cw/ = Content Warning
CONTENTS
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58
28
4/ News in Brief 5/ Calendar 8/ Radical Education Week 9/ Fresh Canvas Milam v Unimelb 10/ Unimelb Introduces Anonymous Register cw/
63
mentions of sexual harrassment, sexual assault
11/ UMSU International Election Results 12/ Change the Rules 13/ A Ballotless By-election 16/ Federal Election Wrap-up 18/ Unimelb Not Favoured by its Employees 19/ Satire 20/ Office Bearer Reports
24/ 26/ 28/ 33/ 34/ 35/ 39/
Am I Doing It Right? cw/ homophobia Double Take A Pocket of Peace in the Australian Bushland Diaspora Dilemmas A Fight for $75 is a Fight for Freedom Kiss and Tell Living Well When You’re Unwell cw/ ableism,
chronic illness
40/ The Meaning of Wilderness cw/ colonialism 42/ Mythologies
14/ Submergence by Daniel Revesz 30/ Role Model by Bethany Cherry 32/ Time by Anjana Ram 36/ Art by Lucy Williams 38/ Art by Rosann Anthony 44/ Flash Fiction 45/ Paint to Poetry 46/ The Cursed Girl and the Cat and the Apocalypse 48/ Faulty Fizzles 50/ The Fairytale Gazette 51/ History 52/ Masters Hold a Meeting Over Wine 53/ This is a Story About a Woman Eating Her Husband’s Liver. cw/ blood, death, grief, gore, kink 54/ Bees cw/ mention of drowning 56/ A Thing with Feathers 58/ 1990’s Subconscious 60/ Complementary Colours 62/ The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill 64/ For and Against COVER ART BY AMANI NASARUDIN /
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COLLECTIVE
THE FARRAGO TEAM Editors Katie Doherty Carolyn Huane Ruby Perryman Stephanie Zhang Contributors Ruby Adams Lauren Berry Nurul Juhria Binte Kamal Monte Cairns Jennifer Chance Denis Curnow Tilli Franks Ailish Hallinan Megan Hanrahan Tara Jadwani-Bungar Emily Johnson Stephanie Kee Tiia Kelly Kate King-Smith Maria Matthews Amber Meyer Nicole Moore Shaira Afrida Oyshee Sarah Peters Evelyn Ranogajec Catriona Smith Morgan-Lee Snell Taylor Thomas Angus Thomson Lucy Turton Tharidi Walimunige Lucy Williams Mark Yin Subeditors Ruby Adams Daniel Beratis Clare Bullard 4
Jessica Chen Bridie Cochrane-Holley Claire Thao Duong Nick Fleming Emma Hardy Asher Harrington Ashleigh Hastings Stephanie Kee Tiia Kelly Wing Kuang Finbar MacDonald Marilla Marshall Sloan Amber Meyer April Nougher-Dayhew Ella Patrick Sarah Peters Yiani Petroulias Romios Ed Pitt Bella Ruskin Chiara Situmorang Carly Stone Greer Sutherland Alison Tealby Teo Jing Xuan Taylor Thomas Finley Tobin Tharidi Walimunige Sophie Wallace Charlotte Waters Reina Wibawa Caitlin Wilson Lindsay Wong Freyja Wright Catron Allen Xiao Mark Yin Claudia Young Graphics Jennifer Luki Andreany Rosann Anthony
/ ART BY MEGAN HANRAHAN
Alexandra Burns Cathy Chen Bethany Cherry Van Ahn Chu Martin Ditmann Megan Hanrahan Sonia Jude Reann Lin Hayley May Amani Nasarudin Stephanie Nestor Monique O’Rafferty Marta Praticò Anjana Ram Daniel Revesz Morgan-Lee Snell Charanja Thavendran Tiffany Widjaja Lucy Williams Esme Wang Timothy Wood Raymond Wu Yushi Wu Lizzy Yu Wolf Zimmermann
Social Media Ashleigh Hastings Sachetha Bamunusinghe Cover Amani Nasarudin
Farrago is the student magazine of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), produced by the media department. Farrago is published by the general secretary of UMSU, Reece Moir. The views expressed herein are not necessarily the views of UMSU. the printers or the editors. Farrago is printed by Printgraphics, care of the Prince of Prints Nigel Quirk. All writing and artwork remains the property of the creators. This collection is © Farrago and Farrago reserves the right to
Columnists Bethany Cherry Conor Clements Creative Literature and Writing Society (CLAWS) Jocelyn Deane Alison Ford Kaavya Jha Madeleine Johnson Sarah Peters Veera Ramayah A’bidah Zaid Shirbeeni Iris Shuttleworth Lou Winslow
republish material in any format.
TAG
Content Warning:
COLLECTIVE
EDITORIAL
W
e acknowledge Farrago is created on land that always has and always will belong to the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nations. This land is stolen and sovereignty was never ceded, and no acknowledgement is enough to give it back. We pay our respects to elders past, present and future, and to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people, people who have been sharing stories and making art longer than anyone in the world. We thank readers for picking up our magazine and listening to what we have to say and urge you to actively seek out, and listen to, the people whose land you exist on. As always, we’ve had a heckin’ busy month in the Farrago office. Ruby has been laying down the groundwork for the annual Above Water creative writing and art competition and anthology (which you should most definitely check out, submissions are now open!), and Steph and their dedicated reporting team pulled together an amazing live coverage of the federal election. To the chagrin of the coverage team, the election fell fully on assignment season this year. Between writing essays and doing group projects, they watched campaign trails unfold to a surprising end. Voting and staying informed forms the backbone of democracy, and no matter what end of town you live in, being political matters. Whether for you that means catching the weekly Q&A, letterboxing for your local member, or even just casting your ballot for that sweet, juicy democracy sausage afterwards—being political means doing your part. For those of you happy with the election result, we hope you will keep our elected leaders accountable. For those of you dissatisfied, channel that energy into doing something transformative for this country. Keep campaigning for politicians you like; read up on local politics; run for a seat. And for those of you who don’t think the result will affect you, check the privileges you are afforded that allow for your apathy. Read up on how you’ll be affected by the election result in Lucy Williams’ wrap-up on page 16-17, or, if you’re sick of federal politics, find out who will be representing international students in the new semester from Nurul Juhria Binte Kamal and Emily Johnson (pg. 11). And while you’re in the campus section, check out Daniel Revesz’s magical, mythical spread of monochromatic dinosaurs ‘Submergence’. In nonfiction, we’re all about trees this edition—see Sarah Peters’ ‘A Pocket of Peace in the Australian Bushland’ (pg. 28-29), and Tara Jadwani-Bungar’s ‘The Meaning of Wilderness’ (pg. 40-41). Flip to the creative section and you’ll find Tharidi Walimunige’s delightfully bizarre short story about a bath bomb gone wrong (pg. 48-49). If you only have time to read shorter pieces amidst the end of semester madness, check out our always-enjoyable ‘Flash Fiction’ and ‘Paint to Poetry’ columns on pages 44 and 45, and be calmed by their soft little accompanying artworks by Lizzy Yu. We’re sending you all love and sufficient study vibes for SWOTVAC and the exam period—we know it’s a shit time, but you can get through it! See ya next sem, Ruby, Katie, Caro and Steph
PHOTOGRAPHY BY MEGAN HANRAHAN /
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CAMPUS
NEWS IN BRIEF NEW QUAD
The Old Quadrangle building has finally been reopened after twoyears of reconstruction. It now includes a stained-glass work by artist Tom Nicholson and stained-glass artisan Geoffrey Wallace.
HOME.TWO
DISAFFILIATIONS
TEHAN AGAIN
Following appeals to Students’ Council, disaffiliations of the Red Cross Club and the Mandarin Christian Fellowship have been upheld.
Education Minister Dan Tehan is expected to be reappointed to the job if re-elected Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s campaign statements are followed.
Melbourne Uni’s newest on-campus cafe Home. Two uses all biodynamic products and aims to help reduce youth homelessness. You can find the new cafe with a cause across the Sidney Myer Asia Centre.
DIVIDED
SWIPE US RIGHT Tinder has released information about which Australian universities are getting the most action. Melbourne Uni unfortunately comes in tenth, with the first place awarded to the University of Western Australia. Five Sydney universities made top 10, and you’re least likely to get match if you attend the University of Adelaide.
GSA RESULTS The new Graduate Student Association council has been declared provisionally elected. Congratulations to Yali Zhao, Xinyue (Katherine) Wang, Emily Roberts, Mitchell VanderwerdtHolman, Vinu Gunetilleke, Ying Hu, Qi Xu, Madeleine Johnson, Tessa Gould, Fia Walker.
NO MORE UNFAIR WORK Melbourne Uni casual staff are continuing to protest the work conditions for casual employees. The NTEU led a sit-in on 8 May, demanding more secure employment and equitable treatment by university management. Currently, around 72 per cent of the University’s staff are on short-term casual contracts or fixed-term contracts. Annette Herrera, the casual employees representative on the NTEU committee and one of the organisers of the protest, said, “In April, the NTEU met with the HR management and we asked for equitable treatment of staff. And what have we heard so far from management? We’ll get back to you. Casual staff demand dignity of work, we demand fair pay and we demand job security.” Nic Kimberley, the Victorian president of the NTEU, “Enough is enough. We are not going to tolerate any more of this bullshit.”
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Melbourne is growing faster than most cities of similar sizes but its growth has been accompanied by widening social and economic divides. It is set to overtake Sydney as the biggest Australian city by 2050.
THAW THE FREEZE Universities Australia has urged the government to “end the funding freeze so Australians get a go at uni”. Incoming chair Professor Deborah Terry said that funding for student places at universities is vital to keep up the skilled workforce needs. “We have a consistent long-term view on this. We must ensure young Australians – especially from battling communities really doing it tough – don’t miss out on the chance of a university education.”
CURB CARS The Melbourne City Council is preparing to close off two blocks of Elizabeth Street to all car traffic. The plan has been criticised for the disruption it would add in addition to the current Metro Tunnel works, as well as for not being ambitious enough in pushing the Melbourne CBD in the car-less direction.
MYRIAD UMSU’s People of Colour department’s annual magazine Myriad is happening again! Submissions are open right now—if you’re a person of colour who loves to create art, write stories, or just in general love making things, email in artwork, written pieces, or pitches to myriadmag2019@gmail. com. You must identify as a person of colour to be involved.
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CAMPUS
Content Warning:
CALENDAR : JUNE WEEK 12
SWOTVAC
EXAMS
EXAMS
MONDAY 27 MAY
MONDAY 3 JUN
MONDAY 10 JUN
MONDAY 17 JUN
TUESDAY 4 JUN
TUESDAY 11 JUN
TUESDAY 18 JUN
WEDNESDAY 12 JUN
WEDNESDAY 19 JUN
12pm: Support collective 2pm: Ace+Aro collective
TUESDAY 28 MAY 12pm: WoC collective 1pm: Trans collective 1pm: Enviro collective 1pm: On Track & Syndicate 5pm: Welfare—Yoga
12pm: WoC collective
WEDNESDAY 29 MAY
WEDNESDAY 5 JUN
12pm: Women’s collective 12pm: Welfare collective 1pm: Mudcrabs Rowdy Laughter 1pm: PoC collective 1pm: Queer Lunch
12pm: Women’s collective 12pm: PoC study collective
THURSDAY 30 MAY
THURSDAY 6 JUN
THURSDAY 13 JUN
THURSDAY 20 JUN
FRIDAY 7 JUN
FRIDAY 14 JUN
FRIDAY 21 JUN
12pm: QPoC collective 1pm: PoC in media collective 4pm: Fitness class 4pm: Farrago Launch Party at Lionel’s Lounge 5pm: G&Ts with the LGBTs
FRIDAY 31 MAY
12pm: Mudcrabs Rowdy Writing
7
/ ART BY SOMEONE SOMEONE7
8
/ ART BY HAYLEY MAY
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Has something happened on campus that’s made you mad? Did you hear about something dodgy? Or just have a story you think Farrago readers should know about? We want to bring you the best news possible. Let us know if you see or hear something you feel we should look into by emailing us at editors@farragomagazine.com or stephanie@farragomagazine.com. Confidentiality will always be upheld. Don’t be afraid to speak up.
ART BY AMANI NASARUDIN /
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CAMPUS
RADICAL EDUCATION WEEK ANGUS THOMSON RECAPS
T
he University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Environment Collective held their third successive Radical Education Week during Week 7, from April 15 to 18. The week was a cross-campus event exploring radical ideas about education within and beyond the classroom. The UMSU Environment Collective conducted onehour workshops at the Rad Ed Hub on South Lawn throughout the week. They also invited UMSU’s Queer and People of Colour Departments, and external activist groups such as Earthworker to run workshops around the theme of radical education. “Grassroots activism at the University of Melbourne is very much alive and kicking,” said UMSU Environment Office Bearer (OB), Will Ross. “This is a week where we come together.” He identified promoting student discussion in tutorials and encouraging tutors’ engagement with students as two key ideas that emerged from the workshops. Lucy Turton, 2018 Environment OB, said that there was also a strong theme of environment and sustainability throughout the week, headlined by the Student Sustainability Forum on April 16. Turton was a panellist on the forum, which brought students and staff together to discuss issues such as divestment, waste management, and sustainability. Sue Hopkins, Sustainability Engagement Coordinator at the University, said that waste emerged as one of the most important issues for students in last year’s Sustainability Survey. She pointed to the plate reuse service at the Wednesday Farmers’ Market as a positive sustainability initiative, preventing thousands of single-use plastics and paper plates from being thrown away on campus. The program was set up by the student-led organisation Fair Food Challenge through a Student Services and Amenities Fee grant, allowing them to buy bowls and plates for wash and reuse at the market. Hopkins described the program as a trailblazer for the new dishwasher hub in Union House. An old tenancy has been refurbished to house the hub, which will provide a number of sustainable tableware options for tenants, as well as pick-up and drop-off stations for students using the tableware. “No other university has a reuse scheme like this on their campus,” Hopkins said. “They’re all very green with envy.” 10
/ ART BY CATHY CHEN
Turton and Ross agreed that there have been many positive initiatives developed on campus in recent years, especially in Union House. “We’ve got a mug wall, which is fantastic,” Ross said. “If you forget your keep-cup, it’s no big deal—you can get a mug … and then just pop it on top of one of the bins and it gets washed.” He said that the sustainable campus team have a strong collaborative relationship when it comes to waste, but added that messages from students do not always cut through to the University. “To actually feel listened to is very rare,” Ross said. Turton echoed Ross, describing the University’s low student satisfaction ratings compared to other Australian universities as a symptom of its poor engagement with students. She wants to see this collaborative mindset extended to other areas of University policy, including curriculum and divestment from fossil fuels and weapons manufacturers. The University of Melbourne’s $2.4 billion investment portfolio is managed by the Victorian Fund Management Corporation (VMFC). Turton said that the University’s Sustainable Investment Framework (SIF) came about after five years of students relentlessly campaigning for the University to re-evaluate where its funds were invested. The SIF assesses whether the VMFC are factoring climate change into their investment decisions on a caseby-case basis. However, an audience member at the forum said that the SIF misses the point of divestment by “stating [climate change] as a risk problem rather than a social responsibility.” Ross said that Rad Ed Week is all about solving local issues such as waste on campus, while fighting for larger reforms, such as divestment. The week did, however, draw the attention of conservative media, with commentator Andrew Bolt claiming that a “ban on ‘white males’ speaking during tutorials” was suggested during the workshops. Ross dismissed the claims as unfounded, adding that “The ideas that we’d actually prefer people engage with weren’t mentioned in the article.” He urged students and critics alike to engage with Rad Ed Week in the future. “We will smack ourselves in the middle of South Lawn and make it bigger and more visible next year.”
NEWS
A
FRESH CANVAS
MILAM V UNIMELB
BY MEGAN HANRAHAN
BY LUCY TURTON
round 100 subjects from several faculties will trial a new Learning Management System (LMS) from Semester 2 this year. The Blackboard LMS, which is currently used by students and staff, will be replaced with a new system offered by Canvas, a company which provides a cloudbased system to connect staff and students online. The trial is led by the University’s Learning Environments department and Infrastructure Service as part of the ‘Project Evolve’ program. Through the program, the University expects all subjects to complete their migration from Blackboard to Canvas in 2020, with the exact timetable decided based on the feedback from the 100 pilot subjects. The University said the decision was made due to concerns of the LMS being dated in use and function, as well as non-cohesive and difficult to navigate. “The complaints and concerns about the LMS from the student body were growing,” said Gregor Kennedy, Vice Chancellor of Teaching and Learning, Patrick Stoddart and Deborah Jones of Learning Environments, in a joint response to Farrago. “[Students can expect] a modern web experience and mobile app experience … clear navigation through subjects, alerts and notifications and to-do lists of pending activities.” The new system will also highlight University support services available to students, which may currently be difficult to find and access. Kennedy, Stoddart and Jones said the decision was made after consultations with student unions, and it met the needs of academic and professional staff. Last year, over 8,500 staff and students participated in an LMS-focused survey. Its result showed that more ease of use, cohesion of information and updated technology would greatly benefit accessibility of content and learning. Farrago has approached the University of Melbourne Student Union’s Education (Academic) department for comments.
