Chapter one: I thought we were a loving family My concept of a loving family shattered abruptly by a nasty divorce. After the divorce, nothing would be the same. I found myself forced to choose between my mother and father. This situation would cost me to have sleepless nights, because my family was falling apart. I’ll be the first one to admit it; I never saw this coming. Growing up, I can’t recall ever seeing my parents fuss or fight. They were clearly in love, soul mates if you will. However, sometimes the things you don’t see under the surface have a way of causing the most damage. Whenever it finally rears its ugly head, it explodes on contact. I asked myself, Angela, will the Kings’ rule their palace with abundance once again? Can my parents work this out? As I look back at it now, it seems as if all of it was a lie. They kept me in the dark about what was truly going on. All the family vacations, family dinners and family functions were a front. They conned me into thinking we were a happy family, when the truth was, we were anything but happy. In public we seemed like the perfect family, we were always together. We went on vacations as a family, and even attended church together. My parents counseled other couples who were on the verge of divorce. My parents believed that there was nothing more important than family. Family was God’s way of providing the world with love, happiness and stability. Everyone respected my parents; in fact, they were even the 2013 business couple of the year. We all thought things were perfect. You know someone always says there were signs. Nevertheless, I never saw a sign or had a clue that anything was wrong; from where I stood, our lives were perfect. How could I not know you ask? Well I asked myself the same thing repeatedly and in my mind. My folks made sure we appeared to be the perfect family. It wasn’t until I learned about the divorce, that I realized my perfect family was far from perfect. I abruptly found out my whole world and what I based my life on was a complete lie. I can’t believe how I allowed my eyes to deceive me. I felt like such a fool for not noticing the trouble that was brewing in my own home. Being a child doesn’t excuse you from being ignorant. I looked up to my folks. I wanted to have a relationship just like my parents. It was the perfect relationship, so I thought. I remember times my childhood where my father would come home from a hard day’s work. As soon as he walked in the door he would say, “I’m home baby.” My mother would race towards him to give him a kiss and take his briefcase. She would take off his shoes and get him something to drink. My father would tell her how he missed her and how beautiful she looked. At first when my father came home, I would run to kiss and hug him. Then my mother told me that she should be the first one he saw when he got home. Looking back it seemed they were in love, but in actuality, they were far from it. How grueling it must have been to pretend you loved someone for such a long time. Imagine all the fake kisses and hugs, pretending to be in love. When you know, you despise that person with
a passion. That’s a terrible way to live and I refused to live that way. I guess my parents must have been thinking of me and my feelings. Thinking of what it would do to me, if I learned the truth, not wanting to destroy, my concept of the perfect family. At least that’s what I hope they were doing. I hope they loved me so much that they pondered over whether they should tell me or not. They must have been weighing out their options. Thinking about how it would affect me and how it would destroy our bond. Regardless, it was selfish of them to keep me in the dark. I’m part of this family too. I know they felt they were only doing what’s right; the deception is what truly hurts, intentionally deceiving me day after day, manipulating my childhood as well as my upbringing. I thought we could talk about anything but obviously, I was wrong. It seems as if the morals and values they raised me on, were just meaningless words. How can I idolize a man who believed he should always “tell it like it is”, and all along, he’s been living a lie? How can I respect a woman who drilled it in my mind to find a man who will give you his all, when all she did was pretend to be in love? I thought we were a loving family. I can remember it so vividly; at our last family reunion, my parents danced the night away, as the music played. As they stared in each other’s eyes, you couldn’t help but feel the love they shared. You mean to tell me, that was a lie. They staged it all—it’s just too hard to believe that. I guess we were a family of secrets, lies and deception. I was completely unaware of what was really going on. The ones I trusted kept me in the dark. No one thought enough of me to tell me what was really going on; not my parents, not my aunt, no one. It seems like I’m living life in the shadows, behind the scenery. Sometimes when kept in the dark, others can manipulate you a lot easier, by a well-thought-out plan or an image of a perfect life. For years, I thought we were the family everyone envied. I loved seeing my parents together in marital bliss. After twenty-three years of marriage, my parents still loved each other. I was proud that I had a family that loved each other and stuck together through thick and thin. Then one day it all changed, and it was as if I didn’t know the people that were standing in front of my very own eyes. I told myself these folks aren’t the folks that raised me. This wasn’t the loving home I grew up in. My family was a family of love. It disturbs me how someone can be in love for years, and then all of a sudden throw what they had away. After all, it’s not a piece of garbage; it’s a twenty-three year relationship. It withstood the hands of time. Why would you continue to stay in an unhealthy relationship for so many years? Then all of a sudden, you want out. My parent’s relationship was solid and no one can sit here and convince me otherwise. I saw how they would look at each other. I heard their conversations and I felt the love they had for each other. I’m sitting here puzzled; I’m trying to figure out what went wrong. You see, my parents treated me like the princess I truly was. They worked hard to instill morals and values in me. I was their only child; they taught me the importance of family. We were close and could talk about anything and everything. My relationship with my father was so special that my mother would get jealous at times. Maybe it was because the way she was raised; my mother’s parents didn’t care. They weren’t concerned about her future or pushed her to achieve anything. My mother watched her parents go from job to job, dragging them from house to house. Not only did they struggle, but
