June 2013 by Feeling the Vibe Online Magazine

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Editors Letter

DIY

Life Style

Exstreme

Interesting Reading

Feature

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and solid companions throughout the aging process, but looking at it from the outside of a box, you will note, that friendship is not really built on the amount of knowledge you have on one another or the years you have spent together, its a sensational trust bond, that escapes the logic of each of the parties, which activates an essential security within the presence of each other.

We all have a set out friendship circle, and most of them are trustworthy but only in certain situations, which may differ from friend to friend, and therefore the human mind divides friends in automatic groups and sections of your logic part of the brain. This all said in fairness the reality of it all is , that your feelings and heart establishes a loyalty towards someone in the sense of a trust bond , whether its an unspoken bond or a well established agreement , it differs from person to person.

In our lifetime 60% of people we meet, are in actual fact only acquaintances and not really solid friends, event though we see most of our friends

Trust is defined in so many different ways, and each individual has a different on set on what makes them trust and what breaks that trust. Each person has his/her own boundaries, and when we find ourselves overstepping those boundaries outside of our own comfort zone , trust is established in us, it’s a natural process. Trust is not built within your own boundaries but outside of them, it’s the sole purpose of that fear driven feeling you thrive on while making a indecisive decision of crossing that thin line you have placed as a boundary, for someone whom you barely know, that’s the moment , you start to trust. Whether the word trust is used or just a simple stare into that person’s eyes shows you more of what you need to know.

it’s not the fact that you finish each other’s sentences or know what either one’s favourites are in life, it’s not the 21 questions or knowing each other’s reaction, those things are mere habits, it’s that mere feeling of comfort that gives

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us the instinct to trust what is not really said or seen. Most friendships sets out to be a solid friendship , but the feeling of intentional trust is something that you will never know you have until the going gets extremely tough and indigenous to be able to trust someone with your own well being, and noting who’s need will be placed first when the need really arises. It sometimes comes to a point where two friend’s build such a sustainable trust bond , that their friendship elapses into a full blown relationship, and out of experience I’ve seen how these individuals build on such a healthy and unbreakable relationship, that extracts the faults of each other out of every equation, due to mere understanding between both of them.

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The Unpredictable, Unorganised, Untrustworthy Boss. During my years in employment I have personally come across so many different people, and someone once used the quote, “ Different People, different Strokes” which actually sounds horrible, but in reality this is absolutely true. Being an HR manager or Psychologist should be one of the worst professions to attempt by anyone who has no people skills or has no ability to show some sort of empathy but rather selfishness or bad behaviour. We all work with our superior’s in mostly a respectful manner and would suggest that we receive the same treatment in return, although this is rarely the case, we someone hold on to the perfect excuse of “They are just stressed”, and they don’t really mean what they said, though I have to admit, even I have found myself in a situation where that excuses served its purpose in every way possible. Even if that excuse serves its purpose every time, does it really validate the treatment, answer, or reaction you get when you as an employee find’s yourself in a position in need of your leader or comfort zone at work. Recently I came across a few different types of managers, in a car dealership in Pretoria, in actual fact I was absolutely shocked on the difference in these men, all together. I was astounded at the

treatment most of the sales people in the dealership receive, due to rank, and no importance to them was an absolute shock. Initially I thought it game from up top, though my opinion drastically changed on the 23 rd of May 2013. I was so shocked at how I judged a book by its cover, which in actual fact I personally never do. I came in contact with a man of his word, not your typical MD or Director, but more of a light in the dark tunnel of running a business, working with staff, and growing the business itself. I saw how this individual handles situations in such a fair manner , that it actually left me in some sort of blaze , where I found myself sitting and staring at the blank page in front of me, knowing that I wanted to write about this, but I somehow didn’t know how to put this into words at all.

Firstly I would like to give you the perfect difference between the two managers. Both are in a superior position and handling them with care would initially be your reaction. You would get this intimidating manager who runs around most of the day, tries to socialise with you, and most of all has no capability or understanding of what his position actually entails, although this might be the situation , the rest of the management skills are there in some way. A subject to fairness and not getting personally involved with your co-workers is one of the most

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common mistakes management makes. It is important to always remember your work is your work, and you are playing a dangerous game when you get involved with co-workers after work , it does not only complicate things , but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s essentially a matter of boundaries being set in a mature working environment. I have found managers that support you , and look after you in all capacity possible , but would easily imprint the false assumption that they will always stand up for you, which in all honesty should never be trusted, as any if not all individuals will turn around at some point and protect themselves rather than you.

that you are able to see things through a different perception. It is astounding how some people would narrow their perception in life to what they need out of life in a business environment and not what the business is in dyer need of . I spoke to some professionals about the management stigma and what the exceptional managers mind and focus is . Most of these aspects I found in this individual in a matter of minutes, and until this day I am astounded at how this manager functions daily. Ideal management focus 1. People skills. 2. Fairness and Equality. 3. Business Growth. 4. Staff Wellbeing and Performance. Ideal Management mind set 1. Objectiveness. 2. Professionalism in the sense of subtracting own needs from equation. 3. Empathy â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the ability to see any a situation as a third party point of view.

