EYDISmagazine
FEBRUARY 2016
Joyful Living ~ Spiritually Focused ~ Earth Conscious
CLEAR OUT YOUR LIFE & MAKE SPACE FOR
SOMETHING NEW MANIFESTING WITH DIVINE GUIDANCE
CUT THE CRAVINGS!
STOP LOOKING FOR LOVE IN HEART SHAPED BOXES
I DON’T JOKE
ABOUT IMPROVISING
TAMARA GREEN
DISCOVER THE JOY OF SELF-LOVE
LIVE AN ULTRA-FIT LIFESTYLE IN 2016
Let’s increase our awareness wake up to empower and inspire the conscious community
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Joyful Living ~ Spiritually Focused ~ Earth Conscious
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Eydis “Goddess of the Island” and “Giver of Good Fortune and Gifts” An intuitive and imaginative woman who breathes charm, femininity and sensitivity. She embraces the concept of living her dreams and aspires to leave the world a better place. eydismedia.com
EYDISmedia Joyful Living ~ Spiritually Focused ~ Earth Conscious
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Production Manager • Jennifer Berner
Writer • Mary Meldrum
EYDISmagazine Joyful Living ~ Spiritually Focused ~ Earth Conscious
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Discover the Joy of Self-Love Tamara Green Written by Mary Meldrum
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c o n t e n t s
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life The Secret to a Successful New Beginning, Middle and Future
22
Talk to Tamara Relationship Expert
27
To Love, Honor & Cherish Myself As A Badass Woman
32
Inspiration, Perseverance & Faith Colleen McDonald 42
on the cover Tamera Green Discover the Joy of Self-Love I Don’t Joke About Improvising
Clear Out Your Life and Make Space for Something New! 28 12
24
Live the Ultra-Fit Lifestyle in 2016
36
Six Years Too Long Whitney McDonald
46
Discover Your Life Purpose
53
Grace
54
The Dream Experts
56
Why You Shouldn’t Use A Budget
62
Embracing Alternatives For Better Health And Wellness 74 What Are You Really Hungry For?
78
Manifesting with Divine Guidance
50
Creating Change
82
Cut the Cravings!
70
Catching Zzzs
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TAMARA GREEN
DISCOVER THE JOY OF SELF-LOVE
by Mary Meldrum
I
t is tragic when a person is matched up with circumstances so flagrantly oppositional to their true self that it drives them into isolation, depression, or self-hate. In the moment of pain from those events or relationships, it is difficult to appreciate or understand the higher purpose of them. Yet, when the wrong events collide with the right individual, tragedy can turn into miracle. Nobody embodies or comprehends that truth more than Tamara Green.
THE TRAUMA
It was just such a relationship—such circumstances—that befell Tamara Green as a young girl. She became the victim of child molestation from age eleven to seventeen. When nobody rises up to defend you, especially as a child, you tend to normalize and accept the abusive behavior. despite the deep scars and trauma that it leaves. “People who go through this type of trauma have a very high tolerance for emotional pain,” Tamara confides. “They don’t necessarily know when something is eydismedia.com 13
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wrong.” I suspect she is right about that, but that trauma can haunt a person for a lifetime. “I hated myself and was filled with shame.” shares Tamara. The change in behavior and attitude for Tamara at that formative time in her life was dramatic. Having always been a happy-go-lucky outgoing little girl, this somber, isolating, and brooding teen was a stark contrast. “I was a completely different girl. I didn’t talk to my friends anymore. I went as far away from everyone as I could possibly get during lunch break. I completely secluded myself for about a year. My friends were angry with me and I couldn’t explain it.” From about fifteen on, physical exertion became her focus and outlet. “I really dove into sports,” Tamara says. “I was on the track team, the rowing team, and I rode my bike fourteen miles a day. That was my release and my joy.” Students inexplicably sought her out for advice, even while in college before
she was a professional. Gifted with easing other’s pain, Tamara spoke words that they needed to hear. While she couldn’t always ease her own pain, she instinctively knew the right things to say to others; things she longed to hear, as well. When Tamara graduated from college, the working world did not allow her the time to throw herself into athletics anymore. She began to feel the selfloathing creeping back into her life. It never went away completely, but before, when she was exercising, she could hold those feelings at bay because her traumatic past and selfloathing was not her primary focus. That trauma had now returned, and consumed her.
THE TURNING POINT (LITERALLY)
“About six months after I graduated from college, I was driving alone on a steep mountain road in California. I decided that I was not going to turn my steering wheel to make the next hairpin turn. I hated myself so much that I decided I couldn’t go on.” She
goes on to explain, “When I got to the next turn, I took my hands off the steering wheel, and something—an angel or someone—took over my wheel and steered the car around that sharp bend safely.” This was a clear message for Tamara and a personal turning point. She realized that she was going to get down the mountain safely and she was going to take care of herself. “The very next day I got myself to a therapist. I got help immediately.” Tamara’s therapy went on for sixteen years. She heard all the messages that she needed to begin her healing, and she began piecing her self-esteem and confidence together. She also began to routinely utilize tools like meditation and yoga. I spoke with Tamara for some time, and it was obvious that the child molestation that sent her into an intense emotional tailspin at such a tender age became the very thing that sparked her to rise up and champion herself, and eventually others, as she climbed out of the
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darkness of being a victim. Her talent for helping others and her very apparent greatness stem from overcoming the very thing that hijacked her childhood and burned her self-esteem to the ground. Self-love has triumphed in Tamara’s life, and she has a gift that guides others to embrace the same. Eventually, Tamara decided to leave the corporate world and return to school and get her Masters degree in social work—the work that saved her life and she fell in love with. Her degrees include a Bachelors of Science (B.S.) in Public Administration from the University of Southern California (USC) Los Angeles, CA, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from Fordham University, New York. She did her postgraduate training at Ackerman Institute for Couples and Family Therapy, participating in their five-year program. Tamara Green is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in New York State. She has been a Certified Social Worker and has been a member of the National Association of Social Workers for since 1991. After working
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as a psychiatric social worker for the renowned New York Presbyterian Hospital, for approximately fifteen years, she is now a nationally recognized psychotherapist and life coach in private practice. With an extensive background and training in mental health, certified hypnotherapy, and belief’s management, Tamara applies effective techniques such as hypnosis, guided meditation, and experiential exercises to her client’s sessions. Although Tamara has a wall of credentials, it is very apparent that it is her gentle compassion, unique perspective, and intuition that really help her to transform her clients’ relationships with themselves and with their partners and sets her apart. She provides advice, guidance, tools, and rich emotional support, leading to loving relationships. Everyone wants a loving relationship filled with passion and curiosity that is also physically, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilling. Tamara helps
single women and men discover what they really want from a relationship and how to have an interesting, fun, and a lasting bond with an attentive partner. For Tamara, it is an honor to help established couples mend their differences and become empowered with each other while falling in love all over again. “Once I began seeing couples and individuals, I just loved, loved, loved it! I found it! This was my niche,” she shares enthusiastically.
BELIEFS MANAGEMENT
When perusing her website, I noticed that Tamara had completed a master’s level for personal development program in what is called Belief Management. This caught my eye since it is our beliefs that drive pretty much every aspect of our reality. From my perspective, managing one’s beliefs would have to take an incredible level of conscious discipline. So I had to ask her about it. “I have taken many courses for belief management,” Tamara explains. “When I am working with someone, say they
are single and want to be dating, I dive into the conclusions, judgments, and beliefs that frame their perspective and quietly and completely restrict them from accomplishing their goals and what they are actually capable of.” Tamara goes on to explain that once clients are aware of their own beliefs, they are tuned into their own guidance and wisdom and can be open to vast possibilities. “If you are operating from beliefs, even positive belief sometimes can be counterproductive, you are limiting yourself to what is possible.”
LOVE MENTOR®
Tamara was also trained as a Love Mentor® by author Diana Kirschner, PhD, who wrote the books Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love and Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor’s Guide to Lasting Love.
As Tamara explained, this was coaching for love, dating, and relationships. “It was amazing. Like a fish to water, I was drawn to this work and loved it. I was really good at it and became her number one mentor in no time,” Tamara shared.
MORE TAMARA
What was supposed to be a fortyfive-minute interview turned into an almost ninety-minute conversation with Tamara Green. While she is a qualified and credentialed professional, I experienced her as extraordinarily kind and sincerely interested in deeply connecting. She is also incredibly patient, supportive, and ready to listen—really listen— when someone speaks with her. She works with single women and couples, and the largest growing demographic in her practice is single men. In fact, according to Tamara, in
her practice, men were the ones who initiated couples’ therapy seventy percent of the time last year. “It is fascinating that men are coming out of the woodwork lately,” Tamara conveys. “It used to be women who would seek this kind of work. Men are the ones who are more and more starting the couples’ treatment, too. I am blown away.” She is also finishing writing a book. Look for it to be published sometime in 2016. In the meantime, I would recommend her Miracle Monday Meditation. It is free and anyone can sign up to participate by entering your information online at her website. For more opportunities to connect with Tamara Green and learn more about her, you can visit her website www.tamaragreen.me.
THE REWARD
My final question to Tamara was about her motivation around her work. When asked about what benefits and rewards Tamara receives from her work after all these years of helping others, she tells me that every time she is working with someone or with couples, whether it is healing energy work or therapy, Tamara feels that she is healing as well. “All hearts are connected, so it makes sense that when another person is discovering self-love, I am directly benefiting from that healing,” she revealed. “I heal too.”
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FOR MORE INFORMATION AND WAYS TO HELP GO TO STCLAIRBUTTERFLYFOUNDATION.ORG
C.H.A.N.G.E. Creating Hope and Awareness and Nurturing Growth through Empowerment The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation was founded to inspire a movement of C.H.A.N.G.E. by providing all children and youths with the tools to overcome any adversity and help them to realize their full potential to soar! Based in Oakland County Michigan, this nonprofit organization offers: Community Outreach Programs Creative Art Programs Scholarship Programs Legislative Initiatives Your donation goes directly to helping kids find their voice The St. Clair Butterfly Foundation has successfully helped to change laws in several states to better protect children.
Each year 1-in-4 girls and 1-in-6 boys are victims of abuse. Let’s help these children find their voice. Founded in 2007 by Chip and Lisa St. Clair, and based on his bestselling memoir, The Butterfly Garden, the St. Clair Butterfly Foundation utilizes the power of creative arts, literature, and overall well-being to impact the lives of children facing adversity. Listen to Chip and Lisa’s radio show: The Divine Frequency: Turning Your Passion Into Purpose Tuesday at 9:30 am Eastern Time on Empower Radio
Your donation gives the greatest gift to a child! It shows that they are loved and that they deserve to be heard.
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Eydis Living
Living your truth
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The Secret to a Successful New Beginning Middle and Future by Ann Leach
I
was doing a holiday return and overheard a young girl begging her mother for a toy. My first thought was “Gee kid, didn’t you just get a bunch of them a few days ago?” but then something truly refreshing and magical happened. Her mother said, “No, not today. And besides, I have to honor my word.” I scared the woman to death as I jumped out from behind the shelf unit to congratulate her on standing firm. “You’ve just given your daughter a huge gift,” I said. “It’s something she won’t 22 | Eydis Magazine
appreciate for another twenty years, but congratulations for taking a stand.” She laughed and said, “It isn’t always easy to do, but thank you for noticing.” With this dawning of a new year, a new month, and this beautiful new magazine, plus your own resolutions, goals, and dreams, I have come to the conclusion that the only real way to achieve them all is to do this whole honoring your word thing. And my anonymous shopping pal is right: it’s not always easy.
