2021 Edition One by Farrago Magazine

FARRAGO E DITIO N O N E · 2 0 2 1

NEWS · OPINION · SCIENCE · PHOTOGRAPHY · POETRY · FICTION · SATIRE · ART

Acknowledgement of Country Since 1925, Farrago has been published at the University of Melbourne, on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. This is stolen land, and sovereignty was never ceded. Moreover, as the COVID-19 pandemic continues to separate us from our office and from each other, we are grateful for the opportunity to collaborate remotely, from stolen Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung lands, where we live and work. We acknowledge the True Owners of these lands, and pay our respects to their Elders: past, present and emerging. This acknowledgement extends to our University’s First Nations students. We acknowledge our editorial responsibility as settlers on stolen land to centre your voices and your experiences. Nature is often a strong influence on the work of creatives, and was a key inspiration for this edition’s cover. We hence also wish to acknowledge and pay our respects to the custodians of this sacred Country who have cared for and preserved it for over 75,000 years. Finally, to all immigrants and other recent settlers: we encourage you to recognise your duties and responsibilities to the rightful owners of this land. Learn its history. Acknowledge that you owe your rights, freedoms and privileges to the work of Indigenous activists. Resist fallacious “model minority” myths that uphold white supremacy and anti-Bla(c)k racism. Instead, stand in solidarity with First Nations people and know that this always was and always will be Aboriginal land. Ailish Hallinan Wurundjeri Land of the Kulin Nation Lauren Berry Boon Wurrung Land of the Kulin Nation Pavani Ambagahawattha Out of Country

CONTENTS REGULARS 03 04 18

Editorial Calendar Humans of Unimelb: Nicholas Candy Chu 79 Flash Fiction: Love Stories Amara Cavahlo, Elina Pugacheva

and Lee Perkins

Shaira Afrida Oyshee

For and Against: Zoom Tutorials Marcie Di Bartolomeo and

UMSU 06 08

OB Reports UMSU Updates Ciara O’Sullivan

NEWS 10 12

News-in-brief University of Melbourne Reopens Campus Through Their “three-mode delivery” System Joanna Guelas

International Students Call On Victorian Government to Improve Support Vanessa Chan 14 Your Welcome Back Guide Sarah Peters 17 “This is Not the End”: Advocates, Detainees Urge Students to Join Fight as More Refugees Released Jennifer Chance and Angus Thomson

NONFICTION 20

In Defense of Taylor Swift’s reputation Mayank Gurnani 26 Nomadland: Poetry in Motion Izma Haider 27 Perfectionism Surabhi Mishra 30 Tackling Tribalism and Managing Mob Mentality Ramesh

Statue of Woman, or Womankind? Daisy Norfolk 36 Review: Bridgerton’s Gross Mishandling of Consent Amber Meyer 40 Overpopulation Myths Lucy Williams 44 Social Media: The Age of Distraction Ben Smyth

SATIRE 45 46

Satire-in-brief How to Write an H1 Arts Essay Sweeney Preston 47 Man explaining Fight Club to you reminds you (for the fifth time) he does INDEED go to VCA! Emma-Grace Clarke

PHOTOGRAPHY 49

Featured Photography

Nicholai Bertol Candy Chu Yuwei Lin Sam Hadden Christian Theo Akash Anil Nair Mollie Crompton Carolyn West

Slogans and Nonsense Josh Abbey

Ordinary Joys: Complete Beginner E.S. 28 Jennifer’s Body: Hell is a Teenage Girl Nishtha Banavalikar 34 Art Musings: Monumental Questions Lisa Jacomos 42 Mandarin Marmalade

Steph Markerink

Zoe Keeghan

58 62

The World of Dragons The Pier Review Torsten Strokirch

Race Against the Odds Ilundi Tinga

The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms Charlotte Waters and Lee Perkins

Syrinx

Gen Schiesser

ART 16

Featured Art

CREATIVE 60

COLUMNS

Drowned Icarus

Arthur Nyakuengama Camille Allen

Eye for an iris Elmira Cheung

Second Journey II Rebecca Suares

Hannah Winspear-Schillings

sugar gliders

Sarah Peters

Good Mourning Sandie Ruuskanen

hospital bed Oscar Larkin

Rolled Together Izma Haider

Hunger

Tharidi Walimunige

The Park-Maker Ben Evans

The Trees in My Street Kate Williams

Little Moth

Shaira Afrida Oyshee

Politics

Elina Pugacheva

EDITORS Ailish Hallinan Lauren Berry Pavani Ambagahawattha

COVER Vivian Li

MANAGERS Elmira Cheung Vivian Li Anoushka Arora Shaunak Wanikar Sweeney Preston Charlotte Armstrong Samantha Thomson Pujitha Gaddam Ben Levy Carolyn West Mark Yin Janelle Del Vecchio Joanna Guelas

CONTRIBUTORS Donna Burroughs Jennifer Chance Simone Mckenna Joanna Guelas Vanessa Chan Sarah Peters Angus Thomson Candy Chu Mayank Gurnani Izma Haider Ramesh Daisy Norfolk Surabhi Mishra Amber Meyer Lucy Williams Ben Smyth Hannah Winspear-Schillings Sarah Peters Sandie Ruuskanen Oscar Larkin Tharidi Walimunige Ben Evans Kate Williams Shaira Afrida Oyshee Elina Pugacheva Emma-Grace Clarke Sweeney Preston

Josh Abbey Raina Shauki Amara Cavahlo Marcie Di Bartolomeo Lee Perkins

SUBEDITORS Finley Tobin Gemma Grant Tun Xiang Foo Joel Keith Lucy Robin Cassie Starc Mickhaella Ermita Nishtha Banavalikar Kate King-Smith Isabelle McConaghy Josh Abbey Rachel Kho Noa Abrahams Zoe Keeghan Christina Savopoulos Laura Franks Ella Crowley Charlotte Armstrong Helena Pantsis Austin J. Ceravolo Bridget Schwerdt Joel Duggan Xiaole Zhan Elizabeth Seychell Melana Uceda Marcie Di Bartolomeo Saanjana Kapoor Chelsea Rozario Claire Yip Poppy Willis Gwynneth Thomas Charlotte Waters Sam Hadden Ioanna Petropolou Nat Hollis

COLUMNISTS Zoe Keeghan Lisa Jacomos E.S. Ilundi Tinga Charlotte Waters Lee Perkins Josh Abbey Nishtha Banavalikar

ILLUSTRATORS

SATIRE TEAM

Vertigo Alicia May Aliandy Rohith Sundaresa Prabhu Kitman Yeung Zoe Lau Rachel Ko Rai Melana Uceda Mochen Tang Georgia Huang Rose Gertsakis Michelle Chang Joy Sha Arielle Vlahotis Birdy Carmen Casey Boswell Tereza Ljubicic Nina Hughes Torsten Strokirch Sam Turner Camille Allen Melissa Nguyen Yasmin Hopkins Rebecca Suares Arthur Nyakuengama Imogen Sy Vivian Li Elmira Cheung

Charlotte Armstrong Sweeney Preston James Gordon Emma-Grace Clarke Rowan Burridge Chelsea Rozario Josh Abbey Laura Bishop Janvi Sikand Raina Shauki

SOCIAL MEDIA

Anoushka Arora Shaunak Wanikar Keely Tzoukos Alain Nguyen Megan Van Vegten Isabella Ross Jenslie George Jessica Seychell Emily Gu Anindya Meivianty Setiawan Janelle Del Vecchio

PHOTOGRAPHERS Candy Chu Nicholai Bertol Yuwei Lin Sam Hadden Christian Theo Akash Anil Nair Mollie Crompton Carolyn West

GRAPHIC COLUMNISTS Steph Markerink Gen Schiesser Torsten Strokirch

ONLINE COLUMNISTS Srishti Chatterjee James Gordon

Illustration by Ailish Hallinan

This magazine is made from 100% recycled paper. Please recycle this magazine after use. Farrago is the newspaper of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). Farrago is published by the General Secretary. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of UMSU.

PAVANI

EDITORIAL

I spent hours trying to think of what profound, poetically penned words I would fill my first editorial with. But the more I thought, the emptier my self-indulgent spiel seemed. All I did was write some emails, organise and facilitate. It’s you that cooked words, and magicked up art, and froze reality in your cameras—all to fill our pages with. So, to each and every one of you who contributed to this magazine, and who continue to be a part of the Media Collective in 2021, thank you. The generosity with which you offer us your time and art takes my breath away. If I could name you all, I would. This magazine has been a labour of love. Within these pages you will find tenderness and anger, raw grief and budding hope. There is everything from a spirited defence of Taylor Swift to gentle musings on the joy of surfing to scathing attacks on Zoom tutorials. How strange, beautiful and hard to define the content of Farrago is, much like our beloved contributors themselves.

AILISH

I’ve never been so nervous to have my work in Farrago. Except this time my work is not in the magazine, but is rather the magazine itself. When I joined the editorial team, I did not expect to be taking over the roles of both news AND design editor but, true to the chaotic energy of the last 12 months, here we are! There have been many sleepless nights of late spent hunched over my computer, binging InDesign tutorials on YouTube and devouring copious amounts of vegan chocolate. I am eternally grateful for the support of Lauren and Pav, as well as all our team managers and contributors who have been so patient with me over the last few months while I put this magazine together. As always, I am floored by the work students have contributed to this edition. To all our contributors—reporters, writers, photographers and artists—thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the beautiful work you create. This magazine would be nothing without you.

LAUREN cw/ satire?

Love! in an Apocalypse! is the only way I can describe making our first edition. A romance fuelled by our passionate and resilient contributors, managers and community. What a strange time to be inheriting the golden Farrago seat. Rumour has it our ancestors actually occupied the Media Office’s towering heights… Alas, here we find ourselves—in CYBERSPACE! I never thought in a MILLION years that Mark Zuckerberg would be our long-lost fourth editor. We’re not too happy about it. But as we settle into our temporary(?) online media home, he’s become an unlikely ally. Sure, that whole Facebook news block was a dick move, and not to mention conflict of interest for our editorial team. But we’re trying to work through his hostility. Anyway, just know that I’m craving the day I get to power jump up four flights of Union House stairs, break into the office and let out a big YEEEOOOOOWWW! Perhaps, eventually, we’ll revert back to physical submissions. I just want to raise paper to my face and take a big ol’ SNIFF. Oop—Hellooooooooo? Was I on mute the whole time?

FARRAGO

MARCH MONDAY 1

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 5

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

THURSDAY 11 2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective

MONDAY 8

1pm: Queer x Southbank Collective 5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 12

12pm: Bubble Teas With the LGBTs 2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

THURSDAY 18

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs

TUESDAY 2

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective

TUESDAY 9

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

MONDAY 15

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 19

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

THURSDAY 25

1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective

TUESDAY 30

WEDNESDAY 31

WEDNESDAY 24

2pm: Trans Collective

TUESDAY 2

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

WEDNESDAY 3

1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

TUESDAY 2

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective

TUESDAY 16

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

MONDAY 22

1pm: Queer x Southbank Collective 5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 26

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

Illustration by Camille Allen

THURSDAY 4

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs

WEDNESDAY 10

THURSDAY 11

1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

TUESDAY 16

WEDNESDAY 17

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective 5pm: Queer Gym Night

TUESDAY 23

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

MONDAY 29

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

TUESDAY 23

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective 4pm: Queer Crafts

TUESDAY 30

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

THURSDAY 1

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs

WEDNESDAY 7 1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

TUESDAY 13

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective 5pm: Queer Gym Night

MONDAY 19

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 23

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

THURSDAY 29 2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs

FRIDAY 2

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective 6.30pm: Queer Gals and Enby Pals Movie

THURSDAY 8

12pm: Climate Action Collective (Southbank campus) 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective

MONDAY 5

1pm: Queer x Southbank Collective 5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

FRIDAY 9

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

WEDNESDAY 14 WEDNESDAY 14 THURSDAY 15 1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

TUESDAY 20

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

MONDAY 26

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

5pm: Queer in the Workplace Panel

TUESDAY 20

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective 5pm: Queer Crafts

TUESDAY 27

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

WEDNESDAY 21 1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

TUESDAY 27

2pm: Trans Collective 3pm: RRI Students Collective

TUESDAY 6

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

MONDAY 12

5:30pm: Queer and Questioning Support Group

THURSDAY 15 2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs

FARRAGO

APRIL TUESDAY 6

2pm: Trans Collective

TUESDAY 13

12pm: Environment Collective 12pm: Women of Colour Collective 1pm: Bla(c)k Collective

FRIDAY 16

2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

THURSDAY 22

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

2pm: Queer People of Colour Collective 4pm: Creative Arts Collective

WEDNESDAY 28 THURSDAY 29 1pm: People of Colour Collective 1pm: Queer Lunch 2pm: Queer Political Action Collective

1pm: Education Action Collective 1pm: Queer People of Faith Collective 1pm: Radical Reading Group (Enviro)

FRIDAY 26

12pm: Bubble Teas With the LGBTs 2pm: Asexual/ Aromantic Collective 3pm: Queer x Disabilities Collective

Illustration by Camille Allen

UMSU

President | Jack Buksh

Hi there! Whether this is your first time here, or you’re returning, welcome to UMSU for 2021. I’m Jack—going into my fourth year of being involved here at UMSU. UMSU is an organisation run for students, by students, which basically means we are here for you every step of the way throughout your time at university. So come down and get involved, whether that’s joining a club or coming to an event, utilising our free advocacy or legal service—join us! My office is in Union House (when we’re on campus) but I’m also Zooming every day, so feel free to drop me a line if you ever have issues you want to chat through (president@union.unimelb.edu.au).

General Secretary | Ciara O’Sullivan

Hello it’s me Ciara and I’m UMSU’s General Secretary for 2021. What does any of that mean? Well 1. UMSU is YOUR student union that represents your voice to the University and supports you through your time at Unimelb. 2. I do things like running Students’ Council (our board of directors) and writing policy. 3. It’s pronounced like Kira, I’m a 3rd year student, and I’m eternally screaming into the void. In these UnPreCedEntEd TiMeS it’s important to get involved with your student union to make sure you’re being treated fairly by the University—so become a member today!

Clubs and Societies | Kalyana Vania and Muskaan Hakhu

Hey there! As this is our first OB report for Farrago, we would like to introduce ourselves! We are Kalyana (she/ her) and Muskaan (she/her) and we are the new C&S Office Bearers. Something that both of us wanted to work on was increasing diversity and accessibility in the C&S department, and to achieve that we have been working on creating club guide translations (currently we are focusing on including three languages). We are also planning to run respect training for clubs so we all can truly become a wholesome, loving and inclusive department!

Creative Arts | Merryn Hughes and Vaishnavi Ravikrishna

Well hello there! We’re Vaishnavi (she/her) and Merryn (she/her), your Creative Arts Officers for 2021 and we’re here to help you make, share and enjoy art here at Unimelb! We have a stack of online events this semester for all you art-lovers out there: from Arty Party, to workshops, to our wholesome weekly collective (pet cameos welcome). And if you’ve got the ideas but not the funds, check out our grants program! You can apply for up to $500 to kickstart your creative projects and support your artistic development—our first grant round closes soon so keep your eyes peeled…

Education Academic | Jennisha Arnanta and Planning Saw

Hey, hey, hey! Jennisha and Planning here! We are your 2021 Ed (Academic) Officer Bearers! This year, we will be working hard to make education more accessible, equitable and transparent for our students! Ed Ac works directly with the University to influence policies and practices and ensure students’ voices, feedback and concerns are heard. A lot has happened in the past month and we are working to appeal to changes in Special Consideration that affect all students and are appealing for reduced study load for international students! Don’t forget to come and say hi to us during Summerfest!

Education Public | Hannah Krasovec and Tejas Gandhi

Hey!! We’re Hannah and Tejas, your 2021 Education Public Affairs (Ed Pub) Officers. We’ll be continuing the No Cuts campaign, fighting against attacks on education from the University and the government. We’ll be running an anti-racism campaign and calling on the University to improve their mental health practices. We will be running the Education Action Collective (weekly, Thursdays 1pm) where you can discuss activism and get involved with our campaigns. We are introducing the Rural, Regional and Interstate (RRI) Students Collective (weekly, day and time TBA) where RRI students can make friends and work on issues affecting them.

Burnley | Kaitlyn Hammond

Happy semester one from everyone at Burnley! We are excited to see more faces around campus as restrictions begin to ease. We have a fun semester ahead of us, so keep an eye out for activities on our socials! Instagram: @umsuburnley Facebook: /burnleystudentassociation

Disabilities | Brigit Doyle and Lindsay Tupper-Creed

UMSU Disabilities is a safe and inclusive community which provides a space for students living with or experiencing a disability (including mental health). We help students empower themselves through education via our disabilities space, collectives, workshops, community events and more! This semester we’re really excited to do something for everyone, including welcoming back more experienced students to our mentorship program. Drop into one of our online or in-person events, or reach out for help from the OBs (Brigit & Lindsay).

