A new start - school term planning for separated couples

At the start of a new school term things can be a little crazy, to say the least. Uniforms, lunches, new teachers not to mention getting the kids back into a routine - it always works best if you’re well prepared. But for newly separated parents, the start of the school year is a whole new area to navigate, and just like the school prep, it’s best to plan well ahead.

For some couples, the decisions around responsibility for children’s schooling and associated tasks are relatively straightforward and can be easily agreed upon. However, in some cases, there can be contention about the plans and what is best for the children, with one of the parents feeling that they are being left out of this important aspect of the child’s life.

As experienced Family Law solicitors, we have seen this issue arise again and again. In this article, we highlight a few points to be aware of to help families make the right decisions and come to an amicable arrangement that best suits them and most importantly, the children involved.

Inform the school

It may not be immediately obvious, but if you have separated over the holidays, it is best to let the school know of the change in situation for your children. You can ask for a confidential conversation with the head teacher who will ensure that the child’s teachers and contacts are aware of their new family circumstances. There may well be behavioural changes to deal with and if they are aware of the cause, this will make it easier all around.

Depending on the age of the children, the school will also need to know about any changes in living arrangements, pick-ups and key contacts.

Set a routine

It’s well known that children perform better when they have a set routine they are accustomed to. A change in family circumstances can be upsetting, so the sooner you and your partner can agree on a new routine of school drop off, pick up, afterschool care and homework supervision, the easier it will be for them to adapt. Much will be dependent on working patterns and grandparents or other family members may be needed to help, but getting a set routine in place should be a priority.

Agree responsibilities

Aside from the practicalities of getting to and from school, there are a number of other tasks and responsibilities for parents of school-aged kids. The school will need a key contact for reports, letters home, paying for uniforms, school meals and trips and numerous other updates and events that occur throughout the school year. You and your partner should decide who takes responsibility for what and how they keep the other informed of what’s happening.

When conflicts arise

While the majority of parents find a solution to manage their children’s school routine after separation, in some cases, where relations are particularly strained, this can be a cause of conflict. Some parents seek to undermine the other, make allegations or exclude them from the child’s school life for a variety of reasons. When this happens it can be difficult for the school to deal with and upsetting for the child. Schools will have a policy in place for dealing with cases like this and parents will need to spend time with a school representative to agree on a way forward. If parents are unable to agree, we recommend professional mediation sooner rather than later, where a trained mediator is appointed to help identify and resolve issues to reach a cordial agreement on education arrangements. This is always a less stressful and expensive alternative to court proceedings.

Getting help

At Gibson Kerr we have many years of experience dealing with separating couples and our friendly and experienced Family Law team are here to help guide you on the best options for you as well as help you to understand your legal status when it comes to your child’s education. We can offer expert advice and support on negotiations and help organise mediation if needed.