also her parents would drink all the time. When her parents got drunk, they would fight all the time. Her mother was insecure and always accusing her father of having an affair. My father came in my mother’s life at the perfect time. Her mother was beginning to accuse her of sleeping with her father. All my mother ever wanted to do, was get away from all that drama. However, deep inside she’d never felt love or knew what real love was. My mother focused more on school, because she knew that was her way out. She knew that was her way to a better life; when she couldn’t take it anymore, she moved to a friend’s house, so she could focus more on her education. As hard as she studied, she was just an average student. When she met my father, he motivated and pushed her to excel in her schooling. Although my father felt school wasn’t for him, he knew knowledge was power. He worked hard and put my mother through college. She agreed to pay my father back, the first chance she got. She went to college to be a biochemist and achieved great success in her career. Although her family was a mess, our family was a family of love. Other than my mother throwing me in my father’s face, everything was perfect. For some reason, my mother couldn’t understand why my father spent so much time talking to me. My father was getting me ready for the real world. He was preparing me for life. He taught me how a woman should carry herself. He said that a woman should have pride and carry herself with dignity and grace. My father taught me all men aren’t the same; also, don’t let a handsome face fool you. Find someone who has morals and believes in something. Find someone who loves God and he will love you. It seemed like he was always preaching, but I knew he truly loved me. I appreciated his advice and the lessons he taught me. He was so easy to talk to and I was comfortable telling him anything. I knew he would give it to me straight, no matter what the situation was. We had such a special bond. My father understood me and made sure I knew I was a queen. He taught me that I must love and respect myself, before I expect a man to love me. He was constantly telling me I’m royalty; after all, we were the Kings, so he made sure I knew that a man shouldn’t treat me any less than a queen. If I settled for anything less than I deserved, I would be demeaning myself, especially for a woman whose last name is King. As straightforward as he was, he wasn’t afraid to do girly things with me. We spent a lot of time together, played with dolls and did things that I loved doing. My father was always willing to go the extra mile to put a smile on my face. I remember I was nine years old when he brought me this beautiful life-size dollhouse. It took him all day, but he set it up for me and we played in that dollhouse all night long. It seemed like my mother disliked doing girly things with me, but my father wasn’t afraid to do things that made me happy. My father would do anything to put a smile on my face. On my tenth birthday, I had a sleepover. My father let me and my friends dress him up like a lady. We even put makeup on him; he looked so silly, but we had so much fun. That brought us even closer, being able to do things together. He didn’t care what others thought about it. All he cared about was spending time with his daughter. As I got older, our bond got even stronger. I knew if I wanted to be happy, then I must find a loving man like my father; someone who had those same qualities, and would put his family first.
My father worked long hours and was gone a lot. However, when he was home, he devoted all his attention to his family. Nothing was off limits; we could do anything. My father took us out to dinner. We played in the park and went on trips as a family. My bond with my mother was just as solid, we did so much together, from going shopping to getting our hair and nails done. I loved how my mother and father spoiled me with love. My friends envied the relationship I had with my folks. Sometimes they felt as if they had to compete with my parents for my affection, but it wasn’t like that at all. My parents encouraged me to have fun with my friends and enjoy my childhood. We had slumber parties, talked and fantasized about boys, went skating and did girl stuff. My mother was one of my best friends; she didn’t like to share me either, not even with my father. She liked me to stay by her side; I was like her partner in crime. As close as I was with my mother, I was Daddy’s baby and she knew it. I was beginning to turn into the beautiful woman my mother was, with flawless shoulder length hair. Beautiful dark skin and a body that would make anyone stop and stare. I’m more than just beauty; I’m smart, talented and independent. I want something out of life and I‘m not settling for less. The day I graduated from high school, I made my parents so proud of me. All their hard work had finally paid off. Their daughter was becoming a woman and ready to take on the world. As a graduation gift, my parents bought a car for me. I loved my car but I loved seeing them so proud of me. I’d never seen my parents more proud of me than they were that day. I felt so honored to be a King and I knew I had some big shoes to fill, but I preferred to walk in my own stilettos. I was determined to keep a smile on their faces. I was ready to attend college at Freeman University for my Bachelor’s in Business Administration as well as Culinary Arts. My whole future looked bright; I was taking up the career of my dreams, preparing myself for my future and getting ready for the real world. I decided to stay on campus, so I could live in the real world and become more independent. I would finally have a little more freedom. I knew that not staying home would hurt my parent’s feelings, but I had to show them they raised a strong woman, who could make good decisions, on her own. I would always try to call home as much as I could; I would even try to come home a few weekends out the month. I knew it wouldn’t be the same as being home, but I was ready for this big step forward. Telling my parents I wanted to live on campus was one of the hardest things I ever done in my entire life. Surprisingly, my parents weren’t mad and understood. They still wanted me to stay there, but respected my decision, as long as I made good grades and wouldn’t party on school nights. I still felt like they were disappointed that I wasn’t going to stay home, but I was willing to compromise, and determined to make sure my bond with my mother and father stayed strong. That’s why I couldn’t break their hearts by going to a college in another state; I had offers from some prominent schools, but in the end, I wanted to be close to home. Freeman University was a great school with the highest success rate of graduates working in their field of studies. In addition, top business advisors recommended it. We weren’t rich unless you count being rich in spirit. Then again, my father and his business were worth millions, so we were better off than most. Some folks said that since my folks had money they should pay for my education, rather than allowing me to accept a scholarship. What they fail to realize, is that I earned that scholarship and my folks made me work for everything I
