The Crest 113

Unleash your creativity

There are so many creative people in our community who deserve to be celebrated, and some of them are not only willing but thrilled to share their skills and knowledge with you.

For some time I have been wanting to put together a feature showcasing a selection of the various short courses available in our area, and I am absolutely delighted with Jess’s compilation of activities for adults to get stuck into. Weekday classes, evening courses and weekend workshops … there’s something here for everyone – whether you’re keen on woodwork, pottery or even ballroom dancing.

Speaking of dancing, our gorgeous cover features a few young ballerinas from Sue Cook Dance Studio. Sandy finds out more about this well-known and muchloved dance school, and discovers how dance not only has physical benefits for growing bodies – but also for growing minds by developing perseverance, self-discipline and determination.

While I roast some coffee with Laura Hayes-Foley, Shirley meets glass artist Mandi Saunders, Maya pays a special visit to The Browns School, and our dear historian Robin rummages through Winston Park’s past. We also get tween parenting tips from Christy in this issue,

and learn more about ChatGPT from Craig.

A shout-out to our wonderful bunch of contributors who all offer their own unique voices, and continue delivering beautiful stories from our community!

Until next time,

Rediscover Durban

If you want some inspiration for Easter holiday activities or need to be reminded of the wonders of Durban, pop over to our website by scanning the QR code below and read Illa Thompson’s guide to her beloved hometown.

Share Your Courses

katrine@famouspublishing.co.za www.thecrestonline.co.za W Crest Magazine

Do you know of or do you offer short courses in the Upper Highway area? Whether it’s photography, a new language or something completely different – get in touch with me and we’ll feature your course on our online platforms!

Doody Adams 083 325 7341

Katrine Anker-Nilssen 083 309 6736

Charlene de Vos 073 383 8635

Meghan Dewet 083 533 5898

Copyright: All material in this issue is subject to copyright and belongs to Famous Publishing unless otherwise indicated. No part of the material may be quoted, photocopied, reproduced or stored by an electronic system without prior written permission from Famous Publishing.

Disclaimer: While every effort is taken to ensure the accuracy of the contents of this publication, neither the authors nor the publisher will bear any responsibility for the consequences of any actions based on information contained herein. Neither do they endorse any products/services advertised herein. Material which appears under ‘Advertorial’ is paid for.

*To the people of Everton, Gillitts, Hillcrest, Kloof, St Helier and Winston Park, the office parks, the residential estates and, of course, all our advertisers, thank you for your continued support.

Published by Famous Publishing www.famousdurban.co.za

Printed by Novus Managed distribution by Vibrant Direct

The ABC logo is a valued seal of trust, providing measurement, compliance and auditing services which protects the way advertising is traded. The Crest is ABC audited and certified.

In compliance with the Protection of Personal Information Act 4, if you do not want to receive The Crest magazine for free, please email sarah.mackintosh@famouspublishing.co.za

For more information visit: www.famousdurban.co.za

*ON THE COVER: Sue Cook Dance School students. Picture: Sarah Orchard Photography

ATM

Absa Bank

Nedbank

Automotive

ACA Auto Parts

Hi Q Hillcrest

Electronics

Audio Architex

Bergens Appliances & Repairs

Fashion

Calypso

Quiksilver

Home & Décor

Fabric & Lace

Haus of Linen

Home Etc

Household Plastics

Paint & Beyond

Rugs Original

Zebbies Lighting

Health & Beauty Clicks

Ear Institute

Entropy Hair Design

Hair Base

Laser Lipo Global

Moffatt Optical

Prestige Dentistry Hillcrest

Rain Natural Skincare

Sorbet

Food & Drink

Manolis Munchies

The Juice Kitchen

Tops at Spar

What’s Cooking?

Woolworths Food

Hobbies & Gifts

Hillcrest Art Supplies

Nikki’s The Gift Shop

The Toy Factory Shop

Wool n’ Weave

Offices

Acutts

Antony Kerdachi & Associates

Guardian Professional

Accounting Solutions

Ridgetop Investment Managers

Restaurants

Olive & Oil

Oscars Café

The Black Rabbit

The Library Bistro & Wine Bar

Woolworths Café

Stationery & Office

Bidvest Waltons

The Ink Drop

Speciality Stores

PetMAX

KEEPING YOU IN THE LOOP

GLAMPING IN FRESH MOUNTAIN AIR

Mountain Splendour Eco-Resort is a 4-star camping and caravan eco-resort located in the Champagne Valley, offering fabulous glamping facilities. This is camping made oh-soeasy, as you arrive to a fully equipped, pre-erected tent – complete with fridge, lights, tables, chairs, beds, crockery and cutlery.

Mountain Splendour offers tennis and volleyball courts,

a spectacular swimming pool and a kids heated splash pool, a big playground, an animal farm and so much more. This is where free-range children can have fun, while the adults relax and take in the beautiful views!

There are also short walking trails around the farm and shady picnic sites along the river, as well as a 10km purpose-built MTB track around the property.

FOR MORE INFO: 036 468 1172; info@mountainsplendour.co.za

67 BLANKETS FOR NELSON MANDELA DAY

Nine years ago Carolyn Steyn accepted a challenge issued by the late Nelson Mandela’s PA, Zelda la Grange, to make 67 blankets for the needy in time for Nelson Mandela Day. Realising she’d have to ask for help, Carolyn posted a plea on Facebook. Incredibly, she was soon flooded with hundreds of pledges for blankets.

Fast forward to 2023, and this has blossomed into an

international movement for good. In South Africa alone volunteers, “KnitWits for Madiba”, have made and distributed over 120 000 blankets and many thousands of scarves. These hand-made items are donated to children and adults who are disabled, homeless, elderly and otherwise in need of real warmth during the winter months. 67 Blankets also has branches in other countries around the world.

In just nine years, 67 Blankets has smashed several Guinness World Records, most recently for the world’s longest scarf at over 29 kilometres in length. KnitWits laid thousands of lovingly made scarves end to end at the Nelson Mandela Capture Site outside Howick, then stitched them together to form the longest continuous scarf the world has ever seen.

After Guinness representatives

confirmed the length, the scarf was divided back into individual scarves that were donated to needy people around the country.

At Springside Cafe in February, KnitWits hosted a Valentine’s knitathon – where participants knitted and crocheted squares to be joined together to make blankets for this year’s #LocalBlanketsIsLekka winter campaign. As part of the festivities, over 80 blankets already made by Highway KnitWits were on display in all their multi-coloured glory.

KZN members of 67 Blankets meet regularly at various venues. Anyone who would like to learn to knit or crochet is welcome to attend, and 67 Blankets welcome donations of wool, squares and adult-sized blankets to keep needy people warm this winter.

FOR MORE INFO: 079 999 2443; susan.hubach@gmail.com

SEEING AUSCHWITZ EXHIBITION

The exhibition, created by the Spanish company Musealia with the AuschwitzBirkenau State Museum in Poland and in collaboration with the United Nations (UN) and UNESCO, invites you to reflect on the true dimension of the horrors committed by Nazi Germany. The contents

have been developed in a way that allows each visitor to get the most out of their visit and understand the facts presented in the exhibition regardless of their prior historical knowledge. Opens Monday April 24 at the Durban Holocaust & Genocide Centre (DHGC), 44 KE Masinga Rd, Durban. Entry is free.

FOR MORE INFO: dbnholocaust.co.za

fortheloveof COFFEE

KATRINE ANKER-NILSSEN MEETS

KLOOF MICRO COFFEE ROASTER

LAURA HAYES-FOLEY

Laura has always been around good freshly roasted coffee.

“When I was young there was only one roastery in Durban – Colombo Tea and Coffee in Gale Street. I remember going there with my mom and seeing and hearing the big coffee roaster – buying freshly roasted beans from Mrs MacFie.

“In my early twenties, I started buying a few kilos of green coffee and

experimenting with roasting coffee ... in a popcorn machine! Needless to say, I think I burnt out well over thirty popcorn machines. It was then that I progressed to a small Gene Cafe 250g coffee roaster.”

Laura used to take her coffee beans, grinder and a small espresso coffee machine everywhere – it stayed in her car boot. Eventually her friends and colleagues started asking if they could buy her roasted coffee, and this initiated her

little coffee business, Artisana.

During this time, The Sunday Tribune started an annual event –The Cafe Society Magazine. “I was a part of a panel of judges. We went around to all the coffee shops and judged cappuccinos, incognito,” says Laura. She also got involved in the KZN Barista Championship, and was trained in the judging of this event.

“My business grew, and I found that I was not coping with my little roaster,” says Laura. “My brother-in-law, who also is a roaster in the Eastern Cape – we both sell under the same brand Artisana – had already designed and built his five kilogram roaster. He offered to build me one, in conjunction with his brother – they’re both engineers.” And so Laura is the proud and delighted owner of her beloved “Red Devil”.

“My main job and a huge love of mine has always been teaching – I have taught at St Mary’s, Fulton School for the Deaf and Roseway Waldorf,” says Laura. But since being retrenched in 2021, Artisana has become her main source of income.

“My late husband loved a well made flat white, as does my daughter – who is a graphic designer and helps me with all my social media and design work,” says Laura. “My son is a trained barista and in his spare time, when he’s not coding, he helps me with deliveries. He also works with the coffee shops that use our coffee, helping their baristas to get their coffee right.”

What makes Artisana unique? The coffee is roasted in small batches weekly –ensuring it’s ultra fresh. And Laura allows her customers to mix and match the coffees, to get exactly what they

enjoy drinking. “A lot of my customers even have their own special blends, which I keep note of,” she says.

“I offer a variety of seasonal single origin coffees, and I grind my customers’ coffee to suit the needs for their specific coffee machines,” adds Laura – who does a lot of personal deliveries herself.

