BLIND TRUST GOT ME HIV – SARAH APORO

TOKENS OF LIFE UGANDA

BLIND TRUST GOT ME HIV – SARAH APORO

By Christopher Mukasa

Sarah Aporo

Christopher Mukasa

Founder Tokens of Life Uganda

Sarah Aporo a 26-year-old HIV Positive female with an undetectable viral load, apparently working with Makerere University Business School as an Administrator and currently pursuing a Master’s Degree in Arts and Counselling at Makerere University, discovered that she had contracted HIV after a tip-off about the boy she was dating.

In January 2017, when university finalist Sarah Aporo discovered that she had contracted HIV after a tip-off about the boy she was dating, her first reaction was; fear, confusion, blame and anger – but she managed to rise from the ashes of her seemingly crumbled world to fight for young people who are most prone to catching the disease. Today, she is championing the HIV fight in Uganda towards Zero Infections using social media to educate the masses on stigma and the importance of testing and adherence to drugs.

Aporo was also recently presented with a Courage Award for coming out and championing the fight against new infections among the youth. She shared her story of Hope with Mukasa Christopher

The Story

My boyfriend and I dated for over a year. I remember on Valentine’s Day of 2015, we agreed to wait to have sex until marriage. About five months later, we broke up and I moved on and started seeing somebody else. With my new boyfriend, we tested for HIV before getting intimate. We were both negative, but the relationship did not last long. A few months down the road, I reconciled with my previous boyfriend and we became intimate.

A mutual friend of my boyfriend and I told me she had heard that he might be HIV-positive and that I needed to have my blood tested immediately. I was shaken by this information, but I also trusted my boyfriend, since I had never seen him take any drugs.

Besides, the Christmas season was upon us, so I decided to postpone the test. On January 2nd, I set off from the office, where I was working as I waited to graduate and headed to the University Clinic. I had recently had my blood checked, so I was sure the results would turn out Negative.

Sarah with her mother at graduation.

Here, she was yet to tell her mother about her new status. She told her after the graduation party.

Sarah (second-right sitting) at the East and Southern Africa Regional Technical Consultation on HIV and SGBV integration meet

When the doctor handed me the results, I could not believe what I was seeing. I was HIV-Positive. My first question to him was: “Does that mean I will be on medication for the rest of my life?” He said yes. Time stood still. My mind went blank¬¬. I remember running back to the office, picking my bag and jumping on a motorcycle, headed for my boyfriend’s workplace. He was not there.

Once again, I jumped on a motorcycle and headed to a clinic where my doctor practices. He had tested me a few months earlier and I was Negative. At that moment, he was the one person I felt I needed to talk to. Once at his office, I broke the news to him and like me, he too was shocked. He refused to believe it and insisted on doing another test right away. The test confirmed the nightmare that I was now living. The doctor counselled me. He told me I could live a full, positive life as long as I stuck to taking my medication and told me to bring my boyfriend with me the next day, so he too could be tested.

The next day, I was at my boyfriend’s office. Our relationship had not been doing very well from around October and he had been dodgy; not picking up my calls and claiming to be too busy to see me. I knew that he would not pick up if I called, so I went to his office and found him there. I asked to speak with him immediately and we went to the lobby. Once there, I broke the news to him and the first thing he said was: “That means I am also HIV positive”.

I told him I wanted him to get tested; that is the only way he would confirm it. He mumbled something about being busy, but I got tough and told him he was going with me to the clinic of my choice to take that test. He accepted. At the doctor’s, he, too, tested HIV-positive. And for the first time, I broke down and cried hard. I asked him if he knew that he was HIV-positive all along, but he said he was not aware.

The doctor made appointments for us, so we could come in for counselling, and also advised us to go to a hospital where we would have our CD4 count checked and get started on drugs. I kept the appointments, but my boyfriend was not committed. The Doctor advised me to put myself first and not let his behaviour interfere with my progress. He told me to try not to stress myself because it would lower my CD4 count and get me sick. I decided to start going to a near place near work. I have not spoken to the man I now call my ex-boyfriend since then.

