Bride's Guide January 2015

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Bride’s 2015

G U I D E

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Bride’s Guide 2015

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Bride’s Guide 4

The new wedding seasons

7

Hidden expenses that can sink your wedding budget

8

How to build a wedding registry

10

The guide to choosing groomsmen

11

Wedding invitation and postage tips

13

Cake cutting etiquette and guidelines

14

Grooms cakes make a comeback

16

Creative ways to make a memorable wedding entrance

18

Flowers & Decor

21

Be smart about wedding beauty preparation

23

Music mistakes to avoid

24

Hot trends in wedding cuisine

26

Factors to consider when choosing weding photography

27

How to preserve wedding bouquets and arrangements

28

Everything a wedding guest would ever want to know

Have Your Reception at the

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Cover Photo: Lisa and Tony Borreson Cover photo by Jordana Snyder of Jordana Snyder Photography ©2015 Bride’s Guide is published by the Owatonna People’s Press and Faribault Daily News and printed by Cannon Valley Printing, Northfield, MN. No portion of the advertising or editorial content of the Bride’s Guide may be reproduced without permission of the publisher.

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The NEW

Bride’s Guide 2015

Wedding Seasons

BY LAURA DEPTA CTW FEATURES

Even winter slowly is gaining ground. According to The Knot.com’s 2013 Real Wedummer has long been the dings Study, 7 percent of cougo-to wedding season, but ples got married during the it may be losing its luster. winter months in 2013, up More and more, couples are from 5 percent in 2012. trading in those warm June There are many factors that weekends for the crisp air of have contributed to this shift in autumn or the beautiful lilacs trend, not the least of which are of spring. cost and availability. Over the According to the results of course of summer’s long-standthe 2014 American Wedding ing popularity, venues became Study, the annual survey by more challenging to nail down, BRIDES magazine, May is now and vendors became more the most popular month to get expensive overall. married, having surpassed Lisbeth Levine, co-author of June, which now is tied for sec- “The Wedding Book” (Workond with September and Octo- man Publishing Co., 2008) ber. See SEASONS 5

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SEASONS: Summer weddings may cost more “By having your wedding in April instead of June, you’re warns that a summer wedding much more likely to get will cost you. “There is so your first choice of much competition for 10 weekends, really,” Levine says. photographer and the “You’re not going to have any venue. Having a wedding in room for negotiation. You’re one of the slower seasons going to be paying top dollar lets you get your top for any of the summer weekends.” choices in more categories.”

“People are on such different schedules over the summer,” Levine says. “And I think hotel availability is tight and tends to be higher-priced for guests, depending on location.” Weather always is a factor, too, and different parts of the country have different considerations. Summer can be too hot and humid in some areas Levine also points out that and beautiful in others. Spring couples generally have to start — Lisbeth Levine, co-author of can be cool and lovely, or it “The Wedding Book could bring those pesky April planning summer weddings much farther in advance to get showers. what they want in terms of Levine. “Having a wedding in Some couples simply prefer venue, florist, photography one of the slower seasons lets particular themes that go with and catering. In addition to the you get your top choices in other seasons – the pastels of cost savings, sometimes an off- more categories.” spring or the deep hues of fall, season wedding can mean betAdditionally, couples have for example. ter vendor availability. to think about their guests and Caili Helsper of Caili “By having your wedding in bridal parties. It’s important to Helsper Photography in ChiApril instead of June, you’re choose a time when the most cago, says that May is her busimuch more likely to get your people are likely to be available est month, followed closely by first choice of photographer and when hotels and travel September and October. And and the venue,” explains won’t cost a fortune. although spring is busy,

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Helsper says that spring weddings are her favorite. “Everything is starting to get colorful but still has that softness to it,” Helsper says. “I tend to like muted tones and soft colors. The combination of soft, flowering trees and beige grasses turning green is my favorite backdrop for portraits.” The winter, although the weather can be dicey, does offer fantastic possibilities for theme weddings. “Winter weddings are not for the faint of heart, but they pay off every time,” Helsper says. “Some of my favorite bride and groom portraits have been taken in the middle of a light snowstorm.” But perhaps the biggest “new” season is fall. Tonya Evans, owner of Occasional See SEASONS 6

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Bride’s Guide 2015

“WE WON’T JUST RENT YOU A TUX”

SEASONS: Fall floral schemes very popular From 5 Flowers in Herndon, Virginia, says that her bookings absolutely have indicated a change in seasonal preference. “October has become huge,” says Evans. “I think the advantage to the fall is hopefully you can still have that outdoor wedding. There’s a lot of the foliage around here that’s changing that makes for a really beautiful outdoor wedding.” According to Evans, many fall floral themes are very popular, too. She says flowers like dahlias and ranunculus are extremely in demand, and they’re easily accessible in the fall. She also has noticed a general shift in aesthetic trends in the industry in general. “I don’t just see it around me. You look in wedding magazines and you see all these weddings that have all this

birch and burlap, and it’s a rustic barn or an outdoor vineyard, and it just seems like it lends itself to that time of the year,” Evans says. Budget, vendor availability and seasonal themes all play a role in the decision of when to get married. But perhaps most important is a general desire of couples to really make their wedding unique and reflective of their style. “I think that a lot of couples are looking at wedding planning as an opportunity to share with their guests what makes them unique, and that includes the time of year that they wed,” Helsper. says “Just as your invites and florals help tell your story, I think that the season sets the tone for all the details to fall in line.” CTW FEATURES

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Bride’s Guide 2015

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Hidden expenses that can sink your wedding

