MY
FEBRUARY 2018
Authentic Life
magazine
THE Healing POWER OF Love THE SECRET THAT Peaceful PEOPLE Know
Angelic
LOVE
Beth Greer
SUPER NATURAL MOM
®
Enjoy the Journey
LOV Every
VE IS ywhere
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MY
Authentic Life
magazine
MY Authentic Life magazine is a monthly publication that encourages others to live their best life. MY Media and Publishing Group makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we do not make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of MY Media and Publishing Group. For inquiries e-mail maria.mymediagroup@gmail.com. 8 | MY Magazine
contributing writers
Kathryn Andries Patrick Andries The Dream Experts
Liz Bull
Sharon Carne
Amanda Butler Slade
Wini Curley
Kerri Hummingbird
Kate Sholonski
Tamara Green
Judy Lipson
Mella Barnes
Dr. Nekeshia Hammond
Lisa Marie Platske
Janette Stuart
Annabell Cohen
Corey Poirier
Gary Stuart myauthenticlifemagazine.com 9
Blind Faith That only in our blind belief we can ever find the truth, and that hatred has no place in a world where dreams are ever present. It’s the evening of Jan 30th, 2018. The state of the union is over and the party’s remain divided. With both party’s polarized and overwhelmed with emotion, I watch with sadness, as the state of our union and it’s parties remains separate. Half the room stands in excitement while the other half sits in protest as the President of the United States speaks. When it is over, I watch in disbelieve as the news stations recap with conflicting views. It is clear that both parties’ are exhausted from the negative rhetoric and judgment that surrounds our great nation.
from the publisher
Finding a spiritual solution in the midst of such conflict can be a challenging feat. I found myself taking an honest look at where I’m at being so deeply disturbed at what I was witnessing. I ask myself, is it possible to offer guidance in the mist of such separation? My answer, yes, yes it is.
The beauty of living as humans is that we have total freedom over our thoughts, our feelings, and our judgments, it is our choice, but with freedom comes great responsibility. We must all look at our actions, how we judge, what we say and get really honest about how we’ve judged the president, his team, each political party and while we’re at, our family, our friends and ourselves. It isn’t until we take complete responsibility for our own actions that we will be able to heal the cracks that divide us. The first step to healing our feelings of separateness, as Gabrielle Bernstein wrote in her book, Judgment Detox, is to witness our judgment without judgment. She goes on to explain that to truly heal our feelings of judgment, we must begin by healing our minds. If we want to free ourselves from this nasty judgment cycle, we must shine a light in the darkness. The way to do this is to witness our judgmental thoughts and release them. By simply witnessing our judgment we are able to feel healing powers. I would agree. When we release our judgment, we allow love in. By doing so, we realize that all judgment really is, is the absence of love and the growing tension of fear. Let love guide us, and let go of the anger. In the midst of growing tensions, my silent prayer remains that we will come together and unite as one, that all hearts will heal and love will always win. Here’s to living your best life.
Maria Rea – Publisher maria.mymediagroup.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com
“In a world full of fear, be courageous. In a world full of lies, be honest. In a world where few care, be compassionate. In a world full of phonies, be yourself. Because the world sees you. The world hopes for you. The world is inspired by you. The world can be better because of you.”
—Doe Zantamata
10 | MY Magazine
RELEASE THE BELIEFS THAT HOLD YOU BACK FROM LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE Have Maria speak at your next event!
Maria speaks with 100% transparency and accepts that her suffering tells a story and that her truth heals. No matter how spiritual, kind, or compassionate a person many be, we all are a result of our past fears and judgments.
Love For Self, Love For others, Love for life!
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IN THIS ISSUE february 2018
feature
page 16
Beth Greer Super Natural MomÂŽ photographs for cover and cover story by Theresa Vargo
14 | MY Magazine
E
24
How to Show Your Pet Love on Valentine’s Day
26
The Healing Power of Love
30
34
36 42
46
Neuro-sensitives and Sensory Overload Be Bold, Be Daring, Be Audacious Love, My Love, Precious Love Talk to Tamara The Relationship Whisperer The Magic Pill Claim Your Power
50
54 58 62
64 70 74 80 82
Finding Delight in the Midst of Sadness Pass it On Be Your Best The Dream Experts What Does Your Dream Mean There’s No “H” or “D” in Soul
The Secret that Peaceful People Know
Angelic Love Cherish Who You Are Let’s Party myauthenticlifemagazine.com 15
Photographs by Theresa Vargo 16 | MY Magazine
THE SUPER NATURAL ® MOM “I don’t think people realize how important it is to eat pure, organic, life-enhancing food… it’s really the key to good health.”
–Beth Greer
by Maria Rea
W
e assume we are living a healthy lifestyle; we eat right, buy popular household products, exercise and spend time outside when we can, but are we really?
Beth Greer
Recently I had the pleasure of speaking with the awardwinning journalist, green holistic health educator, healthy home expert and impassioned champion of toxin-free living, Beth Greer, aka Super Natural Mom®. When we spoke, I
learned she is also a Huffington Post columnist, radio talk show host, bestselling author and trusted consumer advocate, who is leading a movement of awareness and responsibility about healthy home, school, and work environments. Formerly President of The Learning Annex, a nationally renowned private alternative adult education company, Beth has empowered thousands to discover new possibilities and make changes in their lives. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 17
As President of the Learning Annex, an adult education company hosting speakers such as Deepak Chopra, Tony Robins, Marianne Williamson, Barbara De Angelis and John Gray, to name a few, all in the personal growth industry, Beth had no reason to believe at this time that she was not living the healthy lifestyle she desired. After all, she was learning how to live a more connected, heartcentered, conscious life and learning from the best. But one day Beth began to have excruciating pain in her shoulder so she sought chiropractic help for relief. After a couple of sessions without getting relief, her doctor thought it might be a herniated disk and suggested she get an MRI. In compliance, Beth received the shocking news that she had a huge mass (tumor) in her chest the size of a tennis ball pressing on the nerves that ran down her arm. Needing a biopsy, she was diagnosed with a benign schwannoma tumor.
Beth wasn’t always this conscious leader. Growing up in the era where the “Leave it to Beaver” housewife began to diminish in the rearview mirror, Beth was no stranger to processed foods like Swanson’s TV Dinners and Velveeta cheese.
18 | MY Magazine
As she graduated from high school and went on to college, her interest in a healthy lifestyle emerged. Beth became more aware of what it took to live this type of lifestyle but had much to learn. It turns out that exercising and eating right is not enough.
Trying to come to terms with this diagnosis, Beth was then told that the only way to get rid of this tumor was to have surgery, with a caveat, that if it wasn’t removed quickly, it was almost certain that it would turn to cancer in a very short time. “This was a very scary time for me. Not only did I get this diagnosis, but had 3 different doctors tell me I needed surgery. The first surgeon wanted to cut me under my collarbone, the second surgeon wanted to cut
me under my armpit, and the third surgeon wanted to remove one of my ribs, accessing the tumor through my back. That’s when I thought, the three of them can’t even agree on how to do this, so I went to see a neurosurgeon who told me how risky the surgery really was. He explained that the tumor was encased in nerves, and if anyone severed those nerves, I would lose all feeling in my right hand, permanently. Well, that gave me pause. I needed time to step back and think.” Coincidentally, Beth had made prior reservations a month earlier at the Optimal Health Institute in San Diego for some rest and relaxation, which now, seemed like a divine intervention. Upon arriving at the institute, she began an internal cleanse of raw vegetable juices and wheat-grass plus colonics, along with a spiritual cleanse to shift her energy. Within three days of these changes, Beth noticed the pain subsiding. “I thought to myself; I’m on to something here! Returning after a week, I said to my husband, I’d like to continue this way of eating, I think it’s helping me. So we began to eat raw and vegan for the next six months. I had also learned at the health institute that whatever was happening to my body had a message it was trying to tell me. So I would quiet my mind and listen to my inner voice to see what it was trying to say. What I heard was to ‘simplify’.
I remember thinking; I’m eating right. I mean sure, I was going out to eat quite a bit, not really knowing how my food is being prepared, and I do use a microwave to heat things up. Okay, maybe I wasn’t really paying attention to the finer points such as, what kind of oils I was using to cook with and the best way to purify my drinking water, and I certainly wasn’t eating that many live foods.” She then began to look at other products she was using on her skin, such as her lotion, deodorant, and makeup. She also looked at the products she cleaned her home with. Reviewing the ingredients, Beth realized, not only was she unaware of what the ingredients were, she couldn’t even pronounce them.
take a look at her tumor. You can imagine her surprise when the tumor was completely gone. “That set me on a crusade to let others know about my story. My message to the world was, don’t wait to get sick before you make changes to your life. Pay attention to what you are putting in you, on you, and what surrounds you.” After Beth’s medical crisis, which prompted her to re-evaluate her life, she wrote a book to sound the alarm to others. In her bestselling book, “Super Natural Home; Improve Your Health, Home, and Planet – One Room at a Time,” endorsed by Deepak Chopra, Ralph Nader, Dr. Mercola and others, she shows how everyday items like food, beauty products,
“Being that my background is in journalism, I began to do research. What I found was that the numerous chemicals in these products had deleterious effects on our health, so I decided then, to switch to all natural products.” Within six months of simplifying her life, Beth’s pain was completely gone. So she made another appointment with her doctor to have another scan to
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 19
delivery room, they cut the cord and held their new baby close. Little did they know that the lessons they were about to learn, would create a whole new mission in Beth’s life.