We say we want to make more money but we spend night after night on the couch watching television instead of getting a part-time job, starting a home business on the side, or being so bold as to ask the boss for a raise. We claim a desire for a thinner version of ourselves, yet we skip days at the gym or eat “just one bite” and assure ourselves that we can start again on Monday. We say we want to travel more but we never call the airline, book a hotel, or make the travel budget. Instead, we just complain about how there’s nothing to do around here.
with another friend at a conference that I was also attending. We met waiting in line at the hotel restaurant, but she had never worked with me or observed me on the job. What? I’d rather have five real endorsements than fifty fake ones. Worse, I am left to question this woman’s character when it might come to other business interactions. The bottom line is that honoring our word is about having integrity. Knowing our thoughts, actions, and intentions are in alignment for our highest good, we can confidently move ahead when we speak our truth, honor our word, and do what we say we will do. What does that look like for you in 2016? What area of focus most seeks your attention and could use some love in this month of Valentine’s day, and what small step can you take in the next thirty days to assure that you honor your commitment to yourself, your body, and your spirit? Who will support you in taking these steps and be there as your shifts take place? I encourage you to journal your responses to those questions, meditate on one each day, and be willing to hear the spirit’s will for your life, as you honor your word to yourself, your customers and co-workers, your family, and your community. We say we want to express our true spirit more, but we keep hiding behind old beliefs, family stories, or society’s “should dos.” You get my point. If we’re not honoring our word and taking the action steps to do what we said we’d do to have what we say we want, it doesn’t mean much. An e-mail last week had me questioning the word of a LinkedIn contact. Someone I don’t know had endorsed me via this social media platform for coaching, speaking, and writing. I didn’t
recall any connection with her. I reached out to inquire about how she knew me. What presentation had she attended? Had she hired me years ago for some freelance writing? She said that she had met me “awhile ago” when she was
So as we greet this new year and month that holds so much possibility, let’s remember the sacredness of our word and the privilege we have of sharing it; rest in the assurance that all things work together for our good.
Ann is the founder of Life Preservers Grief Support where she coaches women moving through loss and change after a life-altering event. She resides in Joplin, MO where she also runs the Creative Cottage, a historic home and healing retreat space for people seeking respite from life’s storms. To learn more about Ann, visit lifepreserversgriefsupport.com eydismedia.com | 23
I Don’t Joke About Improvising by Gina Trimarco
“You do improv? Tell me a joke,” is something I’ve often heard from random people, who don’t know me well, and honestly, it drives me crazy. It’s slightly frustrating because many people instantly equate “improv” with stand-up comedy or comedy in general. Hi, I’m Gina and I’m an improviser; so is everyone in this world. I’m just one of the few who makes a living out of it, and it was kind of an accident. I guess you could say that I improvised my way into making money from improvising. I’m from Chicago, land of improv and home of Second City, where many actors got their start in stardom. Second City is a breeding ground for those hoping to be discovered by
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Lorne Michaels, the Executive Producer of Saturday Night Live. I was one of those star struck hopefuls back in my 20s. Growing up in Chicago, it’s almost a birthright to take classes at Second City. I spent my teen years going to shows there. In my sophomore year of college I signed up for a class and the improv bug bit me hard. Some of you may be wondering, “What is this improv thing you speak of?” That itself is still a challenge for the industry. I used to say, “Have you seen the show ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’ They are improvising everything on the show.” In the past few years, I’ve tried to avoid explaining improv that way because it can hurt the corporate side of my business, which I’ll explain in a bit.
business. We improvise in sales conversations. Emergency responders improvise in the moment to save lives. We improvise to resolve unexpected conflicts. We improvise to get results in some form in our lives.
Most people understand the definition of improvising— making things up or creating things in the moment without a script or plan. We all improvise all the time. Even perfectly laid out plans can go awry and one will need to improvise and use the resources that are at hand. To improvise successfully is to realize that success always occurs when one improvises because there is no script or rules. Think about how many times you had to “go off script” today and not follow your plan. You probably survived at minimum and surprised yourself because of your resourcefulness. In the entertainment world, we improvise on stage to create comedy, dramas, dance, and music. We don’t “do improve.” We improvise to do other things. This always applies in
People say “I could never do what you do though. To think so quickly on your feet and create in the moment.” Again, this is false. The art of improvising comes down to activating your innate skills to actively listen, empathize, respond, and collaborate. We are neurologically wired for it (think of the fight or flight instinct—those cavemen had to improvise when a dinosaur showed up unexpectedly). Improvising is a brain thing and, since our brain is a muscle, we simply have to exercise that muscle to be better improvisers. What this really means is that we need to practice improvising, as crazy as that sounds. To be a great improviser is a practice of getting centered, being in the moment, listening, breathing through challenges, and observing. The more we practice, the better we get. And I can talk the talk and walk the walk on this because I teach people how to practice this skill. What started out for me as my quest to be a celebrity turned into a business showing others how to use this skill personally and professionally. It works for anyone who is willing to commit to the practice. I’ve watched
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some of the most introverted and analytical people come out of their shells in my improv classes and create better lives and businesses. Some of them even grew so confident that they auditioned to become performers at my theater!
adapt to. My first thought after my first few months, take an improv class fast! I knew that a refresher class would re-adjust my attitude, until I quickly discovered that improv didn’t exist in Myrtle Beach, SC. This depressed me even more.
As I mentioned earlier, I started taking improv classes in college and quickly decided that I didn’t want to live as a starving artist. I tried it for a little while, going on auditions and trying to get an agent but I couldn’t fully commit to it. I didn’t want it bad enough. And since my family struggled so much financially when I was growing up, I was determined to not struggle anymore. But I didn’t give up on living an improvised life. It shaped my entire life moving forward. Another thing we learn in improv is to be open to and give ideas a chance to bloom, even if we don’t agree with those ideas (and that includes our own ideas). Think about this, how often do you put down your own ideas, dreams, and goals (and self-sabotage)? It’s a philosophy of “Yes, and” versus “Yes, but.” I have spent basically my whole life being open to opportunities, even when I was doubtful or fearful. And because of that, everything I’ve strived for I’ve achieved.
And then someone asked, “Why don’t you start and teach your own class and teach the community about improv?” My inside voice said, “No way. I don’t want to teach. I’m already a boss all day.” My “yes, and” voice said, “Stop crying and accept this idea.” There are a lot of details about the journey and how I built these businesses of mine. For now, (and to summarize it in this already lengthy piece) I’ll share with you that seven years later I now own an improv theater company (Carolina Improv Company) and a training and consulting company (Gina & Company Consulting). During the October 2008 financial crash, and one week before I taught my first class, I got fired from my job and never looked back. Our theater ranks as #1 on TripAdvisor for Nightlife Attractions and offers classes and shows. Our training company provides improv-based sales, customer service, and leadership training to businesses as well as business coaching for entrepreneurs.
Through the years (twenty plus), I continued to take refresher improv classes because, as I mentioned earlier, it’s a practice. Practicing improv keeps me positive, motivated, and invigorated. When I was offered a job in South Carolina in 2007 I did a “yes, and,” even though I was afraid of making such a big move for so many reasons. I quickly learned there was much to be afraid of! The adjustment was challenging and depressing. I found myself becoming a horrible leader and boss because I was so drained from my job and a new culture to
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Get out there and improvise your life! You won’t regret it.
Gina Trimarco owns and operates Gina & Company Consulting, a business training, coaching and consulting firm, in addition to Carolina Improv Company, an improv comedy theater and school, located inside in Myrtle Beach, SC. For more information visit GinaAndCompany.com.
Talk to Tamara Tamara, the relationship whisperer, is like a walking instruction manual for all of your love, dating. and relationship questions. Ask her your burning questions and she’ll guide you in the direction that is right for you. To ask your questions go to eydismedia.com’s home page and click on Tamara’s picture, under our “Let’s Talk” section.
By Tamara Green you are feeling stuck because you are trying to ignore your own inner wisdom to leave. If you stay, then you are out of integrity to yourself and to him. In fact, you’d be holding both of you back from the future partners with whom you are meant to be. And do you really think that he and his family would want you to stay if you feel that you are sacrificing yourself? I doubt it.
Do I Stay or Do I Go? TAMARA’S QUOTE OF THE MONTH “Whatever is not in your highest good is also not in the highest good of others.” —Tamara Green, LCSW
Dear Tamara, I’m at a place in my life where I need to make a very big decision. For the last five years, I’ve known that my partner is not right for me romantically. However, I believe that it would crush him if I leave the relationship. I love him dearly, but I’m not in love with him. It feels easiest for me to stay, but I feel like I’m sacrificing myself if I do. However, we have a very nice time together. I also love his family. I’m closer to them than my own parents and siblings. I would miss him and his family terribly if I leave. Please help me with my dilemma.
Be brave and honest by telling him how you feel. Let him know about your dilemma. Set yourself (and him) free by saying goodbye. It’s usually the scariest things we do in life that create the most personal growth and freedom. I know you’ll do great and be fine. Good luck and please let us know how that goes. Lovingly, Tamara
Dear Stuck,
Elle Magazine dubs Tamara Green, LCSW “The Soul-centered Love Expert.” She is an author, speaker and trainer, helping thousands of people to navigate the waters of love, dating and relationships – all while falling madly in love with themselves in the process. Trained as a Love Mentor®, Individual and Couples Psychotherapist, Meditation Practitioner and Hypnotherapist, Tamara’s coaching is highly effective as she combines her many years of professional training with her gifts as an energy healer, intuitive and seer. As a result, Tamara creates an exciting catalyst for deep emotional healing, giving her clients greater success in life and love. She has devoted her life to helping women rise out of pain and fear so they can finally experience the long lasting and loving relationship of their dreams. As well as working 1-on1, Tamara offers free weekly meditation audios that take you on a journey of love with ease and joy.
It’s time to go. You are not doing yourself (or him) any favors by staying in this relationship. It’s clear that
Join Tamara’s community at tamaragreen.me Facebook facebook.com/TGreenLoveExpert youtube: youtube.com/channel/UC9MqTnZEJYNEpKnwrjsZ40A
Stuck
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Clear Out Your Life and Make Space for Something New! by Dr. Kate Siner
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I
’m not really one for New Year’s resolutions. Don’t get me wrong; I love setting and achieving goals. Yet, I think that creating positive change in our lives needs to happen the whole year through. This New Year, however, I decided it was time to clear unnecessary things out of my life. I cleaned closets, rearranged my kitchen, and donated stuff to the Salvation Army. It felt great.
2. UNFOCUSED Do you space out while reading a book? Or are you unable to complete an essential task? If so, perhaps you need to pay attention to what you’re not doing. You might have difficulty focusing on a task because you’re not attending to other parts of your life.
The truth is that when you clear things out of your life, you make room for new things to come in! New friends, new opportunities, new passions, and new circumstances add vivacity and momentum to your life.
It’s easy to get caught up in our responsibilities to others, so much so that we often forget that it’s important to make time to let lose or be by ourselves. So my question to you is, have you recently done something you love to do? If not, give it a try. Doing something you love will balance out your life and increase your focus.
If you don’t clear out the debris collecting in your home, your body, or your relationships, your life can get pretty bogged down. Sometimes, it’s easy to get rid of the stuff that clutters your life. For example, you probably can throw out the junk mail piled up on your desk without feeling a pang of loss, yet what about the things that have greater sentimental value? Or the situations to which you feel a sense of responsibility?
3. SLEEPY Most of the time, sleepy is really just bored. If you’re feeling sleepy, it’s time to freshen things up! Think about how you can engage whatever bores you to tears. Ask yourself, “Why am I so bored?” or “What is it about this task that makes me yawn?” Or, even better, “What does this situation lack that might intrigue me?” If you can’t find a fresh way of connecting to what you’re doing, let it go.