B
otched management of alleged misconduct by a recentlyappointed Head of School has forced the University of Melbourne into a legal battle in the Australian Federal Court. Appointed in April 2017, Professor Jennifer Milam, an art historian, took up her term as Head of the School of Culture and Communication on 1 January, 2018, but was suspended with full pay in late January this year following two colleagues’ allegations of academic misconduct According to Federal Court papers, in 2018 Milam raised “concerns about certain governance matters in the Faculty of Arts”. During her short period as Head of School, “two senior employees” of the University claimed to have “experienced harm resulting from [Milam’s] repeated behaviours.” It is not clear whether the two matters are related, nor is Farrago suggesting any specific correlation. The University conducted a preliminary inquiry in August 2018, which concluded with Milam’s suspension, and has since contracted an external investigator to conduct further investigation into the allegations. Milam took the University to court over its investigative process in February, arguing that her suspension breached both the Fair Work Act and the University’s own Staff Enterprise Agreement (EBA), causing her significant and lasting reputational damage. The court ruling was finalised at the end of February, but in May this year a University spokesperson told Farrago that they do “not comment on confidential employment matters or proceedings before the Court”. It remains unclear whether legal proceedings are still underway. No staff members were willing to speak openly to Farrago about the events, however the process has caused notable disorganisation in the School, with Professor Peter Otto hurriedly appointed Head of School following Milam’s suspension before Semester 1 this year. The legal stoush resulted in an unusual ruling, with Milam granted an injunction and allowed to continue her ordinary teaching and research duties on campus. The Victorian branch of the National Tertiary Education Union said the verdict was a notable win, and it served as a reminder to universities “to actually comply with [their] own EBA.” On social media, employment law specialist Joshua Bornstein expressed his relief at the prevention of a “punitive suspension from the workplace” and “flawed workplace investigation.” The University has not made it clear when or how the conflict will be resolved, however it appears unlikely to publicise any final outcome.
ART BY CATHY CHEN (LEFT) AND WOLF ZIMMERMANN (RIGHT) /
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NEWS
Content Warning: mentions of sexual harassment, sexual assault
UNIMELB INTRODUCES ANONYMOUS REGISTER MEGAN HANRAHAN AND NURUL JUHRIA BINTE KAMAL UNCOVER THE INITIATIVE
I
n March 2019, the University of Melbourne introduced an anonymous register. This platform allows students, staff, alumni or visitors to report any inappropriate behaviour on campus to The University without having to make an official complaint, or formally identifying themselves. This change could make it easier and less distressing for victims of assault and harassment to come forward. The register was created to give the University better access to data regarding the level of inappropriate behavior on campus, as such data has been historically underreported in Australian universities. The data collected by the University will be analysed for the purpose of evaluation and development of new preventative methods for inappropriate behaviours on campus. Results will be published annually on the University’s Respect Taskforce website. Nearly 1 in 5 students have experienced harassment on some level, according to a 2017 study conducted by the Humans Rights Commission which investigated the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment in Australian university campuses. Out of the 30,000 respondents, 94% of those who had experienced harassment, and 84% of those who had been assaulted, did not make a formal report or complaint to their university. “I was concerned that if I made an official report that my parents would be involved somehow, or that it may have gone on my academic transcript. At the time that the incident occurred, I did not have a strong support system in Melbourne and [I] was unaware of what resources were available to me aside from making a police report,” said Lea*, a third-year student who experienced sexual assault on campus. A spokesperson for the University of Melbourne stated that they “acknowledge that reporting these inappropriate behaviours can be challenging for anyone who has experienced or witnessed these behaviours.” “The register is a way for our community to inform us of issues without necessarily becoming deeply involved in the response.” The University of Melbourne’s (UMSU) Women’s Department agrees that the introduction of a register is a positive one. “The initiative is an anonymous register for inappropriate behaviour which the university uses 12
/ ART BY ESME WANG
to track instances of harassment on campus. We think that this is a helpful initiative as this new software allows victims to speak out while maintaining their anonymity,” said Office Bearers of UMSU Women’s Department, Aria Sunga and Hannah Buchan. An anonymous register can negate the fear of public repercussions, while still allowing a victim to voice their experience to the University. However, some feel that there is more that should be done by the University to tackle this issue. “The entire initiative feels very, for lack of a better word, fake. It feels like another ‘pat on the back’ type move from [the university] to make themselves feel better about having made an “attempt” to address the sexual harassment issue. The fact that it is only used for collecting statistical data makes me feel more like an object than a “victim” of sexual harassment. I’m seen as only a means to an end; of being able to wash their hands and say they did everything they could,” said Lea. “The fact that the mental health services on campus, something extremely vital in the recovery from sexual trauma is extremely underdeveloped and abysmal considering the size of our university, our global ranking and our number of students makes me feel as though the funding allocated for this initiative could have been better spent,” she added. The Women’s Department emphasises that the anonymous register is not a platform to anonymously report, and it should not be treated as such. The register accepts responses from those who have first-hand experience of such behaviours, but also those who have witnessed, heard about, or have had information disclosed in confidence. “No one can know for certain what the outcome of this new initiative will be, but any step that the university takes to improve safety on campus is a positive one and allows for future developments,” said Sunga and Buchan. According the Sunga and Buchan, the University is investigating the possibility of implementing a formal anonymous reporting software within the next few years. The University encourages anyone who has faced experiences of harassment or sexual violence to make formal reports. *Names have been changed to protect privacy
NEWS
UMSU INTERNATIONAL ELECTION RESULTS NURUL JUHRIA BINTE KAMAL AND EMILY JOHNSON REPORT
O
n 13th May 2019, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) International elected a new committee with Archit Agrawal as president, leading the committee for the upcoming term. The new term commences on 1st August 2019. In his policy speech, Agrawal placed a strong emphasis on making the union more diverse. “I strongly believe in the power of diversity. One of my goals is to be able to establish UMSU [International] as a more diverse organisation than it already is,” he said. This year’s elections has had alarming similarities to previous years. Firstly, this will be the fifth consecutive year that UMSU International will have a male president. Secondly, just like in 2016 and 2018 elections, the position for president was left uncontested. Thirdly, the incoming committee is heavily South East Asian-dominated. For the first time in three years, the Education and Welfare Vice President position was contested, with Siobhan Dominique Lim getting elected with 430 votes. The position of Secretary was also contested, and Vincent Immanuel Chaidir won with 356 votes. Conversely, the positions for Cultural and Social vice president, Treasurer and Human Resources Director were left uncontested. This is the first time these positions have been left uncontested. Zill-E Rahim, the new Cultural and Social Vice President, and Christabella Alicia Mahendra, the new Human Resources Director, both told Farrago that they were “relieved” to be uncontested. “Although campaigning would have been a lot of fun … I am especially blessed and excited to have the comfort of gaining the title of HR Director and will do my best in accomplishing my duties for this year,” said Mahendra. There has been a decrease in the gender disparity within the committee where 18 out of 25 positions are held by women compared to 14 out of 25 last year. This increase of women in the committee has ceased the male domination that existed previous years. The number of candidates running in this year’s election has decreased from 41 to 29. This decrease was also present in voter turnout, with only 999 people coming out to vote this year compared to 1,699 last year.
The 700 vote drop would be disappointing after last year’s election, which reportedly saw 500 more votes than previous years. This year’s voters make up just five per cent of the total number of international students at the University of Melbourne as compared to 8.5 per cent in 2018. An appeal of the election results for the officer positions delayed the release of results by four hours. Few specific policies or plans were discussed during the May 6 policy speech session, though a dissatisfaction with event turnout was a common thread in both the speeches and the questions from the audience. The newly elected committee appear keen to address this issue. They are looking to improve numbers at events through increasing advertisements and collaborations with University clubs, this collaboration also forming part of their plan to increase cultural diversity within UMSU International. Treasurer Xingling Lu and Secretary Vincent Immanuel Chaidir are both looking to expand their roles within the committee, with Lu championing increased transparency about UMSU International spending and Chaidir wanting to act as a mediator between the UMSU International departments. Education and Welfare Vice President Siobhan Dominique Lim wants to focus on welfare during her term, prioritising the mental health of international students above all else. She spoke of increasing awareness of support services and prioritising events based on their potential outreach. Rahim is also prioritising hosting more “smaller scale events” over the next year to increase student participation, but did not mention how he would fulfill his responsibility to promote cross-cultural understanding. This focus on increasing exposure between students, both international and local, is also reflected in Agrawal’s goals for his upcoming term. “I shall also look forward to working with other UMSU departments to come up with activities that help in bridging the gap between local and international students,” he said.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY WOLF ZIMMERMANN /
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NEWS
CHANGE THE RULES LAUREN BERRY GIVES YOU THE RUNDOWN
O
n April 10, approximately 100,000 people took to the streets of Melbourne to protest against the Morrison government in a Change the Rules rally. The rally was organised by the Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU). From 10:30am to about 1.30pm, unionists, workers and students gathered at the Victorian Trades Hall in Carlton before marching through the city towards Parliament in protest of low wages and insecure work. According to the ACTU’s media release statement: “We have a crisis of insecure work and low wages in this country and Scott Morrison and his Government are to blame.” They also stated that it is the current government’s fault that Australia is reportedly experiencing “the largest decline in living standards in 30 years.” The union has hence called for a change in government to provide better working conditions for working people. The Change the Rules campaign also advocates for closing the gender pay gap, supporting TAFE, school and higher education funding. They also support reinstating the ‘fair go’ ideology which involves holding banks accountable and ensuring fair shares of taxes. These are issues which they claim are being ignored or worsened by the current federal government. The campaign has also stated that they have the support of both the Labor Party and The Greens. They will be holding them to their promise of committing to the cause if either is elected. The Melbourne march was one of many organised events by the ACTU, who plan to hold similar political protests in 14 centres nationwide.
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/ ART BY JENNIFER LUKI ANDREANY
Unions consulted police prior to the event to manage road closures and peaceful protest. Victoria Police expressed their support of the protest on Twitter but remained sceptical of violence following a surprise Veganism protest held in the CBD two days earlier. 40 people were arrested during the protest, including two teenagers. “We respect the right to protest respectfully but we will not tolerate violent or antisocial behaviour” Victoria Police tweeted on April 9. The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Education department hosted a crowd of around 50 students to attend the Change the Rules rally and show support to the union. UMSU president Molly Willmott said that students are often disproportionately affected by unsafe work practices and wage theft. She commented on the experience of the protest: “It’s empowering being a group of 100,000 people fighting for a better Australia. Working conditions in Australia are exploitative and dangerous, and young people have felt that hard.” Wilmott said that it was “very heartening” to see that such issues are “at the forefront of people’s thinking” and it is especially positive that students are willing to join the cause and fight for their own rights as workers. She also advocated the potentially long-standing value of active involvement by students in democratic protests. She added that student movements and unions are vital in contributing to greater “generational change” through being engaged in issues they’re passionate about. The government has yet to comment directly on the rally.
NEWS
A BALLOTLESS BY-ELECTION AILISH HALLINAN AND MEGAN HANRAHAN INVESTIGATE
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ollowing the resignation of several Office Bearers within the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU), the Indigenous, Queer and Education Academic (EdAc) offices went to by-election from 6th-8th of May. However, with all nominated candidates running unopposed, the vacancies were filled without students being able to vote. The by-election saw Elizabeth Tembo and Dominic Roque Ilagan assuming the roles of EdAc officers, with Ralph Canty joining Andie Moore in the Queer office. Jordan Holloway-Clarke and Laura Brown will fill the roles of Indigenous officers. These results were announced on the UMSU website. During an interview in March, UMSU President Molly Willmott told Farrago that the by-elections would run similarly to the general elections held each year in September. “All students will be able to vote, but for the autonomous departments (Queer and Indigenous), only students from that group can vote for their representative,” she explained. Willmott generally encouraged students to take part in the by-election. “[It’s] important that students get involved in our democratic process by participating and casting their vote,” she said. According to a ‘Notice of Election’ released to the UMSU website on April 15 by Returning Officer Jaimie Adam, details of polling times and locations were to be posted for students after nominations of candidates were received. However, no polling dates were ever released, and no students were able to fill out a ballot. This was due to the available Office Bearer positions being provisionally filled by unopposed candidates. A contributing factor to the positions being provisionally filled, and therefore uncontested, was an election deal between student factions Stand Up! and More! on 19 February 2019. Farrago obtained a copy of the deal, in which the two factions agreed “not to run, campaign for, endorse, or support any candidate in a byelection for an office bearer position won by [the other] in the 2018 election”. The deal was signed by Willmott and Alice Smith on behalf of Stand Up! as well as Joshua Bruni and Alston Chu from More!. As a result of such deal, More! did not nominate candidates for the Stand
Up!-held office of EdAc, in exchange for the latter not nominating candidates for the Queer office. While Willmott declined to comment on the deal, More!’s convenor Bruni defended his decision to sign. “[The deal] did not prevent other students from running,” he said. “UMSU already struggles to maintain its relevance and credibility with students who question its legitimacy and financial decisions. This deal allowed the Student Union to spend money on endeavours that are important to ordinary students, instead of wasting time on petty partisan politicking [sic] and apparatchik flexing”. While not holding a physical by-election may have saved financial resources, there are also those who feel that this detracted from the democratic process. Allen Xiao, a student at the University, has mixed feelings about the deal. “As much as the student body dreads election week—I mean, what sane person doesn’t? —there’s at least some measure of democratic legitimacy there. So, if nothing else, surely our voice should be heard in an area as crucial as Education?”, he said. “To those who care about the healthy functioning of the student union—a sadly dwindling number—these recent events are a cause for disappointment. While I have no doubt the new office bearers are perfectly competent, it’s concerning how lacking in transparency the entire process was.” Although the faction deal was not solely responsible for positions being uncontested, the lack of competition impeded upon students’ ability to exercise their democratic right to vote in UMSU elections. It calls into question whether or not the results can still be considered a true reflection of students’ preferences. It is also noteworthy that the number of resignations, and therefore the number of offices heading into byelection, was highly unprecedented, particularly so early in the year. However, Willmott told Farrago that she was not concerned by the resignations. “This year has seen a few more resignations than previous terms of office, but the reasons officers have resigned is incredibly varied and personal so I don’t believe it is indicative of anything larger.”
ART BY SONIA JUDE /
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/ SUBMERGENCE BY DANIEL REVESZ
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POLITICS
FEDERAL ELECTION WRAP-UP LUCY WILLIAMS DELIVERS YOU THE HIGHLIGHTS AND LOWLIGHTS
What happened? The democracy sausages have been sizzled and the votes have been cast, the polls reflected the perceived hopes of the nation and the Coalition roundly smashed these to the ground. Scott Morrison has done the unthinkable, after the disastrous LibSpill of 2018 he has recaptured the support of many Australians to become Prime Minister, once again, although this time through the decision of ordinary voters around the country. While the polls got some things wrong, they were right on the money with preferred Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, and Bill Shorten didn’t manage to, at least on a mass scale, change that first impression against him. Personality has always played a role in voting but as we see the rise of character-driven politics, particularly in the US, is this something that will become more evident into the future? Only time will tell.
Labor, but it contributed to the previously predicted winner picking up a measly one electorate: Gilmore in NSW. Other criticisms focused on the need to create jobs to replace industries such as coal to ensure that people are able to put food on the table. Many speculate that until people feel secure that they will have a job into the future, they may be wary of plans to alter entire industries. The pervasive trope that Labor cannot manage money was again bandied about, despite their skilled management of the economy during the Global Financial Crisis in 2008.
Where did Labor go wrong?
In the meantime, this election saw substantial swings to the Liberals from over-65s who reacted, in part, to negative marketing against Labor’s “retiree tax.” Peter Martin, from the Australian National University, explained through an article on The Conversation that this retiree tax did not actually exist. “The phrase is shorthand for Labor’s proposal to withdraw dividend imputation cheques from dividend recipients who are outside the tax system.” Understandably there needed to be a simple way of explaining this concept but Labor did not react swiftly enough to the Coalition’s negative marketing and misinformation around this campaign. Evidently this isn’t the only reason for voting against 18
While these election results come as a surprise for those following the polls, Professor Bela Stantic, a data scientist from Griffith University, was on the money, just as he was in predicting a victory for Trump in 2016. While commentators have not completely equated these two governments, that is Trump and Morrison’s, climate change activists are decidedly pessimistic. Morrison says he has always believed in miracles, but activists believe we will need a miracle and a half to combat climate change in the next eleven years to prevent irreversible change. While Labor was also falling short on their environmental policy, the Australian Conservationist movement claimed they were at least promising more than Morrison. This isn’t the first time negative, misinformation has been circulated around an election. Liberals point to the ‘Mediscare’ campaign Labor ran which claimed that Medicare was in danger under a Coalition government.
