Mum Mail/DBN_July 2020

Discussing Loss with your Child

Collagen 101

Décor Ideas for Kids’ Rooms Issue 180 | Durban | July 2020 | FREE

EVERYDAY LIFE 3 4 6 8 10 11 12

From The Editor’s Desk...

CHILD’S PLAY: Décor Ideas for Kids’ Rooms Meet the Cover Stars Holistic Family Debt Management Choosing a Pet Rodent Book Reviews by Bargain Books 8 Tips to Grow Herbs in an Apartment

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Box of Succulents

CONTENTS

DELICIOUS LIFE/HOME LIFE 16 17

30 Minute Broccoli Cheddar Soup Recipe Energy Bars Recipe

18

Gardening Hacks

HEALTHY LIFE 20 22-23 24 26 27

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Mental Health in a Pandemic Corporate Wellness Week Keeping COVID-19 at Bay Why are They Doing That?

Teach Your Children How to Rise Above All Challenges

28-29 Collagen 101

TRAVEL FEATURE

30-31 At One with Nature

EDUCATED LIFE/KIDS’ LIFE

32 How do I Teach my Child to Listen?

33 Teaching Children How To Think From an Early Age 34 Proprioception: Using Sensory Input

to Help our Children Learn 35 Building a New Generation of Futureproof Entrepreneurs 36 Managing the Remote Learning Challenge 37

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Discussing Loss with Your Child

PARTY LIFE 38 39

Lockdown Party Ideas Super-Easy Birthday Cake

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THE MUM’S MAIL TEAM

Editor: Sarah Mackintosh • sarah@mumsmail.com • Enquiries: 031 - 714 4700 Accounts: meghan@mumsmail.com • Designer: Wendy Offer Advertising Sales: Bev Delew • bev@mumsmail.com | Anisha Singh • anisha@mumsmail.com Cover Photographer: Candice McDonald, www.candicemcdonaldphotography.co.za Printed sponsored by

, a division of Novus Holdings

DISCLAIMER: Neither the Publisher, Printer or Editor can be held responsible for damages or consequences of any omissions or errors, as every care is taken to ensure the accuracy of the information in Mum’s Mail. We do not guarantee the performance or quality of service of any of the advertisers in this magazine. No part of Mum’s Mail magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of the Editor.

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From the Editor’s Desk...

ow I can’t believe we’ve survived three months of lockdown! I’m very glad some of the restrictions have been eased, but not seeing my family and friends has been seriously hard. I’m a social being and I really miss the human interaction. But I guess it could be worse – at least I have a comfortable home to live in, food to eat and a great job that I love!

I got to thinking about what I have achieved during this lockdown time, and I’m proud to say my greatest accomplishment was that I survived (so far) with my family intact! To all the parents out there, I want to say this - don’t feel bad if you didn’t lose 10kgs, renovate your home, spring clean your home, clear out your cupboards, build a treehouse, read 20 books, start a yoga class, bake 100 banana breads or whatever it is that other parents have done. If you have done some or all of those things, good on

you, but if you haven’t done any of those things, that’s ok too! I started off with great intentions of becoming fitter, clearing out cupboards and more – but somehow time just flew past and before I knew it, three months had gone by and I’ve only ticked off a few of my goals. Parenting and homeschooling, plus working from home, is really hard, and the fact that we’ve managed to come this far in one piece is amazing! So I’m here to tell you to keep it up, and to be proud of yourself, and most importantly – don’t compare yourself to others! I don’t know how many more weeks or months we will be living in these strange circumstances, but hang in there and keep doing what you’re doing to survive! We have some inspiring articles for you this month – I hope you enjoy our “little toolbox for the young family” that we’ve worked so hard to produce!

Sarah x

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CHILD’S PLAY: Décor Ideas for Kids’ Rooms INTERIOR DESIGNER TARYN FLANAGAN OF TARYN FLANAGAN INTERIORS SHARES SOME CLEVER IDEAS FOR DECORATING YOUR CHILD’S BEDROOM. units, pretty baskets or shelves in fun shapes can make a feature out of a functional item - and hopefully, encourage children to tidy up and keep their space looking beautiful and neat.

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n antique piece can work brilliantly in a child’s room, especially if it is painted a bright colour.

A lick of paint in a striking colour, new handles and some textured accessories can turn an old piece of furniture into a standout and functional feature in the room.

It’s so important to encourage children to read and making books easily accessible is key. This simple leather strap attached to the headboard ensures that the little occupant of this room always has a book within easy reach, and knows exactly where his place is.

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Making a room feel like a secret hideaway is always a hit with children. Adding a set of gauzy curtains is an easy way to add a magical feel to any space.

Here, the same set of curtains encloses the top and bottom bunks making for two cosy spaces to escape to. The addition of the pompom trim is a final charming touch.

Keeping clutter at bay in a child’s bedroom or playroom can feel like a losing battle, but incorporating a few eye-catching storage

Children’s rooms are meant to be fun spaces which means you have leeway to go a little wild with décor. All kids have loads of toys, so why not use some of them as décor items instead of hiding them away in cupboards and drawers? In this little boy’s room, a set of shelves makes the perfect home for a collection of animal figurines that tie in with the safari-theme of the room.

Written by Candice Botha, Journalist and Copywriter. Visit www.writestylestudio. com for words that wow.

Photographs Supplied by Taryn Flanagan Interiors, Taryn Flanagan Interiors: www. tarynflanaganinteriors.co.za , 031 001 10 10, taryn@tdsagency.co.za

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Meet the Cover Stars MEET OUR DYNAMIC DUO, TWO-YEAR-OLD TWINS LAVINIA AND LIAM PEATTIE.

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hey have one older sister, Amelia (6).

Their parents are Brett and Yolanda Peattie. The family lives on a farm outside Cramond, near Albert Falls Dam. “Livvi is quiet and contemplating. Almost everything she does, she does with girly flare. Livvi holds her little finger up when she holds a spoon and runs in short ladylike steps that make her blonde curls bounce.

However, she can hold her own very well when it comes to having it her way,” says her mom. “Livvi loves animals and her nanny, precious ‘Gogo B’. One of the few, slightly less ladylike things Livvi does, is ride her black plastic “stutu” as if she’s the leader of the most feared biker gangsters! She’s an absolute dare devil on that thing!

“Liam is boy personified!! Most days I just try to make it through the day with all our limbs intact and accounted for!” laughs Yolanda. “He is ALWAYS on the go.

He climbs everything, he crawls through everything, he eats anything... The list goes on. He absolutely loves all things farming, most especially his “ganda ganda”. Often at night, you hear him calling “ganda ganda” out in his sleep. Liam is so very kind-hearted and loving. He loves his sisters and will share anything with them, except his tractor!”

On raising twins: “It’s hard, its constant, it’s a juggle between

picking everyone up at the same time (including Amelia) - sometimes it’s easier just to sit on the floor and let them find a part of you to sit on! It’s about having more than just eyes at the back of your head. Sleep...

