Jan/Feb 2020

THEOLOGY 101

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE GROW+GO

JO COMFORTS CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN ABUSED MEN’S CONFERENCE

Celebrating 20 years of FAITH Magazine

ON THE ROAD AND OFF, PATRICK WANTS MEN TO ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE AND ATTEND THE MEN’S CONFERENCE

‘ I came to know that

God loved me z I was forgiven’

Kathy finds healing at Rachel’s Vineyard retreats 1

WENTY YEARS AGO, Bishop Carl Mengeling and Father Charlie Irvin opened an office in the Diocese

of Lansing to start FAITH magazine. They took a chance on me, a former seminarian and ad guy, to launch a new magazine and website. FAITH was more than a new magazine. It was a new idea in diocesan media and a direct response to St. John Paul II’s call for a new evangelization.

The vision that sets FAITH apart is what we call “content evangelization” – the idea that the primary purpose of Catholic media is more than news and information. It’s evangelization. FAITH Catholic’s vision is that you, our readers, can become better evangelists by receiving FAITH magazine. We hope it helps you grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ. When you share your issue of FAITH magazine with a neighbor or family members, when you follow us on social media and “like” a post, when you forward our weekly enews to a coworker, you evangelize.

Over these two short decades, FAITH magazine has evolved into FAITH Catholic, America’s largest publisher of Catholic magazines, and one of America’s largest Catholic media and marketing services companies. From one magazine in

Bishop Earl Boyea and FAITH Catholic staff celebrate the 20th anniversary of FAITH magazine

1999 to its present multimedia company, FAITH Catholic has grown to serve 40 dioceses and 19 Catholic organizations.

FAITH Catholic publishes 60 print periodicals that reach a combined circulation of 2,203,710 – more than any other Catholic publisher in North America. FAITH Catholic’s 284 products and media outlets include 58 digital publications, 61 websites and 84 other products sold to parishes the world over. FAITH Catholic’s MassTimes.org and the MassTimes app continue to be the gold standard PATRICK for parish and Mass times information, M. O’BRIEN serving millions annually. is the founding I thank God for blessing this ministry. president and I thank you, our readers, for your CEO of FAITH prayers and support. I thank our pastors Catholic for their commitment to make sure every Catholic home receives FAITH. I thank Bishop Boyea, Father Dwight Ezop and our board of directors. I thank our staff, columnists and freelancers.

All of you made it possible for this ministry to reach the 20-year milestone. On a personal note, I thank Bishop Carl Mengeling and Father Charlie Irvin for taking a chance on me 20 years ago and providing me with my life’s work.

Celebrating 20 years of FAITH magazine are Founding Publisher Bishop Carl Mengeling, FAITH Catholic Vice President Elizabeth Solsburg, FAITH Catholic Founding President and CEO Patrick M. O’Brien, FAITH Catholic Board Chairman Father Dwight Ezop and Founding Editor Father Charlie Irvin

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FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

T. Gennara

T

TOM GENNARA

of FAITH magazine

FAITH magazine grew into America’s largest publisher of Catholic magazines

FROM THE BISHOP

I ask your renewed prayers as our Diocese

ON DEC. 7, the bishops of Michigan and Ohio (17 of us) flew to Rome for our ad limina visits. Ad limina means “to the thresholds,” and so we went to the tombs of the apostles, Peter and Paul, said Mass there and sought their apostolic blessings upon the universal Church and upon our dioceses. Thus, this was a pilgrimage. For bishops, such a pilgrimage is spiritually both necessary and grace-filled. We bishops, as a group, are the continuation of the Apostolic College in union with our Holy Father. So, it is always good to go back to our roots.

According to Canon Law, this pilgrimage is to take place every five years. However, because there are more than 5,000 bishops in the world, it is simply impractical for all of us to keep to such a schedule.

In fact, the last time the Michigan and Ohio bishops made this journey was almost eight years ago.

In preparation for this pilgrimage, each diocese prepares a rather lengthy report on the state of the diocese covering the past seven years. We highlighted the evangelization efforts of our diocese, which have been substantial; the merger and clustering of a number of our parishes; the solid financial situation

enters 2020.

BISHOP EARL BOYEA

is the fifth bishop of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing @BishopBoyea

Carlson Productions

MEETING WITH POPE FRANCIS

of Lansing

of the diocese after significant cuts in 2008 and a wonderful Witness to Hope campaign; our Faith in Flint initiative; and a focus on trying to create a culture of vocations.

This report is sent to Rome where it is divided up among the various dicasteries (kind of cabinets for the Holy Father). When we visited the various dicasteries for the week we were in Rome, some of these matters came up.

Of course, one of the highlights of our pilgrimage was the meeting the Ohio and Michigan bishops had with the Holy Father on Dec. 10. There are no set speeches, but rather he allows the bishops to pose any questions or issues they wish to raise at the gathering.

We stayed at the North American College just outside of the Vatican. This is the seminary in Rome for seminarians from the United States. I studied there many years ago in preparation for ordination to the priesthood. In fact, I was ordained a deacon in Rome, an event to which my parents were able to come, involving my mom on her first airplane flight.

Know that I have prayed for all of you at the tombs of Saints Peter and Paul. I ask your renewed prayers as our Diocese of Lansing enters 2020. May all of us experience the closeness of God and the fullness of the Holy Spirit and so be drawn ever more deeply to that eternal salvation which we all seek.

May all of us experience the closeness of God and the fullness of the Holy Spirit and so be drawn ever more deeply to that eternal salvation which we all seek.”

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FROM THE EDITOR

Thank you, readers, for 20 years of FAITH I

GOT MY FIRST EXPERIENCE of working on a magazine while I was still a seminarian at Mundelein Seminary in Chicago. During my time there, I had become the editor

of The Bridge, which at that time was the school’s semiannual newsletter to alumni and friends of the seminary.

T.Gennera

During my time as editor, a young Lansing seminarian named Patrick O’Brien joined the staff of The Bridge. Patrick came to Mundelein with an extensive background in publishing and advertising. As the seminary prepared to celebrate its 75th anniversary in 1997, Patrick felt The Bridge should be completely revamped, transforming it from a newsletter into a FATHER full-fledged and full-color magazine. Patrick convinced me that as editor DWIGHT EZOP all I had to do was walk into the rector’s office, present a mock-up of is the editor of what a seminary magazine could look like, get the rector to agree to the FAITH Magazine change, and then ask for several thousand dollars in order to purchase an and pastor of Apple Macintosh computer and some very expensive magazine publishing St. Mary Parish, software. Somehow, despite my trepidation, it turned out to be just about Charlotte and as simple as Patrick had outlined. The rector agreed to the concept, funds St. Ann Church, were allocated, equipment and software was purchased, and The Bridge Bellevue became a magazine. And thus the idea that would eventually become Email: editor@ FAITH Magazine began to take shape.

FAITHpub.com.

Father Charlie Irvin, the founding editor of FAITH, was also my pastor while I was in seminary. He saw and very much liked The Bridge. It also happened that Bishop Carl Mengeling, who was then bishop of the Diocese of Lansing, was looking for a new and innovative way to reach out to the people of our diocese as part of the New Evangelization that was so important to St. John Paul II. Father Charlie and Bishop Mengeling both became convinced that the best way to do this would be through a completely brand-new concept – a diocesan magazine that would tell stories of faith by sharing the faith of the people of the diocese. It would combine beautiful and faith-filled stories with beautiful images and design to become a new means of connecting Jesus with people of faith and people who were seeking faith in God. Patrick O’Brien, who just two years earlier had been instrumental in transforming The Bridge, had left seminary. He hadn’t left behind his faith or his creativity, and he was eager to help with the idea of FAITH. Working with Bishop Mengeling, Father Charlie and several other priests of our diocese, a concept for FAITH was created and envisioned as a way of launching our diocesan celebration of the New Millennium.

