Autumn outdoor challenges for families
As the autumn approaches and the nights draw in once more, it can be a challenge to get outside. But fear not! The Outdoor Guide (www.theoutdoorguide.co.uk) is here with some great suggestions for outdoor activities for families to enjoy.
USE YOUR SENSES
It’s great to explore the outdoors using all of your senses. Imagine you have ears as large as an elephant - how many sounds can you hear? Imagine you have long tentacle arms like an octopus - how many different textures can you touch? Imagine you have the nose of a dog - how many different smells are in the air? Imagine you have the eyes of a hawkwhat can you see?
TREASURE HUNTING
A treasure is in the eye of the beholder and the natural world has many treasures just waiting to be found. Wander out and see how many you can find. Perhaps look for treasures that spell out the word NATURE - maybe you’ll find a nut, an acorn, a twig…
NATURE’S LARDER
In the autumn months, the hedgerows and woodlands are abundant with treats. Perhaps you’ll find some blackberries, sweet chestnuts or sloes to take home and make some tasty treats with. Remember not to take all of them from the tree or bush as the local wildlife will want to enjoy some too!
SLOW IT DOWN
All too often we’re moving too quickly, focusing on our destination rather than where we are. It’s only when we really slow down that we start to notice everything that is happening around us. What’s the slowest animal you can think of? A sloth perhaps or a tortoise? Imagine you’re one of them - moving slowly and just noticing what is happening around you.
SMALL THINGS
Sometimes we’re all too busy looking at the big picture to notice the small details within it. Grab yourself a magnifying glass and go explore the little things that are all around you in the natural world. What’s the smallest thing that you can find?
MAP YOUR PATCH
Maps offer a birds’ eye view of an area, showing all the detail of what’s there. Can you create your own map of the area where you live? What are the things you can see as you walk along the path? Perhaps you could include trees, hedges, ponds, houses and road turnings.
MAKING ART WITH THE PIECES
As the trees shed their leaves for another year, collect those you can find that have already fallen. Clearing a space on the ground as your canvas, use leaves and other objects you might have found to make your own works of art for others to enjoy.
BIRD FEEDERS
As we approach the cooler months, your local garden birds will be grateful for extra food that you can leave out for them. You can make your own bird feeders using things you find in the natural world. Open pine cones are perfect for this. Mix some seeds, oats, dried fruit or perhaps some grated cheese into some suet, lard or vegetable shortening and then smear it over the pine cone and hang somewhere the birds can easily reach it.
Editor Carla Finlayson editor@familiesnorthyorkshire.co.uk 07734 690020
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Welcome
Well, it’s back to school already and soon the nights will start drawing in too! So make haste while there are still pleasant days and plenty of daylight left and enjoy some family adventures. To entertain the kids, why not pick an autumn challenge to help them make the best of the great outdoors?
In this issue, we have a bumper ‘back to school’ education feature. If you are thinking about secondary schools for your child, take a look at our article about the features of a good one. Also how to introduce the classics to your child and learn what to do to help them when failure and disappointment come along.
Halloween is a favourite time of year for many children so why not take a look at our top tips for enjoying Halloween with all ages of children.
Finally, in this issue, we have Tamatgotchi digital pets to giveaway! Apply inside.
May/June issue competition winners Congratulations to all our winners. You can find a list at www.bit.ly/MJ24recipients
Families North Yorkshire is a franchise of Families Print Ltd of 75 Lisbon Avenue, Twickenham, TW2 5HL. Families is a registered trademark of Families Print Ltd. All franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. The contents of Families North Yorkshire are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families North Yorkshire. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine but the franchise owner and Families Print Ltd cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers, nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.
Editor, Families North Yorkshire
Overcoming disappointment and failure
By Lisa Wander and Catherine Loble
Whilst studies show that children learn better when they experience failure, no parent likes seeing their child upset or disappointed. It feels right to want to keep them happy and content by taking steps to avoid anything seemingly harmful they encounter, whether that be through distraction, bargaining or even with a quick credit-card swipe.
However, whilst these quick wins feel better or even just simpler, safeguarding children from disappointment ultimately hinders them from developing resilience and confidence to progress from childhood to adolescence and in their adult life. When children are given the opportunity to struggle and sometimes fail, you are helping them develop essential social and emotional skills.
What is disappointment and failure? Disappointment is a natural response to failure. It involves the feelings of thwarted desire, loss and discouragement when children fail to fulfil their hopes and expectations or those of others. Children are going to feel disappointment when they don’t achieve their goals or believe that they have let you down.
The stigma surrounding failure is a significant issue that impacts a child’s development, confidence and willingness to take risks. Both close family and society place high expectations on children to succeed academically and socially, which can often lead to an intense fear of failure. The emphasis on continual testing in our education system reinforces a narrow definition of success and failure too. If a child does not reach certain
benchmarks, they are often labelled a failure. This can lead to a downward spiral effect with children reducing their efforts, giving up easily and not taking risks. Children who fall into this spiral may subsequently have little confidence, self-esteem and motivation to achieve future goals.