What sleep? BUT it is wonderful, plentiful, and such a heart-warming blessing. The bond between twins is something incredible to witness. They are so in tune with each other. Our house is filled with giggles, running feet, and plenty of mess! Amelia is always teaching the twins new words, reading stories, playing “horse”. We are so very fortunate to have amazing nannies (yes plural) without whom, my sanity would have checked out a long time ago. We wouldn’t change being a twin-parents for anything in the world!” says Yolanda.

Advice to new parents: “Honestly, it’s hard. Your heart leaves you and walks around with these little people. The need to do your very best is overwhelming. But - you are doing a GREAT job. There are too many people, or posts or books telling you how and what to do to be better. But here’s the secret you are your little person’s chosen perfect parent. You alone know what is best for your child, and I would say to you, have the confidence to believe in yourself. You are AWESOME!” concludes Yolanda.

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Holistic Family Debt Management LOOKING AT YOUR FAMILY’S FINANCIAL SITUATION IN A HOLISTIC WAY HELPS YOU EXAMINE ALL ASPECTS OF IT.

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• All your past and present debt obligations • Any defaults or court orders you have with creditors • Any enquiries that creditors have made about you.

Once each family member has accessed their credit report, using all the information provided in it, make a list of all of your debt obligations, from the largest to the smallest.

Creating a financial plan If you have spare money to settle your debt as a family, make sure you tackle the smallest loans with the highest interest charges first.

That way you can start whittling down the bulk of your credit agreements.

Remember you can also enlist the help of a financial adviser to help with your family’s financial planning.

ll the individual parts in a financial plan need a ‘clean bill of health’ for your ‘family finance machine’ to function optimally as a whole.

Debt is one of those ‘parts’ and something Visit us at www.oldmutual.co.za talk to a financial adviser today. we all take on in some form.

Family financial audit Many families are struggling to gauge how much debt they are saddled with and how to manage their way out of it. This is when doing a family credit audit is so helpful.

As a family, talk openly and honestly about who owes what to whom and, as a starting point, access your free credit report online.

Sign up to Old Mutual Rewards and earn rewards points by accessing your annual credit report for free.

The credit report A credit report is a document that’s compiled by credit bureaus and it provides information that creditors may use to help them decide if they want to extend credit to you.

It will include: • Your personal information Old Mutual Life Assurance Company (South Africa) Limited is a • Your credit score Licensed Financial Services Provider

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Choosing a Pet Rodent AFTER MANY MONTHS OF BEGGING, WE FINALLY CAVED AND DECIDED TO GET MY SON A HAMSTER!

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ut before we took the plunge, I did a little research online and found some interesting information on choosing a pet rodent on www.avma.org that I’d like to share with other parents looking at adding a pet rodent to their family.

It is natural to be drawn to a cute little animal on first sight, but you need to consider which type of rodent might be a good fit for your family.

Before acquiring your new pet, make sure you understand his or her housing, social and environmental needs, activity patterns, potential odours and sounds, and any other factors that might be challenging for your household.

Rodents and children Rodents are often kept as pets for young children. Although children should be involved in caring for a pet, it is unrealistic to expect them to be solely responsible. An adult must be willing, able, and available to supervise. While they are small and generally tractable, rodents can cause injuries from scratching or biting.

Rodents can be very sensitive to being handled roughly or dropped, and they may learn to avoid or resist handling if not treated with care and consideration.

When you first acquire a rodent, it may not be “gentled” (accustomed to being handled). Children should not handle a rodent until an adult has ensured that the animal will tolerate normal interactions and handling calmly.

Additional tips on caring for your pet rodent • Bedding is an important part of caring for your pet. To prevent cage odours, use absorbent bedding and change it regularly.

• Rodents should always be handled with calm, slow movements. A safe “retreat”

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area should be provided in their cage.

• For your pet’s supervised time outside of its cage, create a safe, cleanable roaming area on a desk or by using a large container.

Leashes may be used with larger rodents.

When you acquire a pet When you acquire a pet, you accept responsibility for the health and welfare of another living thing. You are also responsible for your pet’s impact on your family, friends, and community. A pet will be part of your life for many years. Invest the time and effort necessary to make your years together happy ones. When you choose a pet, you are promising to care for it for its entire life.

Choose wisely, keep your promise, and enjoy one of life’s most rewarding experiences!

Written by Sarah Mackintosh

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ALICE female, 1 year

BIANCA female, 14 months

For adoptions: Contact Jenny adoptions@aacldurban.co.za

(031) 736 9093

Address: Artesia Farm, 53 Artesia Avenue (D657), Leckhampton Valley, Hammarsdale.

GPS Co-ordinates: S 29° 46’6 E 30° 38’9

Book Reviews

by Bargain Books MUM’S MAIL HAS A R2000 BARGAIN BOOKS VOUCHERS TO GIVE AWAY. FOR CHILDREN WHERE HAPPINESS LIVES by Barry Timms. This gorgeously illustrated Little Tiger Press title with flaps to lift and peepthrough pages is not only a smile-inducing picture book but also a wonderful way to engage children in discussions of happiness. It explores contentment, materialism and teaches us that more is not always better. I especially loved that it reminds us that you might just have all that you already need. It made me take time to pause, take stock of what I already have, and find happiness there. In a world of “too much”, a title like this reminds us of what really matters. A terrific addition to any home or classroom bookshelf.

ZAP! EXTRA: TOO CUTE ERASERS by Hinkler. With magical, moldable, bakeable eraser clay, sculpt 12 of your very own gorgeous creations with eraser clay, and then bake them in the oven to make erasers that are just too cute! With a 48-page instructional book, 6 packets of clay, two specialised clay sculpting tools, black ‘kawaii’ eyes, and glitter to make your designs sparkle, it is just so simple! This delightful kit also includes cheery press-out boxes to fold and use to display your incredible designs. One thing is for sure, kids of eight years and older will never have to worry about making an error again!

FOR ADULTS JOY AT WORK: ORGANIZING YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE by Marie Kondo and Scott Sonenshein. Want to rid the clutter that is piling on your desk, clogging your calendar, and infiltrating your personal networks? With the great strategies in this new title by bestselling author and Netflix star Marie Kondo and Rice University business professor Scott Sonenshein, you will be able to eliminate clutter and make space for work that really matters. This is also a must read for anyone wanting to rid themselves of internal mind clutter and wanting to gain more joy in their everyday work life.

Reviews by Bianca Noel-Barham, Bargain Books on 021 706 1461, bianca@bargainbooks.co.za or visit www.bargainbooks.co.za.

Follow them on Instagram & Facebook: @bargainbookssa.

WIN WIN WIN Mum’s Mail has a R2000 Bargain Books vouchers to give away.

Visit www.mumsmail.com to enter.

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8 Tips to Grow Herbs in an Apartment DON’T GET TOO OVERWHELMED BY EACH HERB’S SPECIFIC NEEDS. A LITTLE GENERAL GARDENING KNOW-HOW CAN HELP YOU MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR HERB GARDEN.

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ere are some gardening tips from the prodessionals.

1. Start small If you’re new to growing herbs or your space is limited, start with two to three herbs. Select the ones that you believe you will use the most.