wanted. My father taught me that money isn’t everything and you appreciated it more when you worked for it. I had an allowance, but I had to do chores in order to get that allowance. If I didn’t do my chores right then, I received deductions from my allowance for not doing my work properly. I learned how to budget; I also learned to respect the value of money. At the end of the week, my father gave me my allowance, but took out for taxes, just like in the real world. Therefore, I knew even though my parents could afford to send me to college, earning a scholarship was my best option and my dad would probably pay for anything else I needed. My father and I discussed arrangements to pay him back. That drove home the importance of obtaining an education, and ultimately, graduating. My dad was a successful business executive and my mother had a successful career as well. My father owned his own marketing and graphic design company; if you had a dream, he could create it, design it, promote and market your business. He had the freshest designs and wasn’t afraid to think outside the box. Ultimately, his business was doing so well, my mother eventually decided to stop working. I knew they wouldn’t settle for anything less; not only did I have something to prove to them, but I also have something to prove to myself. Although I had a little freedom, by no means was I truly free. My father would check on me at any given moment. He made sure I knew that my education was my top priority. He also made sure I knew the statistics of the college dropouts who quit every year. My father was a very proud man, he believed in taking advantage of opportunities. My father started out with nothing and built his empire with faith and courage. He never went to college but he never stopped learning and striving to do better. My father stepped out on faith and started his own business and it was instantly successful. There were no excuses; through hard work and determination, he pulled himself up the corporate ladder, and expected the same from me. He knew I had what it took to be successful and he would motivate me to do just that. He checked on me throughout the week; my dad would take me to lunch twice a week, just to catch up on things and visit with his princess. His favorite words were, “No partying on school days, princess.” His other favorite phrase was, “You are a queen, and the man you marry should treat you like royalty.” I respected his wishes and studied hard; I wanted to make my family proud. Truth is I wanted to follow in my father’s example. Just a picture or a thought would inspire him to create amazing designs, as beautiful and elegant as a priceless piece of art. He loved what he did and it showed. I wanted to be just like him, and own my own business. All my life, I wanted to have my own bakery shop. I had the perfect name— King’s Sweets and Treats. The name alone was music to my ears. I couldn’t wait to have my father design my logo and help me advertise my bakery shop. I was always coming up with new pastries and cupcakes. I had a passion for food; my father and I would be in the kitchen trying new recipes, trying to out cook and bake each other. That’s why we were so close, because we were just alike. Although I knew it would be years before I could open up my own bakery shop, I could smell my ovens baking up a batch of success. My signature cupcake’s name would be King’s Passion. I would also specialize in cakes, pastries, doughnuts and elegant treats—good quality products with a royal and elegant taste.
My first week of college was nerve-racking. I was anxious, scared, and eager all in one. As I stared at this beautiful campus, I took a deep sigh and realized my future is in my hands. If I didn’t take it seriously, I could be ruining my life. I didn’t come all this way not to succeed, so it was on. I’m taking this chance for what it’s worth. I will do everything I can to succeed. Little did I know it wouldn’t be as easy as I’d imagined. As I saw the young men on campus, I knew I made the right choice to stay on campus. However, I can’t lie; they made it hard for me to stay focused; I was infatuated by every guy I saw. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all, I said to myself, Angela King stay focused. Just like that, I was back to reality. As I was in my pastry class, all I could think about was rubbing my cake batter all over that sexy hunk of a man named Xavier. Jacob’s body gave me the urge to drench chocolate all over it and slowly lick it off him. At that very moment, my father’s words popped in my head. “I know there will be some young men who you find attractive, but concentrate princess, remember what’s at stake. You didn’t come this way to let someone stop you from achieving your dreams.” As funny as it seems, we never talked about sex until I headed off to college. I guess my father knew if curiosity hit me, I would come to him or my mother. When time came to leave, he sat me down and we talked about sex. I was a little bit curious. I asked my mother about it, but all she said is when you’re ready, you will know. Daddy sat down beside me and said, “Sex is universal and is meant to be taken seriously. Your body is a temple; you must keep it pure. It’s hard to be friends and lovers, because sex complicates things—sex is personal. It’s an emotional feeling between two individuals that shared a passionate experience.” He took a deep breath, before continuing. “You shouldn’t have it unless you’re ready. Sex before marriage is risky and could be a disaster. Sometimes it feels like you met the perfect person and you can’t see yourself with no one else. You have to be careful, because looks are deceiving and you wind up heartbroken. That’s why you keep your morals and values intact.” My father stood up and walked around the room for a moment. “Princess, respect yourself and find someone who loves and respect you before you give your body to him. I felt very strong about your mother. I saw a woman that was dying inside to be loved and I felt in my heart she was truly special. As our relationship evolved, I noticed she was insecure. I did everything to prove to her that she had nothing to worry about. I wanted to have sex with her, but I knew with everything she was going through, I had to be sensitive to her feelings; I waited until she was ready. I knew we’d have to have this conversation eventually. Sometimes for someone who’s just discovering sex, it makes them emotional. Dealing with hormones and sexual desires, it feels like this,” Daddy began to recite a poem.
My heart is full of rage. My body is full of lust.
Engaging in sex, who can I trust? Should I trust the voice of a smooth tone? The one with the heartfelt words “I love you” whispering in my ear? Or a smooth and gentle touch alongside of my face, the prettiest smile and the words no one can take your place. It’s just sex. I know you want it as bad as I do. But is it right or is it just a part of life. My heart cries out what do I do. Is it love or is it lust. Sex before marriage, who can I trust? My parents just don’t understand, I’m not tryna grow up to fast. I’m just tryna understand. I’m curious about so much, yet I’m taught so little. No one’s here to give me advice. I feel all alone trapped in the real world. My heart cries out for love… If not from my parents, then who… With a gentle touch I hear the words, “I’ll be here for you.” As I engage in sex I wonder is it fair.