household cleaners, bedding, and electronic equipment are making us sick. She exposes the alarming extent of the dangerous chemicals we unwittingly expose ourselves to every day. Beth wants others to know that by making different choices, it is possible to ‘live clean’ in a toxic world. “I dedicated my book to my grandmother who lived a very natural life. She cooked from scratch and cleaned with all natural products. She was a true inspiration!” To find out more about, “Super Natural Home: Improve Your Health, Home, and Planet— One Room at a Time” visit: supernaturalmom.com/book/
BEAUTIFUL YET CHALLENGING MOMENTS TEACH US Unable to conceive, Beth and her husband adopted a beautiful baby girl. In the
20 | MY Magazine
They raised their baby in what Beth thought was an ideal environment: feeding her organic food and pure water, sending her to the best schools and blessing her with a conscious education. Thinking for years that she was doing everything right, Beth was shocked to discover that at age 15, her beautiful daughter was cutting herself, and was in chat rooms talking about suicide. Absolutely devastated, Beth took her to a psychiatrist where they immediately wanted to put her on pharmaceutical drugs. Feeling that this was a bandage solution, Beth found other ways to manage her daughter’s anxiety, including acupuncture, Feldenkrais bodywork, and working with a mentor/psychologist. Although this helped in the short term, it was only a few years later she became addicted to alcohol and marijuana. “A friend of mine had told me of Dr. Albert Mensah, near Chicago who had helped her with some psychological issues and recommended that I contact him for help. I did order a brain biochemistry test kit but never used it until my daughter began to express rage. One day, out of anger, she kicked the kitchen cabinet door in and I had had enough. I made her give me a urine sample and
took her to the lab to get her blood work done. I hadn’t even gotten the results back, when my daughter, a couple of days later, came home drunk with alcohol poisoning and had to be admitted to the ER. Within a short period of time, we sent her to a Wilderness therapy program in Utah. While she was there the test results came back and I had a phone consult with Dr. Mensah who told me he didn’t believe she was addicted but was self-medicating. He explained that she had a very low-stress tolerance and very high anxiety. That described my daughter to a “T”. He then went on to say that genetically she was not processing certain “B” vitamins and she had a couple of conditions that were genetically passed down, so he prescribed some supplements he thought would help. Being in Wilderness therapy ensured she would take them twice a day and she did really well. Taking targeted supplements over prescription medication in combination with the correct therapy is what I know helped my daughter to be the responsible healthy young adult she is today.” What that experience sparked in Beth was the realization that she was not alone, and that there are many parents that are in crisis, often times left with no option, but to give prescription medication as their ‘go to’ treatment. “So I started a podcast called “Kids in Crisis” where I interview leading Integrative and
Functional Medicine physicians, holistic health practitioners, researchers, and addiction specialists who share their expertise and innovative, nondrug approaches to successfully treating kids with mood and behavioral issues. I do this to show parents that there are safe alternatives. Sometimes it’s as little as changing your child’s routine and getting them off their screens for example. I interviewed Victoria Dunckley, a well-known Psychiatrist, and Author of “Reset Your Child’s Brain,” who puts kids on a 4-week screen fast which has been proven to help reverse behavioral problems like ADHD and even bipolar disorder in her clients. Kids spend an enormous amount of time in front of the screens of their phones and laptops, which is having a negative impact. So changing the habits of children can be life-saving. Anything from avoiding certain foods like dairy and gluten, to learning meditation to calm their minds, and encouraging them to exercise, helps.” Healthy Home, Healthy You Beth offers a healthy home video course which helps to restore your health, your energy and improve your mood and productivity. She helps you create a non-toxic, chemical free, safe haven for you and your family. “Creating a Healthy Home Webinar” is a step-by-step, four-part home-study course where Beth shows you through
video how to quickly spot and eliminate the toxins lurking in your food, personal care, and household products, by making simple, cost-effective changes in an organized, easy way. In addition to the 4 one-hour videos, which you can work through at your leisure, Beth: • Answer questions • Gives you Resource Handouts and Checklists of Simple Solutions • Provides opportunities to work with her to answer your questions and find solutions that work You can even have Beth go room-by-room (virtually) through your home or office to identify your exposure to potential toxins that can be affecting your health, mood, and sleep and learn the simple changes you can make to eliminate them. Sometimes it’s as easy as moving your bed!
as we all do, it’s important to be in tune with nature as much as possible. By that I mean, eating organic whole fresh foods bursting with color, and using clean, natural products on your skin and in your home. Another secret is getting out in the sunlight before 10 am without sunglasses to let the light shine in your eyes to reset your melatonin levels. Try to be out in nature one hour every day. Take your lunch and go for a walk to connect. Pay attention to what goes into and on your body, and what and who you are surrounding yourself with. Don’t wait until you get sick to make these small changes… do it now to enhance your life!” To learn more about or to contact Beth please visit…. supernaturalmom.com
supernaturalmom. com/creatinghealthy-homecourse-landing/
BETH’S ADVICE FOR LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE “If you want more vitality, and energy,
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Loving MY
Authentic Life
on Valentine’s Day HOW TO SHOW YOUR PET LOVE
by Mella Barnes
24 | MY Magazine
I’ve always been indifferent about Valentine’s Day. When I’m single, I don’t have much of a reason to celebrate. When I’m not single, I tend to attract people who are against the “commercialization” of Valentine’s Day, and since I don’t really care, I go along with what they want. Whether or not I’ve been in a relationship, for the last 12 years I’ve had two dogs in my life who were by my side always. They don’t know what Valentine’s Day is, but every day they give me more love than I’ve ever felt from a human. If you’re in the same boat, here are some ideas to show your pets some love on V-Day:
1
DO THEIR FAVORITE THING ALL DAY Or at least until they get tired. How many times have we ended a walk early or took the ball away? My dogs LOVE walks, even when it’s 15 degrees outside. I usually let them walk long enough to pee and that’s it. Today, I’m going to stick it out and let them have their walk (although they could easily freeze to death because they’re not paying attention to how they feel, so I’ll have to call it quits for their own safety at some point).
2
TREATS AND TOYS I mean, duh, right? At 12 years old, my dogs are on a strict diet and can’t have a lot of treats. However, they love (I mean LOVE) shredding paper towels. It’s their favorite thing, so I’m going to get a roll just for them and let them go nuts. This is an easy one if you don’t have an interactive animal, like a fish
or hamster. Try a new treat or toy they might like today!
3
LESS STRESS Animals seem to get stressed out a LOT. Things we think are normal (the vacuum, TV, phone) can stress animals out. If your pet hates the vacuum, maybe skip it today. I also highly recommend a product called Pet Calm by Richard’s Organics, but there are a lot of great similar products out there. If your pet is high strung, this is a great, all-natural supplement to help them relax. My rabbit absolutely hates when the dogs get fed before her (she’s a diva) so I’ll feed her first to avoid stressing her out.
4
KEEP THEM HEALTHY It’s easy to push off going to the vet. Animals are great at acting like they’re fine, but if your pet has been licking a certain spot for a while, or they’re walking funny, or whatever weird new quirk you notice, make an appointment to get them checked out. You don’t have to take them on Valentine’s Day (that would be a direct violation of idea #3) but set an appointment for later. Even if your pet seems totally fine, if they haven’t seen a vet in a while, it might be a good idea to take them in. If you have an exotic pet and haven’t taken them in anywhere, now would be a great time to search for an exotic vet in your area!
5
TRY MUSIC JUST FOR THEM Did you know there are songs made just for cats or
dogs? Try playing it for your pet and see if they like it! I doubt there are songs for reptiles or small pets, but there should be, don’t you think? If you’re creative, try writing a song about your own pet. If not, find some nice meditation music and see how your pet responds. Most animals can sense music in some way or another, so it will be an interesting test to see what they like! If you’re not sure animals can connect with music, search for dogs singing on YouTube. Yes, it’s a thing, and yes, you’ll love it.
6
HAVE A ROMANTIC DINNER This sounds really dumb, I know, and it’s totally something only you would care about and not your pet. However, how adorable would it be to light tiny candles and have a dinner with your Guinea Pig? If you end up doing this, film it and post it on YouTube so I can watch. Pets give us so much love. I hope you’ll take time to show yours some love for Valentine’s Day! If you don’t have a pet, please consider donating or volunteering at a shelter. They need love more than pets who have homes, and they would love to meet you! Mella is a session singer, songwriter and producer living in Nashville, Tennessee. Also an animal lover, she has three dogs, a rabbit, and any number of foster animals in various shapes and sizes. She is the author of Way Less Cowbell, a book on communicating with session musicians. If you would like more information or to hire her onto your project, please visit www.mellamusic.com
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Power Love THE HEALING OF
by Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D.
26 | MY Magazine
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 27
I
t’s in songs, and it’s written in several books and movies - the healing power of love. It’s not just a great Hollywood plotline, however. Many people believe that there actually is power in love that can heal a person mentally, emotionally, and physically. Some would say love can heal someone spiritually too. Is it all hogwash though, or is there something to the theory that love can heal your life? HEALING MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY WITH LOVE A person who is feeling love is considered healthier mentally and emotionally than someone 28 | MY Magazine
who doesn’t have love in their lives. Why is this the case? From a chemical standpoint, when someone has feelings of love, they have an increased or at least balanced level of endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin in their brains. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that assists with controlling pleasure and reward. Oxytocin is often called the love hormone because it’s what is generally attributed to causing a person to “feel good” and feel like they’re in love. Endorphins are also neurotransmitters that can give you a feeling of euphoria. Think about how good you feel
when doing something you love to do. For example, some people love singing or cooking. When they engage in these activities they feel their stress levels lower, and their energy and happiness go up. The same thing happens when they are around people or things that they love - their overall mental and emotional health improves. When you feel love, you’ll be more motivated, and feel an increased amount of pleasure and happiness in your life. You’re also less likely to be sad or depressed and will have a better sense of general well-being.
HUGS - A DOSE OF INSTANT LOVE One of the best ways to enjoy a boost to your mental and emotional health is to give or receive a hug. When we feel a physical touch like a hug, our oxytocin and dopamine levels are instantly increased. From this, we feel attachment, trust, and connection. This is why it’s so important that we hug our children. By hugging them we are sharing not only that we love them, but are also helping them to feel that we have a bond with them. HEALING PHYSICALLY WITH LOVE Going beyond the mind and heart, love can also heal you physically. When you feel love in your life, you’re more likely to have a better immune system. People with love in their lives have been known to take better care of themselves as well. They eat healthier foods, are less likely to smoke, consume more water, drink less alcohol, get better restful sleep, and exercise more frequently. As a result of all of this, their bodies are physically healthier overall. Physician Dr. Kim D’Eramo is the author of the book The Mind/ Body Toolkit. Starting in medical school she began experiencing headaches, joint pain, and other physical ailments. Ultimately she was diagnosed with a rare form of an autoimmune disease, told she had severe allergies, and that she would need medications for the rest of her life.
Rather than accept this, she opened herself to the idea that she could heal her own body with love and good energy. She claims that within 10 days of changing her life, her body was healed. Today, she teaches her MindBody Medicine technique to help her patients end their fatigue, and heal their pain, anxiety and autoimmune illnesses. Dr. D’Eramo says “love is an energy that has vibration and affects every cell in your body,” and when you understand this “it becomes easy to understand that love can have a healing effect on your cells.” She also says that feeling love “has been shown to immediately increase hormones like oxytocin, endorphins, and antioxidants. This assists cellular repair improves delivery of oxygen and nutrients to tissues, and helps toxic waste get dumped out of the body.” While it would be unethical to claim that love alone can heal all medical ailments, it is at least reasonable to conclude that love can aid in healing the physical body.
place you should look is within yourself. Famed motivational author Louise Hay said one great way to fall in love with yourself is through her mirror work. The idea is simple - look into a mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself over and over again, every single day. This isn’t about vanity, it’s about falling in love with you so that you can truly and deeply love other people and things. Loving yourself gives you acceptance of who you are, and instills confidence to tackle what may come your way. Other places to find love include your family and friends, your co-workers, your pets, even just falling in love with your own life and circumstances. Jackie DeShannon wrote in her 1965 song, “What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone.” These words still ring true, and I hope you discover your own healing powers of love starting today.
What can you do if you need healing from love, but you’re not currently in a relationship? You might think if you’re not married, dating or “in love” you don’t have access to the healing powers of love. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Nekeshia Hammond, Psy.D. is a psychologist, speaker, an author, and the owner of Hammond Psychology & Associates. Dr. Hammond has been featured on WFLA News Channel 8, Tampa Bay Times, Essence, Tampa Bay Parenting, CBS Boston, Ebony and other media outlets sharing her expertise on children and parenting. She is the TV show host of “Parenting Explained with Dr. Hammond” which is set to air on stations throughout the US in early 2018. To learn more about Dr. Hammond, visit: DrNekeshiaHammond.com.
You can find love in the most unexpected places, and the first
Twitter: @Dr_Hammond FB: Dr. Nekeshia Hammond Instagram: @practicalparenting
WHERE TO FIND LOVE
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NEURO-SENSITIVES AND SENSORY OVERLOAD Recent statistics indicate that 1 in 68 children are on the autism spectrum; however autistics are not the only ones who experience sensory overload. by Judith E. Lipson, M.A., LPC
I
t is very likely that you know someone professionally, in your social group, or in your family who is neuro-sensitive. Sensitives can be autistic or neuro-typical (without autism). 30 | MY Magazine
Over the years in my practice, I have seen many children and adults who are neuro-sensitive. As their prevalence increases so do their sensory awareness and responsiveness.