BUDGET I

n the days of yore, the responsibility of paying for a wedding fell to the bride’s parents. But that tradition has largely fallen by the wayside in recent years, when more and more couples have used their own savings to finance their weddings. Few couples enter the process of planning their weddings unaware of just how expensive weddings can get, but costs can easily begin to escalate if couples are not careful. Couples know that certain wedding expenses, such as the cost of booking a reception hall, will eat up a large portion of their budgets. But there are some hidden expenses that couples must build into their budgets to avoid finding themselves in debt as they walk down the aisle as husband and wife. • Taxes: Sales tax might not seem so significant when you’re buying everyday items, but the taxes add up quickly when paying for a wedding. Depending on where you live, state and local sales tax can exceed 9 percent in the United States, and some Canadians pay as much as 15 percent in combined sales taxes depending on where they live. Before signing contracts with any vendors, couples should get the price including sales tax written into their contracts, as failing to do so may result in a several thousand dollar surprise when the time to

pay up arrives. • Gratuities: Gratuities are another potentially hefty expense that often takes engaged couples by surprise as they start to plan their weddings. Some reception halls build gratuities for staff into their estimates, and these tips for the staff can be as high as 25 percent at some venues. But even if gratuities for reception hall staff are already accounted for, don’t forget to include tips for additional vendors the day of the wedding. Couples may be expected to tip the florist, photographer, band or deejay and even the reception hall maitre d’ if his or her gratuity is not included in the aforementioned staff tip. Brides-to-be typically tip their hairstylist and makeup artist on the day of the wedding as well. • Postage: Couples who plan to invite guests via email or online invitations can skirt the cost of postage. But many couples still prefer traditional paper invitations, which include return envelopes that tradition suggests should also be stamped. Save-thedate cards have grown in popularity as well, and these cards must also be stamped and mailed. Depending on the size of your guest list, postage can cost several hundred dollars before you mail your last invitation. And don’t forget to save some money for postage to mail thank-you cards once the big day has come and gone.

• Overtime: Overtime fees for reception hall staff and additional outside vendors are typically written into contracts, but few couples imagine needing more than the predetermined allotment of time noted in their contracts. But it’s better to be safe than sorry, as unanticipated events such as a misplaced wedding license or heavy traffic on the way to the venue can force the party to start late and thus extend

past its deadline. Set aside some money for overtime so you don’t find yourselves scrounging for dollars or charging the extra few hundred dollars on your credit cards. Weddings are expensive, and even more so when hidden fees start to make their presence felt. Couples who build such fees into their budgets will find it easier to avoid breaking the bank than those who don’t.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

How to build a wedding REGISTRY M

any once-popular wedding traditions have fallen by the wayside. But one wedding tradition that has withstood the test of time is the wedding registry. Couples about to tie the knot still build a wedding registry so their guests know what to buy them as wedding gifts. This saves guests the trouble of agonizing over what to buy the couple getting hitched and also ensures that couples won’t receive two or more of the same item. Building a registry can be fun, as couples can act like kids in a candy store and add items they might otherwise not be able to afford. But

there is a method to building a registry that can ensure the process of giving and receiving gifts is comfortable and convenient for everyone involved. • Choose a national chain. Many stores will allow couples to establish a registry, but it behooves couples to choose a national chain or chains for their registry. A local boutique store might sell several items you would love to have, but that store may only be accessible to guests who live nearby, and such stores may be more expensive than larger national chains that can afford to charge See REGISTRY 9

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REGISTRY: Choose more than one store From 8 less for similar products. Choosing a national chain ensures all of your guests will be able to access and purchase a gift from your registry, and make those purchases without breaking the bank. • Choose a store with an online presence. When choosing a store for your registry, it also helps to choose a store with an online presence that’s user-friendly. Ideally, pick an online retailer you have already had positive experiences with. This not only will make it easier for your guests, but also for you should you decide to return items down the road. • Choose more than one store. You also want to choose more than one store when

building a registry. Some guests will prefer to shop instore rather than online, so you want to give them some options so they don’t have to drive far and wide to find the lone brick and mortar store for your registry. • Visit the stores and do your homework. Though some stores allow you to develop a registry entirely online, it still helps for couples to visit the store together and build their registries in the more traditional way. Visiting a store as opposed to browsing the store website allows you to touch and feel products, which can give you a more accurate idea of their quality. In addition to seeing the products in person, read online reviews of products

before putting them on your registry so you can ensure you’re getting quality items. • Choose items that vary in price. Many couples are sheepish about putting expensive items on their registries. That’s not surprising, as the cost of attending a wedding, especially one that features lots of out-of-town guests, can be substantial. But some guests, such as the bride and groom’s parents and siblings, may want to give a more high-end gift, so don’t be afraid to include items in a range of prices, from the inexpensive to the more costly, on your registry. • Don’t abandon the registry after your big day. You won’t end up getting

everything you include on your registry, but that doesn’t mean you should just forget about those items that never made their way into your home. Many retailers offer couples significant discounts on items from their registries that were never purchased, and those discounts may extend for as long as a year after the big day. Revisit your registry after the wedding to see if you can find great deals on those items you never received, and continue to do so until the registry expires. Building a registry can be a fun activity for couples about to tie the knot. But there are some guidelines to follow to make the process go smoothly for guests and couples alike.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

The guide to choosing

GROOMSMEN G rooms-to-be face many decisions regarding their pending nuptials, but few may prove as delicate as choosing the groomsmen for the big day. Friends who expect to be groomsmen may be disappointed if they are not ultimately chosen, while brothers may feel left out if they are not asked to walk a bridesmaid up the aisle. Choosing groomsmen should not be taken lightly. Grooms-to-be who are facing some difficult choices with regard to that decision can follow a few pointers to ensure they make the right call. • Pick a number. Before you even consider who you want your groomsmen to be, speak to your fiancée about how many bridesmaids she hopes to have. The number of groomsmen and bridesmaids typically matches, so your fiancée’s intentions may make your decision a lot easier. For example, if you have two brothers and several friends you’re considering, but your fiancée only intends to have a maid of honor and one bridesmaid, then you can just ask both of your brothers to serve as groomsmen. Friends are unlikely be offended if family members get the nod ahead of them, so discuss numbers with your fiancée before you begin trimming your list of candidates. If you already have an idea of who you want to be your groomsmen but your choices outnumber your fiancée’s, see if she has anyone else she can add to her party so no one is left out.