Sex before marriage, do you care? Your heart is racing and your body is full of fear You’re not ready but, you let your innocence disappear. Never have sex with someone who doesn’t have your heart. Relax and you’ll find someone who loves you for you It’s not just sex; it’s what they think you stand for. Respect yourself and make them wait until you’re ready. It’s not just sex, it’s about control. Cherish your body and they will too. “Believe it or not, men respect someone who has morals and values. Anytime you can get it just like that, it is a sign that she’s easy and not worth your time. Your body is the most precious and valuable gift you can give someone. Men love women who are Intelligent as well as beautiful. Dress with respect, leave them imagining what the prize looks like. Always carry yourself like a lady. When someone loves you, you get this feeling of love and joy, compassion. I’m hoping that you spend this time focusing on your education instead of boys.” My father’s words kept me focused. My roommate Natasha was feeling the same way I was— confused. We both were going through the hormonal turmoil, and vowed to look after each other. I was glad to have her support. My home girl from the neighborhood also attended Freeman’s University, but she wasn’t taking college serious, so I distanced myself from her. However, Natasha and I really clicked; she was interested in making her own candy, so we decided to go into business together. With both of us on board, there was no doubt in my mind that this would be a great opportunity for us. King’s Sweets and Treats would be a success; Natasha was a hard worker, and very passionate about what she believed in. She really wanted to make her mother proud of her; her mother sacrificed so much for her she felt that she owed her. Her family wasn’t as stable as mine was, so college was a big deal to her. She was the first one in her family to attend college. She was determined to acquire the knowledge to run a successful business. Her mother gave her a necklace engraved with the year she graduated high school, to symbolize how her strength and courage could get her through anything, as long as she stays focused. As we talked about her family, she was very emotional. It broke my heart to hear her father had
walked out on her and her mother. She began to tell me how her mother worked two jobs to save up to get her in college. Just hearing stories like that makes me love my family even more. My father has always been my hero; he’s taught me so much and always makes time for me, and I can’t wait to introduce her to my father. I was starting to feel at home on campus. I settled down, did my work, and met new and interesting people. Nevertheless, I just couldn’t wait to go home for the weekend. When I went home, it was as if nothing changed. My mother and I shopped and talked about the sexy college men on campus. She was trying to find out if I met someone that I was interested in, but nonetheless, I enjoyed our girl time. My father and I watched the football games together. Before the game, my father fried up some chicken and fries, while I made some pancakes; I love pancakes with my chicken. We made our famous drink called King’s Tea, which ironically doesn’t contain any tea. My father and I always make a bet before the game. We both liked the same team, but we like to bet each other, so one of us will choose the opposite team. We bet money or we challenge each other to do something that the other will get a kick out of. For example, the loser would have to buy the losing team’s shirt and wear it to the mall, with a sign on it that said, “I picked the wrong team”. When the New Orleans Saints played the Atlanta Falcons, I couldn’t wait to see my dad in that Falcons shirt and the sign; I knew that would irk him, especially since he was a Saints fan. When the Saints won, I made him walk all over the mall wearing that Falcons shirt and that sign; I won’t front, I was enjoying every moment of it. I had him walk in Dick’s Sporting Goods, and buy an Atlanta Falcons shirt; I even talked the gentleman at the customer service desk into letting me get on the P.A. system and say, “Hey everyone, look at my father in that Atlanta Falcon shirt; he lost a bet to me and has to wear this shirt all day long. The sign on the shirt says, “I picked the wrong team”. I still love you, Daddy,” I laughed hysterically while he told me to enjoy my victory because when the Jets beat us, it will be payback. Since we both liked the same team, to make things fair, I had the Saints for all the home games, and Daddy had them for the away games. I remember when the Saints lost to the Jets; I had to be a Jets cheerleader. It was embarrassing saying “Go Jets,” when I knew my team just lost to them. My dad even made me take pictures in my Jets cheerleader outfit with other Saints fans. He posted the picture online for further embarrassment, so the Saints had better win the next game. I’m plotting serious revenge. Later on that night, I was supposed to go hang out with my home girls, but since my dad and I were having so much fun, I canceled. They were upset, but they’ll get over it. I just wanted to enjoy some time with my father, get a good night’s sleep and be ready for my classes in the morning. I told my father about my roommate Natasha, and we discussed her and I going into business together. My father thought it could work, depending on what kind of candy creations we could develop. He also said, “Let’s get with the lawyer and see what our options are. Then we can come up with a plan to make your business a success and run smoothly.” He also told me to absolutely certain I want to go into a partnership with her. I assured him I’d made up my mind and I knew we were going to make this work.