There is much speculation as to why there are more individuals who experience the world in this way. It could be evolutionary, neurological or the additives, drugs, and pesticides in our
food network. Regardless of the cause, with the increasing number of individuals affected, there is a responsibility to learn how to best support Sensitives. There are a number of
traditional approaches provided by occupational therapists, behaviorists, and speech and language therapists. There are also less-conventional approaches. I wrote about these
in “Setting Boundaries” and “Energy Cleansing”. You are encouraged to increase your awareness of the many situations that can create myauthenticlifemagazine.com 31
difficulties for the neurosensitives in your life so that you can support that individual or help to bring about systems change. SCHOOLS Kids spend the majority of their day in these environments for twelve or more years. We can reduce their sensory impact and ease their experiences. LIGHT SENSITIVITY Fluorescent lighting creates visual and auditory challenges. Highly sensitive individuals are bothered by the pulsations that fluorescents emit, as well as the sound from light ballasts. Light sensitivity can also affect reading: ease, accuracy, memory, concentration, and comprehension. Using natural or incandescent lighting in schools and at home can increase your child’s relaxation, reading skills,
and even their willingness to do homework.
RECESS AND PHYSICAL EDUCATION Weak muscle tone and poor coordination increase the likelihood that sports and team activities may not be a positive experience. Loud echoing sounds, close proximity and lack of structure add additional difficulties. Encourage involvement in individual sports like swimming, bowling, tennis, golf, track, cross-country, and martial arts.
the speaker? These are rarely congruent. To assist, provide explicit instructions for nearly every social scenario. It’s not uncommon for them to fail to generalize one situation to another. For assistance, do an internet or book search for “social stories”.
MEDICAL
SOCIAL
To avoid triggering an exaggerated startle response, explain the action and its purpose before physical contact, or when approaching with a medical instrument. Also, anatomical pictures trigger some Sensitives.
Educator Richard LaVoie explains that everything in school, and life, is a social decision. Social situations are typically not easy for Sensitives: should they attend to the words, the tone, the body language, or the energy of
Doctor Offices: Try to arrive on time, ask to be brought into an exam room quickly, and to be seen promptly to avoid anxious waits, an overly stimulating waiting area, and possible meltdowns. Hospitals: Imagine this scenario: A medical concern; agitation; bright fluorescent lighting; naked under the irritating fabric of an uncomfortable gown; sounds; communication challenges; lack of medical knowledge; presumed loss of rights; fear of stimming (self-soothing) in public; lack of privacy for solitude or toileting. Neurosensitives will require a great deal of support in these environments.
ENTERTAINMENT Encourage social activities. Movies, bowling and even cruises are now offering autism/ sensory-friendly options.
32 | MY Magazine
Movies/Theater: Loud volume, darkness, and the expectations for silence and for sitting still for periods of time can seem impossible - and are likely to lead to meltdowns or “inappropriate behaviors”. Restaurants: With planning and instruction, the potential difficulties of too many menu options, the inability to sit still, and conversation challenges with wait staff can be made successful. Malls and Large Venues: Large expanses of space can make a neuro-sensitive unaware of their body and lose their sense of self. The emotions and energy of other people, bright lighting, fragrances, and temperature changes outside the different stores are physically uncomfortable and overwhelming to their senses.
Emotions: Even exuberance and joy can over-stimulate their system. Neuro-sensitives have a highly aroused nervous system and lack the ability to process the information from their bodies and their environment without triggering an over-reactive fight-or-flight response. It is imperative to remember that any subsequent behavioral outbursts are a reaction to their sensory system overload. These meltdowns are not the equivalent of tantrums. Benjamin Franklin said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Teaching neuro-sensitives a variety of coping skills and encouraging them to use these strategies is extremely beneficial. When possible take the initiative to modify their surroundings by
assessing the potential impact of the five senses, energy awareness, and empathy, as well as expectations for social interaction and communication. Doing so for your neurosensitives will ease the situation and minimize or avoid meltdowns or discomfort. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information.
This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
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BE BOLD, BE DARING,
BE AUDACIOUS by Corey Poirier
“You’re a bold little one, aren’t you?” When I was younger, those were the words your parents never wanted to hear said to, our about, their child.
I now see “being bold” as something altogether different. To me, it now means being daring, or audacious; something I would hardly view as an insult or negative comment.
At the time it meant that you tended to misbehave.
Based on this new definition, I am quite okay with being bold.
Throughout the years, the word bold has taking on new meaning to me.
Here’s why.
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A number of years ago I asked a mentor of mine how I could achieve more success and perhaps even a bit of greatness in my time. His response was quite telling. “You’ll never be all you can be until you’re willing to step outside your comfort zone,” he replied. At the time, I was terrified of speaking in public, terrified of rejection, I listened to every naysayer that I came in contact with, and I certainly wasn’t willing to try anything that was beyond my comfort zone. Then, in 2002, I was introduced to the world of stand-up comedy. I arrived at a club after two weeks of workshop training, preparing to study the comics that would take the stage that evening. Much to our surprise, WE (the comedians who were at the workshop and then the club that evening) were the scheduled performers something our instructor never told us. Turns out this was his way of ensuring that we showed up for the show. Seven of the fifteen would-be comics left immediately. As I didn’t realize leaving was an option (I was in the bathroom coming to grips with the whole thing while the seven would-be comics disappeared out the side door), I found myself performing comedy on that very stage, that very night. I was terrified, covered in sweat, and shaking visibly throughout the entire performance,
but when all was said and done, I had proven something to myself that night. I had proved that I could be bold, I could be daring, I could be audacious - if I just set my mind to it. From that performance in 2002 until now, I have taken to the stage more than 700 times to perform comedy, I have surfed the world-class shores of Tofino, British Columbia despite being unable to swim and having a major fear of water, I have jumped out of a plane despite a fear of heights, I have spoken at conventions across North America, and I somehow managed to reach, and interview, thousands of leaders during that same timeline. Now, I’m not trying to impress you with any success or achievement I may have been fortunate enough to have because I’m certainly not trying to claim to be more talented or skilled than anyone else. I’m simply trying to impress upon you what is possible when you’re willing to be bold, daring, and audacious. I’m further sharing that I doubt I would have had anywhere near the same success had I not dared to be bold that night in 2002. I’ve since learned by interviewing successful leaders from all walks of life that most of them too realized their greatest success once they decided to become a little more bold, little more daring, and a little more audacious. The take-away? Success comes at the times when you’re willing to be Bold, Daring, and Audacious. When are you ready to start?
Corey Poirier is an award-winning Keynote speaker, multiple-time TEDx, PMx and MoMonday’s Speaker. He is also the host of the top rated ‘Conversations with PASSION’ Radio Show and a newer top rated speaking related podcast, founder of The Speaking Program, he has been featured in one-hour television specials on Eastlink TV and TeleTelevision and he is a columnist with Entrepreneur Magazine, Progress Magazine. He has also appeared / or been featured in Global TV, CBS, CTV, NBC, ABC, CBC TV, Second City, and is one of the few leaders featured twice on the popular Entrepreneur on Fire show. Corey has interviewed over 4,000 of the world’s top leaders in search of success traits. One of his most recent talks took him to New York City where he had the extreme pleasure of speaking to At-Risk Youth at the Brooklyn Navy Yard Boys & Girls Club. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 35
LOVE, MY LOVE, PRECIOUS LOVE WHERE FOR ART THOU? by Gary Stuart
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any of you have heard the famous quote, “all you need is love”. This is true on many levels but having patience when it comes to love is just as important. Now that the New Year is behind us, many of us look forward to St. Valentine’s Day, which reminds us of love, and relationships that we appreciate in our lives. For many, it can be very lonely because they do not have that love relationship that they so desperately seek. This can make February be a very painful reminder of having no one special to share the day or the month of love with. The last thing someone wants is feeling loneliness or pain that you’re not in a relationship. Lest we forget some people can have suffering and pain and be in a relationship as well. Many people’s heart aches either way. Love has a way of being the most prickly or sensitive feeling than any human being can have on any day the year. As good as love is, it can also manifest deep insecurities with fear of all kinds percolating deep inside you Am I good enough? Is he or she the right one? Are my red flags, right? Will he or she change for the better in time?
Is this my only chance at love? My biological clock is ticking so I must act right now. Almost everyone gets consumed with the shoulda, woulda, coulda in the delicate moments of trusting a new person with their heart. Romance can allow us to walk on a cloud with that “devil may care” attitude or fears that it will become a “living hell” full of insecurity and fear. All of this can happen before or after the first date! Discovering intimacy can be very sensitive when you meet someone new. Many hope to connect to and pray that they’ll have chemistry together. This can be very exhilarating and exciting for most whether it be men or women. So many times, many single people feel desperate or rush to connect to someone as so many unmet needs exist that they want a new partner to fill. We all long to be close and connected in the hopes our unmet needs will finally be fulfilled. This attitude tends to lead us to overreach our boundaries, therefore, applying personal pressure on any unsuspecting love interest. This overbearing energy actually pushes away what is wanted most. It’s really a paradox that those needs you desire to be myauthenticlifemagazine.com 37
Love is LOVE IS humbling, vulnerable and touching to the heart This is always the perfect and best place to start LOVE IS needing and conceding to what we don’t know as it really isn’t us who’s running the show Let LOVE humble you in ways you cannot comprehend Show tears of vulnerability as you reach out your hand to touch an unknown stranger or a very dear old friend LOVE IS after all as big as an ocean or a tree standing tall or a single teardrop most precious and small Go out and take chances, as that is what LOVE IS Be simple and generous and willing to give This is after all what LOVE really IS You are LOVED on this VALENTINE’S DAY of 2018 & every other DAY as well!
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fulfilled, can inadvertently push away the person. Sometimes it’s better to be vulnerable and take a stand knowing you’re worth it. This attitude takes trust to let them come towards you pulling them in closer rather than pushing them away. Very often when the desire for love comes into play, there’s a lot of pressure to make it happen fast. Many of us think that he or she has to be the one they’ve been waiting for! I’m not
negating that love, at first sight, can happen, as it does for many. Deep love, often takes time to see if this is the true one or the one that is deserving of your time and effort. Building a longterm relationship needs nurturing, and time to build a romance with a focus of longevity. This is really the work we need to do to be successful in love. Many who seek love or a new relationship later in life tend to carry a lot of baggage from their
repeat. Remember our families, particularly our parents, model love and relationships for us during our childhood. Romantic dysfunction can be a way of honoring “the devil you know” or even a loyalty to suffering in relationship to love. In many cases, we repeat or experience the same lessons that our parents did or didn’t learn. Consistently any successful relationship or marriage is more about vulnerability, intimacy and romantic connection than anything else.
Insecure demands can be a real turn off.
I have some words to the wise!
Some of the key factors are patience, vulnerability, and trust. Hopefully, you know your catch and also know you’re so worth it too. All you have to do is open your heart which will show you the way to communicate. With any luck, those intimacies will inspire your new romantic partner to do the same in return. I’m sure that authenticity will impress them, and they’ll like you even more. This is the solid foundation on which to build what you both want together, LOVE!
Go slow, very slow it’s like watering a plant drop by drop rather than drowning it with the whole bucket wondering why it wilts so fast.
previous relationships, marriages or encounters along with broken affairs. I find very often we repeat our romantic patterns over and over again throughout our lives. Believe it or not, there’s an ancestral component that we also
If you start to feel or discover love is taking root, take time to let it grow. Allow yourself the luxury of time to see what unfolds. Sometimes the romantic journey is better than the destination. Be very sure to back off from your own internal pressure that all too common impulse to state that “it’s me or all or nothing”.