So how do we not feel completely defeated as parents when we have to watch our child suffer?
Placating your children doesn’t allow them to understand the root causes and figure out how to not feel disappointed in the future. Rather we should let them flex their muscles and with support, encourage them to find solutions themselves. In giving our children the necessary skills to manage disappointment, it is important to validate their feelings, show empathy and be mindful of how you react towards your own disappointments.
Lisa and Catherine are co-founders of Emparenting (www.emparenting.co.uk), supporting children, parents and families with the insights, skills and tools needed to nurture the development and well-being of the next generation.
How to have a healthy perspective
Strategies to combat the stigma of failure
Understand that failure is a natural part of the learning process and see failures as opportunities for learning. Praise effort and persistence rather than just results and whilst showing your child empathy, avoid offering a consolation prize. Model your own healthy perspective on disappointment and allow your children to experience it, viewing stumbling blocks as opportunities.
Managing your expectations of your children
View your child as an individual. Children develop at different rates so don’t compare or be tempted to project your own challenges onto your children - they easily pick up on your negativity. Instead, be enthusiastic and positive, offer encouragement and support. Focus on positive, realistic expectations and celebrate effort as well as achievement. Help your child devise easily-achievable goals and separate them into manageable chunks, prioritising clear and consistent communication and expectations. Above all, validate their feelings which will help them develop perspective.
Introducing the classics to your child
By Erin Miller
At this year’s Hay Festival (the UK’s most prestigious literary event), children’s literature was a hot topic for discussion. Among those commenting were respected and prolific children’s authors, including Antony Horowitz CBE, author of the Alex Rider series, who observed the diminishing quality of children’s literature over the years, stating that ‘proper stories’ are being superseded by ‘silly books.’
There is no doubt that the classics are proper stories, characterised by their originality, complexity and the fact that they have stood the test of time. However, also appearing at the Hay Festival, the current Children’s Laureate, Joseph Coelho, claimed that today’s children would need a dictionary to read classics such as The Wind in the Willows and Treasure Island.
So, if classics are challenging, with sometimes outdated ideas (for example, around gender roles) is it desirable or necessary to get children reading them? My answer is a firm ‘yes.’
As an English teacher with over a decade of experience, I’ve seen hundreds of children connecting deeply with classic texts. I’ve also witnessed children making excellent progress in their reading skills when faced with books that might seem ‘too hard.’
Furthermore, having taught in the Far East, the Middle East and the UK, I know that many of the classics are enjoyed by children across the globe. Universal themes such as friendship touch everyone and are dealt with in the most insightful, exciting and even tragic ways in classic children’s literature.
It is recognised that reading for twenty minutes a day builds vocabulary and academic progress in all subjects. However,
Which classics to start with?
In the primary years, consider the Greek myths. It’s highly likely that your child will encounter some of these at school but translations such as Geraldine McCaughrean’s retelling of The Odyssey will give them the opportunity to read the full adventures. Roger Lancelyn Green’s retelling of King Arthur is also a good version to introduce to younger readers.
It is a universally acknowledged fact that a love of reading drops off in the secondary years. Fortunately, there is a wealth of quality YA fiction out there. But which classics should your secondary-aged child start with? Some classics have dropped off the curriculum, such as Golding’s Lord of the Flies and Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men. I would highly recommend these books, as their exploration of power, friendship and society will have some resonance with young people finding their way in the world. Orwell’s Animal Farm is another book which really helps to develop young people’s understanding of politics and power, with memorable characters in an unforgettable allegory.
this does actually depend on what your child is reading. With both complexity of plot and language, the classics certainly will ensure vocabulary expansion and provide new or challenging ideas.
In addition, a broad knowledge of classic texts will equip your child with ‘background knowledge,’ which is an essential reading skill that has been proven to compensate for a weaker reading ability.
With AI generative platforms such a ChatGPT, there is a risk that today’s children could struggle with originality and creativity.
By encouraging your child to experience the classics, they will be armed with the stories that built today’s world. They will be exposed to a wide range of ideas to interpret and fuel their ideas in their own writing.
Erin Miller is a teacher with a keen interest in how research can be used in the classroom to improve learning.
What does a good state secondary school look like?
By Melanie Sanderson
Choosing a secondary school is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make for your child. Very likely, your two priorities are whether your child will reach their academic potential and whether they will be happy there. Here are my tips on what to look for.
Hot-house or greenhouse?
Is the school educationally aspirational and how does this manifest? Look for relaxed and respectful teacher-pupil relations. They are key to successful learning. Is the library well-stocked and busy? Teacher recruitment and retention is challenging all schools. Ask pupils how often they have cover teachers.
