Families Kent Jan/Feb 23 PRINT issue

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Happy New Year from all of us here at Families! We wish you the very best for the months ahead.

If you’ve abandoned New Year resolutions already, then let Families re-inspire you! This really is a great time of year to focus on how to get healthier – but it’s difficult to do it on your own. So how about taking on a health challenge as a family instead and you can motivate each other? Whether it’s a new challenge, adopting strategies to alleviate anxiety or finding out why it’s healthy for kids to get muddy, this issue offers you lots of food for thought.

And, as the kids head back to school or nursery for the new term, we also have a great article on dealing with separation anxiety, as well as a focus on education including an update on SATS, advice on safely choosing an online tutor and how logical thinking can help children achieve their goals.

Finally, we have Britannica Magazine subscriptions to giveaway! Apply for six month subscriptions plus a Britannica All New Children’s Encyclopaedia inside. By doing so, you’ll also ensure you receive our digital magazine with lots more content and goodies on offer.

Enjoy the issue!

Rebecca

Editor, Families Kent

Early Years

What

What’s On

We’ve

Put a spring in your child’s step with Perform

Perform confidence-building classes are sure to blow away the winter cobwebs and will help children feel energised and inspired.

This term sees 4-7s trapezing and somersaulting into a Circus Adventure whilst 7-12s work on a fun and funky adaptation of Robin Hood, in Outlaw. Imaginations will soar as children work towards a magical performance for family and friends.

Perform is not like other children’s drama schools. Its classes have a special emphasis on child development, using a mix of drama, dance and singing to bring out every child’s potential.

Run by experienced actor-teachers, Perform classes focus on developing the 4 Cs: Confidence, Communication, Coordination, and Concentration. With all abilities welcome, children can join at any point in the term and will take part in the performance. The only requirement is to get ready to have the best fun of the week!

Children are welcome to try a FREE class. With local venues in Ashford, Bexley, Faversham, Hempstead, Kings Hill, Langton Green, Maidstone, Orpington, Riverhead, Sevenoaks, Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells.

Find the right class and book at www.perform.org.uk/try

More about Perform’s weekly classes

Confidence building weekly drama, dance and singing classes for 4-7s and 7-12s. Classes are designed to boost confidence, communication, concentration and coordination.

Visit www.perform.org.uk/try, email enquiries@perform. org.uk or call 020 7255 9120 to book a FREE trial class in one of the following venues.

Ashford: St Mary’s Community Centre, TN24 9LH

Bexley: St John Fisher Catholic Church Hall, DA5 1AP

Faversham: West Faversham Community Centre, ME13 7RH

Hempstead: Hempstead Valley Community Centre, ME7 3PD

Kings Hill: Kings Hill Community Hall, ME19 4LG

Langton Green: Langton Green Village Hall, TN3 0JJ

Maidstone: St Pauls Church, ME14 2AN

Riverhead: Riverhead Village Hall, TN13 2EL

Sevenoaks: The Parish Church of St Luke, TN13 1XT

Tonbridge: St John’s Church Centre, TN11 9HT

Tunbridge Wells: Christ Church Centre, TN1 1UT

Find out more at www.perform.org.uk

Get ready to take part in Wear a Hat

Day 2023

Wear A Hat Day, an iconic and fun annual event, is one of the UK’s most popular and family-friendly charitable fundraisers and it’s happening again on Friday, 31 March!

Running for more than ten years, this event raises millions for vital research into brain tumours – the biggest cancer killer of children and adults under the age of 40. Wear A Hat Day events help children explore their individuality and creativity, whilst learning to work together and think of others – in a really fun way.

Participation fosters friendships, creates better local and school communities, offers unique learning opportunities and provides new ways for children to explore ideas around different life experiences, all while giving hope to brain tumour patients and their loved ones.

Join this event, as a family or by persuading your local school to take part. Register now for more information and your FREE fundraising pack at www.wearahatday.org

The Big Garden Birdwatch

Get your family involved in the RSPB Big Garden Birdwatch and help monitor bird life in the UK.

Simply count the birds you see in your garden, from your balcony or in your local park for one hour between 27 and 29 January.

Challenge your children to see who can spot the most birds. Take a bike ride to a local park or make a day trip out of it and spot birds in a new place.

You can also watch Big Garden Birdwatch Live! on YouTube and Facebook to discover what birds are being spotted across the UK with live commentary, interviews and chats with special guests and wildlife experts and the chance to ask them questions.

To learn about ways to attract birds to your garden and get your FREE guide, visit www.rspb.org.uk/birdwatch

Exciting adventures at Spring Grove School

Spring Grove is delighted to welcome a new Head of Forest School to the staff team in 2023. Stephanie McCullough is a teacher and Forest School Leader and has wide experience both in the classroom and in the woods.

Steph has already been working with the Spring Grove staff and pupils at the Forest School site, where children enjoy the full range of traditional Forest School activities including: using a variety of tools safely, making bird feeders, building dens and telling stories around the campfire.

Steph says: ‘One of the best parts of our Forest School sessions has been witnessing the wonder in the children’s eyes as they find something new or interesting, the excitement as they run off up the hill and the calmness as they settle into the slower pace of the woodland classroom.’

To find out more about Spring Grove School call 01233 812337 or visit www.springgroveschool.co.uk

Can you make a difference at Valence School?

Brilliant members of one-to-one staff are ‘game changers’ when it comes to young people doing well at school.

For a young person with complex medical needs, attending school can be challenging to say the least. The minefield of tasks required to attend lessons can often mean that students become frustrated. However, with the right support, it does not have to be this way and at Valence School, they believe that a well-planned programme of support and a dedicated one-to-one member of staff can make the difference.