• Choose the best man for the job. Many grooms pick a brother to serve as their best man, and while that’s a nice sentiment, it’s important that grooms recognize that being a best man carries with it some responsibility. A best man will organize the bachelor party, give a toast at the wedding and handle any post-wedding duties, such as returning the tuxes or arranging for the newlyweds’ transportation to the airport. If your brother is already incredibly busy or if you doubt he is up to the task of being a best man, then you might be better off asking him to be a groomsman and finding another best man who’s more capable of juggling the numerous responsibilities that come with being best man. • Don’t forget your fiancée’s family. While you should not feel pressured to pick anyone in particular as your best man, if your fiancée has any brothers, ask her if she had her heart set on including any of them in the bridal party. Some brides want their brothers to be groomsmen, so discuss this with your fiancée before asking anyone to line up beside you. This discussion can go both ways as well, as you can ask your bride-to-be to include a favorite sister in her bridal party if you so desire. • Confirm their availability. When asking friends or family members to be groomsmen, it’s best to ensure they can actually make it to the ceremony. This is a concern for grooms who are planning a destination wedding or those getting married in

their fiancée’s hometown and not their own, as some guests, including potential groomsmen, may not be able to afford to attend an overseas or faraway ceremony. When asking, explain the situation to them, and let them know you fully understand if they cannot commit to being a groomsmen due to travel or financial concerns. Confirm their availability as soon as possible, as you

don’t want to be down one groomsman come your big day. For those who you want to be a groomsmen but are unable to make it, it can be a nice gesture to buy them a groomsmen gift as a token of your appreciation for their friendship. Many grooms face difficult decisions when choosing their groomsmen. But there are ways to make such decisions a lot easier than they may seem.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

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Wedding invitation and postage tips W

hether a couple is planning a lavish wedding or a more low key affair, the wedding invitations are an essential part of keeping guests informed about the big day. While couples can now share details of their wedding through email or even digital invitations, many still prefer to go the traditional route and send paper invitations. In addition to the cost of the invitations themselves, couples need to factor postage into their wedding budgets. It may not seem like much, but the cost of postage can add up quickly. The following are a few postage pointers for couples about to tie the knot. • Choose envelopes wisely. The size of your envelopes contributes to the cost of the postage necessary to mail your invitations. Postal services have specific size and shape parameters that govern postage. Envelopes that are oddly shaped or fall outside of these strict measurements are usually susceptible to additional postage charges. That’s because the envelope cannot run through standard sorting machinery and must be hand-processed. • Consider the weight. Mailings that exceed one ounce will require additional postage, even if they are in standard envelopes. Invitations, with their various components and thick card stock, typically weigh more than one ounce. Never purchase postage in advance, as you will not

know what the completed invitation costs prior to mailing. Always weigh the invitation with all inserts included to get an accurate estimate of postage. Then purchase stamps accordingly. • Get to know your local postal employee. Many postal employees, especially those who work at the smaller branches, grow accustomed to seeing the same customers over and over. They can be very helpful and good resources when it comes to saving money on postage. Strike up a conversation with the person behind the counter and ask advice on the best way to mail invitations and ensure they arrive looking beautiful. Choose an off-peak time so the postal employee can give you his or her full attention and will not feel rushed by a line forming behind you. The employee may suggest hand-canceling envelopes, which means the invitation will be processed by hand rather than run through machinery to avoid damage. • Stamp the return envelope. Invitations typically include response cards that guests will send back to confirm if they will be attending the festivities. To facilitate the RSVP process, stamp the response card. • Prep invitations six to eight weeks in advance. Invitations should be mailed nearly two months prior to the wedding. This allows guests to plan and respond accordingly. • Double-check envelopes before sending. Ensure that

postage is sticking well and that envelopes are wellsealed. In addition, verify that you have the most current to resolve any issues. addresses for recipients. If • Consider custom postage. invitations get returned to The post office should carry sender, they can cost you even more time and money See INVITATIONS 12

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Bride’s Guide 2015

INVITATION: Make sure to have proper postage From 11 several attractive options for wedding invitation stamps. However, you also may be able to go online and purchase custom postage that features a graphic or an uploaded image to make the invitations even more special. • Do a test run. You may want to send a complete invitation to yourself just to see how it arrives in the mail. This way you can check the level of damage and have an opportunity to make any changes, such as adding a piece of vellum to prevent ink from smudging or to place bows or adornments in another area.

• Give your mail carrier a heads-up. Let your assigned mail carrier know that response cards will be on the way. They tend to be small and can get lost in among other letters and mail. A small token of gratitude, such as a gift card, for your mail carrier may ensure all of your response cards arrive. A wedding just isn’t the same without the guests. Make sure friends and family are well informed about the wedding by sending out invitations in advance and ensuring the proper postage will get those invites where they need to go.

Did you know?

T

here are various theories as to the origin of the word “honeymoon.” One such theory suggests the word traces its origins to the Old English phrase “hony moone,” which suggests the honeymoon was initially steeped in cynicism. “Hony” is a reference to honey and, the theory suggests, refers to the strong feelings of affection and sweetness newly married couples harbor and display for each other. However, “moone” is a reference to how fleeting this period of time is and how it is likely to change as quickly as the moon changes. One rosier theory as to the origin of the word “honeymoon” suggests the word dates back to the fifth century, when calendars were based on the moon cycle. During this period, newly married couples drank mead (which accounts for the “honey”) throughout their first month of marriage (or for a full cycle of the moon), as mead was a beverage many believed to be an aphrodisiac.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

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CAKE cutting

etiquette and guidelines T

he presentation of the wedding cake marks the culmination of the day’s festivities and a final symbol of a happy couple’s new partnership. Many people eagerly await the cake as much as they may anticipate catching a glimpse of the bride in her beautiful gown. While the cake in all its finery can be a beautiful sight to behold, a cake can only last so long before its fate as a delicious dessert is sealed. As is the case with many wedding traditions, there is some established etiquette with regard to cutting and

serving wedding cake. If you plan on putting your cake on display, be sure it is made with a frosting and filling that can endure room temperature. Certain creams may sour if not refrigerated, and you do not want anyone becoming ill. If you have your heart set on perishable fillings, keep the cake refrigerated and then have the big reveal right before it is cut. The cake cutting usually comes near the end of the wedding reception. Schedule the cutting so that older guests or young children can

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leave without feeling as if they would be offending anyone. The emcee of the evening typically announces the cake cutting, and the band may play a quirky tune or revisit the wedding song while the first slice is being cut. A bride should hold the cake knife with her right hand, while the groom places

his right hand over hers before they proceed to slice down together. If the cake has a foam or cardboard support, be careful not to cut through it. Use a cake server to grab the first piece. Traditionally the newly betrothed will feed each other a bite of the cake to symbolize See CAKE 15