Laura has also started selling her coffee at the uMhlanga Farmers Market. “This led me to start selling other products which are close to my heart – such as real raw honey (from my hives or a beekeeper I know), kombucha, sugar free granola and homemade egg pasta (using

free range eggs from my own chickens),” she says. “I have also started selling at the new Kloof Farmers Market. The first one, a great success, was in February. We hope to grow this market and offer local people a great variety of artisanal products and fresh produce.”

Going forward Laura hopes to grow her business, but most of all to continue to offer high quality coffee – roasted with passion and care. “I just love roasting coffee and seeing it come out of the roaster at the perfect optimum colour and smell. It is incredibly satisfying, and it is truly my passion to give customers beautiful coffee.” *

FOR MORE INFO 082 926 8302; W Artisana Coffee; artisanacoffee

It is truly my passion to give customers beautiful coffee

whyare financialaudits IMPORTANT?

SUNÉ ALEXANDER TALKS ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF FINANCIAL AUDITS AND WHY YOU SHOULD CHOOSE MJ CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS AS YOUR AUDITOR

In simple terms, financial auditing is the process of examining a company’s financial records to determine if they are accurate and in accordance with the applicable accounting standards (IFRS or IFRS for SMEs) and ensuring that the company complies with applicable tax laws and regulations.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOUR COMPANY’S FINANCIALS MUST GET AUDITED?

The Companies Act requires public companies and state owned companies to have an audit. For other companies, depending on your Public Interest Score (PIS), your financials might have to be independently reviewed or audited. In addition to the PIS, whether or not your annual financial statements are prepared internally or independently will also have an impact on the type of assurance engagement required.

* For more info on this, please refer to the article “To audit or not?”, in the June-July 2022 issue of The Crest magazine on www.famouspublishing.co.za, or email sune@mjacc.co.za.

WHY ARE AUDITS IMPORTANT?

An audit will provide the highest level of assurance that your company’s financials are reliable and trustworthy.

In today’s fast paced environment, decision makers need timely, reliable information from a trusted advisor. You need to be aware of your business risks and know that they are managed effectively. You need to have faith in your systems, controls, financial records and that you are compliant with key legal requirements. You need to be able to instil that same confidence in your shareholders, investors and customers.

The world at large requires accountability. Directors must be held accountable for the way in which they run their businesses, the government must be held accountable for the way it spends taxpayers’ money, and companies whose activities affect the environment must be held accountable for the way in which they adhere to environmental regulation and legislation. This is where

auditors come in, to provide an independent service which assesses and evaluates whether the accountable parties are meeting their responsibilities.

WHY CHOOSE MJ CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS AS YOUR AUDITOR?

• We want your business to be the best it can be – our commitment is to provide you with significant levels of partner input while building lasting relationships with you and your company.

• Our services are efficient, cost-effective and comprehensive.

• We like to keep things

clear and concise and we like straightforward communication, to ensure stakeholders get results they can trust and understand.

• Our clients range from small owner-managed businesses, partnerships and charities to medium-sized businesses.

MJ Chartered Accountants are Registered Auditors and are able to assist with your audit, independent review and compilation engagements.

OUR OFFER TO YOU

A free calculation of your public interest score to determine the level of assurance you are legally required to obtain, which could save you money, time and effort.

RIGHT: Suné Alexander and Melissa Jacobs.

creativitythrough MOVEMENT

SUE COOK DANCE STUDIO IS A HAPPY PLACE WHICH HAS NURTURED AND INSPIRED YOUNG DANCERS FOR YEARS

sandy woods pictures

sarah orchard photography

Sue Cook is passionate about her dancers’ journey. “It’s a privilege to watch their artistry, technique, and personal growth develop as they gain confidence and strength beyond the scope of movement,” she says.

Teaching in association with the Royal Academy of Dance (RAD) and the Association of International Dance Teachers (AIDT), Sue trains aspirant dancers from the age of three.

“When building a technical dance grounding – through growing a child’s fine and gross motor skills, flexibility, co-ordination, focus, and musicality – a sound foundation is set for technique and strength,” explains Sue.

Sarah Shipley, Sue’s dance school partner, began her dance journey with the studio when she was in pre-school. After completing her teaching qualification, Sarah honed her passion and skill for choreography. Since 2013, the two internationally accredited teachers have inspired young ballerinas together. The duo’s priority is to offer a nurturing environment in which their students thrive.

“It’s beautiful work, as you get loved

and hugged by children every day. You can’t ever be down when you have happy children with you,” smiles Sarah.

The legacy of the studio lies in relationships, built over 30 years of teaching in the Highway area.

“Many of my dancers are secondgeneration, whose parents trained with me. Our studio provides a ‘home away from home’ where students share experiences and form lifelong friendships,” says Sue.

The dance studio’s impact on students’ lives is felt far beyond the physical benefits. “In a fast-paced world, dance affords children the opportunity to develop perseverance, self-discipline, and

determination to achieve a long-term goal. Today, this is an invaluable benefit,” says Sue.

Sarah believes the social aspects of a dancer’s education are critical. “Dance training is a wonderful way to make special friendships, as your group stays together all the way through. I met my dance friends when I was three, so we have 15 years of memories,” she says.

The studio is well known for its biannual stage performances held at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre, which aims to provide students with an opportunity to develop their technique and ease when performing in front of large audiences. The

2023 showcase, planned to run from September 30 to October 8, promises to deliver the usual high standard of choreography and costumes.

“Confident children become confident adults. When a child is taught with imagination, creativity, a sound technical foundation, and an emphasis on fun, a lifelong passion for dance begins,” smiles Sue. *

FOR MORE INFO

083 232 3110; suecookdancestudio

What does Sue Cook Dance Studio offer?

• A full schedule of ballet and modern exam classes.

• A wide variety of dance styles –including ballet, lyrical, contemporary, hip hop and jazz.

• Classes from Monday to Thursday.

• Late afternoon classes for working parents.

• Kloof and New Germany venues, plus extramural classes at Highway schools.

• A bi-annual show season, concluding with performances at the Elizabeth Sneddon Theatre.

RIGHT: Sue Cook and Sarah Shipley.

lifelong LEARNING

IF YOU’VE BEEN YEARNING TO TAKE UP A CRAFT, HARNESS A TALENT OR LEARN A NEW SKILL, THIS ONE’S FOR YOU. WE’VE ROUNDED UP ENJOYABLE AND ENGAGING ACTIVITIES FOR ADULTS IN THE UPPER HIGHWAY AREA – WITH EVERYTHING FROM WEEKDAY CLASSES TO EVENING COURSES AND WEEKEND WORKSHOPS

story and pictures jess

Discoveryourunique stylewithanartclass

Make space on your wall for a personal masterpiece! Artist and interior designer Sandra Badenhorst has started running weekly art classes from her Kloof studio, and her lessons are wonderfully inspiring.

Suitable for beginners and more advanced artists, Voila Studio’s students will learn about various painting styles and experiment with different mediums, such as acrylic, charcoal, pencil and oil paints.

There are weekday morning and evening classes, with a small class size (maximum of eight students per class) ensuring that students become a dab hand at drawing and mixing colours.

Voila Studio also offers weekly art classes for children, as well as being a superb party venue for young and old alike.

FOR MORE INFO

082 922 2692; voilastudio.co.za

Master the waltz with ballroom dance classes

If you don’t know your promenade from your shadow position, let Dance With Me Shirley show you the art of ballroom dancing.

For over 15 years, former championship ballroom dancers Peter Jordaan and Shirley Meintjes have been holding weekly social dance classes for all ages at Clifton Hills Lifestyle Estate.

The emphasis is on social dancing, which is a great way to meet new people and learn popular ballroom dance steps, all while getting in some exercise. However, they cater to advanced dancers as well, with choreography tailored accordingly.

The eight-week foundation course is the ideal introduction to ballroom dancing and will see you mastering the quickstep in no time. Private lessons are also available, perfect for first dances and weddings. Fancy a whirl?

FOR MORE INFO

082 495 6244; W dancewithme

Pursue the age-old craft of woodworking

Rediscover this time-honoured skill with teacher Max Kilroe-Smith at his Hillcrest workshop.

Woodpeckers Carpentry Workshop has its roots in teaching children how to make toys, but has grown to offer basic to advanced private carpentry lessons for adults.

Picture frames, planter boxes, headboards and wine racks are just a few of their most popular projects, with one student even making an Adirondack chair over the course of a few lessons!

Using recycled Baltic pine as the basis for your creation, you’ll get to grips with set squares, chisels, mallets, planes, clamps, power tools and more. Safety comes first and lessons are tailored to suit individual requirements and abilities, making it the ideal setting for aspiring carpenters. »

FOR MORE INFO

082 854 4754; W woodpeckerscarpentryschool

get creative*

Become a master chef with private lessons

Looking to elevate your home cooking?

Meryl’s School of Cooking is right on our doorstep in Kloof and has created many home chefs since its inception in 2001.

From bread and pasta making, to learning how to prepare the perfect steak, Meryl Erasmus’s hands-on private lessons in her kitchen studio are the perfect way to broaden your culinary repertoire. And the best part is that you get to take home your beautifully prepared meal at the end of the lesson!

Meryl’s reach extends beyond her kitchen studio, as she is frequently called upon to share her extensive catering knowledge, gained from working both within South Africa and abroad, with local businesses. Training staff in

food preparation and presentation techniques and teaching new skills and recipes are second nature to Meryl.

Meryl also offers cooking classes for domestic workers, with attendees receiving a certificate at the end of each course. The next Domestic Workers course is scheduled to start on April 26, 2023, with weekly Wednesday morning

sessions for four weeks and recipes including butter chicken, Moroccan beef, and vegetable moussaka. The cost is R1 800 a person (including recipes and ingredients) with a minimum of five students.

