The Blind Clown of Cheltenham Town

By Harry Mockridge

Idress like a blind clown. I’m fully aware and if I’m being totally honest with you, I fucking love it.

The indescribable combination of vertical stripes, horizontal waves, tie-dye, and brain damage form the core aspects of my fashion sense. Essentially, I’m a walking, talking, smoking washing basket.

Prior to October 2021, my go-to ‘fit’ on the daily was black skinny jeans, a white tee and copious, I MEAN COPIOUS amounts of hair products. Like SERIOUSLY... no open flames allowed. I had dressed in this way since I was a young lad and I had settled into the style quite well.

I was an ok looking guy, not too confident, but in no way shy. This was my day-to-day get-up. I was comfortable. I was warm. That was all that I gave a rat’s arse about. At this point in my life, I had just emerged from a nasty, somewhat abusive relationship where I was discouraged from expressing myself. My social life had tanked. I was lonely and goddamned depressed if I’m honest. I had fallen into a rut, and I was struggling to express myself in so many ways.

It was around then that I met someone who has become a key figure in my day-to-day existence, Mr. Bucket Hat Zack (BHZ to his mates).

BHZ with his tobacco smoking apparatus...Top geezer

This guy was there from the offset. As soon as I was in a state to socialise, he was ready and willing to hang out. Honestly, I don’t know where I would be if I hadn’t met this guy. Ok, but how does this link to fashion I hear you say?

Well, this guy is a pretty smooth dresser... The best way to describe him is if Liam Gallagher fell into a vat of pure unbridled stoner essence. His unwillingness to give a flying FUCK about anyone else’s opinion has led to some rather questionable fits. However, it was this attitude to fashion that really piqued my interest. How was this guy so chill with what he wore?

Did he not care that people could dislike his style?

Looking back now, just over a year later, this was the kick up the ass that I needed. I had never considered exploring my own style. I had never thought about venturing away from the harmonious combination of jeans and a tee.

I’m from a conservative background in the middle of Buckinghamshire... It was rare to see any kind of outward expression like this. I feel like that was why it took me so long to bite the bullet and make a change.

Over a period of several weeks, I began making changes. I wanted to look outrageous (a goal that I have most certainly achieved). I changed my hairstyle for the first time in ten years, I threw out my old wardrobe and completely re-did my entire style. Shoes? Yes please!

When the dust settled and the fire (containing the majority of my old wardrobe) had died down, I was free.

I genuinely can’t describe the feeling. It was as if I was a new person. My life, my entire personality had quite literally gone up in smoke. That was it...

I was born again into a new mindset and some vintage trousers. My newfound style gave me a second wind. Like a tortoise wearing 3D glasses, I saw the world in a whole new light. My entire perspective was changed in a matter of days.

From that point onwards, I was more social. I came out of my shell. I was introduced to some of the most amazing friends that I have ever had. My perspective on life improved infinitely.

My hair changes colour in my sleep...I swear

For me, fashion is a broad term with minimal constraints. Some strive to be stylish. Others covet comfort.

I, on the other hand, live for the double takes. Absolute comedy gold.

The open mouth nudge from one ultra-masculine contractor to the other. The confusion of the nun who simply can’t understand what she saw.

I exist purely to confuse. At the end of the day, I use fashion to express myself. The bold patterns and colours are simply a FUCK YOU to everyone who dissuaded me, to everyone who held me back from becoming this person. I know that the clashing patterns and bright colours are an offense on the eyes. But that’s the whole point.

Fashion is personal. The only person who needs to like it is you.u