lead by example and have a positive impact in a social situation. Perhaps there are some family patterns of communication (or lack of it) that are messy and unnecessary. What simple steps can you use to improve the situation? Consider how you can share the change with others either quietly by example or by request.
parking lot, not a busy street. However, it was unnecessary and messier (due to the recent rain) than staying on the sidewalk. In addition, as darkness approached and visibility deteriorated, someone could stumble and fall while stepping off or back onto the curb.
To summarize, here are 3 tips you can use to help you spot both subtle and impactful opportunities to lead by example: •
It is beneficial and fun to look up from your book (or work, or project, or habits) and notice what is around you that offers a leadership opportunity.
•
Stop and consider how your ‘normal’ way of doing things can be improved. Are there aspects that are now unnecessary and/or messier than they need to be? Clean them up sooner rather than later. Don’t wait until the situation becomes a problem. For example, the gutter detour was not dangerous. This was a church
•
Making a difference in a community doesn’t always require explanations, or obtaining permission, or a position of authority. Sometimes simple actions of leadership are enough, and the influence lasts. Clear and straightforward improvements can be easily adopted and accepted by others.
When I got home from voting and shared this story with my husband, he provided his additional bonus tip: “Like your mind, it is best to keep your feet out of the gutter.”
Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 67
THE BEST PRESENT YOU CAN GIVE YOUR FAMILY by Kerri Hummingbird
F
or most of us, the holidays are a time of reconnection with family. This can be a precious time filled with special memories when your family feels like a safe, supportive space. However, the more stressors there are for the 68 | MY Magazine
individuals within a family, the more likely it is that gathering together will increase collective stress during the holidays. Especially this year when 63% of Americans report feeling stress about the future of our nation,
62% feel money stress, and 61% feel stress about work (“Stress In America: The State of Our Nation�, American Psychological Association). Whew! The holidays this year
can be a powder keg when you combine all that stress with the normal stress of interacting with the people who knew best how to push your buttons. So what can you do to increase the potential for family memories
filled with laughter, meaningful conversation, and uplifting interactions? Give your family an awesome P.R.E.S.E.N.T.! •
PRESENCE. If your mind is spinning over the latest
challenge at work while your children are vying for your attention, how likely is it that you give them a dismissive response that’s barely audible over the hum of your brain’s background processing? If the television is on and the news is broadcasting the latest controversial debate, what’s the chance the debate will leak toxic energy into your family gathering, causing argument and hurt feelings? What I’m suggesting is that it’s up to you to decide whether you want your holiday to be a runaway train or an intentional moment with loved ones. While it may feel vulnerable to look into the eyes of your aging parent and listen with rapt attention to the latest aches and pains, consider this: this moment might be your last with your parent. In fact, this moment may be your last with your child. There are no guarantees. My Dad passed away just one month ago, so I am speaking to you from my heart. Love with full presence, hug often, listen deeply, speak your heart, and absorb every moment. Connect so deeply that you have no regrets. I am so grateful that every time I saw my Dad I connected to him from my complete deep presence. I soaked up his laughter, the twinkle in his eyes, the hard-won wisdom, and the feel of his arms wrapped around me as I lay my head on his chest. I’ll never feel him again, but I know I hugged him as much as he would allow me to! I wish the same lovedrenched moments for you. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 69
•
RESPECT. More than likely, you don’t agree with all the viewpoints of your family members. It’s a cosmic setup the way we often are born to be diametrically opposed to our parents, siblings and children. My parents are baby boomers who have a lot of faith in Western medicine. I am a gen-X woman who found transformation in alternative healing and Eastern medicine. One of my sons shares my beliefs, the other one doesn’t. And while my mom jokingly tells me that I am a “fringe-person,” we made the agreement to respect one another’s points of view and agree to disagree. (Interestingly enough, several years after I gave up trying to convince my mom about my perspective, she is now
70 | MY Magazine
receiving acupuncture!) As I worked to heal my own family relationships, I realized the way to freely give respect was to let go of my ego’s perspective that I know best, release my judgements about others, and embrace the truth: each person is a unique being with experiences and special sauce that makes them who they are, and informs how they view the world. It’s not up to me to tell someone who they should be. It’s for me to appreciate who they are. •
EMPATHY. When a family member is going through a challenge, it’s so tempting to fling solutions over the fence to help them solve it quickly. After all, if you look closely enough, maybe you’ll realize (like I did) that all those well-meaning
suggestions are actually designed to help yourself by fixing the problem so it will go away. It’s so uncomfortable to watch someone you love suffer! Ignoring the issue is another way we side-step the opportunity for a deep connective moment. But pretending the elephant isn’t in the room creates a great deal more tension than simply acknowledging the truth of the moment. What’s much more deeply felt, and so much harder to do, is to name the challenge (“I can feel you’re going through a difficult transition and I want you to know I’m here for you”) and then simply witness your loved one’s suffering with an open loving heart. Empathy is the ability to vicariously feel what someone else is feeling, without taking it on
as your own. It’s a huge gift to empathetically hold nonjudgmental space for someone to freely express themselves. And…as Brené Brown tells us, vulnerability is shared with someone who has earned the right to hear your story. •
•
SPECIAL. Look for ways to create special moments of connection among family members. A moment of silence while holding hands around the table, a rowdy clinking of glasses for the family dinner photo, a fun game of sharing favorite family memories, a thoughtful note from your heart to each person in your family sharing what you love about them---these are the types of moments that open our hearts, bring laughter, and become fond memories. My family is a bit unusual in how we ‘pray’ at family dinners, and it all started with a moment of silliness from my Dad decades ago. We were holding hands in somber prayer around the table one holiday meal, and my Dad looked at us each with a twinkle in his eye and said “We’re going to try something new this year. At the count of 3, everyone yell ‘Grace’ as loud as you can!” Our eyes lit up with this mischievous idea and we gladly lifted our voices, quickly followed by giggling. I’m sure we were heard high up in the heavens! It tickled each of us so deeply that we do it every time we gather for a holiday meal. Now that my Dad is passed, it offers us a way to remember him with joy and laughter. NON-ENGAGEMENT. Have you ever been to a family
gathering where a political debate got started, or a debate about an old family grudge? Debates are often about proving who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’ which can lead to shutting down the heart, eating on a stomach filled with tightly controlled anger, and getting outta there the moment dessert is done. In every family are people who step up on the soap box to hook others’ attention and end up dragging the room’s energy into a downward spiral; they may not be aware of the underlying motive which is often to transfer toxic emotional energy. When faced with this situation, or other interactions that poke at your trigger points, the best policy is non-engagement. Just because the hook is thrown out there does not mean you need to bite… are you a fish? If you notice emotion rising within you, get up, move, and even take a walk around the block. Blow off the steam, put the hot potato down, and then return with resolve to not engage in the dynamic. Later on you can return to this experience with a mentor and heal yourself of the inner hooks that snared you. Every time I discover one of these trigger points now, I am immensely grateful because I know that’s one more inner block I’ll be able to release to let even more love flow through my heart. •
TRUTH. If I had a penny for every white lie told in my family to protect someone’s feelings, I’d be a millionaire! So often we hold back the truth and soften it by telling a half-truth, or keep silent all
together. The problem is that the truth is a resonance that can be felt, and it doesn’t vibrate at full resonance until the whole cat is out of the bag. When we feel that partial truth vibration, it makes it difficult to fully open our hearts because how can we trust when something’s telling us we’re not standing on solid ground in our relationships? Uttering the truth for the first time can be painful to speak and hard to hear, but after the initial trauma, the dense smoke clears out of the air with the fresh breeze of liberated truth. Pairing truth with compassion and understanding is a recipe for deep family bonds. My Dad used to say that “Life is only a movie” anytime things got too serious or heavy. As a writer, I always loved this idea because that meant I could make my life a movie filled with meaningful, passionate moments. How can you create the best holiday movie ever for your family by sharing your P.R.E.S.E.N.T.? Read samples of Awakening To Me and From We To Me at http://kerrihummingbird.com/ my-magazine-book-samples Kerri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, awardwinning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in leading by inspiration and a special passion for empowering women to be the artists of their lives. She mentors women to rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose, and realignment to authenticity and truth. www.kerrihummingbird.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 71
ACCEPTING YOUR CHILD’S DIFFERENCES
72 | MY Magazine
DO YOU HAVE A CHILD (OF ANY AGE) WHO IS NOT LIKE YOU? by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
I
have worked with a number of families. Sometimes the client is the parent while other times the client is the child or an adult child. Regardless, our conversations are often about scenarios that show how the child is wired differently from the parent; yet frequently neither really understands this. Here are the main topics that come up.