FOR MORE INFO

031 764 6577; merylschoolofcooking.co.za

Learn to throw on a potterÕs wheel

If you’ve been considering pottery classes, look no further. Ceramic designer Anne Schultz opened her first teaching studio in 1974 and her classes are as popular now as they’ve ever been.

During weekly lessons, students will be introduced to the basics of clay making, glazing, painting and firing in the white-hot kiln, with initial projects being either a coil or slab pot. Under Anne’s guidance, you’ll develop the skills and finesse required to shape your piece from start to finish, including learning the technique of throwing on the wheel.

There are morning, afternoon and evening classes available, with students progressing to more advanced projects, but you’ll need to be patient to get a spot as there is a waiting list.

Keep an eye out for Studio 3 Ceramics at the Shongweni Farmers Market. Anne’s beautiful hand thrown ceramics and functional terracotta, stoneware and porcelain clay creations make the perfect gift or addition to any home. *

FOR MORE INFO

031 764 4607; studiothree.co.za

in your destination. And if the battery gets too low, it limits the acceleration and power to conserve battery life.”

Vinesh has a “Charge Pocket” app on his phone, with credits. “I can ‘fill up’ at self-charging stations if required. The app lets you know in advance which stations are available for use.

THE BEAUTIFUL VOLVO XC40 P8

a luxury electric MASTERPIECE

After driving his son’s Volvo S90 and his daughter-in-law’s Volvo XC60, Vinesh Maharaj, from The Kitchen Studio, was hooked. “When I heard about the availability of the P8, I did not hesitate,” he says. “I have had the vehicle for almost a year now, and I have already done 32 000km.”

Vinesh says this is by far the best vehicle he has ever owned. “Because of the high mileage I do, I have gone

through various makes and models of vehicles in the past 43 years,” he says.

“Besides the savings on fuel costs and not contributing to harmful emissions, driving the vehicle itself is a dream.

It is quiet, comfortable, and has unbelievable road holding and instant torque to safely overtake stragglers.”

The spaciousness and the safety that the P8 delivers is also a bonus for Vinesh.

“And there is no wear and tear

on the motor like on an ICE vehicle, so there ought to be no difference in the performance when it gets older,” he adds.

The estimated range on the P8 is around 420km.

“The more economically I drive it, the greater the range achieved,” says Vinesh. “The car’s infotainment screen is user-friendly and tells you when recharging is required, as well as which charging stations are on route – once you have keyed

“I have other vehicles which I rarely use these days, the electric P8 has become my first choice,” says Vinesh. “My wife, who sometimes drives my car, has her eye on the new electric C40 – which I believe should be arriving in June this year.”

FOR MORE INFO

To book a test drive or for more info regarding the Volvo range of vehicles, contact Volvo Cars Hillcrest: 39 Old Main Road; 031 716 5000; www.volvocarshillcrest.co.za; info@fmgh.co.za

Most Improved Dealer of the Year Winner 2022: Volvo Cars Hillcrest

To laugh freely is one of the greatest joys. The laughter of children greets me as I enter The Browns School in Pinetown. I know I’m in for a special visit. This is not because the school caters for children with special needs, but more so, I feel the warmth and love echoing through their laughter.

Principal Brenda Hattingh beams with pride as we sit down for a chat after the morning assembly. “A group of our learners swam the Midmar Mile. I spoke about how people with disabilities do swim … Don’t judge people by what they look like, rather look at what they can do and the positives,” she says.

It’s a message for society too – to see each child positively. Brenda explains, “When your child is different from the next-door neighbour’s child, you have to first accept it, and then realise it’s not the end of the road. There are things your child is going to be able to do. And that whole process is something we help parents through.”

It began in the 1950s when a lady raised funds to start a holiday home for children with cerebral palsy. When questioned by the media, she chose to remain anonymous and said, “Just call me Mrs Brown.” Her legacy continues today, with the school providing holistic development to nearly 400 special needs children, from three to 18 years old. They hail from various areas, including Amanzimtoti, Chatsworth, the CBD, Durban North, Phoenix and Hillcrest. The children face different challenges – learning disabilities, being on the autistic spectrum, or living

seeingeachchild POSITIVELY

MAYA JAGJIVAN KALICHARAN PAYS A VISIT TO THE WONDERFUL BROWNS SCHOOL

with cerebral palsy.

Classes are small, between seven to 15 per class. The school follows the CAPS curriculum and once the remedial group of learners complete Grade 7, they enter mainstream schools. Brenda says they track the progress of learners, and several have completed matric. “Some have taken longer than the conventional five years, but they have an academic matric, which is awesome.”

Autistic learners are at school until the age of 18 and

RIGHT: Adults love the outdoors too! Principal Brenda Hattingh and fundraiser Lyn de Klerk take a break from their busy schedule to enjoy the fresh air.

ABOVE: Teacher Carol Levy takes learners through an interactive lesson.

LEFT: Making memories with their friends, these playful ones loved saying cheese.

they are equipped with life skills so they can become a meaningful part of society. “All our parents have that fear – they are not going to live forever, what’s going to happen to their disabled child? Every year, we try something

new. Cooking is one of them, and we are trying gardening. We’ve got beauty skills too,” she explains.

The Browns School has physiotherapists, occupational therapists, a speech therapist, a psychologist and nurses. This is in addition to the 41 teachers – many of whom have been at the school for over 20 years.

Fundraiser Lyn de Klerk says the school has weathered Covid-19, the riots and the

devastating floods. “The school is state funded, but this does not cover salaries for all teachers, and there are many activities for which we fundraise,” she explains. Only about 50 percent of parents can afford to pay school fees. Brenda emphasises, “We have never, and will never, turn a child away that cannot pay school fees.”

This year, the school needs at least R2-million rand in cash

to continue running the way it has.

A tour of the school allows me to see why. It’s wellmaintained and spacious, with specialised facilities and a multi-media library – the ideal environment for children to flourish.

I sit in on a lesson with Carol Levy, departmental head of the foundation phase. The learners’ eyes light up as they touch, feel and understand more about groceries. Carol, who has been at the school for 20 years, smiles as she explains, “It’s rewarding watching a child who couldn’t read or couldn’t write, who was battling with themselves, become the best they can be.” *

FOR MORE INFO

www.brownsschool.co.za

Sourdough became a buzzword during lockdown. Novice bakers across the world were tending starters and sharing photos of their crusty homemade bread. However, for Tim Keep, his sourdough journey would extend way beyond the lifting of restrictions with his serendipitous purchase of an artisanal bakery.

Now known as Manna Bakehouse, Tim and his team of bakers turn out 2 000 loaves a week from their stunning new premises in Hamilton Park, with Tim making daily deliveries from Pietermaritzburg to Ballito.

It’s a far cry from Super Sourdough’s roots in a Winston Park garage, where Greg and Janita Bold were making just a few loaves a

local LOAVES

DID YOU KNOW THAT EVERYONE’S FAVOURITE

SUPER SOURDOUGH IS BAKED FRESH DAILY FROM A NEIGHBOURHOOD BAKERY IN THE HEART OF GILLITTS?

day for their Kloof eatery La Verdure Real Food Café. When the couple decided to emigrate to the UK in 2020, a chance encounter led to Tim hearing about the business, and he was soon setting up Manna Bakehouse’s first premises in Gillitts Centre with just two ovens and a small cold room.

Tim didn’t know much about sourdough back then, but he did know a good opportunity when he saw one and, with the help of baker Trinity Windsay, he set about learning all there was to know about making this traditional bread.

So, what’s the secret recipe?

Super Sourdough is made from purified water, Eureka Mills stoneground flour (they go through a ton of it a week!)

of beneficial bacteria, it is a live dough which is mixed with the bread flour and replaces the need for a raising agent, such as baker’s yeast. Manna Bakehouse has five starters bubbling away at all times –four wheat and the other a rye. “Our original starter is called Eve as it is how our sourdough came to be in the first place,” says Tim.

and salt, without any additives or preservatives. “Only what Mother Earth has given us,” says Tim.

The pièce de résistance is the starter (or preferment). Full

Authentic sourdough is renowned for its distinctive taste and impressive gutfriendly health benefits, being rich in protein and fibre, as well as packed with vitamins,

The pièce de résistance is the starter

BELOW:

BOTTOM:

And it’s not just Super Sourdough on Manna Bakehouse’s menu. Speciality loaves are baked on certain days of the week and include roasted garlic and rosemary, activated charcoal and 100% plain rye sourdough.

minerals and nutrients that are easily absorbed by the body. It is also naturally vegan friendly.

Making the perfect loaf of sourdough is a lengthy process, with Manna’s bakers needing to carefully monitor ambient temperature and adjust proofing time in the cold room and across the five ovens accordingly. All ingredients are mixed by hand and eight loaves are baked at a time, with each loaf taking over 48 hours to make from start to delivery

Manna Bakehouse has also started serving takeaway coffees, with fresh soups and pastries in the pipeline, as well as plans to start stocking local staples. Tables and chairs have also been placed beneath the beautiful Fig entwined tree outside the bakery, offering the perfect spot for a neighbourly chat.

“What could be nicer than picking up a fresh loaf of bread and some homemade soup and staples for dinner?” asks Tim. We couldn’t agree more! * FOR

LEFT: The Manna Bakehouse Team (from left): Trinity Windsay, Nhlanhla Lembethe, Pearl Badze, Zinhle Khomo and Donna Meier.

Super Sourdough fresh out of the oven.

Trinity Windsay with a tray of proving baskets, an essential sourdough tool.