Your emotions are clues to help you decipher what needs to go. The great thing is that once you start tuning into your emotions you’ll be able to readily cut out what doesn’t work for your life.
4. OVERWHELMED Do you have too much to do? Are you over-stimulated by your life? When you’re overwhelmed, you experience your life as too much to handle or even chaotic. Even if you’ve got a lot of great things happening all at once, when your life is over-flowing with activity it becomes a problem. In this situation, ask yourself what you can weed out of your life so that you feel less overwhelmed and more at peace on a daily basis.
Here are the four primary emotions that can really clue us into the fact that it’s time to make space for something new. 1. GRUMPY Do you arrive to work already feeling frustrated? Does the idea of answering a friend’s call make you grumble like a crotchety ole’ geezer? When you’re healthy you’re also happy. So, grumpiness is a sign that you’re not feeling good about what’s happening in some part of your life. When you feel this way, check in with yourself to decide if you need to let go of what’s making you unhappy or if a change of perspective is in order.
Dr Kate Siner is an Award-Winning Entrepreneurial and Personal Development mentor, Speaker, Author and Radio Show Host. Kate has a PhD in Psychology, and years of both clinical and coaching experience. Her passion is to help people move past whatever holds them back so that they may embrace all they can be.
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Self-Growth
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To Love Honor & Cherish Myself
As A Badass Woman by Mariposa Fernandez
I
married myself in a public ceremony when I was thirty. It took place at BAAD!, The Bronx Academy of Art and Dance, a fitting place to tie the knot because I identify as a badass woman. In marrying myself, my objective was to be wildly innovative and defiant. Instead of bridesmaids, I had twenty-one warrior goddesses, and my twin sister, was the Goddess of Honor. I told them to adorn themselves as they wished. My goddesses were an array of feminine power and beauty, in a rainbow of solid and bright colors, and patterned fabrics: bright yellow, fire red, sunburst orange, white, and an ocean of lavender, purple, and blue. They carried sunflowers, carnations, wildflowers, orchids, and roses. They each received a hematite ring for grounding and courage. They led the way, dancing to the music of live drummers.
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I invited about 100 guests and instructed anyone (female or male) who cared to vow along with me, to love, honor, and cherish themselves, to come to my wedding (to myself), and to come wearing white. I opted to keep some traditions, like serving a threelayered Valencia cake (with just the bride on top), danced with my father to Natalie King Cole and Nat King Cole’s father-daughter rendition of Unforgettable, and I wore something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, which was actually a beaded necklace made by Kenyan women given to me by Eve Ensler, author of the Vagina Monologues. In attendance were my family, close friends, local artists, a few well-known poets, Willie Perdomo and Pedro Pietri, and celebrities including Rosie Perez, who a wore a white halter top outfit. She brought me two dozen white roses and gave me a beautiful incense holder I still have. I wasn’t trying to mock monogamy or the promise between two people to love and care for each other. My parents were married for fifty-seven years, and I believe that if you can create a love strong enough to last a lifetime, you’re very blessed. But I won’t deny that marrying myself was a feminist act. Of course I grew up watching Disney fairytales, and I rejoiced in rejecting the entire patriarchal institution of taking a husband. I was using performance art and ceremony to publicly reject the idea that I needed a partner to take care of me or that I need a mate in the form of a husband to legitimize me, to demonstrate that I was valued, or to be respectable. I married myself to reject the notion of being an old maid or “una jamona,” the Spanish word for spinster. Marrying myself didn’t mean I wanted to be alone for the rest of my life. Marrying myself didn’t mean I didn’t want a life partner. Marrying myself didn’t mean I didn’t necessarily want a husband or that there’s anything wrong with that, even though the Old Norse meaning of the word husband is “master of the house,” (no thanks, I’ll pass). The point is that even though, at the present moment (of writing this essay), I’m legally single, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be married to a life partner. Marrying myself was an act of self-love and self-affirmation. It’s been said that love is not a feeling but an action. Marrying myself publicly was the action I needed to take at the time to declare my life as “enough,” and to celebrate my life and all of the people in it. As the saying goes, if you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else. You also can’t receive love. Marrying myself was an exercise in loving myself, in declaring I loved myself and was enough for myself. I had to deal with obnoxious comments from some sexist men, such as: “So how was your honeymoon?” and “How’s it goin? Have you divorced yourself yet?” Over time, these comments are few and far apart. Since 2001, when I married myself, I’ve heard of people self-committing in what’s defined on Wikipedia as self-marriage. On social media, I’ve learned of women who’ve gone so far as to have huge, expensive $20,000 weddings with limos and the whole shebang. I wasn’t interested in that and, of course,
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it’s an individual thing. If you want to marry yourself, go for it but don’t put yourself in debt to prove a point. If you’re inspired by the idea of creating a ceremony affirming self-love, do what inspires you. If you’re not the creative type and don’t have a clue on how to go about it, there are articles and even books on the topic. This didn’t exist when I married myself. One excellent article I’ve come across is Marry Yourself: Creating Sacred Vows for Self-Love by Tarra Christoff. In pop culture, self-marriage has been seen on TV in shows like Sex and the City, Glee, and Jam, with even a man marrying himself (which somehow doesn’t seem very revolutionary to me). But no matter how popular self-marriage gets, I doubt the state will allow people to use it as a tax benefit. The institution of marriage is what it is, and there’s privilege that comes along with it. People have asked me if my marriage to myself is legal, meaning, did I pay for a marriage license or go to a Justice of the Peace and the answer is no. I did not and do not seek permission and did not need approval or validation from the government or a church. Marrying myself was an act of self-validation. Life’s a journey. Ceremonies are important, but ceremonies are just one moment in time. My wedding to myself was no different. In spite of marrying myself, I continued to face obstacles and times when accepting and loving myself was a struggle. Regarding romance, I struggled with vicious cycles of loneliness, alternating between long stretches of not dating at all and dating partners who weren’t good for me. Eventually, I reached the point of giving up, almost entirely. But a few years ago, I found Tommy, an old friend who I’d lost touch with and then suddenly there he was. On Facebook! We met back in the 80s when we were fourteen years old, in the Bronx, awkwardly partnered up at my friend Camille’s sweet sixteen. Camille happened to be Tommy’s cousin. We liked each other and dated and it got as serious as it can get at that age. Eventually we broke up but we always stayed friends and kept in touch until we were in our late 20s. I always wondered what happened to Tommy. It was either destiny or the advent of social media that had us cross paths again. I’m happy and grateful for both. It’s been more than three years since we’ve been together in a relationship that’s romantic and tender and uniquely ours. I’ll keep you posted on the wedding plans. Let’s see if he proposes. What’s most important is: I ain’t waitin’ for no proposal. I love myself, accept myself, and celebrate myself and my life. Tommy, as the man in my life, gets to be with an amazing woman who truly digs herself. And that’s a gift! And he recognizes that and tells me so. As I get older, I grow to love myself and appreciate my life and the people in it more and more. I am so happy that I did it! I tied the knot! I married myself! I got to dance with father, who is now 83 years old, and has trouble walking and who,
thankfully, is still around to laugh with me at the memories of my big day. My family thought it was a little weird at the time, but they went along with it. I also got to dance with my mother, who passed away five years ago. It makes it even more special to know I created wonderful memories that she was a part of. I have no regrets. To this day, people are still talking about my wedding. There are some dreams in life that can pass us right by, if we let them, and dreams we can make happen. There are some things beyond our control, and then there are choices we make. Choosing to love yourself and also choosing to love another are choices you can make, along with actions you can take, to make your dreams come true. Whether, my man proposes to me or not, I’m celebrating my fifteenth wedding anniversary of my marriage to myself publicly. I’m throwing a big party this year! And no matter what happens, I choose. I choose to be courageous. I choose to defy the status quo. I choose to love myself and to love life. I choose to be wild, innovative, and defiant. I choose to love, honor, and cherish myself. And, I choose to be a badass woman. Forever, baby! Maria Teresa “Mariposa” Fernández is an award winning poet, writer, educator and activist. Her poetry has been featured on the HBO Latino’s, Habla Ya!, the critically acclaimed HBO documentary, Americanos: Latino Life in the US, as well as BET and PBS. Inspired by women’s issues, Afro-Latino identity, race, class and social justice issues and healing, Mariposa’s work has been published in The Norton Anthology of Latino Literature, Breaking Ground: Puerto Rican Women Writers in NYC 1980 – 2012 and others. A proud Puerto Rican women from the Bronx, Mariposa is a member of the New York City Latina Writers Group and a graduate of New York University. In addition to teaching creative writing, Mariposa also coaches people in the art of storytelling and public speaking, through experiential workshops and her private coaching practice, You Can Rock the Mic! She believes that living life to the fullest begins with the freedom of self-expression.
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Live the Ultra-Fit Lifestyle in 2016 by Rachel Tipton
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ere you are again. You have made the decision to improve your health. You have been here before, but this time you truly want to succeed. You are afraid you might fail again. You have started many times before and given up for one reason or another. You are searching for a way to do things differently this time. Here are the four simple steps to finally getting the results you have always dreamed about:
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1. Find Your Why
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2. Make a Plan
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3. Get Your Plan Rocking
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4. Stick with It
Find Your Why. The most important factor to success in your fitness goals is your why. Why are you here? What made you decide to start your fitness journey? What made you want to take it to the next level? When most people decide they want to lose weight, eat healthier, or make some other change in their health and wellness, it is a generalized statement or idea:
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“I want to lose weight this year.”
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“I am going to start eating better.”
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“I really need to DO something.”
If it does not go any further than these broad statements, no change can occur. It is way too blurry. Take out a pen and paper, set a timer for five minutes, and start writing down every wild and crazy dream and goal you can think of, no matter how far fetched. Be specific and write out every detail you can come up with. Dig deep to figure out what exactly is motivation you to make a difference this time. Is your marriage crumbling because you don’t feel good about yourself? Did your doctor give you an ultimatum? Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?
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Write down how you will feel and what your life will look like once you have achieved your goal. When you are finished, you will have gone from “I want to lose weight” to a much clearer picture, such as: “When I get back down to a size 10, I can fit into my favorite red dress and go dancing with my husband.” It is important that you and your why have an emotional attachment. The more powerful and emotionally
goals attainable and realistic so that you are not setting yourself up for failure. Setting a goal to run a marathon next month when you haven’t worked out for 5 years is a bad idea. Setting a goal to train for a marathon that is happening in 9 months; that is more realistic and certainly attainable. Finally, set a time limit on your goal. Find a specific date or upcoming event to focus on. It’s like that light at the end of the tunnel. A deadline keeps you on track. And, it gives you a celebration day!