/ ART BY MARTIN DITMANN (TOP) AND LUCY WILLIAMS (CARTOONS)
The jury’s still out on this one, but the Liberals promise that the system will be safe under their Medicare Guarantee Act. As previously mentioned, Bill Shorten failed to grow on the country and has since resigned as party leader. He had his moments, with the twitter hashtags #ILikeBill and the more organic #MyMum social media discussions after he defended claims about his mum published in the Daily Telegraph. Now, however, the role is up for grabs as the likes of Anthony Albanese and Chris Bowen vie for the leadership. Meanwhile, in Melbourne the Greens’ Adam Bandt emerged victorious again. While this choice is far from surprising, it highlights the stark differences in policy priorities around the country. Are we Melbournians in our own bubble? Perhaps, although most capital cities vote more to the left than their rural counterparts. The death of former Prime Minister Bob Hawke
So what can we expect from the Liberals and a Morrison government? Well, they’re promising a stronger economy and the delivery of 1.25 million more jobs, the maintenance of budget surpluses, tax relief for families and guaranteed increased investments for schools, hospitals and roads. They are also promising a safe Australia with secure borders. While the Liberal budget announcement was criticised for a $1.6 billion underspend on the National Disability Insurance Scheme, they are working on the largest suicide prevention strategy in Australia’s history and have established the Medical Research Future Fund one of the largest research endowments globally. Like Labor, Liberal actions on immigration and climate have been labelled inhumane and insufficient respectively by activists. These seem likely to remain hot-button issues into the future. For young workers and students reading, the cost of tertiary education is unlikely to see a reduction any time soon and penalty rates remain under threat. Welfare recipients may also be targets of random drug testing. So certainly some controversial policies heading our way. While some of you will be glad with these results, anyone who is worried about what changes in these disability, welfare or other policies will mean for you, is encouraged to approach UMSU and Office Bearers of areas such as Welfare and Disabilities, for support and advice.
came just days before Australians, minus 3 million or so early voters, went to the polls. Some expected this would play out in Labor’s favour, although this didn’t come to fruition. A silver lining for Bob, and no doubt many others, being the ousting of another former PM Tony Abbott, who Hawke previously called “mad as a cut snake” from Warringah in favour of independent Zali Steggall. Meanwhile, other controversial figures retained their seats, including Peter Dutton in Dickson and Barnaby Joyce in New England.
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NEWS
UNIMELB NOT FAVOURED BY ITS EMPLOYEES LAUREN BERRY AND NURUL JUHRIA BINTE KAMAL REPORT
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ecent data suggests that the University of Melbourne is far behind other Australian institutions when it comes to improving academic gender equity. In February, the Workplace Gender Equality Agency (WGEA) released a list of 141 employers of choice for the 2018-2019 period. The University of Melbourne failed to be listed amongst 19 universities and subsidiaries nationwide, with Griffith University and the University of Technology Sydney fronting the list for the past seventeen years. The survey aligns itself with the Workplace Gender Equality Act 2012 that aims to improve and promote equality for both men and women in the workplace. The recognition program commenced in 2014 to encourage, recognise and promote active commitment to achieving gender equality. A university spokesperson revealed that the university’s absence from the list was due to a decision not to partake in the WGEA’s voluntary based assessment. “The University did not participate and complete the selfassessment process or submit an application,” they said. In addition, the university failed to achieve accreditation in 2018 for the Athena SWAN framework, a SAGE initiative dedicated to improving gender equality in academia, focusing on Science, Technology, Engineering, Medicine and Math (STEMM) disciplines. The university became a pilot institution for the program in 2016. “Although the University was not successful in 2018, we will be re-submitting our application in July 2019,” said the spokesperson. Sara Brocklesby, the University of Melbourne Branch Secretary for the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and a Victorian women’s representative, said that the university’s failures to achieve an Athena SWAN award and recognition by the WGEA are “the exception” and that the university has not been as proactive as other universities. “Most Australian universities who put the work in achieve these ratings. These failures are an embarrassment and demonstrate a sustained lack of willingness to tackle entrenched gender inequity at the University of Melbourne,” she said. Nevertheless, the university assures that they are
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making some progress in correcting gender disparity in academia through setting gender targets, developing guidelines and having women-specific academic promotions training. This is expected to improve the gender balance amongst its employees. “In several faculties, a number of academic appointments have been made following recruitment processes that were available to only female applicants. These roles attracted large numbers of highly qualified women. Previously, similar roles open to men and women have attracted a lower number of female applicants” said the spokesperson. However, it is more than simply numbers. The University of Melbourne has over 57.3% female employees and yet there are still a number of issues, which make the university an undesirable workplace for women. Female employees suffer from career inopportunity as they are forced to choose between their health, family and/or work causing them to flatline. “Constant increases in workloads have led to terrible health issues which are not seriously or appropriately addressed by management. It is so much harder, for many women, to manage a family and work at the same time,” said Brocklesby. Additionally, according to Brocklesby, both academic and professional women tend to not progress to senior roles and are trapped in lower or mid-level pay grades. The WGEA reported that the gender pay gap in higher education is between 10 to 13%. This is reflected in the university’s management, whereby separate loadings and bonuses are awarded to many more men than women. On top of this, due to women not progressing to senior leaderships, it has made it harder for women to receive those incentives and achieve higher pay. According to the NTEU, tackling gender inequity means confronting the many gender discrimination issues currently tolerated at the university, including sexual harassment, the gender pay gap, and increasing diversity in staff leadership roles.
SATIRE
Lecturer faces plagiarism charges after ‘borrowing’ memes to use in PowerPoint slides
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LAUREN BERRY BREAKS THE NEWS
here was tension in the air last night as media lecturer Jean Paul LeVol took a Cersei-esque walk of shame to the Dean’s office, after he was accused of plagiarism by failing to reference memes used in his PowerPoint slides. The university was notified of the lecturer’s theft after the Learning Management System (LMS) reported an outstanding similarity report of “98%” when analysing the lecturer’s recent PowerPoint presentation on “Memes in the media”. LeVol, who has long warned against plagiarism to his students, said he really didn’t realise that he wasn’t practicing what he was preaching. “I’m frankly embarrassed that this has happened to me, of all people” he said in a statement to Farrago. “I thought the memes and GIFs I found on the internet would have positive repercussions for my students’ interests, not negative ones for my credibility.” However, LeVol’s tone drastically changed in a slightly malicious 3am Facebook post – which was probably triggered by the mass of mocking hate mail he has received since from students enrolled in his course. “God damnit, I won’t even apologise! Youth are such a tough crowd these days – they don’t care about learning! They don’t get off on learning about ‘produsers’ like I do! So, I just thought, even if I can’t hook them with the content, I can definitely hook them with the memes. If that means I have to call myself a thief, so be it! At least now I’m ‘down’ with the kids mwahahahaha.” Mr. LeVol has since been detained for threatening to cross well-established generational boundaries. The university is currently investigating the usage of memes amongst university staff, after receiving numerous tip-offs from anonymous sources. “We’re concerned that this is not an isolated incident,” said a spokesperson. “We have reason to suspect that many academics are conducting similar practices, embedding often out-of-date pop culture references within lecture slides, without following appropriate ethical rules.”
8am is a Really Good Time for a Funeral, Tutor Discovers DENIS CURNOW REPORTS
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round 90% of Melbourne’s funerals must happen at 8am on a Wednesday morning, if one criminology tutor’s attendance records are anything to go by. Bernie Green (26) has reported a massive spike in the deaths of his students’ obscure relatives and family friends since he moved his tutorial from a 2pm to an 8am timeslot. “I feel really sorry for one student in particular – Emily Cheering,” Mr Green said. “She’s already had 3 distant relatives pass away this sem, and it’s not even Easter. She doesn’t let it get her down though – if I didn’t know any better, I’d think she hadn’t gone through any tragedies at all!” When asked by our reporters about her personally challenging semester, Ms Cheering (20) was initially puzzled. “What are you ta- oh right, yeah nah it’s been really sad and stuff. Been grieving heaps. I was really close to my, uh, great-aunt. And the other ones too.” She further added that her consistent Wednesday morning absences were “completely unrelated” to the Shaw Davey Slum’s new 1.7L Furphy ‘MegaJug’ special on Tuesday nights. On the other hand, Puffy Bugle (25), the tutor whose class swapped time slots with Mr Green’s, seems to have superpowers of some sort. “I switched the tutorial to an afternoon time and all of a sudden people’s long-lost family members stopped dying,” Mr Bugle said. “It was a really weird coincidence.” The University has a new policy demanding that funeral books are now to be provided as evidence whenever a funeral is used as an excuse for absence. When told of this by our reporters, Ms Cheering seemed unfazed. “One of my friends actually works at a funeral home, so I can just ask her to give me any old funeral book that I *cough* forgot to take with me after the service,” she said, winking for some reason. We extend our sincerest condolences to Emily in this difficult time.
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CAMPUS
OFFICE BEARER REPORTS PRESIDENT/MOLLY WILLMOTT To paraphrase the N-Sync - it’s been May, so let’s talk about semester 1. It’s been a blast being your president for a whole 6 months! We’ve given away thousands of snags, had a yell about things like climate action and workers’ rights, and have been advocating for you on everything from your rights in the classroom to overall student experience. Next semester, the twilight of my UMSU years, is set to rival semester 1 – keep an eye out. Important reminder that if there’s been any issues with your exams, jump up to UMSU Advocacy for a hand. Willmott out!
GENERAL SECRETARY/REECE MOIR Hey! The Secretariat has been busy running meetings, talking with the University, etc. There’s been many events since last issue. Student Initiative Grants keeping coming in! Many projects/events are being partially funded by UMSU, including festivals and balls. If you’re interested in funding a project or event that you think may be of benefit to the student body, check out the application on the UMSU website! Keep an eye out for all the other important stuff our Departments are doing over the next few weeks in the lead up to exams and the break!
ACTIVITIES/LIAM O’BRIEN AND OLIVIA PANJKOV The Activities department has had a great couple of weeks. Sampa the Great played to an overflowing crowd and the energy was spectacular. Tuesday and Thursday BBQs continue to deliver the goods. If you haven’t checked them out yet, come to North Court 1-2pm on those two days, or come at 12pm if you want to help with cooking. Aaron Chen also hosted an awesome UMSU Comedy Competition. The Activities Semester 1 calendar finishes off with Trivia on Wednesday week 10. We have some exciting new events coming up next semester so watch this space and follow us on Facebook.
BURNLEY/JAMES BARCLAY
When the weather gets colder, the nights seem longer and your motivation to get outand about can seem to constantly evade you. Feeling less than enthused about the colder nights is common, but feeling very, very bleak during Winter might be somethingmore. SAD (seasonal affective disorder) has a seasonal pattern—you’re fine during the warmer months, but as the cold closes in, life feels too hard and all you want is hotbuttered toast in bed with a Netflix marathon. Less sun means less serotonin, as well as lower sunlight levels can throw off your body clock. If you think you’re experiencing SAD, google techniques to help you through the winter.
CLUBS AND SOCIETIES/JORDAN TOCHNER AND CHRIS MELENHORST Fiona is away so we are very sad! We thank all the clubs for their patience and understanding as we both mourn her absence and attempt to compensate for the gaping hole she leaves in this department. In the meantime, we continue to work on getting the new clubs on their feet, welfare and constitution changes, the continuous flow of report writing and, of course, emails. Unfortunately, we also lost 50% of the clubs during the Thanos snap of 2019 so we are still recovering from that. Have a look at our Facebook page (@UMSUClubs) for a full list of the fallen
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CAMPUS
CREATIVE ARTS/ELLIE HAMILL AND LUCY HOLZ Mudfest Artist Applications have closed, and we are well underway to putting together an exciting and original program of art! We have an incredible festival team on board to help us bring Mudfest 2019 to fruition, ensuring everyone involved is supported and getting the most out of this opportunity. The festival dates are August 21 to 28, during week 4 and 5 of semester 2 uni, and will include work from Performing Arts, Visual Arts, Interdisciplinary Arts, Moving Image and Music categories. Make sure those dates are in your diary so you don’t miss out on your chance to see some next level student art!
DISABILITIES/LUCY BIRCH Come down to the disabilities space Thursday’s at 1pm for our mental wellness and disability collective. Beer and board games is on every even week during semester. If you would like to submit a disability related fiction or non fiction piece to our new imprint, please send a submission to disabilities@union.unimelb.edu.au. We’re paying for submissions! Look out for our ads on Facebook.
EDUCATION ACADEMIC/DOMINIC ROQUE ILAGAN AND ELIZABETH TEMBO Despite amicable meetings with the Law School’s management, they are intent on not making further changes on their recording policy so the matter has been escalated to the Provost. We patiently await his decree. The employability outcomes of undergrads can often be limited. Our pursuit for a better student experience led us to the Director of Student Success, Tim Brabazon. Great efforts have taken place to rectify this and more still will follow through our synergy. Also! EdCon Grants are open! Apply!
EDUCATION PUBLIC/CHARLI FOUHY AND CAMERON DOIG No OB report submitted.
ENVIRONMENT/ WILL ROSS It’s been a busy month for Enviro. We held Radical Education Week with resounding success, got students and staff talking together about divestment at our Sustainability Forum, and got into The Australian for talking with the People of Colour department about privilege. What else are we up to? We’re working with the Indigenous Department to put on a Welcome to Country and night of festivities at the Community Garden, and we’ll be stepping up to support School Strikers for Climate’s election work. The Students of Sustainability conference is also coming up in late July - check it out online. See you there.
INDIGENOUS/JORDAN HOLLOWAY-CLARKE AND LAURA BROWN No OB report submitted.
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CAMPUS
PEOPLE OF COLOUR/FARAH KHAIRAT AND MARK YIN PLEASE SUBMIT TO MYRIAD! Acacia missed it, our beautiful magazine has opened submissions for 2019 and we can’t wait to see all your fantastic work blossom to fruition. We’re accepting all kinds of work from PoC creatives, from non-fiction or narrative written pieces, poems, or reviews, to artwork, photos and graphics. In other news, if you’re reading this in SWOTVAC and you’re sycamore study spaces being full, come hang out with us! If we’re on holiday already, please don’t leaf us alone—lotus know what you’re doing, and keep up with our shenanigans on Facebook and Instagram!
QUEER/ANDIE MOORE AND WILL PARKER No OB report submitted.
SOUTHBANK/LILY EKINS No OB report submitted.
WELFARE/ASHWIN CHHAPERIA AND NATASHA GUGLIELMINO Hey everyone ! We hope you’ve had a fantastic semester 1. We’ve just finished Stress Less Week & had heaps of fun giving you all the free stuff (eg. bouncy castle, fresh fruit & snacks in libraries, dogs?!). Our daily breakfasts & wellbeing classes (yoga and meditation) have also been super popular, so we hope you’ve taken advantage! We’ve got heaps planned for next sem so hope to see you around! All the best for exams, you’ve got this
WOMEN’S/ARIA SUNGA AND HANNAH BUCHAN We hope your winter break was lit and you spent a lot of time doing fun womanly things. This semester, you can look forward to Women in Higher Education Week in early August, Judy’s Punch (our annual department magazine), and heaps more great stuff. We’ve also got our regular events - Women of Colour Collective (Tuesday 12-1pm in the Women’s Room), Women’s Collective (Wednesday 12-1pm in the Women’s Room) and Southbank Collective. Women women women women women women women women women women women.