SOCIAL I see a number of individuals who avoid social scenarios. They may only have a few friends, and may even avoid time with their family. This can be very disconcerting for a parent, and this is what I often hear: “My child seems lonely, and I don’t want him/her to grow up alone.” “Why is his/her school/college experience so drab? Why can’t s/he enjoy it? Why doesn’t my child go to school games and
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 73
HELPING YOU FIND PEACE WITH IT ALL HAVE APPROPRIATE EXPECTATIONS - What does your child need to develop to his or her fullest potential? This might not be what you needed as a child, teen or young adult; and it may not be what your child’s siblings or other family members need(ed). ACCEPTANCE - When you have complete acceptance of your child, as they really are, then you can better provide them with what they need. (Please note that most neurodiverse kids have a built-in radar detector for being judged and will be more apt to reach their potential when you can truly accept them for who they are.) BOUNDARIES - Just because you fully accept your child as s/he is, doesn’t mean that there are no rules or expectations. Make sure that your rules are appropriate for your child’s age and developmental level, and recognize the difference between willful disregard and sensory overload. The latter might draw your child into actingout behaviors or withdrawal, but your child is being self-protective rather than being manipulative. Then follow up with.... CONSISTENCY - Sometimes it’s appropriate to be flexible, but also remember that your child may require or appreciate knowing what to expect. Without being rigid about your rules, be sure that you follow through. All children appreciate knowing the expectations and the possible consequences. Don’t threaten a consequence that you can’t, or shouldn’t, follow.
74 | MY Magazine
parties? College, tailgating, and parties were an amazing experience for me, and s/he is not participating!” “Friends are important, and my child is missing out on social opportunities and experiences!” If your child is a Sensitive (neuro-diverse) and experiences sensory overload, s/he will want more alone time and may seem more anxious, moody, or intolerant of others and their environment. It’s also possible that s/he misunderstands social scenarios and communication. This child is not wired like you and does not receive the same pleasures in social company as you. As a matter of fact, I hear these individuals describe social activities as anything but fun. Let’s remember that they are very sensitive to the energies, the sounds, and the people in their environments. In addition to the sensory challenges they usually don’t have the social skill set that you (a neuro-typical) do, and they find every social or communication encounter as a potential landmine: “What do I say/do in this situation? Will it be right? Will they approve? Will they make fun of me (again)?”
both. Educators have known for decades that children learn best via different preferred methods. Your child may learn best visually (books and worksheets), by listening (lecture/discussion), or kinesthetically (movement and hands-on). Some prefer to learn in groups, while others (see the social issues above) learn best when they work alone. Unfortunately, our schools don’t fully allow for these differences. In order to successfully navigate the school years your child probably requires a lot of your help.
Teaching these individuals the nuances of conversation, and developing their confidence and self-worth will significantly help, but they are still not wired like you. As a result, they will likely prefer more isolated experiences than you do. This does not mean it’s bad. They’re just different.
ACADEMICS/CAREERS Parents hope and expect that their children will grow up to have amazing and prominent careers. Many families expect their children to go to college and study finance, business, law, medicine, etc. Graduate school is often an expectation. Yet, the academic experience of these different kids may not provide them successful college (or K-12) experiences. For your student, school may be boring or confusing, or
College can be a more positive experience for your different child. Encourage the selection of classes that are enjoyable and interesting that are offered at times that match their sleep/ wake rhythms: this may be one class per day, avoiding morning classes, etc. S/he may need to live at home initially to continue to benefit from your supports or might do best in a single dorm or even an apartment. College students are often expected to take a very large credit load to be considered full time. Your child may only be able to handle 1-3 courses. The needs of each child are unique. Regardless, your child may still require your guidance for executive functioning skills (organization, lists, time management, etc), which you have been providing since it is not their strength. This child may be incredibly wise and academically brilliant, but not be best suited for the
career choices that you dream of for your child. I recently had a college student explain that the traditional liberal arts classes became boring much too quickly and this student failed to find the purpose in attending and learning. This same student realized that a course like Computer Design (CAD) provides more immediate feedback of progress and accomplishment, and with this information has renewed interest in pursuing a college education and degree. If you were the parent of this student would you be able to release your own dream for this child’s career? What if the child’s preferred interest was something like culinary? If you find yourself living your own dreams vicariously through your child, you are cheating both of you of a full life experience. Hopefully, this guide to understanding and accepting your different child provided insights. I welcome hearing about your own experiences. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom. net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 75
76 | MY Magazine
ALLOWING YOURSELF THE GIFT OF ABUNDANCE IN ITS MANY FORMS by Janette Stuart
T
he holiday season is in full swing. Thanksgiving has passed and perhaps with it thoughts of abundance. As you are preparing for the end of the year celebrations that you observe, remember to give yourself a gift this holiday season: the gift of abundance in its many forms. Put yourself first on the list so that you may better breeze through the holidays and into the new year with more love in your heart and joy in your life. You are so worth it. These gifts of abundance need not even cost any money. Often, it is just a slight shift in our perception that brings forth the “allowing”, the realization of the gifts that we already have and celebrating them for the precious commodity they are. Today, I’d like to invite you to consider allowing yourself the gift of abundance in its many forms. I used to think abundance only meant money. Money is certainly part of the gift of abundance, and there are many other types of abundance which are a gift to us, too, if we allow them into our lives
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 77
and see them as a blessed gift. Health, finances, job, home, relationships, divine connection, ideas and inspiration, freedom, time, intellect, resources, electricity, safe drinking water and the availability of enough food in our lives are some other types of abundance we may take for granted. I live in Northern California, and in October, there were many wildfires to the north of us. Over 40 precious souls lost their lives. Thousands lost their homes, businesses, and all material possessions. Many more survived and were just grateful to be alive.
waiting to evacuate their homes, waiting to learn if their house was still standing, fighting the fires or helping restore services. I was extremely tired as I held space for all and sent prayers of love, safety, and encouragement. Each day, I required a nap and extra sleep at night. I allowed myself the gift of extra sleep during this time to restore my mind, body, and soul. What a gift of abundance this extra rest was to replenish myself. What gift of abundance is knocking on the door of your heart today, dear one? Will you allow yourself to receive this gift?
We were not directly affected by these fires, but for several days the smoke in our area was a grim reminder of loss. I feel things deeply as an empath. I was affected on a soul level and physical level for those experiencing the fires first hand, the first responders and those who live or work in the area.
Grab yourself a cup of your favorite beverage and ponder these questions. You may even want to journal about the goodness, the grace, the freedom and the absolute abundance you already have in your life. You may want to call forth more abundance into your life, as well.