Make a Plan. Once you have a very specific goal, you simply have to figure out how to get there. You may have heard of SMART goals. SMART is an acronym for:
Specific; Measureable; Attainable; Realistic; Timely charged you are by your goal, the easier it will be to get through the tough times. And in a fitness journey, as in every life journey, the going always gets tough at some point. Be as specific about your destination as possible: I want to get back into a size 12, rather than I want to lose weight. Measureable means that there is some sort of number attached so that progress can be measured. I personally hate the scale and have observed that it makes people unhappy and obsessed. Body measurements, clothing size, or even a distance goal for running are much better indicators than scale weight. Make your
It has been proven time and again throughout history that clearly defined goals, written down, create a much higher success rate. So, write down your goal. Post it in a place in clear sight of your desk or somewhere you will see it often. Once you have a specific goal, plan out the details of how you will get there. Joining a gym and hopping on the treadmill does not have to be your only option. Perhaps a group fitness class sounds like fun. Join a running club. Invest in a DVD home fitness program. Hire a personal trainer and get a customized program. The possibilities are endless; just be sure that the option you choose is one you will stick to until you reach your goal. Treat your fitness plan and yourself as an important appointment you cannot cancel. You would not cancel a meeting with a milliondollar client, would you? No way. Well, guess what? YOU are the million-dollar client! Find a time slot on your
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daily and weekly calendar that you can keep consistent. Schedule in your workouts and make a commitment to yourself that you will not let anything compromise your workout. Get Your Plan Rocking! You have a plan and a start date. You have your gym membership in place, your schedule set up with your trainer, or your space set up at home to work out. You are ready to rock! There is always an adjustment period when you begin a new fitness program. Your body is not use to the movements. You should expect to be sore at first. You may experience DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness) twenty-four to seventytwo hours after strenuous exercise. If you have not done any exercise in quite a while, try to pace yourself. Remember that real results happen with consistency over time. If you are gun-ho out of the gate, and push yourself too hard, you may be too sore to stay consistent. Or worse, you could injure yourself. Listen to your body and try to focus on quality of movement at first. There are a few ways to deal with soreness. Most importantly, be sure to hydrate. Drink half of your body weight in
Isn’t a bit of soreness and extra effort worth it to change yourself from the person you are unsatisfied with to the person you know you can become? Do you really want to feel that twinge of guilt and remorse that awaits you if you abandon your course? Consistency is a huge factor. Muscles are smart. Muscles remember. But they need to be taught over and over with consistency, so a new habit is formed.
ounces each day. Drink extra water when you start working out because you lose water when you sweat. It may seem like a lot of water at first, but once you are used to that much water, you will feel a lot better overall. Many times when we feel hungry, we might actually be thirsty. Get in the habit of carrying water with you everywhere you go, sipping on it continuously throughout the day. Stick with it! How many times have you started a fitness program with great gusto, only to fizzle out after a few weeks or even a few days? Don’t feel ashamed; it happens to us all. You must expect setbacks. When you feel yourself losing interest or losing heart, go back to your why. Why did you start this journey? What do you want to feel like when you reach your goal?
This new path to fitness, wellness, and a healthier lifestyle will be difficult. But you must have found difficulty in your life with how it was before, or you never would have started on this new journey! You will be uncomfortable, sore, sweaty, and sometimes a bit worn out. But I promise you, you will feel better and better with consistent effort. Energy builds energy! The changes that occur in your life just because you add a new fitness routine will be profound. You will be more organized with your time. You will be more aware of what you are putting into your body. People will start to notice and give you compliments. You will feel more confident. You will be happier. You CAN do this. No matter what your history, limitations, or health issues, you can overcome anything if you set your mind to it. So, stick with it! Consistent effort over time will lead to big results, the fitness results, you have always wanted.
Rachel Ayers Tipton was born in the small town of Martinsville, Virginia. She fell in love with dance after her first class at age 5, then went on to pursue a career in the dance world, performing on stage, film, and TV all over the U.S. and Canada. Of course, dance and fitness go hand-in-hand, and Rachel almost always kept a job in a gym somewhere to compliment her performance schedule. A shift gradually happened and now fitness is her primary pursuit, with only occasional performances. Rachel now resides in Pawleys Island, SC. Helping people to overcome their personal obstacles in order to reach their full potential in achieving their health and fitness goals is her true passion. She incorporates her artistic past into her training; she teaches stretching, Yoga, and Pilates to enhance more traditional strength and cardio programs. Most recently, Rachel opened the very first aerial fitness on the Grand Strand in Myrtle Beach. The #UltraFitLifestyle by Rachel Tipton can be sculpted to any fitness level, from beginner to high performance athlete. Interested parties can contact her at 843-424-0995 or ultrafitdancer@gmail.com for local one-on-one training or virtual coaching anywhere YOU are! Find out more information at UltraFitLifestyle.com eydismedia.com 39
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Colleen McDonald
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Inspiration, Perseverance, & Faith
by Mary Meldrum Photography by Carrie Schalter
“Your dad would be so proud of you.”
Colleen McDonald’s accountant shared that sentiment with her recently. Her eyes welled up with tears as she repeated it to me. “He would be proud,” she smiled. “I can’t believe it. We finally came full circle and won. We did it,” she said, misty and nearly weeping. “I haven’t really broken down yet.” Indeed, Colleen McDonald has the energy of three people, and a business that demands it. She has been hard at work her entire life, but the last six years have truly tested her faith, strength, and resolve. Working every job in the family business growing up, from sales to management, Colleen McDonald, daughter of Walt Norris, is a secondgeneration dealer. After thirty years, all three their franchises, Chrysler, Dodge and GM, were stripped from the family and closed on June 9, 2009. The detail and depth of the entire remarkable story that Colleen shared with me is difficult to convey in this short space. However, it is my hope that her perseverance and faith are evident and inspirational. When the U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear Fiat Chrysler’s case in June
2015, the battle to win back one of her family’s dealerships was over. That battle began in 2009 following the collapse and bailout of the U.S. automakers. Since that historical win, at the time of this interview in early December, Livonia Chrysler Jeep on Plymouth Road in Livonia only had its doors open a handful of days. Few in the Detroit area can forget when GM and Chrysler received bailout money and proceeded to shut down hundreds of dealerships per their agreement with the government. They generated a list of underperforming dealerships that were to be closed.
all her staff go, and close down operations in all three locations.
June 9th, 2009 arrived and all three of Colleen McDonald’s dealerships shut their doors, along with 786 other Chrysler dealerships and approximately 1,200 GM dealerships. The enormous injustice of the situation was quickly followed by a scope of personal human tragedy that touched thousands of lives. The financial and emotional toll this took on families and businesses dependent on the industry was catastrophic.
The business accolades for McDonald’s dealerships are stunning. With literally binders full of awards for being a top performing dealership over the years, Colleen McDonald and her team did not fit any of the criteria used to decide which dealers were to be saved and which were to be closed. Despite outstanding sales performances and countless customer service awards, all three of Colleen McDonald’s Chrysler, Dodge and GM dealership franchises were scheduled for closing. She had 26 days to sell off her entire inventory of cars and parts—hundreds of thousands of dollars’ worth—let
David and Colleen McDonald
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In a school paper written October of 2015, Whitney McDonald, one of Colleen’s two daughters —just 18 years old at the time—summed up the dread and uncertainty, “My whole family and world turned upside down.” She went on to describe, “Seeing my Mom’s interviews on the news and listening to my Dad’s cracking voice on the radio is really something I will never forget.” Whitney shared her family’s anxiety; “We didn’t know if our parents would get a divorce over this, or if we would be able to stay in our home, or what the future held.” She went on, “I remember hearing my Mom cry in her room. I remember my Dad didn’t sleep for months. I heard my Mom having panic attacks. She was scared. It was a completely overwhelming whirlwind.”
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
–Nelson Mandela
Despite her own despair and fear, it did not take McDonald long to rise up on behalf of her family, employees, customers, and other dealers. Outspoken, sharp, and fiery—and energized by the injustice of the situation—it is easy to see how Colleen became the voice for the dealers for the next several years. “My husband and I were very involved in the lobbying process with regard to the arbitration,” Colleen explains. “We went to Washington in early 2009, and I was one of three dealers that testified on behalf of the 789 Chrysler dealers that were terminated. Talk about scary.” The tenacious and gritty McDonald came off the witness stand visibly shaking. Arbitration law 747 was passed allowing dealers to go to federally bound arbitration and tell their story. Colleen and David McDonald wasted no time in fighting for the right to reopen two of their three dealerships. “Going to Washington was heartbreaking,” Colleen conveys. “A lot of these dealers, these men, who came from nothing, worked hard and grew their family dealership business from scratch. I am second generation following my father. Some of these men were third and fourth generation car dealers and had been in business for a hundred years.” The fallout for all the dealers and those close to them went on for months and years following the loss of their businesses. “Some of these men won arbitration and some lost. Some ended up getting a divorce and others committed suicide,” shares Colleen. “It was incredibly sad.”
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In 2010, McDonald won her arbitration for the Livonia Chrysler Jeep dealership location, but lost for the other. It seemed that she would be reopening their one remaining dealership. But that was just the beginning of another protracted and expensive court battle that dragged out in subsequent appeals by Chrysler Group for another five years. Conclusive victory for McDonald arrived when the final appeal was rejected by the U.S. Supreme Court late this past summer.
Many people don’t understand everything that Colleen and other dealers have been through. “They ask ‘When is the Dodge store opening?’ or ‘When is the Chevy store opening?’ and I have to tell them it’s not,” she says. “They ask if we got our money back for our attorney fees. No, we didn’t. All we won through arbitration was the right to reopen our franchise. That was it. We knew we were not getting reimbursed for any of our efforts.”
At the end of six years, with a total cost in legal services of over one million dollars, Colleen McDonald finally won the right to open the doors of one of her dealerships.
The one thing that has remained paramount for Colleen and her family throughout the ordeal of losing three and winning back one of the family’s franchises, has been their rock solid faith. “It wasn’t easy. I could go from suicidal to homicidal on any given day,” quips Colleen.
When asked about her current relationship with Chrysler, Colleen stated that once Livonia Chrysler Jeep reopened, their relationship with Chrysler was solid. “It’s good. Aside from one little glitch, once we started dealing with the business center, they have been phenomenal. They just want us to open and start selling cars. Most of the people that we used to deal with are not there anymore. It is a whole new crew.” McDonald’s Livonia Chrysler Jeep showroom has undergone a transformational change. The floors, walls, and floor plan have been renovated for this beautiful new showroom. That is not the only change. Familiar customers are returning, and the majority of their original managers have returned to work for the McDonalds. People are learning that they are open, phones are ringing; the place is shining and humming. “Just thirty days ago you would not believe that we would be ready to open,” laughs Colleen. “We were all painting walls and I was down on the floor laying the new carpeting myself. We saved a lot of money by doing a lot by ourselves. There is a lot of sweat equity in this. It’s a family thing.”
After the last six incredibly difficult years, when asked what advice she would give others, Colleen McDonald is quick to reply, “Never give up and trust in the Lord.” She resolutely proclaims, “Even after all that we have been through, I became stronger. The Lord has a plan, even though it might not be your plan.”
“This has taught me not to take things for granted. My family is healthy and our relationships are intact. When something is taken away from you and then you win it back, it is a gift. I also feel vindicated. My husband, Dave, and I are here every day. We work side by side with our employees.” Ready to put it all behind her, Colleen McDonald and her family are focusing on reconnecting with their customers and doing what they do best: selling cars and taking care of their customers. Colleen smiles, “The legal part is over. Now the hard part starts. You thought that was hard? Run a car dealership. That is hard!” Hair by Yiannis Karimalis Makeup by Mona Rickard Picture on page 22 Styled by Jessica Kocik Renee c. Blouse $52 Lyse black pants $125 Savvy Chic Boutique Grosse Pointe Park 313.466.3388
And that faith extends to the future of her dealership as well. Every day new and old customers are stopping in and saying hello and welcoming them back to the community. “We were not the only ones who suffered through this ordeal. Our customers suffered too. We had very loyal long term customers,” Colleen indicates. “After we closed, they were told they had to go outside of Livonia to get service.”
Whitney, Colleen, David and Natalie McDonald
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cannot imagine my life with different role models. The most important lesson I have ever learned from my Mom and Dad is to never give up. I think this is the most important lesson you can learn; as Edward O’Neil said, “nobody likes a quitter.” My Dad used to say this to my sister and I; we never quit anything. We had to finish what we started in order to learn and grow. If my parents wouldn’t have taught me to be strong and to see things through until the end, I would not be the person I am today.