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ART BY MARTA PRATICÃ’ /
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NONFICTION
Content Warning: homophobia
AM I DOING IT RIGHT? TILLI FRANKS SPEAKS TO ALEX LAHEY
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ront-man Georgia Maq closed Camp Cope’s Falls Festival 2017 act demanding that 2018 be the year that minorities take to the forefront of the music scene. As I stood on the grass field, surrounded by hundreds of fans applauding this controversial statement—their song ‘The Opener’ takes aim at the exclusionary nature of the industry with lines such as “yeah just get a female opener, that’ll fill the quota” and “it’s another straight cis man who knows more about this than me”—I found myself wondering about the experience of being a gay woman in such an environment. I immediately thought of Alex Lahey and the bravery she expresses by relaying her experiences through her music, while rarely explicitly referencing the double whammy of discrimination queer women are subjected to. The first time I heard of Alex Lahey was 2017. My thengirlfriend went to the launch of her first album in Melbourne and told me about this gay female rock artist who absolutely shredded on the guitar and held the audience in the palm of her hand. As a British-born-New-Zealand raised lesbian, I knew embarrassingly little about either the Australian music scene or LGBT representation within it. But from the first time I heard the titular track of her record, ‘I Love You Like A Brother’, I fell under Lahey’s spell. I got the chance to speak with Alex Lahey recently, and we discussed what it’s like for her as a gay woman to navigate an industry notorious for its sexism. She told me that at first, she was worried about the press pigeonholing her. “I think that being a woman in any industry is really hard. That’s just the world that we live in,” she began, before recounting a conversation she had with Sara Quin from Tegan and Sara when she toured with them earlier in her career. “I was saying to her, ‘you guys have paved the way, you guys were doing it in the late nineties when publications were calling you like, ‘menstrual pop’ and all sorts of derogatory stuff like that!’ And she was like, ’yeah and you need to keep paving it. We’ve paved the way to a point, and now it’s time to hand it over to other artists like you.’ Then she said something along the lines of, if you practice 26
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what you believe the norm should be, then the norm will follow. And I feel like that has been my attitude towards being a woman and being a queer woman professionally. It shouldn’t fucking matter, and I’m not going to temper the decisions I make to appease those things.” It’s been a long and slow road, but we’re gradually seeing more diverse artists gaining recognition within the entertainment business. That’s certainly not to say we don’t have a way to go—but with each stand against conformity, a path is made for more to follow. When it comes to being a role model for other gay women aspiring towards straight-male-dominated careers, Alex is passionate about the effect that minority representation can have for people of all demographics. She recounted an encounter she had while playing a show in the US: “This woman came up to me, and she was like ‘it’s really good to see someone on stage who looks like me.’ And we didn’t look anything alike, but I loved that. It wasn’t about looking like someone; it was about identifying with someone. When you and I were growing up, there wasn’t any gay people on TV, and if there were, they were super stereotyped and usually men. I feel like now, kids are able to have those people in front of them on the telly, and it’s changing the norm. And if I can contribute to that, that’s a really big part of my mantra achieved.” To some extent, Alex chalks this success up to her ’gay experience’ being different to that of the common LGBT experience. Alex explained that she never really “came out.” “I just got a girlfriend when I was sixteen. Which is where [my] naivety comes from. I was like ‘oh yeah, so you know so-and-so who’s been staying over? Well …’ and everyone was like ‘oh we had no idea …’” She laughed. Alex revealed that when she had her first real confrontation with homophobia in her late teens, she was mostly surprised, rather than upset. “I was like, oh my God, people actually think this? Like, this is ridiculous! Of course. we’re still the outsider,” she noted, “but all that I know is that I was born like this, and I’ve been lucky enough to be raised in an environment where that’s never been questioned, and it’s always been accepted.” Yet she feels strongly that her sexuality isn’t the
focal point of her personality or music. “It’s funny, because whether you do or don’t define [yourself by a marginalised identity] they’re both very empowering things to do. But I just don’t want anyone to ever feel that they have to limit themselves in a certain way because of the way they identify.” Alex wants to break the barriers by placing the emphasis on her craft and talent. However, in “There’s No Money” from Alex’s first album, there’s a particularly powerful line that references the fact that Australia didn’t have marriage equality yet: “we can’t marry even if we want to.” I asked her what inspired her to put that line in, considering her music doesn’t usually contain explicit references to what she believes has “almost become a secondary part of [her] story.” She explained it was the irony of her situation—her younger brother marrying someone he hadn’t known for very long against the backdrop of the debate over marriage equality—that influenced her to include the lyric. “They’re still together and I love them very much,” she said, “but it was a kind of social reflection on the basis of personal circumstances.” Like many LGBT people at the time, Alex felt the effects of the debate and referendum keenly. When I asked her how it impacted her sense of identity, she was upfront that for her there were positive and negative aspects. “The results of the marriage equality vote going through opened up a whole new world for me in terms of what I could see in my future,” she remarked, before expressing concern over the far-reaching consequences. “The only thing I felt during [the survey] was a huge amount of fear for young queer people. I thought that the survey was a real cop out, especially on Malcolm Turnbull’s part, and I think that he should be ashamed that he put that through in the first place because it put so many people at risk.” When I asked if she had any advice for young gay artists coming out and starting in the music industry, Alex reiterated the importance of paving your own path, but also not being afraid to confide in those with more experience. “When you have another agenda going
alongside your craft, then it does get conflicting,” Alex reflected. “And sometimes you get asked things, or asked to do things, that you don’t quite know if that feels like that’s the right thing to do, and it’s okay to feel conflicted about those things and okay to talk about it.” When I pressed her on how she dealt with this, she explained: “You challenge things when you don’t think that’s the way it should be. At the end of the day, what do you think the world should look like? And I don’t think people’s gender or sexuality should come into defining who they are as an artist on anyone else’s account other than their own.” And her advice seems worth taking. Since the release of her 2016 EP B-Grade University, Alex has continued to attract success with her first full length album, I Love You Like A Brother in 2017. Now she’s back, with her upcoming album The Best of Luck Club due out in May. Recorded in October of last year, Alex co-produced the record with Catherine Marks, a producer and sound engineer. “I think I look at every album as somewhat of a growth, you know. I can tell you that the process in which [this album] was made is drastically different to anything that I’ve done before. The songs kind of really encompass a specific period of my life, as opposed to be[ing] a collection of songs from my whole song-writing life, which people’s first albums tend to be.” What makes this album special is the insularity of the creative approach she and Marks took. Alex played most of the instruments on the record, save for the drums and her partner on the keys. “It was pretty much literally just Catherine and I in the studio the whole time,” she said. Not only that, but Alex disclosed that almost all the vocals on the new album were raw takes she recorded as she wrote the song. “It means that what you’re hearing is actually the first time the words have ever been sung. It wasn’t a conscious thing, that’s the way that it went, and that’s kind of special and meaningful.” There is no doubt that Alex Lahey has a bright future of paving new paths, from which one day a whole new generation of female and LGBT musicians will be able to forge their own. 27
COLUMN
DOUBLE TAKE KAAVYA JHA ASKS WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ONE HIT WONDER
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ince the early eons of the internet, wacky and wonderful curiosities have managed to weasel their way to the core of our online experience. For late teens and early twenty-somethings, viral phenomena like Rebecca Black’s nasal singing about days of the week, or Crazy Frog’s downright painful “ring ding ding daa baa”, seem ingrained into our collective memories. But today, with the online world more intertwined with our daily activities more than ever before, it feels like the one-hit wonder has gone missing. Are random images and videos still able to permeate internet culture the way they used to five or ten years ago? 2019 has seen more memes than ever before, but they aren’t quite the same. While memes seem to cover an innumerable selection of topics, they have more similar than one might think. Academics taking this topic far more seriously than even I identify memes to have three key properties: intertextuality (memes usually reference other concepts or memes); indexicality (one element of a meme can be applied to many contexts); and templatability (a recognisable format for creating new memes). While often nonsensical by nature, memes are becoming an easy format for social and political discourse. But it wasn’t always this way. To quote Tywin Lannister, a lion doesn’t concern himself with the opinions of sheep—and neither does Salad Fingers. The viral sensations of the mid 2000s had an ability to permeate our culture without any need for political commentary or easily imitable structure. There are a few reasons for this change. Previously, the internet’s greatest appeal was its ability to allow all of us to share the same content, but now it lies in its extremely niche communities. Mass hysteria online still exists, but it is contained to that specific group or fandoms while the rest of the internet simply observes without participating. Just take a look at K-pop, or the dozens of YouTube channels that deconstruct each frame
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of a movie or music video to millions of engaged “stans”. Today there is a greater depth of appreciation, but it comes at the loss of the global visibility of a decade ago. There is still content that reaches us all, but these tend to be news stories of political disasters and international tragedies instead of the trivial and downright bizarre. We have so much (often negative) news taking up our mental bandwidth that we no longer want to engage with content outside of our specific interests. And like most good things in the world, the concept of “going viral” has been hijacked by corporations trying to relate to the youth to increase margins. Spotify’s genuinely hilarious billboard campaign may be great content—and great marketing—but it seems to have dealt the final blow to the magic of viral content. Maybe I’m wrong and jaded from years of internet use, nostalgic for a time when my browser was still a portal into a world of wonder, free from the woes of LinkedIn and Lecture Capture. Perhaps viral phenomena that takes the world by storm still exists today, but I’m just too old to see them the same way. Young kids latch onto fads and trends due to greater impressionability and the need for social approval, characteristics we have grown out of. But like each generation before them, today’s tweens have interests that everyone older loves to look down on. Maybe Tik Tok is today’s Crazy Frog and Fortnite is this generation’s Nintendogs. Growing up, I really enjoyed the shared online experience, to be a part of an era where you knew millions of others had the same emotional reaction to internet marvels. Who could forget their awe and infatuation at the first cute cat meme they saw, or the Charlie Bit My Finger videos, or urban legends, or links to shock sites that traumatised a generation of young internet users... Actually, maybe I am very happy that the era of the viral video is over.
ART BY REANN LIN /
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NONFICTION
A POCKET OF PEACE IN THE AUSTRALIAN
SARAH PETERS GOES FOR A WALK
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’ve found that my anxiety lessons on bushwalks. Standing still, the cool breeze against my skin, able to hear birds, frogs, and the rustle of leaves in the wind. I am able to free myself of societal constraints, prejudice and discrimination. There’s nothing like it; I become emotional. I take photos and try to breathe enough of the wild into my lungs before their next day of heavy heaving, faced with an essay or stress that catches my mind like a bug in a web. The millennial desire to uproot and live elsewhere is a growing trend among online platforms like Tumblr and Twitter. A search for ‘forest’ on Tumblr will lead you to a range of text posts: “Sorry mother, I’m abandoning society and going to live in the forest again,” or, “all I want to do is dance barefoot in the forest.” These are often supported by references to art and musicians that inspire these feelings, notably songwriter Hozier who almost appears as a tree deity. A brief stalk of Hozier’s Twitter shows he liked a post which says, “In honour of the first day of spring, lie down in the woods & let the dirt turn you into the tree you’ve always wanted.” I feel this.
I still yearn for the wind brushing through my hair and the smell of eucalyptus– an opportunity to escape the injustices within our ‘civilised’ society.
Forest. Woods. Bush. Regardless of differences in geography and living conditions, the sentiment appears to be universal. When I think of the forest I imagine stereotypically European pine trees with frosted tips. The woods–a cabin and trees that could be out of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. But the bush? Australian survival
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in an arena of eucalyptus. Venturing through Colley St. Reserve, or embarking on the 1000 Steps Kokoda Memorial Walking Trail, there’s an incredible calm. As I watch the crimson rosella dance through the trees there seems to be nothing like it. Despite my bad knee and mediocre health, I am completely at peace in the bush, with feelings of restoration and hope. However, long-term survival poses a problem. In California earlier this year, two sisters, five and eight, survived 44 hours in the woods before being rescued. The terrain was rugged but U.S. Program 4-H had taught them survival skills. In Australia, courses like Bush Lore and Wildcraft Australia exist, but doing these can’t ensure your survival, they just extend your skillset. After several years in Girl Guides, all I can consider are the knots I could tie, kayaks I could use, and how to find shelter and maintain a fire. It might get me by for a little while, but could I live into my old age? Probably not. And whether I could survive anywhere other than the Victorian bush is also up for debate, when I consider how expansive Australia is. Our state’s prevalence of bushfires is a lingering thought. Friends were evacuated from bushfires in the Bunyip area earlier this year–a situation that brings nothing but panic. Despite the VicEmergency app on my phone, I can’t move past the 15,588ha that were burnt. Despite the ease the bush alludes to, I have to consider the times it leaves me fearful. I have to consider whether I would have the ability to survive within it or defend it if flames were promised. My First Aid certificate wouldn’t be enough–the bush harbours more than my skillset offers. Despite this I still yearn for the wind brushing through my hair and the smell of eucalyptus–an opportunity to escape the injustices within our ‘civilised’ society. The young Californian girls did not run away, they found themselves lost. But for many of us, it is the act of running that we dream of. When people run away it is often as a result of forms of harm or injustice against them, and political forms of harm are no exception. At the core of these seems to be the existence of fear and the need to rebuild themselves outside of what we know. For each person this is different. When I consider
BUSHLAND the suffering that goes on in and beyond Australia, the deaths and horrors that millions face, I tighten up. What can one person do to change the world? When I consider all the things my family doesn’t know about me, the ways I suffer, the words I write–I wonder how they would react. I want to run from their opinions before I see them. Each is a tick in the list of anxieties I carry with me at all times. Each anxiety is a product of the world we live in, which doesn’t provide enough for its homeless, its abused, its sick–the list goes on. And at the end of it I feel trapped knowing I can never truly do enough to alleviate the social constraints that may hold another person back. Shelter, warmth, water and food. The United Nations (UN) lists these as human rights, but when they are not universal human rights in current society or within the bush, does it matter where we run to? I read the UN’s decree, “No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment,” and consider the bush again. The bush treats everybody the same–perhaps it is cruel in its own way, but it’s not human. It does not subject people to an unmalleable political climate of white supremacy, baby boomer culture, or prejudice for minority groups. The bush just is. When I described this piece to a friend she agreed it was a uniquely millennial feeling, as some people have “made reality shitty and are doing nothing to better it”. We are young, and we have grown tired of fighting for things that should be accessible to all humans, not just the white, rich elite. In popular dystopian series, The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins depicts the nature of this kind of fight. Retreating into the earthly security of the wilderness can’t save Katniss and her family forever. At 16 she is forced to fight the murderous Capitol, becoming the symbol for a rebellion that nearly costs her, her life. She talks of running away, but she fights to save her family, her people, and their forest–she fights for District 12. The forest is a mental sanctuary worthy of protection, filled with the animals her family must live off. Like Millennial and Gen Z youth, she shares our hope for natural, nourishing spaces of safety away from the political regimes that attempt to diminish our
lives and communities. Similar powers to those in The Hunger Games continue to impede many Australian communities, and have done since colonisation. The number of people who have had their human rights removed or denied is extensive and when political powers continue to dampen voices, the desire to run away lingers. We are anxious about the mistreatment and the fight as our safety continues to be compromised. And thus, we find ourselves looking for those untouched pockets of peace where we can live with equal rights. When I was younger, I would power up my Nintendo DS to play Animal Crossing: Wild World. Here my problems were resolved with fishing, catching bugs or shaking trees. The only harm that can come to you within the game is from bee stings, but even this is easily cured with medicine. Outside this, you are safe. You are liked, admired and supported by the townsfolk who will send you letters and greet you each day. You have responsibilities, but otherwise you are safe from harm and few economic limitations or political prejudices can hold you back. In this little digital world, I was able to search for ways to make my home my own, grow trees and flowers and live peacefully. The desire to protect is of course an element of home-making. In the bush, fires act as reminders that this environment may only last so long, and the startling political ignorance regarding climate change offers no resolution to my panic. But the space itself, between the trees and their history, offers me a small space of security and a moment in time where I can just exist without the pressure of society upon me. There’s no way I could live in the bush long-term. I don’t have the experience or enough knowledge of survival and land. Regardless, I continue to look to the land, thinking of the trees I would climb as a child, the plants my friend’s fill their houses with, and how I can breathe on bushwalks. These are spaces where there is hope and ease which can surpass the anxiety of our political climate. These are memories and feelings I want to protect as I fight against my anxiety and continue to immerse myself in the peace of the wild.
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COLUMN
DIASPORA DILEMMAS VEERA RAMAYAH ON LANGUAGE AND IDENTITY
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magine being one-quarter Sindhi, one-quarter Bengali, one-quarter Tamil and one-quarter Telegu and not being able to speak any of the languages from these areas. Imagine being the colour of a perfectly blended hot chocolate from Standing Room, but sounding like a cup of tea with almost a whole bottle of milk poured in. I cannot speak any Indian language. I’ve tried to skirt around this fact, relying on my broken knowledge of Hindi to get me through introductions with fellow desis around uni. But, there comes a time in every conversation where my limited knowledge cannot keep up and I shrink back into myself. I come from a large family that resembles a patchwork quilt of different regions of India all sewn together. Each part of my family has its own set of traditions, unique to the region that they come from. Language is no stranger to this, with four or five different languages being spoken throughout my family. Hindi sounds like summer. Sweet, romantic, hazy naps. It sounds like my Nani asking Dadu if he wants chai, or what he would like for dinner. It sounds like home. Bengali sounds like colour. Its an injection of life and bubbly energy. It’s like a constant stream of happiness and love, carried on a cloud of smiles. Tamil sounds like Singapore. It sounds like my dad singing old songs late into the evening, my athai’s plethora of recipes for south Indian food and like my maternal grandmother crocheting in her wooden chair facing the garden. Sindhi sounds like a sister. A secret language between my Nani and her sister, the way they slip into it no matter how long it been since they’ve spoken, reminds me of how the ties of this patchwork family are never going to break. It’s an outsider, foreign and mysterious, but beautiful nonetheless. I sometimes silently try to practice Hindi to myself. I listen to my carefully curated Indian playlist and emulate the lyrics to the best of my limited ability. I break down the words in my head, but the minute I try and speak out loud, even if its just to myself in the mirror, these beautiful words suddenly feel so heavy in my mouth. Out of place.
These languages are too foreign for this white tongue. I feel like a stranger in my own culture, my skin. What is culture if not held together by the language? And what is my plethora of cultural ties if not held together by any language? Instead, I resort to asserting myself, and my brownness through other means. I’ve tried to define my identity without language, but it’s proven futile. I still feel in between, too white for the East and way too brown for the West. I feel as though without a language to ground me, I’ll never truly belong in my ‘motherland’. My knowledge of Hindi has gotten remarkably better the longer I’ve spent with my grandparents. They can no longer communicate in ‘secret’, as I am able to glean what’s being said despite my knowledge of just a few key words and phrases. I listen desperately, reaching out my childish hands trying to greedily grip at any possibility for understanding. I let the few words I do know act as support, as I shakily try to stand my ground during conversations. Ultimately, I let imagination fill in the blanks and hope that context is enough of an ally, allowing for me to smile and nod in the background. Language has robbed me of the ability to communicate. My paternal grandmother only spoke Tamil and Malay fluently, and I was so young when she was alive. Our conversations were silent, instead of talking, we made faces and sang to each other. We were separated by the glass barrier of language. In saying that, laughter was the rock that eventually smashed the barrier. When we were laughing, the fact that we couldn’t hold conversation meant nothing. She would scoop me up into her lap and I would breathe in her coconut oil and clove scent whilst I slept on her and she called me “ammadey”. The need for a common language didn’t seem so important then, but I wish seven-year-old me had more of a handle on communication, so not all her stories were lost when we lost her too. When people ask me what I’m doing once I graduate, the only thing I know for certain is that learning one of those four languages is at the top of my to-do list. I’ve spent too long without being tethered to my mother tongue, and now she’s calling me home.