2. Choose herbs you like to eat Start your apartment herb garden with herbs you like to use or that you’d typically buy at the grocery store. Once you get used to cooking with fresh herbs, there’s nothing better than having a plant on the windowsill you can snip a few leaves from to create salads and other dishes.

3. Pick the right spot You may live in a concrete jungle, but try to find your herbs as much natural light as possible. “Place them in a sunny spot near a window or on a deck, where they’ll get at least six hours of sun daily.

4. Don’t put your herbs together, unless they like one another Not all herbs are friends, so don’t put them in the same container. Each herb may have its own needs, which conflict with

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another herb that you are trying to grow in the same pot.

5. Don’t overwater your herbs The biggest mistake that gardeners and cooks make is to overwater their herbs. If the leaves start turning yellow, you are probably watering too much.

6. Use high-quality potting soil Invest in an organic, high-quality potting soil. Don’t use soil from outdoors, as that’s a good way to bring unwanted pests into your home.

7. Water the soil, not the leaves Unless you want to grow fungus (you don’t!), water the soil of your herbs, not the leaves.

8. Don’t let your herbs sit in water Make sure you give your herbs welldrained soil, so water doesn’t pool. And, don’t let them sit in a tray full of water. Once you water your herbs, let them drain into the saucer for a few minutes, and then empty the saucer out so it’s dry. Leaving your plants sitting in water can cause root rot.

Source: www.organicauthority.com.

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Box of Succulents THIS IS A GREAT ACTIVITY FOR TWEENS WANTING TO GIVE THEIR PARENTS, TEACHERS OR EVEN A SPECIAL SOMEONE A LOVELY ORIGINAL GIFT. You will need: • A wooden or cardboard box.

• Tissue paper: Pick a pretty piece of tissue paper to decorate the inside of your box • Succulents: Choose a variety of small succulents for the inside of your box.

• Colour printout of succulents you have chosen.

• Glue • A seedling tray to hold your succulents inside the box.

• Succulent soil: well-draining soil is important for succulents.

• Twine for finishing off your box.

• A card/label Instructions: Use the glue to stick the print-out of your succulents to the inside top of your box, so when you open your box you’ll be able to see exactly what types of succulents are in there.

Then you take your tissue paper and pop it into the bottom of the box. Be sure to use a big enough piece so that it can stick out the top.

Next, you’ll need to get your seedling tray and succulent soil. Place the succulent soil into the seedling tray. Carefully plant your succulents into the seedling tray and fill up the tray with soil to cover the roots. Once they are all planted give the succulents a slight watering. Give your succulents some time to dry out a bit before popping them into your box on top of the tissue paper.

Gently fold the tissue paper you left sticking out of the top of your box around your succulents to cover them and then close the lid of your box.

Write on your card/label and neatly tie up your box with the twine.

Source: www.lifeisagarden.co.za.

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30 Minute Broccoli Cheddar Soup HEALTHY BROCCOLI CHEDDAR SOUP PACKED WITH CARROTS, BROCCOLI, GARLIC, AND CHEESE. THIS CREAMY VELVETY SOUP CAN BE MADE IN UNDER 30 MINUTES!

Ingredients • 4 tablespoons butter • ½ medium onion chopped • 2-3 cloves garlic, minced • 4 tablespoons flour • 2 cups low sodium chicken or vegetable stock • 1 tsp kosher salt • ½ tsp black pepper • ¼ tsp paprika or ground nutmeg, optional • 3 cups broccoli florets or 1 large head, cut into small pieces • 1 large carrot grated, julienned or finely chopped • 2 cups light or heavy cream • 220g block grated cheddar cheese or 2 cups (mild, medium, or sharp)

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Instructions Melt butter in a pot over medium-high heat.

Add the onion and cook for three to four minutes or until softened and light gold.

Add the garlic and saute for another minute.

Add flour and whisk for one to two minutes or until the flour begins to turn golden in colour. Pour in the chicken stock, broccoli florets, carrots, and seasoning. Bring to a boil then reduce heat to medium-low and simmer for 15 minutes or until the broccoli and carrots are cooked through.

Stir in the cream and cheddar cheese and simmer for another minute. Taste and adjust seasoning if needed. Serve with toasted crusty bread or in a bread bowl if desired.

Source: www.gimmedelicious.com.

Energy Bars THE BEST ENERGY BARS FOR YOUR NEXT ADVENTURE! Ingredients: • 125g butter • 1/4 cup honey • 1 cup raw oats • 1/4 cup raisins • 1/4 cup cranberries • 1/4 cup chopped dried peaches or mango • 3/4 cup self-raising flour • 1/2 cup brown sugar • A handful of chosen seeds or nuts like pumpkin seeds, chopped almonds or sunflower seeds Method Preheat the oven to 170°C and prepare a baking tray with non-stick spray and baking paper.

Melt butter and honey and set aside.

In a big mixing bowl, mix all the other ingredients together and add melted butter mixture and mix it all together.

Press into the prepared tray and smooth off the top with the back of the spoon.

Bake for about 20 minutes, or until just golden.

Allow to cool completely in the tray, then cut into squares. Store in an airtight container once completely cool.

Recipe by Danielle Du Toit, www.pheka.co.za.

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Gardening Hacks SOME GREAT GARDENING HACKS TO TRY FROM THE FAMILY HANDYMAN WEBSITE Micro Greenhouse Do you have a hard time starting seeds or cuttings? Try soda bottle greenhouses.

Cut the bottom off 2-liter soda bottles and remove the labels. Each seed gets its own micro greenhouse! Remove the greenhouses once the seeds have germinated and cuttings are rooted.

Cardboard Seed Tube For an easy and green way to start seeds, save your toilet paper tubes. Cut the tubes into 2-inch lengths and set them in a waterproof tray. Fill the tubes with potting soil and plant your seeds. When the seedlings are ready to move to the garden, plant them right in their cardboard tube. The cardboard will decompose. Be sure to keep the tube below the soil surface, so it doesn’t take moisture away from the roots.

Healthy Plant Hydration Water settling at the bottom of pots can lead to root rot. To combat this problem, cut up old sponges and put them in the bottom of the pot. The sponges retain moisture and create necessary air space. They also help prevent water from flushing out the bottom.

The sponge acts as a water reserve and keeps soil moist longer.

Easy Mulch Spreading Getting mulch up close to flowers and bushes is easier if the mulch is in a small container. Place buckets and pails in your wheelbarrow and fill them up with mulch. It doesn’t matter much if the mulch misses the bucket and lands in the wheelbarrow. Once you’re done dumping the buckets, dump what’s left in the wheelbarrow in an open area and spread it out.

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Mental Health in a Pandemic WE ARE CURRENTLY SUBMERGED IN A WORLD WHERE THERE IS A CONSTANT OBSESSION WITH ONE’S PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS – DO I HAVE A TEMPERATURE, IS THAT NIGGLE IN MY THROAT SOMETHING MORE, COULD THAT MILD SHORTNESS OF BREATH MEAN THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH MY LUNGS?