Secondly you get the Manager whom full fillâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s his role in such a manner that by the book does not really apply at all, as their way of management is so unique that not even the books that we read can really entail how they handle not only themselves but each and every person around them. Do not get me wrong, they do make mistakes, we all do, and we are just human after all. But being able to see things from an objective point of view is one of the most difficult aspects of human behaviour, as we always choose sides, together and cover their own asses in every way possible. It actually scares me to see how naturally they back stab not only their own staff but their own superiors. How someone can know so little of what actually goes around in the company, frightens me a little, but being able to stand by not only your point, but the mere fact

These points are just a few that I got as essential , though the most important point shown to me, that no book can teach you , was the mere ability to see the business as a unit and manage such as a unit to achieve a focused goal through perfected channels of success. I was honoured to learn from this individual in a time span of only 2 hours.

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An undefined Love, are you really that sure? The average male and female perception about love differs by so much that trying to find answers in books and advice by experience is an infinite chase after an answer that you will never find. Defining it all comes to the mere reality of whether it’s good or bad. It’s always a possibility to look at what every, or most people experience, and how others handle themselves throughout their own relationships, and learning not only from their mistakes, but what they did right.

We are all individuals with our own needs and a chase after some dream, whether defined or not, we have a need to feel fulfilled with someone’s presence, laughter, or just a mere glare, but in some relationships you will find that your dreams and what you may be chasing can be changed by one decision from your other half, and all perspective change on what you wanted and needed in life, whether you are sure of what you want, and whether you see the invisible , from the outside other’s see what lies far beneath the surface. The average individual will think about the shallow things in a relationship where people on the outside will see what lies beneath a reaction towards something. I found myself in a situation , where friendship fell away and faded into complete hate and despise from both sides, because of a mere misunderstanding of needs and wants in a friendship . Though this is not what I want you to learn from, it’s how it got to this that had me in an absolute state of shock and opinion of my own. Most of us are at this age in a career where it is most essential to keep you job, not only for the income, but for mere survival, and you’d expect your other half to take the professionalism of your job into consideration no matter what the situation, as in the end you will be the one without an outcome or income, and not them.

I recently had the privilege to meet an individual whom I found very intriguing, not only in the way that they handle themselves but how has this mere relationship influenced everything about which he is. Sometimes a mere whisper in someone’s ear defines them, you can sit and think of all the things you should’ve said, but it never really comes to that point. From an objective point of view, I saw something that was very unhealthy, but yet very acceptable.

It’s a mere settlement of unselfishness, though I got so hurt in this situation, i was taught firsthand what selfish behaviour looks like, and today I thank myself each day, that I lack the skill of selfishness in all aspect of my life. This individual found himself in a situation where even finding comfort at home could be questioned, though

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he may not see this, in due time, life will show him. I find it hard to explain the situation, but I can say that this love between these two are undefined, if it is really love or just mere comfort and habit. I was taught that what happens at work stays at work when you leave there tonight, and that your personal life should never be part of your professional career, though in this situation I found that this was absolutely untrue in every way, either my perception was wrong or Life had to teach me something valuable. In the beginning i questioned my own perception, but later I found myself writing about this , and I came to realise how ethically wrong the situation actually was , whether the wrong was done unto me, or someone else, the capacity this individual will have to grow someday will always depend on the mere reaction or level of maturity of the other party in the relationship. It made me realise how lucky I am, because of my support system and ability to stand up for what is not ethically in my favour to grow not only in what I learn each day, but where i will find myself in a few years.

be what he has to settle for, as his own initiative or decisions will constantly be questioned or interrupted, if he is not cleanly humiliated and brought down, he will find himself without any support system other than the system that supports his other half’s dreams in life. Who’s life are you then building? it’s a vicious circle of manipulation and rejection, fear of what lies outside those boundaries, will keep him inside them. It will never be my place to say something, or intervene, all I do hope for is that he will realise his perception of love is undefined if its love at all.....

“It’s NEVER in Life, All about YOU”

My heart goes out to this individual as he will be mostly limited in life, what he has now will most likely

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Interesting Reading

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We go through life, enjoying almost all the little joys life has to offer, but have you ever sat yourself down to contemplate where most of these products you make use of on a daily basis come from? Well no need to anymore, we have done the research for you. Take into consideration what these inventors went through to give you the best of their inventions.