Indigenous | Hope Kuchel & Shanysa McConville

UMSU

Welcome new and returning students! We are Shanysa (she/her) and Hope (she/her), your UMSU Indigenous Department Officers for 2021. We are excited to return and support the First Nations cohort as we continue to navigate life amidst COVID-19. We are excited to offer various collectives for Indigenous students this year, including a weaving group. Additionally, we will host numerous social events, including a stand-up comedy night and a birdhouse making workshop. Volumes 9 and 10 of Under Bunjil will also be printed in 2021. Follow our socials to stay updated on our events and initiatives. [ umsu.unimelb.edu.au/communities/indigenous | www.facebook.com/ UMSUIndigenous |www.instagram.com/umsuindigenous ]

People of Colour | Emily AlRamadhan and Mohamed Omer

We’re Emily and Mohamed, your People of Colour Officers! We’re excited to get the department running and be home away from home to all BIPOC. We promote welfare, provide a safe space, and fight against racism for students of colour. 2021 will be jam-packed: we’re fighting for your access to better mental health services at uni; we’re publishing your creative submissions in Myriad, our departmental publication; and we’re meeting you at our Karen-free collectives and special events, like Bla(c)k Collective and film screenings, with seasoned food! Find more on Facebook (UMSUPeopleOfColour), Instagram (UMSUPeopleOfColour), and the UMSU website :)

Activities | Christos Preovolos and Phoebe Chen

UMSU Activities is the department of the student union that brings you social events, parties, giveaways, trivia nights, and so much more! But mostly we (and UMSU) are here to make sure you all feel welcome at the university and to help you get engaged in student life to the max!

Queer | Amelia Bright and Laura Ehrensperger

The Queer Department advocates for students who identify as LGBTQIA+ or questioning. We run events throughout the year to keep queers in touch with each other, and even have our own community space in Union House. Check out the Farrago calendar to see our weekly autonomous collectives and awesome semester one events! You can always visit us in our office in Union House for anything queer related. We are both queer students just like you, so your experiences on campus - good and bad - are relatable to us, and we have the experience to help you when you need it.

Southbank | Will Hall

Already in 2021, the Southbank Committee has met twice to discuss the needs of students on our campus and endorse our Semester 1 Budget. Office Bearers met with the Dean of the Faculty of Fine Arts and Music to establish communication around the issue of unaltered course fees during 2020. We are working on a number of projects to improve the student community including Town Hall Talks, a student activism history project and efforts to assist decolonising the University.

Welfare | Allen Xiao and Hue Man Dang

Hi! We’re Allen and Hue Man, your Welfare Officers for 2021! We have an exciting calendar of events that support your health, growth and wellbeing. If you’re looking for volunteering opportunities and a friendly community, the Welfare Department is always keen to have you. This year, we’re also reviving the Welfare Collective (a place to chill, meet new friends, and contribute to our campaigns) and expanding our Resource Bank with food and essentials. If you’re in need of professional clothing, we’ve got that as well! P.S. We’re always a chat away, so don’t hesitate to hit us up!

Women | Srishti Chatterjee and Mickhaella Ermita

Hello! We are Srishti (they/them) and Mickhaella (she/her) and we welcome you to the Women’s Department—we represent all women, non-binary, trans and gender diverse students at the Uni. We’re excited to do some fun events about destigmatising menstrual health, consent, art and accessible activism, as well as focus on getting the University to commit to Safety on Campus. Midway through the year, we’ll be producing our very own magazine— Judy’s Punch! Cool things coming up—stay tuned.

Environment | Anh Nguyen and James Park

The Environment Department is hard at work planning for an amazing year of environmentalism! We’re focusing on inclusivity and accessibility for all students this year, and we can’t wait for the semester to start to show you what’s in store. From fun weekly collectives, radical reading groups, and practical workshops to community gardens, food co-ops and Sustainability Week—there’ll be something for everyone regardless of how involved you are with environmental activism. As long as you are passionate about leading a sustainable lifestyle and preserving our beautiful planet, follow the Environment Department on social media to stay updated on our plans!

UMSU

UMSU Updates The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) is a student union run for students, by students, and funded by students. Our goal is to ensure that you feel supported and are treated fairly during your time at university. As General Secretary, it is my role to ensure that UMSU remains true to its aims, and is run in an effective, transparent and inclusive manner. No one likes governance (apart from me!), but UMSU’s governance structures make sure that student money is used effectively to support and represent you. As your student union, we have a duty to work for you and with your interests in mind in everything you do. All Student Representatives are governed by an elected Students’ Council, which meets regularly, and meetings are open to all students. There are 15 General Representatives (plus six elected representatives for special constituencies—Queer, Indigenous, International, Postgraduate, Students of Colour and Students with Disabilities), all of whom are elected at the annual student elections in September. https://umsu.unimelb.edu.au/getinvolved/studentscouncil/ UMSU Departments also hold their own committee meetings and collectives, providing all students with a chance to have their say in the direction and activities of the student union. All meeting details can be found at: https://umsu.unimelb.edu.au/about/secretariat Students’ Council so far… This has been a weird time for the Students’ Council—usually UMSU’s budget is passed in the first council meeting (usually in November/December)—but due to COVID-19 the election results were delayed, meaning elected representatives only had their election confirmed in November last year! This means that the UMSU Budget only just passed in February—but that hasn’t stopped our student representatives from planning an amazing year for you all! In the meantime UMSU Students’ Council has: • Adopted a position of solidarity with the Medevac refugees currently incarcerated in the Park Hotel near the University of Melbourne • Affirmed the right to protest and condemned anti-protest laws and actions taken by State and Federal Governments • Condemned so-called “Australia Day” celebrations and reaffirmed its support for Invasion Day protests around the country • Declared a Climate Emergency and began work on a union-wide sustainability strategy Ciara O’Sullivan UMSU General Secretary secretary@union.unimelb.edu.au

Illustration by Ailish Hallinan

NEWS

Illustration by Rohith Sundaresa Prabhu

NEWS

content warning: violence, death

NEWS-IN-BRIEF Written by Donna Burroughs, Jennifer Chance, Izma Haider and Simone Mckenna

B.1.1.7 COVID STRAIN IN AUSTRALIA

VACCINATION DRIVES IN VARIOUS COUNTRIES The successful development of various vaccines against COVID-19 has been promptly followed by national vaccination campaigns across the world. Israel was lauded for its quick delivery of the Pfizer vaccine, but it was criticised for excluding Palestinians in its rollout. India began one of the world’s largest mass immunisation programs in mid-January, after its regulator approved the Oxford-AstraZeneca and Bharat Biotech vaccines. Australia has planned to start vaccinating the population in February; however, its plans are under threat due to the European Union tightening export controls on locally-produced COVID-19 vaccines, including the Oxford-AstraZeneca and Pfizer-BioNTech vaccines.

On 8 January, Brisbane entered a three-day lockdown after a quarantine hotel cleaner was diagnosed with the COVID-19 B.1.1.7 variant. On 15, 17 and 18 January, three people associated with the Australian Open tested positive for the same variant. Queensland Chief Health Officer Jeannette Young said the variant is 70 per cent more infectious than the regular strain.

CLIMATE EMERGENCY 2020 concluded the hottest decade on record, continuing the widely-observed global warming trend—each decade has been warmer since the 1980s. Australia was no exception, recording temperatures almost 1 °C above average compared to the previous decade. Scientists anticipate continued warming due to unsustainable levels of carbon dioxide emissions.

MEDEVAC REFUGEES RELEASED A reported total of 65 detained medically-vulnerable refugees were released on 21 January from Park Hotel on Swanston Street. This follows daily protests that have occurred outside the hotel since December. Bridging visas will allow the refugees to reside in Australia for six more months. 13 refugees are still locked up inside the hotel.

NATIONAL ANTHEM “AMENDMENT” On New Year’s Eve, the second line of ‘Advance Australia Fair’ was amended from “young and free” to “one and free”. Prime Minister Scott Morrison said the change “takes away nothing, but … adds much”. The one-word swap had mixed feedback, receiving criticism for being tokenistic and doing little to reform systemic racism.

STORMING OF THE UNITED STATES CAPITOL On 6 January, far-right extremists stormed the United States (US) Capitol after former US President Donald Trump spoke at a nearby rally. He called the election an “egregious assault on our democracy” and asked his supporters to “walk down to the Capitol”. The Capitol breach interrupted the certification of Electoral College votes for then-President-elect Joe Biden and forced members of the US Congress to evacuate to a secure location. In the following days, social media platforms suspended Trump’s accounts, reasoning that he had used those platforms to incite violence. On 13 January, the US House of Representatives impeached Trump for the second time because of the riots. The impeachment trial is expected to start on 9 February.

INDIAN FARMERS’ PROTEST In August 2020, Indian farmers’ unions began protesting three farming bills aimed at deregulating minimum prices for crops and encouraging private investment into the farming sector. Critics said the bills removed the little protection farmers had. They were passed in September and protests intensified. Under the Modi Government, farmers’ wages plateaued as costs and inflation continued to rise, leading to a debt crisis. An estimated 250 million people participated in the mass general strike on 26 November, making it the largest in history.

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

content warning: violence, death

Written by Donna Burroughs, Jennifer Chance, Izma Haider and Simone Mckenna

ALEXEI NAVALNY

TENNIS QUARANTINE

Anti-corruption activist Alexei Navalny was detained almost immediately upon his return to Russia from Germany on 18 January, after recovering from a poisoning suspected to have been ordered by the Kremlin. His arrest sparked anti-government protests in more than 100 cities across Russia, resulting in thousands of arrests and incidents of police violence.

Seventy-two tennis players were required to isolate in hotel quarantine in early February after positive cases of COVID-19 were detected on three chartered flights they were on into Melbourne. The Victorian Government rejected their requests to exit quarantine early, however the Australian Open has altered its schedule to accommodate the quarantined players.

OLDEST KNOWN CAVE PAINTING FOUND IN INDONESIA

YASMIN POOLE

In early January, archaeologists presented their discovery of the world’s oldest known animal cave painting in the Leang Tedongnge cave in Indonesia. The life-size image of a pig, discovered to be at least 45,500 years old via uranium-series dating, is the earliest known representational art in the world.

NEWS

NEWS-IN-BRIEF

Australian youth advocate Yasmin Poole has been named Youth Influencer of the Year in an online ceremony by The King Centre, a nonprofit organisation honouring the legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. Poole, 22, is a Canberra-based writer, speaker and law student who advocates for diversity in leadership and sits on the boards of OzHarvest and the YWCA.

INTERNATIONAL STUDENT TRAVEL

UGANDAN ELECTIONS

International students have petitioned to return to Australia, despite Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews saying that bringing back large quantities of international students in 2021 would be “incredibly challenging”. Department of Health Secretary Brendan Murphy has also suggested that international travel is unlikely to resume this year, even with vaccine rollouts in place.

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni won a sixth term in office following an election campaign marred by state violence and human rights abuses. Opposition candidate Bobi Wine rejected the election results, calling it “fraudulent”. He has been detained in his home by security forces since election day on 14 January.

ETHIOPIA’S BLOODY TIGRAY WAY Since November 2020, the Ethiopian Government and the Tigray People’s Liberation Front (TPLF) political party’s armed conflict has caused 4,770 civilian deaths and displaced two million. In 2019, to renounce Ethiopia’s history of ethnic segregation, Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed merged its ethnic and geographically-based political parties under the new Prosperity Party. The TPLF refused the merger, resulting in the conflict.

HONG KONG DETAINS ACTIVISTS Hong Kong police detained 53 pro-democracy activists on 6 January under the new national security law. The arrests were likely linked to the July primaries, where opposition parties ran an independent and unofficial voting process to select candidates for the legislative election. The election was later postponed under COVID-19 fears. Foreign Minister Marise Payne expressed concern about the arrests and said that the security law was “eroding Hong Kong’s autonomy”.

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

NEWS

University of Melbourne Reopens Campus Through Their “three-mode delivery” System Written by Joanna Guelas After almost an entire year of remote learning, the University of Melbourne will be reopening to students in January 2021 through a three-mode delivery system for the First Half Year of 2021. This system includes online classes, campus-based classes, and dual-delivery, where classes are taught both online and in-person. All students may enrol in dual-delivery and online subjects; however, campus-based subjects require that students must be able to attend campus. For this reason, international students are encouraged to remain in their home countries “until restrictions are lifted and the University advises … that [international students] can come to campus”.

“[The return to campus plan] is designed to support the priority return of teaching and learning, research and student activities to campus in 2021 in a way that ensures the safety of our University community,” they said. Although Arts student Theodora Beatty completed her first year entirely online, she understands the conservative approach the University has taken compared to Monash.

Moreover, the University has also developed a research assessment and prioritisation criteria to aid graduate researchers in continuing their on-campus research activities.

“It’s reasonable considering the uncertainty surrounding Melbourne’s current COVID-19 situation, and I appreciate that it allows students stuck overseas to participate in classes,” said Beatty.

Without formal approval to attend campus via enrolment in campus-based subjects or through the graduate research prioritisation assessment, students will be unable to access buildings in early 2021. This also includes the parks and grounds.

“I’d prefer to move fully on-campus once there is less risk of having to transition back to online classes. I think campus life is incredibly important, but so is continuity.” However, first-year Music student Henry Langley disagrees.

The Baillieu Library is currently the only facility open to all University staff and students without need for approval. However, services such as viewing the Archives and Special Collections will require booking an appointment online. The other libraries remain closed, though a plan by the University aims to phase a re-opening of physical library services by early 2021.

“I personally would prefer campus to be open, since a large reason for my decision to choose Melbourne was due to the excellent facilities it provides towards a music degree,” said Langley.

However, universities such as Monash and RMIT are doing a full reopening of their campus. Monash has stated that its on-campus learning is in line with current state government restrictions and expects “all students based in Australia will be in Melbourne and attending on-campus activities from the commencement of semester”.

A University of Melbourne spokesperson said that through the three-mode delivery system their “aim is to bring back as much in-person learning as is feasible in 2021 within current guidelines”.

“Without going on campus, it would make it a lot more difficult to keep motivation to practice and with experience from last year, learning an instrument from your computer is a very difficult thing to do.” Regardless, the University is set to implement its threemode delivery system for early 2021. Delivery modes for the Second Half Year will be confirmed later this year, in alignment with government restrictions and public health advice.

Photograph by Carolyn West

NEWS

International Students Call On Victorian Government to Improve Support Written by Vanessa Chan International students experiencing financial hardship and food insecurity have called on the Victorian Government to improve support measures. The state government established a $45 million International Student Emergency Relief Fund in April 2020 to support students whose finances have been hit by reduced working hours or job losses. However, the fund ignored unemployed international students, whose budget became even tighter during the pandemic. According to Study Melbourne—a state government initiative providing support and information to international students—the fund has supported less than a quarter of international students living in Victoria. As a result, many students have been forced to look for food relief from Australian charities. According to Foodbank Australia, around 40 per cent of food banks have seen increased demand from international students since the beginning of the pandemic. On 21 October 2020, Study Melbourne collaborated with Foodbank to open the International Student Pop-Up Store in the CBD, providing free vegetables, staple foods and canned food. However, some students have struggled to meet their nutritional needs while relying on food from the pop-up store. Michelle, a Vietnamese student ineligible for the relief fund, was disappointed with the limited options in the store.

International students have also criticised the University’s and state government’s public health messages. Anita van Rooyen runs wellbeing programs with Study Melbourne and says many students have trouble finding timely and accurate public health updates. “It has been difficult to navigate, especially for new 2020 students and foundation level students too with more limited English,” van Rooyen said. “I think the lesson here for all education providers and support services is that many of these challenges students faced with struggling to find trustworthy, independent information is not new.” Many students have been unable to see their families over summer, as most international flights have been suspended. Those who found a flight home will struggle to return to Melbourne before Semester 1, as international borders are set to remain closed for much of 2021. As Victoria emerges from the pandemic, van Rooyen believes more should be done to help students improve their mental health. In January, Study Melbourne ran the Summer Feelz Festival for international students to expand their network and put the challenges of lockdown behind them. “I’ve created the Summer Feelz Fest to be a celebration for all kinds of students with activities that provide more than just surface-level support,” van Rooyen said.

She believes the state government and the University could be doing more to improve food security for international students.

Meanwhile, the Victorian Government has not announced the renewal of the Emergency Relief Fund in 2021.

“The University or the government can organise free meals, give allowance to cover the groceries, for example, $60 per week for international students.”

This story is ongoing.

Illustration by Joy Sha

NEWS

YOUR WELCOME BACK GUIDE Written by Sarah Peters

It’s been a while since many of us have been on campus. For some of you, you’ve only caught a glimpse or two of university life. Farrago thought a small guide to returning to campus could be useful (there are some things you pick up after six years of tertiary education!)