Are pupils regularly assessed? Performance measures such as Progress 8 (see www.gov.uk) are good indicators of how a school adds value as they measure academic attainment rates over time. Are there programmes to stretch the more academic children? What about those with special educational needs and disabilities?
Breadth of curriculum
The best state schools offer and value a broad liberal arts education beyond the standard curriculum. For instance, Bohunt School in Hampshire ‘blew the socks off’ the Good Schools Guide with immersion classes in Mandarin. Some of the best state schools invest in top notch sports facilities and coaching, others have outstanding creative or performing arts spaces. Pick a school that suits your child’s strengths. Check out school notice boards and the school’s social media for co-curricular activities and trips the children are doing outside the classroom too.
When choosing a secondary school, DON’T…
Judge a school entirely by its Ofsted report: a report can quickly fall out of date and one word judgements cannot paint a full picture. Look for more nuanced information. Other local parents with children already at the school are a great place to start.
Take too much notice of social media community group grumbles about a school. These are usually led by a singular disgruntled parent.
Be swayed by dinner party bragging rights. The superduper academic grammar school that everyone’s talking about may or may not be the best place for your child to flourish. Equally, don’t choose a school based on what YOU would have liked as a child.
Lie, cheat or change your religion to get your child into a particular school!
Be put off by a school that isn’t pristine. Look instead for cleanliness and orderliness. Ask to visit the toilets the pupils use – they’ll tell you a lot about the school’s values!
Pastoral
Good schools have clear systems. Every child is known; nobody slips through the net. Ask if reports and open evenings include pastoral updates. Does the school’s praise/discipline system flex to meet individual needs and align with your family values? Ask pupils what they do at break and lunch. Good schools include spaces for children to seek quiet reflection when needed.
Communication
Good schools also communicate well with parents. The tone of school newsletters and social media feeds can tell you a lot, while an active PTA is a sign of an engaged parent community. If you can, pass by the school at home time and observe pupil behaviour as they leave the site. Another top tip is to talk with pupils higher up the school. Would you be happy for your children to turn out like them?
Melanie Sanderson is Managing Editor of The Good Schools Guide (www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk), which contains frank, impartial reviews of schools. Its writers visit thousands of schools annually, speaking to Heads, teachers, pupils and parents.
Motor Town First
Your family guide to What's On
If you’re looking for places to visit and things to keep the kids entertained this Autumn, then our What’s On guide is packed full of ideas for places to take the kids, whatever the weather, day’s out, local events and shows.
Viking Fun
JORVIK Viking Centre
Travel back to the year 975 AD at the JORVIK Viking Centre! A world-famous ‘must-see’ visitor attraction in the heart of York city centre.
Filey Kite Festival
Filey Brigg Country Park
The annual Filey Kite Festival is brought to you by the Northern Kite group and North Yorkshire Council. Partnering with the Filey Food & Drink Festival to bring flavours of the world. The event offers spectacular views across Filey, with some record breaking kites, and fantastic displays.
Nidderdale Agricultural Show
Bewerley Park Show Field, Pateley Bridge
Nidderdale’s Big Day Out is a classic and timeless event and includes sheep dog trials, a dog show, show jumping, livestock classes, cookery demonstrations, trade stands and an exhibition cricket match.
Pick Your Own Pumpkin
Spilmans Farm, Thirsk
Make memories in the pumpkin patch – there is fun for everyone. Can you find the location of the special photo opportunities dotted all over the farm? See the website for available dates.
Apple day & Apple Throwing Championships
Newby Hall & Gardens
Head to Newby Hall to witness apple pressing demonstrations, Cider tasting, a display of the many apple varieties grown in the orchards
and advice on all things fruity from the experts at the Northern Fruit Group. Central to Apple Day is the hotly contested Apple Throwing Championships where whoever throws an Apple the furthest over the River Ure wins the prestigious title and trophy!
Pumpkin Patch Trailer Tours
Lotherton Hall
All aboard the Pumpkin Express! Head to Lotherton in the lead up to Halloween for family pumpkin picking and a thrilling tractor ride to get you in the spooky spirit!
Autumn Open Day
Temple Newsam
Explore Temple Newsam House and Farm on their autumn open day and pay as you feel. There are activities for all the family!
Illuminated Whitby Abbey Whitby Abbey
Cast light on a dark history this Halloween. Witness an unforgettable evening of Victorian Gothic entertainment beneath the soaring illuminated remains of Whitby Abbey.
Hallowtween York Maze
Calling all fearless 10–15-year-olds and adults of a more nervous disposition...Venture into a new dimension of spine-tingling fun this Halloween. You are invited to explore 4 of the farm’s most mysterious buildings, each with its own twisted history you will discover for yourself once you step inside...
Halloween Half Term at Whitby Abbey Whitby Abbey
Gather your little monsters for a ghoulishly good day out at Whitby Abbey this half term. Follow the quest to solve creepy clues and gather round to listen to spooky stories.