SIX YEARS
Too Long
A DAUGHTERS STORY OF TURMOIL & TRIUMPH By Whitney McDonald Daughter of Colleen and David McDonald
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y parents are the strongest and smartest people I know. They have taught me everything from pottytraining to riding a bike. They have taught me my morals, passed down their values, and shared their lives with me. I
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My Mom and Dad are car dealers. My grandfather, Walt Norris, started in the auto industry when he was a young man, he bought and turned around four dealerships. Three of the four dealerships were passed along to my Mom when Walt passed away. They were Livonia Chrysler Jeep, Holiday Chevrolet, and Century Dodge. The fourth had been out of the family and sold years before my Mom was in the business. These businesses thrived for well over thirty years. The dealerships were not successful on their own. They owe their success to my Mom and Dad, Colleen and Dave McDonald, who might as well have lived at the dealerships when I was growing up. I can only imagine how hard it was for my Mom to go back to work when I was just a few weeks old. Her dedication is an inspiration and her work ethic is indescribable. I got my work ethic from my Mom, who is never one to sit on the couch and relax. She is always on the move. I never procrastinate, I always get things done and do them right the first time; I owe that to my Mom. Even when I was little, my room was always clean, my homework was always done, and I was always asking “what’s next?” Watching my parents become so successful made me want to be hard worker, but I knew that success didn’t come easy.
In 2009, Chrysler and GM both filed for bankruptcy. Along with their bankruptcy, they terminated 789 dealers (Detroit News), my parents being one of those affected dealers. Chrysler headquarters informed my Mom, the owner of the three businesses, via voicemail that all three of her businesses must be closed within twenty-six days. They didn’t even have the decency to contact her directly. I remember my Mom and Dad walking in the door on June 9, 2009 completely silent with yellow eyes and broken hearts. They told my older sister, Natalie, and I that the dealerships were closing. We didn’t know how to react, I was only eleven years old and my sister was only fourteen. We knew that “I’m sorry” would mean nothing. My whole family and world turned upside down.
Hearing the tragic news from my parents’ lips, seeing my Mom’s interviews on the news, and listening to my Dad’s cracking voice on the radio is really something I will never forget. As I watched and listened to their interviews, I could see the heartache in my Mom’s eyes, and hear it in my Dad’s throat. My Mom was interviewed outside of a courtroom and said “we are going to look back on this day and say ‘oh my god,’ what happened to the way that we live right now, its over, its over”. I grew up thinking that someday the family businesses would be mine and my parents had the same idea. They were setting up my sister and I for the future before it was all swept out from beneath them. I had never even imagined something like this happening, especially living in the United States. Having that many people unemployed overnight seemed criminal, which is exactly what it was. I learned that nothing is permanent and that life really can throw you curve balls. Something that really struck me during this is that no matter how successful you are, no matter how much work you put into something, it is not a guarantee in your life. I remember hearing my Mom cry in her room, I remember my Dad didn’t sleep for months, I heard my Mom having panic attacks. She was scared. Scared of what to do financially, and scared of what the next step was. It was a completely overwhelming whirlwind. My sister and I would cry because we knew there was nothing we could do. We didn’t know if our parents would get a divorce over this, or if we would be able to stay in our home, or what the future held. Our parents didn’t really address the topic with us for a few weeks. I think it’s because they just didn’t know how to wrap their heads around it themselves, let alone explain it to young kids. We finally were told the situation and it took me years to understand it. Now, I know the entire story like the back of my hand. My parents were angry, devastated, and confused, but they didn’t have much time for that. They filed for arbitration for the Chrysler Jeep franchise and for the Century Dodge franchise. Arbitration was won for Chrysler Jeep, but unfortunately not for Century Dodge. Winning arbitration for Livonia Chrysler Jeep meant that Chrysler was to write a new letter of intent reinstating the dealership location. This was not so simple. It took six plus years, numerous visits to the sixth circuit court, and a trip to the Supreme Court in Washington for Chrysler to finally comply. I attended the hearing at the sixth circuit court when I was a junior in high school. I had known all about the lawsuit, but it was strange to see my Mom and her attorney beside Chrysler’s attorney standing before a judge of such a high honor. That is an experience I will never forget. I remember how proud I was of my Mom for fighting against such a huge corporation. She is so strong. On June 22, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against Chrysler and ordered them to reinstate Livonia Chrysler
Jeep. Chrysler was ordered to write a new letter of intent, give my parents their dealer code, and start doing business with them again. I always thought this day would come eventually, but seeing it finally happen has been amazing. Imagine six years of waiting for something and then it finally happening. Since being reinstated, my parents have been completely different people. They are happy that justice has been served. Although they “won,” it wasn’t so simple to just reopen. My parents are now in the midst of construction at the dealership, they are in the hiring process, and are very stressed because they are in a time crunch. This reinstatement is what they wanted, and now they want to put in the work to reopen. Seeing my Mom and Dad go through all of this has taught me to never give up. They never gave up over a six-year time period and they prevailed. Through this terrible experience, I have learned so many positive things. I have learned to never give up no matter what life throws at you. My Mom has taught me to always be mature and to believe in God. I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason, and I also believe that justice is always served. My Mom said in an interview with Frank Beckman, “God won’t give anyone anything they can’t handle, so He must think I can handle a lot.” In my family’s case, my Mom and Dad got through the hardest thing in their lives, they handled it with grace, and ended up on top. After six years of fighting against Chrysler, suing the federal government, and having their case heard by the Supreme Court, they finally won. I am proud to have these amazing people as my parents and I know that I have gained so much knowledge about the court systems and about character. This wretched time in my family’s lives will never be forgotten, but I speak for my entire family when I say we are ready to move forward, rebuild this business, and be more successful than ever. Since this story was written, Livonia Chrysler Jeep has re-opened there doors, Nov. 2015
Whitney and Natalie McDonald
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Simply Spiritual Follow your path
48 | Eydis Magazine
Manifesting with Divine Guidance by Marilyn G. Maceri
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very morning I awaken with the prayer, “Divine Love, help me see the world through your eyes today and guide my steps toward only truth.”
Divine Love is the highest and purest vibration of the loving source of all that is. For me, seeing and feeling the world in this way actually helps to keep my perspective focused on manifesting with Divine Guidance. What is Divine Guidance? Well, I believe that there are angels and spirit guides around us all the time available and willing to help us fulfill our highest and greatest good while here on earth. However, because they cannot go against our free will, we have to ask for help and guidance, either directly or through our intentions.
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There is a four step process that is powerful in manifesting with Divine Guidance.
Step 1:
ASK. It is important to ask for what it is your heart desires. Be as specific as possible. You can think it or write it down. It’s called an intention. What is it that you want clarity for or guidance with? Some examples might be when you need to make a phone call but are afraid you will not know what to say or how to say it; ask your angels and guides to help you. When you want to pick out the perfect gift for someone, when you’ve misplaced something, when you want to plant a garden but you’ve never done it before, when you are undecided about what job to take, when you want to read a book but there are so many
you don’t know which one to choose, or you want to write a story but don’t know what to write about, ask your angels and guides to guide you. There are endless opportunities to ask for guidance throughout your day. It doesn’t matter how big or small the situation seems to you, ask for help and you will be amazed at how you receive a response.
Step 2:
BELIEVE. Truly believing that you are being guided is a powerful vibration that allows the release of what you are asking for into the universe. This allows your angels and guides the freedom to act on your behalf. Let go and know that your intention has been heard and that you are being guided. Get out of the way, and allow it to come to you.
Step 3:
RECEIVE. The key is being open and receptive to guidance. Learn to listen, see, sense, or feel the answer. An idea will come to you, or a song will start playing on the radio with the words you need to hear. You might see an ad in a magazine or a friend will call you on the phone and say something that will trigger an answer for you. You might feel a gentle nudge to look in a drawer or a closet where something you misplaced will be found. It’s so much fun to ask for help and then go out into your day with the anticipation that the answer will come, sometimes when or where you least expect it. That’s why you have to remain open and alert so you will recognize the guidance when it comes.
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Step 4:
ACT. Once you receive the guidance, it is crucial that you act upon that guidance if it feels right to you. Make that phone call, learn more about that career opportunity, turn right when you are guided to turn right, take that vacation or read that book, etc. You must take the action steps necessary to fulfill your intention when guided to do so.
the next 200 feet, and so on and so on until you reach your destination. The same is true for your life. You only have to see what is being presented in front of you, trusting that the next 200 feet will be revealed to you as needed.
When you follow these four steps of Divine Guidance, your life will flow with more grace and ease. There will be less of a struggle to make things happen because doors will open and new opportunities will arise for you that you may not have had before. You will start seeing things in a new and clearer way.
Marilyn Maceri founded Lifeforce Enterprises LLC in Warren, MI in 2003 when she was guided to heal through the use of Reiki. Since then she discovered that everything is energy and that by shifting energy frequencies to higher levels, the body, mind and spirit naturally heal.
Ever since I consciously decided to live my life through Divine Guidance over fifteen years ago, I have been and still am amazed at how effortlessly my life seems to unfold. From new career/job opportunities, vacations, classes, friendships, and increased finances to higher spiritual awareness and better health and well-being all around. I have also built my business with the help of my angels and guides using this four step process. As Jack Canfield said in the movie “The Secret,” when you are traveling across country in a car at night, you don’t have to see the entire 2,000 miles all at once. The headlights from the car will light the first 200 feet, then the next 200 feet, then
In the past 13 years she has added the use of an Original John of God Crystal Light Bed from Brazil to her Reiki, along with Consciousness Coaching, hypnotherapy, essential oils, flower essences, crystals, angel card guidance readings, and Teaching/Presenting Universal Truths as tools to help in this shift of energy vibration transformation. She has a series of free YouTube videos entitled “Conscious Awakening” that can be easily accessed from her website LifeforceEnterprises.com to help assist in learning these principles for increased health, vitality and well-being.
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A journey of 1,000 miles begins with the first step. ASK. Then BELIEVE, RECEIVE and ACT.
For more information about the services she offers, go to LifeforceEnterprises.com or email Marilyn at Lifeforceenergy@hotmail.com
Discover Your Life Purpose By Kathryn Andries Dear Kathryn,
Dear Jane,
I will be graduating from college in 6 months and feel overwhelmed at the prospect of finding a career and job. I am majoring in business because that is what my parents wanted me to do. However, I don’t feel quite aligned with that, and not sure what I really want to do. My birthday is March 3, 1998.
Let’s begin with some numerology. Based on your birthday of 2-1-1987, your life path number is a 1. The purpose of a 1 is to be independent, assertive, and a courageous pioneer. Each number has both a positive and negative influence. The negative tendencies of the 1 are to be bossy and inflexible. Therefore, your husband may be accurate in his complaints. You can redirect your desire to be the boss to another area of your life, such as your job. Seek out a leadership position where you can use your 1 talents. The other issue going on is that you will be turning 29 in a few weeks. You are entering your Saturn return. This is a significant astrological event, otherwise known as a wake up call. Saturn is a planet that wants to make us responsible for our lives and will churn up areas in life that need our attention. Many people experience friction in their life when they are not following their path, and this friction can be experienced in relationships as well. Although the Saturn return can be a tumultuous time in your life, it is also a great opportunity to make changes and live the life you desire. The Saturn last a few years, until about the age of 31. This gives you some time to learn more about yourself so that the next 29 years are fulfilling. I recommend a full astrological chart reading to see the placement of Saturn on your chart for further information about what you need to be responsible with and what talents you can call upon for guidance.