A Cold One Queensberry Hotel: At the corner of Swanston St and Queensberry St, this place is great for a casual catch up, a game of pool, or your next favourite function. The Ida Bar: Named after the club that led to the University’s first female graduate, the Ida is located on level one of Union House and is a great place to relax and take a look at the bands performing on a Tuesday. (Also, pretty socially distanced, and a great view for photos of BABBA, Lime Cordiale, or other iconic artists).

A Hot One Carte Crêpes: all you could ask for in crepes and chai lattes. These guys are hardworking and wholesome at the Parkville campus. Down the south lawn stairs and to the right. Castro’s Kiosk: No other place on the Parkville campus can compete with the variety of hot chocolates that you can order here. Check these guys out near the David Caro Building. Lionel’s Café: Southbank bound and a perfect function space and coffee oddity. These guys are tucked away at 26 Grant Street.

Time to Nap The “Grassy Knoll”: Between the Theatre and Visual Arts buildings by Dodd Street, this outdoor space is one of many to take a snooze in. Student Lounge: As long as it’s not election week on campus, the ground floor lounge of Union House can be a relaxed and dark space to have a small nap. I’d also encourage you to check out the autonomous spaces that can be found on other levels of the Union House building.

Illustrated by Alicia Aliandy

NEWS

Time to Work The Hub: Found at Southbank featuring a library and exclusive after hours access for students (when we’re not being haunted by the novel coronavirus), this is an inviting space with lots of windows so you feel like you’re not trapped by your assessments. Reading Room, Old Arts: On the first floor of Old Arts is a big hall with a number of chairs and nooks for you to nestle into. This is a lesser-known study space, but a huge recommendation.

A Spot to Explore National Gallery of Victoria: A stop from Southbank campus, there are a number of free exhibits that can offer a spot to reminisce and think. Bonus points for supporting local art. Rowden White Library: Even if the Mudcrabs aren’t performing comedy, or it’s not a Dogs in the Rowdy week, the Union House library at the Parkville campus is a perfect place to take some time out. Burnley Community Garden: Check in with your Burnley Representative, Kaitlyn, for a chance to get your hands dirty. There is also a garden at the Parkville campus, but we encourage you to step outside your comfort zone! Systems Garden: Towards the Elizabeth Street side of the Parkville campus, the Systems Gardens is perfect for naps, studying or those #FinallyOnCampus photos.

* Find one of these spaces? Farrago encourages you to send them a picture in the space and to share your other favourites around campus. We’ve been cooped up inside for too long, it’s time for an adventure!

Illustrated by Alicia Aliandy

ART 16

Arthur Nyakuengama @arthur_nyax

NEWS

“This is Not the End”: Advocates, Detainees Urge Students to Join Fight as More Refugees Released Written by Jennifer Chance and Angus Thomson After multiple years in offshore and local detention, an additional 20 refugees detained in Park Hotel on Swanston Street were released on bridging visas on 21 January, according to the ABC. They join the 45 refugees and asylum seekers who were released the day prior from both Park Hotel and the Melbourne Immigration Transit Accommodation (MITA). However, according to former Park Hotel detainee Mostafa Azimitabar, 14 men still remain detained inside. The refugees’ release comes after prolonged pressure from protestors, who have maintained a daily presence outside the Park Hotel since December. Organised by Stand Together For Justice, multiple sleep-outs, blockades and rallies have been held in support of the detainees. Activist Jess Tran says the campaign is open to everyone, and is primarily about maintaining a consistent presence outside the hotel. “Just being outside the Park Hotel prison and waving to the men is just so powerful, because they’ve been told their whole time being detained that no one in Australia loves them and wants them here,” they said. Community organiser and University of Melbourne student Srishti Chatterjee had a meal with the men released on Wednesday night. “I think of these people as my friends—we’d wave at each other, check up on each other, make hearts with our hands through the windows. “It felt so overwhelming, and honestly a little unbelievable, to be able to hug them.” However, the news is bittersweet. The men have been released on ‘final departure’ bridging visas, meaning they are ineligible for government support and unable to apply for more permanent visas or residency. A spokesperson for the Department of Home Affairs told Farrago that the temporary visas allow individuals to live in the community while they “finalise their arrangements to leave Australia”. “They are encouraged to finalise their medical treatment so they can continue on their resettlement pathway to the United States, return to Nauru or PNG or return to their home country,” they stated. According to academic and community organiser Apsara Sabaratnam, while the release is an important milestone in the movement and a reminder of the effectiveness of community

action, the men nevertheless remain “confined to a life of uncertainty” in Australia. Sabaratnam is a member of the Refugee Action Collective (RAC), who have also held rallies calling for the release of the detained refugees. RAC is calling on the Morrison Government to give those released permanent protection visas and full access to Medicare, social security and higher education. The men were initially brought to the Australian mainland from detention centres in Nauru and Papua New Guinea to receive medical attention under the now-repealed ‘Medevac’ law in 2019. They were detained in the Mantra Hotel in Preston before being transferred to Carlton in December 2020. Abu Bakar is a stateless Rohingya refugee who has been in Australia’s detention system for seven years. He has been waiting seven months to see a brain specialist for his head injuries. He stated that all the Park Hotel windows are kept locked and that there is no drinking water in the rooms, meaning they must go to the rooftop to drink. The windows are also tinted so Abu can see people outside but they cannot see him. “I spend most time [watching] people walk with their (sic) family or friends, but I am still in detention. Sometimes when [I] can see people outside spending their daily lives… I cry [to] myself.” At the time of publication, Abu Bakar has not received news of his release. According to Azimitabar, who suffers from asthma, detainees are also kept in their rooms 23 hours a day and common spaces consist of a small indoor gym and soccer nets without access to fresh air. “I don’t understand why they put me inside a room for more than a year without any proper medication for my PTSD,” he said. Other detained refugees also reported that rooms at Park Hotel are smaller and have poorer ventilation than those at Mantra. Azimitabar told Farrago it was encouraging to see young people gathering outside the Park Hotel and encouraged more University of Melbourne students to get involved. “Keep using your voice and showing up for us.” According to Sabaratnam, there is still a “long way to go” to improve the lives of refugees whether in Australia or being held in offshore detention by the Australian Government. “If we don’t have that wholescale change, this kind of treatment will be meted to new waves of refugees that come to this country.”

Photograph by Jennifer Chance

FARRAGO

Humans of Unimelb: Nicholas This series zooms in on the lovely humans that make up our university community. In this edition, photography team member Candy Chu chats to Nicholas, a Masters of Public Policy student, about a fond childhood memory.

* Q: Is there a fond memory from childhood you would like to share? Nicholas (N): The one that I always remember is, um...I must have been 11 or 12? I was flying to Europe for my uncle’s wedding, in Amsterdam in the Netherlands. So I always remember when we got off the plane at the Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam, I probably butchered that haha, because I don’t speak Dutch. I remember walking out and seeing my grandfather, for the first time that I can remember.

N: I just saw this really tall man, he was German so he was quite tall. He was wearing an Akubra and a trench jacket. I walked up and realised that that’s my grandfather, and just the fondness of seeing him for the first time. I also remember he had big hands, big hands! He was a plumber and so I remember his strength, but also how gentle they were. On the car ride back, my family went in the car we had hired but I went with my grandfather, and it was just me and him. We didn’t have a common language, but it was just nice to be with him.

Photographs by Candy Chu

Art by Sam Turner

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In Defence of Taylor Swift’s reputation Written by Mayank Gurnani I wish I could say that my first time listening to a Taylor Swift song was ~an experience so divine, it was like no other~ but that wouldn’t be true. The first time I heard her music, I was at my cousin’s house, who, like most other rich, pre-teen girls in India, really, realllly wanted to show off her new iPod. I was already so annoyed by the time she had finished trying to mimic Miley Cyrus that when she played “Tim McGraw”, I didn’t pay much attention. But as the song progressed, my interest grew. I remember asking her with hesitance who the artist was. She replied with the slight condescension I had come to expect from her and others like her: “It’s Taylor Swift, and she’s amazing!” I can’t really explain what it was about Taylor’s music that drew me in. Maybe it was her vocals, maybe it was her guitar skills, or maybe it was my desire to assimilate into a social class that loved Taylor (or any other American artist). But as she rose to fame, every critic, every music publication, and everyone desperately trying to prove themselves as having ~refined~ taste in music hopped on the bandwagon that Swift’s music was “basic”, and decided unanimously in their Headquarters of Music Criticism that being basic was a crime against humanity that should end musicians’ careers and be used as a reason to send them to vocal purgatory. My concern with, and dismissal of, this specific criticism of Taylor and her music doesn’t stem from me being an ardent fan, and running a burner account on Swiftie stan Twitter (yes, this is very much a thing). Rather, it emerges from observing that conflating Taylor’s innate “basic-ness” with frivolity speaks to the much larger issue of how arbitration of art by gatekeeping forces is an inherently classist process that associates the lack of accessibility of a piece of art with it being worthy of appreciation. The Orwell-reading, Foucault-quoting, Colombian-roast-sipping budding socialists I went to uni with loathed TayTay with every last anti-capitalist bone in their bodies. Yet, they still haven’t been able to produce a single criticism of Swift or her discography that doesn’t boil down to simply her being a popular female musician. And don’t get me wrong, I am not stating that Taylor is beyond criticism. No one is, much less a white woman who is a mega-millionaire, but her ability to connect with millions of people around the world with her lyricism and music isn’t something that I will ever accept as reason enough to put her down. Taylor’s musical prowess isn’t one that needs to be elaborated upon (yet, here I am!). Years of bad faith criticism and an almost endless barrage of negative comments about her style of music has meant that Taylor has had to reinvent herself and her art more times than any other artist in recent memory. She’s had to switch from her country roots (self-titled, Fearless, and Red) to soft pop (1989). And because that was too basic as well, she experimented with more normcore pop in reputation, which was seen as too much, and you guessed it, too basic, so she produced the more heartfelt Lover. And don’t get me wrong, the results have been nothing short of spectacular. But it seems like nothing she does will ever appease the self-proclaimed cultural connoisseurs who only listen to extremely hard-to-find, impossible-to-stream musicians like… Tame Impala. We as a society have for long romanticised inaccessibility, whether through “members only” clubs, Ivy League universities with acceptance rates of minus two per cent, or first-class flight tickets that cost a kidney and a half. This has unfortunately given birth to a movement in the arts that believes the more difficult to comprehend a piece of art is, the more worthy it becomes. So artists like Taylor, who are widely known, and make music that is seemingly easier to comprehend, will always be viewed as “basic”, and that will always be a negative. In a world where everyone wants to be different, where everyone is rushing to forge a ‘unique’ taste, the idea that popular musicians can also be extremely brilliant will always be incomprehensible to these gatekeeping forces. Taylor’s discography has evolved significantly over the years, and she continues to be insanely popular. If anything, it should be a testament to her brilliance as a songwriter and a musician that even after over a decade in the industry, she continues to rule the hearts of millions. Instead, it is used as a factoid to double down on her basic-ness. So I guess the cool kids on the block can get on about it with some indie record that’s much cooler than hers, but I for one will not be Shaking her Off.

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

COLUMN

Written by Josh Abbey “What, announce a policy without a slogan? Are you mad?”—overheard from Scott Morrison’s office, presumably. There’s a problem with slogans in politics: when political slogans age into accepted wisdom and the taint of ideology is forgotten, political partialities can be passed off as facts of nature. Of course, arguments are much easier when your opinions appear to be cold, impartial facts. Thus, for politicians who use language like Play-Doh in pursuit of this charade, the slogan is often their preferred technique. It’s hardly a revelation that politicians have a way with words. With fantastic intricacies, we can say things that we would ideally avoid. Two-time(ing?) Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s “detailed programmatic specificity” was presumably straight out of some Observational Behaviour exam notes he found on the net. Yet, it allowed him to imply that no substantial action on climate change would come out of the Major Economics Forum, without actually saying so. Linguistic alchemy is a fickle art. Where Rudd dazzles with obscurity, Liberal Party MP Stuart Robert fails through sheer nonsense. Robert revealed his inner philosophy undergrad in this tweet: “a whole of govt architecture allows us to build an ontology of capabilities across govt.” When parsed with the most conventional use of ‘ontology’, we get this delightful nonsense: “a whole of govt architecture allows us to build the study of the nature of being of capabilities across govt.” When failure in the art of words is so easy, the deceit of slogans in shrouding nonsense is rarely revealed. Some slogans manage to become household names. This is a problem when they are utter nonsense used to justify one’s political prejudices. Slogans do have a time and place. If one was employed to increase the consumption of rodents, “Save Trees Eat a Beaver,” might be a starter. And going to the polls without a slogan probably isn’t a great idea. Malcolm Turnbull’s “Continuity with Change” is a lesson for the wise. “Continuity with Change” is the essence of government; all political parties plan to change some policies and continue others. The most cunning work of words and slogans is wrought when politics and the economy meet. “The market” becomes the panacea of choice when lobbyists and “special interest” are making things awkward. “Policy must be guided by the market,” says the politician, even if the market is in fact a cartel. Political analysts Clarke and Dawe explain the energy “market” at work:

“Clarke: It was hopelessly inefficient and a few years ago it was privatised.

Dawes: Who said it was hopelessly inefficient?

Clarke: The people who wanted to buy it, Bryan.”

As terms like “the market” can mask the bankrupt reality that they stand for, so can slogans, hiding nonsense behind folksy wisdom. The term “trickle-down economics” lays bare its lack of appeal to those who won’t be getting first dibs. Who wants to live upon a trickle, one sip at a time, your thirst never to be quenched? Such is living on the fourth or fifth pressing, on whatever seeps out in the last pressing. “Why wait until everyone else has had their fun with the olives?”. One slogan is almost umbilically linked with trickle-down economics: “a rising tide lifts all boats.” “A rising tide lifts all boats.” How could one deny this paragon of reason? Or the extension of this logic to economics? Must we not bow to its sway and fall in step to the Reaganomic tune?

COLUMN

Let the wealth trickle down and the tide rise all around. Or maybe not? Perhaps behind this fine veneer, there is nothing but utter rot? Which boats benefit from a higher tide? It’s not the dinghy which runs aground, but the super yacht. The super yacht, which can now come closer in shore or cruise further upriver. Nor is the tide known to improve the quality of one’s boat. Shouldn’t we ask why the tide is rising? Perhaps the tide rises because the super yachts are bigger, there are more of them in the sea, or they are riding lower beneath the weight of riches. Wealth does not rise like the tide. Instead, the dinghy rides on the same level as the yacht beside it. The hedge fund manager soars and his shoeshine rises little. But what can one expect when the wealth only trickles down? The slogan ‘a rising tide lifts all boats’ is not some impartial fact of nature, but an ideological belief, which passes off one’s political desires as neutral facts of life. Yet, it is literal nonsense. Like many other slogans, it naturalises opinions, so that they seem the solemn dictates of nature and reason. William Blake was wise to this “naturalising” of opinions 200 years ago—

And form’d laws of prudence, and call’d them

The eternal laws of God.

Illustration by Arielle Vlahiotis

Written by E.S.

COLUMN

Ordinary Joys: Complete Beginner Ever since my brother, my sister and I were small, my Dad had a vision for us to become surfers. He had a shimmering dream of his three kids gliding down the face of waves out at sea, perfectly executing 360 degree turns with the grace and power of Kelly Slater. He has tried hard to make this vision a reality, taking us on countless holidays to the coast. On one trip, which he coined the ‘Surf Safari’, he rattled the walls of our tent at 6 a.m. each day to wake us up in time for the morning swell. He would sit patiently on the beach watching us attempt each wave; or more accurately, each tumble and nosedive. You would expect this kind of commitment from a parent with kids headed for the Olympics. Yet despite all of his attempts, we remain stubbornly below average at this beautiful, infuriating sport. My siblings say I am the worst of the three of us, and they are right. I cannot count the number of times I have returned to shore, raging at being tossed around like a ragdoll in the ferocious swell of water. There was the time I smashed my head on a rock and fumbled my way back to the sand, vision blurred. Another time, I spun around in the water to see a man hurling curse words at the sky, a huge chunk taken out of his board. I quickly realised—as he began to sling his insults towards me—that I was at fault. In the carpark, he approached us in a fury. “She shouldn’t be out there if she can’t control her board,” he said. “I’ve been watching her, she’s a complete beginner.” When Dad informed him that I had been surfing for 6 years, the man was incredulous. That day, like many others, ended with me in the back seat of the car, hair matted with sand, returning my Dad’s smile in the rear-view mirror with a childish scowl. I could have given up surfing years ago; evaded the spooling strings of disappointing days. Yet, something must have kept me going for all this time. Something beyond my Dad’s persistent hope. Out at sea, the movement of the water, swelling and swirling around my floating body, sends tiny shivers up my spine. The ocean spray catches the light, creating a mist that glows above each breaking wave. Out there, the sea and the sky merge together. Sunset spreads her warm colours into the water: peach, red, crimson. Silver schools of fish dart around, and from time to time, a dolphin’s fin appears, dipping above the surface for only a flickering moment. My worries hover somewhere unreachable, made irrelevant by my meditative focus on the waves—only the waves. Most of all, I can gulp down long stretches of unbroken time with my little brother and sister. On the quiet days, we chat out the back of the swell, rocking gently over each wave in perfect synchronisation. On the rough days, we weave our way to each other through the hissing white water, cackling gleefully at the other’s wipe-outs. In a trick of the light, I see us in our first surf classes, pink zinc smeared across our freckled noses; wriggling into our tiny wetsuits on the sand, Joe always the first to zip up and bolt for the water. I see my Dad on the shore, pumping his fist into the air each time we wobble up to a standing position. Maybe one day I will get the hang of surfing. My floundering limbs will metamorphosize into strong and streamlined vessels that propel me onto each wave. Perhaps one day Dad will look up to see me flying through a barrel, making his years of cheerleading worth it. But probably not. Still, you’ll find me out there, board pointed to where the sky meets the sea, improbably content.