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he COVID-19 pandemic has not only given us a physical disease to contend with but also, and often overlooked, a disruption in our mental health. The incessant temperature taking, and hand sanitizing is taking its toll on us all. Not to mention the threat of retrenchment, loss of income and isolated family members who we can’t visit. Anxiety levels and depression have increased during this very uncertain time. Those who were already anxious are now hitting their breaking point and those that were previously ‘fine’ are now starting to experience constant worry and a feeling of being overwhelmed. If you are reading this and feel out of control, know that you are not alone and there are

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some measures to help you cope better.

• Maintain a healthy lifestyle – eat a wellbalanced diet, get good quality sleep, and exercise moderately for about 30 minutes a day. Please don’t take the exercise to the extreme though as it can lead to injury or feelings of inadequacy if you aren’t posting all your workout videos on social media.

• Avoid excessive alcohol consumption and smoking to deal with your emotions.

• Gather the facts regarding COVID-19 to ensure that you accurately determine your risk so that you can take reasonable precautions. Use a credible source such as the WHO or NICD. • Lessen the constant news exposure that we all seem to have grown very accustomed to. Do not have your TV or radio tuned onto the media coverage throughout the day it can cause more worry and agitation.

• Consider times in your life where things have been tough and you’ve managed to come through the other side. Use these skills to deal with the anxiety and worry caused by the pandemic.

If you’ve implemented the above measures and are still experiencing some symptoms of anxiety or depression, then it is best if you make an appointment to see your doctor. He/she can explain the various pharmacological options available to you as well as recommend a psychologist to help with development of coping skills.

So remember the next time you are worrying about your temperature, take a quick check of your mental health, it’s just as important!

By Dr Laura Troskie, www.umhlangagp.net.

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Corporate Wellness Week THE FIRST WEEK OF JULY IS CORPORATE WELLNESS WEEK - AN OPPORTUNITY TO RAISE AWARENESS OF THE NEED TO CREATE A HEALTHY WORK ENVIRONMENT.

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n an unhealthy work environment, there is decreased productivity, higher absenteeism, poor work ethic and lower safety in the workplace.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) proposes that “A healthy workplace is one in which workers and managers collaborate to use a continual improvement process to protect and promote the health, safety and well-being of all workers and the sustainability of the workplace.”

Let us look at two health and wellness concerns in the workplace.

Mental Health The South African Federation for Mental Health is a non-governmental organisation (NGO) seeking to uphold and protect the rights of people with mental illnesses. The call is

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for employers to facilitate mechanisms to achieve the objective of achieving a healthy workplace.

According to the WHO, the average person spends a third of their adult life at work. It is thus important that the workplace is somewhere that employees can potentially function at their peak.

The WHO defines mental health as “…a state of wellbeing in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.”

In today’s fast-paced society, employees experience stress in the workplace daily. Work stress, combined with other mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety, impact on the productivity of employees and in turn also on the performance of companies and organisations in South Africa. It is therefore important that employers pay increased attention to their employees’ wellness, especially with regards to mental health.

In general, employees do not feel comfortable in ad-

dressing their mental health issues with their employers.

A survey by the South African Depression and Anxiety Group in 2017 showed that only 1 in 6 employees who had a mental illness indicated that they would be comfortable disclosing this to their manager. This is due to actual or perceived stigma. Stigma is pervasive throughout society, but can be increasingly malicious in the workplace, where employees fear retaliations for what they perceive to be weakness. This is because mental illness tends to be ‘invisible’ compared to those with a physical illness. Workplace bullying causes unseen damage to individuals, therefore awareness and educational programmes to all managers and their employees is of vital importance.

Employee responsibilities for self-care include: • adequate sleep and exercise • ensure appropriate socialisation and spiritual expression • ask for help and access services when necessary Ergonomics This is the study or measurement of work. In this context, the term work

signifies purposeful human function; it extends beyond the more restricted concept of work as labour for monetary gain, to incorporate all activities whereby a rational human operator systematically pursues an objective. Thus it includes sports and other leisure activities, domestic work such as child care and home maintenance, education and training, health and social service, and either controlling engineered systems or adapting to them, for example, as a passenger in a vehicle. More specifically, ergonomics is the science of designing the job to fit the worker.

In all situations, activities and tasks, the focus is the person or persons involved. It is assumed that the structure, the engineering and any other technology is there to serve the operator, and not the other way round.

An ergonomics programme is a systematic process for identifying, analysing, and controlling workplace risk factors, often for reducing overuse musculoskeletal disorders.

Together, employers, workers, and other parties with an understanding of ergonomics can design effective programmes to prevent and minimize work-related musculoskeletal disorders.

What are the advantages of good ergonomics?

• Increased savings: fewer injuries, more productive employees, fewer workman’s compensation claims • Fewer employees experiencing pain: ergonomics reduces the risk factors that lead to discomfort • Increased productivity: more efficient, productive, and greater job satisfaction • Increased morale: employees feel valued because their workplace is safer • Reduced absenteeism: healthy and pain-free workers For more information visit www.safmh.org.za.

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Keeping COVID-19 at Bay A

THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC IS OUR NEW REALITY.

midst soaring infection rates and overwhelmed public health systems, nations across the globe have resorted to drastic measures to protect their populations. South Africa’s state-imposed lockdown and everincreasing new infections must serve as an opportunity for us to consider our personal responsibility in the greater public health crisis going forward.

Emma Corder, Managing Director for industrial cleaning product company Industroclean, believes that separating myths from facts and giving South Africans clear and credible information on how to protect themselves and their loved ones is critical in flattening the curve of new infections.

“For example, washing hands with soap and water for 20 seconds is by far the most effective method of keeping the virus at bay,” she says. “Alcohol rubs may be used when soap and water are not readily at hand but must contain an isopropyl (alcohol) content of at least 70% in order for the alcohol to be able to break the virus proteins apart, in a process called denaturation.”

Corder cautions however that alcoholbased hand-sanitizers should be bought carefully and used mindfully.

“While these products are convenient in the absence of soap and water, they do carry certain risks. For instance, there is the danger of small children Dr Kathryn in the house ingesting Carr these products.”

MBChB (UCT) DCH (SA) It’s been said that regular soap destroys GENERAL the lipid envelope; PRACTITIONER the fatty layer that Special interest is the virus’s protecin Child Health tive shell, and the 031 573 1185 action of washing drkathcarr@gmail.com and rinsing should 33 Beachway, Durban North dislodge any remain-

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ing pathogens. Drying our skin thoroughly after washing also makes it a less habitable environment for any virus.

Since the virus may be able to survive for hours or even days on many common surfaces, proper cleaning of surfaces is paramount. Corder explains that common household cleaners are a perfectly adequate solution for sanitizing surfaces around our homes.

Diluted household bleach solutions can be used on certain but not all surfaces if it has not passed its expiry date. It’s also important to remember never to mix household bleach with ammonia or any other cleaner.

And again, some of these products can irritate the lungs, slightly wounding the mucus membranes and leaving us even more vulnerable to coronavirus.

Corder says that the temptation to use strong, medical grade disinfectants should be curtailed as these kill both good germs and bad, thereby potentially weakening our immune systems to future bugs. However, stronger disinfectants can and should be used in an isolation space occupied by an infected person who is ill or one who is suspected of carrying the virus.