Park in the Dark
Danby Lodge National Park Centre
Take a twilight wander around the grounds of Danby Lodge. Join the shadowy stroll through the woods, stopping here and there to investigate life in the dark.
Step
Web’oween
The Web Adventure Park
Head to The Web Adventure Park at half term for pumpkins, rides, entertaining and more! It’s a great day out for the family.
Pumpkin Trail
Bolton Abbey
The pumpkin trail is back! Navigate your way through Strid Wood following the giant pumpkins. Keep your eyes peeled for clues hidden in the mystery boxes along the way to help unveil clues to solve the puzzle!
Family Theatre
Awful Auntie
Grand Opera House, York
When Stella sets off to visit London with her parents, she has no idea her life is in danger!
When Stella wakes up three months later, only her Aunt Alberta can tell her what has happened. But not everything Alberta tells her turns out to be true and Stella quickly discovers she’s in for the fight of her life against her very own awful Auntie!
Comedy Club 4 Kids
Harrogate Theatre
Cracking entertainment for everyone over six years old and under 400 years old (no vampires). Witness some of the best comedians from the UK and world circuit doing what they do best… but without the rude bits!
Dinosaur World Live York Theatre Royal
Grab your compass and join the intrepid explorer across uncharted territories to discover a pre-historic world of astonishing (and remarkably lifelike) dinosaurs. Meet a host of
impressive creatures, including every child’s favourite flesheating giant, the Tyrannosaurus Rex, a Triceratops, Giraffatitan, Microraptor and Segnosaurus!
Football Freddie Harrogate Studio Theatre
Football Freddie tells the story of Freddie Farren, a little girl who loves football but is too nervous to join in a game in her local park. Out of a magical photograph steps Freddie’s Great-Great-Great Uncle Fred, a real footballer from the olden days. Uncle Fred takes Freddie back in time and they re-live footballing glories of old. With Uncle-Fred’s encouragement, Freddie renews her confidence and enthusiasm and everyone joins in a good old-fashioned kick around.
Magic Mike: Not So Spooky Halloween Show
Bridlington Spa
Join Magic Mike and Count Chuckula for a magical Panto style show full of messy ghostly fun for the whole family.
The Christmas Experience at Lotherton Hall
Yorkshire’s ultimate festive day out! The Christmas Experience will be returning to Lotherton from 23 November to 5 January 2025.
Visit Santa and the elves for a magical experience in the snow filled North Pole. Pre-schoolers can visit Santa’s Cabin on weekdays.
Follow the twinkling lights and explore the festive traditions along the Woodland Walk. Discover fairies in their secret hideaway Fairy Dell, listen to them giggle and whisper as you tip-toe through.
Marvel in the splendour of the Edwardian House in all its festive finery, here you can join Mrs Claus in the Hall to decorate gingerbread people and sing the odd carol. Then lastly, head to the enchanting Elf Village and make sure to stay toasty with a hot drink whilst the children decorate Christmas ceramics and make their very own reindeer feed for Christmas Eve. Weekend activities also include family magic shows in our Yuletide Yurts.
Tickets go on sale 11 September. Pre-booking is essential –visit thechristmasexperience.co.uk
School Open Day Directory
Please check with the school directly to check dates and times for Open Days.
Whilst care has been taken to cover a wide range of areas within the North Yorkshire County, all schools are not listed. State school primaries rarely publish their forthcoming open days/evenings, so it has not been possible to list these unfortunately. Please contact state schools directly for more information.
Brackenfield School 20 September www.brackenfieldschool.co.uk
Ashville College 28 September www.ashville.co.uk
Queen Ethelburga’s 28 September & 16 November www.qe.org
The Mount School 5 October www.mountschoolyork.co.uk
Queen Mary’s School 5 October www.queenmarys.org
Pocklington School 12 October www.pocklingtonschool.com
Celebrating the Arts
Queen Ethelburga’s Collegiate (QE) are celebrating after receiving the prestigious Gold Award from Artsmark, who are accredited by Arts Council England. Artsmark offer the only creative quality standard for schools and to achieve the award, QE had to develop their arts and cultural provision to embed a broad and ambitious curriculum.
On receiving the award, Helen Stephenson, Head of Creative Arts at Queen Ethelburga’s said, “We’re extremely proud of achieving our Gold Artsmark Award. We are committed to delivering a high-quality arts and cultural education and are looking forward to growing our provision alongside Artsmark.”
Dr Darren Henley OBE, Chief Executive of the Arts Council, said: “I would like to congratulate Queen Ethelburga’s on their Artsmark Award. Becoming an Artsmark school demonstrates that through offering a broad, ambitious and creative curriculum, young people have the opportunity to develop character and resilience, increasing their knowledge, curiosity and skills that will remain with them through to adult life.”