Illustration by Mochen Teng

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Nomadland : Poetry in motion Written by Izma Haider One of Netflix’s haphazard movie genre suggestions I’ve always been confused by is feel-good. Common as the phrase is, unless my memory fails me, I can’t remember the last time that feeling rose organically out of a movie for me. Cue Nomadland (2020). Disclaimer: My fellow movie-goers disagreed with me. The first thing out of one friend’s mouth after seeing Nomadland was, “well that was depressing”. I turned on him, nostrils probably flaring. And I see where he’s coming from. The story of Fern (Frances McDormand) is, a lot of the time, one of loss. When the gypsum factory Fern works for closed down in the fallout of the Great Financial Crisis, her town of Empire, Nevada did too. Like so many towns dotted across America—purpose-built around factories, manufacturing plants and warehouses—Fern’s home disappeared overnight. When her husband dies, Fern calls it quits on Empire and buys a van—whom she christens Vanguard—to live out of and journey across the wide, wide West. She supports herself through seasonal jobs ranging from box-packing for Amazon to cleaning caravan park toilets. But friends, for me, this was it. Yes, there was the filth and fatal boredom, the shit in the overturned gallon bucket forcryingoutloud, the sub-zero temperatures through the van’s metal shell in your bones, and always, always the monotony. But then, the joy. The silent spectacle of a convoy of motorised nomads trawling over the dry land and the comic community of nomads taking the great North American ride. Director Chloé Zhao, master of the modern Western, is known for using non-actors in her films. In Nomadland, real-life nomads Linda May and Swankie (mononymous: like Cher, or Madonna) are monumental in both moments of comedy and poignancy. As they spin their yarns, they are reminders made flesh of the unglamorous urgency of life. These nomads are endless wells of vitality, yet they will die someday. Nomadland’s plot is the attempt to reconcile the two facts. Zhao cut her film-making teeth on Songs My Brothers Taught Me (2015) and its follow-up The Rider (2017). Director of cinematography, Joshua James Richards’ pared-back style lets the boundless West breathe and speak for itself. The quiet beauty of the endless desert pressing on Fern’s lone figure and retreating as fast as it can in all directions, as if to urge: isn’t it all worth it? McDormand is fantastic as Fern, both at her sprightly animated best and defensively over-chipper worst. As Fern reminds the preteen she used to tutor in Empire, she is not homeless, but houseless. By turns, she is warm, passive, bright, evasive, restless and meditative. It’s an astonishing performance; an awesome tribute to figures not normally found on the silver screen. As we left the cinema, returning to ourselves, like poet Maggie Millner said, “all doomed and glad and apple-eyed”, like movie-goers do, and a line from the HBO series Euphoria wormed into my head. As a recovering addict to a recently relapsed one, Ali (Colman Domingo) tells Rue (Zendaya), “You’ve got to believe in the poetry. Because everything else in your life will fail you. Including yourself.” Sometimes Fern knows the exact right thing to do or say, but often she runs when she should stay and hides from people who love her. Nomadland is infuriating, ironic but most of all—at the times Fern overcomes herself, the self-saboteur—it is joyous poetry.

Illustration by Casey Boswell

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Pe r fe ct ion i s m Written by Surabhi Mishra

Ten years ago, when I was a little pre-teen, writing was easy. Words flew on paper with the grace of a sailor navigating the ocean by the north star. I wrote stories about princesses and their knights, blog pieces advocating for the rights of the LGBT+ community in India and articles about the forgotten mysteries of the Internet. These stories never reached a coda. Looking back, that may have been part of the problem. I was so paralysed by perfectionism that I never finished anything. I’m still paralysed as I write these last few words and I’ve had the desire to bang my head against a wall at least three times now. Musing over word choices, sentence placement and the point of this piece still lulls me into inaction. Most people think perfectionism is an underlying factor of procrastination. You procrastinate because you are a perfectionist. You delay tasks because you’re afraid that they won’t be perfect in the end. The reality is that perfectionism stretches across many aspects of our lives, from careers to relationships, and after all these years, I’m now realizing that writing was not the only part of my life perfectionism affected. I’m sure many of you can relate. We’re so focused on that perfect ending, or that perfect present, or that perfect career option that we never even make a start. Even something as small as giving a gift is a chore. Last Christmas, I agonised for weeks over a Kris Kringle, a voice inside my head saying the gift needs to be perfect. It needs to be something my friend and I would love equally. I agonised over the possibilities – a shaving kit, beer brewing set, an expensive bottle of gin, another pride flag. It was all too impersonal. Nothing seemed right. I had to find the perfect gift. Impossible standards, I know. My friends told me over and over again: “Jesus, Sura, it does not need to be perfect!” But if you are anything like me, those words have the opposite effect. Being told that something is unattainable makes me want to pursue it even more. It is a dangerous habit, one that often lands me into narrow hallways with limited choices. After navigating those hallways, I’ve learned that it’s the simplest of tricks that push me into the right direction. In the end, I gave my friend a hand-drawn present. He loved it, of course. For the longest time, I shied away from choosing a major and, by extension, a career. Whatever I picked needed to be the right choice. I could not afford to make mistakes (or so I told myself). It had to be the perfect career. The one I was instantly good at. The one that fit me like a glove.

“On average, people change their career two-to-three times in their life,” my therapist told me, as we worked our way through my issues. The simple realisation that choosing a different path in the future was possible instantly helped me decide. What mattered was what I wanted to do now. I wanted to tell stories and I loved working with people. Looking back at my university career, I had immensely enjoyed the marketing class. And what is marketing if not telling stories for a brand? For now, a marketing degree it is. While simple tricks and words are helpful, living with perfectionism is a long road. When it comes to writing, I am still learning how not to be paralysed. Anyone who has taken a university writing class might remember that the first instruction you get is to always carry a medium of recording your ideas. Sceptical at first, I reluctantly followed my tutor’s advice. For the longest time, neither carrying a notebook nor jotting down my spontaneous ideas turned me into Shakespeare as I’d hoped. It did not give me a perfect beginning, middle and end. But then it slowly dawned upon me, after months of agonising and trying to perfect assignments, that it was not the act of writing down ideas that helped but changing my medium. Instead of writing on my laptop, writing in a notebook gave me a proper start and then, that start gave me a middle. Endings are hard to come by but sometimes, they settle into a ghost of their future selves and that can be enough. When we circled back to my writing issues while talking about perfectionism, my therapist asked me: “What is the worst that can happen?” “It will not be good enough,” I said. “I’ll be a failure.” “But how do you know that when you don’t even start?” “I don’t.” “It is okay for things to just be enough. Perfection can come later once you have enough.” The courage of words can sometimes be enough to nudge you out of paralysis. Just one step into the water, one steps towards your north star, toward that dream of a place that is perfection. But until we reach that place, one step at a time into the water will have to be enough.

Illustration by Rose Gertsakis

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content warning: sexism, graphic violence and gore (spoilers for Jennifer’s Body)

Jennifer’s Body : Hell is a Teenage Girl Written by Nishtha Banavalikar Horror has always been a tool to explore girlhood and female virtue. But what Jennifer’s Body (2009) does differently—and so well—is show a teenage girl in her ultimate form: brutal, cringey, flawed, and most importantly, still a child. The script narrates the story of toxic childhood best friends Jennifer, the typical hot mean girl (played by Megan Fox) and Anita/“Needy”, the friend who sort of got left behind (portrayed by Amanda Seyfried), with the added spice of demonic possession. The film opens with Needy in prison, monologuing her journey there record scratch, you’re probably wondering how I got here style. The film is excellent at toying with viewers this way. The first fifteen minutes play out like a cheesy teen flick; the two argue, there’s a monologue about how to dress the right kind of slutty and then a bar burns down. The music stops and we watch in horror as whole figures are engulfed in flames and Jennifer is led into a van. In that way women know all too well, Needy fears that Jennifer won’t come back—and that if she does, she won’t be the same. Needy returns home alone to a knock on her door. Floorboards creak, and Jennifer appears in front of Needy, ridiculously cute white outfit sopping wet with blood. Jennifer lets out a demonic scream and vomits a torrent of black, spiky tar and slams Needy against the wall. She inches towards her neck, threateningly, dark red liquid dripping from her mouth. “Are you scared?” A final push to the floor leaves Needy absolutely wrecked, then a pop-punk song plays as the film transitions to a high school science class where Jennifer appears looking incredible, smiling, joking. Needy asks if she’s alright and Jennifer flips it. “You always overreact.” Needy shows Jennifer her tar-stained nails. “You need a mani so bad.” This is Jennifer’s Body.

Jennifer is a girl at the precipice of girlhood. It’s scary, but what’s scarier is its reception. Jennifer knows her sexuality is a weapon but can’t tell whether the dagger is pointed at her victims or herself. That’s the horror of this film: this unknown thing taking over Jennifer’s mind and body mirrors her self-perception as she transitions into adolescence. She’s been conditioned to believe that her only value lies in her sexuality. Her demonic possession signifies how she’s merely a vessel of societal expectations. The title of the film rings true as Jennifer becomes less than human; a girl turned into a body. We find out what really happened to Jennifer. The band from the burned-down bar kidnapped her as a sacrifice assuming she was a virgin. (“Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? Satan is our only hope.”) They bring her into the woods where they joke and sing while brutally murdering her. But the sacrifice goes wrong—they summon a succubus and the Jennifer we know is gone. She learns from her abusers, seeing men as objects for her consumption–not people. She manipulates, seduces, murders, and then literally devours them. She becomes everything she’s feared to become as a teenage girl: indulgent in her sexuality. “I am a God,” she says, after brutally discombobulating a high schooler. Needy echoes a similar statement at the end of the film when she labels herself “loose around the edges” after experiencing the horror of awakening to her own desires. She’s the “loose woman”—feared, shunned, shamed. Men are victim to her but are also ready to throw her under the bus because of her irresistibility. This contrasts with the ideal “pure woman” who is held to an ever-unattainable standard of innocence. It’s a trap. Literal hell is where

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

Needy hates Jennifer but also understands what Jennifer has become in a way that only their shared girlhood allows. The lines of their friendship blur; Jennifer’s powers grow stronger and they share a kiss. It’s intimate in a way that makes the viewer feel like they’re encroaching—deeply intense and sensual but also terrifying. They abandon performance and let their desires overcome them. For Jennifer, it’s the moment where she’s most herself, outside her possession and societal expectations. Jennifer plays with her hair and everything Needy has built up crumbles. “I’m a really good friend,” Jennifer says, but Needy no longer believes it. Needy loves her, enough to see her as the scared girl she is instead of a monster. But this is a horror film and Jennifer is a Literal Demon. Needy can only save her by killing her. This culminates in the final scene of any high-school flick; the dance (with a Panic! At the Disco soundtrack, of course).

focused on the violent use of that sexuality as a weapon against others, and eventually, herself. The film so excellently illustrates the duality of girlhood: both victim and monster, Jennifer is manipulative but also manipulated. Throughout her life, Jennifer, though seemingly having “had it all”, was used—from her status to her body. That, in less eloquence, was palpable to me as a child and remains pivotal in fine-tuning my understanding of desire and sexuality today. Girlhood is brutal and teenagers are hell, but more horrifying than them is the society that savagely plucks the humanity out of girls and then persecutes them for it.

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there’s no right answer and everything’s always wrong. Young women are delusional, obsessed with hormones and sex, while old women are not to be taken seriously because they’re manipulative, witches. This message is driven home when Jennifer reveals she was never a virgin—that never mattered. It was when she was abused that her succubus transformation occurred.

To spite Needy, Jennifer seduces Needy’s boyfriend Chip and leads him to an abandoned pool house. Needy dives into the water to save Chip (therefore choosing him) and Jennifer goes berserk. There’s a brilliance to their final fight in both the physical and emotional action. They know each other’s weaknesses and insecurities so well and weaponise them in the way girls do best. Teenage girls truly are hell. “She can fly?” “She’s just hovering, it’s not that impressive.” “God, do you have to undermine everything I do?” Needy chases Jennifer down and deals the final blow, a box cutter to Jennifer’s heart. She looks right into Needy’s eyes as she dies and something breaks. Jennifer’s BFF necklace snaps off as she falls to the ground. “My tit...” Jennifer gasps. “No, your heart.” To the end, Jennifer’s self-perception remains warped. Jennifer’s mum finds Needy atop Jennifer, blade in her heart, and Needy is arrested for murder. We pan to the present; Needy breaks out of prison and, consumed by rage, hunts down the remaining band members, murdering them as brutally as they did Jennifer. She brings down hell on Jennifer’s abusers. And though we saw Jennifer literally murder, destroy and tear apart people and families, there’s poetic justice in their deaths. I recall feeling absolutely devastated by the film’s ending. There was something so tragic about how they fell victim to the whims of those around them—more horrific than the overt gore. Jennifer was always drowning in sexual imagery but the film never criminalised her for it. Rather,

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

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content warning: violence, racism, Islamophobia, genocide, mentions of the Christchurch attack, religious extremism, and the Holocaust.

Tackling Tribalism and Managing Mob Mentality Written by Ramesh On the savannah, our ancestors’ tribes could afford to hold dogmatic ideas and be violent because the consequences of their tribalism were limited to their immediate surroundings. But due to the increasingly interconnected nature of modern society, hostile groups may form independent of physical proximity, grow at unprecedented speeds, wield significant influence, and cause widespread harm. For example, the spread of anti-Muslim hate groups has resulted in events such as the 2019 Christchurch shooting. Thus, it becomes imperative to understand our own tendencies towards group membership and mob mentality. We must identify how they may cause harm and learn what we can do to reduce our chances of being drawn into a destructive environment. Throughout our evolutionary past, we have been able to survive and prosper due to our ability to work together in groups. Aided by language, members of groups could organise themselves, divide labour, provide mutual protection, and support one another in multiple ways; we became profoundly social. When engaging in rituals, hunting, or facing the threat of an enemy tribe, we could band together and form a “hive mind.” In a hive mind, members cease to think as individuals, and become subservient to the larger collective, with the tribe identity superseding individual identity. Ant and bee colonies, while much less complex than us, are simple examples—the colony becomes a single unit. Members who acted selfishly risk ostracism, losing social support, access to shared resources, and potentially their life. These pressures result in a strong, innate tendency for us to become “tribal” under the right circumstances. Modern, innocuous manifestations of this tendency include engagement in group activities ranging from

peaceful religious practices to mass singing and dancing. However, some manifestations of this tendency might be more dangerous. We may fight in civil wars, protest violently, or be radicalised by online echo chambers. Situations of the latter highlight the potential for our tribal tendencies to disrupt the functioning of modern society. Fortunately, there are several factors which indicate the dangerous potential of group tribalism and a few psychological processes individuals can identify and resist engaging in. An important factor which enables potentially dangerous developments is moral disengagement. In group contexts, this is when people act in ways they might consider immoral or unethical were they not part of a group, and create rationalisations for doing so. An example is religious extremists. These radical groups have rationalisations based on their “religion” that justify the killing of innocent people. They may morally disengage from their actions by seeing non-believers as deserving of punishment or killing. Rationalisation for moral disengagement may also occur via dehumanisation, where people are seen as “less than human.” Dehumanisation allowed the otherwise peaceful Germans to kill Jewish people in the Holocaust, with the propaganda machines calling them “rats”. In Western societies, rats are traditionally perceived as dirty carriers of disease, and not worthy of moral consideration. Beliefs characterising an outgroup as evil or inferior in some way may thus provide sufficient rationalisation for moral disengagement, thereby allowing normally “moral” people to engage in unethical behaviour. Furthermore, peer pressure within a group combined with the danger of being ostracised for dissent may push individuals towards hostility and violence.