Hugh Mathie

WINSTON park

ROBIN LAMPLOUGH DELVES INTO THE HISTORY OF THIS SUBURB

The Upper Highway suburb of Winston Park has an interesting history. Bordering on Hillcrest’s Springside Nature Reserve, it is a smallish, L-shaped conurbation between Hillcrest and Gillitts, and at the last census, which was in 2011, it had a population of just under 3 000. Properties are relatively expensive and range in size from small condominiums to mansions, of which there are several, and even a retirement home.

Created after the end of the Second World War in 1945, the suburb was named in honour of the British wartime prime minister, Winston Churchill, and many streets in the suburb were named after other allied and South African wartime

leaders. Interestingly, the original spellings of some of those names in the suburb were incorrect: for example, Rooseveldt for Roosevelt and Hofmeyer for Hofmeyr.

The land on which the suburb was built had originally been part of William Gillitt’s farm, Emberton, on which what is now Hillcrest emerged in the late 1800s. But the part which became Winston Park lay to the southeast of Hillcrest, and many of Gillitt’s workers had their homesteads and gardens on this section.

The construction of the M13, however, cut off this section of Gillitt land from the main farm. Cliff, son of William Gillitt, had inherited the homestead and his wife, Jane, (nee Harborth) – the daughter of settlers from New Germany, who later farmed in Forest

Hills – had made its gardens a spectacular landmark on the route inland. So Cliff Gillitt was open to offers for the section of his property that he had lost through the building of the highway.

It must be remembered that for many years the R103, or Old Main Road, was the main route to the interior. Upcountry motorists from the Transvaal and the Free State, and as far away as the Rhodesias – as Zimbabwe and Zambia were once known – often stayed over at the Hillcrest Hotel –either for refreshments or to make an overnight stop before taking the last lap to the coast.

There is nothing on record to reveal who the investors who contributed to the development of Winston Park were, but one of the street signs may help give a 21st century investigator some

Jan Smuts Avenue leads to a grove of massive trees

direction. As you drive into Winston Park from Hillcrest, you see a sign reading Trevenyn Lane. Does this help at all? There is an old English rhyme that may give us a clue, too – it goes like this: By the names ‘Tre, Pol and Pen, you may know the Cornish men’. Does this perhaps give an indication that at least one of the investors involved in the development of Winston Park

had Cornish roots? And does that take us any further?

There was at the time on the Natal north coast a well-known and well-to-do family with the surname Polkinghorne. Was Trevenyn Polkinghorne either one of the investors in the development project, or perhaps a close relation of his – maybe a son? This is a puzzle to be tackled another time.

As one climbs up the hillside in Winston Park, Jan Smuts Avenue leads to a grove of massive trees. Local legend, impossible to check, says that these trees were planted by an early resident who had been born in a railway carriage while his mother was on the way to the nursing home. His father, in recognition of the circumstances, gave him three names, making his initials N.G.R. – the original acronym for the Natal Government Railway.

Today, Winston Park boasts a primary school of which staff, pupils, parents and grandparents are especially proud. It describes itself as “a small school with a big heart” and performs well in a variety of spheres, even when compared with larger establishments.

With a variety of trails in the surrounding hills, Winston Park is attractive to exercise enthusiasts. There are trails for running, hiking and walking, as well as trails designed for riders of mountain bikes, so all interests are catered for. The trails are well used, especially over weekends. *

At St Mary’s we instil curiosity and a love of learning in girls, focusing on their holistic development. Through educational games, use of our world-class Creativity Centre and free play, we inspire young minds to develop cognitive, social and creative thinking skills.

Research shows that a quality education in the early stages of life is critically important. “The quality of a child’s early experiences makes a critical difference as their brains develop, providing either strong or weak foundations for learning, health and behaviour throughout life”, according to UNICEF.

We focus on growing each girls’ unique strengths and encourage them to value and grow friendships. We know that children learn through play, and at St Mary’s our nurturing teachers and wonderful facilities provide an environment that stimulates creativity, which stimulates learning.

FOR MORE INFO

031 764 9800; www.stmarysdsg.co.za; marketing@stmarysdsg.co.za; @stmarysdsg; W @StMarysDsgKloof; @stmarysdsgkloof

a love of LEARNING

AN EARLY QUALITY EDUCATION IS CRITICAL FOR A STRONG FOUNDATION

awarm welcometo SUNNY

HIGHBURY’S NEW THERAPY DOG WILL BRING COMFORT AND DELIGHT TO

For 120 years Highbury has prided itself on knowing boys. We combine timeless wisdom with relevant knowledge to provide boys with a holistic educational experience that enables them to resiliently thrive in a modern and ever-changing world.

We aim to create a learning environment that encourages, inspires and supports boys to fully embrace their developmental journey, allowing them to grow into young men who are ready to reach their full potential in life.

This year, as an extension of our passion for education, we are introducing a therapy dog to the Highbury campus – and the boys can’t wait to meet her! Sunday, affectionately known as Sunny, is in the process of being trained to bring comfort

and delight to everyone who needs her care.

Sunny’s job will be to support boys both emotionally and academically, as therapy dogs are able to perform various tasks which add value to the people they are attending to.

Studies have shown that simply having a dog in the classroom promotes a positive atmosphere, which has significant stressreducing benefits. Interacting with a dog lowers a person’s blood pressure and heart rate, while at the same time decreases the stress hormone cortisol and increases oxytocin.

Therapy dogs provide emotional and sensory regulation for students who may feel anxious – as their unconditional, non-judgemental love boosts confidence,

enabling the boys to relax and focus on learning at school. Academically it has been noted that reading out loud to therapy dogs boosts reading scores and comprehension, because therapy dogs are really good listeners.

Boys are more likely to openly share their thoughts and feelings when speaking to another person side-by-side. By a teacher inviting a child to chat with them while brushing or throwing a ball for a therapy dog, new opportunities are created for connection and support.

Caring for an animal develops empathy and responsibility. Boys who do not have animals at home now have the opportunity to learn how to interact with a dog in a positive way at school – a life skill in itself.

It will take up to 18 months to fully train and integrate Sunny into the school environment. Students and staff are being educated on how to properly engage with a therapy dog, and she is slowly being introduced to the Highbury family in a compassionate and gentle way.

Therapy dog initiatives have been successfully implemented at schools internationally. As we embark on this exciting journey as a South African school, we can once again confirm that Highbury truly is “never behind”.

EVERYONE WHO NEEDS HER CARE

www.klarchitects.co.za

Kevin: 083 283 092

Peter: 076 449 4338

Our small projects are even more special

torchin HAND

SHIRLEY LE GUERN MEETS TALENTED GLASS ARTIST MANDI SAUNDERS

Glass artist Mandi Saunders calls the small corner in the Creative Crafters shop at Fig Tree Farm – where her glass studio Grace Glass is tucked away – her happy place. Torch in hand, she is usually there between 9am and 1.30pm – either creating beautiful beads or holding workshops.

“You have to have a very steady hand and lots of patience – and plenty of passion to keep at it until you get it right,” she smiles as she looks up from her workbench.

Mandi specialises in lampwork. Her fascination with this began after she was gifted with a beautiful salad server set with beaded handles more than seven years ago. Being a “crafty person”, she was soon on a mission to find out more and ended up doing a number of courses in the Midlands.

“Soon after starting, my husband bought me a torch because I had such a passion for lampwork,” she says.

Mandi uses glass imported from the island of Murano in Italy. The recipes –which include coloured glasses containing many different metals such as copper and gold – remain closely guarded family secrets.

Mandi explains that Italian glass making dates back to the Middle Ages. In 1291, Italian authorities relegated this thriving little industry to the island of Murano. Apparently, glass factories had a habit of catching fire and they wanted to minimise the risk to mainland cities.

The techniques Mandi uses date back just as far. She uses a torch, powered by

modern day LPG and oxygen, to heat glass that is wound around a central stainless steel rod known as a mandarel to around 800ºC.

Using both gravity and tools, Mandi heats, cuts and attaches different pieces of coloured glass which are pulled into thin glass tendrils known as stringers.

“To make an encased bead, I make a

anneal – a process that allows them to cool extremely slowly over a 12-hour period.

“I can only actually see the finished products the next morning when they are cool enough for me to touch,” she explains.

Mandi says it took at least two years for her to realise that she could make a business out of her hobby.

She started off doing cutlery and buys code 305 quality stainless steel implements that have 3.2mm handles on to which beads can be threaded, from India. A ball screws on to the end to finish them.

small footprint of a bead and paint the flower and leaves on to it with glass by hand – and then I start to add the clear glass. I add little bits while keeping it in the torch to continue melting it until it becomes more perfect,” she says.

Then the bead goes into her kiln, which is heated to 520ºC. This bakes the bead, joining the glass molecules to strengthen them.

When Mandi leaves for the day, she turns off her kiln, leaving the beads to

Many people asked her to make beads for jewellery, but she only started what she now describes as her second passion quite recently.

Mandi’s proteas are her signature line. After completing a course, she experimented until she had produced her own version – which is extremely popular. She also makes an African range of beads featuring a lion paw print and leopard, giraffe and zebra designs.

She says the protea was probably the first shaped bead that she made. Since

You have to have a very steady hand and lots of patience

then, she has come up with strawberries, snowmen, owls, minions and guinea fowl. She has created bee beads for honey spoons and mice for cheese slicers, as well as cupcake beads for cake forks.

She can turn out a perfectly round, simple bead in three to four minutes. However, beads with decorative elements can take up to an hour.

Mandi is inspired by her son Bryce, who not only designed her branding but constantly motivated her to take her art to a new level. Tragically, he was killed in a motor accident in March last year –but his picture remains above Mandi’s workbench as a constant reminder of what she can achieve. * FOR

a place to BELONG

CO-EDUCATIONAL THOMAS MORE COLLEGE OFFERS THE PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN ACADEMICS, SPORTS AND CULTURE

As one enters through the gates of our magnificent campus, the rich ethos of a 60-year-old, highly successful and progressive school greets visitors and family alike. The magnificent views over Durban reflect the vision of a safe, happy and family-orientated school with successful Alumni in all walks of life.