BATTLE OF THE MIND

In the weeks that followed, I cried often. I would sit in a taxi and tell myself “Sarah, in this taxi, you are the one person with HIV. If they knew about it, how do you think they would react?” How would my family and friends take it? I constantly worried, then went back to my place and cried. Would I ever live the life I always dreamed of? Start a family? Find a partner? It was tough.

WORK

The very next day, after discovering my new HIV status, I walked straight to my boss and told him what had happened. I needed to take a few days off to get myself together and I did not want to lie about the reason. He was so supportive of me. He told me: “Sarah, your work here still stands. Do not let this demoralise you.” He told me that I could still do my Masters and PhD as he had always encouraged me to. He gave me the two days off I had asked for.

And even after my days off, his support gave me the confidence to show up to work every day and give 100%. My colleagues did not even realise that I was going through a tough time until I was ready to tell them. And they too have been so supportive of me. I inform them every time I am going to pick my drugs and they give me a few hours off, since sometimes the lines are long, so it takes a bit of time.

GRADUATION, TELLING MY FAMILY

I had finished my studies in May 2016 and was set to graduate in February 2017. I knew that I had to tell my family, but I did not want to ruin the party and get everyone sad. It had been about a month since discovering my status and through counselling, I had gradually recovered psychologically. The week after my graduation party, in my mother’s bedroom, I revealed to her that I had contracted HIV.

To my surprise, she did not break down and cry. She was clearly shocked, but she looked me right in the eye and told me: “I never expected this to ever happen to you. But we can fight through this. Take your medication faithfully and you will live well.”

The rest of the family got to know at my sister’s graduation about a month later. We were 12 family members in the home, and I delicately broke it to them. It was a very emotional moment for all of us. They all spoke one by one, pledging their love and support. Two of my brothers are doctors, so they educated the rest of the family about the condition and assured me that I would be absolutely fine and that they would stand with me. I have never felt alone since then.

I trusted a man so easily and got betrayed, something I should never have done. I should have demanded that we both got tested before getting intimate. I would not let anyone else get infected, not on my watch.

-Stop Judging People Living With HIV-

On people who judge those living with the virus, Aporo says it is a bad practice because a huge number of HIV positive individuals acquired the virus not necessarily through having multiple sexual partners but via other ways including those born with the virus, those raped by infected individuals, partners who never disclose their status and married people who go out sleep around and bring the virus to their spouses at home.

“Those who judge people with HIV are very unfair because living with the virus is a burden itself and when people also discriminate against you with all sorts of judgement, it becomes worse. It is unfortunate, it is a bad thing, and I detest it.”

FINDING MY WINGS AGAIN

The first thing I did was let go of the anger I had towards my boyfriend. He did not even ask for forgiveness, but I forgave him anyway - for my peace of mind. I would walk this new journey with a sound mind.

I was diagnosed with HIV in January 2017 and I can firmly say I have positively lived with HIV for Four (4) years. Discovering my positive HIV status was a redefining moment in my life because it helped me to find the need to advocate for the rights of persons living with HIV and above all fight stigma against people living with HIV.

It’s after I tested positive for HIV that I discovered the majority of the population in Uganda lack new information regarding HIV for instance Undetectable = Untransmittable which is a great success story in HIV science. I decided to use my story to pass on information regarding HIV treatment and Prevention. Being an HIV positive person with an undetectable viral load, I believe my story can help those struggling to adhere to HIV treatment because of the benefit that comes with adhering to treatment such as achieving undetectable viral load and living a healthy life that helps one prevent acquiring AIDS.

Aporo was recently presented with a Courage Award by Haven Anti-AIDS Foundation for boldly sharing her status and for the tremendous work she is doing to prevent new infections among the youth

37 | eYs Magazine, Autumn 2021