Of course, all of us have friends that desire to get on the bandwagon with us. Most think it’s helpful to tell us what to do or how to do it. If they do have a successful relationship, listen and take it in, however, please make your own choices. Making “friends” happy should be your last concern. Be willing to put yourself first and trust in your own process to connect.
Fear not and take a stand so that love can come your way for a happy Valentine’s Day.
Gary Stuart Speaker, Author, Constellation Facilitator, Teacher has been documenting his healing experiences over the past several decades. As a young student of Primal Therapy and Shamanism, his insightful writings provide a unique perspective on the correlation between the micro and macro-cosmos, between our inner and outer worlds. His first book on Constellations Many Hearts, One Soul set the stage for his latest book Master Your Universe: How to Direct & Star in Your Own Life on Kindle or paperback at www.Amazon.com He Speaks and leads healing workshops and training nationally and internationally and resides in Southern California. His Distance, Family or Organizational Constellations are his healing specialty! His FREE Consultation: www.testyourhappiness.com and www.GaryStuartPRessKit.com Contact Info: Gary@Chifield.com Office (888) 369-9980 Cell (310) 758-2052 myauthenticlifemagazine.com 39
Self-Growth
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Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. by Tamara Green
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Hi Tamara, I am unhappy. There, I said it! I’ve been trying to focus on positive thoughts, but I just can’t deny any longer of how unhappy I am with my relationship and job. If my boyfriend would stop spending so much time on video games and be more focused on our relationship, I’d feel more fulfilled. If I got better pay and worked fewer hours, I’d feel more satisfied. But, it appears these things aren’t going to improve, even though I’ve tried everything to change them. Help! I want to be happy! Signed: Unhappy
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Dearest Unhappy, I used to be very unhappy, too. I blamed my parents for my childhood wounds, my boyfriends for not fulfilling my needs, and my job for my deep sense of disappointment and dissatisfaction. In fact, I became so unhappy that one day I contemplated driving my car off a cliff. Thank God I didn’t, but I felt devastated inside. That was a long time ago, but interestingly enough, it was my severe emotional pain that led me to my own salvation. I had to fall apart to begin putting the pieces of my life back together. It was through this hardship that I realized my happiness was not only my responsibility but also my choice. By sharing this, am I suggesting that you, too, have to fall apart to find happiness like I did? No. That was my path. However, I’d like to help you get well on your way to self-discovery and happiness.
My personal and professional experience has shown me that unhappiness is the result of having conditions and agendas. To help you understand what this means and how to release them, I’ve created the 3 Steps to Happiness below. 3 STEPS TO HAPPINESS STEP 1 - UNDERSTANDING YOUR CONDITIONS AND AGENDAS Conditions are the circumstances affecting the way in which you live, especially with regard to your well-being. • Exercise: To get an idea of the conditional thinking you’re operating from in your life, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): I won’t be happy unless or until ___(fill in the blank)___. Example: I won’t be happy until my boyfriend spends more time focusing on our relationship.
Agendas are your conscious (or subconscious) plans or timetables that you use as guidelines for yourself and others. • Exercise: To understand the agendas you’re operating from, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): ___(Your plan for yourself and/or others)___ needs to happen within ___(your timeline)___ in order for me to be happy.
Example: Making more money needs to happen within 6 months in order for me to be happy.
STEP 2 – AWARENESS OF YOUR CONDITIONS AND AGENDAS Having conditions and agendas makes for an unhappy life and is a recipe for disastrous relationships. It means that other people need to be, do or say things in a certain way in order for you to be happy. If they don’t, you end up blaming them for your unhappiness. By the way, you may be creating conditions and agendas for yourself, as well, which undermines your relationship with you. No one has created your unhappiness but yourself. And, my dearest reader, as you’ve experienced for yourself, trying to be or think positive when you’re feeling unhappy is extremely difficult. To help you reach the positive state of mind that you desire, try this exercise. • Exercise: Ask yourself these
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“Blaming others for your unhappiness will keep you unhappy. Forgiving them sets everyone free. Happiness is your responsibility and your choice.” —Tamara Green, LCSW
awareness-type questions (repeat as many times as necessary): - How many conditions and agendas am I using to create the reality that I’m choosing? Everything that is, am I willing to release them? - What unawareness am I using to create the unhappiness that I’m choosing? Everything that is, am I willing to release them? Tip: If you notice any resistance to this exercise, then keep repeating the questions until you feel lighter or better. Also, notice that you’re asking if you’re willing to let the conditions and agendas go. In the state of willingness, anything is possible. STEP 3 – FORGIVENESS AND GRATITUDE Forgiveness and gratitude are your keys to happiness. When you stop blaming yourself and others for your experience, then freedom ensues. When you appreciate the fact that all of your circumstances have led you to this moment of forgiveness,
happiness ensues. Therefore, forgiveness and gratitude equals freedom. Another word for freedom is happiness. • Exercise: To help you forgive yourself, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): Even though I ___ (what you’re blaming yourself for)___, I forgive myself. Doing so will set me free.
Example: Even though I sabotaged my good efforts, I forgive myself. Doing so will set me free.
• Exercise: To help forgive others, complete this sentence (as many times as necessary): Even though they ___(what you’re blaming them for)___, I forgive them. Doing so will set us free.
Example: Even though they haven’t given me a raise in years, I forgive them. Doing so will set us free.
Great inner work!! Follow these 3 steps every day for the next 30 days and enjoy your road to happiness! For those who are going through a life challenge, feel calm in
Copyright 2017, Tamara Green, LCSW. All Rights Reserved
minutes by downloading the free Loving Meditations App. Want dating and relationship advice right away? Take advantage of Tamara’s guidance and finally get clarity and relief from your dating or relationship struggles by clicking here. Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soulcentered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor® by Dr. Diana Kirschner, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on-1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy. Please follow Tamara Green, LCSW at twitter.com/tamaragreen4u Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me; facebook.com/TGreenLoveExpert; and youtube at: youtube.com/channel/ UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A myauthenticlifemagazine.com 45
THE MAGIC PILL by Sharon Carne
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or many years I searched looking for a magic pill that would solve all my problems.
I did find it. What I discovered was that the magic pill was ME!! So here’s my personal theme for 2018 – BE my Magic Pill. In other words, CLAIM MY POWER in a way I would never have imagined! This is something I have actually been doing for a long time, but lately, I’m feeling a big nudge from the universe (guides, soul) to step into my power in a much bigger way. Are you finding this too? If you have been on a spiritual journey for a while, it wouldn’t surprise me that you are feeling this big nudge too. So what does it mean to Claim Your Power in a bigger way? Here are some of the ways I am experiencing this at a deeper level: 1. DON’T BUY INTO THE FEAR. We have a massive flood of global ‘fearmongering’ in our culture right now. The extremes of polarity are giving us a great opportunity to observe how our ego can be captured by all this. For those with a regular spiritual practice, whether that is meditation, yoga, a walk outside, contemplation, or others, you may also be experiencing a powerful experience of the depth and deep peace of your own soul. One of my personal intentions over the past several years is to actually embody as much of my soul as my body can handle. Its expanding presence over this time is shifting my perspective to a place of deep peace from which power springs in a very different way. You ALWAYS have a choice. Be discerning. What are you choosing? myauthenticlifemagazine.com 47
2. MANAGE EMOTIONS! Fear keeps you locked in the emotional part of the brain. When that happens the emotional brain hijacks the thinking part of your brain. Those locked into ‘worry’ or fear have lost access to the part of the brain that can help solve problems. You end up stuck in an emotional loop. In addition to staring down the fear and understanding it, it is ESSENTIAL that emotions need to be managed to gain access to the whole brain. I don’t mean stuff or control emotions here. That just makes everything worse. For years, I was a stuffer! We are emotional beings. Emotions are life force energy. They need to flow. But when they get stuck in patterns or a loop or in the body, there are consequences.
Know how they show up in your body and being. There are many ways to heal and transmute emotional energy. One of the biggest tools I have found for me is to become intimately aware of my own particular ways (or beliefs) that structure how I see the world. I call these Perceptual Filters. Like sunglasses, they change their color all day long, depending on how you are choosing to see the world. There are thousands of them. A big filter is “victim.” Many people are stuck in that one right now. KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A CHOICE IN HOW YOU SEE YOUR WORLD!!! This is called intelligent perception. It is the inner sage that lives in the third eye. 3. AM I RUNNING AROUND WITH HALF A BRAIN? I have spent most of my life
focusing mostly on the logical left side of the brain. As an empath, my intuition is pretty strong, but I spent many years ignoring it. It is the same for those who live only from the intuitive, right side of the brain. We have two sides of the brain and we need to use them both to accomplish most powerfully what we came here to do. There are many practices that connect and integrate both sides of the brain, so you function with a whole brain. This empowers everything you do! My favorites at the moment to help me keep my brain whole are my old Tibetan bowls, crystal bowls and brainwave entrainment focusing on the Gamma state. Powerful stuff. 4. INTEGRATE THE SHADOW I have been a student of my own thoughts for decades. When I first started this practice, I was disgusted and horrified by the ongoing narrative of negative, judgmental thoughts. I certainly had my work cut out for me. It takes constant vigilance to know them. Especially in the fear-based culture, we find ourselves in today. What is the nature of your thoughts? Many of them are fear-based diatribes coming from what many call the ‘shadow’ part of you. Some call this the ego part.
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CHALLENGE EVERY NEGATIVE THOUGHT! As my mind became clearer, I learned to question every negative thought and ask for its source. If it arises from the shadow parts within me, I accept it and work with it. Some of them just pop up out of habit. Sometimes I pick up negative thought energy from the environment. If it is, it is dismissed easily. Be vigilant! Challenge every negative thought. Know your thoughts! 5. CLEAN UP YOUR VIBRATION As I step into more of my own power and soul driven energy, I am experiencing a deeper need to keep my energy clearer. I am also noticing when it is not! Creating and building Sound Wellness has demanded a
lot of this. Working with sound is one of the most powerful, if not THE most powerful, modality on the planet. Everything is sound. To be most effective in working with it and in training others to use it, managing my own vibration has been crucial to creating my best work. Know your energy when it is strong. And know what it is like when it is weak. Explore ways to shift your energy quickly from weak to strong when needed. Sound is a huge tool for this. 6. SAY ‘YES!’ TO THE UNIVERSE One of the most fascinating and fun things that have been happening in my life over the past few years is the wonderful opportunities that show up from ‘out of the blue’. These are opportunities I would never have considered on my own. And I am so grateful for these! One of them happened about ten years ago with a request to create a program for a study on stress at Mount Royal University. I said YES and that led to the creation of Sound Wellness. I would never have thought of that without working with those in my group during that study.
Another one was the opportunity to say YES to creating verified competency certification (the first in Canada) for Sound Wellness. This is bringing certification in working with sound to a whole new level and serving those practitioners who are looking for this level of certification. Would never have thought of that myself. How has saying YES! to the universe changed your life? Are you keeping a place in your heart and field open for this? No one can claim your power for you. Accepting responsibility for yourself is claiming your power. You are the only one who can do that. We live in unprecedented times with an enormous potential for evolution. But the evolution doesn’t happen without responsibility. The choice is yours. Sharon Carne is an author, speaker, musician, recording artist, sound healer, Reiki master and consultant. Sharon is the founder of Sound Wellness and the Sound Wellness Institute. Through the Sound Wellness Institute, holistic health practitioners receive the highest level of competency training in using sound and music to support their practice. Sound Wellness programs are at the forefront of education in how sound and music can be easily applied to your everyday life - to reduce stress, help you concentrate, energize you, inspire you and support your health. www.soundwellness.com myauthenticlifemagazine.com 49
FINDING DELIGHT IN THE MIDST OF SADNESS by Wini Curley, Ph.D.