The facilities speak for themselves and affirm the manifold opportunities presented to students of Thomas More College.

Our Academic programme is incredibly innovative and we place very strongly in the IEB National Rankings celebrating a 100% pass and numerous distinctions on an annual basis.

Sport has been identified

as a priority area and the appointment of Mr Ross Veenstra as our Sports Director, who has a proven track record in terms of the future of sport in a number of co-educational schools, highlights our commitment to this ideal. We are aware that the sourcing and retention of high calibre coaches who must primarily establish and build a relationship of trust with the students, is an important component of success. We have mandatory sport and a physical literacy programme to increase the wellness and skills of our students.

Our three choirs, marimbas and orchestra celebrate the arts with our innovative drama department.

We celebrate our coeducation and its proven track record. It’s a co-educational world out there, and the value of these skills and interactions cannot be underestimated in the highly competitive workplace our young people will find themselves in. Through our unique consequence management programme our students take responsibility for their journey in partnership with parents and teachers.

The overriding value of Thomas More is love – there is a sense of that in terms of concern spent on students, how we celebrate the success of students and how we define that success. While over the years our school has achieved exceptional IEB results, our true success lies in the students who identify this as a place to belong and how we are able to unlock that potential. For us that’s the true definition of success - if a person can leave here with strong self-esteem, and high EQ in the way they can read and relate to people we have served them well.

Article written by High School Headmaster, Matthew Davies.

It’s rife globally, with new scams popping up regularly. In South Africa, the skills and creativity run high. For those who haven’t fallen prey, they’re often aghast at the ease with which others have done so … until it happens to them. Those who have been scammed, are usually ashamed to talk about it. Why? Because the human factor plays a role, and victims are aware they’ve played a part in their own demise – it’s simply embarrassing.

Good scammers are extremely skilled at what they do, and manipulating emotions is one of them. Most scams have tiny red flags through the process, but somehow, our eye on the goal, we quash that little feeling of unease. As they say, “Hindsight is always 20/20.”

The online culture has made it far easier for fraudsters. Many people are unskilled and anxious around technology, which makes them ripe for the picking – with the older generation being perfect prey. When it comes to buying (and selling) on platforms such as Marketplace, Bid or Buy, Gumtree or indeed, even professionallooking, but little-known sales sites, the motto around pricing is: If it seems too good to be true, it usually is. Days or weeks like Black Friday are every scammer’s dream, because as a shopper, your interaction is underpinned by the belief the price will be far cheaper than usual. Your guard is down, and hey, it’s Black Friday. An amazing price is suddenly believable.

I bought a camera on Black Friday. My dream camera, at half the retail price – red flag for sure, but I was too happy to be savvy. Woosh, R14 000 out my account, a tiny sense of unease when I pressed Go, followed soon by a broken heart and bruised ego – I was a statistic. Ironically, the company I dealt with … Digital Statistics. The price, the overly familiar WhatsApp messages, the “Sorry, the courier broke down”, stringing me along for five days … come on. There were even flags before I paid, but still, Black Friday, what a deal! My bank said the money had been removed from their bank account almost immediately I had paid – nothing they could do.

Kaamini Reddy laughed bitterly: “I was so naive,” she says. “We just don’t

haveyoubeen SCAMMED?

IF YOU HAVEN’T ACTUALLY BEEN A DIRECT VICTIM OF A SCAM, YOU’VE EITHER JUST ESCAPED OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO DIDN’T. I FALL INTO ALL THREE CATEGORIES, WRITES ANNE SCHAUFFER

think it’ll happen to us. I was downsizing, and put up a Nintendo Wii on Facebook Marketplace. One of many respondents

was so persistent – he worked in Pretoria, absolutely wanted it, but couldn’t get to me instantly so he’d make payment now,

send through proof of payment (which I received), and dispatch an Uber within an hour. The Uber was there before we’d finished cleaning the machine! Proof of payment (POP) was bogus, money never deposited.”

The bogus POP is a common scam, as North Coast resident Helen Smith discovered. She refused to be caught. She followed most of the guidelines suggested by sites like Gumtree:

• When you find an item you’d like to buy/sell, ask to meet in person to see the item and exchange money in a safe public place.

• Learn more about the seller that you’re transacting with – how long has the seller been active on the site?

• If a local transaction is not possible, never send your item before receiving the money and make sure it’s reflected in your bank account.

• Do not accept or pay using any form of anonymous payment services such as: Skrill, Bidpay, eWallet, Western Union, PayPal or Money Gram.

• Never provide your personal or banking information to others over the internet.

Armed with her camera lens, Helen met the gent at a busy, well-known shopping centre. She photographed him and his ID, he transferred the money to her on his phone while she stood there, and sent the POP instantly via SMS. Helen was happy. He walked away with the lens, and the POP was fraudulent.

WHAT IT MEANS

• Phishing – when fraudsters send emails that appear to be from reputable businesses, and often promise a reward (such as a Black Friday refund) to get your personal information.

• Smishing – when criminals try to get your information by making you click a link in an SMS to a fake webpage.

• Qishing – a type of phishing that uses QR codes to scam victims. If you click a QR code, always check the website URL you’re directed to.

• MFA fatigue – Multifactor authentication (MFA) fatigue is a method criminals use to flood your authentication app with push notifications in the hope you’ll accept their false authentication, allowing them access to an account or device. Always check that you are authenticating the right push notification.

Bank scams are tougher. The irony is that the scams are largely successful because of our fear about being scammed: the latest is the remote access scam, used to gain access to online banking accounts. Fraudsters under the guise of

your bank, call you and offer to help you block a fraudulent transaction – they ask you to download and install protective software on your PC. Once you’ve done that, they’ll ask you to enter your details and log into your banking profile. If you do it, your screen goes black, and you’ll start receiving OTPs to confirm transactions you didn’t do. The scammer then asks for the OTPs so they can block the transactions immediately. This is used to defraud you.

Marilyn Smith was caught similarly: “I’m not an idiot, but I feel like such a fool.” Her bank’s fraud division called to ask if she’d just made a R30 000 transaction. She was horrified: “No. The woman said we needed to hurry to stop this, and – yes, I responded to the OTP request – and she said consolingly, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve stopped the transaction’.” Marilyn can’t bear thinking about her own gushing gratitude to the scammer: “I couldn’t stop thanking her!”

Twenty minutes later, a second call came through from her bank asking if she’d just done internet banking for R30 000, R25 000 and R60 000? Marilyn said, “But I’ve just spoken to you.” So, this time it was her “real” bank – the previous caller wasn’t. The nightmare began. The scammer had withdrawn those three amounts. After four agonising months, Marilyn recouped the R60 000 paid into one bank, but not the other two paid into another – her bank gave her R4 500 “as a goodwill gesture”. The police to whom »

The Hibiscus Hospital Group not only provides a high standard of medical care, but continually strives to maintain a hygienic, patient focused and friendly hospital environment for the whole family.

she had reported it, although kind and efficient, said, “We’ll never catch them. Never do. They open an account and close it immediately.”

Bottom line: Steer clear of interacting with unknown links and downloading unknown software, say the banks. If you’re contacted by so-called bank representatives asking you to download or follow links, end the call and contact customer services. Banks will never ask you to forward OTPs, or to download software and enter banking details. Never disclose to anyone (including bank officials) sensitive information, such as your username, password, card and PIN details.

Never think it’s not possible. You may have an IQ that’s the envy of MENSA members, but scammers are very clever in areas you aren’t: “We narrowly escaped being caught for more than R20 000 when someone hacked into our Mweb email account and falsified the banking details on a legitimate handwritten invoice,” says Christi Naude.

“I’ve just been caught for R10 000,” says Jaco Wolmarans. “I bought a lens from a photographer who is, or was, a member of a Facebook closed group for Nikon photographers.” On the face of it, reputable, but still, Jaco checked him out. He had a profile on Instagram, Twitter, and his Facebook account went back several years: “I asked him a technical question about the lens – it checked out, so I paid the money, and he went off to Postnet to send it.

I checked in with him several hours later, asking for the tracking number – no response. Phoned him, but he didn’t pick up. Next morning, I received a message from him saying he had been T-boned by a taxi on the way to Postnet and was off to the doctor to have himself checked out. Later that afternoon, he messaged me that he thought the lens had been damaged in the crash, and he was not happy sending it. He would rather return my money.

“A week later, nothing. He stopped accessing his Facebook Messenger account, WhatsApp messages went undelivered – the whole ‘ghosting’ thing.

“A forensic investigator friend secured

some extra telephone numbers and a home address from the seller’s multiple applications for credit. He was in deep financial trouble, had been for a while. I discovered later, it seems he was also mentioned in dubious tones on a Canon buy/sell group.

“I warned the seller I would press

charges, and I did – charge of theft under false pretences and fraud laid.” Watch this space.

Dear Customer, Your package is waiting for delivery. In order to complete the delivery, of your package, please confirm the payment. Online confirmation must be made within the next two business days, to avoid the return of your package. Follow etmy tpackage

I receive one of these a day, either via email, or an SMS. I delete them instantly. The red flags are poor grammar,

punctuation, spelling, strange email addresses, and amateur layout. Scammers cut and paste legitimate logos on to a document, or produce one so similar, you won’t notice the difference.

When you are scammed, depending on the circumstances, you may not recoup your loss, but do try to ensure it doesn’t happen to others. Report it to the bank’s fraud division as soon as you can, and/ or to the platform on which you bought or sold – they’re constantly trying to improve their security. The scammer is very likely to have deleted his profile, but will possibly pop up elsewhere under a different name.