Queen Ethelburgas of York is opening its campus on Saturday 28th September. Book onto the Open Morning today to learn more about the school’s state-of-the-art facilities, excellent academic results and superior extra-curricular programme of over 100 activities. Find out more at www.qe.org/open-day
Challenge the Wild, changing lives
The Outdoor Guide Foundation, started by Julia Bradbury and her sister Gina, launched The Waterproof and Wellies Campaign to raise funds to provide every state primary school with waterproof clothing so that every child can play outdoors in all weathers.
Recently, Challenge The Wild donated a fun family activity break in the Forest of Bowland to schools that have already received kits from the Foundation, enabling children who perhaps otherwise wouldn’t be able to take part, in activities such as rock climbing, abseiling, orienteering and hiking.
‘To witness these children and their parents embrace all that the great outdoors has to offer is why we do what we do at The Outdoor Guide. I’m eternally grateful to the support of Challenge the Wild.’ Gina Bradbury Fox
Two young ambassadors of the Foundation, Aidan and Oliver, who have each fundraised for it through their own outdoor challenges also joined the activity break to meet some of those that they have helped. www.theoutdoorguidefoundation.org
Halloween at Lotherton
This Halloween, Lotherton invites you to experience two spine-chilling events that will plunge you into a world of twisted fairytales.
Spooky Skeletons: Scarytales is a daytime event perfect for all ages. As you wind your way through the beautiful grounds, gardens and house at Lotherton, all is not as it seems. Come face-to-face with a series of skeletons, making themselves at home and reimagining classic fairytales with a Halloween twist. From Snow White’s eerie encounter with the poisoned apple, to Little Red Riding Hood’s perilous journey through the woods, these displays offer a fun and slightly spooky exploration of Lotherton that’s perfect for families and younger visitors.
And why not make more Halloween memories with Pumpkin Picking at Lotherton? New for 2024, hop onboard Lotherton’s legendary tractor trailer and be whisked to our patch, where you can pick out your own pumpkin to take home and decorate in time for spooky season.
As night falls, the atmosphere at Lotherton shifts dramatically for those aged 8 to 15. Once Upon a Nightmare is an immersive scare event where familiar fairytale characters take a dark and sinister turn. Navigate through the misty gardens and meet Snow White, the Evil Queen and Red Riding Hood as you’ve never seen them before - each living their own version of a nightmare. This event is designed to be creepy and thrilling, with just the right number of scares for younger audiences seeking an unforgettable adventure.
Halloween at Lotherton promises to be an experience like no other. Secure your tickets now and step into a world where fairytales meet frights! Visit museumsandgalleries. leeds.gov.uk/lotherton
Children’s writing at ‘crisis point’
Children’s writing is at a ‘crisis point’ as the number enjoying it in their spare time dwindles, a report by the National Literacy Trust suggests.
The number of young people who say they enjoy writing has fallen drastically over the past 13 years, according to the National Literacy Trust research. Just 28.7% of those aged between 8 and 18 said they enjoyed writing in their free time in 2023, compared to 46.8% in 2010.
At the same time there is a decline in children’s writing attainment with only 69% of children having met the expected standard of writing in Key Stage 2 Sats in 2022, compared to 78% in 2019. Most children (72%) enjoy writing in their free time at ages 5-8 but this steadily declines as they get older.
More info at www.literacytrust.org.uk/news
Should you use your home to fund care?
The new Chancellor Rachel Reeves has delayed introducing any cap on costs someone might have to pay towards their care. Here is how Hartlaw Solicitors can help.
The worry of care fees is often raised by the clients we meet. Our experience is that an elderly couple are perfectly able to maintain their independence and keep each other at home, but when one of them passes away the survivor sometimes is not able to remain at home alone and requires full time care.
You will be pleased to know that there are provisions you can include in your Wills to protect part of the family home should this situation arise.
Shocking as it might sound, when a couple have been married for decades, their Will should not necessarily leave everything to the surviving spouse as the risk is everything that is inherited could go to pay care fees. With careful planning, there are measures that can be put in place in the Wills to protect the assets. This may include creation of Trusts.
You could place any assets in the Trust, a share of a house or cash. Historically with interest rates having been so low in past
years, it tends to be a share of the family home that is placed in Trust.
The title deeds to the family home may need to be altered so that instead of both parties owning the whole of the house they each own a distinct half share. On the death of the first spouse, the half is held in Trust for the survivor. The survivor can live in the property because they own their own half anyway and is the only person able to live in the half which the deceased owned, but they are responsible for the outgoings of insurance, council tax, gas bill, etc.
If the house is sold because the survivor has to enter full time care, then the Local Authority will assess the share of the house belonging to the surviving spouse
however the Local Authority cannot assess the underlying capital value of the first deceased’s share of the house held in Trust.
The survivor has the ability to move home and can roll over the proceeds of the first house to be held on the same terms. If the survivor requires care they are not depriving themselves of half the property because it is action their late husband or wife has taken.