Valence School employs a range of staff that assist in a variety of ways. These include: support with therapy programmes designed to minimise pain, communication support for students with hearing and visual impairments, assisting health procedures as well as classroom support to record work and help with personal care.

Could you make a difference to the young people at Valence School? Could you be a brilliant one-to-one support?

If you think you have what it takes, call 01959 567841 or email vacancies@valence.kent.sch.uk

Find out more at www.valenceschool.com

Free online Maths Circles launched

National Storytelling Week

National Storytelling Week takes place from 28 January to 5 February and during this period, stories will be told in schools and theatres, pubs, museums, village halls, community centres and in many other places across the UK.

Speech and language therapists believe that storytelling is vital for children’s academic success as it promotes narrative skills and strengthens the ability of children to correctly sequence ideas. To be a good reader and writer a child needs firstly to be a good speaker and listener.

Above all though, storytelling is fun. Whether we are listening to someone else’s story or telling our own, inventing and adapting stories can open doors to exciting new worlds — both real and imaginary.

To find a local event, visit www.sfs.org.uk

Children aged 10 to 16 who are keen to extend their mathematical horizons can now take part in free weekly interactive maths sessions online called Maths Circles.

Maths Circles is a way for students to learn from some of the best maths educators in the world. The session contains a mix of challenging questions, puzzles and enrichment topics. The highly interactive sessions, with live chat and polling, also provide an opportunity to develop and practice the sort of problem-solving skills that are used to solve Primary Maths Challenge problems.

The initiative is the creation of Parallel, a charitable mathematics project founded and run by best-selling science author and maths educator, Simon Singh. The Maths Circles sessions are completely safe and securestudents do not appear on screen and cannot be heard and only the educators can see chat comments.

More info at www.parallel.org.uk

SATS: getting in the know

By Jessica Joan

In May, Year 2 (KS1) and Year 6 (KS2) pupils will take their SATS exams. Yet, from their very first day at school, children are being trained to be able to perform in preparation for these assessments.

So much work goes on behind the scenes in other years to get children ready and when it comes to the year in which they take their SATS, teachers are under pressure for them to do well.

To prepare for the exams, your children will be doing lots of maths, reading and writing at school, intertwined with other subjects so that they are consistently practising those skills. Sometimes this means that other foundation subjects are deemed ‘not as important’ and additional maths and English lessons squeezed in instead.

So how can you ensure your child does well in their SATS?

Your child’s school will more than likely be sending home maths, English and reading homework in preparation. It can be difficult to make your child do homework, especially when they have been worked so hard during the school day; however, it’s an important support in preparation for SATS so anything you can do with your child can really make a difference to how they perform.

Providing your child with any opportunity to read, write and do mathematical calculations will be massively appreciated by your child’s teacher!

In addition, you can download and look at past SATS papers from previous years (www.sats-papers.co.uk) to get an idea of what your child will have to do. There will be some things that have changed since you went to school so ask your child to show you how they do things - they will relish this opportunity!

Likewise, you can always speak to your child’s teacher who will happily show you how you can support your child’s learning at home.

As well as these things, ensuring your child eats well and stays hydrated will support their minds and bodies during the school day. Similarly, creating a good bedtime routine will mean your child gets a decent night’s sleep and has the brain power to be ‘on the ball’ throughout the school week.

Jessica Joan is a primary school teacher from Worcestershire with a ten year teaching career. After experiencing burn out, she set up as a Work/Life Balance Coach for stressed out teachers and launched her Happy Teacher Course. Find out more at www.jessicajoan.co.uk

SATS and your child’s wellbeing

It’s very common for children to feel worried and even stressed about doing their SATS, especially for Year 5 children going into Year 6.

There is plenty that you can do at home to support your child mentally and emotionally in preparation. Explain that it’s totally normal to feel this way before a test and share some of your own experiences. This will help them feel less alone and comfortable in being able to share what’s going on for them. It’s a great opportunity for you to teach them about emotional intelligence and wellbeing. Start off by labelling the emotion that they are experiencing like anger, worry, anxiety. Then discuss the physical sensations they feel which come with that emotion, whether that’s sweaty palms or a racing heart. Now practise a wellbeing technique to promote feelings of calm and self-assurance during these times. Breathing techniques, exercise and meditation are all great ways to support your child’s wellbeing throughout stressful times during their childhood.

Are KS1 SATS being scrapped?

The government previously announced its plans to scrap KS1 SATS (Year 2) after the introduction of the Reception Baseline Assessment (RBA) which began in September 2021 and is taken by all new primary school pupils. However, it has since been decided to make KS1 SATS (Year 2) optional for schools from September 2023 instead.

The RBA is usually done with a teacher in an informal setting during a child’s first six weeks of school. It is an activity-based assessment conducted via a number of practical and interactive tasks. There have been pilots done all over the country and the validity report confirms that this new assessment provides an ‘accurate’ starting point from which to measure the progress a child makes in primary school.

To my knowledge, this change is welcomed amongst primary school teachers across the country as it limits the amount of pressured standardised testing that takes place during a child’s early school years. Primary school is a time for children to explore their learning through play and their own curiosities.

How logical thinking helps children achieve goals

By Usha Patel

My 6-year-old nephew came around the other day for tea and cake. In the middle of a conversation, he loudly declared he was on his eighth ‘mini-cake.’ These were bite-sized morsels made for tiny hands. It made me chuckle that a child of just 6 years would think to measure the increasing joy that eating cake could bring! I looked down at my plate and wondered how many I had gobbled up….

However, many children don’t see patterns, numbers or the need for measuring.

A 10-year-old student I recently worked with really wanted to play football but was reluctant because she had great difficulty tying her shoelaces. I taught her how to do it in five easy steps, explaining that she would achieve her goal but that some steps might be trickier than others.