Sincerely, Sarah, Dear Sarah, Based on your birthday, you were born under the Pisces influence. Pisces is a water sign, so it is natural that you often feel overwhelm when it comes to practical issues like getting an job. Water molds to what it is put in, so you are easily influenced by other people around you, and in your case it was your parents. The good news is that Pisces is very perceptive and open to receiving from your inner self. Your uneasiness about your job choice is an example that you are listening to your feelings, and sensing something is off. You have the natural gift of being able to hear your intuition, so let this be your guide, rather than other people. The natural gifts of Pisces is artistic expression, empathy, and the ability to connect with others emotionally. Based on your astrology chart your Midheaven, which relates to career aptitudes and talents, is influenced by the sign of Virgo. This reveals in a career you would be good at healing, detail oriented tasks, writing and communicating, and service oriented careers. When we combine this information with your Pisces Sun sign, we see possible suitable careers would be natural healing, counseling, or social work. Investigate those careers and see how they feel. Let your intuition guide you. Dear Kathryn, I have been married for 4 years and am having problems with my spouse. I only knew him for 6 months before marrying him. I have a tendency to jump in fast and then later wonder how I got myself in a bind. I do love my husband and want to work this out. Basically he says I am bossy and always want things my way. Any guidance is greatly appreciated. My birthday is February 1, 1987. Sincerely, Jane
Kathryn and and her husband, Patrick, are veteran teachers, authors and public speakers. They have been studying and teaching metaphysical topics for over 20 years, and specialize in the topic of dreams. They are co-authors of the book Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, released by Ozark Mountain Publishing in June 2014. Kathryn also wrote a children’s book on dreams, The Dream Doctor. Kathryn’s other books include Soul Choices: Six Paths to Find Your Life Purpose, Soul Choices: Six Paths to Fulfilling Relationships and The Big Desire. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com. Kathryn earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from the University of Michigan and a holistic health practitioner degree from Body Mind College in California. She completed extensive studies in the intuitive arts at the Berkeley Psychic Institute, the School of Metaphysics, and the American Federation of Astrologers. The Andries co-founded the School of Intuitive Arts and Sciences and are currently on the Board of Transcendence Academy, a school for children focusing on self-awareness based education. The Andries provide metaphysical and healing services at the Awaken Whole Life Center at Unity Village, Missouri.
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Grace by Kate Sholonski
I
frequently experience inspiration when I least expect it. One particular experience stands out in my mind because it created a metaphor for how I want to live my life. Here’s a hint: with grace and ease.
Grace can mean different things to different people, a result of being pardoned or forgiven, blessed, or even holy. When I think of the word grace, I feel graceful, elegant, and at total ease, as if there is no resistance to the flow that occurs in life. It is combined with a sense of connection to the divine, which adds a lovely spiritual feel to this inspiring mix. I experienced an overwhelming sense of grace one beautiful April day many years ago, while driving home from the car dealership in my newly purchased Porsche Boxster. This car was a special purchase for me since it came into my life after a year of envisioning,
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As I got behind the wheel, adjusted the seat, mirrors, and steering wheel height, put the top down, and fastened my seat belt, I knew this car was more than a four-wheel vehicle that could take me where I wanted to go. Although I know it may sound odd, I felt a oneness with this car, as if we were partners in a divine sisterhood. Although I had never named a car before, it was clear after driving just a few miles this particular beauty deserved a name, and that name would be Grace. As I traveled home on a curvy road through the mountains of northern Pennsylvania, I felt Grace’s power while taking her through her gears. She didn’t push beyond what was needed, but with my help sensing just how much gas to give her and when to downshift, her speed was perfect in meeting whatever curve or bump we encountered on the road. There was no hesitation or fear, only sureness and trust. It was as if the confidence of Grace transmitted directly into me, and it wasn’t just based on her great looks but what she was made of from the inside-out. As Grace and I flowed along, hugging the curves in the road with ease, it struck me that this was exactly how I wanted to live my life. With the sunshine beaming down on me and feeling the spring breeze in my face, I began to think what that would be like.
dreaming, and a knowing that one day I would acquire a silver sports car. I had been a student of several positive thought leaders for some time and learned I could attract what I wanted into my life when I held the vision and trusted it would come to be. This sweet ride was one of my first conscious manifestations and, although I felt confident about acquiring it, I had no idea what it would really mean for my life.
The metaphor translated to my not putting on my brakes whenever I face something new, but to gently move ahead with ease, trusting my intuition, and staying alert and sure that I can meet whatever twists, turns, or bumps may be ahead. I was reminded that I don’t have to always know where I am going, but can trust myself as I ride through life. I knew whatever sights I see will make for an enjoyable process. While living life in Grace’s mode, there are no such
things as mistakes since every road has experiences, sights, sounds, new friends, and opportunities to help me grow and learn, with every stretch of road I cover. It has been nine years since Grace and I became a spiritual team and, although she spends several months a year tucked under a blanket in the garage, all I have to do is close my eyes and I feel the power, the sureness and ease of living in a state of grace. I have no idea where my road through life will take me from here, but I do know that no matter what, I will enjoy the ride as I live with grace and ease. Vroooooooom Vroooooooom. Kate transitioned from a 28 year nursing career to life coaching and as a personal fulfillment workshop leader in 2001. After many years of coaching people from all walks of life, she and her business partner repeatedly heard requests from their clients to combine joy and fulfillment with leadership principles. It was that concept that led them to create their business, Triumph Leadership Group, where they focus on training teams from all sized businesses to build positive and productive cultures. Kate and her business partner, David Larson have co-authored two books, Wide Awake: Three Minutes a Day to an Inspired Life and Heartfelt Leadership: Creating a Culture of Connection. They believe when relationships don’t work, the business doesn’t work and that workers who share heartfelt connections will help business thrive on every level.
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The Dream Experts
WHAT DOES YOUR DREAM MEAN? by Kathryn and Patrick Andries
Dear Dream Experts, I am at a home decorating and entertaining contest. I was baking and cooking and getting the house ready for this event. I made an elaborate cake that looked like a flap ship. I needed to figure out how to frost the sails of the ship and the flag. I had a cinnamon mixture for the red stripes of the flag. My mom was helping me. The event was being held outside and tables were decorated and had big plates of shrimp that my mom made and other foods. I was nervous because I had to have my cake ready before the judges got there. Sincerely, Panicked Dear Panicked, Your home represents your mind and food represents knowledge. You are on a quest to improve your mind and show off your creativity (decorations) and knowledge (food). You are calling upon your higher self, or superconscious mind (mom) to help you in this endeavor. You have some anxiety about how well you are doing with your creations and your display of knowledge (the judges). Relax and trust your inner self.
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Dear Dream Expert,
Dear Dream Experts, My 7 year-old son dreamt that his dad and I did something wrong and went to jail and my sister moved in to take care of him, his brother and the dog. He describes my sister as good, nice and kind of like a mom. Sincerely, A Concerned Mom
I am at a teacher conference. A school principal is speaking. I thought she was very smart. She reads this scenario and we are supposed to tell what to do. I am sitting next to my husband who made this game with a stick, some string, and a washer. He was spinning the string around and I was watching him, thinking how smart he was. He said if the students don’t understand the game after two tries, then you need to get another teacher to explain it. I thought a better idea was that if the students didn’t understand it after two tries, then you need to keep repeating the lesson until they understand it. Another man stands up in front and talks about an alphabet book. All the teachers say they want a copy of the book. Then he says he is a clothes buyer and talks about men’s clothing and how they look for durable material to make their clothes, like corduroy. The man is dressed in a nice three-piece suit. There is a lot of food up front, so I help myself to a bowl of chili and then sit back down. Sincerely, Teacher
Dear Teacher,
Dear Concerned Mom, You and your husband represent your son’s higher self, or superconscious mind. It is the part of him that has information about his life mission. He feels a disconnect with that part of himself, which leads to limited access to his higher self (being in jail would be limited thinking). He feels like his inner self is out of alignment with his spiritual self (doing something wrong to land his parents in jail). He feels more in touch with the part of himself that is good and kind (your sister), yet disconnected to his spiritual self and mission (parents in jail). He has a particular life mission, and feels like he is going in the wrong direction. Superconscious mind issues deal with dharma and life purpose. At 7 yearsold, the conscious mind becomes more dominant, so some people experience a disconnect with the inner self at this age. It would be beneficial to help him stay connected to his inner self with dream interpretation, meditation, and quiet reflection time.
You are listening to the parts of yourself that contain wisdom (teachers, principal). You recognize your wisdom, and are challenged to look for solutions. You are committed to developing your wisdom (husband); however, you disagree about how to pass on the wisdom to other parts of yourself. You are also looking at the importance of your self-expression. There were many opportunities to take in knowledge (food) the previous day.
Kathryn and Patrick Andries are the dream experts. They are the authors of the recently released book from Ozark Mountain Publishing, Naked in Public: Dream Symbols Revealed, and The Dream Doctor. If you would like a dream interpreted, please send it in the body of an e-mail to: intuitiveschool@sbcglobal.net. Learn more about their books at www.ozarkmt.com.
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Why You Shouldn’t Use a Budget by Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®
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Three Steps to Creating a Values-Based Spending Plan
ait, what? No budget? Are you thinking, “How can a financial advisor and prosperity expert be saying I shouldn’t budget?” Yup, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Here’s why: I’ve never seen budgets work, at least not for most people. Doesn’t budgeting feel restrictive and just not any fun? It’s sort of like eating celery at a pizza party. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t know where your money is going or that you shouldn’t be paying attention to where you spend your money. Reviewing where your cash is going and planning how you’ll spend in the future is really important, but even people who meticulously keep track of their spending have most likely skipped asking themselves the most important question in the process: Am I spending on what is truly important to me and on what I value? Instead of attempting to stick to a budget, I suggest you set up a values-based spending plan. A values-based spending plan is about looking at where you do spend money and confirming it is in line with your priorities and values. This is an incredibly powerful step toward using your money to help turn your vision into reality. Most people spend unconsciously and then wonder why they aren’t moving toward their goals more quickly. People haven’t typically taken the time to look at and examine what they value in life. Yet, knowing what you want from life and creating a spending plan based upon these values, makes it possible to realize your goals more effortlessly.
Developing a values-based spending plan is helpful not only in reaching your financial goals, but also in creating a financial life that runs in concert to what is truly important to you.
Step One: Take a deep dive into your values. Set aside quiet time to think and journal
about each of the following aspects of your life: family, community, personal growth, spirituality, and health. For each category, write about all of the things that are important to you. When you think you are finished, write some more. Once you have thoroughly explored each of these areas, go back and identify the most important points you have written in each section. Now go back over your list again and prioritize each of these important areas.
Step Two: Know what is flowing in and flowing out. For some people this is easy. They
keep track of their income and spending on a regular basis and can access this information quickly. For others (most people), coming up with a summary of their income and spending is more of a challenge. To compile this information, I suggest you review the past twelve months’ spending to summarize your expenses into detailed categories using your check registers and credit card statements for the last year.