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hen things start to go downhill for you, what is your natural tendency? Do you hear yourself saying something 50 | MY Magazine
like “I can tell this is only the start, and I just know it’s going to get worse”, or maybe “I wonder how bad this is going to get”? Or perhaps you are
able to hold a more positive and upbeat energy and find the silver lining in the storms. A while back I had a powerful reminder that even when
“I knew this day would come, but I didn’t expect to feel this upset. I know it’s the right decision to move mom from her spot in assisted living over to the nursing care unit. She is 97 after all, and as the doctor and nurses said on the phone today, she is beginning to decline in a way where she needs a lot more care and attention. It’s the right thing to do for sure. I do feel lucky that mom is in a really good facility where she will be well cared for, respected, and comfortable. And yet, it is the beginning of the end. “ “That trip to Florida we have planned will be very different now. It won’t be the fun visit we were planning. I know it has to be done, but I’m not looking forward to downsizing mom’s things once again. I’ll have to find a way to sell her furniture, choose a few clothes, some photos, and maybe a nightstand that she can keep with her.“ “All her life, Mom has been independent and even prickly about receiving help from others. It seems ironic that as her mind and body weaken, she is being required to receive more care and support from others. At the same time, she has to get rid of belongings and things that are familiar and may give her comfort.”
things are difficult or upsetting, there are always bright spots around if you look for them. And it is important to look for them. Here is my story.
“The sadness comes in waves as I sit here in my office trying to work. Sometimes it’s so strong I have to stop and breathe, and refocus on what I’m trying to get done.”
At the same time this was going on, I had already begun participating in a program led by a friend and talented healer. She asked a group of us to commit to noticing and/ or creating delightful moments in each day and sharing our experiences with the group. Because I already said I would, I continued the Delight exercise and paid attention. Afterward, I was very glad that I stuck with it and didn’t give up the opportunity to be delighted in the midst of my sadness. Imagine my astonishment when I got up from my desk and went into the kitchen for some tea. I felt sudden and pure delight as I looked at the orchids I keep in the window. The deep purple orchid had opened another new flower at the end of her graceful curved stalk, and it felt like she was winking at me. Another orchid opened her white flowers about 8 weeks ago, and she dropped her first bloom today. It felt like they were both reminding me that there is a natural cycle of life for all of us. I also experienced tremendous delight and even some laughter later in the day while texting with my daughter about her upcoming visit home. It was another clear reminder of the natural cycles of life. Those moments of delight provided much-needed relief and respite from my sadness. It gave me a perspective that the sadness would not last forever. It turns out that finding delight in every-day occurrences is a
in the space of a few hours (and even minutes) was an important distinction for me to welcome and remember. I was feeling this unlikely pair of emotions almost at the same time. Each gave me perspective on the other.
marvelous tool you can use at almost any time to lighten your mood. Here are three things I learned about connecting with delight: 1.
Define Delight for Yourself. Some people in our group associated delight with planned activities. They reported having massages, sharing coffee with friends, or taking a walk in nature. For me, there is an aspect of surprise to what I associate with delight. I am often delighted by the unexpected presence of beauty (like my orchids), or enjoyment (like my daughter’s text). It doesn’t matter how you define it, just that you do. Take the time to connect to how it feels when you are delighted. It will help you recognize and savor delight when it happens.
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2. It’s an Unlimited Resource. Give yourself permission to notice and embrace delight more and more often. There is no quota or limitation on how much delight you are allowed. Whether you’re having a bad day, like mine, or a very good day, give yourself full permission to have some delight along with whatever else is being served. 3.
Guilt-Free. You can have all the delight you can handle and there is no need to feel guilty about it. It would have been counterproductive for me to resist feeling delighted just because I was sad for a different reason. Let yourself be lifted energetically and emotionally, whenever you can, by delight.
Experiencing the presence of deep sadness and happy delight
We, humans, are complex beings capable of a broad emotional range. Too often, we tend to dwell on and remember the tough or sad stuff. It is part of our natural state to experience both ups and downs. The good news is you don’t have to be stuck in a low spot for long. Choose to look for delight, and open your heart to see and feel it. Let it fill you. What gave you delight today? Wini Curley, Ph.D. is a Resilience Expert, Speaker, and Executive Coach. She shows leaders and their organizations how to energize their next win - whether they are on a roll or in a hole. In 2002, Wini became an entrepreneur and left a 20-year corporate career cleaning up environmental hazardous waste sites. Now, she helps clients clean up toxic habits, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that contaminate their path to success. Clients say Wini’s keen intuition, judgement-free approach, and energy techniques all help free them to release frustrations and blocks and accelerate toward what they really want. Wini has coached successful leaders and entrepreneurs across 3 continents. Clean up the toxicities big or small at the leadership level, and watch the business and its people grow and flourish. Learn more about Wini and her programs at www.WiniCurley.com and www.GiftsFromWini.com
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PASS IT ON by Lisa Marie Platske
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hen I was in my teens, it was as if the earth opened and swallowed me up.
What shifted was when I began focusing on what I had vs. lamenting about what I didn’t – and thought I deserved.
Me. The real me. And, somehow, I was replaced with an imitation. Sure, it still looked like me on the outside, yet on the inside, it felt like a Halloween party where I was the keeper of dozens of masks and depending on the situation depended on which mask I pulled out so that I ensured I would fit in. (Perhaps that’s why I’ve never loved Halloween…) The truth is I never did fit in – and just like in the art world, the replica of me was less valuable because it wasn’t the authentic, original creation. Despite being smart and having a few (I didn’t have many) great friends, I didn’t always make the best decisions for my life. I made choices from what felt like an out-of-body experience where I would do and say things and then think, “That’s not me....” After a poor decision would come a heaping of guilt and shame, creating a vicious cycle of self-pity. On my journey, it took a l-o-n-g time to not feel as if I was the sum total of all of my mistakes. To realize that the world needed me – the real me – to make the difference only I could make with my unique gifts, abilities, talents, and expertise.
With that shift, I realized just how much I actually had to be grateful for in my life. When you spend time praising and thanking, you can’t feel sorry for yourself. •
You remember how your co-worker said just what you needed to hear after you just found out that you lost your Mom;
•
You remember how you got every green light so you wouldn’t be late for your important meeting;
•
You remember how the woman at the grocery store complimented you on the day when you were feeling like you should have stayed in bed;
You see the world through a clearer lens. It’s only then that you’re able to see the struggles that others are facing. You get clarity on the difference between real problems and minor inconveniences. Because of this, you’re able to give focus and attention to others and how you might be of support and/ or service vs. focusing solely on your perceived situation. You then find ways to pass on your grace and mercy. Whether it’s in your home, your favorite restaurant, or in a country far from where you live, there are people
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who need you to love and believe in them.
Start with one thing. •
Pick up the phone. Call a friend.
This can seem daunting. •
Who am I?
•
Smile.
•
What can I do?
•
Buy the person after you a coffee at Starbucks.
•
Can I really make a difference?
The answer is a resounding “Yes!” You can make a difference.
The simple act of praising and thanking all that you have will enable you to pay attention to what is most important to you and make better decisions.
It only ever takes one person to make a difference.
I invite you to choose one thing that you will do to reach out and support someone else.
When you see others in need, it can change and soften you to recognize that we are all connected.
It’s the best thing to keep you from wallowing in self-pity with where you are vs. where you want to be.
This doesn’t have to be a monumental task.
The world needs you and your brilliance.
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Lisa Marie Platske left her action-packed life as a Federal law enforcement officer to become the CEO of international leadership company, Upside Thinking, Inc. An award-winning leadership expert and #1 best-selling international author of 4 books, she takes her law enforcement journey which began on the piers of New York and ended post 9/11 and shares what exceptional leaders do differently and how to be positioned as an expert in order to seize big opportunities. As a certified master coach, Lisa Marie coaches women in business around the globe. With experience working with clients in over 20 different industries, her proven 7-step formula has resulted in her clients being seen, heard, and recognized for their work without having to change who they are. The founder of Design Your Destiny LIVE www.DesignYourDestinyLive, she lives in Alexandria, Virginia with her loving and supportive husband Jim and their two pet foxes.
change
Be the you want to see
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BE YOUR BEST by Kate Sholonski
A
new year is upon us and it is quite likely that you may be taking stock of yourself, your work, your relationships, habits, and life in general, assessing what changes you would like to make so that you can be your best. Many of us take this early-year tradition as a time to improve
58 | MY Magazine
ourselves in some way, and for some, it can turn out to be an opportunity to scrutinize ourselves to the point all we can see is our faults. Now, I am not going to dissuade you from taking a good hard look at how you’ve been showing up in the world, paying attention to how much stress you’ve felt or transmitted, or the impact you have on others. My suggestion is to not do your self-assessment from a place of lack or judgment, but rather from the standpoint of being MORE ALIGNED with what is naturally great about you. Consider this perspective: You came into this world complete with an array of natural gifts. They were hard-wired into the beautiful creation that is the spirit of you. As your life went on, due to a variety of circumstances, you may have lost sight of those natural gifts and began to see yourself as lacking in some way. You may have begun to compare yourself to others or put yourself down for not being good enough. The truth is, your beautiful gifts that you came into this world embodying, are still there. Unfortunately, you may not be knowing what they are or perhaps you believe you outgrew them. If you don’t know you’ve got it, it makes it hard to use it. So, as you take stock of yourself as a new year gets rolling, be sure to look within at the truth of who you are and how you are (or are not) living up to manifesting those gifts in your life. The tip in making this process easier is to get real and identify
what is innately true about you. If kindness is natural, be kind. If compassion feels natural, be compassionate. If sensitivity is a gift others appreciate in you, be sensitive. If you’re naturally bold and adventuresome, take more risks. If you are naturally playful, give yourself opportunities to play. It is a win-win situation for ourselves and for every life we touch when each of us stays true to who we are. I mean who we really are rather than living our lives constantly longing to be someone else. Being your best means just that. Be YOUR best, since no one else can bring your unique compilation of gifts to the world like you can. Kate Sholonski transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
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SIMPLY Spiritual
THE DREAM EXPERTS What Does Your Dream Mean? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Searching,
I have had this reoccurring dream over the past two years. I am usually very intuitive, but I can’t figure this one out. It is always a completely different setting; however, the theme is always the same. I am in great need to find a restroom. There is always a public restroom around, usually with many stalls, but there is something wrong with each of them. The stall is too dirty, clogged with filth, or has a broken door. As my need grows, I am forced to choose one, and it is always one without a door or walls. Everyone can see me doing my business. I am always embarrassed and humiliated.
Searching for a restroom in a dream indicates a need to release thoughts and/or feelings that are unproductive for you. The restrooms never measure up to your desire, which indicates that you do not feel well equipped to be able to go about the task of releasing these unwanted thoughts and/or feelings. You feel embarrassed by this need to release and by the process of doing it. Look in your life for where you are letting go of old ways of being and learn to love and appreciate this as a sign that you are learning and growing.