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Bride’s Guide 2015

GROOMS

cakes make a comeback

G

uests and wellwishers expect to see at least one cake at wedding receptions. But wedding guests should not be surprised if they attend a wedding and notice two cakes sharing the spotlight on the dessert table. Groom’s cakes have existed for generations but have fallen out of favor in many parts of North America since the 1970s. Now groom’s cakes are experiencing a resurgence in popularity. A groom’s cake traditionally represents something masculine, providing a contrast to the oft-feminine features, such as floral bouquets and frilly gowns, that dominate many weddings. Groom’s cake designs often reflect a particular hobby or interest of the groom’s. Historically, groom’s cakes are chocolate, a sharp contrast to traditional wedding cakes, which tend to be vanilla and white. Tradition once called for single women at the wedding to take home a slice of the groom’s cake to sleep with under their pillows. It was believed the cake would help them have sweet dreams of the man they would eventually marry. Women today are likely no longer snuggling up to fondant and mousse cake

slices at night, and wedding cakes are no longer relegated to vanilla cake with vanilla icing, which may account for the waning popularity of groom’s cakes. Yet with wedding cake bakers showing off their creative prowess on television or through their own artistic bakery displays, it’s no wonder that couples looking for something unique are once again embracing the tradition of groom’s cakes. Couples who are mulling whether or not to add a groom’s cake to their menus should consider the following tips. • Make sure it is highly personal. Groom’s cakes typically reference hobbies, affiliations or interests of the groom. Some men may want their cake to showcase the logo of their favorite professional sports team, while others may want a cake inspired by a favorite superhero. • Involve the groom in the process. Despite the name, groom’s cakes may not always involve the groom. A cake may be designed or selected by the groom’s bride-to-be or his mother. Some forwardthinking brides may want to encourage their grooms-to-be to select their own cakes and offer input on their designs. • Find a bakery that has experience in whimsical

A number of couples are bringing back the tradition of a groom’s cake at their wedding celebrations.

cakes. Groom’s cakes are very often intricate structures and sculptures. The groom’s cake may be more labor-intensive than the traditional wedding cake, so couples may want to shop around for a cake chef with the experience to pull off the design they desire. • Experiment with flavor combinations. Because the groom’s cake is all about that special guy, the flavor of the cake should be centered around what he would enjoy. The sky is the limit on flavors and can include traditional chocolate, candy bar-inspired flavors, coffee, coconut, or even a bacon-infused cake. • Consider serving the groom’s cake at the rehearsal. Some couples prefer to serve the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner rather than having two cakes at the wedding. Guests may not be able to fit two slices of cake after a large wedding meal, so serving the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner may be the best of both worlds.

The bride — and her cake — typically steal the show at the average wedding. Therefore, a groom’s cake can be a special touch that allows the groom to bask in his own weddingday spotlight.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Page 15

Did you know? T

CAKE: Have a cake that will feed all your guests From 13 their first meal as a couple. Couples can feed each other a small amount, taking care not to spill any. Many couples no longer embrace the once-popular tradition of smashing cake in each other’s faces, but whether or not couples follow this tradition is up to them. Some couples like to serve their parents a piece of cake. Traditionally the bride should serve the groom’s parents and the groom the bride’s parents. If there is a groom’s cake, guests may prefer a slice of both cakes. Guests may also want to take home a slice of the groom’s cake. Tradition states that a piece of the groom’s cake should be presented to an unmarried woman attending the wedding. The woman is not expected to eat the cake, but rather to put it under her pillow. Superstition

held that this tradition would help an unmarried woman find a husband. Make arrangements for proper packaging of the groom’s cake, so guests can take home a slice if they so desire. The waitstaff typically handles the slicing of the cake. The uppermost tier is reserved for the couple to save, and the remainder of the cake will be served. Recognize that not all guests like cake, but it’s better to err on the side of caution and have a cake that will feed all of the guests. You also may want to offer a dessert bar for guests who prefer another type of sweet treat. However, this is a luxury, not a necessity. The cake-cutting ritual at weddings has withstood the test of time, and many couples still prefer to present the cake with fanfare and excitement.

he timing of when a couple cuts the wedding cake can have a specific meaning. Long ago, the cake was usually cut at the very end of the reception and would signal to the guests that it was the end of the festivities. Today, cutting the cake is an unspoken signal that represents that the formal wedding is nearing a close, and guests who would like to leave can do so without worry of being rude. Many couples will cut the cake right after dinner as a courtesy to older guests who may want to get started on their trips home. This affords them the chance to make an earlier exit, rather than staying through the dancing that could extend into the wee hours of the night or missing the cake entirely. Cutting the cake mid-reception also serves another practical purpose for couples who are paying a photographer by the hour. Photographers typically go home after the cake-cutting, so a mid-reception cutting can save couples a substantial amount of money.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Creative ways to make a memorable wedding ENTRANCE O

nce wedding vows and rings have been exchanged, many couples join their friends and family to celebrate with a wedding reception. Many brides and grooms eagerly await the moment when they can make their grand entrance to the reception, and over the years it has become customary for couples to make a bit of a splash when making

their first appearance as husband and wife. Some enter with a special song. Others prefer something a bit more theatrical. Explore these ideas for memorable wedding reception entrances. • Catch guests by surprise. Wedding guests will probably expect the wedding party to enter through a certain door and the bride and groom to follow afterward. An

element of surprise, such as the couple rising from the floor or appearing from a different area in the reception hall, may not require a lot of planning but can have a dramatic effect. Unpredictable entrances also include unexpected song choices or dramatic lighting to immediately draw everyone’s attention. • Stick to one or two

songs. Some couples think it might be fun to have each member of the wedding party enter with a different song. Not only will this take a lot of coordination on the part of the deejay, but it can make the entrance choppy as well. Introductions may go more smoothly if couples have the entire wedding party enter to a particular song See ENTRANCE 17

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Page 17

ENTRANCE: Include entrance in your planning From 16 that revs up the crowd and gets them excited for the grand entrance. At the height of the song, the bride and groom will enter. The entrance typically segues into a couple’s first dance. • Go with people’s strengths. A couple may want to showcase special skills as they enter the reception hall. There’s no limit to what couples can do, from acrobatic techniques to tap dancing to juggling. If it’s entertaining, it very well may prove memorable.