From job interviews which require a payment first … to online dating where, once you’re enamoured, he’s going to need a loan to visit you … to the 50 percent deposit you pay the vanishing fencing man, the scamming list is deep and long. Be very alert. Make your passwords complex, and reset them regularly – the pain of remembering new ones isn’t close to the agony you feel when scammed.

Of course, today, like Marilyn’s experience, she wasn’t even asked for any personal details – just the OTP – so the level of sophistication is ramping up significantly. Be on your guard – if you feel uneasy, walk away, put down the phone, don’t press that button. *

Marilyn can’t bear thinking about her own gushing gratitude to the scammer: “I couldn’t stop thanking her!”

It’s distressing when you can’t do what you love, and frustrating when injuries prevent you from preparing for an important event. However, injuries are such a common part of any sport, so don’t panic: keep calm and let the physio handle it. “What we want to do is limit the extent of the injury and reduce or reverse the damage,” explains Juli-Ann Riley of Riley Physiotherapists.

“I’m sure you have all heard of PRICE (Protection, Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation). Although there is some controversy about this, the injured area does initially need to be rested and protected to prevent further damage, in addition to controlling pain and swelling,” says Juli-Ann. “Protection may include strapping, bracing or even using crutches. Ice may be useful to ease pain and excessive swelling,” she continues –adding that elevation, ideally 45 degrees above the heart, is also useful for swelling. “Compression may be useful if there is excessive swelling, but can have its own pitfalls. So it’s best to get advice here.”

Previously, it was common practice to use anti-inflammatory drugs after an injury, but there has been a move away from this as they can decrease the quality of healing.

tackling sports INJURIES

JULI-ANN RILEY EXPLAINS HOW PHYSIOTHERAPISTS CAN HELP YOU GET BACK ON TRACK AND ASSIST WITH ENHANCING PERFORMANCE

After a few days, the body starts to repair the damage, but this new tissue is initially very weak. “If you do too much during this time, as is often tempting, it will be damaged,” says Juli-Ann. “But, very importantly, if not enough is done, the tissue does not build up enough strength. Getting the correct balance that puts the right amount of stress on the area at the right time is vital.”

Maintaining strength and flexibility of the rest of the body, in addition to cardiovascular fitness, is also important. “One also needs to slowly improve balance, co-ordination, flexibility, strength and stability around the injured area,” says Juli-Ann.

After a couple of weeks, you can gradually start putting more demands on the tissue, and more advanced and sport-specific rehabilitation could be commenced. “Signs of recurring pain or other problems usually mean that you should slow down or backtrack a bit,”

Disclaimer: This is for information purposes and does not constitute medical advice; please contact your healthcare professional.

explains Juli-Ann. “Everyone is different, so an individualised treatment programme is best.”

Physiotherapists can assist you from day one throughout the stages of your recovery and rehabilitation. They can also address underlying risk factors for further injury, and assist with enhancing performance. “The goal is to get you even better than you were before,” says Juli-Ann.

Juli-Ann Riley is a local physiotherapist with a special interest in the treatment of sports injuries. She enjoys being active through swimming, hiking, trail running, bodyboarding, scuba diving, snorkelling and paddling. Juli-Ann has completed two single Dusis and loves exercise that is fun and takes her out into nature.

safest SAFE

Vaults was born.

But where do you locate a business like this?

Consider a place situated on a standalone site, with only one way in and one way out. It is a place with exceptionally strong and state-of-the-art security 24/7. The answer? A casino.

The company signed a 20-year lease to house Capital Vaults in the Sibaya casino complex. The company won’t divulge where in the complex they are housed, but create a mental picture of a vault with impenetrable thick steel walls somewhere in the concrete reinforced basement. It has a three-phase physical entrance and an ingeniously engineered access system.

In South Africa, and KwaZulu-Natal especially, everyone knows someone who has been a victim of crime. People know they have to keep irreplaceable family heirlooms, jewels, cash, Krugerrands and important documentation away from home or business premises because this creates a target for smart and violent criminals.

No one wants to put their family or their colleagues at risk, but we worry about safeguarding vital valuables. The question is where to keep these safe?

Durban entrepreneur, Theo Moodley, created Capital Vaults to respond to this challenge in a world beset by insecurity. He and angel investors have spent a small fortune creating the “safer safety deposit box”.

Theo is a chartered accountant with investments in a host of businesses. Three years ago he set about de-risking his house and realised how perilously vulnerable our homes can be and why it made supreme sense to get the valuables away from us.

VAULT

Theo looked around for somewhere to store his valuables, but nothing measured up to his standards. The banks don’t offer safety deposit boxes because of the risks associated with them. And so Capital

INGENUITY

In collaboration with Gunnebo, a global security leader headquartered in Gothenburg, Sweden, and founded in 1764, Capital Vaults has created a world-class robotic system that

HOW IT WORKS

The system combines technology, anonymity, and advanced user identification with multiple layers of authentication.

almost eradicates human interface and is completely keyless. The company spent years working with IT engineers developing access to the safe, Gunnebo’s South Africa Sales Director, Gail Carew said.

The system eliminates risks associated with human intervention. To sign up you call a customer service centre. A name, a bank card and a fingerprint is required. Capital Vaults doesn’t know what is in your safety deposit box.

To access your deposit box you go into one of two secure privacy suites available – a private lounge in the casino. Entry is via card (any bank card works), biometric fingerprint and numeric password. Once alone inside the suite, you approach a console where you input the same data again.

Capital Vaults customers carry no cards or branded insignia, reducing the risk of being targeted.

Once a card, pin and fingerprint have been entered it initiates a robotic sequence that extracts your secure automated box from the vault within a minute, using a unique user ID. Once you have engaged with the contents of your box, it is locked and transported back into

WE ALL HAVE BELONGINGS THAT ARE PRECIOUS TO US, WHICH IS WHY A DURBAN ENTREPRENEUR, THEO MOODLEY, HAS CREATED CAPITAL VAULTS

Capital Vaults customers carry no cards or branded insignia identifying the company, which dramatically reduces the risk of them being targeted

the vault.

Customers have access to four different boxes, which are dubbed silver, gold, platinum and diamond and vary in size: capable of holding 10kg, 15kg, 20kg and 25kg. An example of how big the silver box is – it holds 294 Kruger Coins, or is adequately sized to store a will, birth certificates, ID documents and other essentials.

No documentation is required to open a safety deposit box, and customers remain completely anonymous and never have to identify themselves to anyone. There is no record of customer transactions. Capital Vault’s promise is that computerised robotics will never steal from you.

Monthly rental ranges between R379 and R1 039, and there are no contracts and no joining fees. Given the location of Capital Vaults, access is available 24/7/365.

ADDITIONAL PROTECTION

The key differentiator of Capital Vaults is that when humans have to get involved, the system requires a unique six-eye security protocol. Humans only enter the vault under exceptional circumstances and when they do, three people or six eyes have to be present including a Capital Vaults employee, a Gunnebo staffer and a Capital Vaults head of security. Everything they do in the vault is recorded and transmitted live to Gunnebo’s office. An example of when humans have to enter the vault might be in the case of an emergency, death or disability. If a customer is involved in a fatal car crash, they will have left instructions for who can access the vault along with an inventory of what is in their box. If that inventory is disputed, the six-eye protocol is engaged and the box is inspected by three unconnected and independent people and

recorded. The system has been stress tested globally and no one can gain access to the vaults – not even Theo Moodley himself if he were put under duress to do so.

Scan the QR code to learn more about how to de-risk your home

Everyone is talking about it, and yet very few of us know the true depth of this new artificial intelligence that has even made the founders of Google very nervous. So, in the true essence of what ChatGPT is supposed to provide, we asked the ChatBot to write a short article on ChatGPT, and this is what it responded with:

ChatGPT is a new artificial intelligence-based chatbot created by OpenAI. It is a conversational AI platform that enables users to communicate with computers in natural language. ChatGPT is based on a deep learning algorithm called GPT-3, which has been developed to enable computers to

ChatGPT... whatisit?

CRAIG BRIGG TAKES A CLOSER LOOK AT A NEW TECHNOLOGY LIKELY TO CHANGE THE WORLD

understand and respond to questions and commands in a human-like manner. The chatbot was designed to be a platform for businesses to use to automate customer service, providing instant responses to user queries. It can be used to answer common questions, respond to customer complaints, and even provide personalised recommendations to customers. ChatGPT is powered by OpenAI’s GPT-3 language model, which has been trained on over 45TB of data from websites, books, and other sources. This data has been used to create a deep learning neural network that can understand and respond to natural language

queries. In addition to its conversational capabilities, ChatGPT also offers a number of tools to help businesses automate customer service. It can be used to create FAQs, provide personalised recommendations, and even respond to customer complaints. Overall, ChatGPT is an exciting new AI-based chatbot that can help businesses automate customer service and provide better customer experiences. So in short, you can provide the chatbot with a question or request, which will prompt it to generate a reply or response for you.

Although this was a rather technical and detailed response from ChatGPT, the beauty of the chatbot is that one can request the simplification of the output to provide an article for easier, simplified reading merely by asking for it. Does

this ultimately mean that our children will have the opportunity to have projects and articles researched and written for them? Will it lead to a dumbing down of the human race and lazy children?

The mind boggles at the impact of such AI on the future of our universe. Kevin Roose of The New York Times labelled it “the best artificial intelligence chatbot ever released to the general public”, and yet it may change our mind about how we work, how we think, and what human creativity really is. That’s a frightening concept, and there is considerable negativity around ChatGPT. Some suggest it can “hallucinate” and provide incorrect information for many of its answers. When it has been tested it often produced factually ambiguous responses. It’s not perfect, but it’s still early in its development and already amassed over

100-million users in January 2023 alone.