Before our work together, she had thought of tying laces as one task. By breaking down the task into a series of logical steps, she could see which parts were more complex and which were manageable. She quickly got the hang of it by paying closer attention to those bits she thought were fiddly and not feeling as frustrated as she had before.

With my instruction, she practised regularly at home and each time she would get faster at the bits she found tricky. When she returned a couple of weeks later, she boasted she could now tie her laces very quickly and insisted on showing me with her brand-new trainers.

So what does this teach us? That when tasks are broken down into logical steps, success is possible.

When a child does not apply logic and reasoning to a difficult task, how they feel about the task dominates their approach. But we can’t measure feelings in the same way we can measure steps - or even cake! They are not objective and so the cycle of frustration continues and a child reinforces an unfair bias against their own ability.

Measuring progress allows a child to see for themselves what is going wrong. They then can problem-solve, achieve success and meet their intended goal.

Logical thinking takes time to nurture but once success is achieved, parents should celebrate. Decide on another goal and repeat a similar logical process.

Usha Patel is a neurocognitive therapist who runs Raviv Practice London (www.ravivpracticelondon.co.uk).

Activity ideas

Activities that require logical thinking can help move a child from a subjective to an objective way of problem solving, teaching them rely on facts to evaluate a situation and make rational decisions. Routinely playing specific games to help with sequencing, critical thinking, following procedures and analysing results can shift brain thinking patterns and develop a child’s resilience and stamina in the face of difficult tasks. Some ideas include:

Sequencing. Activities like cake baking are very procedural as you follow carefully laid out instructions in order.

Logical thinking. Suduko type puzzles require a lot of critical thinking and analysis.

Procedural. Origami helps children be precise with their physical actions. This activity can require a lot of patience but is very rewarding.

Analysis. Puzzles and brain teasers teach children mental stamina while applying different thinking techniques. There are great benefits in repeating easier tasks because they can help build a positive outlook and reinforce an expectation of success. Success breeds motivation, which leads to further success!

Getting the best from online tutoring

By Lisa Wander and Catherine Loble

With Covid and the move to online platforms, tutoring has become more accessible, with more options and opportunities available for tutors and students. As a result, over fifteen percent of children across the country are now receiving private tuition.

An Institute of Education study shows that well delivered tuition has a positive impact on attainment across the board. Certainly, in the highly competitive worlds of selective schools and public exams, tutoring has become the norm in ensuring that children are prepared and supported.

Today many parents turn to the internet to find a suitable tutor as it offers wider and often less expensive access to more options. But with it comes the concern around finding quality teaching in an unregulated world.

Online tutoring options are prolific on social media - you’ll likely get more offers than you could sift through in one evening! There are also many specialist online agencies offering a range of tutoring options, as well as A-level or undergraduate student tutors offering their services.

Employing an A-level or undergraduate student tutor may be advantageous in offering your child a positive role model.

Equally, your child may feel more comfortable with somebody closer to their own age and may therefore be more likely to challenge themselves and grow in their learning. This option can also offer a less expensive tuition route. However, it is really important to bear in mind that student tutors are unqualified and

inexperienced and don’t have the experience or understanding of child development.

In this exploding world of online tutoring, to give your child the best chance to succeed, you will need to do your research AND practise due diligence. Paying for a tutor is an important investment and cutting corners may do your child more harm than good.

Most educators recommend a robust academic assessment prior to hiring any tutor. For some children, an experienced tutor will be essential whilst for others a student tutor to support their learning can provide a wonderful experience. Either way, parents should be involved in what and how a tutor is planning for their child and have some degree of control and understanding of which topics will be covered.

Lisa and Catherine are co-founders of Emparenting (www.emparenting.co.uk), supporting children, parents and families with insights, skills and tools to nurture the development and well-being of the next generation.

Safe tutor selection

Meet your online tutor in a video call prior to engaging them and check their references thoroughly.

Consider their professional training as well as their general character and attitude.

Request qualification certificates and background checks.

Ask how they measure progress. Request regular feedback and that any homework is sent via you.

Ask for planning information. A professional tutor will never mind sharing this with you.

Sessions should only be arranged via parents; tutors should never contact your child directly.

Which platform will they use? Make sure that your child knows the rules around safety too.

Monitor online lessons by setting up in an open space in your home or leaving a door open if you are not in the same room. Trust your instincts as a parent; if something doesn’t feel right, stop sessions and change tutors.

An academic assessment

A recommended element of the tutoring process is an academic assessment prior to beginning sessions. This is the process of gathering data to understand the strengths and weaknesses of a student’s learning. It should be tailored to the individual student and delivered by an expert educator. An academic assessment will:

Test a child’s ability against the national cohort.

Help parents understand the academic level their child is currently reaching.

Identify gaps in learning, allowing tutors to create programmes tailored to your child’s needs.

Reveal potential and determine if it’s being reached.

Recommend suitability for future schools.

A robust assessment in advance of using the unregulated online world of tutoring will give you some degree of control and enable you to be more involved and aware of what your child needs in advance of hiring a tutor. It will provide a baseline for you to ensure that your child is being taught to a high standard.

Surviving separation anxiety

By Dorothy Lepkowska

It’s a common scenario; the toddler who actively resists being left with anyone else, struggling to separate from parents or loved ones. So what can you do to make separating from your toddler easier?

Most children go through a phase of being overly attached to one or both parents at some point in their early years. The tears can make leaving them at nursery/childminder heart breaking.

Kate Harding’s toddler would cling to her every morning when they arrived at nursery. ‘She wasn’t upset when she woke up in the morning or even in the car as we drove to her early years setting but once it was time for me to leave it was the same every day’ Kate says. ‘She would cling to my leg and literally have to be peeled off by one of the staff. Often I’d leave upset and in tears myself. On those days, no amount of reassurance from her key person that she was well and thriving would make me feel better.’