As I made it back to my dorm room after class, I told Natasha how much I enjoyed my weekend with my parents; I felt like I was a little kid again having so much fun. Natasha had also enjoyed her weekend with her mother. As the week went on, classes were getting harder and harder, and I really had to buckle down and stay on top of my work. Thank goodness, Natasha and I kept each other balanced and focused. As I went for lunch, my father signaled for me to invite Natasha. We all had a quick bite and discussed our future; I think now we are all on the same page. Natasha told me that I have a cool father as we went over some homework together, and she can see why I loved him so much. She also told me that she envies my relationship with my father. I also loved the fact that Xavier was checking me out more and more. I knew he was interested in me, I could tell by the way he acted, but he wasn’t sure if he should make that move just yet. I showed him more affection, and more eye contact; my walk was flirtier towards him. There were many sexy college guys around that it just blew my mind, but I knew Xavier was the one for me. My competition was fierce, these ladies were gorgeous; I felt that I too had a lot to offer and any man would be lucky to have a woman like me by their side. As I made eye contact with Xavier, we knew we both had something on our minds. I tapped Natasha on her shoulder and told her, “Watch; he’s going come this way.” Sure enough, he was walking this way. Xavier made his move and gently grabbed my hand. “Can I holler at you for a minute?” My girl Natasha told him, “That’s my girl, so I’m watching you; don’t make me get ignorant in here.” Before I could say something, Xavier said, “I got it; I just want to talk to her for a minute, just chill for a few.” He pulled me to the side and explained, “Angela you know I been having my eyes on you for a while now. I was afraid to approach you, thinking you would reject me. However, here I am, ready for rejection by a woman I think is worth getting to know. I know you got all these dudes after you. If you give me a chance, I can show you that I’m here for you. I sat back in the cut to see how you carry yourself and if you’re worth having someone who truly loves you. Here’s my number, call me some time if you’re interested. Oh, and your king has arrived Ms. King.” As he walked off, Natasha and I giggled and laughed in approval. “Uum hum Angela girl! I see Mister Xavier had you blushing big time. I’m happy for you, but you know I’ll watch your back; you’re my girl.” I was grinning from ear to ear; I knew he was interested in me. However, I had to make sure he wanted a serious relationship. He wasn’t the player type; I hadn’t seen him with too many women. I have respect for myself and I’m not going be anyone’s easy lay, so if he wanted to be with me, he had to prove to me that he deserved a queen like me. He must respect me as well as respect himself; He must love me as a woman should be loved and want something in life. At first, I was skeptical but Xavier was a gentleman. We spent a little time together before and after class. Xavier wanted to be a computer technician. He knew a lot about computers; that really impressed me. I find intelligence and confidence sexy. I really wanted to get to know Xavier.
I wasn’t crazy; I knew he had other females checking him out. He was tall, with a caramel complexion and had dreamy eyes. Just talking to him, I knew he had his head on straight. I wasn’t sure if he wanted an informal relationship, or if he wanted a future with me, but I had to know if he could handle me being an independent woman that wants a family and won’t put up with drama, infidelity, or abuse. I needed to spend more time with him and get a real feel for whom he was. I couldn’t do that at my parent’s house. Natasha and I decided to stay on campus for the weekend and hang out; maybe even go see what the city has to offer. This would be the perfect time for me to spend a little time with Xavier. Natasha would also be able to spend time with her friend Jacob. I’m not sure how or when it happened, but Natasha and Jacob are really getting to know each other. I’m so happy my girl has someone to make her smile and take her seriously. This weekend, we going hard and we’re going to live that college life, enjoying ourselves and exploring, having fun. I knew my parents wouldn’t agree with my decision, but we decided to rent a room for the weekend. That Friday night the fellas and we went to Club Exotic. We had a few drinks, danced and had a good time. Early Saturday morning, Natasha tapped me on my shoulder and told me the fellas were gone. I wasn’t worried; I figured they just stepped out. In fact, they had gone to get us some breakfast and we enjoyed breakfast in bed. A sister could wake up to something like this every day. Later that afternoon, we toured the city checking out amazing sites and culture, and then we went to shoot pool. Finally, we made it back to the room, where we watched movies all night. The fellas wrapped their arms around us as we slept the night away. Sunday we stayed in playing cards, until it was checkout time. That weekend was truly amazing; I felt like I was on cloud nine. We had such a connection with Xavier and Jacob, but we still didn’t want to rush it. I was starting to feel guilty; I knew my parents would be disappointed in me if they knew I rented a room, and spent the weekend lying next to some boy. My bond with my parents was so strong, that it was hard for me to lie to them; eventually I knew I would have to come clean with them. I told Natasha that I was feeling guilty about renting that room. She assured me that we were young adults and we’d handled ourselves responsibly. She also said, “Angela, you don’t have to tell your parents everything.” I thought it would make me feel better; I just had to, I didn’t feel right. Natasha didn’t fully understand my dilemma; they knew everyone in town. I didn’t want it to get back to them; I felt it’d be much easier if I just came clean. Early that morning while I was getting ready for class, I called my mother. She was happy to hear my voice. “Hey Momma’s baby, how’s college? You’re not getting outta control with those college men are you?” My jaw dropped, I said to myself, she already knows, otherwise, why would she ask me something like that? “Of course not mother, I respect myself too much for that. I did find a friend and we are just getting to know each other. This past weekend me, Natasha and the guys rented a room together. We were just…” and then she cut me off before I could say another word. “Little girl, what the hell is wrong with you? We didn’t agree for you to stay on campus so you can rent rooms with boys. I’m so mad and disappointed in you right now. Your father will be