If you are concerned about your family home being used to fund care fees, please contact the Private Client team at Hartlaw Solicitors. We are happy to discuss the full details and any concerns that you may have.
Contact Hartlaw Solicitors
Call 01937 547000 Email info@hartlaw.co.uk www.hartlaw.co.uk
Should I stay or should I go?
By Andrew Campbell
When you think it’s time for a change in an after-school club or class for your child, whether moving from dancing to swimming or to another class offering the same activity, take into consideration both the advantages and disadvantages.
One important benefit of changing extracurricular activities is the exposure to new challenges and opportunities. Trying something new can stimulate your child’s mind and body differently, fostering more well-rounded development. For instance, if your child has been involved in dancing, switching to swimming will introduce a new set of physical demands and skills. Learning to adapt to new environments and expectations builds resilience and versatility; valuable traits that will serve children well throughout their lives.
Similarly, if your child no longer feels excited or challenged by the class they are taking but still wants to stick to the same activity, it could worth finding a new provider better suited to where they are now at.
Changing activities can also provide your child with the opportunity to make new friends. Each extracurricular environment has its unique social circle. Transitioning to a new activity introduces your child to peers they might not have met otherwise.
However, there are disadvantages. One key drawback is the potential loss of continuity with an instructor or teacher familiar with your child’s unique skills, capabilities and personality. A leader who understands your child’s strengths and weaknesses can tailor their guidance to maximise your child’s progress.
Switching to a new class or activity means starting from scratch. Moreover, changing activities can result in the loss of the progress achieved in the current activity. Many extracurricular pursuits, such as martial arts, dance or music, have structured grading systems that mark progress. Moving to a different activity might mean giving up hard-earned advancements and starting a new grading structure from the beginning.
Maintaining established friendships within the current activity should not be underestimated either. Consistent social interactions help children build strong bonds and a sense of belonging. Switching to a new activity involves entering an unfamiliar social environment where fitting in might be challenging. The risk of not integrating well into the new group could lead to feelings of isolation or disappointment.
Ultimately, deciding to change extracurricular activities should be guided by thoroughly understanding your child’s preferences, strengths and needs. Engage in open conversations with your child about their interests and feelings regarding both the current and prospective activities.
Scheduling after school activities for your child involves juggling various factors to ensure a balanced and enriching experience:
Cost: activities like music lessons, sports or dance can be costly. Parents need to budget carefully to avoid financial strain and assess whether the benefits justify the expense.
Loss of unstructured time: children need free play to develop creativity, problem-solving skills and social interactions. Overloading their schedule with structured activities can lead to burnout and deprive them of essential downtime.
Child’s interests and passions: engaging in activities they genuinely enjoy fosters a lifelong love for learning and personal growth. However, balance is key; too many commitments can lead to stress and fatigue.
Logistics: consider transportation and time management. Co-ordinating multiple activities may become challenging, impacting family time and routines.
Ultimately, the goal is to create a well-rounded schedule that promotes your child’s development while allowing for rest and spontaneous play.
Clubs & Classes Directory
If your kids are wanting to get active, desperate for drama, eager to meet new friends or learn a new skill, then look at our guide to local clubs & classes to keep them busy!
2PRU Gymnastics Club
An inclusive community where fun, family and a sense of belonging thrive. Whether you are a beginner or an experienced gymnast, their expert guidance and positive attitude will help you succeed. www.2prugymnasticsclub. co.uk
ARTventurers
Award winning, colourful, creative (often messy) art classes for babies, toddlers and children. www.artventurers.co.uk
Baby Band Interactive music session for children who are independently sitting to interactive music session for children who are independently sitting to 3 years old. www.babyband.co.uk
Baby Swimmers
York based swimming lessons for all ages. Helping with brain development, physical development and emotional development. www.babyswimmers.co.uk
Danceology
Offering high quality dance training in a friendly and welcoming environment. Classes available from age 2 years. www.danceology.co.uk
Kidslingo Inspiring young children, from birth to 12 years, to love languages (French & Spanish) from the very start of their language learning journeys. www.kidslingo.co.uk
The Little Gym For every stage of your child’s development from 4 months to 12 years. www.thelittlegym.co.uk
The Music Room, Selby Accessible private music tuition for all ages and levels. One-to-one and small group lessons available. www.themusicroomsselby.co.uk
Perfect Pitch Stars Drama and singing lessons from babies to adults to develop confidence, interpersonal and performance skills within a fun and friendly environment. www.perfectpitchstars.com
Phonics with Robot Reg high-energy classes which open a world of Literacy to children and teach early phonics skills. Classes are available for children aged 3 months–6 years. www.robotreg.co.uk
Razzamataz
York based classes in performing arts - singing, dancing and drama. Catering for all ages from 2-18 years. www.york.razzamataz.co.uk
Rhythm Time Music & singing classes for babies, toddlers & pre-schoolers. www.rhythmtime.net
Rugbytots
Dynamic weekly sessions that enable children aged 2-7 years to develop their social and physical skills in a fun, positive environment. www.rugbytots.co.uk
Tumble Tots
Gym classes for children from 6 months to 7 years. www.tumbletots.com
York Theatre Royal Youth Theatre
Youth theatre class for children aged 5+. www.yorktheatreroyal.co.uk/bepart-of-it/children-and-youngpeople
Feature your club or class here, call 07734 690020
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Making money real for kids in a cashless society
By Tanith Carey
To a young child, money is a magical commodity which allows grown-ups to go into shops and take anything they want. And it’s not just about understanding where money comes from and how it’s used: in an increasingly cashless society, money is even more of an abstract concept for kids to grasp.