Illustrated by Kitman Yeung

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Feeling accepted and having a sense of belonging is a fundamental human need, but this need may stifle our ability to act independently. We may think differently to the larger group, but because we want to maintain the approval of group members, we conform. This may lead to “groupthink”, a psychological theory first explored by Irving Janis in the early 1970s. In groupthink, individual critical thought is suppressed due largely to social pressure to maintain conformity. Because consensus ideas are not adequately questioned, conclusions formed by the group may be inaccurate and potentially dangerous. In addition to this, people may also become “deindividuated” in groups. When deindividuation occurs, individuals lose self-awareness and their identity merges with the crowd. This creates feelings of anonymity, with responsibility for individuals’ actions being diffused among the group. This occurs routinely in crowds of sports fans, where individuals cheer as one with the crowd. Deindividuation may also contribute to destructive outcomes even in situations where people have good intentions, such as when police cars and buildings were destroyed during the largely peaceful 2020 U.S. Black Lives Matter protests. The individual perpetrators would not have been so violent were they not immersed in a “mob”, where responsibility becomes diffused.

example. Supporting one’s team is usually harmless and provides valuable entertainment and connection, but things can turn ugly with the occasional outbreak of brawls and verbal abuse. When things get heated, fans must remember that their individual identity is separate to their sports allegiance. They should block the deindividuation process, resist the peer pressure to attack the opposition, and avoid any rationalisations for hostility. In contrast, we must be careful if a group consistently displays these characteristics. Allowing ourselves to succumb to our tribalism in these contexts may lead us to become hateful, destructive, or violent. Given the increasing level of power groups have today, it is imperative we learn to identify when it is important to resist our innate tribalism and exercise our ability to act upon our unique individuality and critical thought.

If a given group does not display these attributes, it is likely safe to join the larger identity and reap the psychological rewards of connection and social support. Most non-political university clubs fall under this category, and other examples include music festivals, peaceful religions and health groups. However, it is important to note that groups may be safe at times and dangerous at others. Sports fans are one such

Illustrated by Kitman Yeung

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Statue of a Woman, or Womankind? Written by Daisy Norfolk

The unveiling of 18th century writer and philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft’s statue in north London should have been a moment of triumph after years of campaigning by Mary on the Green, a movement dedicated to celebrating Wollstonecraft’s work. However, the statue by controversial artist Maggi Hambling presented the same tired depictions and themes that have plagued the portrayal of women in the art world for centuries. Wollstonecraft is regarded as a proto-feminist icon, known for her women’s rights advocacy, most notably for A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792), contending that women were just as capable and valuable to society as men when afforded the same education. This is the first and only statue dedicated to Wollstonecraft, but from intent to execution, it highlights the frustratingly standardised portrayal of women in art as women first, and individuals second.

Women as a Collective

There is a lengthy history of men being depicted specifically, as individuals, and women being depicted to represent “womankind,” or women in general. Unfortunately, Hambling’s tribute conforms to these expectations. The statue of Mary Wollstonecraft portrays a generic, nondescript woman stationed atop a metallic wave of female forms, intermingled and indistinguishable from each other. Hambling states the purpose was not to capture Wollstonecraft’s likeness; rather, “it’s a sculpture about now, in her spirit”. Similarly, Bee Rowlett—writer and chair of the Mary on the Green campaign—defended the work which was intended to represent the “birth of feminism”. It’s worth asking why a dedication to Mary Wollstonecraft must represent the “spirit” of early feminism and not her life or achievements as a writer and philosopher. When we consider men such as Winston Churchill, we find a celebration of an individual commended for both his actions and specific attributes—not for mankind, nor for men. He is highly personified in statuary form, depicted with his trademark cane, coat, and wide stature. Furthermore, Wollstonecraft is widely considered the “mother of feminism”. We can see similar attributes ascribed to men such as Freud, who is often considered the “father of modern psychology,” yet the Hampstead statue of him manages to simultaneously capture his likeness and the gravitas of his contributions—all while remaining clothed. Comparing this to faceless Wollstonecraft statue, it sends a message that men are appreciated as individuals, but women only as members of a collective.

Nudity Distinguishing a Woman

Women have historically been underrepresented as artists while overrepresented in nude artwork. The most manifest commentary on this issue can be seen in the Guerrilla Girls poster Do Women Have To Be Naked To Get Into the Met. Museum? which aptly details that “less than five per cent of the artists in the Modern Art sections are women, but eighty-five per cent of the nudes are female”. Not only does Hambling’s statue follow this precedent, but the physical characteristics of the woman at the apex of the statue fly directly in the face of Hambling’s justification for the lack of clothing: “she’s Everywoman, I’m not defining her in any particular clothes”. It’s a shame “Everywoman” is an ethnically Caucasian, slim-built, toned, young, able-bodied, cis-gendered, nude woman. Using female nudity as the poster for the “beginnings of feminism” directly contributes to a shallow misunderstanding of feminism as a “bare-breasted fight”. This is not to say that nudity and the female form is not an important aspect of feminist debate. But it is highly reductive to intentionally depict such a broad concept as “the birth of feminism” using the nude female body, and inappropriate to reduce the achievements of a prominent proto-feminist writer and philosopher such as Wollstonecraft to such a narrow exhibition. Alongside men depicted as generals wearing military garb, politicians giving speeches—the distinguishing feature by which Mary Wollstonecraft is immortalised in Hambling’s statue is the fact that she was a woman. The inscription on the base of the Wollstonecraft statue reads: “I do not wish women to have power over men but over themselves” words from A Vindication of the Rights of Woman (1792). Perhaps it should read: “Mary Wollstonecraft, a woman. She also liked to write.” One could roll their eyes and sigh at how a dedication to a women’s rights advocate and proto-feminist thinker ended up representing anything but that.

Women as the Instruments of Achievement

Campaigners have justified the lack of individual resemblance to Wollstonecraft by suggesting that it opposes the “traditional male heroic statuary”. I can appreciate the sentiment of trying to break away from the typical overt and ostentatious statuary style that emphasises the likeness of the subject above all else. But Hambling’s statue does not challenge the way we commemorate people, or explore how monuments privilege men in style and form. Instead, it plays into the narrative of disregarding women’s achievements as their own. While Wollstonecraft’s accomplishments themselves are celebrated in the symbols of feminist thought, she is treated as a footnote to this achievement. Why can we not unapologetically raise a woman up on a pedestal and appreciate her: her likeness, personality, and achievements—like we do when we commemorate men? A man is the achievement, a woman is just the vessel of an achievement. This is the underwhelming message Hambling’s statue sends.

Source: Paul Childs/REUTERS

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Artwork by Camille Allen

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Art Musings: Monumental Questions Written by Lisa Jacomos Looking beyond the COVID-19 pandemic, the year 2020 may well be known as the year of the monument. In previous years, there had been little international debate surrounding the continued presence of colonial monuments—a representation of a bygone and problematic history. Indeed, in 1927, writer Robert Musil famously proclaimed that “there is nothing in the world so invisible as a monument”. Yet 2020 saw monuments suddenly and violently thrust into the spotlight, particularly as part of the growing international Black Lives Matter movement. The movement itself has a longer history, yet it cannot be denied that the activism of 2020 was very much wrapped up in the symbolism of the monument. As part of these protests, statues of problematic figures were toppled in the United States and the U.K. Closer to home, the days leading up to 26 January have been a time of public protest in Australia for the past several years, annually renewing the debate around Indigenous sovereignty and inequality. And here in Melbourne, the St Kilda monument to Captain Cook has become a popular target for iconoclastic statements. For Melbourne-based contemporary artist, Nina Sanadze, witnessing the fervour brings back painful memories. Born in the Georgian Soviet Socialist Republic, Nina was forced to flee her home for Moscow during civil unrest in the early 1990s. “I was about fifteen. Tanks were going past my balcony and I was just hiding, trying to see. I was pretty scared. It was pretty loud. A hundred people died in the clashes. There were just bombs and kind of burning around the government building.” As Communist regimes fell across the Eastern Bloc, citizens witnessed the toppling of monuments to Soviet heroes intertwined with the violence against the broader population. Drawing from these formative years, Nina’s artwork centres around exploring the physicality and the narratives of public monuments in different societies. In her 2020 installation, Curtain Call, Nina brings together her Soviet past and her post-colonial Australian present. The work displays the disembodied marble head of Tsar Alexander II between two aluminium silhouettes of Nina’s own creation. These silhouettes are simplistic representations of the enormous monuments to Queen Victoria and her son Edward VII in the Melbourne Botanical Gardens. By representing the figures together, Nina draws attention to the familial ties between the former and present imperial houses of Europe and invites us to consider their respective histories. Where the Romanov dynasty in Russia fell violently, the British monarchy still exists. An extra layer is added to the work when the story of the marble head is revealed. Discarded in the 1920s during Georgia’s period of forced Sovietisation, the head was rescued by future Soviet state sculptor, Valentin

Topuridze. Topuridze and his descendants kept it safe for the next hundred years until gifting it to Nina. In addition to the marble head, Nina was gifted the remaining models for Topuridze’s communist sculptures, which she now uses extensively in her work. However, things have changed dramatically since Nina began exploring monuments through her art. This change in thought has directly impacted Nina’s work, leading to the cancellation of one project, Grass Monument, which she had been developing for close to a year. In an attempt to neutralise the controversial St Kilda monument to Captain Cook, Nina had been working with the Boon Wurrung Foundation to replace the foreign grass around the monument with a garden of fauna indigenous to the region. “The Kikuyu grass is the most colonial symbol you can imagine. It’s taking away the diversity and invaded very quietly. It’s a very pretty looking garden, but actually it exterminated everything that was there before. To me, that is pretty scary.” At the time of the proposal, Nina’s artwork was symbolically progressive, “poetically” moving forward in the only way that seemed possible. Yet, since the development in the monument debate, the foundation has withdrawn its support. Nina has respected this decision declaring that instead of the installation, “the proposal is the outcome, a well-intended gesture and some grass-food for thought.” The cancellation of Grass Monument and the increased discussion around monuments helps Nina to constantly reassess her thinking around monuments. “It taught me there is no real answers. I followed each monument’s falling and I think each monument has its own story.” However, Nina does have one strong opinion: that the monuments should fall until there is deep change within society. “It seems joyful that finally people can go and [topple monuments] and vent their absolute frustration. But the community becomes divided and it feels like war. I’m scared of conflict where people just kill each other for whatever ideology and for whatever history that hasn’t been dealt with. That’s my trauma coming from civil war.” While Nina’s Soviet past has caused her to be cautious at the sight of falling monuments, it also offers her unique perspective on the debate. “When all the people went to pull down the Soviet monuments, there was this truth telling, but we never got to the bottom of it. In the end, they wanted to bring back Stalin. The monuments should go when we’ve genuinely made the changes on the inside rather than superficially removing them and not dealing with the history, not having a museum of the genocide that happened. Not telling that story. Just removing one or two monuments, that’s not going to do it.” Learn more about Nina’s work at ninasanadze.com.

Illustration by Melana Uceda

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content warning: rape and anti-Black racism (spoilers for Netflix’s Bridgerton)

Review: Bridgerton ’s Gross Mishandling of Consent Written by Amber Meyer

Netflix’s new series Bridgerton—hyped up as Gossip Girl in period clothing—reeled viewers in with spicy sex scenes and racial diversity. Despite not being able to tell the Bridgerton brothers apart at first, I was hooked. But the beautiful costumes and catchy violin covers immediately turned unsettling as the show passed over its most controversial scene—the rape in episode six. Let me step back and provide a little context. The show is based on Julia Quinn’s 2000 novel, The Duke and I. It is produced by Shonda Rhimes and adapted by Chris Van Dusen (Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal). Its main storyline follows the fake-dating trope, in which protagonist Daphne Bridgerton (Phoebe Dynevor) and the Duke Simon Basset (Regé-Jean Page) pretend to court each other but accidentally fall in love. While Daphne is the fourth in a loving family of eight children, the Duke faced an immensely traumatic upbringing. After years of emotional abuse from a father fanatical about lineage and dukedom, the Duke vows to let the family line die with him. Before marrying Daphne, he makes it clear that theirs will be a childless union. Like many other young women depicted in the show, Daphne has no reproductive knowledge before entering marriage. After many steamy sex scenes—under the rain, on the estate’s prim and proper lawns, even atop a library ladder—she realises that Simon has been using the pull-out method to prevent pregnancy, and seemingly takes matters into her own hands. Halfway through one session, Daphne stops Simon from pulling away, ignores his cries for her to wait, and forces him to impregnate her without his consent. This is rape. Holding a partner down to force ejaculation and conception is rape. Yet, as quickly as it happens, the act is over and the camera lens shifts to Daphne. We watch her tear up and sit as audience to her heartbreak: “You took my future from me, the one thing I wanted more than

anything... [You knew that] becoming a mother, to have a family of my own one day … was all I ever wanted.” The flash of hurt on the Duke’s face is superseded by her outrage. Daphne emphasises the Duke’s duplicity in saying he can’t have children when he really meant that he wouldn’t. For me, the significance of this distinction collapses if we are to regard Simon’s emotional trauma as highly as we would any physical trauma. Vox writer Aja Romano aptly describes the ethical issues at play. “It’s clearly intended to spell out the intricacies of informed consent, but none of Simon’s duplicity justifies the way Daphne pulls his secret… One bad moment of uninformed consent does not justify a moment of non-consensual sex.” The cinematic devices used in a previous scene of attempted assault against Daphne by the presumptuous and unpleasant Lord Berbrooke are nowhere to be found. There is no dark foggy night, no dread-inducing music. The beautiful Daphne and the handsome Duke are married. They love each other. It doesn’t feel like a rape scene. I don’t think it was intended to be one either, which makes the script infuriating in retrospect. Part of Bridgerton’s initial appeal was found in its close examination of of the social norms of the 1800s. There’s female agency, women seeking more to life than marriage, and even an exciting whisper of queerness. So tell me why I had to rewind the rape scene and make sure it wasn’t a trick of the candlelight. Like many onlookers, I felt manipulated into siding with Daphne. In the book, The Duke and I, the violations are more obvious; Simon was drunk when Daphne felt an “intoxicating surge of power” to take advantage of him. In the adaptation, series creator Van Dusen removes the clear markers of sexual assault and justifies including the scene as a way to present complicated and imperfect female characters. According to Van Dusen: “We felt that the female characters on this show—Daphne, especially—should be allowed to do just that. She should be flawed. She should be able to make questionable choices.”

Illustration by Zoe Lau

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In response to the argument that Daphne violated Simon’s consent, Van Dusen continued,

children despite Simon’s clear resistance is framed as empowering.

“I think part of the scene’s design was to raise conversation. The conversation that this scene has brought up around consent is an important one to be having. It’s one that we encourage audiences to engage in.”

“[It prioritizes] Daphne’s white womanhood over Simon’s feelings as a survivor of abuse.”

For a show that made female empowerment its cornerstone, it did little to demonstrate the consequences of autonomy. Daphne simultaneously gained sexual awareness but took no responsibility for assaulting her husband. The gravity of her actions goes unacknowledged; Van Dusen’s argument of showing character flaws is hollowed by the way Daphne is never blamed for the harm she caused. Daphne does not apologise to Simon and argues with her mother about not being given sufficient knowledge on what she calls “marital relations”. Furthermore, the show does not hold any space for the male character to have trust issues or hesitations before getting into bed with Daphne again. If the genders were reversed and conception was forced on a female character, I doubt the show creators would have treated the scene so lightly. Furthermore, what initially seemed like racially conscious casting only replicated the harms of colourblindness in the media. Here, colourblindness means pretending race doesn’t exist or has no impact on the characters. Colourblind approaches can include swapping out a few supporting characters while preserving the white-centric storyline, tokenising characters to tick “diversity boxes”, or, in this instance, ignoring the systemic power imbalance between white people and BIPOC. In Bridgerton, we get a brief explanation of why Black people and white people were equal in class at the time; the King fell in love with a Black woman and elevated all Black people and other people of colour to the same social level as their white counterparts. There’s a cheesy line about how love conquers all, but the show was otherwise silent on racial dynamics.

Salem mentions the racist roots of this trope, wherein Black men are portrayed in the media as aggressive and untrustworthy. At the same time, the protection of white women’s innocence is used to justify violence against Black men. Historically, a white woman’s cry of foul play has been weaponised to justify lynchings. In fact, the pedestal of innocence on which white women are placed further buries the harms that Simon suffers at the hands of his wife. As such, Bridgerton enjoys the clout of having a Black male lead while ignoring the injustices that Black people have endured (and continue to endure). Predictably, sexual assault by a white woman against a Black man gets scripted as a plot device. Instead of having those important conversations, as Van Dusen claims, the show merely reproduces the outdated tropes. If Bridgerton took the time and energy to appreciate the nuances of the topics covered, such as interracial marriage and female-onmale or marital rape, then perhaps it wouldn’t have failed on the very promise it tried to deliver. It might have actually been a show that championed the theme of consent. So, to the readers excited for a second season, I kindly ask you to exercise caution. This show is based on a half-hearted attempt at social and cultural awareness. While the show creators may claim they were sparking conversation, they had a responsibility to do more. True depictions of female empowerment do not come at the cost of violence against Black men. *This review was originally published online.