In the summer of 1999 a small office for FAITH was procured at the diocese. With a tiny staff that included Father Charlie Irvin, Patrick O’Brien, Jillane Job and several others, the work of FAITH began. Our first issue was published in January 2000, and what started as an idea became a reality with the support and creativity of so many. You can learn how FAITH has grown by reading Patrick O’Brien’s column on page 2. I joined the staff in 2000 as associate editor and was appointed editor in chief in July 2001. Suffice to say, I could never have imagined what FAITH would become over the last 20 years. My thanks go to Bishop Mengeling and Bishop Boyea for their support and guidance. Thanks to the many who have allowed us to share their stories of faith through the years. Thanks to the very talented staff, writers and contributers whose creative genius makes possible the work of FAITH in what has become a multi-faceted company. Thanks to the parishes and pastors whose financial support continues to make FAITH available to the people of our diocese. Thanks to our readers who encourage and challenge us. Thanks to those who pass each issue of FAITH along to neighbors, family or friends. Most of all, thanks be to God for the gift of faith we have the honor to share on these pages. And so, our journey in FAITH continues.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

GETTY IMAGES/SEDMAK

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JAN. 1, 2020

Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God Jan. 1 is the Solemnity of Mary, the Holy Mother of God. As the Mother of God, the Virgin Mary has a unique position among the saints – indeed, among all creatures. She is exalted, yet still one of us. Mary embraces God’s will and freely chooses to cooperate with God’s grace, thereby fulfilling a crucial role in God’s plan of salvation.

Throughout the centuries, the Church has turned to the Blessed Virgin in order to come closer to Christ. The Church honors her as the Mother of God, looks to her as a model of perfect discipleship and asks for her prayers to God on our behalf. (USCCB)

INSIDE JAN./FEB.

P. 6

P. 14

COVER STORY ‘I CAME TO KNOW THAT GOD LOVED ME AND I WAS FORGIVEN’ – KATHY FINDS HEALING AT RACHEL’S VINEYARD RETREATS P. 16

YOUR LIFE

YOUR STORIES

6 marriage matters

20 men’s conference

She says: “I want him to

choose a Christmas gift for me.” He says: “Why can’t she tell me what she wants?” What do they do?

7 parenting

Giving your children gifts

they truly need

work life

Do I have to go to the office

Christmas gathering?

8 culture

Wesołych Świąt

Bożego Narodzenia!

(Merry Christmas!)

YOUR FAITH

10 grow+go

• What difference does Christmas make for our lives?

• Jo comforts children who have been abused

12 in the know with Father Joe Do I need to confess the same sins over and over?

14 theology 101 The Ghost of Christmas Future

On the road and off, Patrick wants men to Accept the Challenge and attend the men’s conference

FOLLOW FAITHMAG SHARE YOUR FAITH WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FOLLOWERS

21 feature story Consecration of Virgins Living in the World

PLUS

22 special report

P. 8

2019 USCCB Fall General Assembly

24 goodlife

When relatives make insensitive comments …

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YOUR LIFE

MARRIAGE MATTERS

SHE SAYS:

‘I want him to choose a Christmas gift for me.’

I want John to surprise me with a Christmas gift, but he always just asks me what I want, and it doesn’t seem as meaningful. After all these years, he should know me well enough to know what I want.

HE SAYS:

‘Why can’t she tell me what she wants?’

When we were first married, I bought Alicia some gifts, but I never saw her use them, so I just gave up. I want to get her something she will use.

Giving gifts is a great way to show love, but it’s not the WHAT DO only way. In fact, depending THEY DO? on the circumstances, it may not even be the best way. The runaway bestseller, The Five Love Languages, identifies five primary ways people communicate love: gifts (i.e., objects), words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time together and physical touch.

Problems can arise when spouses try to show their love, but fail because each is speaking it in a different language. For example, if, in the situation here, Alicia’s preferred language is giving gifts, and John’s is doing acts of service (like making sure she gets something she will use), then it could be time for some remedial language studies for both.

For Alicia: Even if you have a knack for finding gifts that hit John’s sweet spot, not everyone does. In fact, to 6

STEVE AND BRIDGET PATTON

hold master’s degrees in theology and counseling and serve as family life ministers for the Diocese of Sacramento.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

some people shopping for gifts can be an agony.

So trust that your husband is doing the best he can.

And if acts of service is his primary love language, then consider that it would be a great gift from you to him if, as an act of service spoken to him in his language, you would advise him about what would be a great gift that he could get for you.

For John: Don’t sweat finding the perfect gift for her.

She might have that talent, but that doesn’t mean you have to. What likely matters most to her is that you’re trying to show love in a way that resonates with her.

So unless you positively know that she would dislike that scented candle, just get it. Whether she ends up using it doesn’t so much matter, not to her anyway.

What matters is that you gave it to her with love.

Human beings are made in the image of self-giving Love Itself. This means that each of us “cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.”

(Gaudium et Spes, 24) Spouses are entrusted with a sacred mission not only to fully give themselves to one another, but also to fully receive the gift that is the other. Sometimes this means learning new ways to speak love – and new ways of hearing it spoken.

YOUR LIFE PARENTING

In the first chapter of James, we read, “Every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father …” Even though we know the perfect gifts are from above, we still invest many hours and dollars finding the perfect gifts for our children. We give kids stuff and things and opportunities, but big, more and GETTY IMAGES/DIGITAL VISION

shiny don’t make a gift perfect. So here are four suggestions to help in your gift search:

GIVING YOUR CHILDREN GIFTS THEY TRULY NEED

•A sk two big questions: Who is this gift really for? Am I giving it to impress or to show true love?

• The perfect gifts come from the Father, so the Father is the perfect gift. Cultivating a relationship with Jesus together is priceless.

Giving the gift of time for reading Scripture, praying or going to adoration together is a gift that builds strong children of God who are equipped to deal with the chaos, temptations and worries of the world.

Do I have to go to the office Christmas gathering?

YOUR LIFE WORK LIFE

Holiday celebrations are in full swing and the company’s Christmas gathering is on the horizon. If you don’t wish to attend, is there a way to bow out gracefully without looking like a grinch?

Take time to determine the company’s unwritten expectations before deciding on a course of action. Ask yourself ...

1. Is tension with co-workers discouraging your attendance?

This may be a great opportunity to connect in a more relaxed setting. Pray for the courage to attend and for an opening to make that connection.

2. Are you on a new diet plan you aren’t sure how to handle?

•T hink little! Kids don’t need big trips and fancy adventures; they want to play cards after supper or have a peanut butter and jelly picnic in the living room.

Our kids need our presence, our laughter and our stories more than a rollercoaster or a new device. They need us now – spontaneously playing together in our pajamas – way more than a trip scheduled for next summer.

•S kip the wrapping.

SHERI WOHLFERT Truly precious gifts is a Catholic are simple, cheap and school teacher, don’t fit in a gift bag. speaker, writer Taking the time to and founder of fish or throw rocks in Joyful Words a pond, walk in your Ministries. Sheri neighborhood on a blogs at www. quiet winter night joyfulwords.org or play ball in the driveway are perfect gifts because simple is memorable.

Charter fishing trips, ski lodge adventures and tickets to the big game all look good on social media, but aren’t what our kids are craving.

The Father’s gifts of which St. James spoke are the gifts that come from the heart of a Father who loves us and wants the best for us. Those are the gifts our children need, and the good news is, they are easier, cheaper and life-changing.

Maybe you don’t trust yourself to stay on track with so many temptations around. If it’s a potluck, why not find a new recipe that follows your way of eating and contribute that?

3. If it’s happy hour and alcohol isn’t in your plan, that’s an easy skip. Order a sparkling water with lime. It is also acceptable to pop in and say hi without partaking in a single drop or bite of anything.

4. Are you simply too busy with other holiday gatherings and commitments? If you feel you can’t drop in at all, genuine honesty is best. Everyone is busy this time of year and most people will understand. However, don’t underestimate the impact of a quick visit.

Remember, the more opportunities we open ourselves to, the more God can use us as his hands and feet. Pray for the wisdom to discern the decision that allows God to move this holy season.

BY CYNTHIA KAAN

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Oplatki (plural) are thin wafers stamped with a Christmas scene, and are part of a beautiful tradition that dates back many centuries in Poland

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WESOŁYCH ŚWIĄT BOŻEGO NARODZENIA! (Merry Christmas!)

YOUR LIFE CULTURE

T. Gennara

FEW MONTHS AGO, I was unpacking my 5-year-old’s overnight bag after a sleepover at his cousin’s house. Inside, I came across a small plastic bag containing a broken piece of a flat wafer-like substance. I studied it, and on it was a simple imprinted image of the Holy Family. I asked my son what it was. He lifted his hands up and said with his signature lisp, “Iths Polith Chrithmath bread, Mom!” His response was so matterof-fact – as if I should already have a perfect understanding of what he was talking about.

But in reality, I had no idea.

A

each family member or loved one, oldest to youngest, continues with the breaking of the unleavened bread and sharing their Christmas wishes and blessings for each other. When the ritual is finished, everyone sits down for a simple meal before the midnight Mass.