Corder explains that in this case, more rigorous protocols are required and higher concentrations of cleaning products, comparable to those used in a healthcare facility setting, should be used for cleaning of surfaces. “Surfaces that are touched often, like counters, toilets, computers, phones and tables should be cleaned thoroughly and often”, she says.

“This is a time when South Africans can show their care for each other by being aware of their personal responsibility and being mindful of the effect that their actions may have on those who are more vulnerable to contracting the virus,” concludes Corder.

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Why are They Doing That?

PSYCHOLOGIST CAROL SURYA EXPLORES WAYS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR AND FIND BETTER WAYS TO RESPOND.

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ver wish you could be inside your child’s head for a moment to figure out what’s making them do what they do? By understanding that children live in a world of feelings (without easily expressing feelings in words), and are showing us their feelings through their actions, our whole attitude starts to change. Just like crying babies usually need food, sleep or a nappy change, there is a reason for everything that our kids do – even though they don’t consciously know this, there are always underlying needs and feelings at play. The best way to figure them out is to ask yourself what they may need and feel.

When kids can’t find positive, useful ways to have their needs met or feelings expressed, they’ll inevitably turn to more unhealthy ways. If you understand what your child needs (and feels) in that moment, instead of reacting, your change in perspective will have you talking about their needs and feelings. This works like magic!

Better ways to respond Ask yourself what they want/need. Knowing their underlying need helps you as a parent to help your kids get their needs met more healthily.

Avoid asking why - it often makes kids defensive and they usually can’t explain their inner feelings.

Rather name their feeling for them (e.g. “you’re sad because you weren’t invited to the party.”).

Remember to encourage all feelings - it’s what kids do with their feelings that’s most important.

Teach them how to express their feelings

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in words instead of through their actions alone. Take some deep breaths before responding - when you react instinctively or lash out, their behaviour usually doesn’t change, it often worsens.

Check what you are wanting them to learn - punishing them without acknowledging their needs or feelings usually only brings about short term changes.

For kids to become more responsible, we need to give them choices, explain the consequences and follow through with what we’ve said.

Lastly, it’s important to remember that what children find stressful, and how they cope, differs from adults. When something troubling happens, a buildup of unexpressed feelings and needs will show as a definite change in behaviour, which your child can’t easily understand or change without help.

Without encouragement and learning healthy ways to let out their feelings, children don’t easily speak out about what’s really going on. Many “misbehaviours” are common after a major change or challenge. These are like warning lights asking us for more help.

For great tools to teach kids emotional intelligence visit www. raisingkidspositively.com or subscribe to psychologist Carol Surya’s YouTube Channel.

Teach Your Children How to Rise Above All Challenges A GUIDE ON HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY TO RETURN TO SCHOOL AFTER LOCK DOWN

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t is a very stressful time for the education system and for parents who are striving to do the best for their children who are returning to school.

The structure and discipline which schools provide is essential for their growth. It is inevitable that normal life will resume, with this ‘extended school holiday’ not really benefitting mothers who need to return to work.

Many parents have made the decision to send their children back to school because of their holistic development. Others still harbour fears that their child may be at great risk of contracting the Covid-19 virus and have taken the step to keep them at home.

As a mother of three, I understand the anxiety that goes with exposing your child to such a risk. However, if you are motivated to move forward and create a new normal, you have to make more effort to equip your children to adapt to any situation during these changing times.

Here are some steps you can take as parents to empower your children: Help them to feel safe and secure by eradicating any fears and worries that you may have about their return to school. Children often pick up on your anxiety, likewise your calmness and positivity about them returning to school will also rub off on them.

Educate your child about the different stages of lock down and the measures of hygiene that they would need to follow to be safe. Use creative role play exercises at

home to demonstrate the level of social distancing required at school, and enact the dos and don’ts in a fun way.

Prepare them mentally with short daily quizzes as a recap of their term’s work, and practice brain gym exercises with them to activate their memory box.

Connecting them with their school friends via a video call will get them in high spirits and contribute to their motivation and optimism about returning to school. School plays a huge role in their social, personal and academic development.

Help your child to rid themselves of negative thoughts or paranoia about contracting the virus at school, by reminding them to have faith in God and in themselves. Spirituality for children during these uncertain times also contributes to psychological wellbeing and is the only constant that they can look to, to boost their inner strength and courage.

We can get our children ready for school by going back to basics: strict sleeping and wake up times, and creating a routine similar to school will support them in their transition. Be aware of your child’s emotional concerns that may affect them negatively. Get professional assistance if necessary. Create resilient children who are able to stay focused on positive outcomes and are fully equipped to handle any challenges that come their way.

By Farah Manjoo, Female & Kids Empowerment Coach, www.baraaqahealingsanctuary.co.za.

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Collagen 101 C

KATRINE ANKER-NILSSEN TAKES A CLOSER LOOK AT THE HYPE AROUND COLLAGEN SUPPLEMENTS.

ollagen has been around in cosmetics for a while, but is a relatively new kid on the block when it comes to supplements. Its benefits certainly sound intriguing, but is it just another health fad? Let’s find out why you should be taking it, and how you can ensure you’re taking the best possible product.

“Collagen is the most abundant protein in our body. It is found in our bones, muscles, skin, and tendons. It’s the glue that holds the body together, and forms a foundation to provide strength and structure,” explains registered dietician Danielle Roberts – the Sharks rugby team’s nutritionist.

Strengthening the skin by improving elasticity and hydration, collagen can keep us looking younger by slowing down the aging process. It may also help improve joint pain and maintain bone mass. “Bones are mostly made of collagen, which give them structure,” explains Danielle. “As we age, we lose bone mass density. Taking collagen can help increase bone density and prevent bone disorders like osteoporosis.”

Collagen may also help gut health issues by strengthening the lining of the gut – making it less permeable and more effective in retaining nutrients from food – and

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improving gut absorption issues. This, however, needs more scientific research. “Most of the research done has been on joint and skin health, showing beneficial effects,” says Danielle. “Although larger studies are needed, I have many older clients who on taking the right collagen can feel the difference in their skin, hair growth and nails in just one to two months.”

When combined with exercise, collagen may also boost metabolism by increasing lean muscle mass. “Due to the high amino acid content, it makes it an ideal protein for muscle repair and recovery – reducing stiffness,” explains Mariska Terblanche of Skat “Apart from preventing the signs of aging by hydrating the skin and reducing wrinkles, it can also promote nail and hair growth,” she adds.

Our ancestors ate animals from head to tail, ensuring that there was no waste. This included boiling down the bones and ligaments, or the animal, to make a rich broth that formed the basis of most of their meals.

“Collagen is found mostly in the parts of the animal that we discard in modern-day cooking, so we just don’t get enough of it in our diets,” explains Catherine Clark – owner of The Harvest Table – adding that collagen is “more than just a supplement, it is a necessity for optimum health.”

“Because good collagen supplements – which are additive, filler and preservative free – are actually a food, there are very few, if any, side effects,” says Catherine. However according to Danielle collagen supplements may cause indigestion for some people,

or a feeling of fullness – as it is a protein.

You can take collagen in the form of pills, capsules, powder, granules or even liquid.