furious when hears about this. I’m on my way to run a few errands; you had better tell him before I get back, or I will. We love you and need you to make better decisions, okay? Bye for now, baby; make sure you tell your father.” I hated to think how my father would take the news. I called and left a message on his phone. “Good morning Daddy, can we have lunch together, I need to tell you something. See you then, love you. Bye Daddy.” My stomach was in knots and I couldn’t really concentrate during class. I didn’t know how my dad would respond to what I had done; I couldn’t stand for him to be mad at me. Lunchtime came faster than it usually does. As I waited for my dad to pull up, I couldn’t stop shaking. Suddenly he pulled up and it was now or never, I jumped in the car and we headed to lunch. “Hey princess you look beautiful as always. I thought you were coming home for the weekend, but I’m glad we can still spend time like this. Something must be bothering you; I heard it in your voice as I listened to your message. So what’s wrong?” I swallowed hard, and that’s when my father grabbed my hand and said,” You know you can tell me anything, other than you’re pregnant, or you dropped out of college; I’m not going for that!” I had no idea I would be this nervous and it would be this hard to come clean, but it was too late to turn back now. I took a deep breath and just told him. “Daddy, Natasha and I rented a room with these two guys from school and hung out. We…” All of a sudden, he pulled over and stopped the car. He looked at me and said, “What! You rented a room with some boys from school?” Without warning, my dad just laughed. “That’s what you were worrying about? You’re a young lady turning into a beautiful woman. Ever since you were able to talk and understand, I’ve been preparing you for this moment to make your own decisions and stand behind the ones that you’ve made. You know how I feel about young men and you know how I feel about you. I raised you to make something out of yourself. You have an excellent opportunity to get everything you want in life. Live out your dreams. Take some time to look at reality. Look around you, look at all the businesses out there. All these businesses started with a dream, a concept to do something different.” Daddy looked at me intently for a moment, and then continued, “Pretty soon you will be another one amongst the many dream achievers. I’m so proud of you baby. It takes a strong and sometimes stubborn person to go after their dreams. So many folks thrive on telling us you can’t do it. As long as you make the right decisions, you’ll be fine. If you need anything, you know I’m always here. Don’t forget I’ve told you to be careful with whomever you decide to share your love with. Don’t let anyone influence you into doing something you’re not ready for. Remember to choose the right decisions and make sure you find someone that loves and respects you. Relax a little, you’re grown, you can enjoy yourself, just don’t forget about your old man.” “Now you know I would never forget about you Daddy.” “That’s my baby, I know you and I know you’re still a virgin. You are still a virgin, right? Did anything happen?”
“Daddy! I’m not that kind of woman, I gotta get to know him first! I just felt guilty about this weekend.” “You don’t have to feel guilty and you don’t have to tell us everything, as long as you make responsible choices, you’ll be good. You also don’t have to make up a reason for me to buy lunch. You’re Daddy’s princess; I got you baby. Let’s order something to eat so I can get you back on time.” “Momma said you would be so mad; she was mad at me, so I was scared to tell you.” “Momma doesn’t know you like I know you. She takes you shopping; I talk to you and we do things together. I taught you how you should act, so I know you know how to carry yourself. I know what kind of work ethics you have, so if your grades drop, then I’ll know you’re out there partying and not taking college serious.” Man, that was a big burden off my chest; I just don’t want to disappoint my parents, especially my father. After lunch, the rest of the day went by smoothly. Natasha said, “I told you they wouldn’t fuss; we’re grown, we just gotta make the right decisions.” I asked Natasha if she wanted to come to my parent’s house for the weekend. She said she had to think about it, she wasn’t sure. Xavier and I talked for a while before I went to bed. He wanted me to spend the weekend with him, just him and me. I told him I try to go home every other weekend, so I just couldn’t. My dad called me later on that day and told me he had to go out of town on business and he would be back early Friday morning. He told if I needed anything, my mother would be home. She wasn’t up for taking the trip with him. He also told me Auntie Joyce would be there, so my mother wouldn’t have to be alone. Natasha decided that she would go home and visit her mother for the weekend. So I guess I had my parents all to myself; I was looking forward to being home and just relaxing, not thinking about school at all. The week flew by fast and the weekend was here once again. I couldn’t wait to get home and spend time with my folks; but as soon as I walked in the house, I felt a little tension in the air. My mother was on the couch watching TV and sipping on some tea. She didn’t seem happy to see me; in fact, she made a smart remark as I walked into the living room. “Oh, now you decide to come home. How come you’re not spending the weekend with what’s his name?” “Mom, you know I try to come home every other weekend.” “Whatever,” she snidely said, before she walked off. I wasn’t sure what that was about; maybe she was still mad about the hotel. I put my bags in my room and went to tell my dad I was here, but he wasn’t home, so I asked my mother if she knew when he’d be back. “Who knows child, he’s probably doing God knows what with God knows who,” she spoke, obviously still upset. “And what’s that supposed to mean, Mother?”