Brushing my teeth and sleeping in my bed felt like a huge gift of abundance to me during this time as so many were in shelters,
These past few months, I have been focusing on bringing forth more abundance in its many forms into my life. The more I
pay attention to the goodness and grace coming my way, the more abundance I notice. I have been reading books and articles about the Law of Attraction and have been drawing a daily “Money, and the Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks and the Teachings of Abraham®” card during my morning quiet time. What a blessing it has been; what a gift of abundance in my life. Another gift of abundance I am allowing in my life is writing a series of books about joy called “On a Path of Joy”, and I invite you to come visit http://bit.ly/ AAJMSproductline to see what other goodies are delighting my days. Cheers to you, dear one, as you move forward during this busy time of year with gratitude in your heart and abundance along your path. I commend you for taking time for yourself and savoring the promise of abundance in your life. May you delight in abundance and may you share it with others. May you and yours be blessed with every joy today and in the coming year.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding. 78 | MY Magazine
ADVERTISING THAT WORKS
Be seen in MY Authentic Life Magazine
info@mymediagroup.com
SIMPLY Spiritual
THE DREAM EXPERTS
What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Dream Expert,
I dreamt I went to my friend’s house and I brought a couple of pears with me. Soon I felt something biting me. They were these little red fire ants. My daughter was also being bitten by these fire ants. I realized they came from the pears. I told my friend the ants came from the pears. I was anxious because I thought my friend would tell his wife, who is uptight and might be angry that I brought the ants into the house.
I am on an airplane going to some vacation spot. I look out the window and can see the ocean and houses. As we get closer to landing I can see more details. Next, I am swimming at this hotel pool. There is no one when I get there, but then the pool starts to get crowded, so I want to leave. I decide to go in the ocean instead. I walk on the beach and then I get in the ocean.
Sincerely, Aggravated
Sincerely, Fun in the water
Dear Fun in the water, Dear Aggravated , You have some good knowledge that you are sharing with a part of yourself (represented by your friend), however, you are unable to enjoy the knowledge due to some pesky habits (the fire ants). This habit is even interfering with a newly developing part of yourself (your daughter). You fear how this habit will also affect a part of yourself that is uptight (your friend’s wife) and would not appreciate this habitual thinking.
82 | MY Magazine
You are using your thoughts (airplane) to get you to a place of relaxation (vacation) so you can connect to your emotions (water). You have awareness of your mind (houses) and your emotions (ocean). You are enjoying pleasant emotions (swimming in the pool), but then you become too emotional and want more peace. You realize you can enjoy your emotional life (ocean) without it becoming too intense. Kathryn and Patrick Andries, the Dream Experts, are teachers and co-founders of the School of Intuitive Arts and Sciences, www.intuitiveschool.com.
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Locked Away,
I dreamt I was in this strange house, and part of it wasn’t finished. There were beams and open walls. There were rats running around. I was thinking of ways we could get rid of the rats. I thought we could put poison out, or tell the apartment management to take care of the problem. I wanted to get away from the rats, so I started walking around the house. I found a door, and when I opened it there was another door behind it. Then I entered a room that was decorated with fancy furniture and had large windows. It was very large and had an open floor plan. There was a living room with a piano, and this room opened up to other bedrooms. I looked around for rats and didn’t see any sign of them. I went to lock the door to the other part of the house, but I couldn’t lock it. I didn’t want anyone else to come in, so I pushed a dresser in front of the door.
You are exploring a part of your mind that is new to you. This area of your thinking is still developing, and there are some habits that are bothering you (rats). You think of different ways to get rid of these habits (rat poison), and eventually, decide to think differently (going through the door). This new way of thinking is vast and expansive. This way of thinking shows you have self-respect and value. There is also the opportunity to create harmony (piano) when you think this way. You don’t want negative thinking to upset you, so you use an organized way of thinking to prevent this from happening (putting the dresser in front of the door.)
Sincerely, Locked Away
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 83
Presents PEOPLE are
by Liberty Forrest
E
very person you meet is like an unwrapped present, even if you don’t see it at the time, even if it’s a one-time meeting, and even if you bristle. Everyone with whom you interact will reveal 84 | MY Magazine
something about yourself if you pay attention, and the gift of self-awareness allows you to be more fulfilled and ultimately to live a happier life. Some people may appear to touch you more than others.
Something connects your soul and theirs in a way that is inexplicable. Familiar, certain, strong, frightening, wonderful, exciting; you don’t need words but there is no denying what has happened.
Even if you do nothing at all, you can connect with the energy of other people. You may simply walk down the street and it happens as you pass them, glance at them, or smile at them. Or if you don’t.
that benefit you and everyone you meet. It’s like tapping into the energy of all other people, connecting everyone all together, and leading all of us in the direction of growth and fulfillment.
But that exchange, no matter how brief, gives both you and the other person an opportunity to learn something about yourselves. It may be strength, it may be fear, but seeing you can trigger something within them that could lead to a major transformation and you will never know anything about it.
Your energy has the potential to affect everyone you walk past, everyone with whom you speak or interact, even briefly. In one way or another, you have the power to initiate great change and transformation in others, whether you know it or not.
And that works both ways. But whether it is perceived as a positive meeting or a negative one, with just one reaction from you, you have inadvertently created a chain of events that ties you together, suspending that moment in your history forever. This is how powerful you are.
No matter how weak you think you are, it is your power, and not your powerlessness, that is what can really frighten you. Once you understand and accept this, you have the key to tapping into your power and creating ripples and waves
We are not separate from each other, but rather, we are particles of energy that collide and affect each piece of solid matter that they hit.
Contemplate your energy, your power. Consider how it radiates, the message it gives. Then align it with your spirit and maximize the potential for it to serve its highest purpose.
Liberty Forrest is an award-winning inspirational author and Huffington Post contributor. For five years, she did frequent phone-ins on the BBC as a psychic/medium. With a background in social work and counselling, Liberty’s unique program uses a highly creative multifaceted approach to get people unstuck so that they can move forward in their personal and spiritual evolution. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 85
IS THIS AS GOOD AS IT GETS? by David Larson
I
n a well-known 1997 movie called “As Good As It Gets,” Jack Nicholson plays an obsessive-compulsive man named Melvin, struggling to make sense of life and deal with his many fears and challenges. In one scene, a frustrated Melvin walks through the reception area of his psychiatrist’s office, posing the question for all who are in the waiting room,“What if this is as 86 | MY Magazine
good as it gets?” Thought ever crossed your mind? Trials and discouragements can weigh us down, driving us into the ground with what can seem like insurmountable challenges and responsibilities. We can wonder why we have to face such problems, and if our dreams will ever come true. What if Melvin had the question backward? What if no matter
what is happening in our lives, in the long view, this is as bad as it gets? I often get distracted by the things of this world, like who likes me and who doesn’t, how my bank account is shaping up, or the condition of my health. This can lead to worry and a feeling of burden, even emotional or physical agony. What I need from time to
are One with all human beings. Unity, peace, and harmony are what await us as we learn more effectively how to love each other. So remember that when you feel hurt by a family member, this is as bad as it gets. Remember, when conflict springs up between you and your friend, this is as bad as it gets. Remember, when your kids are driving you crazy and you want to pull your hair out, this is as bad as it gets.
When you realize nothing can separate you from the love of God, this is only a glimpse; it will get better yet.
Remember, when you are ill, lonely, tired, or in pain, this is as bad as it gets.
If you and I took our focus off our problems and put it back on our blessings, what would we see?
Remember when cancer strikes, you break your leg, the house burns down, or you have a car accident, this is as bad as it gets. Remember, when a loved one dies, this is as bad as it gets.
It’s much more helpful to remember that we are walking toward the Love Source from which we came, realizing we
Remember when your paycheck comes to help cover your bills, this is only a glimpse; it will get better yet. When you remember the beauty and innocence of your children and the miracle they are, enjoy them and know; it will get better yet.
Remember, when your bank account is empty, this is as bad as it gets.
time is a reminder that the heaviness we experience in this world is encapsulated in a minuscule fraction of eternity. Not remembering our spiritual nature can make this life at times seem harsh and cruel, and distract us from the truth that love conquers all.
calls you to say hello and you let yourself feel loved, this is only a glimpse; it will get better yet.