As a non-Black writer of colour, I don’t feel informed enough to talk at length on this point. Instead, I borrow from writer Merryana Salem’s critique. Accordingly, Daphne’s determination to have

Illustration by Zoe Lau

ART

Piderum endis delest eatet pe rero omnihicimus quis ratemol uptatem quia si totas endici omnima quatiore quianda non cusdae sequae solorro te modit aliqui res iliquosandi ab iumet, vit, si cust aspedi veliam qui cus ipit, as sita dolore, intis sim eleseque ea vellab iduntin nobit adio. Ab ipisquia nam aut ut laudi nimus sequatempore nonet et facestis dolendae nectotam et archil maxim repelec eribust idipsae vellanis mo quam alitassum qui tem volo ius ex exerfer natquos ex eat aut que net harum excea doles vendant assimus utem non neceatis quibus. Is aliatem reces dolupie nisquod ignihil idigeni mpores estinullaut aceatiis corehenis et haris doluptat erchit ad ent, sit, odigendit, officie ndeliti ateceptatus, optasperat eum endis doluptature nonsequi con peria et ea nos veri nihicab orectiassim nost, totatem endisto etur? Neque pliquid et rem unt, con eicatur andebis aut laborectur? Solupti orpore, quis quat. Quaestr uptaqui te eribus molest, ommolutem ea doluptatur accum voloresecte maiore vident facepel molut aspe eum et, officte dolupti santus seni quae qui consequi adignim olesequid ut eosape volore, od modicabo. Perum quide lab invenda vit voluptatquam volore as autas rerovid mo officil mos rae nullicae perum es es maximint aut mo cor repero beaquiderum cus ipiet aut volupis enduciis di con perion et as enet volorit ditatiatur sum evenis consedit am quunt int, veliqui aturit ex et et ipis dolora velessi cus doluptatus aut ad utatum ipitae doloreri oditet aut escipid magnien ienditature represt auta volorenis poratiu restotaspe licit, audae volupti onseque evelit faccullit dolecer ferspis audae. Et harchiciur, sae sam ius eumendaecte ipsae volupta quis de ventinum ata sin cor audis ea qui offic to quae asOptaeper

Eye for an iris By Elmira Cheung (@mirakurutea) watercolour and gouache on 300g/m2 paper 193mm x 293mm 2021 38

ART

Second Journey II By Rebecca Suares Acrylic on canvas 50 x 50cm 2020 39

NON-FICTION

Overpopulation Myths Written by Lucy Williams

Overpopulation can be defined as an excess of people on the planet, and the assumed environmental, social and/or economic collapse that results. It is often followed by ideas and actions about curbing such population dilemmas. So, why is this idea an issue? Overpopulation is a difficult discussion, but the conversation today has one key problem: it assumes that an increase in human numbers always increases destruction at the same rate.

The Math

Environmental writer Ketan Joshi admits that the math has some logic in his review of David Attenborough’s new film, A Life on Our Planet. He notes, however, that this worldview stems almost entirely from the wealthy, white Global North: “those expressing concerns about population don’t include themselves in the wishlist of deletion. This is about other people.” As an Attenborough fangirl I became defensive upon reading this review of the naturalist’s most recent offering, which, despite its flaws, Joshi labelled “well worth your time.” But, it cannot be denied that Joshi raises some vital criticism of the overpopulation argument that is rife in environmental circles. Say, do you think you produce more or fewer emissions than the average human? When I think of my own life, which has been privileged even by Australian standards—a life of international holidays, the often necessary but carbon-intensive car journeys around a massive country, exorbitant food waste, electricity costs, and general overconsumption—I know my environmental impact is not at all equal to many others on the planet. The Guardian found that taking one long-haul flight generates more carbon emissions than is produced by the average person in dozens of countries annually. When you up those airmiles to the kinds of distances you’re likely to fly from Australia to Europe or America, you’ll overtake the annual emissions of the average citizen in around 56 countries… with one trip! The birth rate in the Global North might be lower on average, but the consumption is not, and that consumption is a huge driver of environmental destruction. It is, therefore, highly hypocritical for us to be pushing for fewer births in the Global South as a response to the increasing human consequence on our environment. There may be some truth to the science that it is more difficult to house and feed a large population, and that more people produce more emissions, but the blame and the solutions are way off. And even the science is debated.

The Science

A University of Washington study in The Lancet projected that the world’s population would peak in 2064 at 9.7 billion, then fall by 2100 to 8.8 billion. They even posit that planned increases in education and birth control access could reduce this to a population of 6.3 billion by 2100. While there is hypothetically enough food capacity for those peak numbers, we already struggle to feed everyone. Hunger today is complex and linked to poverty, corruption, and political or environmental instability. Solutions to these massive issues are just as intricate and complicated as the problem they aim to remedy, but are not inherently based on having fewer people. Rather, they talk of political action to improve access to food, more sustainable practices globally to fight climate change, and the encouragement of democratic and egalitarian systems of governance. While it’s far from a simple revelation, the blame placed on the Global South’s birth rate is misplaced. Food waste, unsustainable diets and climate change caused largely by the wealthy West and Global North are predominantly driving the inequality, poverty and instability of the rest of the world. We also mustn’t forget calls for a reduced population are marred by a particularly dark, problematic history of eugenics, genocide, forced sterilisation, classism, and racism.

The History

Non-consensual birth control or inhumane ways of lowering population, that have been both suggested and attempted in the past, are evidently not a solution. This is the problematic legacy of previous attempts at addressing “concerns” around population. Malthus, the father of the overpopulation argument, notably spoke of “court[ing] the return of the plague” to control and limit the number of poor people. This ugly history has focused on specific human lives, notably of those who barely contribute to emissions, and has coupled up with the poisonous ideologies of colonialism, racism and white supremacy. It has not been aimed at the frequent flyers, CEOs, or the high-consuming richest ten per cent, who are alone responsible for around half of global emissions, but at the poorest and most vulnerable, overseas and in our own communities.

The Future

While that ten per cent continue to plunder, the UN predicts that the global population will plateau through humane efforts. This follows the broad trend of increased education, particularly amongst women and smaller families. In raising the living standards of those in the Global South, the world will face the challenge of maintaining this standard of living with fewer emissions, while the Global North will have to reduce its environmental impact significantly.

Illustration by Imogen Sy

NON-FICTION

How we face these future challenges is beyond my personal capacities and the scope of this piece, but one thing I do know is that it’s vital we don’t revisit the dangers that plague our history. Communities are still recovering from the repercussions of forced sterilisation of unmarried mothers, of the poor, of those deemed mentally unwell and many others, particularly women of colour. Preventing these people from having children doesn’t prevent deforestation, or an oil spill, but a system change could. That is, change towards a system that doesn’t consume so much, one that doesn’t allow for the hoarding of wealth and the celebration of greed. The climate change issue is one of systems, rather than the number of people. Changing the systems and targeting those corporations and communities most responsible for emissions, is more humane and effective than controlling vulnerable populations, who are least responsible for the state of our planet. This is a discussion for us all. Regardless of your own reproductive choices, whether you decide to become a cat mum, adopt your brood, or have a few biological children of your own, the lone choices of one won’t save the planet. Our collective goal is clear: we need to change the systems we operate within, and change the way we, as a planet, live.

COLUMN

- Mandarin Marmalade What y o u need . ..

5 cups sugar

1kg mandarins

a few glass jars

4 cups water

1/4 cup lemon juice

W hat y ou d o . .. 1.

P u t w h o l e m a n d i e s , l e m o n j u i ce & w ate r i n a b i g p o t . Br i n g t o b o i l t h e n red uce h e at & s i m m e r f o r 4 5 m i n s w i t h a h at ( l i d ) o n .

Re m ove m a n d i e s f ro m p o t ( b u t ke e p t h e l i q u i d ! ) a n d g i ve t h e m a c h u n ky c h o p , ke e p i n g t h e r i n d b u t g e t t i n g r i d of t h e s e ed s

P u t c h o p ped m a n d i e s b a c k i n t o t h e l i q u i d y o u s aved & m e a s ure i n c u p s h o w m uc h f r u i t m i x t ure t h e re i s

Illustrated by Steph Markerink

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F o r e ve r y 1 c u p of f r u i t m i x t ure , a d d 1 c u p of s u g a r into the mix. Put it all back into the big pot.

W i t h e ve r y t h i n g i n t h e b i g p o t , c h uc k i t o n t h e s t ove ( m ed i u m / h i g h h e at ) & s t i r .

I m p o r ta n t t o ke e p s t i r r i n g u n t i l y o ur 1 0 0 % s ure a l l s u g a r h a s d i s s o l ved ( o t h e r w i s e y o u ’ l l d e s t roy y o ur pot eek) 6.

O n ce a l l s u g a r h a s d i s s o l ved , l e t i t h a p p i l y b o i l a w ay f o r a b o u t 3 0 m i n s

To te s t i f t h e j a m i s re a dy , p u t a s p o o n i n t h e f re e ze r f o r a co u p l e m i n u te s , t h e n s co o p u p a b i t of j a m o n y o ur i c y s p o o n & re t ur n t o f re e ze r f o r 6 0 s e c . J a m i s re a dy w h e n t h e m i x t ure w r i n k l e s w h e n y ou gently push it

P o ur j a m i n t o h o t s te r i l i s ed j a r s & s e a l i m m ed i ate l y .

- E nj oy ! Illustrated by Steph Markerink

NON-FICTION

Social Media: The Age of Distraction Written by Ben Smyth West’s hedonistic philosophy, then social media and smartphones are simply more invasive, efficient tools to program this philosophy into citizens. Sites like Instagram, Facebook, and Reddit are masterfully designed to maximise the time users spend on their platforms while earning revenue from advertising. They are engineered to entice the user as much as possible by presenting them with intermittently rewarding stimuli throughout the day. Renowned behaviouralist B.F. Skinner demonstrated that if rats only sometimes received rewards for actions instead of always receiving them, the behaviour was far more difficult to discontinue even if rewards stopped completely. The human brain is not engineered to receive hyper-stimulating information sporadically throughout the day (Christakis et al., 2018). The slot machine is a useful analogy. Playing on a slot machine for half an hour carries little risk. However, carrying a slot machine in your pocket and pulling on it twenty times throughout the day is a completely different behavioural pattern. Similar to pulling on a slot machine, intermittently checking social media throughout the day can worsen mental health issues, and reduce attentional capacities, slow learning and information acquisition.

“TV’s “real” agenda is to be “liked”, because if you like what you’re seeing, you’ll stay tuned. TV is completely unabashed about this; it’s its sole raison.” The American author and cultural critic David Foster Wallace uttered these words in the early ’90s. Wallace was a staunch critic of the materialism of Western culture. He believed that Western culture thought pain was an evil in itself and that pleasure was the ultimate purpose of the individual. In Wallace’s eyes, unlike in cultures where pain is a symptom of a genuine problem, the Western psyche seems to compulsively view pain itself as the problem. To Wallace, television is a mere extension of the cultural drive to anaesthetise oneself—watching sentimental and substance-less television is like taking Panadol for a toothache instead of dealing with the decaying tooth. Popular television aims to make money by appealing to as many people as possible, aiming towards spectacle instead of actual insight or personal value. According to Wallace, the West was gradually becoming an economy that elevated the ideal of the individualistic consumer: one who gratified their urges when they wanted, who aimed to accumulate commercial goods and achieve material prosperity. Of course, this model of behaviour is excellent for stimulating the economy and increasing production. However, it neglects that side of the human spirit that yearns for quiet, solitude, and self-reflection. The slow, silent death of this side of the human spirit leads to neurosis and an ever-increasing psychological uneasiness that needs to be quelled by consumption or distraction. Due to his unfortunate death in 2008, Wallace is not alive today to observe how the proliferation of smartphones and the internet has not only increased this phenomenon tenfold but globalised it. If mindless television reflects the

Apart from the well-documented neurological harms, what other effects on our lives may smartphones have? The average smartphone user spends roughly 140 minutes on social media per day. Across our lifetimes this will equate to over five years spent staring at social media. As we move into old age, we may regret not having accomplished more or left a greater impact; 40 years down the line, smartphone addicts may rub their eyes and wonder where all the time went. However, if we know that we suffer from problematic smartphone use, we can take measures to reduce it in our daily lives. I must admit that I too have suffered from digital addiction, mostly in the form of video games and YouTube. Like any addiction, I have personally found that small changes in habits can create sustainable improvements to promote healthy use of technology. First and foremost is finding enjoyable activities or hobbies that don’t involve screens. For myself, these are either hanging out with friends, or sports such as bouldering or boxing. These activities force me to get out of the house and away from screens. The second piece of advice is to schedule more time in which one cannot browse social media or the internet. Before studying, I write down the period in which I will study and force myself to set aside all distractions for that time. I no longer take my phone into the bathroom or to the gym, or when I walk my dog. I also aim to delay screen usage for at least half an hour after I wake up—my mornings usually begin with a coffee on my veranda, staring into space. Spending time “doing nothing” provides me with a crucial mental reset and the opportunity to introspect and think about problems. The ability to focus is like a muscle; it can be trained and improved or neglected and atrophied. Breaking free from digital addiction is not easy, but if we make gradual changes every day, it is achievable. And combatting this addiction is better than the alternative of a wasted, distracted life. Instead of spending hours a day staring at glass screens, we can direct this time towards activities that reward and enrich us, and create a life we can be proud of.

Illustration by Melana Uceda

content warning: sexual abuse allegations

Written by Sweeney Preston, Josh Abbey and Raina Shauki

Tall, white, rich and handsome movie star Armie Hammer probably going to be fine after latest sexual abuse allegations Following another slate of allegations against a famous, beautiful man, reporters expect to see exactly zero consequences for his actions. “Okay, he’s a bit of a deviant, but have you seen him in The Man from U.N.C.L.E? He’s a certified hottie.” —Jenny, 25 from Melbourne.

“Coffee and a dart” approved by Australian Medical Regulator, also Pfizer vaccine In a busy week for homegrown and lab-grown remedies, the popular combination of caffeine and nicotine has been certified as a proven miracle cure by the highest medical authority in the land. In a mostly ceremonial announcement, the AMR confirmed this week what most Australians already knew—that a dart and a cuppa joe goes down pretty well, aye. Also, the Pfizer vaccine got approved????? The AMR celebrated this announcement with kick-ons in the staff kitchen.

SATIRE

SATIRE-IN-BRIEF Melbourne residents literally go on holiday to Adelaide now In a bizarre twist, Melburnians have jumped at the chance to visit the COVID-safe state of South Australia. Having previously determined Adelaide a sh*thole, many Victorians have grasped eagerly at the opportunity to be anywhere but here with sanitised hands. Canberra, on the other hand, is still believed to suck.

At Scott Morrison’s request, Snoop Dogg and Bruno Mars change hit 2011 song to “One, Wild & Free” The move will come weeks after Scott Morrison solved racism in Australia by changing the lyrics of the national anthem to “for we are one and free” in an effort to better reflect the Indigenous history of the land down under. Continuing a spate of lexical power exertions, the Australian PM has somewhat confusingly reached out to the American musicians. It is understood that Morrison threatened to revoke the American stars’ touring visas to Australia should they not yield to his vocabulary demands.

The Dry becomes first genuinely good Aussie film since Da Kath & Kim Code (2005) Eric “the original Hulk” Bana’s latest movie has been met with near-universal critical acclaim. The thriller has wowed audiences Australia-wide on a scale not seen since the release of the 2005 classic Da Kath & Kim Code. A standout element of the movie is Bana’s ripping jawline… I mean gripping plotline.

85% of climate change funding spent on drastic efforts to make Attenborough immortal A leaked UN report has revealed that 85% of climate change funding is spent attempting to make David Attenborough live forever. Should making Attenborough immortal be impossible, the report’s appendix discussed alternatives. One option suggested creating Attenborough lookalikes with plastic surgery.

Gates disappointed mind control is so dull Sources close to Bill Gates report that the tech giant is unsatisfied with his 5G mind control setup. Apparently, the people Gates can now control are simply not interesting enough. Gates is reported to have remarked “I overestimated the benefit of controlling regular people. It’s little better than targeted ads on Instagram.”