Sincerely, Searching
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Kathryn and Patrick Andries, the Dream Experts, are teachers and co-founders of the School of Intuitive Arts and Sciences, www. intuitiveschool.com. If you would like a dream interpreted, please submit it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net.
Dear Dream Expert, My dream started in a waiting area, perhaps a bus terminal, yet it was much larger than a bus terminal and many more people. A woman whom I attended college with was doing her best to have a conversation with me. I recall not being very interested in what she had to say because she was usually very dismissive and unhelpful. She really wanted to talk to me, but I excused myself. The bus was running late. A place similar to an office was a few rooms away and I went to what was apparently my desk and sat for a moment. I looked around the room and felt very reflective and thought of my past, present, and future as I looked around. I remember speaking to actor Michael De Lorenzo. He was very conversational and seemed to be on the same path that I was on and very much in alignment with the way I was thinking and speaking. I remember suddenly someone saying “The buses are here!� For some reason, I was gathering things from the desk even though I had already packed for the trip. I remember taking my time and not being in a rush. I saw that there were at least four buses and they were picking up passengers from a mall parking lot in the morning hours. I saw the buses pulling off and yet I was not worried because I had the phone number of one of the bus drivers and a co-worker that was on another bus. Thus, I had no worry of being left behind. Sincerely, No Worries
Dear No Worries, A bus is a vehicle capable of carrying many people. A large vehicle represents a group or organization. You interact with many others and this stimulates many different aspects of your inner self. The woman you are avoiding is a part of yourself where you are self-dismissive and you desire to avoid this part of yourself. An office is a place where goals are achieved. This is where you retreated as you began to reflect on your life. Michael De Lorenzo is an actor and so represents a part of you that is good at pretending. This part of you can be skilled in imagining new ways of being, but be careful not to get caught up in pretense. The buses leaving represent opportunities for being a part of different organizations coming and going in your life. You are not concerned about this because you know that you have connections to be able to participate when you want to. Look in your life to where you may have opportunities to participate with others and maybe dismissive of yourself. You are reflective of this and imagine being different. You are allowing these opportunities to come and go, but you do have a sense that you can participate when you choose.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 63
THERE’S NO “H” OR “D” IN SOUL
Letting Go of the ‘ShOULd’ In Your Life
by Amanda Butler Slade
T
here’s no H or D in the word SOUL.
However, most of us have added in the H and D and grew 64 | MY Magazine
up in the land of ‘ShOULd’, not within love and our True desires. Many lost the ability to even know what their desires were, or have left behind their
dreams due to their ‘shoulds’ or circumstances in life. I know. I’ve been there too. The ‘should’ is the
the automatic pilot of our Habits of the ‘shoulds’. The D is the Dysfunctional behaviors because of the thoughts, feelings and beliefs we create by operating from our ‘shoulds’ versus our desires and SOUL’s energies. I grew up in a middle-class neighborhood in which the ‘normal’ was go to school every day, get good grades, choose to either play sports or be part of a club, music or theatrical activity, go to church and ‘be a good girl’. Once you graduated from high school, you went on to college, started a career and worked your Self up through the ranks. It certainly wasn’t about rocking the boat, ‘thinking outside the box’ or being non-compliant with the norm. Nor was it necessarily finding something you were passionate about and pursuing it. In fact, there was a lot of judgment around the few people that did and I certainly did not want to be judged.
conditioning and programming we’ve observed, learned and experienced that are based on fear, survival and the past. Thus the H becomes
Not that I’m complaining. I learned a lot. I experienced a lot. I even thought I was actually having fun. I traveled, stayed in five-star hotels, ate in some of the best restaurants, played golf all over the country and visited many epic places around the world. I was an executive in a couple of different industries and successful in my career.
But I felt like a heavy wet blanket was draped over me (like a dark cloud hanging over me or like “Pig Pen” with the dust cloud following me) so I never really felt pure love, joy or passion within. My life and what I experienced was all based on what was going on ‘outside’ of me. It felt like there was always a piece missing. What I discovered later on … the piece missing was a part of me. By following the ‘shoulds’ in life, I did achieve many of my goals. However, I did not necessarily celebrate my achievements because once I achieved one goal, I would immediately set another. I never relished in what I had accomplished or felt the value I brought to the table. I lived in constant fear that I would never, ever really 100% succeed … something would always be wrong on some level and true fulfillment and success were beyond my reach. Notice the words always and never. I was always trying to prove my Self … prove that I was worthy, that I was lovable, that I was good enough. I looked to the ‘outside’ for acceptance and validation. I tried to fill up the void I felt ‘inside’ through the ‘outside’ … through my job, through relationships, through a man, through my bank accounts, through my material possessions, etc. However, there’s a time in everyone’s life in which the
In my gut, I dreaded it and felt terrible about saying yes. I knew it wasn’t the right thing for me but I always operated from ‘shoulds’, not from what was True for me. Quite frankly, I didn’t know what I Truly wanted, what I was passionate about, or even who I was if I didn’t have the identity of my job or title. I felt lost but I didn’t know what to do. Fortunately, my SOUL did.
CONNECTION ©2015 Keenawah & Associates, LLC
The Universal Energy Form of Connection from The Diamond Co-Creative System™ provides energetic vibrations to help you activate your Soul Codes of Destiny and Success. This sacred geometry technology can help you tap into the energies of Universal Source and activate your Soul Code of Connection. It helps you bridge the gap between the spiritual part of you … your Soul’s Essence with the physical part of you … your personality/egoic Self. You become MORE aligned with your Soul’s energies and the Universe’s Highest Potential that which is held for you. ‘should’ no longer works or serves us. And that time came for me in 1997. My SOUL literally got me fired. I was in the process of moving from Tampa to New 66 | MY Magazine
York. I was a VP of Sales & Marketing for a medical publishing firm. They were closing our Tampa office and wanted me to move to New York. I really didn’t want to move but being the ‘good girl’ I said yes.
It was the first day in the New York office. I went in early to get my new office set up so I would be all ready to go. I went around to the various departments to check on projects and things in the works for clients. In doing so, I found that my General Manager had changed the direction on some of our client projects without consulting me. He had even reversed course on some directives in marketing and sales that I had implemented before the holidays. Then, I learned that there was a Managers meeting at noon that I wasn’t even invited to, but VPs from other divisions were included. I had a very uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. “What the heck?” I said to myself. “Why was I even brought here to New York?” In my mind, I had given up so much for them. I had worked 75 plus hours a week and traveled 4
out of 5 days practically every week, all out of my dedication to this company. Now, they wanted me to move to New York?! They wanted me to uproot my life in Florida … to come and live in a shoe box of an apartment and in a cold city, instead of in my beautiful, spacious home with French doors opening out to my pool, wood floors, marble tile, Jacuzzi tub, fireplace and the kitchen where I loved to cook while enjoying the tropical warmth during winter months? My thoughts were “Why am I being treated this way? I’ve given them my all and to be handled like a puppet instead of as the one ‘in charge’ was simply not okay.” I bore all of
the responsibility of managing the division, but it seemed like I no longer had any real authority. I most certainly was not a happy camper’. At 11 am, I had my regularly scheduled phone call with my boss, the General Manager. The more we talked, the more I could feel a weird sensation … like something was taking over my mind and body. There was an energy that pulsed through me, but it was different than the anger and agitation I had already been feeling. No, this sensation was stronger and more vibrant. It was like an adrenaline rush but, somehow, different. My SOUL took over. I was no longer in control of what I was saying or feeling. There was
a calmness and strength as I finally spoke my Truth. I said to my boss “Why are you moving me up here? You’re clearly not utilizing my expertise nor taking advantage of the experience I bring to the table. You’re not valuing what I have to offer.” I then shared what I had learned that morning before our meeting. I told him how unhappy I was … I felt I was being treated like a puppet, not the person chosen for an important leadership role. As I said these things, I couldn’t stop my Self. I wanted to reel back in all the things that I was so passionately expressing, but I simply could not. I wanted to shove the words back into my mouth, but it was too late.
myauthenticlifemagazine.com 67
for me, what I was passionate about and what I Truly desired, I discovered there were parts of me I never experienced. I purchased a musical SOUL Portrait which was a one-of-akind, spontaneously performed composition of music channeled in just for me. The portrait musically expresses one’s unique SOUL signature which serves as a powerful tool of SelfRemembrance. For me, it was like looking through the window of my SOUL and experiencing a Divine meeting with my Self as I listened to my Soul’s Essence reflected in the music.
As I hung up the phone, I knew my life was going to change and do so, both rapidly and dramatically. I realized I had just nailed my coffin shut, with no chance of continuing with this company, as VP of Sales & Marketing, nor in any other capacity. Two hours later, I was called into the Chief Financial Officer’s office for a meeting with both him and my General Manager. They fired me on the spot. Instead of being panicked, I immediately felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I felt the tension in my body start to release and I actually started to relax and let go. I can still remember exactly what I felt and thought that day in 1997 like it was only yesterday. I had no Plan B 68 | MY Magazine
because I was always focused on the ‘shoulds’. Over the next few months, what I discovered was the ‘shoulds’ no longer served me. I tried to go back into the corporate world but would just sit outside in the parking lot crying before I would go in for an interview. The ‘shoulds’ no longer motivated me to achieve a new goal, a new job or the next best thing. They no longer inspired me to learn and grow. They no longer drove me toward the need to succeed. My heart was not into it and my mind was worn out and overwhelmed. The missing part of me was the connection with my SOUL … with my True Self … with love. I remember as I searched for what was next
I broke down and cried … but this time, they were tears of joy. I had never experienced or felt the beauty, love or joy that the music portrayed for me as my SOUL’s Essence. The conditioning and programming of the ‘shoulds’ and the wounds of the past were not there. I felt only what was possible. I began to tap back into the passion and energies of my SOUL …
SOUL Synchronize and Own your Unified Field of LOVE … Living Only Vibrant Energy Hearing my unique SOUL signature lit a fire under my
Self to explore and discover more of me so I could connect me with me. I started to unravel the ‘shoulds’ so I could create a new tapestry of my life based on love and thrival rather than through fear and survival. And, I definitely started to rock the boat and ‘think outside the box’. I was a seeker. I went to workshop after workshop. I read book after book. I had healing session upon healing session. As I did, I experienced the Truth about my Self, not the criticisms, judgments or negative Self-talk I often had about my Self, or that I took on from others. I learned how to tap into my SOUL’s essence and stand in the love, power, and authority of my Self. Did this happen overnight? Certainly not. It took time. It took dedication. And it took perseverance. What I learned are the five steps to help you connect with you: 1. Acknowledge and accept what works and what doesn’t in your life, relationships and career or business. This includes what you like and don’t like and what you want and don’t want. Be honest with your Self and know it doesn’t mean anything about you, other than it’s not a vibrational match for you.
2. Start to journal and write three pages a day preferably as soon as you wake up in the morning. This way you can access what’s subconsciously there near the surface as you awake and before your mind gets too busy. This helps you to get in touch with you and what’s True for you. When I started doing this, I wondered if sticky notes were okay because I believed I did not have much to say. The answer was of course no. I found if you allow your Self to write (even if it is about the birds singing around you or what the morning looks and feels like), your Soul will eventually reveal things you did not even know. 3. Learn how to meditate and do so daily. Meditation is different for everyone. There’s not just one way of doing it. If you already meditate, change it up every so often so you can uplevel to a new vibration and expand your awareness. 4. Read or listen to books that you are guided to about personal growth, self-love, healing, empowerment, spirituality, etc. Expand your knowledge so you can step outside your box.