“Just don’t idolize him too much; you don’t know everything about him.” I stood there with a puzzled look on my face. What was she talking about? I was determined to get to the bottom of this, so I called his phone to see where he was. Once he answered the phone I asked him, “What’s going on? Mom seems like something’s bothering her. Did y’all have a fight or argue?” “I’m not sure what’s going on princess, but I’m over here at your Auntie Joyce’s house. Why don’t you come meet me? I’m sure she would love to see you.” After I hung up the phone, I told my mother I’d be back. Auntie Joyce was my favorite aunt, and I was as glad to see her, as she was to see me. We were also real close. After we exchanged pleasantries, my father and I began to talk. He started telling me my mother had been acting crazy lately. “I’m not sure what’s going on princess. I left for my business trip Monday afternoon. I asked your mother to come with me, but she kept making up excuses why she couldn’t come. I called her a few times once I made it there, but she seemed distant, even rushing me off the phone. When I returned home Thursday evening, I made reservations at Pierre Bella for us to have a nice romantic dinner, but she complained the whole time. I even tried to take her dancing and she wasn’t in the mood. I’m not sure what’s going on. I came home early from my business trip so I could spend time with her, before you came home for the weekend, but she’s been tripping ever since I got back. Your Auntie Joyce said she hadn’t noticed her acting or doing anything strange.” “Daddy, I think she thinks you’re seeing other women while you’re on your business trips.” “Well if your mother would come with me, she would know what I’m doing. I think it’s the other way around. Maybe she’s seeing someone else when I’m working and on my business trips. I hope not, but there must be a reason for her to be acting this way.” That’s when my auntie said, “If she is cheating then cut her loose; you can do much better. Maybe she is just under a lot of pressure and stressed out; it may have something to do with the break in.” Before my aunt could say another word, my dad screamed, “What break in, Angela do you know anything about this?” I shook my head no. “Daddy, this is the first time I heard this.” Auntie Joyce said, “Sean, you have to realize you’re gone a lot.” My father was mad as hell. He shouted, “That’s bullshit and you know it. I’m usually home, my job requires me to travel a little bit, not too often, depending on the project and what all needs to be done. I ask my wife constantly to come join me. We can have a wonderful time and enjoy ourselves. It’s my company; I don’t have to be in a rush to come back. Now you’re telling me, someone broke in my house. No one bothered to tell me or even called me when it happened. Not even you. You know Joyce, that’s why I keep you at a distance, because you’re not reliable. I can’t count on you when I truly need you.”
My Auntie responded by saying, “So Sean, you’re trying to tell me this is my fault? Remember that’s your house, and your wife.” Daddy sighed. “I’m not saying it’s your fault, but if I can’t count on you then I don’t need your ass around. You were supposed to be there so she didn’t have to be alone. You were supposed to keep her company while I was gone. But, it’s obvious to me that I can’t count on you for shit, every time I turn around; you got your hand out, always needing something.” My dad left pissed off and I wasn’t quite sure what Auntie Joyce was trying to imply. I just didn’t want to believe that my mother was seeing someone else. Maybe she was just having a bad day. After twenty- three years, I felt they had a love that would last a lifetime. Momma was upset the whole weekend. Even when I tried to talk to her, she snapped on me. I witnessed my father try to reach out to her, but she wasn’t having it. My dad confronted my mother about the break in. Momma snapped, “Oh now you want to know what’s going on? If you’d keep your ass at home, you’d know what was going on here! I got a big-ass empty house that I’m living in all alone cooking and cleaning. Yeah, I had the window replaced and the locks changed; I also filed a police report. Here is the officer’s card who’s handling the case.” That’s when my dad asked her, “Paula why didn’t tell me this before? You know this shit doesn’t sit right with me. Why didn’t you call me after this happened? Who in the hell is going to break in someone’s house and don’t take anything? Look around; everything in this bitch is expensive. Oh and by the way, you’re in this big-ass empty house because you want to be; I never told you to quit your damn job, you decided to quit. Then you opened up a failing boutique; spent most of your money on that boutique and it’s a failure. It’s failing because you’re too busy sticking your nose up in the air at people. You think you’re better than they are, so no one wants to support you. I even tried to offer you marketing and advertising advice; you acted as if you didn’t want my help. I told you to hire someone to help cook and clean. You never did because you’re so insecure with yourself. You don’t want another woman in your presence because you think you will have to compete with them. I cook just as much as you and I never complain, not even after I come home from a long hard day at work. You never told me about the break in because you’re hiding something.” That’s when my mother told him, “I don’t care what you believe,” and she walked away. My father decided to set up a meeting with the officer who was handling the case. They decided to meet up at Fred’s Rib Shack on Winchester. “Good evening Mister King, I’m Officer Clyde Peters. I understand you want to know about the break in at your residence.” “Yes sir, whatever information you can give me will be quite helpful. I don’t want to take up to much of your time; would you care for a drink or something to eat?” “Oh no sir, not while I’m on the job.” “Are you sure? They do have water, Coke, Hi-C, and other non- alcoholic beverages you know.” My father told the waitress to bring him a Scotch and Coke with a slab of ribs. He and the officer continued their conversation.