• Make sure everyone is on board. Couples should recognize that some members of the wedding party may be uncomfortable acting like clowns in front of a crowd. Do not force anyone to participate in crazy antics if they do not want to. Find things each member of a wedding party feels comfortable doing. Couples may want their bridal party members to enter in a more traditional way before the newlyweds do something more dramatic and humorous. • Include the entrance

in your planning. If you want to follow a certain theme, such as “Star Wars” or “Mission Impossible,” coordinate in advance with a deejay or band members. Talk about what, if any, props you plan to use and the type of music that will be playing. If entrances involve choreography, be certain to practice in advance of the wedding so everything will work out well and look professional. However, even stunts that go awry can be entertaining and funny for guests. • Low-key entrances are

acceptable, too. Couples who aren’t into much fanfare should not feel pressured to make an entrance with a dance routine or to have any stunning visual effects. If you want a low-key introduction, arrange for such an entrance with the emcee. Wedding entrances are what a couple makes of them, and they can run the gamut from traditional introductions to theatrical skits and dance routines.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Flowers & DECOR BY CATHY CASSATA CTW FEATURES

igan. “But it’s also a good idea to make the head table a little more dressed up than, the he oldest trick for savguest tables since it’s the focal ing money on your point of the party.” wedding flowers and By focusing on the head décor is to make blooms play table, and incorporating simdouble-duty for both the ple yet still stylish centerpieces reception and the party. and table décor for the rest of Well, it’s time for some new the room, you can create a tricks. wedding that perfectly suits “Most couples have heard you – and your budget. Here’s that they should bring ceremo- how. ny flowers and ribbons to the reception to place on the head THINK THROUGH YOUR table,” says Jessica Swagman, FLOWERS owner of JS Weddings and Since you’re most likely planEvents in Grand Rapids, MichSee DECOR 19

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From 18 ning your wedding during a different season than it will take place, floral designer Susan Tom-Nellis, owner of Peony & Plum Floral Design in Los Angeles, says research which flowers will be in season at the time of your wedding to avoid paying top dollar. Plus, if you’re having an outdoor wedding, think about how flowers will hold up by the time you get to the reception. “Just because you see something on Pinterest or online doesn’t mean it will be good for your wedding venue or the time of year you’re getting married,” Tom-Nellis notes. Swagman suggests purchasing flowers from a wholesaler to save, in addition to replac-

ing some centerpiece flowers with other natural elements. “Greenery is inexpensive and adds more to the table than bouquets and vases. I always suggest a table runner of greenery on the head table; it doesn’t have to go the whole table length, maybe just along the bride and groom,” she says. “Adding branches is stylish, too, as well as inexpensive. Olive branches are massive, so you can get so much out of one single stem of a branch. Eucalyptus also makes a big statement.” Tom-Nellis adds that mercury glass, candles, lanterns, tree logs or beds of grass or flowers instead of traditional centerpieces can save money and add personality.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

DECOR: Don't make all the tables the same From 19

tables like a tree or another elegant element,” she says. BUILD AROUND THE CENTERPIECE While centerpieces are often thought of as the item on guest tables, Swagman says the details around it can stand out. “Menus are a really fun way to make an impact on the guest tables. You can create an envelope with the napkin and place the menu inside it, tuck a flower next to it, and then place the whole thing on the place setting,” she says. If you’re skipping menus, adding embellishments such as ribbons, bracelets and brooches to the napkins or getting creative with place cards are other options. “We’ve even seen some chocolate place cards that were a hit,” Lopez says. Get the favors in on the charm, too. “Putting them on the table rather off to the side adds another décor element. You’re kind of getting two for one,” Swagman says. CHARM WITH CHAIRS Seating the bride and groom in higher-end chairs or ones with a higher back is sure to grab attention. “You can also do the same for the entire head table to set them apart from other guests,” Lopez notes. Sticking with standard chairs decorated with sashes and other embellishments from the ceremony may be a less expensive option, too. “One wedding we worked on, we had monogrammed chairbacks that were placed along the ceremony isle and then we put them all around the head table chairs for the reception to not only get use out of them again, but to add that extra personalization,” says Lopez. MIX IT UP If there’s a flower or particular

décor you just can’t do without, Lopez suggests incorporating it into some areas, but not others. Not only will you get what you want, but you’ll also make an impression on guests. “We recommend not making every table the same so that when guests walk into the space they see different heights and styles on the tables,” she says. Lopez usually mixes in three to five different styles. For instance, setting the head table with a contrasting colored linen or one with a different fabric than the rest of the tables can set it apart and help with cost. “We might put a real expensive linen on the head table to add texture and then put less expensive linens on guest tables. They’ll complement each other, so you really notice the difference in colors and texture,” explains Lopez, noting that you can vary linens throughout all the tables for impact. Same is true with flowers. “To cut the cost of flowers, we might add tall wrought iron chandeliers with flowers around the base on some tables and large pillar candles in hurricanes with flowers in a wreath around the glass on other tables,” explains Lopez. Tom-Nellis says contrasting

the entire color scheme of the ceremony from the reception can make a big impact. “We might have all white flowers or lighter tones and décor at ceremony and go with colorful décor at the reception, or vice versa. It sets the two apart,” she says.

LOOK UP! Give your guests a break from table décor by drawing their attention to the ceiling. “Some couples put a majority of their décor budget into the ceiling so that guests are wowed as soon as they walk into the venue,” says Lopez. Besides chandeliers, try hanging lanterns, fabric designs, glass globes, frames or flowers, she says. Tom-Nellis warns that hanging décor can be difficult and costly to install and suggests selecting certain speciality tables to hang things above, like the head table, gift table, dessert table and cake table. No matter your taste or budget, with a little preparation you can create the wedding atmosphere of your dreams. CTW FEATURES

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Page 21

Be smart about wedding BEAUTY preparation A

ll eyes are on the bride and groom on their wedding day. Feeling beautiful and dapper can boost a couple’s confidence and ensure they look back on their wedding photographs and videos with pride. Certain beauty basics and makeup and hair strategies can help any bride look spectacular on her wedding day. The following are some dos and don’ts of wedding day beauty preparations. DO employ the services of a professional hairstylist and makeup artist. Professionals have the experience and tools of the trade to help you to look your best. From

contouring to make your face seem slimmer to enlarging the appearance of small eyes, some tricks of the trade are best left to the pros. DON’T forget to schedule a trial run. Make this appointment several months before the wedding day so you have ample time to work with your stylists and experiment with colors and hair arrangements to fit your personality and the style of your gown. Take plenty of pictures and notes so you will remember what needs to be on hand for the wedding day. DO allot enough time for the wedding day beauty

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Bride’s Guide 2015

BEAUTY: Do's and don'ts that should be followed From 21

appointment. If you will be going to a salon, block out two or more slots instead of one. This way the stylist does not overbook and will not feel rushed. Many brides opt to have stylists come to their homes. There may be an extra charge for this service, but it may be well worth the cost.

DON’T tweeze or wax brows too close to the start of the ceremony. Redness and swelling are common side effects of tweezing and waxing, and they can be difficult to mask with makeup. Instead, take care of hair removal a day or two prior to the wedding.