Important for resilience

Experts say that it’s completely normal for young children to go through what could be described as a clingy phase and it’s an important part of their development.

For many, anxiety at being separated from a parent begins at six to nine months. It’s around this time that babies become conscious that they are separate little beings and are not the same person as their parent.

For some, this clinginess can last for a couple of years and can get worse when they go to nursery or a childminder As difficult as it is to be separated from a crying, anxious child, it’s best not to avoid leaving them. Explaining why you need to be apart, saying goodbye, telling them when you will be back and reinforcing the positives of this, is all part of teaching your child how to be resilient.

Take a deep breath and walk away. Your child is in safe hands and will thrive, as they will discover for themselves over time.

Kate says: ‘I would tell my daughter that I had to go to work so we had money and remind her how much fun it would be to play with her friends. Often this did the trick.’

Getting used to new surroundings Nurseries and pre-school settings understand the importance of a settling-

in period before your child starts officially. You might stay with your child for several sessions, gradually leaving them for longer periods. Your child’s key person will work with you to settle your child. This helps them get used to their new surroundings and helps you both become familiar with the staff and children.

Remember, this is all new for your child so it’s not surprising they might feel uncertain or anxious.

‘I always tried not to sneak out of the nursery when leaving’ says Kate, ‘but to give her a kiss, wish her a good day and wave through the window. At times it was hard to stay calm and collected while she was upset but as she got to know the routine the crying stopped. In any event, even at her worst, the staff always assured me that she calmed down once I’d gone and got on with the day’s activities. It was probably worse for me, in fact!’

Checking in by phone

Early years experts say that while parents might be tempted to seek reassurance that their child is okay by returning to the setting, this can be disruptive and unsettle their child all over again. All that is achieved is the transference of the parent’s anxiety to the child.

Instead, a quick phone call to the staff is usually enough to reassure you that everything is going well.

However, if a toddler remains unduly upset by separation for a prolonged period it might be worth investigating if there are other reasons for them feeling unsettled. Talk to your child’s key person or childminder about your concerns. They are best placed to advise you what is best for your child, even if this means delaying their start at the setting for a few weeks or extending their settling in period.

Dorothy Lepkowska is an awardwinning journalist, author and freelance writer for the Early Years Alliance (www. eyalliance.org.uk). You can read more of her parenting features at www. familycorner.co.uk

Get muddy, get healthy

By Gabrielle Nash

Is your child always making mud pies, splashing in muddy puddles and making friends with worms, leaves or sticks? Do you embrace it or hate it?

We all have those memories of getting messy and muddy as a child but when it comes to our children, it can be difficult to allow them free rein. Yet scientific evidence now suggests young children who are encouraged to enjoy safe, outdoor muddy play will go on to develop stronger immune systems than children who are discouraged from it, leading to better overall health.

In the last decade, over sanitised childhoods have contributed to higher cases of allergies in the western world1. The percentage of children diagnosed with allergic rhinitis and eczema has trebled over the last thirty years.

Meanwhile, other studies have also found children who grow up on farms, with easy access to farm animals and the outdoors have a lower risk of developing asthma2. The reason behind these findings is an immune system that is exposed to bacteria and viruses when young and becomes strong, meaning it is much less vulnerable to allergies and asthma.

So how can you safely achieve muddy play?

The best way is to get your child outside as much as possible, from as young an age as possible. Touch trees, leaves, grass and mud. Play with sticks, jump in puddles and breathe fresh air. Forest schools are now a popular alternative to traditional indoor nurseries and forest school activities run by Forestry England and the National Trust are increasingly common during the school holidays.

Locate your closest natural play area - playgrounds made from natural materials; some even have options for den building and

mud kitchens. Not only are you giving your child’s immune system a boost but being in the fresh air has countless other physical and emotional benefits. Instilling a love of the outdoors from a young age will continue the healthy habit of getting outside.

You can also give young children regular exposure to safe bacteria through mud kitchens and gardening. This helps bolster their immune systems from an early age, contributing to a more diverse range of bacteria in the gut and skin. Recent research has found a direct link between diverse microbes in a child’s gut and potentially chronic conditions like obesity, diabetes and even healthy brain development. If you don’t have access to a garden, consider a local allotment or community farm project where children learn about how our food is grown AND get their hands safely dirty.

Children who grow up with a pet, especially dogs, are also known to have a healthier immune system because of the dirt an animal naturally brings in. Use common sense with this though. Don’t play in muddy areas to which cats or dogs have regular access so you can avoid harmful bacteria your child may not be used to. Always wash hands with warm soapy water.

Messy and muddy play requires patience and a relaxed attitude –from you!

Don’t put children in their best clothes outdoors; a second-hand puddle suit and old wellies will suffice.

Don’t wait for a sunny day. If the weather isn’t perfect, remember, you need rain to create that mud.

Get involved yourself. The saying ‘a little bit of dirt never hurt you’ really is true.

1 www.allergyuk.org/about-allergy/statistics-and-figures/

2 www.newscientist.com/article/2206654-microbes-from-farms-may-protectchildren-from-asthma-even-in-cities

Ideas for getting muddy

Mud paintings. Add some food colouring to watery mud and paint on patio slabs or paper.

Mud sculptures. Mould mud into shapes and add pebbles, twigs and leaves.

Den building or mud houses. Use sticks as a structure and mud to secure them.

Mud towns. Get old dump trucks and plastic toy figurines to dig waterways and pour the water in.

And don’t forget some good old-fashioned splashing in muddy puddles. Make it a competition!

New Year challenges

By Claire Winter

Every New Year we are inundated with health, fitness and self-improvement messages. Often, if we do decide to challenge ourselves and make a change, we don’t feel adequately supported and quickly lose motivation. One way of addressing this is to take on a new challenge as a family. Not only do you all have to get up off the sofa but you get to spend quality time with each other too!