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Ellen Rogin, CPA, CFP®, is the co-author of the New York Times bestselling book: Picture Your Prosperity: Smart Money Moves to Turn Your Vision into Reality. Chockfull of “left brain” credentials, MBA, CPA, and Certified Financial PlannerTM, Ellen also walks on the “right” side, balancing values, big picture ideas, meditation and humor with all her professional training. She is as comfortable talking about the power of compound interest as she is talking about the power of belief. Ellen presents to corporate audiences and associations to share her counterintuitive methods for achieving both business and personal goals. As the founder and president of a Chicago area wealth management firm, Ellen combines her credentialed expertise with an inspired, conscious approach to money. Ellen is also founder of the Abundance Activist® movement whose mission it is to help the world think and act more prosperously. Ellen and her work have been quoted in such national publications as The New York Times, Money, Time.com, Forbes. com, The Huffington Post, and US News and World Report. ellenrogin.com
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The more detailed you are, the more useful the information will be in the valuesbased spending process. For example, instead of having just one category for clothes, divide this into subcategories such as: clothes for the kids, my clothes, and my spouse’s clothes. It may be challenging and time-consuming to reconstruct this information, but you’ll end up with a useful spending record. Using a budgeting software package to assist you will help organize the categories and calculate the totals over time. Many people like using Mint.com or Quicken™ to automate this process. You can also use a spreadsheet or go old-school and put pen to paper. Once you have a listing of your spending for the past year, you are ready to begin assessing if you are allocating your money in ways that are truly important to you.
Step Three: Review your expenses and see if your spending corresponds with your goals.
Now that you have a spending summary showing what’s flowing in and what’s flowing out, it’s time to turn this into a prioritized, values-based spending plan. To do this, go through each area where you spend and decide if it’s an A, B, or C priority. As are things that you truly value. You wouldn’t want to give them up and feel that you must have them. Next, go to the
Bs, things you enjoy or feel are important, but not as important as A’s. C items are everything else, things you do, they’re nice but not that big of a deal to you. Let’s say you put your home as an A priority, then you should put the required expenses that go with your home (taxes, insurance, etc.) as A priorities as well. On the other hand, if you’re like my friend Sally, you may realize your home really isn’t that important to you and changing where and how you live could make a huge difference in your spending. Sally went through this process and discovered that, although her house was really important to her when her kids were little, now that they are grown and she’s no longer married to their dad, she didn’t really care about her house. Deciding to move allowed her to find a beautiful condo with a great view and cut her expenses. With less money going to housing she was able to see how to leave her job, which she hated, and start her own business. Creating a values-based spending plan was the catalyst for Sally to turn her dreams into reality. A values-based spending plan reflects what you really care about in life. It is a great way to proactively look at how your money reflects your values and can help propel you to your goals more quickly. Wouldn’t you rather plan your spending than budget anyway?
The Butterfly Moment What is a “Butterfly Moment?” There is an incredible “HAPPENING” that occurs when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. The caterpillar is encapsulated by a cocoon of its own making. It is imprisoned in a state of total immobility and darkness. Understandably, it must be a time of pain, panic and despair. However, as a certain life force of “allowing” takes over, this creature instinctively “lets go and lets God” an incredible transformation occurs. It is a transformation and struggle that is totally personal. Scientist tell us that if you help a caterpillar by cutting it out of the cocoon it will die because this struggle pushes life giving energy deep into its growing wings. In other words, “no pain…no gain.” As life energies slowly break loose the caterpillar from the cocoon, an incredible moment occurs. This caterpillar has a realization. It is a moment when it finally understands that all of this pain, panic and despair were for a reason. The caterpillar is not what it thought it was! It is one of the most beautiful insects in the world… that can fly!
Can you think of a more “AHA!” moment that this?
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The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe. –Gustave Haubert
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Healthy Living
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C
ravings are often linked to and generated by memories. We associate foods with memories. Some of the memories are good and some of them, not so much. 70 | Eydis Magazine
My dad, for example, could not stand the thought of rice. During World War II, rice was a staple for troops in the European theater. After four years of rice, K-rations, and the horrors of war, he
prayed he’d never see either one again. For my dad, rice was connected to misery. It symbolized hardship, loneliness, and physical discomfort/
Cut the Cravings! Stop looking for love in heart-shaped boxes. by Liz Bull
danger. It literally put a bad taste in his mouth. On the flip side, for many people, cookies or brownies bring back
memories of feeling loved. They may have come in a “care package� when they were away at school. Or perhaps they were waiting for us when we got home from school. For me, visits to
my beloved Irish grandmother always meant freshly baked Irish soda bread with Irish butter and a nice cuppa (tea) to be shared at her kitchen table on Blue Willow china. The smell of Irish eydismedia.com 71
soda bread makes me feel close to my Nana, even though she has been gone for many years. It symbolizes comfort and being cared for, being loved.
Craving large amounts of food can also be associated with good and bad memories. Several of my clients grew up desperately poor. So, piling their plates high made them feel more safe and secure. A plate with smaller portions made them feel deprived and panicky, afraid that they would be hungry later. It reminded them of being poor. Many of us pile our plates high for special occasions, so it reminds us of feeling warm, happy, and close to friends and relatives. Perhaps even being treated as a “grown-up.” The result of this kind of over-eating is fodder for Alka-Seltzer commercials. Fortunately, we “eat” with our eyes first. My friends at Livliga have developed a brilliant fix for both of these situations. Check out this photo of the two plates with the same amount of food on each plate. Which would you choose? Here’s what people say about them: “These plates have completely changed the way I consume and enjoy food! I have generally known ‘what to eat’ but not necessarily ‘how much to eat.’ I consistently left the table feeling too full knowing that I consumed too much. After using these plates for the past few months, I now eat the right portion sizes and leave the table feeling satisfied and better about myself. The plates, bowls, and cups are also beautifully designed; I use them every day and for dinner parties and my guests rave about them.” The best part is that this amazing and elegant china is available online! Here’s the link: www.livligahome.com/?Click=804 72 | Eydis Magazine
Chocolate, artfully arranged in a beautiful heart-shaped box, means we are cared for and loved, that we are special. It means romance. Or something else. As my favorite Godiva (chocolate) ad slyly asks: How mad is she? And if we don’t get one of these boxes on that special day, we often feel devastated. So, think about your “symbol food.” You may have several. What do you reach for when you are feeling stressed, blue, lonely, or out of sorts? These are the times when cravings will crop up.
For one of my clients, it was grapes. They brought back memories of fun times with his grandfather when they would go to the open air market. For another client, it was little rum cakes, which her father gave to her when she was upset. Fast forward, when she was upset, she craved those little rum cakes. Food has tremendous power to soothe. When we are feeling stressed or lonely, we often crave the very same foods with the “good” associations. The trouble with this is that food can never satisfy a hunger which is not physical. These foods are merely symbolic of love and care, of good times. We are looking for love in the wrong place! Unfortunately, many of these foods leave us feeling more hungry and unsatisfied. So, what to do? Learn
Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity.
to connect the dots! Once you have made the connection between the food and the memory, and what it symbolizes for you, you are free to choose something in the present that would actually be more soothing and satisfying. When my clients connected the dots, rum cakes and grapes lost their appeal in times of stress. They were able to make better choices such as calling a friend, having a massage or a nice soak in the tub, going for a walk, or playing with the dog. You get the idea. Whether it’s the specific food or the amount of food, once you have connected the dots, you are finally free to choose what would truly satisfy you. You can kiss those cravings good-bye! Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity. With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe.
With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner , Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates- not only for the sufferer but for their families. lizbull.com eydismedia.com 73
M
y mother was a nurse. My sisters became nurses. I was the holdout, the one who refused to even consider it. My decision was based on two things: contrariness (I’ll admit it) and my complete inability to deal with unpleasant human fluids, including, but definitely not limited to, blood. As you can imagine, my life was strongly influenced by the Western medicine environment in which I grew up. There were some wonderful advantages to having sisters who were nurses. When we were sick, we saw doctors, we took
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pills, or got shots, we did what we were told. That’s what sane, educated, intelligent people do, right? I viewed alternative treatment methods, including quality food, with skepticism at best and as criminal scams at worst. People who used alternatives were “out there,” and people who practiced them were con artists or nuts. Our paths didn’t cross because when I’d see them coming, I’d turn away. So how on earth did I get from where I was to where I am now, a practicing
holistic health and wellness coach with a contact file full of wonderful alternative practitioners? It took decades of life, of struggle, and of suffering before I even began to consider them. It would take more than this column to paint the complete picture, so let me just give you an overview. My health was pretty much on track until my 40s, and then, with a new career, new husband, and a mom who, in her 80s, began to have health issues, I took the focus off me and put it everywhere else.
Embracing Alternatives For Better Health And Wellness by Toni Crabtree
And I went to pot. You can imagine the stress. I didn’t handle it well. By the time I was 49, my day to day reality consisted of chronic allergies, hypertension, high cholesterol, depression, headaches, frequent respiratory infections, obesity, and exhaustion. My future looked grim. I did the best I knew to do at the time: I saw my doctor, I tried weight loss plans one after the other, and I took my prescriptions and over-the-counter medications. The jumbo sized bottle
of extra-strength Excedrin was my best friend. Underneath it all, though, I was resigned to a very bleak future. I might smile during the day, but in the quiet moments I was deep in despair. The turning point came when a fellow teacher, a fitness and health fanatic, shared some information with me about therapeutic supplements she had been using. Although I was very skeptical I was also desperate. Because I trusted my friend, and because there were protocols for using the supplements to help specific conditions, I decided to try them.
At the same time, I learned that I needed to eat to keep my blood sugar steady, rather than counting calories or points. For the first time in years, my cravings and weight began to stabilize. I began to feel better and better, to have more energy, and I saw the first glimmer of hope. Within that first year I said goodbye to every one of those medications—yes, with my doctor’s approval—and that really got my attention! It was like someone had pulled the plug on my reluctance to try new things. From that point on, I tried lots of things. I tried new foods, from avocados to jicama and from cacao nibs to turmeric root. I tried vegetarian, vegan, and paleo diets and eventually settled on plant-focused (more plants than anything else) eating. We invested in a Vitamix for the creamiest smoothies on the planet. We even made our own fresh nut milks and fermented foods. I went back to school. I detoxed, enjoyed thalasso pools, and had nutrition seminars during a long weekend at Sanoviv Medical Institute in Mexico, and enjoyed lunch and a lecture at the Hippocrates Institute in Florida. I experienced Reiki, kinesiology, Emotional Freedom Techniques, various cleanses, several types of massage, theta healing, colonics, acupuncture, clinical hypnotherapy, different approaches to chiropractic
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Every approach, plan, and therapy works for somebody. No single approach, plan or therapy works for everybody. We are living in very exciting times. With just a few clicks of a mouse, we can discover the world of traditional and modern therapies. Alternative therapies are gaining acceptance in our mainstream culture as personal stories and increasing scientific evidence are available to support them.
are doing that too. And I know it can be scary to dip a toe into a world that seems so foreign and, frankly, weird. So I decided to do something new, to mentor and guide others in their journey from skeptic to fully empowered.
and meditation, homeopathy, essential oils, herbs, yoga, countless lectures by raw food enthusiasts, as well as proponents of paleo and traditional food lifestyles, and more. Whew! Here’s the thing, if I was clinging to what I knew despite the fact it wasn’t working for me, I know that others
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That’s how this girl, raised on Western medicine, became a holistic coach. I haven’t heard it all. I haven’t experienced everything there is to experience, but I have learned and experienced a lot. In the process, I’ve met some wonderful practitioners to whom I’m delighted to refer, others who fit my earlier view of nut or con man, and others still who are serious ego maniacs. By far, the most important thing I’ve learned is:
As a skeptic who has learned a few things over the years, I want to be a part of spreading that awareness. I’d love to hear about your journey. Were you brought up with alternative therapies, or are you just beginning to dip your toe into this wonderful pool of knowledge? Please share on our Facebook page, Crabtree Healthy Living!