Birth of Coca Cola

Until 1905, the soft drink, marketed as a tonic, contained extracts of cocaine as well as the caffeinerich kola nut. On April 23, 1985, the trade secret "New Coke" formula was released. Today, products of the Coca Cola Company are consumed at the rate of more than one billion drinks per day.

Your Morning Cereal Will Keith Kellogg Will Keith Kellogg, founder of the W.K. Kellogg Foundation, may be best known as the cereal industry giant and inventor of corn flakes.

In May, 1886, Coca Cola was invented by Doctor John Pemberton a pharmacist from Atlanta, Georgia. John Pemberton concocted the Coca Cola formula in a three legged brass kettle in his backyard. The name was a suggestion given by John Pemberton's bookkeeper Frank Robinson. Being a bookkeeper, Frank Robinson also had excellent penmanship. It was he who first scripted "Coca Cola" into the flowing letters which has become the famous logo of today. The soft drink was first sold to the public at the soda fountain in Jacob's Pharmacy in Atlanta on May 8, 1886. About nine servings of the soft drink were sold each day. Sales for that first year added up to a total of about $50. The funny thing was that it cost John Pemberton over $70 in expanses, so the first year of sales were a loss.

Will Keith Kellogg was the founder of the W.K. Kellogg Foundation, founded in 1906. In 1894, Will Keith Kellogg's brother Doctor John Harvey Kellogg was trying to improve the diet of hospital patients. He was searching for a digestible bread substitute using the process of boiling wheat. Kellogg accidentally left a pot of boiled wheat to stand and the wheat became tempered (soften). When Kellogg rolled the tempered or softened wheat and let it dry, each grain of wheat emerged as a large thin flake. The flakes turned out to be a tasty cereal. Kellogg had invented corn flakes. On May 31, 1884, John Harvey Kellogg filed for patent for

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“flaked cereals and process of preparing same.” Patent #558,393 was issued on April 14, 1896.

human waste became a priority to lawmakers, medical experts, inventors, and the general public. 

In 1829, the Tremont Hotel of Boston became the first hotel to have indoor plumbing, and had eight water closets built by Isaiah Rogers. Until 1840, indoor plumbing could be found only in the homes of the rich and the better hotels.

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Beginning in 1910, toilet designs started changing away from the elevated water tank into the modern toilet with a close tank and bowl.

You’re Toilet

Toilet Paper Timeline of Toilets 

King Minos of Crete had the first flushing water closet recorded in history and that was over 2800 years ago.

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A toilet was discovered in the tomb of a Chinese king of the Western Han Dynasty that dates back to 206 BC to 24 AD.

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The ancient Romans had a system of sewers. They built simple outhouses or latrines directly over the running waters of the sewers that poured into the Tiber River

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Chamber pots were used during the middle ages. A chamber pot is a special metal or ceramic bowl that you used and then tossed the contents out (often out the window).

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In 1596, a flush toilet was invented and built for Queen Elizabeth I by her Godson, Sir John Harrington.

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The first patent for the flushing toilet was issued to Alexander Cummings in 1775.

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During the 1800s, people realized that poor sanitary conditions caused diseases. Having toilets and sewer systems that could control

The first packaged toilet paper was the 1857 invention of American, Joseph Gayetty and called Gayetty's Medicated Paper. In 1880, the British Perforated Paper Company created a paper product to be used for wiping after using the toilet that came in boxes of small pre-cut squares. In 1879, the Scott Paper Company began selling the first toilet paper on a roll, however, toilet paper in roll form did not become common until 1907. In 1942, St. Andrew's Paper Mill in Great Britain introduced the first two-ply toilet paper.

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Your Gum By the early 20th century, Americans could not get enough of the confection called chewing gum invented by Thomas Adams.

Timeline 

The ancient Greeks chewed mastiche - a chewing gum made from the resin of the mastic tree.

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The ancient Mayans chewed chicle which is the sap from the sapodilla tree.

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North American Indians chewed the sap from spruce trees and passed the habit along to the settlers.

In 1880, John Colgan invented a way to make chewing gum taste better for a longer period of time while being chewed.

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By 1888, an Adams' chewing gum called TuttiFrutti became the first chew to be sold in a vending machine. The machines were located in a New York City subway station.

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In 1899, Dentyne gum was created by New York druggist Franklin V. Canning.

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In 1906, Frank Fleer invented the first bubble gum called Blibber-Blubber gum. However, the bubble blowing chew was never sold.

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In 1914, Wrigley Doublemint brand was created. William Wrigley, Jr. and Henry Fleer were responsible for adding the popular mint and fruit extracts to a chicle chewing gum.

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In 1928, an employee of the Frank H. Fleer Company, Walter Diemer invented the successful pink colored Double Bubble, bubble gum. The very first bubble gum was invented by Frank Henry Fleer in 1906. He called it Blibber-Blubber. Fleer's recipe was later perfected by Walter Diemer, who called his product Double Bubble.