Does your family thrive on a bit of competition? You could make your challenge a goalorientated one. Or perhaps you have family members who want to nail screen time, healthy eating or exercise? Call a family meeting and decide which challenge will suit you all. If you can’t decide, hold a vote! Here are some challenge ideas.

Get wild

We know that spending time in nature is good for you and science backs it up. Challenge each other to name different trees on every walk you go on, see shapes in clouds, identify birdsong; whatever it takes to draw the family into the fresh air.

The RSPB has some great wild challenge suggestions for families; check out fun and learning at www.rspb.org.uk

Reduce screen time

If you decide as a family to spend less time on devices, there are some great apps like AppDetox or AntiSocial which can help. Plan family fun as a healthier and more inclusive use of your time.

Catch me if you can

Coach Martin Sharp (www.martinsharp.com) suggests a family running challenge. ‘You could keep it simple and see how many laps of the park you can all do. But if you want to make it more exciting you could enter a Color Run (www.colorrun.co.uk) or a Tough Mudder (www.toughmudder.co.uk) says Martin. ‘Exercise doesn’t have to be the same thing day-in, day-out; with a bit of imagination it can turn into a grand adventure.’

Make a family chart and log everyone’s goals and achievements.

Eat around the world

Bored with your normal meals? Inspire yourselves by researching healthy ingredients you’ve never tried before. Then plan a family challenge to cook meals from around the world. Everyone gets to try something they’ve not eaten before.

Be mindful

In this stressful world, taking time to ‘just be’ is so important. Try some relaxing yoga and meditation every evening for just five to ten minutes, for a month. Insight Timer (www.insighttimer. com) is a free meditation app, packed with different tracks and exercises.

Use workout cards

Fitness expert Lauren Allen (www.strongasamum.co.uk) suggests using playing cards to mix up workout challenges. Allocate a movement or an exercise to each suit. For example, clubs is squats, spades is push-ups, diamonds is star jumps and hearts is high knees. Shuffle your deck and deal out the whole pack to everyone. The number on the card represents how many repetitions of the exercise you need to complete. Set a timer and whoever clears their hand in the quickest time wins the round.

Be brave

Try a new activity that stretches the family’s comfort zone, such as ice skating, wild swimming, rock climbing or paddleboarding. Set yourself an achievable goal and get started!

Ready, steady, cook!

Cook up your own version of Come Dine with Me, with the aim of making your meals healthier. Social media platforms are full of inspiring chefs whipping up feasts you can copy at home.

Ten top tips for alleviating children’s anxiety

By Claire Moreau

Parenting is often marvellous and rewarding but it’s also complex, especially if your child is struggling with anxiety and you are unsure what to do next. Families asked Claire Moreau, a qualified mindfulness teacher, to share her tips for lessening children’s anxiety. Don’t be deceived by the simplicity of these… try putting them into practice – they do work!

Avoid fuelling anxiety

Children absorb emotions like sponges and if they don’t know how to manage them, they can feel frustrated, powerless and overwhelmed. Overhearing the news or emotionally-charged adult conversation can fuel children’s anxiety. Teenagers can be alarmed by news threads on social media. Besides climate change and Covid, younger generations are now worrying about the war in Ukraine and its potential consequences.

Top tip: Avoid watching/listening to the news with young children; talk to teenagers about the news threads they follow; keep adult conversation amongst adults. Without altogether avoiding sensitive topics, discussions can be held within families in an age-appropriate way.

Encourage children to express feelings

Children are more likely to express their feelings when they sense that we are fully available. Sitting in an area they pass by when returning from school or a weekend activity and gently inviting them to join us can be a start.

Teenagers might be more reluctant than young children to express how they feel. Letting them know that we’re ready to welcome whatever troubles them might not produce an immediate result, but, in time, it can prompt them to open up.

Top tip: tell them they have the right to feel overwhelmed or stressed – ‘it’s okay not to be okay.’ Listen intently to them without moving into ‘fix-it mode.’ Sometimes they just need a steady, listening ear.

Be fully present

Mobile phones are part of our lives and essential communication devices. Yet, the alerts and notifications keep us constantly looking at them and family members often have to compete.

Being fully present with the activity or conversation we’re having with our children - without being distracted by mobile phones - demonstrates that we value ‘real’ time together over virtual communication with other people and that we are fully available.

Top tip: at mealtimes, get everyone to put their phones away for a set length of time.

Limit screen time

Research has found that too much screen time can lead to mental health issues in children, such as anxiety and depression. Most children prefer electronic media to playing and interacting with family and peers, which impacts their social development.

Monitor screen time, ensure the content is age-appropriate, communicate with children about inappropriate images and model healthy device habits.

Top tip: playing board games, reading and listening to music are great alternatives. Ask your kids to help you discover their musical tastes – this can lead to rich intergenerational conversations!

Offer reassurance

Small steps can go a long way. If they worry about the future, bring them back to the present moment—’right here, right now, with you, all is well.’ Tell them that you love them no matter what. These are both pillars of mindfulness.

Create a family routine that dissolves their worries even if only for a short time - in my family, every other Friday evening, homemade pizza is sacred. We catch up while cooking, then we watch a film together.

Top tip: Empower them by doing something as a family to help the situation they are worrying about – for instance, organise a car boot sale or a family run to raise money for charity.

Spend time in nature

The term nature-deficit disorder (NDD) was coined by Richard Louv in his 2005 book Last Child in the Woods. NDD can contribute to many problems, including higher rates of physical and emotional illnesses. The good news is it can easily be reversed. Spending time in nature is easier than we think: village greens, parks, commons and nature reserves abound in the UK. They provide the perfect setting for free family activities: walking, cycling, playing frisbee or racket sports helps lift the mood; watching nature’s life cycle is always a treat.