Remember, when war breaks out and innocent people are sacrificed, this is as bad as it gets. Remember also, when your tummy is full and your body is warm, this is only a glimpse; it will get better yet. Remember when you catch the sale and get a good deal, this is only a glimpse; it will get better yet. Remember when your friend
Have you noticed even the worst of days has always been followed by better ones? Isn’t that a miracle? As we learn to look for the positive in life, deepen our sensitivity to those around us, see the innocence in each other, and practice the love we came here to learn, life will get better. Currently, it’s as bad as it gets. Isn’t that great?! David is a licensed psychologist in private practice who has been leading people into life fulfillment for more than thirty years. His work with Kate Sholonski at Triumph Leadership Group involves creating and sustaining healthy and productive relationships in the workplace. David is a contributing author to four books, has been a TV talk show host, and resides in rural Minnesota with his wife, Carol. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 87
MOVE BEYOND FEAR
and Into Joy by Lisa Marie Platske
H
ave you ever been overcome by fear and it actually prevented you from doing something you believed you were called to do?
He had heard about my work from other senior leaders in the community and was interested in seeing if I could get similar results for his organization.
Years ago, a senior executive for a global manufacturing company that made automotive electronic components asked me for a proposal to do training and consulting work within his organization.
We met several times and during each meeting, he shared his vision for his team.
88 | MY Magazine
On our third meeting, he invited me for a site visit so I could physically see his operation.
His company had over a dozen facilities and were positioning themselves for massive growth. He recognized the organization needed to have strong leaders to take them to where they wanted to go. And, that’s where I was to come in. After the visit, he asked for an outline of a plan of how he could bring his vision of creating
that by the time I actually did, he was no longer interested in my services. Ugh. Writing about this incident still makes me sick to my stomach. Fear keeps you from taking risks and stepping into your calling, mission or purpose. If you allow its grip to get ahold of you, it can erode your quality of life as you never venture very far from your comfort zone. Today, I’m clear that fear is only a chemical response to an unfamiliar situation that scares us. Because it is a natural reaction designed to keep us safe, it’s normal and necessary. Here are three things you can do to move beyond your fears?
1. CHOOSE UPSIDE.
world-class leaders to life. I believed in him -- and I could see how this was possible for him to do. And, he believed in me - and how my expertise could help him realize his vision faster. Yet, every time I sat down at my desk to write up the proposal, I froze.
Even though I had someone who believed in me AND wanted to work with me, when I sat at my desk, I heard voices that told me that I wasn’t good enough to take on this project. Every. Single. Time. And, the fear of failing within this organization kept me feeling small - and I waited so long to get him a proposal --
Fear often bubbles up because of negative beliefs. If you expect the worst to happen and worry about what could go wrong, you will become paralyzed by what you presume to be true. Yet, if you focus on your talents, gifts, and abilities and see through an Upside lens, your fear will lessen. Even if fear does rear its ugly head, you can keep it into perspective as you step into your confidence and truth.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 89
If I would have done that, I would have submitted the proposal in a timely manner. Instead, my fear won out and I lost an amazing opportunity to work with a company that inspired me.
2. CLAIM YOUR TRUTH. What you worry about rarely ever happens. While that may not be comforting when you’re in the middle of choosing to step out of your comfort zone or stay where you are, if you pay attention to your truth and what you want vs. what you think might happen, you get to spend your time working on what is vs. what might be. Now, when I get invited to do work in an organization that stretches me, I call up a few colleagues and ask them to brainstorm ideas on how I can submit the best program within the proposal. I take action, stepping into my expertise. 90 | MY Magazine
By doing this, my fear gets small because I change my perspective and claim my truth.
3. DO WHAT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. When you choose to feel the fear and do it anyway, you are making your commitment to your mission and calling more important than the feeling of not having something work out the way you planned. Fear is a feeling designed to keep you safe and when you give it too much power, it will take away your joy. Choose to do what makes you uncomfortable because the magic happens when you step outside your comfort zone. I invite you to implement one of the three steps to move beyond your fears and into the joy that comes from being aligned with who you are, what you want, and why it matters.
Choose to be a leader worth following. The world needs you and your brilliance. Lisa Marie Platske left her actionpacked life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An award-winning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE (www.DesignYourDestinyLive), she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.
change
Be the you want to see
mymediagroup.com/partner
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 91
Picture a child singing into their hairbrush, playing chords on an air guitar, or a child who has always dreamt of dancing on stage. Now think about what those simple things represent to an underprivileged child. These children are looking for a way to creatively express themselves, but are limited due to their financial situation. They think they can only dream about doing these things, but with your help and generous support we can give them the tools and education so that they can take their pretend world and make it real. The Foundation provides scholarships in vocal instruction, dance, acting, instrumental music, film and audio visual to children ages 7-18. We are building partnerships with local schools as well as other community organizations to identify students who meet the financial needs requirements. To find out more about Scholarship Information visit applaudourkids.org DID YOU KNOW? Students who take four years of arts and music classes average almost 100 points higher on their SAT scores than students who take only one-half year or less. Low-income students who are highly engaged
in the arts are twice as likely to graduate college as their peers with no arts education. The Zzak G. Applaud Our Kids Foundation was created in honor of our Dad, Zzak G. who was a singer/songer and was extremely passionate about the performing arts. Our Dad was an inspiration to us and our children as well as all those who came into his life. He always said that he practiced the religion of kindness. Three years ago, he was diagnosed with ALS and within 6 months he lost his battle. His passion in life was music, the performing arts and watching his grandchildren as they performed on stage Please take a moment to listen to Zzak G. perform two original songs. Rhymes of a Child: https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=a7lUaVdh7cc Homeless: https://www.youtube. com/watch?v=0SmsJNiARxM PO Box 994 Barnegat, NJ 08005 848.333.2819 | Jodi@ applaudourkids.org DONATE NOW
CREATING AN INVISIBLE IMPACT: SERVING, LOVING, CARING. by Corey Poirier
94 | MY Magazine
I
t probably sounds weird to say, “here is a strategy for creating an Invisible Impact”. One might think that creating an invisible impact should be something that happens by accident. It’s probably safe to say that Gandhi, Mother Teresa, and Martin Luther King Jr. weren’t taking steps daily in an effort to change the world solely so that they could then say, “hey, look at the impact I had.” Still, after personally interviewing over 4,000 thought leaders, I can state with a great deal of certainty that most of us do care about the impact we have. Whether we believe our legacy is something people decide about us when we’re no longer here or something they simply say about us behind our back when we’re not around, my research has shown that we do care about our legacy to some extent. Whether the person who carries the groceries for the elderly lady takes time to reflect on the impact of that action, one thing is certain, their actions leave clues as to how Invisible impacts are created.
who worked with Terry Fox during his heavily inspirational Marathon of Hope tour that saw him running 26 miles a day, on one leg, across Canada. Fox’s goal with his run was to raise awareness about Cancer. Fox started that tour in a van with his friend Doug, and even though he didn’t know what kind of an impact that decision would have, he was certainly conscious that he wanted to raise awareness about the devastating disease that is cancer, and to have some kind of impact on the amount of research that was taking place. The Invisible Impact of that action is still being felt today and since that time, some 650 million has been raised in Fox’s name for cancer research, and children who weren’t even born during his lifetime are running in his name on an annual basis to this day. Imagine if we ran our business, or lived our life, in a way that could have even a tiny fraction of that kind of impact. The amazing thing is that it can all start with a smile, or a simple action, at the right time.
If we desire, we can use these clues to learn how to create positive impacts, and ripples, more consciously.
Last summer, my girlfriend, our dog Sprocket, and I, set out on a 26 State, 5 Province, 16-day Invisible Impact Tour. During the tour, one of our stops was the Jimi Hendrix Memorial Site in Seattle, Washington.
