Not Something I Ate

I am convinced FA saved my life. We were on vacation seeing the sites and visiting family when I began to feel vaguely uneasy. I noticed some bloating and fleeting abdominal pain that I had never had before. I was eating my abstinent meals, so I was confident it was not something I ate. I had no digestive difficulties or problems with my appetite, but I mentioned the pain to my sponsor on our usual call. She asked me to monitor it. My sister, who is a nurse, reminded me that we both have the same type of abdominal hernia. We decided that could be the problem, so she advised getting it checked once we returned home.

We arrived home on Saturday night of a long holiday weekend, and I decided to wait to see my doctor the following Tuesday. That night, however, I awoke with pain and asked my Higher Power for guidance. I was terrified of losing my abstinence, which I had maintained for nearly six months. I decided that as my doctor’s office was closed for the holiday weekend, I would go to the ER the next morning to get the pain checked out. I called my sponsor the next morning and told her that I thought it was time to go to the ER. As I was not in so much pain that I felt the need to go in right away, she suggested that I eat my breakfast and pack my abstinent lunch, just in case.

A CT scan quickly revealed acute appendicitis, with a swollen but not ruptured appendix that had to be removed that day. “Have you eaten today?” someone asked me. “Yes, at 7:00 a.m.” I listed the amount and type of food I ate for my abstinent breakfast. The doctor and nurses were impressed had the exact answer to that question, and the doctor said, “This is wonderful. We know exactly when to operate.” It was not a long wait from that moment.

Again, I called my sponsor. I told her what happened, and asked her what to do, as I would be in surgery during my normal lunch time. She suggested I skip lunch and, if I was still at the hospital, could eat the food I had brought for dinner. The operation was performed without complication, and I was discharged. Home by 3:00 p.m., I napped, and then had my dinner just as planned, with no problems, then or since.

After my appendicitis surgery, I have experienced a rapid, complete recovery, which I attribute in part to the simple and nourishing food we eat. I believe my new body awareness helped me define my need for medical attention before the situation became dangerous. Before Program, I would have spent weeks in denial. Now I know that it’s not obesity, eating habits, weight, or ill health causing my issues. I no longer suffer high cholesterol, insulin resistance, or acid reflux. Doctors and nurses can easily examine me now that I am close to being right-sized. The shame and embarrassment about my size are a thing of the past. I have more body awareness, and I am eating with integrity and simplicity. I am truly grateful for the physical health and recovery I am experiencing, and for my sponsor and this community that is helping me to heal at every level along the way.

When I entered FA, I just wanted to lose weight. I had tried everything friends, family, and doctors suggested, but I was unsuccessful. After seven months, I have released about 60 pounds, but even better, I have found a way of life that is not only sustainable, but life-giving. When I had a problem that I didn’t know how to handle, my sponsor gave me a suggestion that helped me to stay abstinent. Thank you, God, I am in a program where I never have to make decisions alone.