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Early American settlers made a chewing gum from spruce sap and beeswax.

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In 1848, John B. Curtis made and sold the first commercial chewing gum called the State of Maine Pure Spruce Gum.

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In 1850, Curtis started selling flavored paraffin gums becoming more popular than spruce gums.

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On December 28 1869, William Finley Semple became the first person to patent a chewing gum - U.S patent #98,304.

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In 1869, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna introduced Thomas Adams to chicle.

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In 1871, Thomas Adams patented a machine for the manufacture of gum.

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DJ Speedy’s career as a DJ is well known in South Africa and followed closely by the all since 1998. Though his career started at the age of 15 at xenon in Portugal and then went on to his first residency to Greens Nightclub for the year to follow.

It was in South Africa performing for events such as the unforgettable Mother events by Mother productions when discovered by promoter and organizer Peter White that his career reached a new level and then invited to perform at most events including Ice festivals from Ice Productions South Africa. Over all past residencies held currently DJ

Speedy holds his residency at Truth, which considered Johannesburg’s top Dance Club and has had the opportunity to play alongside top internationals such as Armin Van Buuren, Carl Cox, Cosmic Gate, Ferry Cortsen, Mauro Picotto, Judge Jules, Pete Tong, Tritonal, Simon Patterson, Myon & Shane 54, Ummet Ozcan, Andy Duguid, K-Klass, The orb, Sasha, Jon Digweed, Dave Seamen, Yves De Reuter, DJ Jan, Alex morph, Roger Shah to mention a few. His passion and devotion for the music has best described as “flawless” and in March 1999 only at the age of 20 the won the prestigious South African DJ of the year competition. With both local and international judges, the competition included some of South Africa’s finest DJ’s, playing to an audience of 8000 people. Since then speedy continued to surprise his fans and was honored as DJ of the year for 3 continuous years and accepting the people’s crystal awards for best DJ in 2001, 2003 and 2006. Derek the Bandit from 5fm recognized and awarded DJ Speedy as the hardest working DJ for 2001, 2004 and 2009. As a resident for the DTB show on 5fm his mixes are still heard throughout the Country. Over all DJ Speedy’s success he always keeps producing, mixing and improving the sound of our Dance Culture led to mix a range of compilations and finally together with the Operators released FY2K and yet another achievement was reached when the titled “Awake” produced by the operators and mixed by DJ Speedy reached number 1 on 5fm (SA’s Top radio Station) in South Africa. This continued success story has allowed him to play in Portugal, Spain, Holland, Pakistan, and Dubai. In 2001 DJ Speedy enjoyed an extensive tour in Belgium where he played at the club Illusion where Illusion records Belgium have licensed the track called “Sanity” for the European market. His appearances are always constant and tours nationally always

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leaving his fans in total despair for his return. DJ Speedy’s confidence in the Dance Culture in South Africa has allowed him to launch his own podcast titled Essential Elements. The Podcast became an instant success and his first two episodes climbed straight to the number 1 podcast charts on ITunes. With all his successes DJ Speedy relentlessly looks to his future with excitement and will continue to be rated South African’s top Progressive and Trance House DJ for years to come, always with that final remembrance of perfection left with his fans.

GOALS AND OBJECTIVES •

Build my business over the next 5 years

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Build the We LUV EDM brand in SA

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Release a few productions of my own

ACHIEVEMENTS, ACCOMPLISHMENTS •

Released 33 compilations under dj Speedy Brand

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Rated 249 on the Dj Mag top 100 in 2001

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Won people magazine crystal awards 2001, 2003, 2006

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Won the Toyota Dj of the year competition in

STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES •

I take things too personally

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Can get frustrated quickly

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Use criticism to push me forward and

1999 FAVOURITE SPORTS / HOBBIES •

Definitely soccer

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Music

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Formula 1

Succeed. CAREER DEVELOPMENT PLAN •

Have just finished studying for my Digital Marketing Diploma

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Want to start studying music production

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Hopefully become a full time producer

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PERSONALITY •

Emotional

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Fun

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Easy going

What I don’t like is when opposition resorts to below the belt tactics to get ahead. It’s not necessary and all it does is creates enemies within such a small industry that is already strained.

WHAT DO YOU SEE AS SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY •

Helping those that are less fortunate

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Giving my time or services to help build communities

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Being a role model to as many kids as possible, they are the future.

DESCRIBE YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFESTYLE •

I wear allot of hats during the week. I have my own digital marketing business, I assist with line ups at Truth nightclub, I throw my own events, I am the ambassador for Armada music in South Africa so that takes up allot of my time as well. I compile and promote CD releases through Next Music.