This beautiful tradition is still popular today throughout Eastern Europe, and even here in the United States amongst families of Polish descent.

I just learned that many parishes here in our area provide oplatki Christmas wafers to parishioners, which is where my brother-in-law gets them for his family. Being Polish, he grew up practicing the beautiful tradition of the breaking of the bread, and now shares the custom with his own family. As for the remaining wafers, those are used by his children to “play Mass” at home. Hence, the leftover broken piece my sister-in-law placed in my 5-year-old’s bag at the end of his sleepover with his cousins.

I am so grateful that this entire tradition was revealed to me recently, as I was not previously familiar with it. But it is an enduring custom and, though I am not Polish, I am inclined to adopt the tradition for my own family!

MICHELLE DIFRANCO

is a designer and the busy mom of three children.

Q: WHERE DO I GET OPLATKI? A: Some parishes sell or distribute them during the Advent season, but there are many sources online that sell them.

Q: WHY ARE SOME OPLATKI PINK? A: The pink wafers are made exclusively for pets, which traditionally symbolize the animals that were present at Christ’s birth.

In a moment of bizarre coincidence, a week later, I received an email from the editorial director of FAITH suggesting that I write about the oplatki Polish Christmas tradition. I had never heard of it, so I did some research online. A bunch of photos of that same flat wafer with imprinted images of the Nativity popped up! I then had a reference as to what was in my son’s bag. An oplatek!

Oplatki (plural) are thin wafers stamped with a Christmas scene, and are part of a beautiful tradition that dates back many centuries in Poland. A priest blesses the oplatki and he or another religious member then distributes them to families to recall the eucharistic presence of Jesus at Mass. The families return home with them, carrying a blessed reminder of the meaning of the Christmas season.

The customary practice varies slightly from family to family, but it commonly begins with the father or eldest member of the family taking the oplatek and breaking a large piece off to give to his wife. He may share what he is thankful for, wish her a blessing or even ask for forgiveness. She breaks a piece off and reciprocates with a sentiment or blessing for her husband. Then PHOTOGRAPHY BY SHANE FOLKERTSMA

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YOUR FAITH

GROW

as a disciple of Jesus

Christmas What difference does

make for our lives?

IN RECENT YEARS, usually around the beginning of November, I’ve noticed a growing trend of Christians and non-Christians debating, arguing over and defending “the true meaning of Christmas.” Emotions run high; phrases such as “war on Christmas” and “materialism gone wild” are thrown about with either a tone of triumphant smugness or Scroogian hand-wringing. Easily lost in this news-cycle fodder is the actual meaning of Christmas. What are we celebrating? Why does it justify feasting, presents and time off?

What difference does Christmas make for our lives?

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Michael Buble and think about that for a second. God became man so we might become God. Unbelievable, overwhelming and awesome, this action of God should stop us in our PETE BURAK tracks and inspire us to the same is the director of response as the angels on Christmas i.d.9:16.

He has a night: “And suddenly there was a master’s degree multitude of the heavenly host with in theology, and the angel, praising God and saying, is a frequent ‘Glory to God in the highest ...’” (Lk speaker at events 2:13-14) The most authentic and pure for youth and response to Christmas is humble, young adults. awestruck and joyful praise! We have new access to hope, joy, peace and love because of what happened in that little cave in Bethlehem. So, before we begin thanking Santa, watching our favorite holiday movie, gaining a few pounds or dashing through the snow, let’s stop and praise our King and Savior, for he truly is the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas!

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

T.Gennera

In short, the feast of Christmas celebrates and memorializes an event of eternal consequence. The divine plan of redemption, or God’s dramatic rescue mission to save us from the effects of sin and death, kicks into high gear with the birth of Jesus Christ.

Our entire Catholic faith hinges on whether or not God became man. We believe that Jesus is fully God and fully man. The Incarnation mysteriously unites God with us and ensures the means of our salvation.

His birth in Bethlehem begins a journey that leads to the cross, by which humanity’s separation from God is healed and restored. The new life unlocked by Christ’s death and resurrection is then given to those who believe, receive and live through it. The same Holy Spirit that raised Jesus from the grave now raises us from the dead to live united with God forever in heaven. St. Thomas Aquinas famously said, “The onlybegotten Son of God, wishing to enable us to share in his divinity, assumed our nature, so that by becoming man he might make us gods.” (Opusc. 57:1-4; emphasis mine) Wow. Put down your pie, pause your Disney+, turn off

GO Jo comforts children

evangelize

who have been abused

Mother of three grown children, grandma to six and a member of Queen of the Miraculous Medal Parish in Jackson, Jo Hooper shares a mother’s warmth volunteering at the Child Advocacy Center at Catholic Charities of Jackson.

You never know when words or actions may provoke a yearning to seek a more in-depth closeness to God.”

PRAYER: Prayer is essential in the area I volunteer in.

My job is greeter and hostess. Children who have allegedly been sexually or physically abused go there to be interviewed. It is the goal of the professional team to determine if prosecution is appropriate.

I pray first for the victim, who may have undergone a horrific experience. I pray for myself that I will find friendly, comforting, distracting words to put the person at ease, so they can give a clear and complete interview. Lastly, I pray for the professional team who has the important job of establishing the truth and subsequent action to be taken.

INVITATION: Catholic Charities welcomes and serves people of all faiths or even no faith at all. It is my

hope that during the couple hours of interaction we have with each family, they feel the caring, healing love of Jesus.

WITNESS: There are opportunities during my playtime with the younger children, and conversations with the teens and caretakers, to tuck God’s name into the scenario. The families who come are most likely equating Catholic Charities with an organization of faith-filled people helping to do God’s work. You never know when words or actions may provoke a yearning to seek a more in-depth closeness to God. ACCOMPANIMENT: What comes from volunteering at the Child Advocacy Center not only helps those being interviewed, but also helps me. It brings a greater awareness of the grave situations our most vulnerable occasionally experience. Sometimes, the victims or their caretakers share their story with me, and sometimes they do not. That doesn’t matter; I understand why they are there and try to show as much empathy as I can during their short time at the center.

STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIKE FRIESEMAN

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T. Gennara

FATHER JOE KRUPP

is a former comedy writer who is now a Catholic priest. @Joeinblack

GETTY IMAGES

The second thing I would offer you is to make sure you are taking some time to prepare. Sometimes, our astute awareness of our habitual sins can take our eyes off other areas of our lives that are crying out for God’s mercy and healing. I want to share a brief examination of conscience that I’ve offered people to help them in their efforts. You can find it, and more resources, on catholicnewsagency.com.

Do I need to confess the same sins over and over?

Q

DEAR FATHER JOE: Every time I go to confession, I seem to say the same things. It is very discouraging to me and I don’t know what to do.

A God gave us the gift of the sacrament of reconciliation so that we can grow in our awareness of our sin and in our experience of his mercy.”

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First, let me suggest that you do know what to do because you are going to confession.

Start with that wonderful thought: whatever else you are struggling with, you are only struggling with it because you are “in the fight.”

With that, let me see if I can’t help you with this discouragement.

I’ll begin by reaffirming my first point: The fact that you are going to confession is a very, very good thing. Too many people neglect this amazing sacrament, very much to their detriment. God gave us the gift of the sacrament of reconciliation so that we can grow in our awareness of our sin and in our experience of his mercy. I truly believe that if we all made more of an effort to avail ourselves of this, our Church would be a better place. In this day and age when so much wickedness cries out for our attention, we absolutely need to make sure that we are going after the sins we know we are called to deal with: our own.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

•

• •

• •

•

•W hen was my last good confession? Did I receive Communion or other sacraments while in the state of mortal sin? Did I intentionally fail to confess some mortal sin in my previous confession?

Did I willfully and seriously doubt my faith, or put myself in danger of losing it by reading literature hostile to Catholic teachings or by getting involved with non-Catholic sects? Did I engage in superstitious activities: palm reading, fortune telling?

Did I take the name of God in vain? Did I curse or take a false oath? Did I use bad language?

Did I miss Mass on a Sunday or a holy day of obligation through my own fault, without any serious reason? Did I fast and abstain on the prescribed days?

Did I disobey my parents or lawful superiors in important matters?

Was I selfish in how I treated others, especially my spouse, my brothers and sisters, my relatives, or my friends? Did I hatefully quarrel with anyone, or desire revenge? Did I refuse to forgive? Did I cause physical injury or even death? Did I get drunk? Did I take illicit drugs? Did I consent to, advise, or actively take part in an abortion?