Just recently I interviewed Bill Vigars. Vigars was the PR guy
We spent about an hour at the gravesite, and during that time,
5 groups of people came to pay tribute to a man who created an Invisible Impact some 45 years ago. It wasn’t Hendrix’s Invisible Impact that was on display for us on that day though. Near the end of our visit, a man drove up to the memorial site in a little red car. He popped out of the car and, with surgical gloves on his hands, made his way around Hendrix’s memorial site, picking up every piece of litter. Just as quickly, he jumped back into his little red car and drove off. This action had a massive Invisible Impact on me once it occurred that he probably lives nearby, and drops by regularly simply to pay tribute to Hendrix in return for the Impact Hendrix had on him. I’ve shared this story with thousands and many have commented how the story touched them despite the man’s action being so seemingly small, and further that his actions have inspired them to find small ways to create their own positive ripples. More recently, I interviewed Musical Comedian Jimmy Flynn. He shared this nugget with me, “If you walk around with a smile on your face, others smile. If you walk around with a frown, others frown. Why would you want to leave someone worse off then you found them?” myauthenticlifemagazine.com 95
Again, the action can be as simple as a smile. The takeaway here is that personal and professional Invisible Impacts are happening every day, and you can intentionally create a positive ripple in your life, and in the lives of others, regardless of how small (or grandiose) the action seems.
Here’s how: “People should serve for the sake of serving, love for the sake of loving, and care for the sake of caring.” This is a paraphrased quote Chicken Soup for the Soul CoCreator Mark Victor Hansen shared with me during a recent interview. Mark’s quote provides the clue
to where creating your own Invisible Impact begins. If you find a way each day to passionately serve, to love unconditionally, and to truly care; you will begin creating invisible impacts daily in the lives of others, and in your own life in the process. Your life and your legacy will thank you for it.
Corey Poirier is an award-winning Keynote speaker, multiple-time TEDx, PMx and MoMonday’s Speaker. He is also the host of the top rated ‘Conversations with PASSION’ Radio Show and a newer top rated speaking related podcast, founder of The Speaking Program, he has been featured in one-hour television specials on Eastlink TV and TeleTelevision and he is a columnist with Entrepreneur Magazine, Progress Magazine. He has also appeared / or been featured in Global TV, CBS, CTV, NBC, ABC, CBC TV, Second City, and is one of the few leaders featured twice on the popular Entrepreneur on Fire show. Corey has interviewed over 4,000 of the world’s top leaders in search of success traits. One of his most recent talks took him to New York City where he had the extreme pleasure of speaking to At-Risk Youth at the Brooklyn Navy Yard Boys & Girls Club. 96 | MY Magazine
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER Lynn is a Psychic Medium born with clairvoyant, clairaudient and precognitive abilities. She first became aware of this gift at age five. As she grew older her abilities developed, receiving messages from the Other Side, first from family members who’d passed and then messages from loved ones of people around her. Lynn describes this gift of guidance from Spirit as “Second Sight.” During a reading, Lynn will take you on a journey from your past where she will peek into your childhood, to the present and offer you channeled guidance from Spirit as you continue on your Spiritual Path into your future. Serving as a conduit between the Spirit World and this world, Lynn conveys messages from those who have passed with the intention of providing validation, healing and further guidance to their loved ones here. Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
• In home
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 97
HOW TO USE PERSONAL POWER
TO REACH YOUR NEXT SPIRITUAL LEVEL by Dr. Kate Siner 98 | MY Magazine
U
nderstanding how to use personal power to reach your next spiritual level is the key to achieving this transition. According to writer and theorist Ken Wilber, development is a continuum of processes that take us from psychological “growing up” to spiritual “waking up”. Growing up refers to our personal development, while waking up refers to our spiritual development. In other words, our individual development of personal power allows us to reach our spiritual enlightenment. Your personal power is central to your spiritual growth. The key component of this empowerment is recognizing that you are “at cause” for everything that happens in your life. In other words, the common denominator in each and every situation you encounter is you. Taking responsibility for your life, in a loving and compassionate way, will launch you to your next spiritual level. Here are a few action steps you can take so that you can learn how to use personal power to reach your next spiritual level: Eliminate Blame: It takes two to tango. Yes, the person you’re in conflict with may not have done right by you, but before you go on the offense, figure out the ways you have contributed to the conflict situation. The time you spend thinking about your own contribution to a conflict is not meant to assuage guilt from anyone else, but it will help you see your own role and help you be as constructive as possible with your feedback. Be honest with yourself. Be Constructive: How to use personal power is often about looking for ways to create more
of what we want. If you do not like the way a situation -- or even your whole life -- is going, you can choose to create more of what you want. Spend less time discussing, arguing, or even engaging with what you are trying to get rid of, and start to focus your efforts in the direction you want to go. Communicate Clearly: Clear communication finds its ground in your personal power. It is from the place of clarity and responsibility that we find in our personal power that we are able to constructively interact with the world around us. From here, we are able to let others know what we truly want, and negotiate the details of how it comes to us. The clearer that we are with our communication, the easier it is to create and cocreate our vision for our life. Set Intentions: Our spiritual development is grounded in our ability to be intentional. What do we want to create in our life? How are we showing up to each moment? Being intentional is a sign that we are effectively using our personal power. It is a sign that we are connecting to ourselves and what the deepest part of ourselves wants. Be Gracious: What good is a sense of personal power if we leave a wake of disruptions behind us as we claim our place in the world? A sure sign that you are using your personal power effectively is that you are able to be gracious in most situations. This ability to be responsive, kind, and supportive will ensure that you have less to clean up as you change your life and will allow you to take your next steps more easily.
Dr. Kate Siner is an award-winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, speaker, author, and radio show host. Kate has a Ph.D. in Psychology and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be. Kate has developed a series of successful personal development programs, newest of which is Group Healing Intensive. Learn more at www.katesiner.com or at admin@katesiner.com. UPCOMING EVENTS:
LifeWork Community 2018, Registration now Open! Create positive change in the world, starting with yourself. Registration for Dr. Kate’s LifeWork Community program is now open. One part motivational training, transformational incubator, and spiritual odyssey, it’s the nourishing and supportive tribe you have been looking for. Be seen and celebrated while you do your best work for yourself.Learn more → http://katesiner.com/ work-with-me/personal-development-programs/lifework-community/ myauthenticlifemagazine.com 99
Wealth Consciousness
Manifest your destiny
SUSTAINABLE LEADERSHIP MADE EASY by Carol Benson
A
family member, who also happens to be the president of a very large corporation, actually laughed when I told her about us doing a talk recently at a Sustainable Enterprises Conference on, “Sustainable Leadership in Chaotic Times.” Her response was, “Or, unsustainable as it may be!” She laughed despite how stressed out and frustrated she seemed to be.
102 | MY Magazine
That’s the way many in leadership feel these days. A magnitude of responsibility is weighing on leaders to not only lead more effectively but to also to do it in a way that doesn’t burn them out. And for many women, sustainable leadership is not something we were honed in for our training or experiences. And to many, sustainability commonly means reducing carbon emissions on our planet and recycling! Go green, right?
Sustainability as a movement was ahead of its time thirty years ago. The time is now for bringing in a new dawn of more sustainable leadership practices. It is a timely solution to the viral pathos of declining engagement within business cultures today which is at an all-time high. What’s the remedy? Well, of course, becoming a Sustainable Leader! Women in C-Suite, upper management, as
entrepreneurs or experts in their domains in leadership positions, have hoops to navigate. If they do too much they’re called bossy or masculine. Your multi-tasking goal completion magic can be threatening to others. There’s a lot of pressure on your style of leadership which impacts rapport and your success track. If you fail to notice you’re needing to learn something new, a negative impact on your business will result. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 103
a threshold or even dying. In my humble opinion, a critical point to pay attention to is that a threshold must be crossed so that something new can emerge. Letting go of something we think we know or control can be experienced as a death, as stepping into the void. Power has little to do with it except for your skillfulness in discerning the best choice decision in each circumstance.