In the days of coins and notes, children could see that money was something tangible, used for goods and services; and that it could run out. Now that we can just tap and go, kids don’t even see money being exchanged. So, it’s even harder for them to see that it’s not an unlimited resource. This requires parents to put a little more thought into helping kids understand how finances work. After all, managing money is a lifelong skill, bringing a range of key benefits.
As well as boosting their maths, money teaches kids how to control their impulses, develop patience, delay gratification; and ultimately spend wisely throughout life. Indeed, according to research by Cambridge University, attitudes to money are formed by around the age of 7.
Practical life lessons
Kids first grasp what money represents around the age of 6. Start by paying them their first pocket money in coins to make it tangible. Give them a see-through jar so they can see it disappear when they spend it. When you’re out and about, try to use cash as well as cards. Each time you do use your card, explain it’s the same as having the same amount taken out of your ‘jar,’ aka your bank account. As they get older, start sharing your own spending decisions too.
Tips for teaching younger children
Pay pocket money as in the real world: a fixed allowance on the same day each week, just like a wage and it’s their responsibility as to how to spend it. This teaches the value of money and that it’s not an unlimited resource.
Help them track their money on screen: if you give them a prepaid debit card, as many parents do, show them their balance on a family tablet. Watch the numbers go up and down together.
Let them earn: come up with some small jobs around your home and set a price for them. When you transfer their pay, let them see it pop up on screen. This will show how work earns money and how money gets transferred.
Play board games: Money-based board games like Monopoly and Pay Day still use old-fashioned play bank notes and can also introduce concepts like debt, mortgages, taxes and saving.
Talk about it. For example, when you go to buy an ice-cream with them, chat through the different prices for each item. Explain how the higher the cost, the more money will go out of your bank account. When you go to pay, rather than just tap, show your child the amount displayed on the card reader so they link what you’re buying to the money it costs.
Explain that if you spent all your money on ice-creams, you would have less to spend on other more important items you all need, namely food, clothes and travel.
Pocket money is one of the seventy five real world scenarios tackled in the book What’s My Tween Thinking? Practical Child Psychology for Modern Parent co-authored by Tanith Carey with Dr Angharad Rudkin, published by DK books and available now from www.bookshop.org
Tips for teaching older children
Share your spending decisions
Parents often don’t share with children how much money they have or how they make financial decisions. So kids may believe you have an unlimited amount and one day they’ll be the same. To help them think responsibly, calmly share some of your own money management decisions. When you’re out shopping, chat through your choices and how you compare prices. You might also show how your purchases affect your bank balance, so they learn basic cause-and-effect.
Talk about the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want’ In a tap-and-go society, it’s easier than ever to use a card to buy an item without thinking. That’s why it’s important to introduce some ‘friction’ to slow down the process. When you buy something, talk about the difference between a ‘need’ and a ‘want.’ Explain that ‘needs’ are everything you require to survive, like food, shelter. ‘Wants’ are complementary add-ons which are nice to have but you can live without them.
Five mindful questions to ask your child about their day
By Lorena Bernal
Communicating with our kids is something many of us struggle with. We often think it is just about words but it’s much more than that. Our children are constantly connecting with us on a deeper level, picking up our body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and even how we interact with others in their presence. If our words don’t match our genuine state of being, our kids will see through it, potentially leading to mistrust.
The key here is to be more mindful in your communication style by listening actively, being present in conversations and asking questions that delve beyond the surface level. Here are five examples of mindful questions to help you develop a stronger connection with your kids.
What were the highlights of your day?
Ask with the same enthusiasm a child has for watching their favourite film or sports team’s highlights. Try: ‘Come on, what were the highlights of your day at school?’ and truly listen to their response without judgement. Engage with the emotions they express, whether joy, excitement or even frustration. By avoiding labels like ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ you allow them to share their experiences freely.
Do you know what happened to me today?
Share something interesting about your own day. This encourages them to reciprocate with their own stories. Make your story engaging and show genuine emotion. You might say: ‘You won’t believe what happened to me today!’ and then follow up by asking for their advice, regardless of their age. They’ll appreciate that you value their input.
How is your friend?