ART BY TIFFANY WIDJAJA /
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NONFICTION
A FIGHT FOR $75 IS A FIGHT FOR FREEDOM MARIA MATTHEWS WANTS TO RAISE NEWSTART
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ast year, I had been accepted to study the Master of Social Policy at the University of Melbourne. It was something that I was encouraged to do by the Professor of my undergrad, the Bachelor of Youth Work at Victoria University, due to my academic achievement, passion for youth issues, and a commitment to social justice on a structural level. I felt ecstatic, even though I did see a bit of an irony., Three years of hard work only to be rewarded with a further laborious three years? However, that feeling was short- lived when I found out a few things. Firstly, under the ‘Student Assistance (Education Institutions and Courses) Determination 2019’ created by Federal Minister for Families and Social Services Paul Fletcher, my course is not approved for eligibility for the Centrelink Austudy Payment. This concerned me as while I had casual work during my time at Victoria University, the student welfare payments helped in these times of precarious employment. I opted to apply for the Newstart Allowance, and to study parttime to allow time for myself to be compliant to the ‘mutual obligations’ that come with the payment. I was, and still am, intending to find part time work yet the Foundation of Young Australians estimated in 2016 that it takes an average of 2.7 years for young people to find any work after full time study. Under Newstart, the payment colloquially referred to as ‘the dole’, recipients on average receive $550.20 per fortnight or $39 a day. It, along with other Centrelink unemployed benefits like the Youth Allowance($249 $768 per fortnight, depending on the recipient’s living circumstances)hasn’t been fully reviewed since the Keating government increased payment rates according to the Consumer Price Index (CPI) in 1994. However, the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) records that the CPI for all groups in Australia have increased from 66.2 to 108.2 between March 1996 and March 2016. In layperson’s terms, a litre of milk was $1.03, petrol sold at $0.68 per litre, and the median house price in Victoria was $44, 000. . In 2019, the same items cost $1.45 for a litre of milk, petrol is $1.34, $815, 000 respectively. According to the Australian Council of Social Service (ACOSS), 55% of people on Newstart are living below
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the poverty line. It costs a minimum of $433 per week to afford the bare necessities like food, housing, clothing, transport, healthcare, and energy for a single person. AUWU claims that there is only one job available for every sixteen people looking for paid work, which means that 70% of people receiving Newstart have been unemployed for 12 months or more. People in this situation are dealing with dire circumstances in order to survive. The ABS stated in 2013 that 15% of students who are studying higher education rely on a government pension or allowance as their main source of income. While university itself proves to be stressful with assessments and exams, the added stress of making ends meet takes a toll on their emotional wellbeing. According to Mindframe, people aged 18 to 24- the tertiary education years- are most likely to have mental health concerns than any other age group in Australia. If we as a nation want to make serious improvements to young people’s mental health, we need to put pressure on the Federal Government to improve their material conditions. So why $75? ACOSS research shows that this amount will reduce poverty rates by 0.8 percent, and particularly benefit the bottom 5% of earners. For students, it will ease our worry and stress about day to day living. It correlates with reducing the demand for mental health services, which costs the nation $60 billion per year. On an individual basis, it means not having to make the difficult choice between not paying either rent, food, or bills. For students especially, this means not having to go without resources like textbooks , topping up their mykis, or participating in university life. The ‘fight for 75’ has not escaped the attention of organisations that fight for economic justice, like GetUp!, AUWU, and the broader union movement. I myself have joined YOUNG Campaigns, a newly founded, youthfocused activist group that focuses on issues like the ‘Fight for 75’ campaign. They play a vital role in engaging the public, helping them become better advocates for social change, and I hope more people can take interest in them. We need to take action in our communities, because this is a fight we literally cannot afford to lose.
COLUMN
KISS AND TELL A’BIDAH ZAID SHIRBEENI ON POLYAMOROUS RELATIONSHIPS
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y romantic life has always been one that is tumultuous. To my friends, it’s one heck of a reality tv show that is always on demand – ready to provide spicy content, tears and drama. A real life ‘The Bachelorette’ that they so happily tune in to weekly or have a one-sitting binge watch. “What’s the tea, Abby?” “What’s going on with you and *insert name*?” “Who’s the new person on your Instagram?” After quick little updates – well, updates for them, therapeutic sessions for me – they shake their heads, open their eyes real big and slip out the same phrase that I’ve heard countless times: “I don’t know how you do it.” I ask myself that sometimes too. Some of these friends have ridden through massive waves with me long enough to know that the saying ‘plenty of fishes in the sea’ is true and highly applicable for me. They’re also confident that should I ever get hit by a tsunami, I’d make it through. I’d swim to safety, climb a lighthouse, whatever. Somehow, I’d make it. Polyamory hasn’t been the easiest. Especially when the partners I seem to attract are monogamous.
Different people practice polyamory differently... Whatever the dynamics of the relationships are, it is always easier on paper.
Monogamous partners who either pretend like they’re okay with me being polyamory or are going with the flow in hopes that I’d pick them in the end. But what is the end? I’m not too sure. Marriage? A white picket fence, two kids and a cat? Talks about the future is always exciting with the one you love. But is there space for that when it comes to
the ones you love? A girl can dream. She can spend lazy afternoons cuddled up with her partner, giggling away, painting a beautiful picture of their would-be future and then reality hits her. What about her other partner? The one she loves just as much. Where do they fit in this? The guilt soon follows. Slowly, and then all at once. It turns into sadness and she quickly reminds herself that this kind of complexity is something she had foreseen when she chose to be in those relationships. Different people practice polyamory differently. Some become a throuple, some keep their relationships open, some keep it closed. Whatever the dynamics of the relationships are, it is always easier on paper. Some people are quick to assume that polyamory is for those with commitment issues or for those who are dissatisfied with their current relationship. I disagree. Polyamory requires navigating multiple relationships with people who are very different from each other. It requires maintaining a stable relationship with people who have different needs and desires. That said, it requires a very high level of commitment. On the other hand, polyamory isn’t and will never be the solution to fix a relationship. If you’re having difficulty with one relationship, what makes you think having another one will be wise? “You don’t even know if they’ll be there tomorrow, or the day after.” “You do know that relationships don’t always last, right?” And that is true. Regarding any relationship for that matter - monogamous or polyamorous. A relationship that’s gone on for years or a summer fling. No one wishes for their loving relationship to reach an end but when the time comes, it comes. A romantic like myself, someone who’d cross oceans for the people she loves, can vouch for that. It’s not being pessimistic, it’s being realistic. But do polyamorous relationships work out in the end? Yes, they could. I’ve read about it. I haven’t experienced it myself but I’m hopeful. Polyamory when done well can be extremely fulfilling. Again, just like any other relationship. Relationships in general can feel like being on a lifelong Caribbean cruise or a sinking ship. I’m on my Titanic. And if my Titanic were to hit an iceberg one fateful day, I’m positive I’d feel like it was a journey worth taking.
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Content Warning: ableism, chronic illness
COLUMN
LIVING WELL WHEN YOU’RE UNWELL
LOU WINSLOW ON LABELS AND ATTITUDES
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elcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell, a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness. How can I know if I am disabled enough to call myself disabled? -Anonymous Hi, anonymous. That’s a loaded question. There are different ways to define a disability, but the most general definition is the inability to complete a normal, daily task that you would be able to complete without a disability. This is a wide and varying definition. Some examples of this would be: • Inability to read because of a learning disability. • Inability to complete daily tasks because of a disability (e.g. cleaning, walking, standing for long periods of time). • Severe pain causing you to be unable to do certain tasks. This a really short and brief list, and not at all comprehensive, but it might help you be able to get a better understanding of disability. If you feel like you have a disability because you are not able to do certain things, whether that’s all the time or just when you have a flare up in a chronic illness, you shouldn’t feel weird about labelling yourself as a person with disability if you want to. Is a chronic illness a disability? -Curious about Chronic Illness There’s no overarching answer to this question but, in short, a chronic illness can be a disability. Someone with a chronic illness may or may not feel as though they
are living with a disability. For example, someone with fibromyalgia who is in constant pain may say they are living with a disability whereas someone with asthma who has had their asthma under control for years may or may not. If you feel like your chronic illness has a big impact on your life and often interferes with the way you live and the tasks you’re able to do, you may also identify as living with a disability. I started dating my boyfriend before I became ill. There are some things I can’t do now, but he says I just need to be in the right mindset. What can I do? -Relationship Issues I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with your illness and with your relationship. Unfortunately, having the right mindset can’t cure you or make you able to do things you weren’t able to do before you became ill. I’m sorry your boyfriend doesn’t understand that. You deserve to be able to say no when someone is going to impact your health without feeling guilty about it. It might be a good idea to sit down with your boyfriend talk about your needs. If he isn’t understanding and still wants you to push yourself when it could be detrimental to your own health, that isn’t okay. It’s important to have your body and boundaries respect in any situation.
Have a question on the general topic of disability and chronic illness? Send an email livingwell@farragomagazine. com to get your question answered. You don’t have to be living with a disability to send a question—any questions you might have about disability and health are welcome.
ART BY REANN LIN /
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NONFICTION
Content Warning: colonialism
THE MEANING OF WILDERNESS TARA JADWANI-BUNGAR ON DEFINING NATURE
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he word ‘wilderness’ conjures images of towering trees, forest paths, bubbling brooks and open skies. There are no buildings, no signs of human habitation, and there is a stillness or silence punctuated only by the wind, birdsong or animals scampering over leaf litter. This form of wilderness is linked to a longing for a life that is more in touch with the natural world. At the same time, this wilderness, in its emphasis on pristine, untouched nature, excludes human beings. How can we exist in wilderness if our very presence alters it and makes it less wild? The concept of wilderness is important because it affects environmental legislation and conservation efforts across the globe. If human presence destroys wilderness then the only way we can truly ‘save’ or preserve wilderness is to eliminate ourselves. This flaw in the concept of wilderness has been recognised. The IUCN’s most recent definition of wilderness areas emphasises that they “…do not exclude people. Rather, they exclude certain human uses, in particular industrial uses”. The IUCN also acknowledges “a fundamental human relationship” with wilderness. This development is linked to a shift away from the modern, Western idea of wilderness. It is a response to postmodernism and the growing demand for the inclusion and consideration of non-Western perspectives. The contradictions in the modern idea of wilderness originate from several movements in Western philosophy. One of the earliest of these is a natureculture dualism. This is the idea that nature is the opposite of culture. Nature is defined by what culture is not, and vice versa. Since culture is supposedly uniquely human, nature becomes anything not-human. This dualism has its roots in Ancient Greek and Roman philosophy which, according to Peter Coates, “endorsed the righteousness of human control” over nature. Seemingly in contradiction to this, nature and wilderness were also romanticised. The ideal, pastoral, bountiful landscape has taken several forms in Western philosophy, including the Garden of Eden and Arcadia. The idea of the sublime evolved in parallel to this. The sublime encompasses the feelings of awe and wonder that often border on terror when one experiences isolated untouched nature. Through this lens, pristine 42
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nature became a place for soul-searching or finding oneself; a place to escape to. However, this still positions human civilisation in opposition to wilderness. In order for human beings to live in wilderness we must not leave our mark on it, instead giving up a ‘civilised’ life and reverting to a Spartan, low-impact lifestyle. The result is that we glorify the areas that fulfil this idea of wilderness and, more significantly, disregard regions that do not meet these conditions. This has serious consequences for environmentalism. We prioritise the protection and preservation of areas that fulfil the romanticised image of wilderness. Management practices also become fixated on maintaining wilderness in this state, regardless of whether it is a product of natural, ecological processes. This completely contradicts the IUCN’s statement that wilderness areas should be “unmodified or slightly modified”. Similar contradictions appear in the US Wilderness Act in which wilderness areas should be “untrammelled by man” but, at the same time, are “preserved and managed” by human beings. In restricting wilderness to these pockets of grand, non-human landscapes, we exclude ourselves from wilderness. Excluding ourselves from wilderness prevents us from treating our human-made environments as a part of Earth’s biome and our existence as ecologically significant. Environmental historian William Cronon believes that this prevents us from “discovering what an ethical, sustainable, honourable human place in nature might actually look like”. By disregarding the wilderness of our own, citified environments we ignore our impact on our environment and what we can do to maintain its health. The need for a new definition of wilderness grows as sublime, untouched wilderness inevitably disappears. As the human population increases, it becomes increasingly unrealistic to try and preserve pockets of untouched land. Redefining wilderness is essential to changing environmental legislation, preserving biodiversity and preserving the environments that human beings depend on. Outside of Western philosophy, many cultures do not consider nature and wilderness as separate and outside of human beings and culture. Indigenous Australians,
for example, have a relationship with country that is diametrically opposed to Western approaches to nature. The NSW National Parks and Wildlife Service described this relationship as “a system of kinship with the natural world” as well as “a worldview…in which the natural world and humans are participants in life processes”. There is a belief in “ecological connectivity” which manifests as respect and “care for country”. Whereas Western approaches to wilderness have been defined by a nature-
The need for a new definition of wilderness grows as sublime, untouched wilderness inevitably disappears.
culture dualism, the Indigenous Australia framework is one of “connectivities between humanity and nature”. This approach avoids the dualisms which exclude human beings from nature and recognises that human communities are also ecological communities. Additionally, the modern Western idea of wilderness, which excludes human beings, has been used to justify the removal of Indigenous peoples from their land. Seeking to minimise human presence and modification in so-called wilderness areas has led to the dispossession of indigenous lands from Native North Americans. Thus, the modern, Western idea of wilderness is also racist, excluding specific groups of human beings from wilderness. Besides being used to aid colonisation and the destruction of indigenous cultures, this perspective dismisses indigenous knowledge of ecosystems. With the emergence of ecology, accompanied by a
rapid and continually accelerating loss of biodiversity, the idea of wilderness has recently undergone necessary changes. The nature-culture dualism of Western philosophy promoted an anthropocentric worldview. Twentieth-century ecologists Aldo Leopold and John Stanley Rowe argued that “ecocentrism, defined as a value-shift from Homo sapiens to planet earth”, is necessary to remedy the environmental crisis. Ecocentrism places human beings within the biosphere: it “expands the moral community” so that ethical practices are extended to ecosystems themselves. The development of new ideas in ecology, such as urban ecology, also reflect a breakdown of the modern, Western idea of wilderness. John Marzluff, a professor of wildlife science, defines urban ecology as “the study of ecosystems that include humans living in cities and urbanising landscapes”. Previously, ecology prioritised the study of untouched, pristine ecosystems – or wilderness. In contrast, urban ecology challenges the nature-culture dualism as it “aims to understand how human and ecological processes can coexist in humandominated systems”. This movement within ecology may suggest that the modern idea of wilderness should be abandoned entirely. Post-modern criticism argues that wilderness no longer exists because there are no more pristine natural spaces. However, the IUCN believes that wilderness is still significant to human culture and calls for “a new view of the human relationship to nature: one of respect, reciprocity and partnership, a philosophy and practice far more familiar to most Indigenous Peoples”. By re-fashioning their definition of wilderness, which underpins environmental legislation across the globe, the IUCN has provided a guide for a more sustainable approach to conservation. The resulting new idea of wilderness, drawing on indigenous philosophies and new movements in science, counters the nature-culture dualism, Arcadian vision and the sublime of Western philosophy. In this post-modern wilderness, human beings do not exist separately from wilderness but inhabit it. In redefining wilderness to include ourselves, we are laying the foundations for a sustainable future. 43
COLUMN
MYTHOLOGIES
IRIS SHUTTLEWORTH ON VISIBILITY AND VULNERABILITY i. t has become more or less axiomatic that if women want to achieve equality in our time, we must first strip ourselves bare—revealing our worst shames, heartaches and sins so that we may be seen as utterly human. To be a woman in public these days is—more often than not—to be in the business of confession. I am talking about the vast proliferation of personal essays online, in which one details a particularly harrowing personal experience, usually in exchange for a paltry sum of cash and a great deal of public humiliation. In the wake of the #MeToo movement, media companies realise that they could get a lot of attention from publishing stories of pain and abjection, often written by young, precarious women who are desperate to get their foot in the door. I do not want to argue that all confessional writing is bad, or that anyone doing the confession is necessarily being exploited. There is power (I am told) in telling your own story and in being heard. Good writing has a transformative, even redemptive quality. Far be it from me to deny women their own subjectivity. My problem lies not with the writers of personal essays, but with an industry that profits off the pain of precarious people, and the common assumption that all women’s writing is autobiographical by default. Perhaps the worst of this trend is exemplified through the popular clickbait website, Bustle, a women’s lifestyle magazine that gets 43.8 million unique visitors in a month. To maximise its ability to produce titillating content, it sends its “Bustle Writers Identity Survey” which contains a set of highly personal questions such as: “have you ever had a medical abortion,” “have you been date raped” or “have you suffered from domestic violence”. I think we can agree that these are highly inappropriate questions for an employer to ask of their staff under any circumstance, and certainly unacceptable questions to pose under duress. It is heavily implied that if a staff writer does not fill out this survey, then they will be sidelined in their job and will not be assigned to write pieces for the website. These questions are asked of writers who reportedly only make $15 an hour on 6-hour shifts. Clearly, telling one’s own personal story is much less profitable than it is to publish someone else’s. This is confession produced at an industrial scale. Impersonal, mass produced, written by women who don’t have money to line the pockets of men who do.