With women now more than ever before stepping into increasing visibility in business, there might be some envy and judgment by others of any rise in power. And confusing as it may be, it’s perceived as a rise of power and not the actual reality. Is power really leadership? Take for example my family member, how much power does she really have over policies? I know that she’s really aware of the deficit of engagement in most corporate cultures. Understandably, without truly allowing those in leadership positions to actually make viable shifts in the internal business culture, there’s a lack of sustainability across all divisions and teams. It’s important to understand that leadership really doesn’t have all that much to do with power. Confused?
If the role that’s calling to you now in both your business and personal life isn’t nourishing and sustaining you in more ways than just financial, it’s the time to untether yourself from “it.” Whatever that “it” is it’s not sustainable long term. Is it the time right now for you to untether something that’s not serving you in leadership? Perhaps begin with your own perception of what leadership is. With the stakeholders pointing fingers at those of you in leadership, your ship might be sinking. If you still want to be doing what you’re doing, it’s your path to become more sustainable in the way you approach your role as a leader. Your other option is to go down with the ship. When you look at what the results of cultural dysfunction due to spotty leadership causes, it can be an eye-opener. Here are some examples of a potpourri of scenarios:
Then let’s create a uniform understanding of what leadership is.
•
Pushed back deadlines
•
Marketing campaigns aren’t delivering
The word Lead comes from the Indo-European root “Leith” which means going forward, crossing
•
Employees you personally took under your wing are jumping ship for other companies.
104 | MY Magazine
•
Low morale and teams ineffective at collaboration
•
Profit, growth, and revenue seems harder to meet projection goals
•
Not exemplifying the desired ideal across all levels!
•
You’re working too many hours and are exhausted and stressed out!
If any of the above sounds familiar, then maybe the time is now for you to release what’s not working and electrify new opportunities. Most of you probably upgrade your mobile phone every year or so, right? The technology is moving so quickly that if you held onto your old phone for three to five years, it would become a relic. Sustainable Leadership may feel beyond entertaining as a benchmark goal. What if you began to look at leadership in a different way? Do you really have to do it all alone? You may think that you have to do it alone for the “right way” results. But really, what’s needed in today’s chaotic environment, where business isn’t predictable and everything shows up unexpectedly, is to become more resilient and less isolated. That’s how to take yourself to a higher level of sustainability. And that means developing within you an unlimited leadership capacity. And while you’re at it, why not take the rest of your teams with you too? That’s certainly more sustainable long-term!
Third Act: Women Finding Fire & Fulfillment After 50.” Marianne Williamson spoke on “The Healing Power of Forgiveness.” To paraphrase her potent thoughts on forgiveness, each one of you carries memories of a burden, a heartache, a belief about not being enough in some way, that gets in the way of sustaining peace of mind, confidence, happiness, self-love…you name it! All the rich layers that have formed who you are. Forgiveness releases any negative thoughts that diminish your effectiveness in leadership. Particularly relevant to leadership is that when you form new wisdom inside you, others in your orbit can also rise up fostered by your leading. To do that you must consider that a “top of the list” possibility that’s important to achieve. Whether you’ve had children or not, you’ve birthed something new, haven’t you? A new idea? A new business? A relationship? Project? You’ve brought it forth. And whether you are over fifty years of age or in your thirties, you might consider that when you are most juicy, most alive, excited and creative in your role as a leader, you’re birthing something new. It could be a new marketing campaign or product launch. Or mentoring a younger woman as she begins stepping into her own unique leadership shoes. Of course, you also get to lead a diversity of genders too. Sustainable leadership gives others’ confidence in emerging or existing skill areas. Step into Sustainable Leadership. Begin by asking Yourself: •
What’s your own leadership confidence level?
In other words, embrace collaboration as your new “go to” leadership trait. Allowing others to grow their leadership skills too will upgrade not only efforts, profit, growth, and efficiency but also increases engagement and loyalty too. When you demonstrate how you can take a situation of something that’s not working and by using a flexible mindset make refinements, speaks volumes about your leadership skillfulness.
•
Do you doubt or get stressed by challenging decisions?
•
Do you fret over small details you could delegate?
•
Are you trying to swim uphill or coast downstream 80% of the time?
•
Are there some areas you need to build more skills in?
A recent online summit hosted by The Shift Network, featured the topic, “Thriving in Your
•
Do you have a daily practice that replenishes you? myauthenticlifemagazine.com 105
Humans have a natural drive and tendency to grow. With the cultivation of skill growth in others, the entire business culture can make more of a positive impact on others. It’s the anti-boredom antidote. And the skills do not even have to be limited. What if someone on your team wanted to develop more confidence speaking to someone they’ve just met or in negotiating or in collaboration? Feeling they can share an innovative idea and run with it as a project? Those are all important skills that boost confidence and overall energy levels to feel less stressed out and more engaged at work. Begin with increasing your own possibilities. Use your own awareness to grow to another level and take on new skills, even if that feels uncomfortable, hard or impossible. What if as a leader you looked for opportunities or gaps to invite others to step into? It’s another piece of the sustainable leadership puzzle. The new solution to true Sustainable Leadership is to focus on the WE and not only the YOU! That’s when you can shine in being the true leader you are inside. 106 | MY Magazine
It begins from the inside out. Business, as usual, is about selling a product or service. Engaging employees with sustainable leadership makes business, as usual, a growth opportunity for all. When you make the choice to expand, you also begin saying a “NO!” to atrophy and staying stuck. You’re actually inviting in NEW POSSIBILITIES to be on a success track as a sustainable leader. Carol and Paul Benson are both accomplished mentors, authors, speakers and trainers. Carol, a licensed Speech Language Pathologist, specializes in emotional and relational intelligence strategies and leadership training for business teams. Paul Benson, a multimillion dollar business owner, is well-versed in cooperative team development, sales, negotiation and helping businesses improve their performance using unique best business practices. As authors of the highly-acclaimed book, “5 Steps to Thrive: Reveal Any Crisis as Opportunity,” (2013, Highpoint Life) Carol and Paul know firsthand what it takes to use a wider scope of mindsets as the competitive edge in a fast-past, ever changing global marketplace. itdoesntfeellikework.com carolbbenson@gmail.com
MOVE YOUR BUSINESS TO THE NEXT STEP & BECOME FINANCIALLY FREE You are TALENTED! You are BRILLIANT! You are UNSTOPPABLE!
YOUR BUSINESS SHOULD BE TOO! If you struggle with marketing, sales, branding or your overall vision we can help. To find out how you can move your business forward set up a discover call with Maria at maria. mymediagroup@gmail.com
“Faith Is Taking the First Step Even When You Don’t See the Whole Staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 107
Healthy Living
110 | MY Magazine
ADDRESSING PAIN IN THE 21ST CENTURY
THE OPIOID EPIDEMIC by Krishnan V. Chakravarthy, MD, PhD and Frank Boehm
U
pwards of 50 million people suffer from some form of chronic pain in the US alone, where three million of these individuals experience neuropathic pain. On a global scale, chronic pain impacts close to 1.5 billion individuals, with 25% enduring lower back pain. As we all know, even slight pain associated with a throbbing toothache can throw off our day, distract from our concentration on important material, and impact our relationship with others. More intense chronic pain can distort and significantly alter virtually every aspect of our lives. It is therefore not surprising that this situation has led to the emergence of the current opioid abuse epidemic, where people are simply desperate to find relief!