Top tip: Swap a meal indoors for a picnic, yes, even if it is cold! Nothing beats a good walk or cycle ride before returning home to a hot drink or meal.

There are many mindfulness apps/recorded meditations for adults and children which may help them to relax and unwind. However, nothing compares with attending a course with a qualified mindfulness teacher. Such a course teaches key mindfulness skills that help children and adults identify and manage emotions, improve concentration, relax and strengthen inner resources. Parents and children can benefit from simple exercises that help establish a strong mindfulness practice.

Top tip: children’s courses are only taught in person but many adults courses are now delivered on Zoom so it is easier to fit them around family life.

With little ones, creating a comforting, wind down routine can help (reading a book together, listening to soothing music).

With teenagers, blocking the mobile phone at a set time is recommended. Finally, at all ages, placing hands on the belly, breathing easily and focusing on the breath, following the gentle movement of the belly that rises and falls. Counting the breath to ten (inone, out – two, in – three, out – four etc) over and over can quieten a busy mind.

Top tip: whatever their ages, no screens before bedtime. If, despite your best intentions and care, your child’s behaviour or anxiety level becomes worrying, it is best to seek medical advice. GPs can refer a child to a psychologist or occupational therapist with training in mental health.

Top tip: getting support for yourself while you’re supporting your children is critical. Charities like www.youngminds.org.uk run a parent’s helpline and provide free advice and support.

Claire has over ten years of meditation and yoga practice and three years of experience teaching mindfulness. She is particularly interested in how mindfulness can help parents and children develop well-being and cultivate emotional resilience, kindness and compassion. For more information on her courses, visit www.bridgemakermindfulness.com

Reading not only provides a good alternative to screen time but it’s also relaxing. A 2009 study from the University of Sussex has found that reading can reduce stress by up to sixty eight percent. Just six minutes of relaxing into a good book can lower blood pressure and muscle tension. It’s a great distraction technique.

Top tip: reading can also become a special family moment—older children can read a story to younger siblings or parent and child can each read a page aloud.

What's On listings for all the family

To promote your local event, coffee morning, nearly new sale, parenting courses or community group in the next What’s On listing. Email: editor@familieskent.co.uk

Listings in this section are FREE for most non-commercial ventures. Please check details of the events before setting off in case anything has changed since going to print.

Don’t forget to sign up for our digital magazine for more interactive content

at familiesmagazine.co.uk/go

All listings correct at the time of going to print. Please check with the venue before visiting to ensure events are still going ahead and venues are open.

Throughout Jan and Feb

Trainmaster

Venues across Kent www.trainmaster.co.uk

Train lovers come and visit for an hour of play. Refreshments available. See online for details and venues.

Mon to Fri, Term Time Only Stay & Play

FlipOut Ashford, TN24 8DH www.flipout.co.uk/locations/ ashford

Enjoy spending time with your little ones in dedicated toddler areas. Two parents can assist free of charge. From 10am to 3pm. Under 5’s only. £7 per child.

Every Tue Stay & Play

Sunshine Children’s Centre, Maidstone, ME15 6TL www.facebook.com/maidstone childrenscentres

Sensory activities, outdoor play, messy play, crafts and more. 9.3011am. Ages 0-5. FREE.

Every Wed Playground (Creative Play for Babies)

Ashford Gateway Plus, TN23 1AS www.kent.gov.uk

Free weekly sessions for children aged 0-24 months in libraries and early years settings across Kent. Led by a team of brilliant artists and musicians, you and your child can share creative play. Booking is essential. Call 03000 41 31 31.

Every

Fri

Baby Rhymetime

Ashford Gateway Plus, TN23 1AS www.kent.gov.uk

Popular rhymes and songs for babies, toddlers and their parents or carers. 10-10.20am.

Every Sat Dedicated SEN Session

Flipout Ashford, TN24 8DH www.flipout.co.uk/locations/ ashford

A dedicated session for the SEN. The disco lights and music are turned down to create a relaxing atmosphere. Staff focus on creating a calming and attentive atmosphere, perfect for individuals with additional needs. All ages. 9am-10am. £8.50.

Every Sat

Love Your Local Market

Bligh’s Meadow Shopping Centre, Sevenoaks TN13 1DA www.blighsmeadow.com Offering a range of local goods from breads to art and crafts stalls, Fun for all to explore and discover. 9am-4pm.

Fri 6 Jan

Children’s Dodgeball Club Baypoint Sports Club, Sandwich, CT13 9QL www.wearebaypoint.co.uk Dodgeball is a great game to play for exercise and fun for everyone involved. £3 to enter. Ages 5–11. 5.30-6.15pm, ages 12-16, 6.15-7pm.

Treasure Trails in Kent

A self-guided spy mission walking trail or treasure hunt inspired walk.

The trails are 2 to 2.5 miles and takes approximately two hours to complete at your own pace. Learn more about where you live or explore somewhere new. Print a trail map at home or buy online. Suitable for ages 6+.

There are a variety of trails available in Kent including these starting points:

Sun Street, Canterbury, CT1 2HX

The King’s Mile Treasure Trail, High Street, Canterbury, CT1 2RX

The Pantilles, Tunbridge Wells, TN2 5TD

Westgate Terrace, Whitstable, CT5 1LB

Albion Street Car Park, Broadstairs, CT10 1NE

Leslie Smith Drive, Faversham, ME13 7LE

Central Parade, Herne Bay, CT6 5JG

Palace Avenue, Maidstone, ME15 6NF

West Street, Deal, CT14 6EB

Find out more at www.treasuretrails.co.uk

Sat 7, 14 and 21 Jan

Doodle ‘n Draw Chatham Community Hub, Chatham, ME4 4TX www.medway.gov.uk/events

An art, craft and culture event for ages 11 to 18. Free but booking is essential. 2 to 4pm.