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ii. If all you knew about young women was what you read in a magazine like Bustle or XoJane, you would think that our lives were spent in a state of heterosexual abjection. One would assume that our lives were confined
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/ ART BY MONIQUE O’RAFFERTY
to the bedroom and the waiting room. The pain is the point. It would be dishonest to pretend that these stories are only popular because they are righteous. People find titillation, some kind of sick thrill, in the suffering of others. Susan Sontag writes of the “voyeuristic lure” of war photography “the possible satisfaction of knowing this is not happening to me” (2003, pg. 99). The fact of pain does not offer a solution. It is easy to become inured to pain, especially when you believe that there is nothing that can be done about it. “Compassion is an unstable emotion”; it must be translated into action or it dies. The sheer scale of confessional writing that exists online in 2019 can feel like background noise. Another quotidian tragedy, sensational and familiar at once. iii. No therapist in their right mind would suggest total publicity as a cure for trauma. The internet can be an awful place and exposing a young and hungry writer to the scrutiny of trolls and cynics everywhere can be psychologically damaging to say the least. Yet, it is this sort of labour that we are expected to do if we want to be free from the scourges of sexual assault, reproductive discrimination and other forms of marginalisation based on intersecting identities. If we want to normalise abortion, we are supposed to shout about our own. If we want to end sexual harassment in the workplace, we must provide lurid details of casting couches and wandering hands. Writer Lauren Oyler accuses her colleague Roxane Gay of laziness for not sharing the exact details of her gang rape, as if she has an obligation to show in unflinching detail the worst day of her life, not only to strangers but presumably to her friends and family who will be reading her book and will be horrified by such specificity. iv. The pain these essays reveal is real. It is a story worth telling. But it is a story worthy of compensation, and not a story that every woman is obligated to tell. You need not show the world your wounds just to prove that you bleed.
Works Cited Juzwiak, Rich. “Bustle and the Industrialisation of Confession.” Gawker (2016). Web. Oyler, Lauren. “Bad Feminism and Its Discontents.” Book Slut (2014). Web. Sontag, Susan. On Regarding the Pain of Others. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2003. Print.
ART BY YUSHI WU /
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CREATIVE
FLASH FICTION
PROMPT: PERIODS
MY LOST SISTERS BY AMBER MEYER The imposing mass of hooded figures listened on, their arms linked like chains. The same energy surged through their bodies, painful and punishing. This was the Lost Sisterhood. “For too long, we separated for the protection of men. Scattered across the globe. Disconnected.” Each woman knew of their ancestral sacrifice. Muscular agony to constrain their strength. Cyclical bleeding to neutralise their immortality. No more. Almost all Sisters were here, in the proximity required for mass menstrual synchrony. The last remaining few will complete a union unseen in centuries. The divine union. Power shall return to each sister. “Now, we are in sync. Now, we rebel.”
breathe. BY MARK YIN you fill your lungs with the pummel of the blue-green majesty and you remember a time when he was here with you at the edge of the world, when he was here and his wide eyes would reflect every depth every expanse of the blue-green and you would see yourself in their every depth every expanse as well, and as you stand here now you wonder what it would have taken to staunch the bursting timelessness you had shared except retrospectively you know every detail of the other man with whom he had needed room to breathe, period.
FULLSTOP. BY CATRIONA SMITH The colour drops like tears down a cheek, like droplets of copper or fine wine. The ichor of fertility that runs between her legs captures her attention. The sight reminds her of the remains of iodine throat gargle as it runs down the drain, removing antigens and replenishing health. Dissimilarly, she feels dirty, unaware of the beauty, seeing dirty dishes served up to ungrateful mouths. The shame growing in her. But she will come to love her body. A figure filled with femininity, fertility and freedom. A place for life to grow, to become whole.
CYCLICAL BY TAYLOR THOMAS According to Hippocratic doctors, if you had too much blood in your system. You were too sanguine. Too carefree, too content. Now, a passing glance makes your stomach turn. It doesn’t go over your head. You’re not handling it. You’re not doing well. It’s sinking through your skin, the roots strong and deep. It moves through you like molasses: congealing, pouring, a brilliant red. The place where fruit falls from trees, hives die, crops wither, is the same place that you repentantly peel the matted briefs from your thighs. Hippocrates would be thrilled if he knew how miserable you are.
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/ ART BY LIZZY YU
COLUMN Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.
THE SUCCULENT BY SARAH PETERS You said water once a week and keep in direct sunlight but, I’m already trying to do this. I haven’t thought about life for so long, that dirt beds itself in my nails, behind my ears where I tuck vines back and once heard the fizz of lime hitting tonic in drinks with friends. The delight of a child picking their first apple from the tree that almost grew before lorikeets landed. The succulent was dying so I moved it from the window where it watched the world where we were left shrinking. I only ever feel moss, clumped in cried-out-corners darkness, tears begging me to grow. You tell me to be the gumleaf glow light hitting through the leaves illuminate the spine. Sun lets the succulent survive, It should work for me. Flourish withstand the world before weeds tangle my lungs holding vines, sucking bones waiting for spores to carry hope. You whisper a chance of sunlight strength.
ART BY LIZZY YU /
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CREATIVE
THE CURSED GIRL AND THE CAT BY RUBY ADAMS Monday Time to implement the plan! Dude, get the car, the maps, I know we’re starting out in suburbs but I swear to God we’ll make it to the mountains, we fucking have to. No no no no no shit no! I swear there aren’t even this many people living in Coburg, let alone dead—fuck shit get away from that window already. We’ll try the back lane. Are they flowing from the city like fucking peak hour? I shouldn’t have rented on a main road. Tuesday If only we’d heard sooner, honey, I’m sorry, or maybe if I’d got my motorbike license and had armour for some reason, and some shield for you, I don’t know, there must have been a way. But unless these zombies are the kind that get bored and sleep, we’re done. We can’t leave this house, not more than a few metres anyway, without getting bit, and even if this fort would hold I was planning to get groceries on Tuesday so we won’t last too long on this stuff. At least there’s still some Tim Tams left, though. Guess we’ve gotta count our blessings. Wednesday Hey Dude, that get-to-know-you question about what you’d eat for your last meal is finally gonna come in handy! Though I don’t have the mangoes and ice cream and liquor and cheese that I had in mind. I don’t even have cocoa for brownies. I wish I could just hop down
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/ ART BY MORGAN-LEE SNELL
to the supermarket. It’s only a block and a half, maybe when we run out of wine I’ll give it a try, hey? I mean what else is there to do? And I’m sorry that I went vego, I never intended to force you the same, but we’re low on your food. Honestly pumpkin is pretty meaty, you might like it. Thursday It’s times like this when I’m glad that I screenshot recipes rather than bookmarking them, or we would’ve eaten the chickpeas in a fucking salad. It’s not a habit that was aimed at post-apocalypse post-internet cooking, but look how things turned out. When any meal might be our last, we totally deserve falafels, don’t we? Mmm. I’m glad you’re with me, baby. Even now you help me fight my demons, or I might’ve just taken my chance with zombie-assisted suicide on that first day. Friday You know what I fucking hate? The noise of them. They might be dumb and weak as shit but they sound like a hundred clumsy orgasms moaning and shuffling at the windows like that. And they’re blocking the sun to my herbs on the sill. Ooh, but hey, speaking of orgasms, you know what was a blessing? Don’t give me that look, we have to count our blessings. So yeah, I’m gonna say it. That I bit the bullet and bought that vibe the other week! Maybe I should get a taste of my future, give myself a ‘little death’, ay? Okay, go sulk in the corner, you’re just jealous. I’m gonna go check if it still has batteries.
AND THE APOCALYPSE Saturday Fuckkk I’m so over stale bread! You must be over stale biscuits and veggie scraps, I guess. Do you have a headache? I have a headache. Do you even get headaches? I haven’t eaten enough protein, that’s the problem. I know I’m a cheapo with a diet normally dominated by rice and pasta, but not to this extent. We’re even out of peanut butter! Stale toast with margarine isn’t really a breakfast. I’m a big breakfast kinda girl, like you. Plus I’ve run out of books. This is getting shitter by the day. Sunday Do you want it to end? We could both give in, but I need your consent. Why can’t you give it in some clear way? Please. I couldn’t give up myself and let you die, but I can’t kill you first unless you make it really clear. Even then, I might not have the guts, but I’ll try. I promised I’d do my best to be good to you, remember? When you were a grumpy boy in the shelter and I was a sad girl in need of company and I picked you? Monday Hmm? What’s up, Dude? God, it’s barely dawn, what’s got into you? Can’t I even sleep in after the apocalypse? What’s that noise? Oh, fuck. It sounds like they’re inside, I think, I don’t know which room though, fuck. Thanks for getting me up, I love you. You’re my best buddy til the end, ay?
Well we’d know if they were upstairs, and I think they’d manage the stairs, so they must be in the laundry or toilet down there, I guess. S’pose one of the windows finally caved. Well, let’s put a cupboard against the door and see how long it lasts. I’m not going to hide here without even a cup of tea, are you? Our end might be nigh, but since we’ve got this far, let’s get some breakfast. Toast or—fuck! You quiet shit! I’ll close this—door—if it—fucking—kills me—Ha! That bitch could’ve reached me just then but you distracted it, Dude! FUCK—NO! YOU CAN’T HAVE DUDE!! Tuesday We’re leaving this room today, man, I’m really fricking hungry and you must be too. So we have to figure out what exactly the deal is, and figure out a way to shield you. Hey, baby, stop thanking me, I know you would’ve done the same. Right? Hmm. Would you? You are a selfish boy, but I love you. Anyways, I didn’t die, so it was kinda just a symbolic gesture. I didn’t have to follow through. But back to the issue at hand: they are outside that door. And we are going downstairs to get toast. More than toast. I’m going to cook those last lentils too. Yesterday was still a reminder to appreciate every minute. But I’m getting off track again. What do we know? That they’re outside that door. That they will try to eat you. That I would rather die first than watch that. And the weird part—that they don’t seem to want to eat me.
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FAULTY FIZZLES BY THARIDI WALIMUNIGE berating Freckles for being a very bad boy, yes you are, which was just as good since Jesmintha’s bathtub was calling to her. “Aunty, can I head off? I wanna try it out!” Her aunt mumbled an affirmative against Freckles’ fur before Jesmintha raced home. The bath bomb had been a delight for about five minutes. The walls became soaked in the scents of pear and cinnamon as the bomb fizzled into a pool of green.
F
or the record, Pleasures and Passion isn’t a BDSM shop. The only desire Jesmintha’s ever harboured here is the desire to flee. Don’t be mistaken, it’s an honest business. Nothing that actually deserves Jesmintha’s sentiments, but Jesmintha is currently at that stage in life where every turn of event feels like a personal attack on her pride. In other words, she’s fifteen. And her aunt Rita owns a bits-and-bobs store with a title that couldn’t have better suited a trashy erotica. So Jesmintha figures her dramatics are warranted. Still, despite the flush of embarrassment that races down her spine whenever she reads the storefront sign, she never turns back. One, because she hasn’t yet mastered the art of disobeying her mother, and if her mother says that she’s to visit Aunt Rita then Jesmintha will be there, smiling like she has nothing better to do than model her aunt’s latest line of shawls. And two, because Pleasures and Passion houses a fix that Jesmintha can’t get anywhere else. Bath bombs. Specifically, Aunt Rita’s handcrafted, organicallysourced bath bombs. Infused with floral scents and available in an array of colours that really shouldn’t get a fifteen-year-old’s heart rate soaring, any one of these bath bombs will work like a treat. But Jesmintha has her sight set on one in particular. Her aunt had called the day before and announced that she’d come up with a new flavour, and the promise of a pear and cinnamon heaven had her through the bead curtains and into the incenseheavy store. “Is it ready?” “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had a niece who loved me enough to say hello?” Aunt Rita sighed longingly. “Oh, right. Hi Aunty! Is it ready?” “Yes, yes. It’s in the workshop. I would’ve brought it out front had Freckles not caused a mess. Long story short the fat lump jumped on the workbench, knocked over some chemicals and sent them spilling into the new batch. Wasn’t a big deal though. I salvaged what I could.” During Aunt Rita’s recount of the incident, and Freckles’ subsequent yowling at being called out, Jesmintha had made her way to the back of the store and was holding the pale green creation. She could see little shards of cinnamon housed in the ball. “It’s glowing! None of your others did that...” “Hmm?” Aunt Rita had become preoccupied with 50
/ ART BY CHARANJA THAVENDRAN
With her classical playlist serenading her, Jesmintha enjoyed her muscles sighing and her thoughts slowing their buzzing wings. Then the twitching began. It started with her left toe. The appendage jerked as a tingling sensation washed over it, as if someone were sprinkling pepper on exposed nerves. Jesmintha didn’t open her eyes though, dismissing the sensation as a case of illtimed pins and needles. But the twitching persisted and within minutes her whole body was terrorised with little spasms shooting up and down, all around her form. Her eyes snapped open to the sight of a gelatinous body of liquid encasing her. She wasn’t sure it was water anymore, what with it now glowing a toxic green. Jesmintha gasped in alarm and straightened to exit the tub, only for her feet to slip. The goo swallowed her head with a resounding pop!
Incoming Call: Jes Accept “Hello?” “Steph? It’s Jes. I—I, um, something’s wrong.” “Are you okay?”
“I don’t know! I was in the bath just you know, enjoying myself and then my body was tingling—” “Are you calling me about a...sexual awakening?” “WHAT? No! Why would you—” “You told me you were enjoying yourself and then there was tingling. I thought you were talking about touching yours—” “Oh my god, Steph.” “Okay, let’s just calm down. Tell me what happened. From the start.” Jesmintha’s stutters and abrupt inhales littered her explanation of the incident. She recounted picking up the bath bomb at Pleasures and Passion, the twitches, and the water turning to goo. “It must be the bath bomb. Your aunt mentioned an accident with chemicals, right? The bath bomb probably had like, traces of some chemical or something. Something that changed the water and reacted with your skin?” When Steph didn’t hear a response, she felt unease coil at her temples. When she didn’t even hear breathing, she whispered a plea. “Jes?” “...not the worst part.” “What?” “The goo and the twitching. It’s not the worst part.” Steph knew, somehow, that if she asked, there was no turning back. They could stop here, and all Steph would remember of this incident would be a bathtub of goo. A weird story to tell at parties. An occurrence with no lasting effects. “What do you mean?” “I slipped and my head went under. When I came back up, ten minutes had passed but I couldn’t recall what
dropping her phone. Her brother greeted her with a grin. “Did you hear about what’s happening in the city?” Steph, still reeling from the phone call, couldn’t even utter the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ that would’ve sufficed. “Galaxy-Man! He’s fighting some goo thing in the city! Right now! It’s on the news. I’m gonna put the TV on!” All at once, the string holding her muscles tense snapped. In its wake, dread ran the circuit of her body.
Steph stumbled to the living room, meeting the rest of her awakened family. Her brother sat cross-legged on the floor, his grin a ghostly white in the light of the TV. And there, on the screen, was a figure of green goo stumbling around an intersection, flinching away from the crowd forming around them. They were wailing, throwing globs of goo at any who dared to get closer. Steph’s parents gasped as they watched the goo corrode cement footpaths, light poles, anything it touched. People were running from the goo figure now. “Look, look! There’s Galaxy-Man!” There he was. The city’s beloved superhero shooting lasers around the wailing figure, trying to contain it and keep its attention away from civilians. “Yeah! Go Galaxy-Man!” Steph couldn’t echo her brother’s enthusiasm. She could only stare, face contorted, brittle, frozen in horror as the camera zoomed in on the green figure. On the latest threat to the city. On the newest addition to Galaxy-Man’s gallery of superpowered foes. A hysterical laugh punched its way up Steph’s throat. Jes had always wanted to be on TV.
happened in that time. I thought that was it, until I was getting ready for bed and saw something in the mirror. Figured it was a stain at first but it was me. I was green.” “Green? I don’t get it.” “My skin, Steph. It’s green now. And the texture! I don’t—I—it’s like goo. My body’s turning into goo! I can’t—“ “Hey, it’s okay. We’ll, uh, we’ll figure something out, yeah?” “I couldn’t—I can’t do this. I can’t. Had to go.” “Wait, go? Steph, where are you?” “Can’t—don’t know what’s happening. Have to go.” “No, Steph! Don’t hang—” Call Ended Incoming Call: Steph Decline The door slammed open. Steph jumped in fright, 51
T
NOTICE TO READERS:
he promised story on the legal case surrounding the Golden Queen (famous for turning straw into silver and gold) has been suppressed by the courts. We are currently fighting the decision and are hoping to cover it in our next edition.