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Weekends, I spend either performing, producing my podcasts are watching sports

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And in between all of this I still try to find the perfect woman for me..;-)

WHAT OTHER THAN MUSIC IS YOUR PASSION IN LIFE •

Soccer, I love soccer. I used to play for a wellknown European club when I was younger but then I had to move to SA and so that came to an end.

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Travelling I would follow summers around the world if I could.

DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

WHAT DO YOU DO FOR YOUR COMMUNITY?

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I’m pretty easy going, albeit very shy towards people I don’t really know. Once I get to know you then I’m an open book.

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I am a very emotional guy and base allot of my decisions on emotions and that gets me into trouble sometimes.

I actually do allot of work for Acorn Foundation to assist in raising funds for less fortunate families and communities. I take part in fundraisers and run their social Media as well.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE PASSION BEHIND YOUR MUSIC DESCRIBE YOUR OPPOSITIONS •

FEELING

TOWARDS

I think adversity and competitiveness is healthy for me as a person and for the industry. It gives me another reason to work harder and do more to stand out.

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Music has to reach out to me, it has to have the ability to change the way I’m feeling, whether it makes me happy or sad. If I look back through the years and listen to an old classic song that I liked and played, that song will bring back a specific experience I went through in my life when that song was being played.

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So when I listen to a song if it really hits me and I feel it then I know the chances are its going to do the same to the crowds I’m playing for.

WEBSITE LINKS •

www.facebook.com/djspeedysa

BLOG PAGES AND ANY OTHER INFORMATION . •

www.twitter.com/djspeedysa

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www.mixcloud.com/djspeedysa

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www.youtube.com/richardsantana157

During my time spent with Richard or as you all know him by now DJ SPEEDY, I had to look deep and hard to find what I thought I’d find, seeing that he is a resident of one of our most indulged clubs and you would easily suggest this individual to be either shallow or high maintenance, if not initially expected from a celebrity figure in our society. But seeing him for who he is, not only brought me back to earth but sought to me a reality check for most young artists out there. There were moment during the interview that I had to either rethink my opinions or just mere silence inside my head, just stunned at what I prepared for and what I got in actual fact. Comparing most of my interviews done, you’d expect him to be either difficult or intimidating in someway, as others not even at his point in their careers would shadow down on you some sort of inferior vibe, but this individual actually wanted to listen to what I had to say , what my opinions was, and how I saw things out of my

perspective. I would suggest that the interview was not a editorial exercise to complete someone’s profile in such a way , to hide the true and natural fact behind who they are after hours, or whom they would like society to perceive them as , but a mere writing of what in actual fact is absolutely true. If I look at my interview sheet, the first thing I noted was the fact that the notes made , was of no use to my already created perception of who he is , it was not even necessary to question most of his answers or reactions as the book stayed completely open at all times. Though no one goes un-criticised in my eyes, as we all have some faults. I do suggest to the readers to rather take time out of your weekends and go see him play, even if spending time with him from the crowd perspective, what you see behind that DJ Box and what you feel when he starts his music, is exactly who he is in real life, without the fancy lights and gadgets.

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Most of the time I would refer to the DJ features in my magazine as the public knows them, because the mere fact of knowing them by name and having spent time with them, enforces a natural instinct to keep to their stage names, as that is who they are, but in this situation I find myself referring to him on his own name, as the perception on who he is, is not a stage name, but who he really is. Rarely would you find a public figure to be shy and distorted , you would mostly find focused and all together profiles of them, though Richard on the other hand, is shy, and introvert in some situations, though he says something like it is, nothing less or more. He is an individual that even the worst of us can feel at home with, it was not only an honour to meet him, but sheer pleasure, seeing I felt I was spending precious time with a long lost friend.

EVENTS DJ SPEEDY HAS PERFORMED IN. - H2O ft Deadmau5 (2012) www.h2oparty.com (20 000 attendance) - H20 ft Avicii (2012) www.h2oparty.com (20 000 attendance) - Ultrafestival 2011- Dj Speedy & friends arena (8000 attendance for festival) - Ultrafestival 2010- 8000 attendance - Slippery n wet ft Ronski Speed - H2O all white affair ft Bobina (2011) www.h2oparty.com (10 000 attendance) - H20 city to city 2011- (Marcel woods) www.h2oparty.com (15 000 attendance) - Ferry Corsten Live at the blue Room (December 2010)- 8000 attendance - Electric circus- ft Bass Kleph (5000 attendance) - Comic Gate at Truth- (5000 attendance) ¯ Camel Experience 2009 (15 000 attendance) ¯ Camel Experience 2002 (15 000 sellout) ¯ Dance Opera ¯ Dreamscape Carl Cox (New Years Eve 2000/2001) ¯ Dreamscape (New Years Eve 1998/1999) ¯ Dreamscape (New Years Eve 1997/1998) ¯ Fantasia ¯ H20 ft bob sincalir- (10 000 attendance) ¯ Ice (Nick Warren) ¯ Ice (Judge Jules) ¯ Ministry Of Sound (Fragma) ¯ Ministry Of Sound (Marc Et Claude) ¯ Mother (The End Tour) Jhb & Dbn