“In order to receive enough collagen for your body to do the repair work that it needs, you should be taking approximately 16 grams a day,” says Catherine. “As collagen can be heated without losing its effectiveness, you can easily add it into cooking and hot drinks.” It also works well in smoothies, and according to Mariska you can bake with it without compromising your recipe.

Some people suggest taking collagen in the morning when your stomach is empty, while others prefer taking it at night – so that can body can “process” it while you sleep.

“Personally, I take collagen powder in the morning after I train, as it adds 10g protein to my post workout meal,” says Danielle.

With so many collagen supplements available, make sure you do your research.

A good collagen supplement will be 100% pure, natural and unsweetened. “Colourless and tasteless means there are no other ingredients added,” says Mariska.

Always look for a product that comes from a grass fed (bovine) source or wild caught (marine) source. “This ensures that the animals were raised as nature intended, and not prematurely fattened. Also ensure that the animals were given no routine antibiotics or growth hormones – as you wouldn’t wanted traces of those in your collagen,” says Catherine.

“Collagen needs to be broken down into peptides to be absorbed into the body, so look out for a hydrolysed collagen supplement,” says Danielle – adding that it’s absorbed better with vitamin C. Veganism is the fastest growing sector in the food industry today, so

re s e a rc h e r s are feeling the pressure to come up with a plant-based alternative to collagen supplements.

Protein is made up of building blocks called amino acids, and different types of protein – whether it is egg, pea or bovine – all contain a different mix of amino acids.

“Collagen protein has a unique set of amino acids found only within the skin and tissue of animals. These amino acid combinations do not naturally occur in plants.

We can offer a mix of plant-based proteins to try and give the best possible second alternative to animal-based collagen, but it is not proven to be as effective. This is a hot topic and we should watch this space closely as new research becomes available,” says Mariska.

“Aloe vera, bamboo and seaweed may have collagen boosting materials, as well as certain mushrooms which provide the amino acids to make certain proteins,” adds Danielle.

To boost your collagen naturally, drinking bone broth or adding bone broth powder when cooking are great options. “Cooking foods, like stews, with the bones in, also increases collagen,” says Catherine – who believes consumers will see greater long term benefits by consuming collagen and allowing their bodies to repair from within.

For more information contact: Danielle Roberts, www.danielleroberts.co.za Catherine Clark, www.harvesttable.co.za Mariska Terblanche, www.skatonline.co.za

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At One with Nature LOOKING FOR THE ULTIMATE WEEKEND GETAWAY EXPERIENCE OFFERING LUXURY ACCOMMODATION AND THE TRANQUILLITY OF THE BUSH? TANDWENI VILLA TICKS ALL THE BOXES, WRITES LORNA KING.

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fter a busy start to 2020 I was looking forward to getting away from traffic jams and enjoying some peace and quiet in the bush.

I was not disappointed. Just over three hour’s drive from uMhlanga and set within the Pongola Biosphere Reserve on the banks of Jozini Dam, the peaceful haven of Tandweni Villa awaits.

Not one to enjoy rustic living and roughing it, Tandweni Villa was right up my street – luxury living with all the bells and whistles, surrounded by the bush and wild animals.

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Everything about Tandweni Villa oozes comfort and space – and there’s lots of it. The massive wooden front door welcomes you into an open plan living area, dining area and fully-fitted kitchen, plus an entertainment area with sliding doors that open up on all sides, allowing one to take in the views and tranquillity. There are five double rooms – one with two single beds and three en suite – and all are beautifully decorated and boast views of the surrounding bush and Jozini Dam.

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As the afternoon heat started to subside, it made perfect sense to chill outside on the patio with a drink in hand watching nyala, buck and warthog graze nearby, a plunge pool to cool down in, and stunning views of the dam and up the Jozini Gorge.

As the sun set and the stars lit up, the sky was transformed into a blanket of flickering lights.

This is Africa at its best.

Undisturbed peace and quiet. A far cry from the city.

The early morning picture was equally as stunning

– still waters on the dam with a fine covering of mist which disappeared as the sun took hold on another day. Unfortunately we missed the elephants heading south much earlier, but on a late afternoon game drive we were lucky enough to see plenty of warthog, blue wildebeest, nyala, buck and an abundance of birdlife.

Children are more than welcome, and within the fenced garden there’s a jungle gym and slide, plus a look-out where they can do their own game viewing.

Besides relaxing with

a book – indoors, on a lounger or on one of the many comfy chairs on the veranda – or simply staring out at the wild, Tandweni Villa offers tiger fishing, Big 4 game viewing, boat cruises, gym facilities, a fully equipped braai/boma, a grass airstrip and hanger, and walks in the area.

The villa sleeps 10 people and is self-catering, but staff are available to take care of cleaning up and were more than helpful and accommodating.

Jabulani, the ranger, is the go-to man offering advice regarding the games

drives, cruises and fishing.

Arriving back in uMhlanga on Sunday afternoon, I realised how lucky we are to have a slice of Africa a couple of hours away – close enough to be able to recharge our city batteries whenever we want.

Celebrate The End Of Lockdown Good news for anyone wanting to get away after lockdown - Tandweni Villa is offering a 20% discount on post-lockdown bookings.

For more info: 083 626 6001; www.tandweni.co.za

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How do I Teach my Child to Listen?

“LISTEN TO ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU!” “ARE YOU DEAF?!” “SHUT UP….I MEAN ZIP YOUR LIPS AND LISTEN!” “ARE YOU SITTING ON YOUR EARS?” “ARE THOSE THINGS ON THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD DECORATIONS?!”

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oes the above sound familiar?

3 REASONS WHY IT IS IMPORTANT FOR YOUR CHILD TO LISTEN 1. Listening forms the foundation to human relationships. According to Dr Rachel Naomi Remen, “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”

2. Listening helps a child improve their knowledge and understanding.

3. In order for a child to mature and grow into a well-respected member of society, they need to know how to listen. Listening improves knowledge.

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How does one listen?

According to the Oxford Dictionary, the word listen means to give one’s attention to sound.

If you had to ask your child to brainstorm ‘how do I listen’, what would he or she say? More importantly what would you say?

4 Secrets to Listening These secrets appear simple! Be warned, they are not! The secrets are difficult and laborious to teach but the younger your child can master these skills the better.

1. STOP. Whenever your child hears a voice directed at him, he needs to STOP whatever he is doing.

2. LOOK. Once your child has mastered the art of

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stopping, he needs to LOOK. LOOK at the owner of the voice.

3. THINK. Once your child has STOPPED, LOOKED and STUDIED the speaker’s lips, he must THINK about what has been said. Your child needs to process what has been uttered and decide what to do with it. They need to decide what words in the information are CRITICAL and then take action.

4. DOODLE. This secret only applies to the child who can write. Doodle means to ‘scribble absentmindedly’. Kids prefer the word doodle to notetaking. If your child can learn to scribble presentmindedly in the classroom from an early age, it will result in genius.

In this article (www.andnextcomesl.com/2019/05/ listening-games-activities. html) Dyan Robson lists many activities one can do to improve your child’s listening skills.

When carrying out these activities, try and incorporate the four secrets to listening.