Illustration by Tereza Ljubicic

SATIRE

How to Write an H1 Arts Essay Written by Sweeney Preston The Elusive H1. H1, not to be confused with H1N1—the viral disease from 2009 better known as the Swine Flu, is the top mark you can receive at the University of Melbourne. However, while H1N1 is acquired by inhaling the glycoproteins haemagglutinin and neuraminidase through droplets in the air, H1s are awarded for achieving over 80 per cent on a particular assignment. Sadly, you cannot just inhale an H1. To make the task even trickier, the quantity of H1s in some subjects is capped since you are scored against the rest of your cohort. Oh, so you thought savage competition between students was over since you left high school? Whoever said arts degrees don’t prepare you for the cutthroat horrors of late-stage capitalism was clearly an H3 student. Or worse, a commerce kid. A Newer, Superior-er Essay Structure. Lots of people like to use the T.E.E.L. method (Topic, Explanation, Evidence, Link) but I prefer to use the far more refined and intellectually sound A.S.S.B.U.M. method. The method is as follows… A – Awesome first sentence S – Sick-as second sentence S – Shit, this method is totally useless. I thought that I really could give the smug bastards who created TEEL a run for their money. Hold on, quickly, we gotta B – Back that ass up and U – Understand that there’s really only one sure-fire way of getting an H1 in literally any essay across literally any arts major and that is to simply… M – Mention Marx That wasn’t so hard, was it? I find acronyms make everything easier to remember. Disclaimer: When shooting for that oh-so-shiny H1, just remember that under no circumstances should you do anything I’ve told you to do in this article. If I get any emails from tutors telling me their students didn’t spend enough time “explaining concepts” and “providing evidence” but instead, wasted far too much of their word count “backing that ass up”—I’ll be most displeased.

Illustration by Melissa Nguyen

SATIRE

Man explaining Fight Club to you reminds you (for the fifth time) he does INDEED go to VCA! Written by Emma-Grace Clarke “Look, I’d say it’s deeper than a critique of capitalism, which admittedly is a pretty mainstream understanding of the film. See, it’s a criticism of our understanding of self and the superficial nature of the relationships that we foster due to our inherent egotism… Anyway, do you like The Cure? Hey, are you awake?”—Oliver Russel, 23, student at Victorian College of the Arts (VCA). It’s 11:23pm, and you’ve come to this gig hoping to finally understand the cloying allure of Australian garage music. But sadly, you’ve been dragged into a crowded backroom billowing with clouds of Marlboro Reds. And look at that. One Oliver Russel, a Film and Television student at VCA, is walking right towards you with the air of Jay Gatsby at one of his famous parties—if he sold ketamine and was a “really nice guy”. According to the yelling in your ear, Oliver is the foremost expert on David Fincher’s indulgent feature Fight Club. He doesn’t even think that Brad Pitt is that hot! So, he has no aesthetic bias—which is, according to Oliver, integral for professional film analysis. He’s also straight! Anyway, look, you need to know that he’s not like those other guys who like Fight Club. No way! Because they don’t follow through on its ethos. But Oliver does, and he’s straight, and he’s willing to talk about it at length, and you should be thankful! We sure were back at the Farrago office. Oliver insisted we visit him at his home, an abandoned apartment that he doesn’t pay rent for. Just what Fincher would want! There have also been whispers that Oliver has access to the backstage area—he knows the band from VCA, it’s no big deal—and has propositioned you. But don’t worry, he’s not a “base creature like other men”. No, he just wants to discuss his thoughts further with you: “Your insight is so insightful for a Melbourne Uni student!” You haven’t even said a word! How generous of him. As tempting as this is, you try to let him down gently; you’re tired, your friends left ages ago to go throw rocks at a statue of Matthew Flinders, and you don’t really want to talk about a movie— “Movie!” Oliver chortles. “Honey, it’s a film.” What a sweet thing to do, making sure you’ve got the facts! He then generously insists on getting your number, since you’re about to leave him all alone in the backroom, which is not at all a repurposed bathroom without the graffitied stalls. You just can’t wait for the inevitable, long text messages that will be oddly reminiscent of lyrics written by The Jesus Mary and Mary Chain! “He’s kind of pushy. Like, if you don’t listen to him, he might sacrifice your childhood toy to his Fincher shrine in the darkroom,” says Marcella Ferrara, one of Oliver’s classmates. “It’s got little candles and everything. I think he even sketched that guy—you know the one? That one from Mindhunter and who was also in Hamilton? But I’m down for just going along with it, I’m running on beta-blockers and iced coffee… wait, who are you again?” Well, we here at Farrago think he’s just passionate and we’d be willing to fight you on that one—if only there was some sort of club to facilitate such a thing…

Illustration by Arielle Vlahotis

Illustration by Georgia Huang

Photograph by Nicolai Bertol

Photograph by Candy Chu

Photograph by Yuwei Lin

Photograph by Sam Hadden

Photograph by Christian Theo

Photograph by Akash Anil Nair

Photograph by Mollie Crompton

Photograph by Carolyn West

Artwork by Kitman Yeung

CREATIVE

COLUMN

The Burrowing Sand Dragon Written by Zoe Keeghan

“Apep was so long and large that, even laid flat, he was taller than any human. His roar was so loud and so powerful that even the Earth would shake at its sound. The enemy of Ra and order, he emerged from below to bring darkness, thirsting for chaos and destruction. Many tried to stop him, battling through the nights. Yet, his strength was so great that, even if defeated, he would rise again the next night as though he had never been harmed.” —A History of Dragons: The Truth in Mythology by Ailuv Drah Gonz Scientific name: Draco harenae. Origin: Egypt. Diet: Omnivorous. May include vipers, scorpions, weasels, date palms and grasses. Life span: 300-400 years. Size: Up to 10 metres wide and 100 metres long. Colour: Black, dark grey or dark brown. Occasionally golden in colour. Notable features: Wingless, may be hooded like a cobra. The burrowing sand dragon is one of the largest dragons currently known. They are long, wingless beings, similar to (though significantly larger than) a snake. Their hide is nearly impenetrable, with smooth scales that closely overlap to prevent irritation from sand. They may be one single colour or spotted, with pale undersides. Dark spots are dominant on their backs, getting smaller towards their bellies; this is similar to the spotted pattern often seen on narwhals. Large, rounded eyes allow them superior vision at night, with thick, clear eyelids to protect them from sand and other debris. Native to Egypt, reports of the burrowing sand dragon extend back to at least 3000 BCE. The species is still found in Egypt, with populations also living in surrounding regions. Though able to survive for many years in the desert, they often return to the fertile land of the Nile to breed and when raising their young. The young quickly learn how to hunt, preying on small creatures by means of stealth and speed. Nocturnal beings, these dragons spend much of the day underground, buried under sand or taking shelter in rocky crevices. With keen senses, they begin their hunt at night. A favourite hunting method is to remain underground, waiting for the vibrations and shifting sands that suggest a creature above. They burst out of the sand with astonishing speed; the creature is engulfed by the dragon’s jaws, swallowed whole in a matter of seconds. With jaws that can open up to 15 metres wide, their prey is not the only thing they consume. Anything in the area around their prey may be ingested, like how a whale may accidentally consume sea water when feasting on krill. As desert-dwelling beings, burrowing sand dragons commonly ingest sand and rock. Though providing no nutritional value, these are transformed in the dragons’ stomachs in a process speculated to involve immense heat and pressure. This unusual phenomenon is described in explorer Ekscree Shon’s final letter:

“We have been following the dragon, which we have named Fortuna, for several days. She spends much of the day under the sand, nearly impossible to track. But at night, she is a creature of majesty.

She leaps from the sand and devours her prey in one graceful movement. Glistening black scales adorn her back, and silver shines on her belly. And in between, black and silver are scattered amongst each other like stars.

Though her beauty is unrivalled, we ensure to keep well back. We have seen her strength and speed, and have no desire to meet the same fate as the creatures who have crossed her path.

Then why do we follow, you may ask. For her beauty, in part. But we follow for so much more.

We follow for what she leaves in her wake.

Violet amethyst, verdant malachite, and blue-green turquoise. Such riches as we have never seen before.”

Shon disappeared shortly after. What happened to her is unknown; however, some theorise that she travelled too close to Fortuna when collecting gems, and met her demise at the dragon’s jaws. Producing gemstones is not the only remarkable feature of these dragons. Ailuv Drah Gonz suggests that Apep, one of the most well-known burrowing sand dragons, could create earthquakes with his roar. Reaching up to 126 decibels, these dragons’ roars are certainly impressive; however, causing an earthquake seems unlikely at best. Gonz also suggests that Apep could heal from any wound in a single day. It is true that these dragons are fast healers, but serious injuries often take several weeks to fully mend. It seems most likely that Gonz has overexaggerated the facts. Surely such claims cannot be true. Yet if they are, these dragons must truly be a wonder to behold.

Illustrated by Alicia Aliandy

CREATIVE

Drowned Icarus Written by Hannah Winspear-Schillings The light that drowned Icarus, when his freedom he found, was the sweetest ignorance that sent him to ground I was the quiet water the dark and silent receiver I was the waves on fire when his body was found Damp wax and melted feathers Gold like a sun half-downed Heat-struck he bore the clangour of the waves’ unearthly sound My vanity and laughter presided over his slaughter I was the god Apollo who sent him to the ground

Illustration by Birdy Carmen

CREATIVE

sugar gliders Written by Sarah Peters when we love, we will be like sugar gliders. sucking eucalyptus sap and honeydew, as though they were the only two things in the world close to our love. you will kiss my pink nose and tell me how soft this feeling is, how you would look for it everywhere between bottlebrush and banksia. when we love, it will be like family picnics spread out across the bush. watching the children collect gumnuts, we will call them our loves. each gumnut will be plain and simple at first sight, but later blossom under covers, in the dark where sweetness is home. they will flower into sparks and float on lips and feathered tips. we will hold each other. we will soar.

Illustration by Vivian Li

COLUMN 62

‘The Pier Review’ by Torsten Strokirch

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‘The Pier Review’ by Torsten Strokirch

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content warning: racism

Race Against the Odds Written by Ilundi Tinga

The Not-so-distant Colonial Past and “Post-Racism” In recent years, the idea of “post-racism” has become increasingly popular, with people often stating that “racism no longer exists”, particularly in Western countries, including Australia. I have personally experienced this. One experience I had was when I was in a college tutorial telling my peers how I have often been followed in stores, called the n-word and been made fun of for having braids. The white students responded by saying that they had never seen or experienced racism, making it non-existent to them. They also claimed Black Lives Matter was Black people victimising themselves. White Australia often uses “multiculturalism” to conceal the racism that still exists within the country. Advocating that post-racism has been achieved erases the racist experiences PoC (People of Colour) continue to face and makes the not-so-distant years of colonialism seem like an irrelevant part of history that can easily be forgotten. This is particularly hurtful in Australia’s context, as Indigenous Australians have never gotten their rightful land and Country back. Independence was never achieved, and so Australia is still colonised. My father was born in colonial Mozambique, a country bordering the east of South Africa. He fought in the war that occurred due to Mozambique achieving independence. The South African colonisers felt threatened by Mozambique’s independence, particularly as the Mozambican president had vouched to help South Africa gain its independence. I only have to look back one generation to see colonialism. The era of colonisation was not long ago, and its effects can still be felt today. However, as PoC we must continue to struggle and fight for equality in this Race Against the Odds. I wrote this poem titled “A Luta Continua” (meaning “the struggle continues”). It talks about colonialism in a more African context but can be applied to colonialism as a whole.

A LUTA CONTINUA The beating drums pump our hearts faster and faster It moves us to keep on living as it enlivens our souls We grow our wealth in the seeds cultivated by those from above The land speaks to us and spills its secrets for love We use these secrets to nourish our bowls The beating of the drums is echoed in our pounding of maize A synergy between them is formed The drums engulf us, telling us to move in many ways We flow like the river that connects our mores We feel the rhythm in our veins Our voices swallow all the pain as we sing in hurricanes

Illustration by Ailish Hallinan

COLUMN

The antelope watch us as we sleep Breasts are plump with milk for the descendants Innocence forms lumps on the backs of their Mothers’ independence Threads tied together by the fingertips of their Mothers keep them attached They listen to the hearts of their Mothers beating with the drums, It is all we know. It is all we knew. As ivory men slither into the land that shelters us Their evil intent burns the rivers and we’re left paralysed, As the beating of the drums stops. Our blood stains their flags. 300 arduous years prolonged since the drums stopped And the silence began, but like the rivers that filled up again and the land that remained beneath us, the drums began beating again With a fierce sound that was louder than bombs Our hearts that had cracked began to repair Our souls that became dormant began to erupt War was brought upon the ivory throne And for 10 years the beating of the drums Would push us to endure Our melanin shields shone As we made the ivory men atone On the day the ivory throne collapsed We rose once again and claimed the sky With our fists and shouted “A luta continua” For we would continue to fight for our neighbours Who were still in pain And so when the beating of the drums is heard A luta continua is transferred Because we will never be silenced again. “A luta continua” is Portuguese for “the struggle continues”. It was coined during the Mozambican War of Independence and was used by its leader and first Black president Samora Machel. The phrase was intended to give people hope and to encourage Mozambicans not to give up the fight for independence. After Mozambique gained independence in 1975, Machel helped Black South Africans and Zimbabweans fight in their respective independence wars, spreading the term more widely across Africa. The phrase is still used today and remains symbolically important to Mozambicans including myself.

Illustration by Ailish Hallinan

CREATIVE

content warning: death

Good Mourning Written by Sandie Ruuskanen Standing by her bed Hands clammy, clutching at my dress. Searching for him In the folds of fabric A noise escapes my mouth, an involuntary laugh “I’m going to make rice” I announce. To no one in particular Down the hall Into the kitchen The bag of rice is heavy I miss the cup and Sma ll w hite gr a in s F a l l to the ground, Like snow If I could lie down on the cheap linoleum And make snow angels I would be five again So keep still, feign sleep Soon strong arms will lift me from this cold ground— But now the rice is done And I’m blinking through the steam, from a rice cooker He picked out. And suddenly I hate rice Later I climb into bed Gooey grains sticking In my throat, weighing down My tongue It drags me deep I’m wrapped in white, until the sun hits my face Melts it away and leaves me Bare, shaking In the warm light of day Down the hall (again) My sister in the kitchen “Good morning” she says “Good mourning” I reply But I don’t think she gets it

Illustration by Torsten Strokirch

content warning: pain, illness, drugs

CREATIVE

hospital bed Written by Oscar Larkin

more food, more oranges, lemons, more of the fruit with seeds with their sly murmurs of renewal renew me with this bed renew me with these blankets, these words, these little styrofoam cups with their little liquids. pain the offer pain that writhes in its host pain that goes from wall to wall, following its lethal rhythms, hail, splinters, mirrors, season of white thorn, white knell, white wave, here, everything is lost! a mad shouting over mist and wind, colourless, obscene, stretched from life and its forces before dissolving, peaceably, water. water. ephemera in analgesic. here, they return and ask return and ask, name and date of birth are the themes of hourless evenings marked by need here (they tell me) to press a small green button or scream

Illustration by Nina Hughes

COLUMN

The Foggy Shores Written by Charlotte Waters & Lee Perkins

C a broken-off thought hovers. blowflies carve shadows as i wait inside my body, inside my bed, with no bones with which to catch— i trace shadows as he waits, the cypress-shaped, mint-green stranger in the corner, buck naked, barring a pair of spectacles and a dust-ridden bowler hat. when the sun falls, news and numbers unfold and open into a raw wound. i curse the cyclopean smoke alarm, curse the hatter, straight, striped in streetlight. the fabric of moonlight welds to my skin in triangles, illuminates a growth of ferns and spindly tree trunks. it floats over a nest in the canopy, a quaver of an eye behind the peephole.

afternoon shadows bisect evening shadows. flowers unfurl tired claws, dripping from their vase, sliding onto my carpet. a fly meanders, a bloated silhouette cleaving the limbs of the coat tree then dissolving in the eye of the smoke alarm by my door. i imagine if it ever came back, the breeze would feel like paper, cutting the edges of my cheeks, healthy and living, not like the sun’s lazy yolk—

the stranger stands guard, whistling a sea shanty. a stray blowfly perches at the centre of his nose, spreading chimes like cracked glass. welts bloom into maps of old worlds, spent eyes of old friends stirring— he swats the fly, shifts his feet and chuckles. ‘would you like your shoes ironed, ma’am? they’ll be expecting you soon.’ he takes my hand, oversees my ascent to the circular trapdoor in the ceiling. something glitters deep in the wells of his irises. sleep settles on my cranium, my shoulder blades and shins.

Illustration by Rohith Sundaresa Prabhu

COLUMN

of Our Bedrooms ‘My Coat-Rack is Called Jerry’

L He tells me this only when I ask him, Usually in the underpants rush To the living room computer, Sometimes when the candle is burning Dressed still but he doesn’t sleep just stares. Bondeau-on-Shore, In the woods there ‘cross Hemnes! Past scratched in days Soles hollowed, new landlubber. A still butler, Still my best friend. Still as the evening ocean Says my shoes need ironing, Need to shine my hats. Jerry floats, is stargazing. On his cot, under the room

But never a sea shanty come butler, Serving with forte, at Bondeau-on-Shore. Chip off the old drifted wood But they loved his manners, all four. No questions, stoic, I’ll put my flower stains there. White nubs, ear to ear, This’ll be my suit and tie Specs always straight, Here, the breeze will confide. Zest, always cinnamon, egg on toast and blowfly, Shadows from your hoodie, dear Jerry!