¯ Mother (Positiva Tour) ¯ Mother (Woman’s Day) ¯ Mother (Valentines 99) ¯ Mother (Sasha And John Digweed) ¯ Mtn Pulse Party ¯ Resolution (Zimbabwe) ¯ Time Of Change Festival (Spain) ¯ Truth (Judge Jules) 20 ¯ Venezia FT Jeremy Healy (Dubai)

ACHIEVEMENTS ² Winner of the conquest of the millennium Dj competition 1999. ² Winning best Dj at the people magazines crystal awards may 2001 and 2003 and 2006 ² Derek the bandit from 5fm Dj of the year award 2001, 2004, 2009 ² DJ Mag best dj’s in the world, ranked at 249. ² Essential Elements podcast charts at number 1 for consecutive weeks on Itunes ² over 30 mixed compilations released by Dj Speedy across African markets

CITIES DJ SPEEDY HAS PERFORMED IN - Johannesburg - Cape town - Durban - Dubai - Abu Dhabi - Lisbon - Porto - Braga - Vigo (spain) - Amsterdam - Karachi (Pakistan) - London - Belgium

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A Racist’s Read I stumbled across a book which immediately caught my eye: The Racist’s Guide to the People of South Africa- by Simon Kilpatrick. First and foremost yes, I do read, even though it may appear otherwise in the articles I’ve published thus far, and secondly just because I read a book about racism doesn’t make me one.

This tongue-in-cheek book views the different races we interact with every day in South Africa from a neutral perspective. It is not for the easily offended as it depicts a truthful insight as to why we behave the way we do. The book describes in hilarious detail the difference between black socioeconomic groups and why something like a stressed black person doesn’t exist, in contrast with the whites (White English speaking people) who are obsessed with endurance races and complain about everything. The book lists certain races favourite foods and past times, the difference between Indian Indians and South African Indians. The author does not discriminate and no race is off limits, from Afrikaners to Coloureds and even minorities like Germans, Jews and Portuguese get scrutinised. The perks of China becoming the world superpower, as well as a budget

for expatriates is included in this laugh-a-minute guide. Even the subcultures surrounding races gets the comedic treatment, as this politically incorrect satire writes about things that you won’t be able to find anywhere else but this beautiful country, things like why the Bergies shout: “Yo-mar-sip-oes” whilst practising karate, and the many uses for papsaks. This book reiterates the statement that if you can’t laugh at yourself, then what can you laugh about? This is a must read book for anyone who wants a better idea of why we are known as the rainbow nation, and I’d even go as far as saying that it should be compulsory reading for school subjects like Life Orientation/Sciences.

This national best seller is the perfect book for a weekend getaway, for next to the pool or in front of the fireplace, depending on the season. I can’t help but appreciate the diverse culture that we get to be apart off, and this book helped me realize it. Congrats to Simon Kilpatrick and publishing house Two Dogs, for taking such a controversial topic, and turn it into something light-hearted and funny.

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ONLY A LADY WILL UNDERSTAND...

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This past month I was fortunate enough to watch the greatest live performance band in history, Bon Jovi. To my mind it’s not even a debate, it’s a fact. These rock legends are gods amongst insects in the musical world, period. The New Jersey rock outfit have come a long way over the past 30 years and you won’t struggle to find sources depicting their lifestyles and events that they have done, those are a dime a dozen, so I’m attempting a different approach. Our regular readers would probably know that I like to do things a bit differently, no reason needed, just because I can. I am going to share the Bon Jovi experience from a personal point of view, because in this weirdly wonderful wacky world of ours there might be someone who has experienced it the same way. Where does one begin to tell a tale of this magnitude? Like all good stories at the very beginning, in my case six months ago. When it was announced that the band would return to South Africa I was ecstatic, over the moon, happy beyond description. As a long time fan I finally get to see one of my all time favourite bands live. Something I would regret forever had it slipped me by. I immediately ordered tickets which were sold out quicker than teacups and doylies for a royal wedding.