By Kath Denholm.

Teaching Children How To Think From an Early Age ACCORDING TO MARGARET MEAD, AN AMERICAN CULTURAL ANTHROPOLOGIST, CHILDREN MUST BE TAUGHT HOW TO THINK NOT WHAT TO THINK.

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he earlier we can equip our children with the relevant skills on how to think, the better.

9 PILLARS THAT PLAY A VERY CRITICAL ROLE IN TEACHING A CHILD HOW TO THINK 1. Listening A child must know (and apply) the basic secrets to effective listening.

2. Critical vs. Non-critical information A child must learn that NOT all information is important. A child must be able to identify which information is CRITICAL

and which information is NON-CRITICAL. 3. Keyword Identification Once a child is able to determine which information is CRITICAL INFORMATION, he must be able to draw out key concepts from both a written level as well as an auditory level.

4. Effective Reading Now that a child knows how to identify critical information and keywords, he must learn to comprehend information on a written and an auditory level.

5. Effective Note-taking Note-taking effectively

increases ones concentration as well as retention in the classroom considerably.

A child must learn from an early age how to take notes of the critical information heard in the classroom.

6. Summarising In order to boost a child’s retention and understanding, he must be able to know how to summarise the critical information of a text.

7. Memory A child must know how to use and apply the best memory systems, to enhance recall and the ability to think critically.

8. Revision Revision means to see again. The more a child learns to see the information again, the more his brain will trust that it is important and should be stored. A child must know when, how and how often to reinforce key information learnt in the classroom and from written text.

9. The Art of Skilful Living Real intelligence is creating products and services that are valued by society.

A child must learn to think critically and apply his genius to real world problems.

By Kath Denholm.

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Proprioception: Using Sensory Input to Help our Children Learn S

MODULATION IS LIKE THE VOLUME CONTROL OF THE WAY IN WHICH WE EXPERIENCE SENSATIONS.

ome of us are more sensitive and experience sensations more intensely, which can be overwhelming, causing avoidance, and can prevent children from participating in play activities essential for development.

Others’ volume is set on low, and they need more input in order to register. These kiddies can be slow to get going, or tend to seek out extra sensory input in order to be able to be alert and maintain attention.

We may have different volume settings for each one of our eight senses. The way in which each of us processes sensory information is different, and affects us ALL, to varying degrees. So even if your child does not have significant difficulties, it’s helpful to understand their unique sensory profile, which gives us more insight into their mood and behaviour in different contexts.

Proprioception is the feedback we get from our muscles and tendons about where our body is in space. This sense enables us to know that our feet are on the floor, where we need to place them when we run and the force we need to apply.

Proprioception is a modulating sense.

This means that we can use proprioceptive input to help keep ourselves regulated, or to regulate the dysregulated child.

Children who have modulation (volume control) difficulties in other areas, often seek out proprioceptive input to regulate themselves. Children may also be under-responsive (have a low volume) to proprioceptive input, and may seek out extra input to be able to be in a “good space”.

Behaviours that you may see are: • Biting, hitting, scratching, bumping other children or self, in reaction to dysregulating

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sensory input- like light touch for a tactile defensive child • Seeking out chewy, hard or crunchy foods • Falling on purpose • Leaning on furniture, draping self over surfaces etc.

• Being too rough, or struggling to be gentle • Hyperactivity Strategies that we can introduce to decrease the above “negative strategies” and help the child to use proprioception to modulate in a safer, more appropriate way are as follows: - Lots of rough and tumble play - Heavy work/chores - Lots of movement breaks in the classroom, involving “heavy work” such as handing out books - Provide places to crash and fall - Encourage child to roll, crawl etc.

- Make use of weighted vests and weighted blankets etc.

- Put a stretchy elastic exercise band around the legs of the child’s chair, so that they can get increased proprioceptive input through their legs while sitting.

- Provide fidget toys with resistance, like putty, elastic bands etc.

- Roll child tightly in a blanket and challenge them to escape.

- Exercises like wall/desk push ups, jumping, etc.

Any movement activity that provides resistance is going to help these kiddies to feel regulated and be in a better space to learn and manage their mood and their behaviour.

By Emma Wijnberg, Occupational Therapist, www.littlelivesoccupationaltherapy.com.

Building a New Generation of Futureproof Entrepreneurs FUTUREPROOF MAKES ENTREPRENEURSHIP COURSES AVAILABLE TO KIDS ONLINE.

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ith a few valuable months now lost, schools will be hard-pressed to get their learners through the remainder of the year. Having recognised the need for an online learning platform, Futureproof SA’s online offering, The Quest, makes it possible for learners as young as age five to undertake in entrepreneurship courses, outside of the classroom.

Futureproof’s new online programme, The Quest, is intuitive, engaging and fun – like learning should be.

Here, kids can learn at their own pace and as they feel comfortable. It offers 10 adventure levels, especially and intelligently structured for kids of all ages. The learning system integrates entrepreneurial learning science with a digital interface to create interactive content. More than a classroom behind a screen, learners turn into players who can build their own avatars as they progress through the levels. It’s packed with animations, enhanced functionalities and fun characters”.

Futureproof not only teaches the skills needed to start and run a business but it builds critical behavioural competencies to provide a strong foundation for succes.

More than ever, kids need to architect their own futures. “Be it in the classroom or at home, we need to educate children on the practical application of entrepreneurship to create a generation of informed, thriving youths,” says Lisa Illingworth, co-founder and CEO of Futureproof SA. Entrepreneurs (and intrapreneurs) possess several much-needed skills for survival – especially in these tough times. “They identify a problem/gap and create a service or a product to solve this and generate a flow of money. Their tenacity is something

that few can relate to,” says Lisa. “Entrepreneurs sacrifice short-term gain to deliver a long-term solution and derive an income from their efforts. Nothing comes easy to an entrepreneur, so persistence is key”. In terms of off-site support, Futureproof’s team of superheroes are always on hand.

The business has seen many lives changed and recently a team of boys from Parkfields Primary School, aged 11, refurbished bicycle parts after doing the lesson on planning and in one week made R265. Their teacher commented that she had seen some kids that hardly ever engage academically, come alive when they were exposed to the course and the people teaching it.

To find out more about The Quest, visit: www.futureproofonline.co.za.

WIN WIN WIN! Mum’s Mail has 10 Kids’ Entrepreneurship Courses from Futureproof to give away.

Visit www.mumsmail.com to enter.

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Managing the Remote Learning Challenge BELLAVISTA SCHOOL HAS SOLUTIONS FOR PARENTS BATTLING THE CHALLENGES OF REMOTE SCHOOLING.

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he number of memes joking about parents’ new-found appreciation for teachers disguises a real truth: already facing the challenge of their own anxieties in the wake of the coronavirus crisis, many mothers and fathers are battling with the juggle between maintaining their own deadlines and ensuring their children don’t fall behind with schoolwork. Bellavista School’s team of psychologists, therapists and teachers offer this expert advice to help you stay on track.