There are some exciting benefits to this new age technology, and one in particular that applies to education is that it allows students and journalists to quickly research articles, projects or reports as baseline information – although we still require critical and higher order thinking to finalise those articles, projects or research papers as intellectual humans. It’s also a wonderful tool for planning, because it allows a quick and easy way to explore your subject material.

Currently ChatGPT is a free service in South Africa, but paying options will exist in the near future for more advanced features. This technology is likely to change the world in which we live. *

Will it lead to a dumbing down of the human race?

Ionce heard psychologist Lisa Damour describe the role of a parent of tweens as “a swimming pool wall”. The function of a swimming pool wall is to put boundaries around the water, and provide a place for swimmers to hold on when they are tired or afraid and need a safe place to catch their breath.

Picture your tween in a pool; the middle of the pool is her life independent of you, and you are the swimming pool walls. When she was little, she hung on to you because she didn’t know how to swim, and you were her constant safe place. But as she has matured, she has grown in confidence and competence, needing more space and freedom to live independent of you. But during this very complex time of rapid physical, social, emotional, and cognitive changes, tweens need our presence more than ever.

How can we provide the safe place for them to come back to while at the same time letting go just enough for them to grow strong, able and confident in the waters of life?

Here are a few things that your tween really needs to know:

• You like them (not just love them). Their minds are full of self-doubt, questions, and insecurities. Knowing you think they are competent, cool, and fun will give them confidence to venture into the water.

• There is nothing you won’t talk about, no question you won’t answer. They are

parentingtricky TWEENS

WE ARE THEIR SWIMMING POOL WALLS, WRITES CHRISTY HERSELMAN

much more likely to come and talk to you in times of worry and confusion if they know you are not only an accurate source of information, but a shame-free zone.

• Home is where they belong. Tweens who feel unconditionally loved, supported, and deeply connected to their parents and siblings are much less likely to flounder in the turbulent waters of identity confusion which come with this stage of life.

• Where the boundaries are. A friend once told me, “I give my kids lots of freedom, but at the edge of that freedom is an electric fence.” Tweens without boundaries can become egotistical and narcissistic. Those with healthy boundaries are usually much more secure and have a healthy sense of their place in the world.

• You are close by. With tweens increasingly living so much of their lives online, they need to know you are aware and paying attention to what is happening, both online and off. Our kids don’t always need us to advise them, fix things or offer

solutions. Sometimes they just need a little empathy, a sounding board or someone to talk things through with.

• You will never let them drown. Our tweens are going to mess up and do dumb stuff. They are going to make big mistakes; it is part of their journey into adulthood. But most of all our tweens need to know that we are with them no matter what. Sure, they will need to walk through some consequences and clean up their mess, but you will be with them all the way.

So as our tweens navigate this strange in-between phase of life, let’s be their swimming pool walls: there for them to cling to when they’re feeling weak and vulnerable, boundaries for them to pump against when they push too far, and springboards for them to dive off into the wild adventure that is life. *

Dr Mike Westbrook started as a general practitioner in 1978, when he joined Dr Tickey Hallot and Dr Don Raw at their surgery on 8 Meller Road in Pinetown. “I had a happy 17 years with two wonderful GPs and friends in a very busy practice,” he says. “We did a variety of surgical and gynaecological procedures, as well as anaesthetics at the Pinetown Surgical Clinic –above Ben Joubert’s Pharmacy in Hill Street.”

Dr Westbrook adds that they also worked a lot at St Mary’s Mission Hospital – a trappist monastery in Mariannhill –delivering babies, doing bigger procedures in the theatres, and assisting surgeons, gynaecologists, etc. “All of this has sadly disappeared, as GPs are no longer invited to assist at any surgery,” he explains.

“I relocated to Loudon Park, 8 St Mary’s Road, Kloof – a beautiful office block in parklike surroundings, with security and designated parking – in 1996,” says Dr Westbrook, who embraced the change after 17 wonderful years in Pinetown.

A few years later, in 2000, Village Healthcare was formed – comprising GP Dr Mike Westbrook, chiropractor Dr Jacqui Paton, and physiotherapist Caron Mackenzie. “Subsequently Eileen Murray joined Caron. Later Dr Jackie Paton emigrated to the UK, and Dr Shoshanna Dunn has taken over the chiropractic practice,” adds Dr Westbrook.

“I will be retiring at the end of March, and Dr Konrad Dorfling will be taking over,” he says.

in good HANDS

“Nothing else will change; the files all remain, as will the staff. I am privileged to have had a wonderful relationship with thousands of my patients, and will be sad to leave.”

Dr Dorfling wishes Dr Westbrook all the best and is looking forward to serving the community. “Mike has practiced at his current location for 26 years and will be missed by his patients,” he says – adding that he knows that Mike is an avid golfer, and hopes he will enjoy many a game now that he will have more time on his hands.

Dr Dorfling moved from Everton to Ladysmith in 1971 and completed school there. He obtained his medical degree at the University of Free State in 1989, before doing his housemanship in Giyani, Gazankulu. After two years of military service at 5 SAI Battalion in Ladysmith, he did a stint at KwaMagwaza Hospital in Melmoth. He then did three years at Lesley Williams Memorial Mining Hospital in Carletonville, before 26 years at Entabeni Hospital’s trauma unit.

On April 1 he starts at Village Healthcare in Kloof. “I plan to be available for extended consulting hours, as well as after hours. I would like to put my emergency medicine experience to use by attending to IOD patients, and to assist schools in the vicinity with sports events – such as the Long Walk at Thomas More College,” says Dr Dorfling. “I hope to remain for a very long time, possibly until the patients will have to start taking care of me,” he laughs.

DR. KONRAD DORFLING

MB ChB (UoFS) Dip. PEC

THE FAMILY PRACTICE

• Commencing practice on April 1, 2023

• Contracted to all medical aid schemes

• IOD patients are welcome

Office Hours:

Monday to Friday 07h30 - 17h30

Saturdays 08h30 - 12h00

Available after hours and public holidays. Call the practice number 031 764 6688 after hours for details.

3 Louden Park, 8 St Mary’s Rd, Kloof

SPECIAL INTEREST IN:

• Spinal conditions (arthritis, headaches, sport, trauma, surgical)

• Sports injuries & rehabilitation

• Orthopedic conditions (preventative, traumatic, pre & post operative)

• Chest treatments

Tel: 031 764 3434

Email: caron.mackenzie@telkomsa.net

REGISTERED PHYSIOTHERAPIST | PR. 721795

3 Louden Park, 8 St Mary’s Rd, Kloof

Chiropractor

Village Healthcare welcomes Dr Shoshanna Dunn to the team. Joining last year, she has taken over the practice of Dr Jacqui Paton - who has emigrated.

For any bookings or queries, please call 031 764 6688.

DR

M.Tech.Chiro (SA) Pr.No: 0201650

3 Loudon Park, 8 St Mary’s Road, Kloof. Member of the Chiropractic Association of South Africa.

playing with FIRE

SOME LIKE IT HOT … AND SOME LIKE IT EVEN HOTTER – BUT IT’S ALL ABOUT THE TASTE, WRITES ANT ELLIS

e can thank a certain Mr Scoville, whose heat scale has given us all an instant frame of reference for our heat tolerance levels. In case you don’t know, the Scoville scale is the universal measure of the concentration of capsaicinoids in peppers and chillies, ranging from the everyday (red bell peppers) to the ones that will ruin your life (the ghost pepper and higher) and all known varieties in between.

Those of us who like a clip of heat in our food can probably handle between 50 000 and 100 000 Scoville Heat Units (SHU), around where our everyday bird’s eye chillies sit. These are way higher than jalapeños, which sit at around 2 500 SHU, but nowhere close (and so you know exactly how stupid this gets) to the hottest chilli in all creation, the Carolina Reaper – an American hybrid breed that delivers around 1,6-million SHU. Do not ever try this unless you enjoy instant regret, and bleeding from your eyes.

WSo why are we fascinated with the irresistible kick found in curries and peri-peri chicken? Why do we drown our eggs in Tabasco sauce and add chilli to everything at our local Italian joint? Science seems to suggest this interesting idea: The body can apparently not tell the difference between spiciness and pain, and pain is a thrill. When we eat spicy food, our brain releases endorphins – our natural feel-good chemicals – and great news, these are the very same endorphins that are released when we exercise. So first things first, cancel your gym contract and tuck in.

If any of y’all out there are like me and need a bottle of hot sauce on standby 24/7, the best and most costeffective way to be prepared is to make your own. This is easier than you think, properly delicious and easily rivals what you’ll get from all those Chicken O’s out there. Once you’ve made it for the first time, experiment at will.

AntoÕs Peri-peri Sauce

You’ll need a blender for this recipe, but a stick or immersion blender will work – just take the time to blend as smooth as possible. Makes about 850ml.

• 2 large red bell peppers, chargrilled

• 1 large onion, peeled and chargrilled

• 4 cloves garlic, minced

• ½ cup lemon juice

• zest of a lemon, finely grated

• ¼ cup red or white wine vinegar

• 10 red bird’s eye chillies, roughly chopped (this is to taste, go

lighter or heavier to suit)

• 1½ tsp paprika, sweet or smoked

• 1½ tsp dried oregano

• 1½ tsp salt

• 1 tsp black pepper

• 2 bay leaves

To finish:

• ¼ cup fresh lemon juice

zest of one lemon, finely grated

• ¼ cup red or white wine vinegar

• ½ cup olive oil

• 100ml fresh cream (optional)

Roast red peppers and quartered onions directly over your gas burner, on the braai, under the grill on full whack, or in a cast iron skillet. You’re

looking for prominent char marks on the outside, not to cook them.