Sat 7 Jan

Make a Chinese Lantern Ashford Library, TN23 1RE www.kentadulteducation.co.uk

Learn more about Chinese New Year and spend quality time as a family making Chinese lanterns. This session is bound to bring fun and learning all in one. Ages 5+ and two adults. 10-11.30am. FREE.

Sat 7 Jan Youth Basketball Baypoint Sports Club, Sandwich, CT13 9QL www.wearebaypoint.co.uk A great way to have fun and make new friends. Baypoint Blazers Youth Basketball Club for ages 5 to 13.

Sat 7 to Sun 8 Jan Winter Steam Up Spa Valley Railway, Royal Tunbridge Wells, TN2 5QY www.spavalleyrailway.co.uk

All aboard this winter onto a train journey that is fun for all the family. A range of steam and heritage diesel hauled trains between Tunbridge Wells West & Eridge. Book online in advance or on the day from their ticket offices.

Tue 10 Jan

Mini Museum Explorers – Chinese New Year

Royal Engineers Museum, Gillingham, ME7 1UR www.re-museum.co.uk

Designed for under 5 - this year’s Chinese New Year is the rabbit. Discover the meaning behind the animal with an animal-themed song thrown in. Get creative with bunnythemed crafts. Pre-book.

Sat 14 Jan Mini Museum Explorers – Zulu Warriors

Royal Engineers Museum, Gillingham, ME7 1UR www.re-museum.co.uk

Take a close look at beautiful Zulu artefacts and let your children get creative by turning themselves into Zulu-inspired warriors by making their own jewellery and headdresses.

Sat 14 to Tue 17 Jan

Family Activities – Zulu Wars Royal Engineers Museum, Gillingham, ME7 1UR www.re-museum.co.uk

Discover a hands-on activity by turning into a Zulu warrior. Fun activities all day.

From Wed 8 Feb

Snowdrop Walk

Hever Castle, TN8 7NG www.hevercastle.co.uk

Wrap up warm and stroll through the extensive gardens and grounds and enjoy snowdrops plus the

Emerging Nature at Hever Castle

Learn about animals that hibernate, get creative with a pebble painting workshop and have an animal themed face paint during half term at Hever Castle (11-19 February).

Discover more about animals that retreat to cosy hideaways, find out which animals do this, what actually happens during the colder months and more about their environments as you wander through the grounds. Can you guess how long they hibernate for?

Get creative and portray a hibernating animal in a free pebble painting workshop. Finish off your day with an animal themed face paint (additional charge – selected dates).

A visit to Hever Castle offers a good day out for the whole family. As well as the Emerging Nature activities, feed the ducks or fish, explore the historic Castle or let off some steam in one of three play areas including the Tudor Towers adventure playground.

Visit www.hevercastle.co.uk to find out more and to book.

blossoms of camellia, quince, daphnes, hellebores and early daffodils.

Fri 10 to Sat 11 Feb

Medway Light Nights

Chatham Town Centre www.visitmedway.org

A two-night extravaganza of light, transforming spaces into works of art through illumination and performance. The town will be illuminated with fantastic art and performances.

Sat 11 to Sun 19 Feb

Emerging Nature: Half Term Fun Hever Castle, TN8 7NG www.hevercastle.co.uk See page 14 for details.

Sat 11 to Sun 19 Feb

Half Term Woodland Adventure Leeds Castle, Maidstone, ME17 1PL www.leeds-castle.com

Put on your wellies and scarves as you gather with the family to follow the exciting activity trail, where you’ll learn about the woodland wildlife that call Leeds Castle home.

Sat 11 to Sun 19 Feb

Make History Dover Castle, CT16 1HU www.english-heritage.org.uk

Join characters from the past for historical hijinks and hands-on shenanigans at Dover Castle this half-term. Be transported back in time by medieval storytellers, before enrolling on to a fun sword school. 10am to 4pm.

Sat 18 Feb

Alice in Wonderland

Sevenoaks www.cluedupp.com

Tick tock, tick tock. Enter a virtual world of adventure and curiosity, solving clues in this unique outdoor escape-room style experience that unfolds exclusively via their awardwinning app. For one day only in the streets of Sevenoaks. 9am-2pm.

Sat 18 Feb to Sun 16 Apr

The World of Peter Rabbit™ Storytime Trail

The Beaney House of Art and Knowledge, Canterbury, CT1 2RA www.canterburymuseums.co.uk/ the-beaney Hop into this walkthrough experience, where you will be able to immerse yourself in The Tale of Peter Rabbit™. With activities to take part in along the way, there are plenty of opportunities for families to enjoy this well-loved tale.

Sat 18 Feb

Horrible Histories - ‘Terrible Tudors’ Author Workshop & Book Signing

The Alexander Centre, Faversham, ME13 8NZ www.thealex.org.uk

For an exciting and gruesome

Terrible Tudors activity workshop with Neil Tonge, renowned coauthor of award-winning books in the Horrible Histories series, this interactive session and book signing is not to be missed. £8.

Sat 18 to Sun 26 Feb

Faversham Literacy Festival

Various venues around Faversham www.favershamliteraryfestival.org

With jam-packed events this event offers an exciting mix of well-known authors, up-and-coming writers, and local talent, plus writing competitions for all ages. A great event for all the family.

CHILDREN’S THEARE

The Orchard Theatre

Dartford DA1 1ED

Box Office: 0343 310 0033 www.orchardtheatre.co.uk

Tue 31 Jan to Wed 1 Feb

Cirque - The Greatest Show Escape and step into the extraordinary - where musical theatre meets jaw-dropping circus extravaganza.