• Keep a routine as far as possible. We often undervalue the structure and calm that routine brings our lives – so, tempting though it may be to sleep in, you’ll all feel far less anxious if you set a regular wakeup time, shower, dress and brush teeth. Children thrive on routine, and with all the uncertainty and anxiety that surrounds us at the moment, all the more reason to keep a routine.

• Create a conducive workspace for your child. Ideally, this should be in a quiet space

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in the house free from distractions like the TV, with good light and fresh air, and it should be reserved for homework. If you can set this up alongside your own workspace, so much the better – this will allow you to check in on how your child is progressing from time to time.

• Make use of the online resources at your disposal. After all, you’re not a teacher and don’t, therefore, have the requisite skills. Luckily for you, the people who do are just a phone call away – most teachers have made themselves available via Zoom or WhatsApp. And if they haven’t, a YouTube tutorial is just a click away.

• Accept that some rules may have to be relaxed. This isn’t the time to be draconian about screen time, for example – when you’re doing your best to juggle your own work responsibilities with housework and homework, a little extra time on a device may give you an extra hour. What you can do, though, is make your children ‘earn’ those hours; for example, by completing chores or an hour of schooling. And, as always, make sure that the platforms your children are accessing are appropriate.

• Address anxiety. You can be sure that your children have picked up on the stress you’re experiencing, but try to minimise this by limiting their exposure to TV and social media content they won’t understand. Encourage them to voice their concerns so that you can talk through them, and be open and honest about what’s happening, but keep these explanations age appropriate.

Bellavista School is a private remedial school in Johannesburg.

For more information and to access support tools, visit www. bellavistashare.org.za.

Discussing Loss with Your Child F

HILTON-BASED COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST, WENDY CORFE, TALKS TO US ABOUT HOW TO HELP OUR CHILDREN COPE WITH LOSS.

or many of us death is an uncomfortable topic and one from which we would prefer to shield our children. The reality is that most children do experience loss (often of a beloved pet) during childhood. Given this and the impact of the Covid-19 pandemic, it may be useful to think about how to support your child through the grieving process.

Support begins with being honest with your child. If a family member or pet becomes very ill and has to go to hospital, inform your child and answer his/her questions regarding prognosis honestly. This gives your child time emotionally to prepare for the worst. Don’t make promises about outcomes that you cannot keep.

In the event of needing to explain that someone has died, keep language simple and age-appropriate, e.g. that grandpa was very ill and he has died.

This means that his heart stopped working and that his body is still and no longer in pain. If you are religious, you can use your beliefs to further explain where you believe the person’s soul is. Avoid using euphemisms, e.g. “gone to

sleep,” or “Jesus took him,” as these explanations can cause potential anxiety in children about going to sleep or about Jesus.

Involve your child in any rituals or ceremonies to honour the dead person.

Rituals provide closure and there is comfort in being united in grief with friends and family. Encourage your child, if the occasion permits it, to write/dictate a few words about the loved one to be read out with the other tributes. If the deceased is a pet, lighting a candle, saying a few words about the meaning of the animal to the child and saying a prayer can be a helpful way of providing closure. Some children may find it useful to plant a flower or tree in remembrance of the loved one.

Once the initial shock of the loss wears off, your child will need to be able to grieve and this process can take time. As a parent, you provide a model for your child on how to process and deal with grief. Allow your child to see you cry and explain why you are crying, this gives them permission to also cry when they are grieving. Speak about the deceased often. This can be

painful and bitter-sweet at first but it provides a connection to the deceased and shows that it is okay to talk about him/her if needed.

Children sometimes engage in magical thinking when a loved one dies and secretly blame themselves for having caused their death by, for e.g. not saying goodbye or by refusing to give them a hug.

Being able to speak openly about the deceased allows for this magical thinking to be revealed and resolved.

Give your child control over his/her grief. Helping your child to compile a special memory box of items which remind him/her of the loved one can be a beautiful way to remember and feel close to that person when they need to. Contents could be photos, personal items belonging to the loved one like a watch or ring, a small item of clothing smelling of the loved one, a toy given by the deceased – your child will know what needs to go into the box.

Some families also put together photo books of special times with the deceased for which the child writes the story and this can be a wonderful, cathartic healing experience and resource for your child when needed.

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Lockdown Party Ideas HAVE A SPECIAL OCCASION TO CELEBRATE, BUT LOCKDOWN IS DAMPENING YOUR PLANS?

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ear not, here are some great ideas on how to celebrate at home amidst lockdown and social distancing!

A night under the stars Just because hotels and B&Bs are closed doesn’t mean you and your partner can’t celebrate an anniversary with a romantic weekend away. Pitch a tent in the garden, grab some blankets and a few deckchairs and spend the evening stargazing.

Make sure to get up early and deliver a freshly cooked breakfast in bed (sleeping bag) to secure yourself some bonus points.

The best part? A hot shower or bath is just a few metres away – and there’s no chance of a noisy family pitching up alongside.

Zoom dinner party People have been quick of the mark in finding online replacements for their usual social calendar and zoom dinner parties are now all the rage. Cook the same meal as your ‘guests’, dress up and arrange a time to eat it together.

A Children’s birthday bash Trying to explain to young children why a global pandemic means they can’t have the pirate-themed birthday bouncy castle, braai and water fight they’ve been looking forward to for weeks is tough. But you can soften the blow by telling them they’ll have a party unlike anything their friends have ever experienced before. Invite their friends to get dressed up

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and beam into the party via their parents’ smartphones or computers. Then send them scurrying round their respective houses in search of items like summer hats, toothbrushes and slippers on a virtual scavenger hunt. Games like musical statues also work well via video link.

Virtual sleepover Teenage children who are past the days of musical statues could organise their own online sleepover. From spooking each other with ghost stories and playing truth or dare to doing karaoke videos together, you can still have fun even if you’re not snuggled up in the same room. Netflix has its own party option so sleepover guests can throw a movie night together and swoon collectively over their favourite actors.

Source: www.life.spectator.co.uk

Super-Easy Birthday Cake CHILDREN LOVE COLOUR, SO WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN A BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH TWO DIFFERENT COLOURED SPONGES MADE FROM ONE MIXTURE AND A COLOURFUL ICING? • For the pink icing • 150g butter, very soft • 300g icing sugar, sifted • Pink food colouring Method Heat oven to 180°C/160°C fan/gas 4. Butter two 18cm loose-based cake tins and line the bases with baking parchment. Beat the butter and sugar in a mixer or by hand, then add the eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Fold in the flour, milk and vanilla extract until the mixture is smooth.

Divide the mixture between two bowls. Sift the cocoa powder into one of the bowls.

Scrape the vanilla batter into one tin and the chocolate batter into the other and level the tops. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. Cool for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.

To make the icing, beat the butter and add the icing sugar a little at a time, beating each lot in until you have a smooth, creamy icing. Add a little pink colour and beat it in (add more if you want a stronger colour).

Sandwich the two cakes together with icing and spread the rest on top using a palette knife. Will keep in an airtight container for three days.

Source: www.bbcgoodfood.com.

Ingredients • 225g butter, at room temperature • 225g golden caster sugar • 4 large eggs • 225g self-raising flour • 3 tbsp whole milk • 1 tsp vanilla extract • 2 tbsp cocoa powder

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