Did I willfully look at indecent pictures or watch immoral movies? Did I read immoral books or magazines? Did I engage in impure jokes or conversations? Did I willfully entertain impure

thoughts or feelings? Did I commit impure acts, alone or with others? Did I take contraceptive or abortifacient pills, or use other artificial means in order to prevent conception?

• Did I steal or damage another's property? How much? Have I made reparation for the damages done? Have I been honest in my business relations?

• Did I tell lies? Did I sin by slander? By detraction - telling unknown grave faults of others without necessity? Did I judge others rashly in serious matters? Have I tried to make restitution for any damage of reputation that I have caused?

A good examination is important. I also like to add, “For any sins I have forgotten” at the end of my confession, just to make sure I’ve got my bases covered.

I think that, once we’ve done these things, we need to remember what we are there for. The goal of this beautiful sacrament is nothing less than transformation: We give God our garbage, he gives us himself – wow.

At least part of this transformation is the recognition that it is not primarily about our performance: doing good more often than sinning.

It is primarily about learning to receive from God that which he gives us. For St. Paul, he hits this really hard in Romans and writes about how his sin and his struggles with sin teach him about God’s mercy.

Obviously, we do not sin so that we can see how deep his love runs, but we do recognize that Jesus’ victory over sin is at both ends of the equation: Jesus is victorious when we don’t sin and he is victorious when we give him those times that we do sin. That is how complete Jesus’ mastery over sin is: Our sin cannot win unless we do not give our sin to God. By confessing sins over and over, we are allowing God’s love and mercy not only to wear down our sins, but also embed deep within us a sense of his mercy. At no point will God give up on you, so it is incumbent upon you to never give up. Do not let the foolish sin of pride keep us from confessing everything we need to, even if we feel like we confess over and over. God’s mercy will win – that’s a fact. We are going to be faithful to the process.

So, don’t give up. Keep praying, keep pushing.

Bring your sins before your heavenly Father and let him do what he is literally dying to: give you his mercy and love.

Enjoy another day in God’s presence.

YOUR FAITH IN THE KNOW WITH FATHER JOE

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THE GHOST OF

CHRISTMAS FUTURE

GETTY IMAGES/DAVE RHEAUME ARTIST

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FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

IN LAST MONTH’S ISSUE, FAITH’s Theology 101 column focused on The Ghost of Christmas Past and the Ghost of Christmas Present in “An Advent Carol.” This column brings us forward to The Ghost of Christmas Future and the third task of Advent: abiding in the belief that Christmas Day not only celebrates Christ’s dwelling among us, but also looks forward to his Second Coming.

Let us remember that, as Catholics, Advent calls us to much more than shopping and busy-ness during this important season. As we read in the catechism, “The coming of God's Son to earth is an

The ability to wait well, or abide, depends in large part, of course, on having the proper expectation. If our expectation is exclusively temporal as had been Scrooge’s expectation – namely, the accumulation of wealth in this life only – our waiting will be marked with unrest and anxiety as the object of our expectation swings between fulfillment and non-fulfillment.

The passage of time serves to remind us that if our expectation is not met in time, it will not be met at all. In the case of Jesus’ Second Coming, the proper expectation is situated in the eternal. The fulfillment or non-fulfillment of this expectation is not affected at all by the passage of time, for the fulfillment of Jesus’ promise is independent of time.

YOUR FAITH THEOLOGY 101

event of such immensity that God willed to prepare for it over centuries. He makes everything converge on Christ: all the rituals and sacrifices, figures and symbols of the 'First Covenant.' He announces him through the mouths of the prophets who succeeded one another in Israel.” (522)

THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE: THE TASK TO ABIDE

GETTY IMAGES/DAVE RHEAUME ARTIST

CHRISTMAS MORNING

When Scrooge awakens to learn that he has not missed Christmas Day, he is overjoyed and determined to act. His charity pledge, his purchase of the prize turkey for the Cratchit family and his spending Christmas with his nephew all demonstrate what he has learned from the three ghosts. He has indeed remembered who he is; he will enter completely into the present celebration; and he will abide in the belief that Tiny Tim does not have to die at such a young age.

The question remains: Will we learn the lessons of the three ghosts as did Scrooge and embrace the three tasks of Advent? On Christmas Day, will we feel that same immensity of joy when the meaning of Advent, and the entire Christian journey, rings out in song: “We remember how you loved us to your death, and still we celebrate for you are with us here. And we believe that we will see you, when you come, in your glory Lord.

We remember, we celebrate, we believe.”

S. OLSON

The imposing figure of the third ghost, without speaking a word, reveals to Scrooge the fruit of a life lived in an all-consuming selfishness: death. Scrooge, in this one night, has already relived the loss of loved ones in the past and experienced the loss of the joy in life in the present. He now sees that his self-centered ways will lead to both his own unremarkable death, devoid of mourners, and to the death of Tiny Tim. He realizes that just because he believes himself to be unrelated to his neighbors does not mean that, in reality, his life, and how he leads it, does not affect his neighbors.

From this moment, Scrooge must make a decision to continue in his own selfish ways – elevating the acquisition of money above his fellow human beings – or to turn his life totally upside down (which in this case would be right side up). What future will he believe in: the one that leads to both his death and the death of Tiny Tim, or the one that leads to life?

This brings us to the third task of Advent that challenges us to not only believe, but to abide in the belief that Christmas Day not only remembers Christ’s Nativity in the past and celebrates Christ’s dwelling among us in the present, but also looks forward to Christ’s Second Coming at the end of time. The four weeks of Advent, then, invite us into a period of intentional waiting and prayer. Even more difficult, it calls us to live in a way that manifests our true belief in Christ’s coming. In other words, abiding looks like something.

DOUG CULP

is the CAO and secretary for pastoral life for the Diocese of Lexington, Ky. He holds an MA in theology from Catholic Theological Union in Chicago.

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YOUR STORIES

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‘ I came to know that

God loved me z I was forgiven’

K

ATHY DEY has been on a hero’s journey through death and shame, until a spirit led

her to a life of love and greater joy than she ever imagined. As with the best adventures, ours revolves around an unlikely hero.

“I am unremarkable. I’m a middle-class girl who became a teacher, wife and mother. I have volunteered for pro-life causes and regularly attended church on Sundays, but always felt a distance between God’s love and me. For over four decades, I felt God could not love me because I had an abortion.

“My story isn’t compelling. As a young teen, I was

flattered when the 17-year-old neighbor boy took an interest in me. He boosted my self-esteem, so I didn’t say ‘no’ even when he wanted me to do things I knew were wrong. When, finally, I did say ‘no,’ he didn’t stop.

“I didn’t have many friends, and my parents were busy with their jobs and marital problems. When I missed my period, I began to worry. After another month passed without a period, fear gripped me and wouldn’t let go. How would I tell my parents? Would I survive delivery? What if my friends find out? How am I going to raise a child?

“Finally, I confided in a friend. She and her mother took me to Planned Parenthood, where my fears were confirmed.

Kathy finds healing at Rachel’s Vineyard retreats

BY NANCY ROSEBUSH SCHERTZING | PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIM LUNING

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“A

T 14, I WAS TOO YOUNG to have an abortion without parental consent. When I told my mom, she was surprisingly calm and

understanding. It turns out she and my father had fears of their own about the pregnancy. We decided it would be best if I had an abortion.

“After the abortion, I resumed the life of a typical teenager, but always feared my friends finding out.

My low self-esteem sunk further as I kept peers at a safe distance from my terrible secret. My parents got divorced a short time later. As time passed, the fear lessened, or I just learned to live with it.

“My sophomore year of college, I got to know a Catholic boy who lived in my dormitory. We became serious pretty quickly, and when I told him about the abortion, he didn’t judge me harshly. We married after college. Soon we were blessed with a son, then, a short time later, a daughter.

Eventually, I converted to Catholicism.

“I hadn’t thought too much about the baby – mostly just as the secret I wanted to keep. But when I held my son and daughter, the protection and love I felt for those little lives overwhelmed me. How could I have killed my earlier child – my first baby? The shame and guilt haunted me. I cried a lot in their first months, but I suffered the grief and tears in silence.

“My old demons – fear and shame – came back with a fury, devouring my confidence and menacing my thoughts. What if my colleagues and family learned my awful secret? How could God love me after I did such an unspeakable thing? I kept my silence even as people around me made hurtful statements about women who have abortions – women like me.

“I begged for God’s forgiveness, though I never believed it was available to me. Through our faith, I came to understand that God can forgive anything. In my head, I knew that meant he could forgive me. But in my heart, I was never sure.