Mon 13 Feb

Once Upon A Time

A celebration of stories. Once Upon A Time presents a collection of pieces that celebrate the beauty of dance and the tradition of stories. Tickets £10.

Thu 16 Feb

Fireman Sam Live!

Can Fireman Sam come to the rescue and save the circus?

Become a fire-fighter cadet and then join Sam, Penny, Elvis, Station Officer Steele and Norman for an adventure of a lifetime.

EM Forster Theatre

Tonbridge School, TN9 1JP Box Office: 01732 304241 www.emftheatre.com

Fri 6 Jan to Sun 8 Jan

Dick Whittington

Join Dick Whittington and Tommy the Cat as they battle to save London Town from the evil Queen Rat. Featuring other characters such as Fairy Bowbells, Alice Fitzwarren, Idle Jack, Bonnie Bouffant and Alderman Fitzwarren.

Sat 21 Jan to Sun 22 Jan

The Big Top

For the fifth annual winter pantomime ‘The Big Top’ invites you for a tale full of loss, hope and restoration. A perfect family show!

The Marlow Theatre

The Friars, Canterbury CT1 2AS Box Office: 01227 787787 www.marlowetheatre.com

Until Sun 8 Jan

Sleeping Beauty

An enchanting tale that is beloved by all staring Ore Oduba and Carrie Hope Fletcher.

Tue 24 to Sun 29 Jan

Bugsy Malone

Alan Parker’s hit musical film comes to the stage in its first ever professional touring production. This musical comedy is filled with mobsters, showgirls and dreamers. Ages 6+.

Sat 18 and Sun 19 Feb

Hey Duggee The Live Theatre Show

Be part of the hit CBeebies show and join Duggee and the squirrels and many more of the favourite characters in this interactive production filled with music, puppets and laughter.

The Brook Theatre

Chatham, ME4 4SE

Box Office: 01634 338338 www.medwayticketslive.co.uk

Wed 15 to Sat 18 Feb

Cinderella Don’t miss the fabulous and magical pantomime of all: Cinderella! The ultimate treat for all the family.

The Stag Theatre

Sevenoaks TN13 1ZZ Box Office: 01732 450175 www.stagsevenoaks.co.uk

Mon 13 Feb

The Little Mermaid

Be hooked this half term in an underwater adventure of the Little Mermaid. With stunning costumes, a captivating scenery and is the perfect ‘under-the-sea’, must see!

The Hazlitt Theatre, Maidstone, ME14 1PL Box office: 01622 758611 www.parkwoodtheatres.co.uk/ Hazlitt-Theatre

Tue 14 Feb

The Jungle Book With original music, audience interaction and lots of comedy, this musical is the perfect for everyone.

Malthouse Theatre, Canterbury, CT2 7JA Box office: 01227 287234 www.malthousetheatre.co.uk

Thu 16 to Sat 18 Feb

High School Musical Featuring the songs such as ‘Start of Something New’, ‘Breaking free’ and many more. Its upbeat numbers make it the ideal show for all.

The Woodville Gravesend, DA12 1DD Box office:01474 337 500 www.woodville.co.uk

Wed 25 Jan

Beauty and the Beast- Ballet Theatre UK

Be our guest in this enchanting, beloved story of all time. Join Ballet Theatre UK and witness this tale being brought to life on stage. It is sure to be a spellbinding tale.

Tue 14 Feb

Cartoon Circus Live

A great mix of comedy and the thrill of the circus comes this half-term. A one hour family show featuring magic, illusions, high flying diabolos, puppets, prizes, and many more surprises in store.

The Marsh Academy Theatre Kent, TN28 8BB Box office: 07391904529 www.ticketsource.co.uk

Wed 15 Feb to Sat 18 Feb Aladdin

Let imaginations roam free, go for a magic carpet ride with Aladdin and other special characters in this classic yet captivating pantomime filled with fun, dance, songs and laughter.

Sheppey Little Theatre

Sheerness, ME12 1AF Box office: 01795 580006 www.sheppeylittletheatre.co.uk

Fri 20 Jan

The Adventures of Robin Hood Fear not, for the hero, Robin Hood is here to right the wrongs! Stealing from the rich and giving to the poor is his motto, to help the people of Nottingham rid the sheriff. £12.

The Avenue Theatre Sittingbourne, ME10 4DN Box office: 01795 471140 www.avenuetheatre.co.uk

Wed 15 to Sat 18 Feb

The Wizard of Oz

Based upon the classic motion picture, ‘there no place like home’ in this beloved tale featuring the iconic musical score from the film. An amateur production presented by arrangement with Tams Witmark. A Concord Theatricals Company.

Churchill Theatre Bromley

Bromley, BR1 1HA Box office: 0343 310 0020 www.churchilltheatre.co.uk

Sun 8 Jan

Sing-A-Long: A Encanto

From the producers of Sing-aLong-a Sound of Music and Singa-Long-a Frozen, the brand new smash hit film musical Encanto is fun for all the family. Fancy dress and full audience participation is encouraged.

Tue 2 to Sat 4 Feb

Cirque - The Greatest Show It’s time to step into the light. Escape with us for a night like no other, where we take you into a world where musical theatre meets jaw-dropping circus spectacular. Cirque is the award-winning, smash-hit circus musical that is fun for all the family. Tickets from £20, concessions available.

Playhouse Theatre Whitstable Whitstable, CT5 1AZ Box office: 01227 272042 www.playhousewhitstable.co.uk

Thu 19 to Sun 29 Jan

Treasure Island

Ahoy there me hearties! Come and join Long John Silver and his motley crew in this hilarious, music-filled pantomime!

Sat 25 Feb

The Belle Family go to the Ball Come and watch Belles Stage School yearly performance about a girl called CinderBella and her chance for a better life!