5. Invest in your Self. Take courses, book a practitioner to help you heal the past or let go of your ‘shoulds’, or hire a coach to support you in exploring who you REALly are and help you discover your True passion, desires, and purpose and take action aligned with your SOUL’s Essence and Love. And most of all, have fun with taking the H and D out of your life in the ‘ShOULd’ so your SOUL guides you into your MORE!
Amanda Butler Slade is the Architect of The Diamond Co-Creative System™ and since 2001 has assisted thousands to heal their present and past life energetics, while activating their Soul Codes of Destiny and Success, so they create an integration and vibrational alignment between their Soul’s Essence and personality/egoic Self. The results … they feel connected with their authentic Self, True purpose, passion, joy and love with the ability to fulfill their Highest Potential and live their MORE!
For More about Amanda and how a Soul Reading can help you, go to http://cocreateyoursuccess. com/soul-reading-special/ www.CoCreateYourSuccess.com https://www.facebook.com/ createyourdiamondlife myauthenticlifemagazine.com 69
THE SECRET THAT PEACEFUL PEOPLE KNOW by Kerri Hummingbird
I
n my life, before I found my spiritual path, I could spin up a drama better than anyone else. Before you could blink an eye, I could turn a molehill into a mountain with the stories I told and the emotions I let rise like a torrential rainstorm within 70 | MY Magazine
me. I would perceive a nuance, attribute negative meaning to it, get myself worked up over that assessment, and then the tale would take on a life of its own. Pretty soon I would feel completely righteous about furiously firing off an email,
certain I was educating the other person about fairness and where they went wrong. As a matter of fact, anything I perceived as not ‘fair’ easily became the fodder for my frustration and angst. I would
circumstances; how could they be so cold-hearted? How could they go on living while these completely unfair things were happening right in front of them? How could we let people get away with that? Oftentimes when I was in the middle of these rants, there would be someone in my midst who remained calm and exuded a quiet knowing. I remember noticing that it felt like an ocean of peace surrounded these people. They were unperturbed by my passionate argument. They simply observed me. I didn’t feel the onset of shame that typically came from someone judging me; I simply felt like they were listening without buying into my story. They had questions in their eyes.
often turn these personal fits into campaigns by telling anyone who would listen about the injustice and then press them to have a comparable level of disbelief and disgust as I did. I simply could not understand anyone who didn’t share my disdain for the
Something about the peaceful feeling combined with the curious eyes was unsettling for me. It made me aware that they knew something I didn’t. That they were tapped into something that I wasn’t… something that allowed them to stay calm in the middle of the storm. It was almost like they were living in a completely different world from the one I was suffering in, and their world felt a whole lot better. I really, deeply, wanted that for myself. I sat across from a psychotherapist for decades trying to learn how to become like that…a person who feels like an ocean of peace. What was their secret? Walking around the park today in contemplation, I remembered these experiences of peaceful
people and I suddenly realized: I have become that peaceful person. While I experience the shifting tides of human emotion, I am able to return to a peaceful vibration at will. So I realized, if I am now a peaceful person, then I know the secret that peaceful people know. A rush of excitement filled me as I explored within myself for the secret that peaceful people know. Ahhhh! That’s it! The secret to peace is to realize one simple truth: Everything is a gift. With this realization it made sense! The questions I saw in the eyes of peaceful people were their sincere curiosity to see how the thing in front of them was a gift. Indeed! How is it a gift? You may be wondering how I can say that everything is a gift when so many things happen in this world that causes people to suffer. Here are some helpful keys to realizing the gifts hidden in the difficult situations:
1
CURIOSITY. When difficult situations arise, ask many questions. The less you think you know, the better. This way, you avoid the traps of the ego mind that is accustomed to patterns of thinking that generate suffering. When you question the thoughts that cross your mind, especially the ones that lead to suffering, you open a doorway to discovering new information that could lead to a completely different perception of the situation. Curiosity also loosens attachment to the perceptions you have related myauthenticlifemagazine.com 71
person is here to learn different lessons, and those lessons require experiencing a variety of circumstances. Let the Universe coordinate the distribution of experiences among souls to ensure their highest learning potential. It’s not up to you to arbitrate the Divine. When you let go of these key expectations, you’ll be able to perceive situations with a great deal of curiosity as to what particular gifts are in store for each person in the challenges they encounter.
to being triggered emotionally, which helps you to see things from different perspectives. Curiosity is a masterful tool because it does not directly confront and invalidate (thereby meeting resistance); rather, it gently opens the door to many more possibilities…including the one you currently perceive. Curiosity very reliably leads to uncovering a lesson, which most certainly is a gift for your soul.
gratitude. The ego mind trained in patterns of suffering prefers a hasty conclusion because it ushers in conflict, which leads to emotional eruption and energy drain. Meditation creates SPACE for you to clear your perceptual filters of low-vibration energies so that you see the situation in an entirely new light. Certainly, this shift in awareness and perception is a gift.
2
EXPECTATION. What causes a lot of suffering is the expectation that life should be this way or that way. For example, life should be easy with all my needs met is an expectation that will lead to a great deal of suffering because, indeed, life is not intended as a cake walk. Likewise, expecting things in life to be permanent will also cause suffering because life is constantly in motion. And expecting that every person should have a relatively comparable experience of life so that things are ‘fair’ will also cause suffering because each
SPACE. Giving yourself space such as reflection time creates the possibility that the triggering energy surrounding a situation dissipates just enough for the sunlight of clarity to stream in through your mind. I’ve experienced it where I began the practice of emptying my mind through active prayer and meditation from a very uncomfortable feeling and negative perception, and in just 15 minutes felt completely the opposite with a mind perceiving from a state of love and 72 | MY Magazine
3
4
GRATITUDE. You have a life, and you get to gain wisdom by experiencing it. Lessons and wisdom are the greatest gifts a soul can receive. No matter what happens in your life, no matter how difficult it may be at various moments, the truth is that your life is a gift. When you realize that everything is a gift, and you truly know it from the depths of your heart, you will become a peaceful person. Receive the free ebook, Reinvent Yourself: Indulge Your Deepest Desires By Becoming Who You Are Starving To Be at kerrihummingbird.com/gift Kerri Hummingbird Sami is a soul guide, shamanic healer, award-winning author and inspirational speaker. Kerri has over 20 years of experience in leading by inspiration and a special passion for empowering women to be the artists of their lives. She mentors women to rewrite the story of their lives through inner transformation, connection to essence, remembrance of purpose, and realignment to authenticity and truth. www.kerrihummingbird.com
Lynn Darmon PSYCHIC MEDIUM REIKI PRACTITIONER
Make 2018 Your Year! Most recently featured on
Lynn has been featured on ABC’s 20/20, The Huffington Post, AOL, Yahoo News, The Oakland Press, The Detroit Jewish News, Eydis Magazine, MY Magazine, Body, Mind, Spirit Radio, the Lisa Bousson Show, and has been featured in the recently published book, “Everyday Oracles,” by Ann Bolinger-McQuade.
31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • lynn@heavenswhisper.net Facebook: Medium Lynn Darmon SERVICES PROVIDED: In person • By phone • E-mail • Skype
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Angelic Love by Janette Stuart
74 | MY Magazine
D
uring this season near Valentine’s Day when the world seems to focus on love, this message is sent to remind you that you are not alone. You are surrounded by a team of angels who love and care about you. Each of us has at least two guardian angels who are with us our entire life. They have loved you since before you were born. They love you unconditionally. There is nothing that you could have thought, done or ‘not’ done that would change this truth. The word angel means, “God’s Messenger” and they bring us love, light and angelic goodness and grace even when we are not aware of their presence. Since we are created to have free will, we must ask for the angels’ assistance. They are closer than your heartbeat and nearer than your breath. Your request need not be anything fancy or formal; a simple “Angels, help me with this situation” will do. You can call on any of these Archangels to assist you at any time. They, like God, are omnipotent, which means they can assist with your requests and help others at the same time. Your asking for help or assistance does not take the angels or their assistance away from others. Your request is just as important as anyones. You don’t need to be “good enough” to ask for their help.
They are God’s gift to you to assist in making your earthly journey better. As an angelic practitioner, I am learning more about the angels each day and will detail a bit about the first four from the list above. Archangel Michael - Michael’s name means “He who is like God” or “He who looks like God.” His primary function is to assist us in eliminating fear. Archangel Michael gives guidance and direction or assistance for our life’s purpose or career path and assists us to clarify or to make changes in our lives. Archangel Michael assists us in setting healthy boundaries and retaining our life force energy by not giving it away to others. Archangel Michael is the defender of the element of fire and of the south. Archangel Michael is the leader of the Archangels; he is the angel of protection, courage, power, and strength. Archangel Michael wraps you in protection and encourages you to make life changes that are required for your spiritual growth. Archangel Michael is the Patron Angel of law enforcement and the military. The color associated with Archangel Michael is royal blue or purple. Archangel Raphael - Raphael’s name means “God heals” or “God has healed.” Archangel Raphael is a powerful healer of physical bodies, both human and animal. Archangel Raphael myauthenticlifemagazine.com 75
There are also Archangels who are higher up in the angelic hierarchy. There are 16 main Archangels. They are Michael • Raphael • Gabriel • Uriel •Ariel • Azrael Chamuel • Haniel • Jeremiel • Jophiel • Metatron • Raguel Raziel • Sandalphon • Zadkiel • Nathaniel. is the defender of the element of air and of the east. He is the angel of love, joy, and laughter, custodian of the tree of life and of healing powers. Archangel Raphael also assists with travel. He helps heal your mind, thoughts, body, and soul. Those suffering from addiction would benefit from asking Archangel Raphael for assistance. Archangel Raphael is the Patron Angel of all those in the field of medicine. The color associated with Archangel Raphael is emerald green. Archangel Gabriel - Gabriel’s name means “God is my strength.” Archangel Gabriel helps anyone whose life purpose involves art or communication. Archangel Gabriel is the defender of the element of water and of the west. Archangel Gabriel is the angel of resurrection, mercy,
and peace and helper of writers, artists, teachers and other communicators. Archangel Gabriel assists us with creativity, prophecy, purifying our thoughts, body, and emotions. Archangel Gabriel is the Patron Angel of all who work in the field of communications, postal workers, and clergy. The color associated with Archangel Gabriel is white or clear. Archangel Uriel - Uriel’s name means “God is Light” or ”God’s Light” or “Fire of God” because he illuminates situations and gives prophetic information and warnings. Archangel Uriel is considered the Archangel who helps us with natural disasters. Call upon Archangel Uriel to avert or diminish such events or to heal and recover in their aftermath. Archangel Uriel is the defender of the element of earth and of the north. Archangel
Uriel is also the angel of nature, visions and the prophecy. Archangel Uriel assists with peace, spiritual understanding, our studies, and problemsolving. Archangel Uriel is also the Patron Angel of literature and music. The color associated with Archangel Uriel is Red. One of my life’s greatest joys is to help people connect more deeply with God and the angels by providing angel sessions. It is like having an intimate conversation with a cherished friend. I’d be happy to assist you in connecting with your angels. You can find out more about the process by visiting http://bit.ly/angelreadinginfo Wishing you a season of love this month. Know that you are never alone. You have a team of angels who love you unconditionally.