In the midst of humanity’s attempts to grapple with this immense and increasingly vexing challenge, novel technologies are rapidly emerging that show great potential for the sustained alleviation of pain in all its forms. How do we as patients, understand and maneuver through this multitude of different options, while still making sense of what is best for our mind and body. How do we convey the suffering that we are undergoing to physicians? After all, pain is an individual sensation; in fact, due to a genetic deficiency, there are certain individuals who do not feel pain. How then, can we make physicians understand? We live in an age where information is accessible to practically everyone; hence, questions become just as
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 111
important for us as patients to serve as educators for the physicians who we interact with. These are the questions that we pain doctors ask and introspect all across America when patients walk into our offices. The flow of knowledge and teaching is no longer considered to be unidirectional. It is important for pain patients to embrace their health, come to an understanding of themselves and their needs, and to be cognizant of what options are available to them. Whether simply pharmacological treatments, injections, minimally invasive surgery, or holistic medicine; successful pain caregivers are transitioning toward partnerships with their patients. Given the increasing consumer pressure for high-
112 | MY Magazine
quality healthcare, physicians sometimes overlook the basic tenets of medicine, where ultimately, they are healers and teachers. We cannot expect to deliver the best quality care without providing the time to listen, with an empathetic heart. For most patients, the message is simply that they should strive to learn and educate themselves and to engage as active participants in their pain care. They can easily learn about what the latest treatment options are. For example, novel therapies are emanating from the still nascent disciplines of nanotechnology and nanomedicine. Nanotechnology can be defined as the science of the very small, which involves the capacity to control matter at the atomic and
molecular levels, whereas nanomedicine may be defined as the application of nanotechnology to medicine. At these microscopic scales, typically at dimensions of from 1-100 nanometers (1 nanometer = 1 billionth of a meter), many materials have completely new and enhanced behaviors when compared to their macroscale counterparts. For instance, nanoparticles may more efficiently conduct electricity, heat, and cold, react to magnet fields differently, and sometimes have dramatically different chemical reactions, such as in catalysis. All of this translates to enhanced properties that may be of immense benefit to medicine. The potency of nanomedicine relates to its ultraprecision for the treatment of diseases, and for the purposes of this article, pain, down to the single neuron level. Nanomedicine functions, and has influence at the scale of individual cells and molecules, which is exactly where many diseases, as well as pain, originate. For example, nanoparticles, or what can be referred to as “nanocarriers”, can be loaded with very powerful pain medications and “decorated” with certain targeting molecules, which ensure the delivery of
these drugs directly to numb nerve cells, or shut down specific cells within the brain that convey the perception of pain. This means that the body will not be flooded with drugs or suffer their negative side effects, as is typically the case with chemotherapies. Therefore, far lower doses of a drug are required, while imparting a significantly greater pain-relieving effect. In the future, much more sophisticated autonomous nanomedical robots may have the capacity to directly intervene and block the signals within individual nerve fibers that transmit pain, which will translate to the negation of the requirement for pain medications altogether. These classes of nanotechnologybased nanomedical capabilities will give rise to a completely new paradigm in pain medicine and pain relief for the 21st century.
Dr. Krishnan Chakravarthy, MD, PhD is attending physician at the VA San Diego Health Care and UCSD Health System. He is an assistant clinical professor at UCSD Health, and affiliate faculty at UCSD School of NanoEngineering. Dr. Chakravarthy’s innovative contributions to the field of nanomedicine has been recognized at a national level with prestigious honors and awards. He continues to publish papers in leading scientific journals, is an author on numerous patents, and is a guest speaker at both national and international conferences. Dr. Chakravarthy currently serves on the editorial board of several national and international peer reviewed journals, and is also a founder of three biotechnology companies that include NanoAxis, NeuroStym, and Douleur Therapeutics. He is a consultant to Abbott neuromodulation division. He currently sees pain patients two days a week in San Diego and runs a basic science laboratory for three days a week. Dr. Chakravarthy completed his sub-specialty fellowship training in pain management at the Massachusetts General Hospital/Harvard Medical School, and residency training in anesthesiology at The Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, MD. He interned in general medicine at Griffin Hospital (Yale Affiliate) in Derby, Connecticut, and earned his M.D. and Ph.D. degrees at the Jacobs School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences in Buffalo, NY. His notable awards include being nominated for the American Society of Regional Anesthesiology and Pain Medicine Resident/Fellow of the Year Award, Griffin
Hospital (Yale Affiliated) Intern Physician of the Year Award Recipient, Buffalo Business First “Rising Star”, University at Buffalo Henry Panasci Technology Entrepreneurship Competition Award Winner, and recipient of the National Institute of Health Ruth L. Kirschstein National Research Service Award. Frank Boehm incorporated the startup, Nanoapps Medical Incorporated, and serves as its CEO. NanoApps Medical has the goal of developing advanced nanomedical diagnostic and therapeutic technologies for the benefit of individuals across both the developing and developed worlds. Further, the company is ambitiously aiming to transition terrestrial nanomedicine to space applications to facilitate future Lunar and Mars missions, such as those being boldly planned by NASA and SpaceX. Frank is the author of Nanomedical Device and Systems Design: Challenges, Possibilities, Visions published by CRC Press, and is currently working on two further books. Nanotechnology, Nanomedicine, and AI: Toward the Dream of Global Health Care Equivalency will explore and articulate an expanded vision for where advanced nanomedicine may lead, while Molecular Manufacturing: The Emergence of the Grand Equalizer will investigate the concepts and technologies behind the potential emergence of advanced Molecular Manufacturing (MM), while articulating how its potentially immense power may touch and positively transform practically every facet of human endeavor, while driving global scale environmental remediation.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 113
Holidays ENJOY THE by Annabel Cohen
D
ecember holidays are for celebrating. It’s the time of year when we get together in groups more than any other time of the year. And it’s a time to remember the year behind us and anticipate a wonderful new year. The most delicious way to celebrate is with delicious, special meals calling for food we might seldom eat throughout the year -- rich, luxurious and special. Here’s where I come in. The following recipes are exceptional. Be sure to add a spectacular salad to complete the meal. I’ve even included a recipe for potato latkes, the quintessential food of Chanukah. Eat them as appetizers or as a side dish to any of the foods below. If your final meal of the year is the time you choose to celebrate, break out the bubbly and countdown from “10” before the stroke of midnight. Be sure all champagne is properly chilled and the glasses are ready for the pour as we ring in the new year in style. Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit Jewish News, and in
114 | MY Magazine
2014 in HOUR Detroit magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.
Piquant Salmon with Honey Mustard Sauce Sauce: 1/4 cup honey 1/4 cup grainy Dijon mustard Juice of 1 lemon 3 Tbsp. water Salmon 6 salmon fillet portions (about 6-ounces each) Kosher salt and pepper to taste 1/4 cup mayonnaise 1/2 tsp. fresh minced garlic 1/8 tsp. ground cayenne pepper 1 Tbsp. chopped capers Make sauce: Combine honey, mustard and lemon juice in a small bowl and mix well. Set aside. Preheat oven to Broil. Spray a baking sheet well with nonstick cooking spray. Arrange the salmon fillets on the sheet and season with salt and pepper. Combine the mayonnaise, garlic, cayenne pepper and capers in a small bowl and stir well. Spread this mixture over the salmon fillets. Broil about 6-inches from the broiling element for 10 minutes (DO NOT OVERCOOK). Serve hot or warm with sauce on the side.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 115
Penne with Vodka Tomato Cream Sauce Sauce: 2 Tbsp. butter 1 cup chopped onions 1 cup vodka 1 cup tomato puree 3/4 cup heavy cream (not whipped) 1 tsp. hot red pepper sauce, such as Tabasco Salt and Pepper to taste 1 pound dry penne or other small shaped pasta Fresh chopped parsley, garnish Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, garnish Make the sauce: Heat butter in a medium saucepan over mediumhigh heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring frequently, until very soft. Add the vodka and tomato puree and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium and stir in the cream. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Keep warm. Bring a large of water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook according to package directions until just al dente. Drain the pasta well (do NOT rinse). Transfer to large bowl, toss with the sauce, sprinkle with parsley and serve, with grated Parmesan cheese on the side.