Asking about their friends shows that you also care about the people who are important to them. This question is less direct and feels less like an interrogation. It helps build a bond between you because their social circle is a significant part of their world. By showing interest in their friends, you validate their relationships and experiences.
Drop rigid expectations
Parents’ expectations usually get in the way of honest communication. Instead of evaluating what our kids do or how they do it, we often judge them against our expectations and standards. For instance, if we expect our child to complete their homework well and on time, anything short of that may seem inadequate to us.
To truly connect with our children, we should drop rigid expectations. Trust in their individuality and courageously release the need to control their outcomes, allowing them to grow and express themselves freely.
Ask about something specific they were going to face that day
Show them that you remember details about what they have told you. It could be about an activity they had planned or a conversation they needed to have. By recalling specifics, you demonstrate that you pay attention to what’s important to them, fostering a sense of being seen and valued.
Sometimes, don’t ask anything
Simply be present. Kiss them, smile, ask a casual question like: ‘How was your day?’ and then just be with them. Comment on the weather, tell them how much you missed them or how lovely they look. Embrace the potential silence; sometimes, children need a quiet, loving presence more than words. Share experiences, laughter and affection.
Whatever approach you choose, refrain from judging or teaching a lesson immediately. The goal is to create a safe space where your child feels heard, valued and free to express their true selves. Make sure you truly hear them, value them and accept them for who they are.
By asking mindful questions and being present, you build a deeper, more genuine connection with your child, laying the foundation for open and honest communication.
Lorena Bernal is a certified life coach and spiritual life coach and Founder of the events and coaching platform Live Love Better (www.livelovebetter.co.uk).
Work on yourself
Children are incredibly perceptive. If they feel responsible for their parents’ happiness, they may become reluctant to communicate honestly. They need to feel free and safe to be themselves, without fearing they might upset their parents’ emotional world.
A key step in fostering effective communication with our children is to work on ourselves — our happiness, peace, self-confidence and self-love. When we create a safe and balanced environment, children feel secure enough to express themselves honestly without feeling burdened by the weight of our emotions.
Terrifying tips for the scariest Halloween ever
By Sarah Lindsley
As October draws to an end and the nights get colder and darker, hedges get wrapped in cobwebs and giant spiders hang from doorways. Children chat excitedly about costumes and supermarket shelves are emptied of sweets.
Modern day Halloween is huge in the UK with an astonishing £1 billion spent on the celebration in 2023. But what is it that gets us so excited about 31 October? Well, it’s a chance to dress up, indulge that sweet tooth and have some seriously spooky fun. And when else is it acceptable to knock on strangers’ doors and eat sweets all night?
So, whether you are hitting the neighbourhood with your witch’s cape and cauldron or cuddling up on the sofa with a scary movie, here are some top ideas to make this Halloween a celebration to remember.
TRICK OR TREAT!
Being allowed to dress up, go outside in the dark and knock on your neighbours’ doors shouting ‘trick or treat?’ is a dream come true for lots of children. Not to mention the buckets of sweets and chocolates which follow! Costumes range from the traditional witches and vampires to a more modernday take on the theme; science fiction and television-inspired characters such as Spiderman and Barbie. Or why not get creative and make your own costume? An old sheet with some eye holes cut out of it makes a very convincing ghost.
Nothing says Halloween like a pumpkin carving session. Design your own or get inspiration online. And if you’re feeling really adventurous, head to your nearest pumpkin patch in October to pick your own pumpkin!
FACE PAINTING FUN
IT’S PARTY TIME
Staying in is the new going out, after all. Invite your neighbours round for some Halloweenthemed party games like apple bobbing or pin the hat on the witch. Introduce a murder mystery game or tie doughnuts to a string and see who can eat them off quickest - older kids will be begging to be involved too.
GET CRAFTY
For younger children who might not fancy the full trick-or-treating experience, you can still get into the Halloween spirit at home and decorate the house for some festive fun. Spiders webs cut out of paper look great draped around the bedroom or hang some toilet roll bats from your windows and hear the trick-or-treaters scream!
If you don’t fancy the all-out DIY costume, you can have some fun with face paints and the whole family can get involved. Spooky spiders and cute cats step this way!
GET IN THE SCARY SPIRIT
From the charming Coraline to the terrifying The Blair Witch Project for the braver teens in your life, Halloween is the perfect time to cosy up on the sofa, make some popcorn and settle in for a family scary movie marathon.
HALLOWEEN BAKE OFF
Halloween provides the perfect excuse to get creative in the kitchen and little hands can get involved too. Why not bake some skeleton biscuits using simple shop-bought moulds? Use coloured icing to give your sweet treats the fear factor. The messier the better...
CREEPY CAMPFIRES
Get the firepit going and toast some marshmallows. Once the s’mores are being devoured and the ghost stories begin, Halloween is in full swing for everyone.
HELLO PUMPKIN!