I’m Janette Stuart, Founder of Angel Angles which is my labor of love. I have wanted to express my soul’s work in a more visible way and am now devoting more time to Angel Angles since my retirement in 2015. Angel Angles exists to spread more love, joy and peace into the world. I have always loved to write, I write every day. I write longhand in several different journals as well as type electronically. I have always loved handwriting, the sending of cards and notes, the keeping of a journal or diary. My first book, “On a Path of Joy” will be available in September. I am thrilled. My hope is that the book will help the reader develop or enhance their relationship with their Creator. I am a grateful member of and core blogger for The Wellness Universe. The Wellness Universe is an evolutionary community of members who are positively impacting the world in one or more of the 7 areas of wellness. As a lifelong empath, I have experienced people’s feelings deeply. I have a deep compassion for my fellow man and love deeply. I choose to live a joy filled life each day and hope to help others do the same. Joy is my focus word for 2016. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area with my husband of 33 years, Mark, and our rescue boxer dog, Spike. We have a grown son, Max, who is happily serving in the Coast Guard. I am a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor as well as an angelic practitioner. Besides writing, I am a lifelong learner, who reads daily, I also enjoy walking in nature, sky watching, cooking, RVing along the California Coast and visiting with friends and family. Some of my most requested recipes are Asian Chicken Salad and Sticky Toffee Pudding.
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Healthy Living
CHERISH WHO YOU ARE by Liz Bull
Cherish: To treat with tenderness, care and affection; to nurture or protect with care. Truth: You deserve to cherish yourself no matter what you weigh. Inconvenient truth: Being thin will not make you happy or cherished.
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any people who have lost weight and become thin are also deeply disappointed...and feel cheated, duped...lied to. They think- “Wait a minute! They said my life would be great when I got thin...that I would be happy... that I would love myself... and be loved.” They love being thin and wearing smaller clothes... feeling lighter. Secretly, they now know and realize that changing the outside did not change the inside. They still feel like a “fat person” - unworthy, unlovable, broken, damaged... and really angry! And empty and let down. Rather like that old song “Is That All There Is?”. The problem is that “thin” has been bundled up with dreams, with love, with being cherished, with being OK, with “arriving.” It becomes a huge goal. Dreams get postponed while you work hard to become thin... certain that the struggle will have been worth it. The thinking is “when I’m thin, then real life can begin.” Alas! “Thin” is just a body size and a wrinkle in time. It is not a destination or an endpoint. There will be no parade with a brass band when you get to “thin.” “Thin” is rather like the Zen joke about enlightenment. Before enlightenment, life is about chopping wood and getting water. After enlightenment, life is about chopping wood and getting water. It is the same with “thin.” You have to keep living your life.
The fact is that your relationship with food and body size is an ongoing process and not an endpoint or a promontory point from which everything looks different. And this is exactly why so many people lose weight only to gain it back again (and again!) and continue to believe that the next time it will be different. They want to believe that being thin will fulfill the magical promise of everlasting happiness... and joy and self-love and worthiness. Inconvenient Truth: “Thin” can never provide any of those things. That is an “inside job” you must do yourself. This is not to say that you should just accept being fat, with all of the health risks that come with it. Attaining your natural healthy weight is a good goal to have. There are many great reasons to be thin- like making it easier to fit into clothes, being more physical, taking stress off your heart and your joints. Being cherished is NOT one of them. Being cherished and the size of your body is not in the same equation. The truth is that you deserve to be cherished and to cherish yourself. No matter the size of your body, no matter how “good” you are, no matter what. Period. “Thin” does not make anyone happy. It never did and it never could. So what does make you happy? The good news is that you can have that right now... without waiting for “thin.” How
can you have happiness...and all of the other things you thought “thin” would provide? By living as if you like yourself! By nixing the “fat and ugly” attacks and self-judgment. By making a commitment to be kind to yourself. By setting aside “me time” each and every day. By acting on your own behalf. What you focus on expands. Put your energy and attention on being happy. Put your attention on truly appreciating your body. After all, it has put up with a lot! Use affirmations to boost your self-confidence. Concentrate on clearing crap and tolerations out of your life. Make a practice of self-care and stress-relieving meditations. In short, cherish yourself. You deserve it. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mindset work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates not only for the sufferer but for their families. www.lizbull.com
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Let’s Party by Annabel Cohen
F
ebruary has several entertaining events on its calendar. And the two most famous are both at the beginning of the month and (for the most part) are hosted in front of the television There’s the most casual -- the Super Bowl. Then there’s the swank and glam of the Academy Awards. Entertaining for the big game is easy -- chili,
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sandwiches, snacks. And, surprise, It’s equally easy to create lovely dishes for the big awards show. Here are some of my favorite winter dishes to serve for special dinners. Though none is particularly difficult to prepare, they are classic and gourmet with European flavors. And, since it’s February, they offer that hearty comfort food vibe that’s so appreciated when the temperatures dip. Serve a hearty cabernet with this delicious meal.
Annabel is a foodie. She’s a writer. A cooking instructor. An explorer. She’s a aesthete. She knows how to cook. Until fairly recently, Annabel only cooked for people she knows. Her catering, articles, blogs and ANNABEL COHEN COOKS DETROIT Facebook page have earned not just kudos, but awards as well. She was chosen as a Crain’s Detroit Business Magazine “Most Passionate Cooks” and has been profiled in: The Paper, HOUR Detroit, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Big Idea, Oakland Press, Royal Oak Tribune, The Detroit Jewish News, Style Magazine, “LIVE in the D,” among others. She won “Best Caterer” in 2015 in The Detroit Jewish News, and in 2014 in HOUR Detroit
magazine. She was voted “Best Brazilian Food” by Detroit Monthly magazine. Among countless television and radio appearances, Annabel was the deciding judge on the Travel Channel’s “Food Wars” for a Detroit episode pitting rivals Lafayette Coney Island against American Coney Island. Annabel is an author. She co-authored “Eating for Acid Reflux” in 2003 and in 2013 created all the recipes for 2014’s “Fast Diets for Dummies.” As a stylist, Annabel has assisted in countless photo shoots and tested and styled recipes for ads, articles and even a few books she didn’t write. She’s also a cooking instructor and writer/columnist with articles that focus on her favorite things — food, travel and lifestyle.
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Beef Bourguignon Makes 8 hearty servings.
1 tablespoon good olive oil 8 ounces good quality thick sliced bacon 4 pounds chuck beef cut into 1-inch cubes Salt and pepper to taste 2 cups sliced carrots 2 cups chopped onions 2 Tbsp. minced garlic 1 cup Cognac 1 bottle (750 ml.) good dry red wine such as Cote du Rhone or Pinot Noir 1 can (about 2 cups) beef broth or water 1 cup tomato sauce 1 tsp. fresh thyme leaves or 1/2 tsp. dried ½ cup flour 10 ounces pearl onions, peeled (frozen is fine) 2 pounds fresh mushrooms with stems, sliced 10 ounces (1 package) frozen peas, thawed 2 Tbsp. butter
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Heat the olive oil in a large Dutch oven or soup pot over medium-high heat. Add the bacon and cook over medium heat for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until browned. Remove bacon to a dish. Set aside. DO NOT CLEAN THE POT. Season Beef with salt and pepper. Brown the beef cubes in the hot bacon grease for 3-minutes, turning to brown on all sides. Add the carrots, onions, more salt to the pot and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the onions are lightly golden. Add the garlic and cook for 1 more minute. Add the Cognac, and ignite with fire (use a match or lighter) to burn off the alcohol. Don’t be afraid of the fire. Put the meat and bacon back into the pot with any collected juices. Add wine plus broth or water. Add the tomato sauce and thyme. Bring to a simmer, cover the pot with a lid cook for about 60-90 minutes, stirring often, or until the meat and vegetables are very tender. Sprinkle the flour over the stew and stir the stew (this will thicken the broth) and cook, stirring, until the sauce is thickened. Add the pearl onions and mushrooms and bring to a boil on top of the stove, then lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir in the butter and adjust salt and pepper to taste. Maybe made a day ahead and reheated.
Dilled Gravlax
Makes 12-20 or more servings. Some call this gravadlax instead, but either way, this salmon cooks by “curing” instead of heat and, though simple, is quite a delicacy. One 2 pound salmon fillet, with or without skin 1 cup kosher salt 1 cup brown sugar 2 cups fresh chopped dill Black pepper to taste Place salmon, skin side down, in a large glass or plastic dish with sides (If the salmon is too large for any of your dishes, you may cut it in half and lay them side by side or overlap them slightly). Combine sugar and salt in a medium bowl. Press this mixture over the top of the salmon. Arrange dill over the sugar and salt and sprinkle with pepper. Top the salmon directly with several sheets of plastic wrap (the wrap must be directly on the fish). Place a heavy object (such as 1-2 bricks or heavy cans of food) over the wrap and chill the salmon for least 24 and up to 72 hours. It will be ready – cured – in 24 hours, however. When ready to cut (up to a day before serving), remove the salmon from the dish (the sugar will have melted), wipe the top of the salmon to remove any extra syrup or sugar/salt. Place the gravlax on a clean cutting board and slice very thin on a sharp angle. If the salmon has skin, stop at the skin and slide the knife slightly to remove it from the skin. Place the cut gravlax on a serving dish and drizzle a little of the sugar syrup over. Arrange fresh dill over the salmon as a garnish and serve with sliced lemon and a little fresh ground pepper. You may arrange the gravlax on the platter a day ahead of time, chilled and wrapped well in plastic. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 85
Parsleyed New Potatoes Makes 6-8 servings.
2 pounds small new potatoes (any variety), halved if large, unpeeled 1 Tbsp. smooth Dijon mustard Âź cup extra-virgin olive oil
cup minced fresh Italian parsley
1 cup thinly sliced scallions, white and green parts Kosher salt and pepper to taste
Combine potatoes and water in a large saucepan filled with water. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce heat to simmer and cook the potatoes for about 15-minutes until just tender. Drain the potatoes and transfer to a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients and toss well. Serve immediately or keep warm in a 200Ëš oven (covered in foil).
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Simple Mâche Salad with Peas and Parsley Makes 4-8 servings, depending on the portions you serve. Mâche is also known as lamb’s lettuce. Its delicate leaves and stems resemble watercress, though the flavor is much milder. 10 mâche (lamb’s lettuce) 2 cups fresh chopped parsley 2 cups frozen peas, thawed or fresh, steamed 1/2 cup chopped chives Kosher salt to taste 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil 3 Tbsp. white balsamic vinegar Black ground pepper to taste Shaved Parmesan cheese, garnish (optional) Combine the mache, parsley, peas, and chives in a large bowl and toss well. Arrange the salad on 6-8 plates for a side salad as a large salad on a platter. Drizzle the oil and vinegar over the salad. Sprinkle the salt and pepper over and lay a few shavings of the cheese, if using, over the salad. Can be prepped the day before (keep all ingredients separate), and assembled just before serving. myauthenticlifemagazine.com 87
Lemon Pudding This is rich and lemony, so it’s best served in small quantities. 3 cups heavy whipping cream 1 cup granulated sugar Finely grated zest of 1 lemon ½ cup fresh lemon juice Fresh berries, garnish 88 | MY Magazine
In a medium saucepan over medium heat, stir together the cream, sugar and lemon zest. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a low boil and cook, whisking often, for 5 minutes. Add the lemon juice and cook, whisking for 5 minutes more. Allow to cool about 30-minutes. Pour the mixture into 6 champagne flutes or small wine glasses or dessert cups. Chill for up to 24 hours until ready to serve. Top with berries and serve.
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HAPPY Valentine’s Day