Toni is a mentor, author, and connector who maintains an on-line coaching practice. She lives with her husband in Orlando FL where she is actively at work to raise consciousness around food and lifestyle for a healthier, happier tomorrow for all. To schedule a consult with Toni go to CrabtreeHealthyLiving.com or email her at toni@crabtreehealthyliving.com
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N
ot so long ago, I was living in the unhappy zone. I was not eating well, had a few extra pounds, didn’t like how I looked, put too much pressure on myself about relationships in my life, and there was way too much negativity in my life. I was just making it through life, living to get through the day. I was in a physical and emotional dead zone.
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Then, I learned something that changed it all. I learned what nourishment really meant. We all know about food—what we put on our plates and what we drink. We know what we eat can affect our mental state. It can impact our attitude, the health of our bodies, and our outlook on life.
But food is a lot more than just what you find on your plate. It includes all those things off the plate, like relationships, physical fitness, and careers. It includes our spirituality and our connectedness to each other. All of these have a great influence on how we nourish ourselves, how complete we feel, how happy we are with our
What Are You Really Hungry For? Let’s talk about nourishing our lives,our souls, and feeding ourselves what we need to have healthy bodies,happy hearts,and a life we love. by Cindy Nunnery
lives, even how happy we are with our bodies. This is our “lifestyle food.” What we eat and drink is secondary food; everything else not on our plate is primary food. Understanding the concept of primary and secondary food will give you the
most dramatic impact on your health and happiness, and will impact the health and happiness of those around you. Think about this: healthy relationships, regular physical activity, a fulfilling career, and a spiritual practice can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life. When this primary food is balanced
and satiated, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary. And the reverse is also true too. What we eat is tied to our emotions, our feelings, and our intimacy. I remember when I was a child playing outside, having fun. Suddenly, I heard my mother calling that dinner was
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ready. I remember hearing her calling my name realizing it was a long time since lunch but not at all being hungry. The passion of play with my brothers and sisters had all my attention. Do you remember a memory similar to this too? Think back to a time when you were passionately in love. Everything was so exciting. Colors were vibrant and fresh. Intimacy was just magical. Feelings of exhilaration sustained you. Food was an afterthought because you were high on life and love. Sometimes we are fed not by food, but by the energy in our lives. Secondary foods nourish our bodies, but are not able to give us the joy, meaning, or fulfillment that primary food provides. When we use secondary food to suppress our hunger for primary food, the body and mind suffer. Weight gain is just one of the consequences. Dietrelated disorders such as heart disease, cancer, obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes are national epidemics. One of the main reasons is because we
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are stuffing ourselves with secondary foods when we are really starving for primary food.
If you’re not getting the primary food you need, eating all the food in the world won’t satisfy your hunger. This is why “what are you hungry for?” is such a telling question. We use food to fulfill us. By understanding this question and its answer, it can transform our reaching for food to actually reaching for what will give you long-term fulfillment. Cookies and cheesecake can give you immediate gratification, but they don’t fill any void but for only a minute; we all know the health outcome of doing this time and time again. How can you find out what you are really hungry for so you can truly begin living and loving yourself and your life? I have the answer. I have created a fun and enlightening free course
that will give you laser focus on what is wreaking havoc on your life, and how you can use secondary foods to nourish your primary food and your body. To get access just go to feedingyourhungerforhappiness.com. You were born to lead a happy, healthy life. Now let’s do it!
Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, Best Selling Author, Speaker, Entrepreneur, Advocate for Living Lives We Love Everyday—Happy, Healthy & Energized! Email: cindy@cindynunnery.com Website: cindynunnery.com Like/Follow My Facebook Page: Facebook.com/poweredbynutrition Follow Me: @cindynunnery Get Linked with Me: linkedin.com/in/cindynunnery
Authors Page Feature Your Book eydismedia.com
Creating
Change
When you approach change metaphysically, anything can shift rapidly!
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by Judy Lipson
W
hat kind of change are you trying to manifest? Many of you are ready to create a new way of living, for yourself and for the greater good.
THE TRADITIONAL PERSPECTIVE
Identify What You Want to Change: Is it related to your health, organization, or time management? Be Reasonable and Seek Moderation: The goal is to design a new lifestyle practice rather than creating deprivation. Identify the Steps to Get There: Unattainable goals are not achievable. Select short-term steps that you can actually achieve. Since weight loss is a common goal, let’s look at that. Rather than setting a goal to lose ten pounds, determine which healthy eating changes would be preferable for you. Pick One Short-Term Achievable Step: You may have identified five or more ways to improve your eating. Instead of taking them all on at once, choose one for success. When it has been going well, add others. Allow Twenty-One Days to Let the Shift Become Familiar: Interestingly, it takes twenty-one days for your body to lose a sugar craving. Each day of success, your new chosen pattern becomes easier to maintain. Reward Yourself: Be careful here. If your goal was to change your eating habits, then eating a slice of cake is not your best option. Besides, you will now have to begin your 21 days all over again to kick the sugar craving. eydismedia.com 83
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METAPHYSICALLY
Identify What You Want to Change: This applies to the more traditional aspects of your life as well as the more complex concepts not typically taught in our society. Do you want to change the way you look at life, how you relate to another, or to influence global change? There are many thoughts that limit one’s view of life. Consider the following: “If you have something, that means there will be less for me.” “Things have always been this way, and therefore they always will.” “____ was horrible.” This is especially prevalent when you lose something (like a job promotion), or have something inconvenient happen (like a delay). These perspectives focus on the scarcity or pessimistic view of life when in fact there is plenty to go around. Even the most implausible situation might change; and when a door is closed, another opens. I’ve learned that if I’ve been delayed it is very possible that I needed to encounter someone or something that I would have otherwise missed, or that I was protected from a less-valued outcome. The scarcity/pessimistic paradigm sees only the knots and detours on the reverse side of the needlepoint canvas. Metaphysical change includes understanding things from a higher perspective, such as looking at the tapestry from the front to appreciate the perfection, even while the “knots” are being experienced. Use Attention and Intention: You need not slow the process by breaking it down into steps! The metaphysical paradigm teaches that one’s thoughts and expectations are the limiting
factor. When you place your attention on what you seek, with confidence, intention can create the desired shift. So believe that it can change with just a snap of your fingers.
GLOBAL CHANGE
We Are All One: As you shift to becoming who you really are, you will feel a coherence that allows you to experience balance and harmony with others, and to more easily join the collective that is evolving to oneness. Some of you will resonate with the previous truths. If you desire research: •
•
Masaru Emoto believed that emotional energies and vibrations could change the physical structure of water. As a result of his work, we now understand the power of words and their intention on water molecules. Images of his results can be seen on the web or in his book, The Hidden Messages in Water. It has been shown that when just one percent of a given population meditates on peace and positivity in small groups, crime rates drop significantly. The Maharishi Effect is believed to increase coherence and to decrease stress in the collective consciousness of a society. It has been cited in nearly fifty studies, and was used to decrease the crime rate in Washington, D.C. (Meditating to Try to Lower Crime Rate, NY Times, August 1, 1993).
Don’t believe the exhausted paradigm that is still used for society’s framework. You and I have an
obligation to spread peaceful, loving, and healing messages. These positive vibrations will join with the positive energies of numerous others to affect change globally. Hold the paradigm that believes that change CAN occur in the blink of an eye. Start practicing now. Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield, MI. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit SpiralWisdom.net for more information. This article is for informational purposes and is not meant to replace medical care.
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Catching Z Z Z Zs by Liz Bull
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G
etting enough sleep is essential for maintaining normal weight and reducing stress. With few exceptions, we all need eight to ten hours of sleep to function well. Ninety percent of fat-burning happens when our body rests, not at the gym. Did you know that when you sleep is also important? Yes! The body has its own maintenance schedule and it starts at 10pm. Start winding down by 9pm.
In truth, the preparations for a good night’s sleep must begin much earlier in the day. If you are a coffee or tea drinker, limit yourself to one cup in the morning. After noon, avoid any drinks with caffeine like coffee, tea, colas, and “energy drinks.” But wait! What about that afternoon slump? The one that happens between two and three in the afternoon. The one that makes you want to pull down the shades and jump into your jammies. If you find yourself having that late afternoon slump, adjust what you are eating for lunch. The carbohydrates in that sandwich may be the culprit. Have a salad and some grilled chicken or a small steak. This will sustain you and curb cravings as well. The slump may also be due to a sugar crash, so avoid dessert at lunch and ditch those candies you have hiding in the desk drawer. You could also be dehydrated. Grab a glass of water and squeeze a slice of lemon in it for an instant pick-me-up. Here are a few other things to do: get up from your desk and stretch, go outside and get some fresh air, and schedule this time for the gym or at least to walk around the block. Back to winding down. This means eating lighter at supper. Did you know that “supper” actually comes from “souper?” Yes, soup was the traditional evening meal. And there are some very good reasons for this. A lighter meal in the evening gives your digestive system a much needed rest. It also works with the digestive system’s natural rhythm, for it is at its peak in the middle of the day. Plan to eat supper no later than 7PM.
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Liz Bull helps women (and brave men!) who are fed up with weight loss programs that don’t work to finally get a body and a life they love. She is dedicated to busting up the myths, misconceptions and misinformation about obesity.
Winding down means shutting off the TV, the radio, and the computer. Avoid alcohol and snacks. Instead, consider a nightcap of Natural Vitality CALM. It’s full of magnesium, which relaxes muscles. You might also consider having a relaxing cup of chamomile tea. Bach’s Rescue Remedy SLEEP may also be helpful. Lastly, have rituals designed to de-stress from the day and avoid the anticipation of stress in the morning. These rituals may include: lay out clothes for the next day, have your briefcase, purse and/or backpack packed and ready and put them in a consistent convenient place (the same applies for the car/house keys), and have the preliminary preparations for breakfast done (set the table and set up the coffeemaker). This is also a good time to prepare lunch and any healthy snacks for the following day. Salads keep very well in plastic containers as long as the dressing is kept separate. To clear your mind, write down your intentions and “to get done” list for the next day. You may also want to use this time to journal about the day and release any lingering thoughts and frustrations. Have a relaxing bath, with lavender salts. This is a good time to have a routine for meditation. There are many excellent MP3’s 88 | Eydis Magazine
available which can help relax your body and quiet your mind. Adjust the room temperature. Too hot or too cold will prevent or disrupt sleep. Between sixty-two degrees Fahrenheit and seventy-two degrees Fahrenheit is recommended; however, keep an eye on the number that is best for YOU. You may need socks as cold feet can be disruptive to sleep. In the winter, I rely on cozy flannel sheets. Prepare your bedroom. It should be cool, dark and quiet. Bed comfort is important. Beware of memory foam pillows and pads. They may make you too hot. I am in love with my new “cloud”, a very thick synthetic mattress topper. Make the room dark by installing black-out shades, if necessary. Don’t forget to unplug! Keep electronics out of the bedroom. Those itty-bitty lights on them disrupt sleep. Lastly, put a drop of lavender essential oil on your pillow. Nighty-night. Sleep tight… and sweet dreams.
With her innovative signature program she works with her clients to release their limiting beliefs, doubts, and fears, and helps them tap into their natural abilities and their bodies’ wisdom, making weight loss easy and safe. A Medical Intuitive, Master Theta Healer and Certified Virtual Gastric Band Practitioner, Liz has long been fascinated by the important role mind, body, and beliefs play in our lives. Her other studies and certifications include EFT, Psych-K, Matrix Energetics, Access Consciousness, QiGong, NLP and Transcendental Meditation. She has transferred her successful healing/mind-set work with businesswomen to the arena of weight loss because she has experienced first-hand the havoc and misery that obesity creates- not only for the sufferer but for their families. lizbull.com
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