116 | MY Magazine
Latkes
Makes 8 servings 2 pounds Idaho or russet potatoes, peeled or not 1 cup chopped yellow onions 2 eggs 3 Tbsp. flour (more if needed) Kosher salt and pepper to taste Vegetable oil for frying Make latkes: Coarsely grate potatoes by hand (with a box grater) or in the food processor and let them sit until they turn reddish-brown about half an hour. Drain the potatoes in a colander and rinse well with cold water until the potatoes are white again. If the strands of potato are too long (as sometimes happens with a food processor), chop them slightly.
In a large skillet, heat 1/8-inch of oil until very hot but not smoking. Make a test pancake by dropping a heaping tablespoon of the potato mixture into the skillet. Using a spoon or spatula, form the mixture into a circle shape. Don’t worry if your pancake is not a perfect circle. Cook 3 minutes or so on each side until the pancakes are golden and cooked through. NOTE: As latke batter sits, it becomes more “watery.� Stir each time before you use the batter. Drain the latke well on paper towels or on flattened, paper grocery bags placed over baking sheets. Taste for seasoning, adjust salt and pepper and make the latkes until the potato mixture is gone. If you must add more oil, do it when the skillet is empty, never pour new oil onto cooking latkes, it makes them greasy. Serve with lots of applesauce or sour cream.
In a large bowl, combine the potatoes, onions, eggs, flour, salt, and pepper. Mix and let stand for 10 minutes before frying. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 117
Roast Beef Tenderloin Makes 8 or more servings. Seasoning: 1 tbsp. Fresh ground black pepper 2 Tbsp. kosher salt (do not use regular salt) 1 Tbsp. granulated garlic 1 tsp. dried rosemary ½ tsp. Cayenne pepper Beef: 4-5 lbs. beef tenderloin roast (trimmed weight after all fat and silver skin removed) Olive oil Soy/Butter Sauce: ½ cup soy sauce ½ cup butter Preheat oven to 475ºF. Line a rimmed baking sheet with foil. Combine seasoning in a small bowl and stir well with a fork. Rub beef tenderloin all over with oil and rub with seasoning mix. Arrange on the baking sheet and tuck the thinner end (tail) under the roast. Cook for 20 minutes (or until a meat thermometer inserted into the thickest part of the roast reaches 140ºF.). Remove from oven to rest. Let rest for about 10-15 minutes. Make Soy/Butter sauce: While the beef is resting, combine butter and soy sauce in a microwave-safe bowl. Cover with plastic wrap and microwave on high for 1 ½ minutes. Stir well before serving. Slice the beef and serve warm, with sauce spooned over.
118 | MY Magazine
Chocolate Fondue
Makes about 6-8 servings. This simple microwave recipe calls for semisweet chocolate, but you may substitute milk chocolate if you prefer. 1 1/2 cups semisweet or bittersweet chocolate pieces or chips 1/2 cup heavy cream 4 Tbsp. (½ stick) butter, cut into pieces and at room temperature 3 Tbsp. liqueur, any flavor, optional (or more to taste) Combine the chocolate and cream in microwave-safe bowl and microwave on high temperature, uncovered, for 2 minutes. Remove from oven, add butter and stir with a spoon until smooth. Stir in the liqueur, if using, at this point. Transfer the mixture to a fondue pot (follow manufacturer’s instructions). If you don’t have a fondue pot, spoon the mixture into a serving bowl and serve immediately (if the chocolate hardens in a regular bowl, microwave again for 30 seconds and stir). Serve with cubed pound cake, fruit, whole strawberries, cookies, biscotti, etc.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 119
YOUR HOLIDAY SURVIVAL GUIDE
120 | MY Magazine
by Liz Bull
N
o question, the holidays are here! If you believe WalMart, Christmas starts in September... but I digress. Eating healthy is a challenge for many of us... especially so during the holiday season. Stress can lead to overeating and overdrinking. If you dread the holidays, rethink them. They should not put you into debt, make you feel anxious or force you to do things out of obligation. It is totally OK (and your right!) to say NO to activities and “extras” that are stressful. The world WILL keep turning even if you don’t go to that party...or have a tree that Martha Stewart would envy...or make handmade gifts for everyone in the neighborhood...or participate in 25 cookie-exchanges....or do your gift list from Oprah’s list of Favorite Things...or decorate your house as if it were going to be on HGTV. No one will die. Trust me. Here are 8 tips to help you enjoy the holidays without the prospect of New Year’s remorse.
1
Plan your meals to include the special holiday items, but first, analyze them. Do you really enjoy them? Or is it just tradition? Could you adapt the recipe? Take those sweet potato dishes with the gooey
marshmallows on top, for example. Personally, I prefer mashed sweet potatoes with smoked paprika sprinkled on top. You could try having only one kind of stuffing instead of three. If Christmas just isn’t Christmas without Aunt Mollie’s Super Fluffy Coconut Dream Cake, by all means, enjoy the treat... especially if she only makes it for Christmas. On the other hand, she might be tired of making it and thrilled to make something else...like sweet potato pie...or something with fruit.
2
Avoid drinking your calories. Remember that the buzz can also lead to poor eating choices. A glass of wine - 80-150 calories; beer - 140200 calories; shots - 150-200 calories; mixed drinks... oohla-la.. 300 - 800 calories.... and eggnog 440-540 calories.
3
Bring a healthy dish to parties. That way, you KNOW that there will be something you can eat without derailing. And, you will be amazed at how popular healthier options are. If bringing something is not appropriate, consider eating before the party. Then you can spend the party socializing instead of balancing your drink and plate.
4
Learn the art of the gentle decline. It’s inevitable. You will be encouraged to
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 121
like sledding, skating, snowball battles... or walking the neighborhood enjoying holiday lights. Watch holiday movies. Play board games. Take the focus off the food.
8
eat things that are not on your eating plan, to eat more than you want, to eat things you just don’t like under any circumstances. Here are some handy phrases: “ Oh, thank you. Those look so good...and I’m saving room for some (fill in the blank).” or “Thanks so much. I am just stuffed! May I take some to-go?” or “Thanks. I just can’t eat another bit right now.... perhaps later.” or “Thanks for offering. I don’t want to hurt your feelings. Truthfully, I’ve never cared for (fill in the blank) and they don’t seem to like me much either.” Remember, it is NOT your job or obligation to make anyone happy at your expense.
5
Have a plan for leftovers! For many of us, just being around food makes us run the risk of overeating. It is best to deal with leftovers right away.
122 | MY Magazine
Wrap them up and freeze them for use in future meals ( like ham cubes for quiche or soup). Make up to-go boxes for your guests. Dollar stores have those boxes; keep them on hand. If Aunt Mollie’s Super Fluffy Coconut Dream Cake is your undoing, be sure to use this strategy. Ditto for any other food that “calls” to you.
6
Help spread the holiday cheer. Have a plan for those huge cookie-platters and gift boxes of candy that guests will bring. Re-gift gift baskets, cookies and candies. Check with your local senior center, homeless shelter, food bank. Holiday treats may not be within their budget.
7
Make some new traditions! Consider that holidays are about reconnecting with people you love. Meet family/ friends for something active...
And finally, I believe that special treats are for special days. Plum Pudding is for Christmas, right? Latkes are for Hannukah, right? So keep them special. And, remember that a holiday is a holy-DAY, not a holy-MONTH.
With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mindset work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.co
Making a Difference CALLING ALL • New Entrepreneurs • Foundations, Organizations • Existing Publishers Our Mission is to create awareness by designing a customized magazine for local communities, organizations, or foundations through our publishing efforts. By highlighting true-to-life stories and articles that touch the hearts and minds of so many, we educate, empower and inspire readers. making your publication a must have in any community, organization or foundation.
To find out how you can work with our team of professionals to create a customized magazine that fits your needs, contact Maria Rea at maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com
Enjoy the Journey