DON’T make any drastic changes to your appearance right before the wedding. This includes changing your hair color or texture, extreme tanning, using colored contact lenses, or chopping off all of your hair. It’s better to wait until after the wedding to change your style.

DO exfoliate your skin prior to the wedding. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should endure a harsh fruit acid peel or another procedure. You can exfoliate with a gentle washing of your skin with a nubby washcloth to remove any dryness and errant flakes. Moisturize well to ensure a smooth palette for makeup application.

DO bring a veil, headpiece, hair extensions, and any other accessories to your hair consult. This enables the stylist to practice working with these items.

DON’T wash or condition hair the day of the wedding. Intricate styles tend to stay better when hair has a little grip. “Dirty” hair is easier to work with than shiny, freshly

washed locks. If you must can draw more attention to wash, remember to thoroughly problem areas than remedy dry your hair before going to them. your appointment. DO bring a pain relief DO wear a little extra medication in case a tight makeup than you are hairstyle or headpiece causes a accustomed to wearing headache. because it will show up better DON’T forget that men in photos. However, do not need a little help as well. wear so much that you look Exfoliation and moisturization clownish. A makeup artist can help dry skin. Guys should can help you achieve the right use a new razor and plenty balance. of cream before shaving to DON’T have bridesmaids avoid irritation. A dusting of wear makeup that is bolder finishing powder can banish than yours, especially red lips. shiny noses and foreheads for No one should upstage the photo-ready faces. bride. Chances are more DO experiment with any photographs will be taken of a products you haven’t used newlywed couple than at any before to test for allergic other moment in their lives. reactions and see how well they Certain beauty dos and don’ts wear. should be followed so couples put their best faces forward. DON’T wear too much under-eye concealer or one that is too light of a shade. This

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Page 23

MUSIC

mistakes to avoid W

edding guests are usually anxious to head to the reception, where they can let loose and party. Music is an essential component of a lively and fun wedding reception, and there are some musical miscues couples should look to avoid to ensure the music is not memorable for all the wrong reasons. • Blocks of silence: Nothing makes time seem interminable more than silence. Always have a constant flow of music to avoid awkward silences. This includes the time guests are waiting prior to the ceremony as well as when they’re entering the cocktail hour. Music will help everyone feel comfortable, and it creates a pleasing atmosphere, so make sure music plays throughout the festivities. • Second-guessing a professional: In an effort to curb costs, some couples provide their own playlists via an mp3 player or a streaming service for the music. This is often a mistake. Hiring a professional means you will not have to worry about managing music on top of

your many other wedding day responsibilities. A band or deejay usually also serves as the emcee for the event, announcing key moments of the reception as well as getting guests up on the dance floor. • Playing only one type of music: Playing too many songs from one genre of music will alienate some of the guests who simply are not interested in that type of music. Professional deejays or performers know how to offer a great mix that will appeal to the masses, and they are often well worth the cost. Try to span different decades and genres to keep as many of your guests on the dance floor as possible. • Failure to make a song list: Some songs you may feel are essential to the wedding and others may be on a do-not-play list and are associated with negative memories. Band leaders and deejays are not mind readers. Give your band leader or deejay ample time to review your requests so that he or she has time to find a song that may not be in his or her collection. • Dancing to long songs: Pay attention to a song’s length, and choose spotlight dance songs wisely. Remember that guests will be watching you dance with parents or each other, and a five-minute song can seem never-ending while others are waiting around. Avoid very long songs, as the mix

Steering clear of wedding music mistakes means couples have a greater likelihood of throwing spectacular parties.

of music should be upbeat. The wedding isn’t the time to play “American Pie” by Don McClean, Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” or Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.” • Inappropriate lyrics and volume: Keep the music at an acceptable volume, and avoid songs with suggestive

language or curse words that are inappropriate in a family setting. Music is a key element of any good party, including a wedding reception, and it’s essential that couples take steps to avoid any musical miscues.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Hot trends in wedding CUISINE O

nce a couple has officially tied the knot, the newly recognized man and wife and all of their guests will retire to a party room where they can mingle, dance and enjoy a good meal. In the past, standard fare like prime rib and roasted chicken dominated wedding menus. But today’s weddings cater to people of various culinary tastes, and couples and their guests can expect more upscale and creative cuisine to be rolled out for wedding receptions. The following are a handful of the

more popular trends with regard to wedding cuisine. Miniature bites Many people say good things come in small packages, and when it comes to miniature versions of favorite foods, they may be right. Instead of large meals that fill guests up fast, they can munch on smaller bites of their favorite dishes. How about a piece of meatloaf topped with whipped mashed potatoes? A cherry tomato with a small piece of mozzarella cheese makes a mini caprese salad. Turning

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Page 25

CUISINE: Couples are getting creative with their food From 24 favorite foods into bite-sized adventures can add a touch of whimsy to the reception. Breakfast for dinner Some couples are circumventing high price tags for their weddings by choosing to hold the festivities at less expensive times of day. Brunch-themed weddings are a big hit with those who would much rather dine on a stack of pancakes than a dish of pasta. Omelet stations, croissants and a bevy of other breakfast table fare can be enjoyed any time of the day. Dim sum Dim sum allows guests to sample different foods without filling up. Carts of dumplings and other small plates of appetizers can be wheeled around so everyone can choose what they want and what they want to avoid. Gourmet comfort food People love familiar comfort foods, but now gourmet comfort foods are shaking up wedding receptions. Mac-andcheese with gouda and brie or chicken pot pie with a puff-pastry crust are a few offerings that can add glamour to down-home cooking.