But I wish he’d sweep more, Taxing, really, For holding coats and making comments. Used to scrub Not even grime nor dirt but bad manners, Huffy gestures, Scrubbed hard. But the guests still growl. He likes it quiet but every time I close my door Vibrations make him chime in C minor My least favourite key. At Bondeau-on-Shore, the bells would ring in C minor, and the masters, Moustachioed and perfulorous, would ding and tell If the learners were yet welded. It’s weird, He even hangs around during sex, Embarrassingly watchingnotwatching in the Corner seas breaking levies cracking She doesn’t notice. Jerry hands her my dressing gown. Thank you, Jerry.

Illustration by Rohith Sundaresa Prabhu

CREATIVE

Rolled Together Written by Izma Haider

Unseen, I saw them as a spot of stillness in the sea of girls and suited commuters: Mum’s face a mask of serenity and Andy with his hands behind his back. I could’ve run right there. Gotten a place on Merrill Ave, swapped fetid city air for switchboard girls and pretty receptionists. A job and a discount to buy dresses. Dresses to wear to the Italian club, dance in and spill out into streets. Andy broke into a smile. Something in me deflated. The crowd parted for his big, friendly figure. I hugged him fiercely. Over his shoulder, Beatrice smiled at me gap-toothedly. Coming home: into that wet bark small, winding streets wet with bitter rain, green green. The chimney still swelled from the hipped roof. The porch wrapped ever around. Golden wattle dripped from kempt acacia trees, over the eaves, and stained the underlying hedges and saplings. In the yard, Missy ran circles around Beatrice until she got tired and fell to the ground, fanning her skirt around her. The old chocolate lab kissed her. Pushing curtains aside, easing the window open, with effort, I felt: yes, a place is a person. The front door opened and closed. Dad squeezed me and apologised for not picking me up. He’d gotten thinner, almost rangy. He had a moustache. “Do you like it?” “It suits you.” His upper lip twitched appreciatively. “Found this one loitering in front, think it belongs to you.” Eugene smiled easily, breaking out of his lean against the doorway and approaching me like Missy would a dead bird. “Hey.”

He chewed. “Can’t remember,” Eugene looked at my face and paused, “I’ll ask someone about it,” he said mildly. I squeezed his hand. * “I was in labour for 36 hours. Your dad, bless his heart, steps out—to get me juice. Whenever you come home and he sees you for the first time, it’s that look on his face, gobsmacked, holding that popper like an idiot.” She took my hand, “When Eugene sees you, it’s the same face. He loves you.” Dad was showing the boys what he’d been doing on the Monaro. The faint sounds of men and metal in the garage were heard from the dining table by a mother and daughter, over dishes and bread plates to be washed. * Then: daybreak, in four heavy feet on the porch. Two shadows walked careful around the house, cleaving the yellow light careless on the table. Mum courtesy-smiled at you through the window. After lunch, I brought out cold water and orange quarters. We had an acre or so, a small city of orange, mango and nectarine trees. Your dad stood next to the fence, secateurs in one hand and the other on his hip, proud figure borne to his left. His knee’s going again. You crested the hill, and walked over leisurely, stupidly—you slack-jaw you apathetic you idiot—slow-careless enough to hurt me. I turned to you like a well-oiled machine. “Danny.”

He furtively hugged me, “Hi, you.” Mum set the pasta pot on the table and kissed Dad. We sat down to lunch. Mum remarked I’d gotten awfully tan. I smoothed down Beatrice’s baby hairs. I told them about hockey. I told them I was student director of this year’s play, along with Madame Davis. We did The Crucible. I was Giles.

“The names of the mountains. I might know them; we did New Zealand in geography.”

A fly landed on the tray. I watched it crawl over the orange flesh. * Two weeks later, I saw him at the shops.

“Eugene,” Dad boomed, too-loud like a father. “How was the rugby tour?”

“I’m going to pop to the chemist, meet me in the car,” Mum said, rummaging in her bag.

“Yeah, good, we landed in Christchurch, stayed there for two weeks—well, it was pretty even in training, they’re tough boys, but we got ‘em in finals. Three-day mountain hike there, bit brutal. Then, off to Wellington for two weeks, stopped for a day summit hike en route to Rotorua, stayed there for about a week—yessir, we won.”

I glanced at Danny, craned like a waterbird over the confectionery stand.

“Where were the hikes?” I said.

“Out in public? Together? Alone?”

“What?” said Eugene, spearing a potato.

She blinked, “It’s Danny.”

“What’d people think if they saw?” “What do you mean?”

Illustration by Michelle Chan

CREATIVE

He’s the help, she didn’t say. It’s like leaving you alone with a lawnmower. Danny came over, toting a Polly Waffle and cough drops. The checkout girl’s name tag said she was Anna.

“The shops.” “Not my decision!” “Does it not count for girls from the suburbs?”

“Busy much today?”

He stared hard at the nape of my neck. I think.

“No, miss. All tradies round here. At work now.” She paused. “There was a funny bloke in earlier today. He was a laff.”

Missy panted happily. We turned the corner onto my street. I felt a terrible inertia, the type normally only felt by people lying on grass and looking up through the leaves of trees, as the earth shivers interminably on. We paused next to my mailbox.

“How so?” Danny chipped in. Anna took him in—hip against counter, all floppy hair and denim—and blushed. Her hair was a pretty strawberry. But she’d put in curlers, and the ringlets were too tight. If I could just reach over, and comb my fingers through. She giggled. Spots of red appeared on her neck, like wine through tablecloth. “Well, a bloke came up to the cigarette counter, and he asks if I could please fetch him some groceries? Right? Anyways, I said to him, such as? And he goes, missus’s outta town. Asks if I could please grab a trolley and get the essentials for him. So, me and the girls do a nice little trolley for him, mostly frozen stuff, while he smokes. We bag it up, he comes in, puts some cash on the counter and off he trots… He was all… I dunno, pinched up. Checked out, you know. My mum says people can go their whole life without making a single decision. First, it’s mum, then teacher, then the better half, then the heavenly father. That’ll be $18.90.” Don’t look at me like that. * I took up jogging. Through the scribbly gum trees, a powder blue buggy crawled and overtook me. I rounded a corner. There was a figure in the middle of the road some hundred metres up. They had a dog with them. “You shouldn’t be walking in the middle of the road!” Danny stopped. “You’re puffed,” he said. The night and the rain-slick road made one big dark. He looked small, like a kid in the ocean.

He can hear my heartbeat. Lub-dub-ta, yes-come-in, staya-while, please-please-please. He presses his lips together. Bastard. * After, we went down to the living room. I laid on the sofa, spent nerves fizzling out sluggishly. You kissed me again and sat on the floor, next to the fireplace. “I never asked what you’ve been doing,” I said, my voice toosmall. “I’ve been missing you.” The bullfrogs bleated like pudgy, warty cherubs. The first time we kissed, in the bush in summer, I asked you what you were thinking. Y’know how sometimes it feels like there’s a stone inside you? Like a peach, you said, slow and slurred enough for me to almost miss it, I don’t feel like that right now. I feel like I’ve gotten fourteen hours of sleep. I looked at you and was astonished to find you drawn up into yourself like a child, rocking back and forth, hardly at all. But the effect of you! Your brow febrile, bathed in the fire like a warning light. I thought O God, I said My lord, push our heads, kneel us together in prayer and let us live like sinners. Our knees could be mirroring each other into forever. Rolling my head against his knee, trying to soak in his brain. No hunger like my hunger for you. I take it down from the shelf, and unfurl it as old paper.

“You shouldn’t be doing that, not with Missy. Why are you walking her?” “You know everyone went into the city tonight.” “I could’ve done it. You didn’t have to come all the way.” “All the way to Dashwood,” he drawled. “If you’re allowed to trespass on my postcode—why shouldn’t I—” “When did I—”

Illustration by Michelle Chan

COLUMN

LOVE IS NOT FEAR.

SYRINX

The nymph rejected the god’s advances and ran through the fields… She called on the nymphs of the stream to transform her… So just at the moment when Pan believed his Syrinx was caught, instead of a fair nymph’s body, he found himself clutching at marsh reeds…

(Ovid Metamorphoses 1.700-710)

TO OUTSMART A GOD, ONE MUST BE QUICK….

HE MAY SAY HE LOVES YOU…

…BUT IF YOU ARE AFRAID, CAN IT BE SO? Artwork by Gen Schiesser

TO OUTSMART A GOD…

COLUMN

…ONE MUST REACH…

SYRINX!

…REACH…

…REACH OUT TO THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE ALL ALONG.

WHERE WOMEN PROTECT ME…

…WHERE I AM SAFE…

Artwork by Gen Schiesser

…WHERE I AM GONE.

CREATIVE

content warning: allusions to self-harm

Hunger Written by Tharidi Walimunige

Run the knife along the bone to release the Wild-caught Soft peaks As thinly as possible All new look, same Shallow container This one is a beauty Crafted in idyllic Reputation On the cover A cheat’s menu With all the trimmings Removed and discarded, coarsely End up stealing the show Cut a small slit out of Uncertainty and isolation Press down with the palm of your hand Into the score marks Many people, watching Measure up Less carbs than an average Be happy Nutrients may not be adequate Run a knife over the fat Removing as much membrane Be comfortable in your skin Nest on a serving platter Boneless Grated Shallow-fry

*NOTE: This is a found poem with each line, including the title, having been sourced from the December 2020 issue of Coles Magazine. Text from recipes, advertisements, and features has been appropriated and rearranged to form these stanzas. Each line denotes a separate phrase found in the magazine.

Illustration by Sam Turner

CREATIVE

The sun, first blinding, gets gentler with time, as running slows to walking, then to sitting, and to talking. After it sets, softly, we keep our legs crossed tight— tucked in like a bedsheet— and welcoming the night. Matchstick benches dress our set with garden-gravel rocks: the park that surrounds us is carried in a shoebox. Someone found these pieces and put aside some space,

The Park-Maker Written by Ben Evans

they looked and thought about the land then glued them all in place. I’ve never met a Park-Maker, nor have I a god but nonetheless, I thank them, for everything we’ve got. We walk across the meadow— the dark is coming soon— it’s time to clear our seats and leave them to the moon. And I will be careful, yes, not to disturb this meticulous diorama— of slides and grass, then trees, and swings— assembled just for us by whoever makes these things.

Illustration by Mochen Tang

CREATIVE

The Trees in My Street Written by Kate Williams

Arthritic hands line my street, Creaking and aching in the wind, Stiff knotted claws arcing warily away From the hum and snap of telephone lines. Leaves flicker and wave at the sky, Quickly breaking from stems to flutter away. As the wind takes these papery children, The trees whisper hushed goodbyes, Groaning and reaching after them. In the purgatory of a beachside breeze, In the bitter wind, rapid jerks and eddies, Under the glare of sun, Flesh withers into tired husks of brown. Skeletons left to be snapped under foot, Rattling against the pavement. Amber tears slide slowly down hardened trunks Of faceless trees quiet in their mourning. Hollows agape in a silent wail For the small husks that rattle at their feet. They stand mute in their suffering, Their limbs bare, bereft. As the crisp winter wind mocks and beats, The naked trees wearily sway and creak. Yet through the bitter chill branches reach Towards the soft blue sky Waiting

Illustration by Rachel Ko

CREATIVE

Little Moth

Written by Shaira Afrida Oyshee little moth, you can’t escape this night and my explanation of what this was or is would puzzle you even more, because I don’t know for sure what this is or was for you, but I can tell you what I saw: I had brushed my teeth and put some night cream on I read a few pages of a book about investing I made my breakfast and checked the train schedule then I saw you on the wall behind my bed you explored my room for the next ten days, I apologise, I turned minimalist a few months ago—saves time I halved a strawberry for you when I left every morning and I didn’t make cheap metaphors about how you aren’t a butterfly or how you draw yourself to flames, I burnt out at work today and I will go there again I don’t know what would fulfil you have you laid eggs? I could feed them strawberries too but that’s it really, little moth, the world is spinning as we speak and I need to catch a train.

Illustration by Michelle Chan

CREATIVE

Politics Politics Politics Written by Elina Pugacheva

Politics is a dirty Word Mind frame Existence But remember: If you’re not interested in politics, Politics will be interested in you Imprisonment in death? Inevitable Imprisonment in politics? Avoidable I will never ever Lie Others will never ever Stop Why? Life is unfair. Hold up my sign at the parade Careful! The Square has a grandiose air Don’t breathe in the corruption! I know Politics is a dirty game but Freedom is no easy gain

Illustration by Vertigo

Sacrifice

FARRAGO

FLASH FLASH FICTION: FICTION: LOVE LOVE STORIES STORIES Written by Amara Cavahlo content warning: suicide

Even pinned to the altar, my sacrificial dagger clutched over your chest, you are fearless—after all, one of us was always destined to die. From girlhood, we let the priests dress us in a pantomime of our future; blood-red robes and bone-white face paint. They should have raised us apart if they wanted an honest fight. You let me win, thinking that would save me. But I have the dagger, the final choice: I will not kill you, nor make you my murderer. Love, I ask only one thing: hold me, once I rip the lifeblood from my breast.

What is Love?

Written by Elina Pugacheva People say my love is the KGB, corruption, Novichok, picture-perfect women, snow, and vodka. My love is 13,749 km away. She’s cold in winter but warm to visitors. My love is not politics. She is home. She’s the cramped apartment you still recognise after thirteen years away. She’s the shabby Soviet airport that suddenly swims because you won’t see it again for a long time. My love is all tangled now with cowards poisoning brave men. My love is the pain of leaving. My love is nostalgia. My love is my homeland.

The Never-Ending Moment Written by Lee Perkins

I rode through the west of Northcote this night January 15th 2021 with blue whips of storms killing the light pollution above. I bulleted over Merri Creek to be washed with that freezing summer air. Melbourne never stopped chasing me. It’s the dream that lifts me, the toddler with his mum at D.O.C on Saturdays and the 22-yearold who can’t believe the no. 1 stops two blocks from his door. Dad’s cloud breath on August morning gesturing when it feels like the lightning has already struck. Melbourne, the never-ending moment. Had my heart before I could talk.

Illustration by Ailish Hallinan

FARRAGO

For and Against: Zoom Tutorials For

Against

by Marcie Di Bartolomeo

by Shaira Afrida Oyshee

Most of you are probably sick of Zoom tutorials by now. But I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. There is an upside to online classes—several, in fact.

All I have to say in favour of Zoom tutorials is that once, we spotted a ghost-like figure in a tutor’s house and watched him freak out (it was his dog). That was cool.

For one, you don’t need to bother with a regular commute in and out of the City; you can do all your classes from the comfort of your own bedroom. This saves a lot of time and spoons, especially for those of you living far from campus. Additionally, while one’s daily routine would normally be cluttered with a lot of dressing up and showering and breakfasting, all of that can be skipped when Zooming.

Now, for the against. I could win this debate with two words: breakout rooms, but I won’t do that, because I don’t want to waste this opportunity to rant in a magazine.

Worried about pants? Never again with Zoom classes! And if your top half also looks unpresentable, just turn your video off! While tutors encourage you to keep your face on the screen, who listens to them? And if you forget to eat before your next class, no stress. Just munch away during the Zoom. If your classmates don’t want your food ASMR to bleed through their speakers (rude!), simply mute yourself. Hopefully, I have changed your mind about Zoom tutorials. And if I still haven’t, here’s another perk of online classes: online open book exams.

For the past two semesters, I watched my classmates discover how to change their Zoom backgrounds to the most ridiculous things. It was funny at first. Before long however, I was waking up in the afternoons (you were too), a minute before my tutorials, with an expression on my face quite similar to Ice Cube’s on the AmeriKKKA’s Most Wanted cover, because I knew how the tutorial would go. We’d talk about the pandemic for a while, saying how no one expected it. Then, a few students with curious bright eyes and the sort of ambitiousness that got humans through the ice age would have a zillion questions about the next assignment. Then, into the breakout rooms where we’d stare blankly (please google “polite cat meme” for accurate depiction) until the tutor would break in, and we’d tell them about what a life-changing, god-defeating, humanity-saving discussion we had about what Graaskamp had to say about land prices.

Illustration by Yasmin Hopkins

Illustration by Rai

UMSU and the Media Office are located in the city of Melbourne, on the land of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation. We pay our respects to their elders—past, present and emerging—and acknowledge that the land we are on was stolen and sovereignty was never ceded.

2021 Edition One

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