ADVERTISEMENT:
T
reasure hunters are being called on to search for the famed magic lamp. The winner will receive his weight in gold and years of prestige. Lamp must be returned and don’t bother asking for three wishes as you can’t. It is just a normal lamp with sentimental value but if you are found to have attempted to extract the wishes which don’t exist, you will be slaughtered on sight... Rewards await you.
BREAKING! GANGLAND PORK AND TURF
P
olice have confirmed that there has been a murder in the Wilds which is believed to be linked to a land dispute between a wolf and a few nomadic pigs. The wolf living there at the time claimed to have the right to remove the temporary dwellings built by the Pig Brother Triplets. The two have long opposed each other and have gained support in both factions, and this has caused chaos in the region. Neither faction has accepted responsibility.
CLOAKED GRAN-NAPPING
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missing person report has been issued for the grandmother of the Riding-Hood family, prompting calls for protective measures for the elderly in the village. The granddaughter raised the alarm this morning after the grandmother didn’t return home last night. She was last seen wandering around town in the twilight carrying a lamp and told her granddaughter she would walk home on her own. “She had just gifted me with her old tatty red cape that she always wears and just left.” the granddaughter said, “Usually it is easy to spot her in a crowd because of the cape but she gave it to me instead. I shouldn’t have left her alone.” A search and rescue team has been dispatched with locals calling for tighter measures to restrain the elderly from moving independently for fear of a similar case occurring to another family. It is suspected by authorities that the grandmother has been the victim of abduction. “Wolf howls have become more common in the 52
/ ART AND LAYOUT BY TIFFANY WIDJAJA
region.” The granddaughter said,” Poor granny always wandered off and was oblivious to the danger. She always insisted that she was sane. ‘No dear,’ she would say before waffling on about some nonsense about the forest being interesting. All I wanted was a granny who would be normal and give me stuff any girl would want, certainly not an old cape.” Some locals are suspicious of the family’s role in the grandmother’s disappearance. “It’s a common practice of the superstitious to leave the elderly alone to fend for themselves in the woods,” One sceptic said, “one less mouth to feed and it’s easy to blame the things in the forest.” One grandfather who does not wish The Fairytale Gazette to name him, for fear of being abandoned, claimed that they were viewed as too old to contribute to society or to add their names to the exciting legends that would elevate their village. “We’re too old to be of use to the village,” He said, “and nobody is willing to give us old timers a chance and many would rather we all die off, so resources can be distributed to the youngsters. They’d never admit that to the newspapers. Why do you think all the witches and wizards in stories are old people?” When asked about his own family situation, the grandfather remained tight-lipped. This account has yet to be verified but many locals have denied the allegations. In fact, the granddaughter told The Fairytale Gazette she was “very insulted” by the rumours of her involvement. “Who do you think ran around to look for Gran and make sure that her basket is always full of bread? Who carries supplies to Granny when she has her escapades in the woods and who risks their life each time on that dark path to follow that head full of folly?” The granddaughter argues, “We might be frustrated with our grandparents but that doesn’t mean we will give up on them...yet.” The Grandmother’s description has been provided by the Riding-Hood family to help in her recovery: • Old • Wrinkled • Dazed • Cape-less • Witchy but not witchy If anyone comes across this trouble-causing woman, please notify the relevant authorities of the case and the worried family.
CREATIVE
HISTORY BY NICOLE MORE is the truant in my sheets / barely sixteen / I am / telling fibs to stay home with my thoughts / with my feet tucked in the pockets of sleep / head stuffed with cotton wool / call the man with loose teeth to come chew on something soft / hit snooze / dream of pink tongues with yellow stains / wake to clumps of dandelion fluff drowned in the open tabernacle of my mouth / it is rude for a guest to leave without annihilating the leftovers / alpha / omega / stab the swollen balloon of my hunger with a fork / wrap its hot breath in foil / when you are poor you know to use everything / strip cartilage into keys / unearth the hatchet caked in bone / if you empty the mess of history from my cells / there is enough to wind twice around the solar system / enough to make a dog collar / enough to walk away and have it follow/ always/ trailing from the neck
ART BY ALEXANDRA BURNS /
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CREATIVE
MASTERS HOLD A MEETING OVER WINE BY MONTE CAIRNS
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n the hot time before sunset, two figures met in the square by Mill’s Bedding. One was about fifty years old, wore a good shirt and nice brown shoes, was short and plump but not balding, and held a nice little pointed cap in his hand. His ruddy face was adorned with a goatee of surprisingly tiny stature. The other was a tall and broad-shouldered young woman with short clipped hair, perhaps balding, wearing a cap pushed back on her head, checked trousers down her legs and a coat that I personally would have described as two seasons past. The first, as you may have guessed, was Michael Oost, publisher of the journal Logistics of the Downturned Many (that we may call Logothdoma for short). His companion was the young philosopher Arutha Marshall, who writes under the pseudonym ‘Rebuffed’. Once under the shade afforded by the linen shop the literary types collected one another and moved towards a bench. Note ought to be made that much was afoot in other parts, it is presumed, because there was nobody about at such an hour. The shade afforded by Mill’s was not enough to draw the others from this great undertaking. “Do you have wine?” Rebuffed inquired in a raspy voice. “No,” replied Oost. “Why? Should I?” Rebuffed inclined her head. “I just assumed.” Oost was silent for a time, perplexed. Rebuffed filled the space: “You know. Since we’re here.” “What? Here?” Oost cast his head about. “Here by Mill’s? Why?” Rebuffed: “Why…?” “Why! What about Mill’s Bedding and the little square makes you assume that I’d bring wine?!” Oost was in a huff. “Look, forget it.” Rebuffed sulked. “So why?” Oost, stunned, appalled: “Why what?!” “Why here?”
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Oost, red and regretting the choices that had led him here: “Well, well, why anywhere? It’s as good as another, and cooler, so perhaps better.” “Why anywhere, blother?” “Blother?” Harumphing, dismayed, nice pointed little cap crumpled in a sweaty hand, Oost regained composure. “Logothdoma, remember? Your article?” “Mm. Logothdoma. I ask: what do I know about logistics?” An oddity occurred, then. Rebuffed felt a chill in her coat that might have been good. A momentary feeling of confusion gave way to a glow of satisfaction—the coat was good. At the same moment Oost felt a little spike go hammering into his chest and he became terribly afraid. “My heart,” he thought. He wondered if he’d worked himself to death. But the spike removed itself thereafter and he felt entirely better, if a little out of breath. And he wondered again when he’d work himself to death. As he wondered he saw a momentary shimmer above the hot paving stones, lead his eyes from the linen shop to the square. A figure emerged. It was long and bending and appeared be-suited, a hint of briefcase on an ephemeral arm. For a moment Oost thought of the ephemeral documents therein. Then. “But this can’t be!” he thought. “An apparition! A worker sprung from sun and stone.” But, no. There was nothing. A little shimmering piece of pavement. Rebuffed, smiling to herself, was interrupted by Oost. “I tell you I just almost had heatstroke. How horrid!” Rebuffed looked at him a little funnily and insisted, “You ought to have brought wine.”
Content Warning: blood, death, grief, gore, kink
CREATIVE
THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A WOMAN EATING HER HUSBAND’S LIVER. BY MORGAN-LEE SNELL This is a story about a woman eating her husband’s liver. What I want to say here is: she ate the liver that was meant for her husband, then she went and found the woman next door, cut out her liver and fed it to him. He said “oh yum its the best liver I’ve ever eaten,” and then they went to bed and the ghost said “where is my liver?” The woman looked down and saw the gash in her belly, she had cut her Own liver out, ohfuck! She was bleeding in the bed while her husband slept on in the dark-wet-warm. What I want to say here is that: there is no straight line to healing there is no quick fix. I want to say: sex is intrinsically linked to our emotions and so much of our lives. I want to say: I’m sorry for claiming more sadness than I feel like I deserved, I must not hurt as much as his motherbrotherfatherlover, I want to say: I hurt all the same. I’m trying to say: it felt like this for me, did it feel like this for you? did-you-lose Someone too? did you go crazy too? Because if you did I’m here, if you did I understand. I want to say that death is just a wound things grow around and that I Miss the way the world tasted back then, before life touched me like that, Cold Finger pressed to my Tongue; hurts like freezer-burn, tastes like freezer-burn, I want to say that I dealt with death through kink and addiction and recklessness and that there is No Shame in escapism, I want to say that When someone dies young, you realise there is nothing you can do to ward off death, When you are young and someone near you dies young THE WISHFUL PROPS OF OUR FUTURE SELVES DIE TOO. The forgotten comfort of imagining our lives sprawling out ahead of us. What I want to say here is: if you ever eat your husband’s liver, just go out and buy a new one.
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Content Warning: mention of drowning
BEES
BY JENNIFER CHANCE
F
irst they asked me about the pigeons. They were always running away, and we were always chasing them. Why do we always chase them? Why do the trees stoop down in cold weather, then stand up straight again? Why is night dark, and morning bright? I told them, I don’t know. I don’t know. What am I, a scientist? I found a boy sitting on my verandah one day. He was different from the others because he was calm. Crimson scars climbed his skin. A sort of hum escaped his lips, a bit of rumbling and a bit of whistling. Melissa was also humming, although a different song. A sadder song, something like ‘Lover By The Sea’, her body swaying gently. She was small, and the pot she cradled came up to her neck so it looked like her head was bobbing inside, resurfacing and drowning again. “Soup? It’s good for the soul, you know,” she said, still swaying, still carrying. The contents careened dangerously to one side, then the other. I was tempted to shout at her, Jesus, woman, put that down, but I didn’t. “I don’t like soup. The children used to smell it on me and joke that a witch is softening me up for dinner.” I sighed, raising a cup to my lips. The girl named Sarah was the worst of them all. Upon first sight, she was the typical angelic child with curly pigtails and big, blue eyes. Her parents were kind and warm, telling me I seemed like the perfect teacher, ‘so young and talented!’ On the first day, however, she came over and smiled at me before vomiting on my pants. There was a book called Aesthetic Nudism that I kept in my bag, and she stole it and began ‘reading’ with much vigour, and when I confiscated it,
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she seemed to decide I was her mortal foe. She called me Mister Dragon and explained to the others in a loud, honeyed voice, that dragons always die in the happy endings. She told them this with her palms clasped, like a mother passing on some solemn news. I was tempted to smack her across the head, but of course I couldn’t. Someone would have arrested me. My life would have crumbled. Still, I was almost convinced that something evil lived inside her—like a leech sucking out a poor child’s thoughts and replacing them with corrupted ones. Maybe it was her smile, the way it stretched a little too wide—or maybe it was the darkening of her eyes while she watched me, something flickering in their midst. Halfway through the year, one of them stopped coming to school. There was an unattended stove. We went to his house once to pay our respects and everything was black, as if a hole had opened up and swallowed all the colour. I quite liked him, although I couldn’t now recall his name. Sarah took over his seat— which, she claimed, was the best in the whole class—and the boy’s best friend burst into tears. “Mister, why aren’t you doing anything?” she cried to me. “Look at her, look at her!” And I did look, and Sarah looked back, and she giggled. I left the next day. “Oh, honey.” Melissa pouted her lips, giving me the same sympathetic look she always did when I talked about the school. At the same time, her eyes were laughing. It was a little unsettling, and I edged away from her.
“They need an art instructor at the campus, I’ve heard. What do you think? It might be good for you to get out of the house again.” But I was shaking my head before she finished her sentence. “Too many things, Melly. They’re waiting for me, all of them. I told you this before.” “Oh, honey, facing fears is a part of life. Why don’t you try walking out? To our front porch? Just a few steps out and then you can come back in again. Please. Do it for me.” I felt it at night, her silent fuming, the anger rippling off her skin like smoke—her husband, a coward, a man who could do nothing, somebody for her friends to laugh at. If only I could have died at sea! The brave, noble warrior contending those tempestuous waves, writing letters filled with poetry to my lover, being conquered by a force of nature and mouldering on the ocean floor tangled in kelp. I looked at the verandah and he was still there, half staring at me and half not, his lips puckered in a silent hum. There was no mockery in his gaze. Just waiting. On a whim, I walked toward him, searching those eyes which were never a particular colour. They were dark under the shade. Golden when the sun hit. But sometimes also grey, and when they were grey I had a feeling he was turning to ash and everything was fading. The glass door slid open and I stood beside him. There was a rustiness to the fresh air that struck at my nose, an icy dagger digging deeper. “What song is that you’re humming?” I asked, and he
stopped, then started again. It was like bees but also a machine rumbling. A roaring something. “You’re not supposed to be here. You’re all just taking turns to terrorise me, I know. But I won’t take it anymore. I won’t!” I took a step back, almost gasping. My chest throbbed. “You’re dead goddamnit and you’re not supposed to be here...” He giggled. “But I am here, aren’t I?” “Leave!” “Did you wish for her to die?” he asked, his voice singsongy but also deep. I was still thinking of Sarah so her image floated into mind. How long had it been? There was a newspaper article, just a small section about the drowning accident. I never left the house. How long had it been? “Why would I wish that? Jesus.” But he smiled, humming again that weird sound. A bursting something. A fire crackling. Why do we chase birds so much? We like to watch them run. Watch the fear reach them and consume their shivering wings. They can escape at any time. They can escape. Why do the trees stoop down in cold weather, then stand up straight again? It’s a secret but the trees bend down to sleep. They are too tired. Why is night dark, and morning bright? Sometimes the being above closes his eyes to stop seeing.
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COLUMN
A THING WITH FEATHERS
BY JOCELYN DEANE So. Emily Dickinson, Andi, Kazimir and Drimlock are in the Faewild, where everyone is genderqueer. The fae we meet are drawn from the people we as players know, Celtic mythology, and are presided over by Titania from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Boundaries are fluid, ambiguous. We’re on leave from Sigil. I’m having problems with Emily Dickinson. Oh? The DM is driving me back to the sublet. I slouch in after midnight to avoid talking with my housemates. Occasionally a black cat—Jaguar—mews and paws at my dress, asking to be let in. Yeah. I feel I don’t have the energy to do her justice. In the previous sessions, we discovered the source of a rabies-esque infection filling the wild animals and gutter urchins of The Hive with thrashing tentacles. Imagine the ancient parasites from Resident Evil 4 and the rage virus from 28 Days Later. We lope into the Slags, where Emily Dickinson supposedly materialised. We are still unclear what ‘materialising’ entails, and what Emily Dickinson did here. We are led to a gang of lost boys—the vampire and Peter Pan kind—who are led by a Fagin-esque ringleader and who have been infected. We barely escape, fleeing across the moors of trash. Remember when we workshopped Emily Dickinson? A red light down Bell Street. Yeah, they reply. You said they were free in a unique way. I mean, you would be, right? A real person in a dream world? It’d be like going back in time and making bank on the Great Depression. They Hmmm as the light goes green. 58
/ ART BY VAN ANH CHU
Emily Dickinson is absent when we return to slaughter the lost boys, unwillingly. In her reality, she is tricked by a demon—called Six-of-Nine—in the form of a publisher, interested in her literally magical poems. They also reveal that the mild-mannered missionary Terse, whom we’ve adopted like a sad puppy, is one of this demon’s forms. The DM tells the other players to vacate, revealing this information to Emily Dickinson alone. In our reality I am going overseas for Christmas, and missing a few sessions. They ask if my relatives know my pronouns, or care. In actuality—I learn—during my absence several players’ illnesses reared up and the DM postponed two get-togethers in a row. I miss the slaughter by one week. After we finally reconvene, we decide we need holiday time. It’s essentially meta-gaming, the DM offers. We pass a 7/11 and empty appliance stores, the display lights still on. They’re focusing on the road. Emily Dickinson’s character knows she’s a fantasy character, but she’s still her. Real and not. Schrodinger’s character. It’s not like fucking Deadpool; of course you’d be tired, constantly identifying narrative threads for a real person, however long we play. The holiday starts when we follow a white cat named Jennifer into the Faewild. In the backstory, Andi has been trying to catch her; she’s been cohabiting with Emily Dickinson in secret. We don’t remember the mechanics of entering the Faewild. It’s verdant and as bright as a Lisa Frank drawing. Drimlock and Kazimir are astounded at real grass and smogless air. Kazimir stretches his wings joyfully, saying nothing. Emily Dickinson cartwheels and
rolls down a hill, laughing hysterically. In the course of the next few weeks, we: • meet Jennifer’s caretaker, who—beside themselves upon seeing Jennifer’s shorn fur— sends us to find a replacement cat from the court of Starlight. Otherwise, for such besmirchment of beauty, the whole castle’s working staff will be killed by their employer: the Baroness Arwen. • wander into a grove that materialises our hearts’ desires. Emily Dickinson pictures the oak tree outside her family house in Amherst, which appears, blossoming like summer. She imagines a door back to Massachusetts, which doesn’t. • meet a human named Sally, hunting her daughter, self-named The Enchantress. We visit a BabaYaga-style hag, Auntie Agatha, and learn Sally used to be the paramour of Baroness Arwen, who abandoned her once the season/taste shifted. Auntie Agatha’s house is burrow-like and askew; nothing about it is beautiful or curated. The Enchantress means to humiliate the Baroness, ruining the ceremonial moonlight ball, to demonstrate the capriciousness and violence of a culture devoted to the aesthetic. Emily Dickinson decides that the possible consequences are too grave. I can’t speak, Em. The DM has dropped me in Preston, listening behind the wheel. It feels like I shrink into myself, and the scope of Emily Dickinson narrows. I feel I need to do something drastic. I was so sure. Yeah, says the DM. That’s why it didn’t work.