Food with a show Instead of passed foods or buffet stations, couples are opting to make food an experience for guests. An oyster bar with a chef serving fresh seafood or a dessert master whipping up flambé is a feast for the eyes and mouth. Interesting buffet stations Keep guests on their toes with various meal stations. A bountiful display of artisanal cheeses, fruits and breads will be a cheese lover’s dream. These stations also can be appetizing focal points around the room and ensure all guests get a bite of what they like best. Family style Rustic and informal weddings have grown in popularity. Rather than food being brought to the guests or participants lining up in buffet lines, familystyle dining allows guests to share conversation and

pass the peas at the same time. Larger, rectangular tables allow more guests to sit with one another and serve themselves food from community plates located in the center of the tables. Food and beverage pairings Food-forward wedding couples are offering guests mouthwatering appetizers matched with a cocktail. A slider and a craft beer or a dumpling and a shot of saki are examples of this trend. Nontraditional ‘fake’ cakes Instead of a multi-tiered cake or the cupcake fad that is starting to fizzle, couples are now opting for something new. Desserts that mimic the look of cake, but aren’t quite that combination of sponge and frosting are trending. Crepes, pies, cookies, and doughnuts are acceptable and

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can add a creative spark to the cake-cutting ceremony. When offered along with dessert stations, guests can certainly get their fill of sweet delights. Vegan and gluten-free options Chances are one or more people attending the reception will be on a restricted diet. Rather than relegate these guests to dining on side dishes and patchwork meals, certain couples are building entire offerings around vegan and gluten-free foods. Couples are getting creative with their food and beverage offerings at their weddings. Guests never know which culinary wonders they will encounter as they gather to wish the newlyweds well.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Factors to consider when choosing wedding PHOTOGRAPHY

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ouples must make a host of important decisions when planning their weddings. Some decisions, such as choosing a venue to host the reception, require more effort and research on the part of couples than others. One decision that couples must make carefully concerns the photography package they choose for their ceremonies and receptions. Wedding photographers play a big role on a couple’s big day, and it’s important that men and women about to tie the knot consider a host of factors before choosing the men or women they will ultimately task with visually documenting their wedding days. • Engagement photo shoot: Couples who want to do an engagement photo shoot may want to negotiate such a shoot into their photography package. Some agencies include engagement shoots in their packages while others do not. If the engagement photo shoot is on your list of needs, then look for an agency that provides such services as part of its packages or agencies willing to include the engagement photo shoot for free or for an added fee. • Party size: The number of people on the guest list should factor into your choice of wedding photographer. If your guest list is especially large, then you might want to consider hiring two or more

photographers to document the day. Many agencies offer separate packages for couples who want one photographer and couples who prefer two or more photographers, so it pays to examine the price differences between such packages to see if more than one photographer can fit into your budget. Couples with relatively small guests lists can typically get by with just a single photographer to document their ceremonies and receptions. • Travel: When discussing a wedding photography package, ask how much travel is included in the package. This is important for couples whose ceremonies are in a separate location from their receptions. If the distance between the ceremony site and the reception venue is considerable, you may have to pay extra for the photographer to travel between both sites. While a reasonable amount of travel is typically included in a photography package, it’s best that you confirm this prior to signing an agreement. • Videography: Many photography agencies also offer videography services in some of their wedding packages. Videography can be a great way for couples to document their wedding days, and it can be fun for couples to watch their wedding videos with their families down the road.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Page 27

How to preserve wedding BOUQUETS

and arrangements

A

bride’s gown may garner its share of attention come her wedding day, but floral arrangements also tend to impress guests. Fresh flowers make a wedding and the ensuing reception more inviting and appealing. According to The Knot. com, couples can expect to spend 8 percent of their wedding budget on flowers. For the average wedding, that equates to roughly $2,000 for various arrangements and bouquets. That can be a considerable expense for fragile flowers with a shelf life of only a day or two. But instead of tossing beautiful bouquets and other flowers into the garbage once the wedding day has come and gone, couples can employ various methods to preserve those impressive displays for years to come.

they are completely dried out. After which, gently remove the flowers and arrange them in a vase or another container. Otherwise, reassemble a bouquet how it was and carefully display. Pressing Pressing is another way to preserve floral bouquets and arrangements. To press flowers, find a few heavy books to stack or another weighted object. Place the flowers between parchment paper or waxed paper and lay the heavy items on top. You also can place the flowers in tissue paper between the pages of a book so they are not jostled. Leave the blooms for a week or two and then check on them before putting them in a shadow box or photo frame.

Chemical drying Silica gel, borax and regular sand can be used Air drying to dry and preserve flowers as well. These can be handy One of the easiest ways to preserve flowers is to dry for people who desire to preserve an entire bouquet them out. This is best done as-is. by hanging blooms upside down so they will remain Silica gel is a desiccant straight and not warp or commonly found in small wither while drying. packets inside of new shoes and purses. It also Secure flowers in small can be purchased at home bundles and hang from an improvement retailers and out-of-the-way spot in a is used to dry out musty cool, dry area. The flowers may need to remain hanging basements and other areas. for up to three weeks before Fill a deep container

halfway with the silica gel or other drying material. Put in the bouquet and then gently add more product to the top of the flowers so they are completely submerged. Place a snug cover over the top of the container and let everything sit for about a week. Slowly the moisture will be absorbed from the flowers. Some people choose to

spray dried flowers with a sealant to keep them looking nice longer. An allpurpose craft spray might work. You also can ask for recommendations from the florist who handled your arrangements, and that florist may even preserve the flowers for you for an additional fee.

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Everything a wedding GUEST would ever want to know BY TIMOTHY R. SCHULTE CTW FEATURES

T

here is no shortage of tips and pieces of advice for brides and grooms. After all, it is their day. The wedding industrial complex has them covered. But what about the dozens or hundreds of guests who will be at each wedding? To whom do they turn to for guidance? Enter Jen Doll, author of “Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of Serial Wedding Guest” (Riverhead Books, 2014). Yes, serial, as in dozens of weddings. Doll’s wedding memoir doubles as a sort of wedding-guest handbook – someone who’s been to that many weddings surely knows what is (and what isn’t) acceptable behavior. Here, Doll shares what she’s learned about weddings along the way: IN THE BOOK YOU WRITE ABOUT 17 WEDDINGS? HOW MANY WERE EXCLUDED? I’ve been to something like 30 at this point. At some point I almost stopped counting. The most recent was my brother’s, in September [2014]. But I think it’s been about 30, and when I was writing the book I think I probably wrote [about] 25 of them. In the book they serve different purposes, to drive people forward, and you kind of really don’t need to tell the story of every wedding you’ve ever been to or your

book is going to be a thousand pages, which no one wants to read. WAS IT HARD TO RECALL THEM? It was surprisingly not difficult, and I think that’s because whether a wedding is good or bad they’re sort of burned into our brains. Pictures of you were taken at these weddings. And you just remember. Its more important and a bigger deal than a regular day. So probably if you close your eyes and think ‘What was the last wedding I went to?’ you actually have a visual remembrance of it. And it may have been 10 years ago but you can still remember. Weddings have a more evocative place in our brains. OTHER THAN YOUR BROTHER’S WEDDING, HAVE YOU BEEN TO MANY WEDDINGS AFTER THE BOOK WAS RELEASED? The book came out in May [2014], and I feel like I went to one over the summer but I can’t remember … Oh god! I don’t remember who it was. There was one in April that I went to. DO YOU FEEL DIFFERENT OR, MORE SO, ARE YOU TREATED DIFFERENT AT WEDDING EVENTS BECAUSE YOU’RE ‘JEN, THE WOMAN WHO WROTE THE WEDDING BOOK?’ Kind of! The one I went to in

the spring … a lot of conversations were about “Wait, and your book is about weddings! I’m sitting next to the wedding expert!” Sort of having conversations like that. There was a wedding I did go to in the early summer – I remember now! – and it was like “Oh my gosh! Tell me about your book! Are you going to write about this

wedding?” Stuff like that. WHEN I READ IT, I WAS REALLY STRUCK BY HOW POSITIVE YOU ALWAYS WERE GOING INTO WEDDINGS. IS THAT ALWAYS THE CASE? No, I think you’re right. Like, the wedding I went to in June, I See GUEST 29