doesn’t get cancelled. Keeping in mind that when I originally ordered the tickets I had no clue what my whereabouts would be by the time the show started, but I had dead-set determination that come what may I would be part of the crowd when they shout it out loud. I should also add that one does not simply buy Bon Jovi tickets and not get any for your friends, and that’s why I made sure to get extra just in case someone I know doesn’t. Tick tock tick tock, before I could wipe my eyes it was rock o clock and I still had a plus one ticket. And that’s when it struck me, the perfect outing for a date. Sure I could have taken a friend or a family member and just enjoy the thrill of the show, or I could use this opportunity to have a great night out with a perfect stranger. I chose the latter option, to be honest it wasn’t a perfect stranger, don’t get me wrong she is perfect in every way, but I did know her, well kind of. Through social media and the interactions it provides us, we have finally found a tool to eliminate the bane that is blind dating. With the click of the mouse or the tap of a touch screen we can now find out pretty much enough information about whoever tickles our fancy, as they say it is not rocket surgery. I did what any guy would do and asked whether she would be interested in going to the greatest show to be ever staged in this country, in my humble opinion added. As the saying goes, if you don’t ask you will never know. The dreaded right of passage any guy needs to go through in order to set up something of this nature: A question that either has a yes or no answer, nothing in between. Luck was my lady and I got a positive response, sorted out some logistics and it was on like 16-bit old TV game, Donkey Kong.

The date was set for 11th May 2013, the most important day since my birth, and probably will be until my wedding day. For that whole period of time since booking my tickets, up until the actual day of the concert the prospect of seeing the band was stuck in a little corner of my ever-deteriorating mind. I waited patiently, hoping that for whatever reason the event

Not only do I have access to my favourite band, but also the company of a person of interest, could one guy be this lucky? Well sometimes you have to create your own luck. The day arrived and I was up bright and early, in reality I was hung over and late, but this is my story so I’ll sugar-coat it as I see fit. I picked her up as one does, reassuring her that she is in quite capable and responsible hands, well most of the time anyway. We exchanged pleasantries on our way, talking about mutual interests, family and pet peeves, singing along to radio songs and talking about the general state of

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South African roads, before I could even mention how incredible jaw-droopingly beautiful she looked we arrived at the venue. And even though a cold front was hitting the Highveld, the temperature in my veins kept me warm all night thanks to the POI in her rock and roll leather pants. I was determined not to stuff up the date by blabbering some cheesy line of how hot she looked. This once again reaffirmed the infatuation I have with blondes, especially those with majestically blue eyes. Uncle Adolf would declare her the perfect race, and I wouldn’t argue.

Finally we made it into the stadium and what a sight to behold. When promoters say: Sell out crowd, listen and take note. There were people everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Moving through the clusters of people was a mission on its own, finally we found a place we decided would have to suffice for the rest of the show and patiently waited, something we’ve been doing almost the whole afternoon.

Time for a reality check before I lose track of things. There we are at the stadium and people scattering around trying to find the right gate to enter like ants after sweets on a playground. I had trouble validating tickets I ordered 6 months ago and half of the party that were going was nowhere close to the venue. I dare not think of going all the way to heavens door and not be able to enter, so we had to go on a little side quest. If there was a camera crew following us it would have made for a quite the reality show. This whole side quest once again proved that patience is a virtue, staying calm, cool and collected even though you want to go all Boston Bomber on a ticket office proved to be the best approach. Painstakingly waiting in the blistering cold I played witness to a girl who was self admittedly under the influence of alcohol vent her frustration toward a security guard just doing his job in containing calm and orderly conduct amongst the ever growing crowd.

Elvis Blue kicked off proceedings as the warm up act, apparently someone else performed while we were queuing on the outside. Something either they failed to advertise correctly or I was too naïve and unaware to take notice. No use crying over spilt milk I guess. I was already at a disadvantage at this stage as my date vocalized her thoughts about the ‘cute’ drummer, and I didn’t even pack my guitar. As designated driver I walked as far away from all the beer sellers as I could, not in the mood to tempt fate whilst carrying precious cargo. I could already imagine how inhumanly embarrassing it would be to get a DUI fine or even arrested on a day like this. Finally the man, the legend, Bon Jovi took centre stage ready to blow our socks off, and boy did he. As I wrote in the intro, this isn’t a show review but more of memoir of an experience, so I won’t be going through the setlist and give highlights and lowlights of the performance but rather just share moments that