Roughly chop and add to a food processor or blender. Add garlic, lemon juice and zest, vinegar, chillies, paprika, oregano, salt and pepper, then purée until smooth.

Transfer to a medium saucepan, add bay leaves and simmer slowly for 20-30 minutes, then allow to cool until lukewarm. Remove bay leaves then return sauce to the food processor.

Add additional lemon juice, vinegar and lemon zest. Purée again, until super smooth. Slowly add in olive oil in a thin stream until you’re happy with the consistency (I like it a bit thicker), and finish with cream.

What would a delicious peri-peri sauce be without a chicken? Here’s how to quickly make your own flattie: Set the chicken breast-side down on a board, with the neck facing you. Using kitchen scissors or a sharp knife, cut alongside the length of each side of the backbone and remove. Turn it over, breast-side up and flatten

with your hands.

Marinade in the sauce for at least 3 hours or overnight, and remember my golden rule: Never put a raw chicken straight on to the braai! Cook in a 170ºC oven for about an hour and finish over hot coals, basting constantly in both sessions. Serve with charred hand-cut fries, sweetcorn, spicy rice and/or a green salad – and don‘t forget the ice-cold beers.

Until next time: There’s much more to spicy food across the world than sweating and sniffing, so there’ll be a part two of this conversation in the future. Hot, medium or mild, add some spice to your table. Drop me a line with your ideas: ant@rockthekitchen.co.za *

ABOVE: Durban lover of good food, wine and company, Ant Ellis.

pictures dawn rouse

The roots of our talents and innate abilities can be traced back to our youngest years. Whether it’s a mathematician’s fascination with numbers as a toddler, a world-renowned singer’s early dabble with childhood sing-a-longs or a gymnast’s love for splits and summersaults as a child. After all, we become who we are meant to be.

For Durban fashion designer, artist and creative extraordinaire Mpilonhle Gumede, the same is true. “My earliest fashion memory is around the age of six or seven. I remember being very picky with what I wore and liking bright colours, following trends and having an opinion on every outfit I saw around me!”

Years later, the same sharp eye for trends and fashion would lead to the establishment of a fashion label and accolades like his recent selection for the Durban Fashion Fair Class of 2022, showcasing his designs at 2019’s South Coast Bike Festival, and the South Coast Fashion Parade in 2018.

He’s the principal designer of Gog Geni Fashion House, which is available at retailers such as Victoria & Co at the new Oceans Mall in uMhlanga, The Pavilion Social Gallery, Decor Art Interiors, and at the KwaZulu-Natal Society of the Arts Gallery, among other locations. He is also an artist and curator at the Create Art Gallery inside the Mazisi Kunene Museum.

Born in Eshowe in a small village called Mtunzini, Mpilonhle grew up under the

whenartandfashion COLLIDE

FASHION DESIGNER AND CREATIVE ARTIST MPILONHLE GUMEDE MOVES EFFORTLESSLY BETWEEN THE WORLDS OF ART AND FASHION, WRITES LINDA MZAMANE

staunchly Christian values of his grandfather, a pastor. They lived a modest life, which was filled with love and care from neighbours in a community that genuinely lived the values of collectively raising a child. His design trademark is mixing prints from different parts of Africa to create a garment that’s altogether unique and immediately

stands out. “I am proudly African and appreciate African culture and heritage. We have so many similarities on the continent so I’m easily inspired by everything around me,” says Mpilonhle.

WHAT’S IN, WHAT’S OUT?

Trend forecasting is a big component to staying ahead of the game, and Mpilonhle

keeps his finger on the pulse: “A lot of designers are currently focused on establishing new fabric choices. I believe that is the direction to take in fashion if you want to distinguish your brand. Architecturally inspired patterns are also coming through more frequently in designs,” he muses.

And what about the fashion choices we need to leave »

ABOVE: Mpilonhle Gumede.

behind this year? “Definitely leave dark colours,” he vehemently says. “I believe they bring bad luck and are a fashion cop-out. If you want to clear your paths and stand out, add some colour to your fashion choices.”

SA’S FASHION FUTURE

Feeling optimistic about the future of fashion in the country, Mpilonhle believes there is still much to achieve. “We’ve done very well so far. A few local designers have put us on the map internationally. Our fashion speaks life, has rich historical roots and stands out from the rest.”

In Mpilonhle’s world, art and fashion are inextricably linked and he’s got plans for both disciplines in his future. “I want to open a fashion and arts gallery that will be recognised internationally. I see more retail stores selling our clothes around the world. In five years I’m aiming to showcase on platforms such as the Paris Fashion Week.”

ART IN MOTION

Mpilonhle’s next fashion showcase will be at an exhibition Umcebo Namagugu (Our Treasures and Values) running from April 1 until May 26, 2023, and will feature more than 30 local artists showcasing their arts, crafts and designs. *

FOR MORE INFO

Visit www.mazisikunenecreative innovationcentre.com; @goggenifashionhouse95

If you want to clear your paths and stand out, add some colour to your fashion choices

social scene*

Get in touch with Kim on kim@kimgriffithjones.com if you want more info on events and happenings in our community, or have photos of a recent event you’d like to submit for consideration

 UNSELFISHLY ME AT WILLOW WAY MANOR

Ladies were encouraged to ignite their self love and wellness development journey through a dance lesson and a beginner yoga class with Unselfishly Me creator Jane Kilian.

 WINE TASTING AT OXFORD

Oxford Wine Club, Vinatix, sees over 80 members and wine enthusiasts get together monthly for a social couple of hours to sample selected wines from various South African estates.

 FABULOUS NETWORKING BREAKFAST AT TALLOULA

This wonderful Great Women in Business event saw over 40 ladies networking and connecting. Guest speaker Susan Mercer led a very topical money conversation.

 HILLCREST INVESTOR SHOWCASE EXPERIENCE

Just Property Upper Highway hosted this exclusive event to showcase the beautiful Morningside Apartments – with live music, local community artists display, prosecco and wine tasting, and delicious snacks.

1: Lee Michael-Besnard, Jane Kilian and Rosalee Michael. Picture: Centaine Schafer

4: Janet Oberholzer, Tracy Lewin and Elly Watson. 5: Robyn Geisler, Tony Pooke, Gayle Acutt and John Acutt.

2: Cheryl Mackinnon, Berenice Kruger-Trave, Nerisha Pillay, Daniyel Berry, Cathy Stephen, Trish Adams, Kate Snell and Lara Steyn.

3: Susan Mercer and Lee Anderson-Brooks.

6: Mesuli Njomane, Sisipo Ndzamela and Kwazi Dlamini. Picture: Austin Maree Photography

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HAPPILY everafter

bought in duty-free to get rid of the last of your lira, and you may expect frosty social interaction for the next 40 years.

just give a normal gift.”

“Oh, hooray.”

“We need a coffee maker.”

“Why?”

“Because ours broke.”

“No, I mean why should I be giving a gift at all? What service am I rewarding? What grievous loss am I compensating? What am I buying a ticket for, other than a so-so dinner, some secondrate speeches, watching you two dance – which, frankly, I’ve seen before and it’s not such a spectacle – and then afterwards seeing considerably less of my buddy? If you ask me, you should be paying me.”

Silence followed.

DARREL

BRISTOW-BOVEY – AKA EBENEZER SCROOGE – HAS A RANT ABOUT THE COST AND EXPECTATIONS OF WEDDING PRESENTS

Iam so glad the wedding season is coming to an end. I am the Ebenezer Scrooge of weddings. It’s not that I especially disapprove of them – except in the very general sense that they are unnatural pagan rituals marking the end of youthful joy and leading sexlessly unto the grave – no, I just don’t like what they cost.

It’s not the cost of the band or the floral arrangements I mind – that’s someone else’s problem. What I object to is how much it costs to be a guest.

I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m something of a miser. I part with spare cash with all the enthusiasm of a stone being cold-called by the blood donation services.

Unnecessary expenditure hurts me like a piano falling on my head – that someone will expect me to pay for.

I don’t like giving birthday gifts either, but you can usually finesse that. You can pretend you left it in the car and will fetch it later, or maybe you can get away with an inexpensive in-joke item. But, weddings are different.

The sustaining fiction propping up most weddings –like the boning in a white bridal bustier – is that this is the final one these villains are going to inflict on us, and therefore our gift should sum up our best and most lavish wishes for the life ahead. Give the happy couple a commemorative beer mug, or a set of golf tees, or that bottle of Turkish raki you

And as for the gift registry! Not even Roman emperors exacting tributes from their vanquished foes had the nerve to specify precisely where the Gauls or the Pannonians should go shopping. But even worse – I was recently invited to a wedding where, I was informed, instead of a gift I should donate cash.

I reeled. No longer even the touching pretence that your gift will form part of the household of your dear friends, that every time they lift a slice of lemon meringue with that weird cake ladle, they’ll think of you.

“Cash?” I gasped.

“Or you could make an EFT,” my friend’s wife-to-be clarified helpfully. “It’s to buy a house.”

“Where will my name appear?”

“Huh?”

“In this house I’m helping you buy. Will there be a plaque on the lounge wall? Will there be a commemorative BristowBovey Breakfast Nook?”

“If you feel that way about it,” she said coldly, “you can

“I think,” said my friend heavily, “you should probably leave now.”

At the door I looked back, and he was consoling her with a husbandly hug, and to tell you the truth they did look a lovely couple, and my heart did swell with sunny thoughts of love and their future.

“I tell you what,” I said. “What about if I’m best man? If I can be best man, then I don’t mind paying.”

I think they’re still thinking about it. *

Unnecessary expenditure hurts me like a piano falling on my head – that someone will expect me to pay for