Things happen. The Enchantress is actually a changeling; The Baroness’s court would consider it obscene to admit her. The party decides to let her go along with her plan. Emily Dickinson can’t do this, at least without offering some kind of counter narrative. To give the onlookers—and Titania, who is attending—a chance to spin the story away from themselves, and therefore their underclasses. We attend the ball, secretly. At the peak of the ball, when The Enchantress dances with Baroness Arwen, revealing herself to the shocked court, Emily Dickinson turns invisible. I’ve been planning this for weeks now. We missed a couple of sessions due to illness and uni. She speaks to Titania telepathically. Protect me, don’t let her use her magic on me, and I’ll be able to redirect the story. No one needs to be punished. Titania responds. If you think you can give her a better ending than the one she intends. The DM and I are talking in private. I can try. It’s my job after all, says Emily Dickinson. Truth is beauty, beauty truth. Titania is expressionless. There is a justice to the beautiful, remember that, she says. Emily Dickinson takes on the form of Auntie Agatha. It was me, all me, she says in this form. I’m hamming it up at the table. Only by my potent art did she have any agency. Direct your malice at me. It’s then that the disguise-self spell fails, or Titania counter-spells it. Emily Dickinson appears in human form, before a court of fae, in her underwear. Oh, she says, and disappears.
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CREATIVE
1990’s SUBCONSCIOUS BY TIIA KELLY I spend my formative years so engrossed in Friends that the show becomes a period piece about me on a couch— a plaid period piece, where I learn what an orgasm is and the lyrics to ‘Baby Got Back’ I spend them loaded up on bad haircuts and neat platonic sentiment till one day, six white heads in a fountain overlay you serving me food on a cushion I don’t know yet that old things get better in the time you spend considering them, just that there’s a theme song to the tune of us domestically expanding. I wonder lately if you cyberstalk me sometimes in an ode to our hormones— some clashing and un-clashing of chemical remembrance— because to me, you’re a warm gas-ball of familiarity: a heat I can stand in but with midday, burn-your-eyes sunlight. I’m planning a powerplay on the level of a live TV strip tease like Drew Barrymore getting down on David Letterman’s desk. A picture on the web to say
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I am this now— thighs out for the void and hoping that you’re in it Because I know old things get better in the time you spend considering them, and that I should harden, and I will— on David Letterman’s desk So I compartmentalise you into a corner, next to denim feel and coffee shops I compartmentalise you into my ignorance of correct cognitive functioning, like a sock I fold into another sock then leave in a drawer. I ask big questions like: If I trip on the sidewalk and no one’s there to see it does God insert a laugh track? If I meet you in a doorframe does my musical heartburn swell? When you next see me, I will be Drew Barrymore showing her tits to David Letterman on Late Night TV—that is, using a very public medium to remind you I have tits
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CREATIVE
COMPLEMENTARY COLOURS BY EVELYN RANOGAJEC
T
he bedroom walls are bright orange until they merge into a sea blue in sporadic places, creating variations of ugly warm and cool browns where the colours meet. “Do you like it?” Jules asks, fiddling with the paintbrush in her hand. “I ran out of paint, so I just thought—well, it makes it interesting!” Mary stands outside the bedroom and says nothing. The colours blur together in her peripheral vision, giving her a headache. Before she left for work, the walls had been a pleasant cream colour. “The smell will fade!” Jules babbles. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t stand the cream colour. Only boring married couples have them!” “And what type of couples have walls that look like a tie-dyed shirt?” Mary asks, pinching her nose. “Maybe we can go back and get the blue colour and repaint the whole room.” Jules pouts exaggeratedly before attempting to clean up, using a sheet to wipe at her hands. She looks like she just came home from kindergarten, wearing oversized clothes with splotches of paint all over them that are too big for her small frame. Her thick brown hair is in its usual long plaits, the sticky strands of hair making Mary shudder. Jules steps out of the mess of sheets and paint rollers and wraps an arm around Mary’s shoulder, reaching a hand up to pull out her neat bun. “We’ll fix it,” she says, poking Mary’s cheek with a 62
/ ART BY MONIQUE O’RAFFERTY
finger drenched in paint. Mary’s headache intensifies. Jules’ scent is an odd combination of Sharpie, dried sweat and cheap perfume. She leans into her, closing her eyes to block out the kaleidoscope of colour and paint fumes, focusing on the cheap floral high and low notes of the perfume as she breathes in. They move the mattress into the living room to escape the rancid paint smell. Everything’s still in neatly labelled boxes. Jules has pulled most of her stuff out, hazardously laying it around the house in positions that change daily. There are towers of books in the living room and kitchen, and knick-knacks on the veranda and in the bathroom. Jules’ hands rake through Mary’s hair, pulling apart wet strands as they lie squished together in the middle of their sunken mattress. “Your roots are showing. You shouldn’t have let me ruin your beautiful hair,” Jules murmurs. Mary pulls Jules’ hand away from her hair and places it back at her hip, too tired to reply. Jules had been delighted at slathering Mary’s hair with bleach, and then even more delighted when half of it had been ruined from the chemicals and she got to give Mary an impromptu haircut. There’s a silly photo of them with her destroyed hair and Jules making a peace sign that’s the background on Mary’s phone. “I was thinking we could paint the bathroom black,” Jules continues. “It could be interesting.”
Mary can’t help but snort into her pillow. Jules joins in, but Mary knows she’s serious. The bathroom will be black within a week. Then the kitchen will be a fluorescent green until there’s no space that remains a warm pleasant cream. The living room is still a beautiful neutral colour. Mary picked a couch out to match it that still hasn’t been delivered. She may as well cancel the order. She rolls off the mattress, shaking off Jules’ grabbing hands to get her phone from where it sits on the ground. “What are you doing?” Jules hisses into the dark. The time reads one. Mary opens up her order receipt. “Cancelling the order for the couch.” Jules shifts, sitting upwards and leaning against the wall, her curly bed hair splayed everywhere. Mary looks over at her, suppresses a grin, and cancels the order. “But it was so comfortable! It had the bounciest cushions. I think the sales guy got annoyed at me for jumping on all of them, but you handled him like a pro.” Mary sees Jules sit up in the dark, putting her hands on her hips and furrowing her brows. “Is that the best price you can do?” she mimics in Mary’s flat and authoritative tone. “We saved one fifty.” “I know! That’s why I love you. Why are you cancelling the order, though?” Mary puts her phone away after making sure the alarm is set for seven. “You’re probably going to paint this
room a fluorescent green. Then the couch won’t match. It’ll look odd.” Jules groans. “Who cares? It doesn’t have to match! Some things just don’t match!” Like us, Mary wants to say, but she doesn’t. She knows the rest of the week will be stilted as Jules tries to act “normal”. She knows there’ll be no spontaneous paint sessions or ridiculous pillow fights or tomato sauce shaped into a smiley face when they eat dinner. It won’t end until Mary starts buying paint and brushes and leaving them around the house and drenching the vegetables in thick tomato sauce smiles. “About the bedroom,” Mary says, crawling back on the mattress to face Jules. “I was thinking maybe we could turn the blur into a stripe. Have a stripe of blue near the ceiling. It could look nice.” Jules hums in thought. “You don’t like my blending? Orange and blue make brown. You love browns!” “It gives me a fucking headache.” Jules laughs. “Okay, then. A blue stripe. That could work.” Mary smiles, satisfied, and turns around until they’re back in their original position. “But I’m still painting the bathroom black,” Jules whispers, kissing her shoulder.
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COLUMN
THE CREATIVE LITERATURE AND WRITING SOCIETY PRESENTS: THE REMARKABLE QUESTS OF RADDISH AND QUILL
THE SPONTANEOUS FLIGHT TO ICELAND BY SHAIRA AFRIDA OYSHEE
Q
uill was sitting legs crossed on the carpet, ready for their afternoon yoga. The sound of Raddish typing aggressively on their new mint-green typewriter flooded the tree house. Raddish had taken up writing a month ago—following the inter-dimensional evening they’d spent reading Edgar’s poems and eating his cat-friendly garlic bread. Quill closed their eyes, breathing in the air of the Butter Town afternoon—a lazy afternoon without a planned schedule. A long, loud sigh came from Raddish’s room...and then another...and then an even longer one, until finally Quill got up and flew to Raddish’s room to see what was causing their dear friend such frustration.
Raddish’s head sank into the typewriter keys, but before they could let out another sigh, Quill appeared in front of them. “Do you truly believe?” “Believe what?” Quill asked. “Believe that I can ever write like Edgar?” Quill took a moment, looking at their friend who they believed in completely. “You would write like Raddish, not Edgar.” Before Raddish could ask, or Quill could explain further, Quill’s eyes followed the golden sunlight that flowed through the window and melted at their feet. “Let’s go outside Raddish! It’s a beautiful afternoon, one that we will yearn for when winter falls.” Of course! Why didn’t Raddish think of that before! A stroll around the friendly faces of Butter Town would always make them happier. Raddish could always count on Quill; they were one of the most sincere beings and knew every remedy to all Raddish’s muddles. At times Raddish would look into Quill’s eyes and pray that they remained the happiest they could be.
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/ ART BY STEPHANIE NESTOR
As they walked outside, Raddish felt the warm breeze greet them. They felt an unexplained rush of joy that convinced them to jump up and down and run and move! The trees shed their small yellow leaves, making it all seem too magical. The wind carried muffled sounds of ‘Abracadabra,’ followed by cheers and laughter. Intrigued, Raddish and Quill followed the sound to the Buttercream Cafe. It was Old Mr Jack Lee’s magic night! Old Mr Jack Lee fascinated Raddish. He had a thin, white, fairy floss beard, and kept it tied up with a red ribbon. He claimed this was where he kept his magic—all tied up in one place. Raddish could not hold back their excitement and clapped their little paws. Quill watched their friend’s excitement over the little things with a sense of mellow amusement.
“AAAAAABRA KA DAABRA!” Old Mr Jack Lee bellowed from behind his white beard. “Has everyone got their ears and nose today? The eyes would be with me!” Old Mr Lee could make a rabbit vanish, reappear, and then turn into a dove! Raddish believed there was nothing Old Mr Lee could not do! As soon as the show was over, Raddish wanted to introduce Quill to the magnificent person that was Old Mr Jack Lee. “Old Mr Lee! This is my best friend Quill!” “Hello Quill.” But Old Mr Lee was not as jolly as usual. In fact, Raddish thought there was a tinge of melancholy in his eyes. “How are you Old Mr Lee?” “I believe I am fine Raddish, just fine” “Fine?! You’re fantastic Old Mr Jack Lee!” exclaimed Raddish. Old Mr Lee paused packing up his props, sat down and dropped his gaze to the adventurers’ tiny feet. He
shook his head slowly. “I have been doing magic in four cornered rooms for the last forty years, and I have never witnessed real magic.” Raddish felt their heart sink. What could he even mean?! He was the jolliest person in the whole of Butter Town! Never seen magic? Magic was tied up in his beard! “What do you mean, Old Mr Lee?” Quill asked. Old Mr Lee hesitated but Raddish and Quill’s genuine eyes encouraged him to open up. He pulled out a faded picture of a landscape. Its sky was filled with strokes of bright green and purple rays. The land below it was covered in crystal white snow. It seemed like a picture from another planet. “Is this even real Mr Lee!?” Raddish cried. “It is as real as the earth and all its magic.” Old Mr Lee paused, sighed and continued, “Magic that lets out all its secrets, but is magic nonetheless.” He held the photograph to his heart. “We call them miracles.” Old Mr Jack Lee had dreamt of seeing those
mysterious lights ever since he’d first learnt about them in Uncle Tan Lee’s library. Uncle Tan Lee had framed pictures of his trip all over the walls: bright green lights appearing across the dark blue sky with no explanation whatsoever. Uncle Tan had mentioned the name of the magical place, but Old Mr Lee had been only ten years of age at the time and had forgotten. Uncle Tan passed away soon after that visit. Old Mr Lee had asked everyone he could if they’d ever seen those lights. But no one in small Butter Town believed they could be real. “Wait!” Quill interrupted Old Mr Jack Lee’s reverie. “Just wait, Mr Lee! I know this place!” Quill exclaimed, flapping their wings with excitement. They closed their eyes as if to remember something, their eyelids wrinkling with concentration. “I KNOW! It’s the Northern Lights! It’s Iceland!”
“ICELAND!?” Old Mr Jack Lee’s eyes lit up and he danced and cried in excitement. But then he stopped, heart sinking with realisation. “But how do we get there?” he asked softly. Quill thought for a while. “I know a friend who knows a friend, who knows a friend! Quaaaaaaaa Quaaa!” Nothing happened. Quill cleared their throat and began again: “QUAAAAA QUAAAA!” Suddenly, two majestic albatross appeared at the cafe door. Quill held the faded picture of the northern lights up to the big birds. “Say, Aidan and Amy, would you like to go to the Northern Lights with us?” Aidan and Amy looked at each other and nodded excitedly with a big, “Yes!” “One of you would have to carry Old Mr Lee and the other, Raddish.” Aidan and Amy did not mind; they loved carrying flightless beings. Hearing their excitement made the albatross’ day.
“But it will be cold there!” Amy warned. “That’s alright! I’ve been knitting all year!” Quill exclaimed. “There is certainly enough fuzzy warm sweaters for all of us!” Raddish felt an adventure unfolding and thanked whatever it was that governed them—if indeed anything did—for willing them to step out of the house that day.
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FOR AND AGAINST: THE INTERNET FOR BY KATE KING-SMITH
AGAINST BY STEPHANIE KEE
T
A
hough the modern internet is commonly seen as a festering mole of antagonistic shit-posting, painfully entitled “influencers”/“creators” and political warfare, my poor optimistic soul still has hope for it. So much of internet culture—memes, social activism, fandoms and the like—has been sadly overlooked in favour of trashing the less desirable aspects of this gigantic technological entity. I’m a pretty regular internet user and though I have little knowledge of its psychological effects, I have my own personal experiences. Both good and bad, both alienating and inclusive, both fun and boring. Not everyone you meet on the internet is inherently creepy. More often than not, these are just genuine people, seeking connection and entertainment just like you. I met both my boyfriend and my best friend in an Overwatch competitive match, the pair of them taking pity on how very terrible I was at the game. I share Facebook memes with my old Japanese host sister and I dare not think of how I’d keep up with my gaming friends without our Messenger groups. I’ve gotten to know these people, really know them, purely because all we have to offer each other are words. With little more to talk about than what’s on your mind, conversations across the internet often have so much more substance than those in everyday life. Among the silly debates about whether stereotypes are inherently ‘evil’ and whether pineapple truly belongs on pizza, there are teary-eyed calls confessing mental health struggles. Just like in real-life friendships, we answer these calls for help with compassion and reassurance. In a world where support is hard to come by, this can mean the world to those in need of a little help. Call me lucky, but the friends I’ve made online and, hell, even people I’ve merely met in passing have been the most open and genuine people I’ve ever experienced. Without the internet, I don’t know who I’d be today or if I’d even be here at all. The internet can be an awfully terrifying place, but if you tear yourself away from the nightmare we’re taught it is, you’ll find the reality far less grim. In fact, I think you might find people just like you.
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llow me to resurface some memories you’ve probably repressed: Lemonparty. Meatspin. Goatse. cx. Ah, what an introduction to the Internet. My friends and I were barely teens when we were confronted with these violently graphic images, and to say it was traumatising would be an understatement. Today, a decade on, the trauma has only taken different forms. Enter the Elsagate videos – videos on YouTube and YouTube Kids that appear child-friendly, but are designed to present disturbing and inappropriate content. These videos were intentionally designed to bypass YouTube’s child-safety algorithms, and despite hundreds of thousands of them having been removed in recent years, there are still Tinkerbells having their limbs broken to cutesy singalong soundtracks, waiting to be stumbled upon by unsuspecting tots. This is symptomatic of one of the worst problems with the Internet – its incredible scale and ease of access makes online goings-on incredibly difficult to moderate. As a result, harm is being perpetuated at an unprecedented rate. Thirteen-year-olds are sexually harassed by adults who live two continents away. Dangerous misinformation about vaccines is spreading like a (previously-eliminated) virus. Hate groups are able to proliferate and radicalise people from all over the world, resulting in cesspits like the subreddits r/ fatpeoplehate and r/incels, as well as 8chan, the imageboard that incubated the vile beliefs of the Christchurch shooter. Then there are the privacy risks. If you’ve ever had a Facebook, Instagram or WhatsApp account, Facebook’s been handing out your data to other corporations for a pretty penny. Got a Google account with Location History turned on by default? Where you live, where you work, and how long you were stuck on the freeway last Thursday is all information that’s now out there. Forget conglomerates—you could be doxxed (that is, have your personal info circulated online), or even tracked down and hurt in real life, by the next malicious individual you upset. The Internet may have brought great benefits, like memes, but it also accentuates the fucked-up parts of humanity. And while memes are amazing, we can’t have one without the other, so to the whole thing I say: delet dis.
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