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made time stop, and at other times showed me the darker side of this show going sub culture. The first of those moments came when ‘You give love a bad name’ started. As the Number 1 song on Barney Stinsons All Rise mix CD it was an indicator of the show to follow. Say what you want about rock and roll music, but few artists can completely dominate the stage like Bon Jovi, his showmanship reminds me of WWEs Heart Break Kid, the Show Stopper, Shawn Michaels. His smile alone had the South African women in raptures. When he looked at one girl it was as though he was looking at them all. They swooned at his every move, and when the pelvic thrusts started the medics were on standby with their sedatives. With the stadium at capacity, lyrics were shouted and sometimes drunkenly mumbled, wolf whistles was the order of the day, and applause more frequent than Charlie Sheen to rehab was seen and heard as standard. It is as though the crowd was at the bands beck and call, we were the puppets and they our masters, and we loved it. I soon got familiarized with the fans around me, there was a young girl who obviously lives close to the airport because the first plane went over her house way too early. She was properly smashed, I’ve crawled out of beer festivals smelling cleaner than her, and her dodgy looking boyfriend who is probably friends with the girls dad wasn’t helping the cause by keeping on refilling their drinks. As ‘I’ll be there for you’ was filling the Johannesburg airwaves I saw couples, lovers, friends swaying to and fro, sharing a moment with someone special in their lives, this girl was staggering all over the place, with the so-called boyfriend hands full with cigarettes and beer cups he couldn’t keep her on her feet and she was down. But like any self-respecting drunk, she got up as if nothing happened. I felt as if justice had been served because earlier in the show the same girl kept throwing her arms and disco lights glasses in my face and in the face of everyone around her. The point I’m trying to make is that everyone goes to these shows to enjoy and have fun whilst being entertained, but if you can’t behave in a socially acceptable way that doesn’t hinder other people then you really shouldn’t be there. I felt that it was not my place to tell them to either behave or get out, I was there for the show, not to babysit.

That put aside, the fans around us were all very well behaved, which meant that there weren’t too many distractions from the awesomeness emitting from the stage. With all this action happening around us, and so much to take in I nearly forgot I was there with someone, but she was luckily so into the music like the rest of the people that it didn’t really matter what I did or said, because we were all having fun. Bon Jovi’s interaction with the crowd was top class, and you could easily see why they’ve been selling out shows for 3 decades. Another aspect of Bon Jovis music was that it speaks universally, the crowd was more diverse than the United Nations Assembly, with old and young clinging onto the words of the charismatic melody maker. Songs which I grew up with and moments I had forgotten came flooding back. ‘It’s my Life’ reminded me off my first year in high school and the concert we had to perform for the school, something very trivial but in some way shaped me for the rest of my school career. The band made everyone travel back in time and relive the music in their own special way, a moment that I would cherish forever or until advanced dementia takes it away from me was when ‘Always’ was performed, I could literally feel the overwhelming emotions engulfing the crowd as every single person reflected on their own relationships whether it is current or in the past. You could see people on their phones either trying to capture the moment to share with others, or just to text that certain someone who couldn’t be there: ‘I will love you, always’.

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As a wannabe- writer I thought if I could have a 5 min interview with them what would I ask? And the answer I came up with was ‘Nothing’ because everything these Icons could possibly share they do so through their music, and that is the mark of the true artist, and many Bon Jovial fans would agree. Another blemish on an almost perfect night was that when Bon Jovi says: It’s Alright! And you don’t know the correct response is to echo him in the lead up to ‘Who says you can’t go home’ then there is a major gap in your Bon Jovi upbringing, the band eventually got the crowd caught up and we partied on.

someone up from such sweet slumber to see where an horrific accident took place didn’t seem right. All it did was remind me that I made a promise to get her home safely, a promise I kept. Is she potentially the mother of my children? It is too soon to say, but if everyday could be spent by watching Bon Jovi with someone with such a pure essence radiating from their soul, I cannot see why not. I bade her farewell after making sure she was safe, I got into bed and said: Thank You Bon Jovi, before sleep overtook me, realizing that indeed we are all ‘Living on a Prayer’.

Old songs, new songs and even covers like ‘Pretty Women’ and ‘Twist n Shout’ made for one epic playlist, and as the songs kept on coming it was incredible to watch these old school rockers keep up the energy levels after two and a half hours. Another WOW moment was when the lights were dimmed and Bon Jovi asked the crowd to take out their cell phones and cameras. 70000 lights went up, and it felt as though I was in a far off galaxy as ‘Dead or Alive’ rang out through the speakers. As the people started leaving the encores started coming, an encore that lasted so long it could qualify as a set on its own. All of a sudden I was aware of it, of love, of love and appreciation of the music and people we share it with. I saw budding love in a pre-teen boy holding hands with a young girl dancing, I was envious, there I had the most romantic song in the known universe ‘Bed of Roses’ playing, and I didn’t make a move. Bad form on my part, a missed opportunity to say the least. As the show finally came to an end, you could see that the band left everything they had to give up on that stage. After 3 hours on this emotional thought provoking rollercoaster, it finally stopped. I felt content, as if everything in the world was right…until I saw the traffic. After negotiating my way through thousands of cars all trying to get home, I was finally on the open road in the early morning hours. The serenity with which my date was sleeping in the car as I drove back brought peace to my mind that everything went well. As drowsiness set in and the winter fog flowed over the roads, and all types of animals could be seen darting over the road trying to avoid the cars bright lights, I drove by the scene of an accident, I didn’t have the heart to wake her, to wake Feeling The Vibe Online Magazine has copyright on the said documents as well as all information given out to the public for e ntertainment purposes.

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