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Page 29

GUEST: Book helps guests feel comfortable

now I just went, and I maybe shouldn’t have. remember being really nerDO YOU FEEL LIKE vous and excited about it. And WHEN YOU WERE I like wrote a note in my YOUNGER AND YOU phone: I am always excited to FIRST STARTED GOING go to weddings! It’s so strange! TO WEDDINGS AND You’d think that you would just YOUR FRIENDS FIRST be over it or you would even STARTED GETTING dread it – and I know some MARRIED YOU FELT AN people do dread it – but I think OBLIGATION TO GO? it’s a combination of me liking Yes. And also that this was parties, and every one is a dif- going to be the most important ferent experience, and they thing that I would ever experican really be so much fun and ence in my friend’s life. And so lovely and so full of love. you realize as you get older Most of the weddings I’ve been you’re going to experience lots to have been really wonderful. and lots of things. Weddings are less important to the marNOT SICK OF THEM YET? riage than the actual marriage, I still really like them. I hope I just like weddings are less keep on getting invited to important to the friendship them! They’re so much fun! It than the actual friendship. all just seems like a great party. I love a lot and like to be YOU SAID YOU’D BE around people who are in love. HAPPY IF YOUR BOOK And it’s an honor to be invited OPENED UP A to a wedding where you get to DIALOGUE TO TALK share someone’s special day ABOUT WEDDING with them. GUESTS AS PEOPLE. DO YOU FEEL LIKE GUESTS SO, HOW DOES A ‘SERIAL HAVE A BAD RAP OR WEDDING’ GUEST PUT STIGMA? I KNOW ON A GOOD FACE? MYSELF FROM This sounds silly or shallow PLANNING A WEDDING, perhaps, but one thing is wear- AS MUCH AS YOU LOVE ing something you really like AND APPRECIATE YOUR and you feel really comfortable FAMILY AND FRIENDS, and good in because, you AND CO-WORKERS, know, if you’re kind of dressing THEY OFTENTIMES CAN up and looking your best you JUST REALLY BE A just feel great going to what DOLLAR SIGN WHEN you’re going to, and that is YOU’RE PUTTING always helpful. I think now, as TOGETHER WEDDING. opposed to, say, 10 years ago, if Yes, yes, which is underthere was a wedding I felt real- standable. But also, I think ly unsure about or I could not that we all lose sight of what the moment is about. And put on a happy face, or natuthis is not the fault of the peorally just feel really happy ple getting married and it’s about, I think I would not go. And I think in my life prior to not really the fault of the

From 28

guests, but it’s kind of the fault of this false ideology of a wedding, that it’s supposed to be this perfect moment we see on TV and that everyone behaves a certain way. And that guests can either be the witty sideshow or the ridiculous disaster, maybe. Or they can be the mother of the bride and being a terrible pain and wanting everything her way,

or they’re just like nothing and they just sit back quietly and do whatever you say and help the day be perfect. But no one is really any of those things. We’re all way more complicated than that. The thing about weddings is it’s just not that the bride and groom suddenly own the emotions of the day. We all See GUEST 30

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Bride’s Guide 2015

GUEST: Tips for bringing a date to a wedding From 29 still feel emotions on that day, and we all still have our own lives, we’ve done things to be there at that event, and we want to be there, but we also don’t want to check all of our real self at the door. And can’t. I think that some of the disasters that happen at weddings come from suppressing all of these feelings and trying to pretend like everything is perfect, and then things do not go perfectly and then there’s this big explosion. But if we can be a little more honest and realistic and practical, maybe it would be less dramatic on both sides.

ANY TIPS FOR BRINGING THE NEW PERSON OR BEING THE PERSON? If you’re bringing a date and that person does not know anyone and you’re the connector to the wedding, make sure you are talking to that person, introducing them to people. It’s kind of your job – because you got invited and they didn’t – to make sure they’re a part of the scene. And if you want to go off on your own or do your own thing, make sure they’re okay with that. Or don’t bring them because you don’t have to have a date for a wedding. If you are the new person, similarly but oppositely, do feel like you can go out on your own. You don’t have to feel stuck with your date. And I think one thing that’s really nice about weddings is that they break down that barrier

of talking to strangers pretty quickly, and you’ll find people just want to connect on basic levels. So, really simple things – “Aren’t these flowers beautiful?” “How do you know the couple?” – are great ways to start it out. And everyone is in a great mood usually, so they want to talk and they want to know who you are. And you want to know who are they are. So it’s really easy, and you shouldn’t feel nervous about it.

HOW DOES A WEDDING GUEST RECOVER FROM A LESS THAN GRACEFUL PERFORMANCE? Apologize immediately to everyone. Maybe in writing, depending on how bad your grievances were. And, I think just apologizing and letting people know that it wasn’t about them, it was about you, and you know you messed up and you’re really sorry, and you’re hopeful that they’ll understand. In some circumstances, maybe it takes a while for them to cool off. You apologize, then you follow up and apologize again. ANY DOS/DON’TS FOR ATTENDING THE NEXT 30 WEDDINGS? Yes! Drink water between every glass of wine. Don’t go to weddings where you don’t want to see the couple get married. Go ready to have a good time and not with a lot of really complicated internal wrangling, if you can help it.

I think that if you’re feeling ed with those people. Let really complicated about it but your feelings out somewhere you have to go, go talk to – just not at the wedding. someone beforehand. Maybe CTW FEATURES someone who’s not a therapist, or someone who is not affiliat-

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Bride’s Guide 2015

Page 31

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Page 32

Bride’s Guide 2015

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