“As my children grew, I became very good at keeping my secret safe. Shame and fear ebbed and flowed through my life. They were constant companions – sometimes almost silent, other times holding me prisoner ... until an angel came to set me free.

“In the middle of winter, I had a dream. A woman in white robes came to the door of my childhood home. She acted as if she wanted to talk to me – not threatening, not judging. But I slammed the door and ran back into the kitchen with Mom and Dad. As I cowered near my parents, the visitor came up from the basement. Beautiful, gentle and utterly terrifying. I woke up and immediately knew I had met my aborted child.

“Questions filled my head. What did she want? Why was she appearing now? How could I escape this shame and fear? That week, my niece posted a link to Rachel’s Vineyard, an organization that helps people recover from social and emotional scars left by abortion. I visited their website and discovered they had a retreat planned in 18

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

COVER STORY

my mind and my heart that God my area within a couple of weeks. I loved me and I was forgiven. decided to attend.

Rachel’s Vineyard is the “The weekend allowed me to “We came into the retreat world’s largest ministry for truly grieve for my unborn baby, experience slowly, meeting the healing after abortion. It and to give her the honor and leaders, the priest and psychologist offers retreat weekends for dignity she deserves. I named her there to help us on our journey. anyone, male and female, Ella and came to know her as my I was surprised to see a man on who has struggled with the daughter, not just the secret I had the team, until I understood the emotional or spiritual pain been hiding from the world. And weekends are open to women and of abortion. Retreat weekwhen we celebrated the naming men. Each retreat team includes ends are designed to help ceremony and memorial service a male who lends comfort and individuals experience the for the children we had aborted, support to other men seeking the mercy and compassion of I released Ella lovingly into God’s healing power of Rachel’s Vineyard.

God and begin the process embrace.

“We all took a solemn vow of of restoration, renewal and “Since that weekend, I have confidentiality for before, during healing. Visit RACHELSattended three more Rachel’s and after the retreat, then our VINEYARD.ORG for more Vineyard retreats, sharing my story leaders began sharing their stories. information. and supporting others on their Sixty percent of retreat leaders journey to healing from abortion. have had abortions. It was the first If I think of my journey as an time I realized I wasn’t alone in onion, for 42 years I have been pulling back a layer the feelings I had spent most of my life trying to hide.

Through sharing, writing and processing messages here and there. But with each retreat I shed multiple layers and grow closer to the life God calls me to live. from the Bible, we found the courage to recognize and “The regret is still there, but the shame is gone. To say address these feelings that had plagued many of us that having an abortion is not worthy of forgiveness is to since our abortions. say I don’t trust God, or that I know better than he does!

“The retreat provided a safe, judgment-free space to “I am unremarkable, but God’s grace and forgiveness think about our babies, even write them a love letter and envision them with God. I’m not sure exactly when is 100 percent remarkable! There is healing. It’s out there. I found it at Rachel’s Vineyard.” it happened, but during the retreat I came to know in

To say that having an abortion is not worthy of forgiveness is to say I don’t trust God, or that I know better than he does!

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MEN’S CONFERENCE

TO N E M TS N A W K IC TR A P , FF O D ON THE ROAD AN E C N E R FE N CO ’S N E M E TH D N E ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE AND ATT

WITH 2.5 MILLION MILES of driving a truck behind him, Patrick has more than earned his stripes. On the road and off, he is raising the call for men to “Accept the Challenge.”

As recruitment captain of his parish and leader of captains in the diocese, his aim is to get as many men as he can to attend. He wants to see hundreds turn to thousands. He’s so committed to the cause, he loaded his car with five men last year just to get them there. But that wasn’t always the case.

As life would have it, he ran into a few bumps along the way.

“My journey started at St. John the Evangelist in Jackson as a cradle Catholic.” says Patrick. “I went to St. John’s Catholic School, was the eldest of 10 and had two very devoted Catholic parents. I’ve made some good choices in my life, but, by far, many, bad choices.

My life spun out of control with material things, sports, work and recreational drugs. Throughout the trials of life, I have been blessed with two beautiful children and nine grandchildren. It wasn’t until I hit bottom and lost everything that I found God. Through the many prayers of my mother, I went back to church. Shortly after, the bulletin had an article on ‘The Man Event,’ and hesitantly, I went.”

That’s right, he “hesitantly” attended his first men’s conference.

Without the distraction of a business deal, a band, a ball or a boat, it can be difficult for men to relate or, heaven forbid, be vulnerable around each other. As Patrick learned, sometimes the biggest part of accepting the challenge is just getting over yourself. Once he did, he realized he wasn’t alone, and he hasn’t looked back since.

“At the men’s conference, everything was open,” he says. “Meeting new men, knowing that I was in the same walk of life as them and they were in the same walk of life that I was. Knowing we’re all great 20

sinners just looking for redemption and finding the truth in Jesus. There’s so much to take away from the men’s conference, but I would say the camaraderie that you develop with other men has the most value.

When you hear their testimonies and nobody judges you for what you did wrong, it’s a big plus.”

For Patrick, attending the men’s conference was the kick start he needed to begin his ministry in the Church.

“After the first men’s conference, I became a lector,” he says, “and I thought, ‘oh gosh, what did I just get myself into to get up in front of 300 people and talk?

But the positive response that I got back from the church was overwhelming, and a couple of months later, they asked me to be a eucharistic minister. Just two months ago, I became a sacristan.”

As a recruiter for the men’s conference, Patrick also sees the broader strategy to mobilize men in leadership and prayer in the diocese.

“The men’s conference is set up throughout the Lansing Diocese, so we have roughly 80 to 90 parishes, so you’re getting input from men that are from geographically different areas, different churches and different classes all in the same belief.

We’re all taking ideas from one another and bringing them back to our home parishes.”

Patrick is excited about the roster of speakers for the 2020 men’s conference. The lineup this year includes Bart Schuchts, Father Larry Richards, Father Mathias Thelen, Philip Taraska and Dan DeMatte, with Bishop Boyea celebrating Mass.

Although the day is loaded with activities and resources, Patrick is most moved during worship.

“Throughout the day, you’re listening to guest speakers and you go to confession if you choose, and then they have a promotional area where vendors are. There’s all different types of organizations that have the pamphlets, books and the materials that you need to further your education or your development in a relationship with Christ, but the most memorable thing, and what I really look forward to, at the men’s conference is when we sing as a group. It’s unbelievable ... it’s beautiful.”

The 2020 Diocese of Lansing Men’s Conference, Accept the Challenge, will be held at the Oosterbaan Field House at the University of Michigan on Feb. 22, 2020. To register, visit ACCEPTTHECHALLENGE.ORG

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

STORY AND PHOTOGRAPHY BY MIKE FRIESEMAN

Consecration of Virgins Living in the World ON SATURDAY, NOV. 16, Dawn Hausmann and Weena Isabelle Gaulin were consecrated by Bishop Earl Boyea at the Mass for the Consecration to a Life of Virginity for Women Living in the World at St. Mary Cathedral in Lansing. Bishop Boyea, the principal celebrant, was joined by nearly 30 clergy from across the Diocese of Lansing. They were assisted by Deacon Randy Desrochers and Deacon Gene Hausmann, Dawn's father.

The music was provided by a joint chorus consisting of the Choir of St. Mary Cathedral; the Choir of the Church of the Resurrection, Lansing; and the Choir of the St. Joseph Shrine, Brooklyn.

In his homily, Bishop Boyea said: “What is to be most noted about today is that this celebration is not about what you do, but about what God does to you through his Church.

You are consecrated, dedicated to the service of the Church and all humanity. True, you offer your gift of your virginity, but it is a gift which the Church then takes and turns from a

lack to a blessing by this act of consecration.”

Dawn Hausmann, director of consecrated vocations, coordinator of young adult ministry and delegate for consecrated life for the Diocese of Lansing, shared her thoughts on how she came to choose this vocation and what it means to her: “I didn't choose this ... Jesus, our ‘wild God,’ wooed me in

his love to say ‘yes’ to To read previous articles this unusual in FAITH magazine about marriage with consecrated virgins, himself, the call please see the issues to be his bride of December 2019, in the midst of March 2018 and June this beautiful 2009 at ISSUU.COM/ but messy FAITHMAGDOL. world, living a life of virginity PHOTOGRAPHY for the kingdom. In my gift to

BY TOM Jesus of ‘radical availability’ GENNARA for himself and his mission of salvation, I know he will use me to bring people to himself. Be it at a pub, in David’s Bridal store, at a tire store or in church, Jesus will be made known to the ones he puts in my path to meet, accompany and share my witness of life and radical love of him, the only One who truly fulfills our hearts’ yearnings!”

