The Chat
The Chat is a culture-shaping movement which exists to start conversations and impart accurate information around issues like sex, identity, social media and pornography. The
Chat believes that if these issues are left unaddressed, they threaten to derail a generation. The Chat was founded and is led by Christy Herselman, and is overseen by The Table Church in uMdloti. Christy has a background in journalism and teaching. She has written two books and currently divides her time between researching, writing, speaking and being a wife and mom. She lives in uMdloti with her husband Brad and her children Emily, Ryan and Blake. Please contact Christy on info@thechat.co.za or visit www.thechat.co.za for more info C
PROTECT Install filtering and monitoring software. A first vital step is to make sure every device in your home is protected with some kind of software which you monitor. I recommend Safe Surfer (costing around R75/m) which is very easy to install and use and can be adapted to the age or maturity of your child. Filtering software is not 100% safe but very necessary. TALK ABOUT SEX Become a trusted and open source of accurate information about sex. Be a safe, nonjudgemental space for your children to ask questions and process what they see and hear. Teach your children about healthy sexuality. If you don’t tell your children about sex by the age of seven or eight, chances are someone else will. TALK ABOUT PORN If your child has internet access prepare them for what they might see. Explain the highly addictive and damaging
M
nature of porn, contrasting it Y with healthy sex within a loving, committed relationship. LayerCM the conversation as they grow MY and mature, bringing in values CY and science to help them understand the seriousness CMY of the threat to their health K and future. PREPARE It is not a case of if your child sees porn, it’s a case of when. Explain what they should do if they come across something inappropriate: shut it down, walk away and tell a trusted adult. There is a lot of shame around porn exposure and our kids need to know they can come to us for unconditional love and support. Most importantly, stay connected and involved. Children who feel a deep sense of belonging and connection at home are less likely to be drawn into pornography. And lastly, lead by example. Porn is not good for anyone. The safest home is a porn-free home.
*
33