Interested in the vocation of consecrated virginity? Visit CONSECRATEDVIRGINS.ORG

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SPECIAL REPORT:

2019 USCCB FALL GENERAL ASSEMBLY F

ROM NOV. 11-13, 2019, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) held its 2019 Fall General Assembly in Baltimore. During the three days of the

General Assembly, bishops elected new officers, approved a budget and supplements to Forming Consciences for Faithful Citizenship and discussed a wide range of topics.

Here are just a few of the highlights: (ABOVE) Members of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops pray together at the beginning of the morning session on the first day of their Fall Meeting in Baltimore.

NEW LEADERSHIP The U.S. Bishops elected new officers at the 2019 Fall General Assembly. Archbishop José H. Gomez of Los Angeles was voted into the office of president of the USCCB. He had been serving as vice president of the conference since 2016. Born in Monterrey, Mexico, and ordained a priest in Spain, Archbishop Gomez becomes the first Latino and the first immigrant to lead the USCCB. Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron of Detroit became the new vice president. Archbishop Timothy P. Broglio, of the Military Services, USA, was elected secretary.

Evangelization: Form a joyful band of missionary disciples of Jesus Christ • Evangelize a culture in need of hope, especially the religiously unaffiliated.

• Communicate more effectively how the faith transforms lives.

STRATEGIC PRIORITIES The U.S. Bishops voted to adopt four strategic priorities for 2021-24. Each priority includes several points of emphasis, including those listed below.

Protect and heal God’s children: Restore integrity, foster virtue • Extend and ensure effective collaboration with the laity.

• Nurture courageous and transparent leadership.

Life and dignity of the human person: Serve the common good as the leaven in a free society • Work to heal the scourge of racism and religious intolerance.

• Protect and defend the dignity of migrants and refugees, of the poor and those on the peripheries

Vocations: Equip all Christ’s disciples for mission • Foster lifelong discernment and formation to fulfill one’s Godgiven vocation • Create a culture that nurtures consecrated life and holy orders The priorities are not in any particular order, as all are important. The priorities are expected to be implemented at next year’s Fall General Assembly.

NEW TEXTS The U.S. bishops approved nearly 300 new hymn texts for the Liturgy of the Hours. The Liturgy of the Hours, also called the Divine Office, constitutes the daily prayer of the Church. It marks the hours of each day and sanctifies them with prayer. It consists of meditative dialogue on the mystery of Christ through Scripture and prayer. (www.usccb.org)

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FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

They also approved the Program of Priestly Formation (PPF), 6th edition, for use in dioceses of the U.S. The PPF identifies four pillars of priestly formation: human, spiritual,

BY DOUGLAS CULP

intellectual and pastoral. These pillars inform the formation of every seminarian who is preparing for the priesthood.

CHRISTINE ROUSSELLE/CNA

A CALL FOR A NEW DOCTOR The honorary title, Doctor of the Church, is bestowed by the pope in recognition of a person’s contribution to the understanding and interpretation of sacred Scripture and the development of Christian doctrine. The Church currently recognizes 36 doctors, and the USCCB added its voice to a call for the pope to make it 37 by naming St. Irenaeus a Doctor of the Church.

St. Irenaeus was born in the 2nd century A.D., and is known for his focus on unity, encouraging all Christians to follow the same theological doctrine and defending the Church against the threats of Gnosticism – the growing belief of salvation by knowledge. Heavily influenced by St. Polycarp, who may have known the apostles or their immediate disciples, St. Irenaeus served as a bishop in Lyon, France. His writings emphasized the importance of early Church traditions and apostolic succession. During a time when the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John varied in popularity and reverence, Irenaeus established all four as canonical Scripture.

1917 U.S. bishops form the National Catholic War Council (NCWC) to make it possible for U.S. Catholics to make donations and to commit personnel to provide spiritual care to those serving in World War I.

St. Irenaeus

2.

Promote writers and artists who highlight the beauty of the Catholic faith.

3.

Stop “dumbing down” the faith. Bishop Barron said, “We have to beef up the intellectual content of our religion classes …”

4.

See the parishes as missionary grounds. Bishop Barron observed, “Young people aren’t going to come to us; we have to go out to them.”

5.

Do effective social ministry outreach through social media. This means investing in good people to manage the social media.

CNS PHOTO/BOB ROLLER

OUTREACH TO YOUNG PEOPLE According to a Catholic News Service report by Carol Zimmermann, Auxiliary Bishop Robert Barron of Los Angeles offered the U.S. Bishops a fivestep plan to help bring “nones,” or the religiously unaffiliated, back into the Church during his address to the body: 1. Lead with social justice.

This means reaching out to young people to engage them in caring for those in need through the corporal works of mercy.

HISTORY OF THE USCCB IN BRIEF

Archbishop Charles J. Chaput

A NEW PASTORAL FRAMEWORK FOR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE Archbishop Charles J. Chaput of Philadelphia announced that a new pastoral framework for marriage and family life should be ready for a vote at least by the 2020 Fall General Assembly, if not sooner. The framework will have four pillars: Prayer & Relationship with Jesus Christ; Formation; Accompaniment; and Advocacy.

1919 U.S. bishops organize the National Catholic Welfare Council in response to the call of Pope Benedict XV for bishops to join him in working for peace and social justice.

1922 The National Catholic Welfare Conference is created to address education, immigration and social action.

1966 The National Conference of Catholic Bishops (NCCB) and the United States Catholic Conference (USCC) are established. The NCCB operated through committees made up exclusively of bishops. The USCC saw committees made up of bishops, lay people, clergy and religious.

2001 On July 1, the NCCB and the USCC are combined to form the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB). (www.usccb.org)

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GETTY IMAGES/MUKHINA1

GOODLIFE

When relatives MAKE INSENSITIVE COMMENTS …

W

ith holidays come family gatherings.

This can be both a blessing and a

burden when relatives do not share the Christian vision of equality among God’s

3.

Seek to have the conversation as privately as possible. If confronted with an audience, you risk putting the individual on the defensive and the truth will be lost in the defense of pride.

made during these celebrations?

4.

Let go and let God. Trust the Holy Spirit’s words to flow through you and speak to the individual’s soul – then let God work.

1.

Invoke the Holy Spirit. The key to this is to pray for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit before you find yourself in the situation. Ask for the courage to defend the respect of all our brothers and sisters in Christ.

We are called to hold each other accountable to God’s teaching in Genesis 1:26 – we are ALL made in the image of God. Trust God’s faithfulness and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, then enjoy your family time.

people. How should you react when inappropriate comments or jokes are

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2.

Gentleness. Patience. Faith.

Meditate on these three fruits of the Holy Spirit and how to utilize them for God’s purpose. Gentleness as you approach the discussion.

Patience as you listen and then as you address the issue. Faith that God will use you for good.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

BY CYNTHIA KAAN

YOUR COMMUNITY DIOCESE OF LANSING PARISHES HOST MOBILE FOOD PANTRY St. Casimir and St. Gerard parishes join other Lansing churches in hosting the monthly Mobile Pantry offered by the city of Lansing and the Greater Lansing Food Bank. Designed to provide assistance to individuals and families choosing between buying food and paying other bills, the Mobile Pantry distributes fresh and non-perishable food items on a firstcome, first-served basis. St. Casimir and St. Gerard each host the pantry twice a year. Cristo Rey Community Center and Lansing Catholic High School have also served as host sites.

St. Gerard will host the next Mobile Pantry on Jan. 18, 2020.

THEOLOGY ON TAP WITH BISHOP BOYEA Bishop Boyea spoke to young adults and took questions on Nov. 18 at the Lansing Brewing Company as part of the Theology on Tap series presented by the Diocese of Lansing. Theology on Tap events offer young adults an opportunity to learn more about the Catholic faith in a relaxed setting. During the event, Bishop Boyea answers questions about faith, morality, politics, books and more. The next Theology on Tap is Tuesday, Jan. 21 at the Spartan Hall of Fame Cafe in East Lansing, beginning at 6:30 p.m.

LOCAL TEENS ATTEND NATIONAL CATHOLIC YOUTH CONFERENCE More than 120 teens and chaperones from the Diocese of Lansing participated in the National Catholic Youth Conference – Blessed. Broken. Given – which took place Nov. 21-23 in Indianapolis. The local youths joined 20,000 others from around the country for three days of encounter, fellowship, formation and inspiration. Bishop Boyea joined the young people from the diocese to concelebrate the opening regional Mass on the first day.

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AGAPÈ CATHOLIC MINISTRIES QUINCEAÑERAS TRAINING

SHARE YOUR NEWS SEND YOUR LOCAL NEWS STORIES TO EDITORIAL@ FAITHMAG.COM

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REPAIRS COMPLETED ON NEW CALVARY CATHOLIC CEMETERY IN FLINT Repairs and modifications to the back and sides of the mausoleum at the New Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Flint are the culmination of efforts over several years to address issues related to the original design and construction. Through the coordinated efforts of Bishop Boyea, diocesan and cemetery staff, the families affected, professionals from CMC-Carrier, DW Lurvey, Gross Construction and Excavating, HRC Engineering, Superior Landscaping, and Flint-area funeral directors, the project is now complete. The design and structural changes were purposeful in their effort to not only repair, but improve upon, the original design, and also to provide beautiful aesthetic improvements to the mausoleum structure.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

On Nov. 1-2, 22 lay ministers from the Diocese of Lansing and other dioceses in Michigan participated in the Agapè Catholic Ministries Quinceañeras Training and Certification Program at St. Francis Retreat Center, presented by Agape instructors Carmen and Rudy Lopez.

One of the religious traditions rooted in the Hispanic community is the celebration of Quinceañeras, when young women turn 15. It is a celebration of the journey from childhood to adulthood, and a time when a young woman’s parents approach their parish to request a Thanksgiving Mass and special blessing for their daughter.

The celebration begins with a religious ceremony at church, followed by a reception. The festivities include food, music and, usually, a choreographed waltz or dance performed by the Quinceañeras and her court (relatives and friends).

The goal of this spiritual and moral formation program is to help young women face the challenges of today’s society, build strong foundations for their future and stay on the path to holiness. It gives them the opportunity to reflect on the presence of God in their life, deepening and anchoring their faith.

The program content teaches the young ladies about the real meaning of the celebration, helps them think about a commitment to lead a Christian life and teaches them that their body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. Teens make a Purity Pledge and prepare for reconciliation before the celebration.

For more information on this program, visit: AGAPECATHOLICMINISTRIES.COM or CATHOLICQUINCEPREP.COM. –S USANA CHAPA VARGAS, COORDINATOR OF HISPANIC MINISTRY, DIOCESE OF LANSING.

LOCAL NEWS

REQUIESCAT IN PACE

TOM GENNARA

Father Ray Urbanek died Nov. 24, 2019, the Solemnity of Christ the King, at the age of 79.

Father Ray served the Diocese of Lansing as a sacramental minister at Good Shepherd in Montrose; as parochial vicar at St. Mary in Mount Morris and St. John the Evangelist in Fenton; and as the pastor at St. Mary in Mount Morris and Holy Family in Ovid prior to retiring to senior priest status in 2012.

A memorial Mass was celebrated Dec. 3 at Holy Family Catholic Church in Ovid. See pages 22-23 in the July/August 2018 issue of FAITH magazine for a feature on Father Ray.

KNIGHTS OF PETER CLAVER AND LADIES AUXILIARY IN FLINT Father DuKette Unit #90 hosted a St. Peter Claver Day Mass and celebration at Christ the King Church in Flint. Father Philip Schmitter, pastor, was the celebrant. Ladies Auxiliary Court #90 received a proclamation from the city of Flint, presented by Mayor Karen Weaver, proclaiming Sept. 8 to be St. Peter Claver Day in Flint, as well as a tribute from the state of Michigan, presented by state Rep. Sheldon Neeley, for outstanding service to the city.

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THINGS TO DO Jan. 9, Thursdays, 6:30 to 8 p.m., St. John the Baptist, Howell, will have a class on Surviving Divorce: Hope and Healing for the Catholic Family. It is 12 consecutive weeks from Jan. 9 to March 26 in Room 14. For information, call the parish office at 517.546.7200.

RETREATS Feb. 15, 9:30 a.m-3 p.m., St. Paul of the Cross Retreat Center, 23333 Schoolcraft, Detroit: The Martha-Mary Balance of Daily Life retreat: Luke’s Gospel story illustrates the tension often faced between attending to God and to worldly things. Prayer, guided reflection, music and movement will be used to help clarify God’s unique plan for you.

To register, call 313.286.2100 or visit stpaulretreat.org.

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Jan. 14, 9 a.m., St. Agnes, 855 E. Grand River Ave. in Fowlerville will host a free breakfast in Lothamer Parish Center prior to the bus trip to Firekeepers Casino. If enough people pre-register, two buses will be chartered. The bus leaves at 10 a.m. and returns at 5:30 p.m.

Cost is $40 and includes roundtrip transportation, $20 in free slot play and $5 for dining, gift shop or slot play. To pre-register, call the parish office at 517.223.8684 or Liz Heslip at Lheslip@sbcglobal.net.

Jan 14, 7 p.m., St. Thomas Aquinas, 955 Alton Rd., East Lansing, will have a DVD study series on Unlocking the Mystery of the Bible. For information and to register, contact Al Weilbaecher at 517.351.5460 or al@elcatholics.org.

Jan 17, 7 p.m., Spiritus Sanctus Academy will have a Pro-Life Euchre Night at its Ann Arbor campus. To learn, a class is at 6:30 p.m. Cost is $20/person and includes euchre rotations, hors d'oeuvres, 50/50 raffle and more. Proceeds will support the eighth-grade class trip to the March for Life in Washington, D.C. Everyone is welcome. To RSVP, contact Caroline Biskner at carolinebiskner@yahoo.com or visit tinyurl.com/ssaeuchre2020.

Jan. 17 and Feb. 21 at 7 p.m., St. Mary Queen of Angels Parish, 4413 Morrish Rd., Swartz Creek, will host euchre tournament fundraisers sponsored by its Knights of Columbus Council.

For more information, call 810.635.3684.

Jan. 18, 5:30 p.m., St. Agnes, Fowlerville’s Knights of Columbus Council is hosting a Chili Cookoff in the Lothamer Parish Center that includes mild, medium, hot and blazing chilies – all homemade. The euchre tournament is after the cook-off.

For information, call the parish office at 517.223.8684.

Jan. 15–Feb. 12, Wednesdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m., St. Michael, Grand Ledge, will offer a fiveweek Called and Gifted evening workshop, please come and grow in your understanding of how God has uniquely gifted you to help bring about the kingdom.

For information, call the parish office at 517.627.8493.

Jan. 19, 2 p.m., a new group of people seeking to learn about the Catholic Church will begin meeting at St. John Church and Student Center in East Lansing.

Sessions are interactive. So please bring your questions.

Share the gift of faith by inviting someone you know to consider this opportunity. For information, contact Pete Ries at 517.351.5460, ext. 1328 or pries@elcatholics.org.

Jan. 16, 23 and 30, 7-8:30 p.m., St. John Student Center, 327 MAC Ave., East Lansing, will have a Gospel series in the Library, room 12. For information, contact Al Weilbaecher at 517.351.5460, al@ elcatholics.org or visit elcatholics. org.

Jan. 22, 7 p.m., St. Gerard Parish, Lansing, will host Jeff Olson, parent, football coach and a teacher at Ishpeming High School, who is traveling to high schools across the state presenting his family’s story about his son, Daniel, and how he died of suicide.

FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

The goal of Jeff’s “Do it for Daniel” talks are to provide education, eliminate the stigma of mental health illnesses and provide hope.

Jan. 25, 7-11:30 p.m., the 3rd annual Lansing Catholic Corks + Cuisine fundraising event will be held in Lansing Catholic’s gymnasium. Join us for a casual, relaxed evening for our Catholic community to have fun and socialize in support of the high school. Enjoy fabulous food that showcases delicious bites from local restaurants and wine/ beer from area distributors. Tickets are $40 in advance. Must be 21+ to attend. For information, visit lansingcatholic.org. To sponsor, contact Paula Wilcox at paula. wilcox@lansingcatholic.org or 517.267.2121.

Jan. 25, doors open at 6:30 p.m., St. Mary Star of the Sea, Jackson, will host A Toast to Your Marriage, a wine and beer tasting date night in the parish hall The evening will include wine or beer tasting, delicious dinner, coffee and dessert with an engaging presentation and more.

Tickets $40/couple. Seating is limited. For registration information, call 517.250.3178.

Jan. 25 and Feb. 1, 6:30-11 p.m., St. Agnes, Fowlerville’s Knights of Columbus Council is hosting two Texas Hold ’Em events in the Higgins Hall Gathering Space. For more information, call the parish office at 517.223.8684.

Jan. 26 and March 15, 2 p.m., the Diocese of Lansing’s Disabilities Ministry and All Faith Ministry for Disabilities are hosting Special Needs Masses at the St. Francis Retreat Center chapel located at 703 E. Main St. in DeWitt.

Followed by light refreshments. To attend, RSVP to Cathy Blatnik at 517.381.1410 or lcblatnik@juno.com

by Jan. 22 for the January Mass and by March 11 for the March Mass.

Jan. 31, 5:30- 8 p.m., St. Michael Catholic School, 325 Edwards St., Grand Ledge, will host a Winter Carnival with family fun for all ages, including games, raffle, entertainment and food available a la carte. Cost is $5 for children, adults and children 2 and under are free. All are welcome. For information, call the school at 517.627.2167.

Jan. 31, 7-9 p.m., in the chapel and Feb. 1, 10 a.m-4 p.m., in the school music room, St. Francis of Assisi, 2250 E. Stadium Blvd., Ann Arbor, is hosting a weekend grief support workshop, Grieving with Great Hope, which offers a prayerful, practical and personal approach for anyone who is mourning the loss of a family member or friend.

Suggested free-will offering of $20. For information, call Kelly Hernandez at 734.821.2122 or visit goodmourningministry.net. To register, call the parish office at 734.821.2100 or go to stfrancisa2. com/sign-up-forms.

Feb. 1, 7 p.m., doors open at 6 p.m., Holy Spirit, Brighton, will host a Trivia Night in its activity center. Registration is $10/person or a table of eight for $80. There are 10 rounds of questions in a variety of different categories. If you would like to be a sponsor, it is $50/round and includes: name/business mentioned at event, your flier/business card on each table and a formal thank you in the parish bulletin. For information, or to be a sponsor, contact the school office at 810.900.9050.

Feb. 14-16, Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat – Healing after Abortion.

The pain of abortion runs deep and long, but the unconditional love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and healing of our Lord are available to all who seek him.

For information or to register,

CATHOLIC CHARITIES CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF JACKSON, LENAWEE AND HILLSDALE COUNTIES (CCJLH), JACKSON: 517.782.2551 and ADRIAN: 517.263.2191 or CATHOLICCHARITIESJLHC.ORG Adult grief support groups meet at Catholic Charities in Jackson, 3425 Francis St. This ongoing group meets the first and third Wednesday of each month from 6-7 p.m. There is no cost.

To attend, call 517.782.2251. For information about children and teen groups, call Robin Weber at 517.782.2551, ext. 1118.

CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF SHIAWASSEE AND GENESEE COUNTIES, FLINT: 810.232.9950 AND OWOSSO: 989.723.7239 OR CCSGC.ORG The Community Closet offers personal needs items such as toothpaste, shampoo, diapers, formula and toilet paper, as well as clothing and household goods that are distributed to those in need. It is open Monday-Friday from 9:30 a.m.-noon for personal care items and 1-4 p.m. for clothing and household goods. For information, please call 810.265.7025.

CATHOLIC SOCIAL SERVICES OF WASHTENAW COUNTY (CSSW), 734.971.9781 or CSSWASHTENAW.ORG Two A Lasting Promise marriage preparation classes are available: Jan. 10 6:309:00 p.m. and Jan. 11, 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at CSSW, 4925 Packard, Ann Arbor. Feb. 14, 6:30 p.m.- 9 p.m. and Feb. 15, 9 a.m.-12:30 p.m. at St. Andrew the Apostle, 910 Austin Dr., Saline. Register early. Cost is $95/couple. Pre-registration and payment must be made to attend. To register, call 734.971.9781, ext. 421 or visit csswashtenaw.org.

LIVINGSTON COUNTY CATHOLIC CHARITIES (LCCC), 517.545.5944 or LIVINGSTONCATHOLICCHARITIES.ORG Thinking of becoming a foster parent? Livingston County Catholic Charities is holding orientations for persons interested in learning more about foster care. Orientation is held on the third Monday of each month, 5-7 p.m. at the LCCC office, 2020 E. Grand River, Ste. 101 in Howell. To reserve your spot, call Amanda at 517.545.5944.

ST. VINCENT CATHOLIC CHARITIES OF LANSING, 517.323.4734 or STVCC.ORG Two A Lasting Promise marriage preparation classes are available: Jan. 11 and Feb. 8, 9 a.m.-3 p.m., at Cristo Rey Church, Juan Diego Room, 201 W. Miller Rd., Lansing.

Registration is recommended four to six weeks prior. The cost is $75/couple. Preregistration and payment must be made to attend. To register, call St. Vincent Catholic Charities at 517.323.4734, ext.1726. Registration forms are available online at stvcc.org.

contact the New Life Center in Lansing at 517.993.0291 or nlcrachelsvineyard@gmail.com.

Feb. 22, St. Martha, Okemos’ Catholic Council of Women will host a one-day women's retreat, I am Yours, in the parish hall at 1100 W. Grand River Ave. Cost is $25 and includes lunch. For information and to register, visit www.st-matha.org in January or email stmarthaccw@gmail.com.

Feb. 22-23, Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend retreat in Holly: CEE is a marriage preparation program based on Catholic teachings and values that emphasizes the relationship of the couple in terms of their sacramental commitment. For more information, visit www. lansingcee.org, or info@lansingcee.org, or call Sue and Wayne Fransted at 517.740.4132.

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Pope Francis celebrated Mass with young people in the Cathedral of the Assumption in Bangkok on Nov. 22, 2019.

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The Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing JANUARY 2020 VOLUME 20: ISSUE 1

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Pope Francis visits Thailand and Japan

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Pope Francis spent several days visiting Thailand and Japan at the end of November. He told the crowds in Japan that his first visit there was a long time coming, because he had hoped to be sent to Japan as a missionary when he was a young Jesuit. Instead, he traveled there for the first time just before marking his 50th anniversary as a Jesuit priest. The Holy Father celebrated Masses with tens of thousands of people in Tokyo and Bangkok, and also celebrated a small Mass with his fellow Jesuits.

On a visit to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, he said: “With deep conviction I wish once more to declare that the use of atomic energy for purposes of war is today, more than ever, a crime not only against the dignity of human beings but against any possible future for our common home.”

United Arab Emirates to rebuild Catholic Churches in Mosul Two Catholic churches in Mosul, Iraq – Al-Tahera Church and AlSaa’a Church – will be rebuilt by the United Arab Emirates (UAE), in partnership with UNESCO, as a part of the UAE’s “Year of Tolerance” initiative. The churches were destroyed by the Islamic State in 2014. The initiative is part of an agreement to help build historical landmarks in Mosul; students from the University of Mosul will participate in the process of restoring the churches.

Prayer intentions of Pope Francis for January/February 2020

VICE PRESIDENT/EDITORIAL DIRECTOR FAITHTM (USPS 019993) is a membership publication of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing and is published monthly except for February and August. To purchase a subscription, log on to FAITHmag.com. If you have a change of address, please contact your parish. Periodicals postage paid in Lansing, MI and at additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to FAITHTM, 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing MI 48906-5550. ©2019 FAITH Catholic. FAITH is a trademark of FAITH Catholic.

JANUARY – PROMOTION OF WORLD PEACE We pray that Christians, followers of other religions, and all people of goodwill may promote peace and justice in the world.

FEBRUARY – LISTEN TO THE MIGRANTS’ CRIES We pray that the cries of our migrant brothers and sisters, victims of criminal trafficking, may be heard and considered.

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FAITH Magazine | JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2020 | WWW.FAITHMAG.COM

The closeness to the Lord invites our heart to approach our brothers and sisters with love, to show compassion towards everyone. @Pontifex Dec. 2, 2019

“... Behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, until it came and stopped over the place where the child was.�

(Matthew 2:9)

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Membership Magazine of the Catholic Diocese of Lansing 1500 E. Saginaw St., Lansing, MI 48906 Want to receive FAITH Magazine? Visit FAITHMAG.COM Follow FAITHMAG The Way to Happiness Is Jesus Find out more at DIOCESEOFLANSING.ORG Find a Catholic Church at MASSTIMES.ORG Serving Ann Arbor, Flint, Jackson, Lansing And Clinton, Eaton, Genesee, Hillsdale, Ingham, Jackson, Lenawee, Livingston, Shiawassee and Washtenaw counties

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