“Mister King, this incident happened a few weeks ago, but judging by the evidence, I think it was staged. I’m not exactly sure why. Here is a picture of the broken window where the alleged burglar entered the house. Apparently, as she tried to stop him, he attacked her. Here is a picture of what the attacker did to her. This case is confusing, because she declined medical treatment. Her description of the attacker is shaky. She gave us nothing to go on, no physical evidence. The evidence shows us that the window was broken from the inside, which makes us believe she either staged it, or knows who did. This investigation is ongoing and I will keep you informed. I was also puzzled why the security system wasn’t on. Your wife claimed that the system was giving problems and they were fixing it. Needless to say, there is no footage confirming her claims.” “Mister King, I also must inform you that once all the evidence is reviewed, we will determine if this was a real crime. If we come to the conclusion that this was staged, we will be pressing charges on your wife for filing false claims.” My father had a puzzled look on his face as he sipped his Scotch, trying to figure out exactly what his wife was up to. “No disrespect, Officer Peters, but all my business trips usually last between one to three days; a week max. If she was hurt that bad, she couldn’t have healed in a few days. I was never told about this incident until last night, I’m not buying it.” The officer informed him once again that if she’d staged it, then the police department would file criminal charges. I decided to go out with one of my girls from high school; I had to get out of there and relax my mind a little. This weekend didn’t turn out as I’d planned. I wish I had spent this time with Xavier instead. Those words that my auntie said troubled me, and I wondered if they were true. After I returned home, I could hear my mother on the phone whispering to someone. I wasn’t sure whom she was talking to, but I heard her say, “I will tell her soon enough, don’t rush me. We have to wait until it’s the right time or it won’t work, trust me.” I had this weird feeling come over me, but I paid it no mind. I went to my room to relax for a little while. Just as I began to fall into a deep sleep, there was a knock on my door. My mother slowly opened the door and tilted her head inside, trying to see if I was asleep. She whispered my name, “Angela, baby are you sleep?” my eyes were watery and I rubbed my hands alongside my face trying to wake up. I said, “No mother I wasn’t, I was resting my eyes.” “Wake up baby, we need to talk, this is serious.” Confused as hell, I really didn’t know what to think. Earlier she was in a foul mood, now she wants to talk. I know something’s wrong now. I slowly sat up, still tired; my mother took a seat right beside me. The expression alone on her face told me this wasn’t good. She grabbed my hand, took a deep breath, and began to talk. “Listen baby, I want to apologize for the way I acted earlier. I’ve been under a lot of stress and dealing with so much.” “What are you trying to say Mother, what’s wrong?”
“It’s so hard for me to say this.” Without warning, the tears begin to stream down her face. She began to tell me, “I never thought I would have to say this.” I quickly replied, “Say what Mother?” “Your father and I are through; it’s over, I just can’t take it anymore. For the past few months, I’ve been wondering if I can this marriage work. I’ve been a good woman to your father, but he doesn’t treat me with respect. He puts everyone before me. When he’s on his business trips, I’ve been getting these strange calls, where a woman would call for him and laugh. She would ask for him, and before I could answer, she told me she knows where he is. “He’s with me,” she’d say, and laugh before she hangs up.” I had to stop her right there, “Mom, no way; that’s not my father. He’s not like that. He wouldn’t do that to you, or to us.” As she wiped her tears, she leaned in and kissed me on my forehead. “My poor baby, you’re so young and blinded by your father’s deception. This may be hard for you to believe, because you are so close to your father. A woman knows when her man is not doing right. You see I loved your father so much, that I shielded his cheating ways from the world. I made sure you didn’t find out, but a woman can only put us with so much. Your father is an amazing father and businessman, but a lousy husband.” “Look Mother, I don’t want you to think I’m taking sides, but this is a hard pill for me to swallow. I’m not saying you’re lying, but I know my father. If you want to convince me, I need to see some evidence. I mean, when would he have time, he’s a very busy man? He told me he’s asked you to come on business trips with him. Why would he invite you if he were meeting up with another woman? This is just too much for me to process; I’m tired and I’m not sure if I’m even hearing you right. I need to get some rest for class in the morning.” That’s when my mother decided to take a softer approach. “Okay, just promise me, you’ll never let a man play you or think he has the upper hand. Always stay one-step ahead. Never settle for what a man gives you or he will continue to treat you like shit.” “I won’t, good night Mother.” “Angela…” “I won’t; I promise I will make him respect me.” “I don’t know why I even bother; you don’t believe me, you just can’t see past your father’s money. You think I’m delusional. I might have had a few drinks, but I’m seeing everything clearly. You put your father up on this pedestal as if he’s God almighty, but when he falls off that pedestal, you’ll run right back to me, crying and sighing you wish you’d believed me.” Look Mother, I’m not saying you’re lying, I really don’t know what to believe.” All of a sudden, the phone rings and as my mother says hello, her facial expression changes, and then she screams. “Don’t call my fuckin’ house anymore.”
As I grabbed the phone from my mother, this woman’s voice is screaming, “Bitch, he’s my man; you might be married to him, but he knows where to get some good loving from.” That’s when my mother looked at me and said, “You see what I mean, but I’m the delusional one, right Angela?” “Mother, this doesn’t even seem right. If he is cheating and he’s with her, why would she call to tell you that? Why would he let her do that? A few minutes ago when I came in from spending time with my girls, his car was in the driveway. I heard you on the phone and I saw him in the bed sleeping. Maybe someone is just messing with you, trying to split y’all up.” “Like I said, you don’t know your father like you think you know him. He enjoys making me suffer; he enjoys making me look like the bad guy.” Mother just wouldn’t let it go. “Okay we’ll talk about this in the morning, I’m really tired. Good night, Mother.” I wrapped the covers around me and went to sleep. I paid that conversation with my mother no mind. That stress she was talking about earlier has her delusional. Maybe she just needs a vacation or some quality “me” time. When morning came, I got up and got dressed, to find out that my mother had already left and my father was rushing out the door. I ran to hug him, and I asked him is everything okay. He smiled and said, “Don’t worry about it princess, everything will be okay; now you just go and make me proud.” That delivery of advice arrived much too late, my parent’s situation bothered me. Someone wasn’t completely honest with me, and in the back of my mind, I didn’t want to address this situation. I was afraid if I did, then I would lose my parents. I tried to stay focused, but these newly discovered issues with my folks made me worry even more. I was extremely tired, how can I be sure that conversation really happened? I was there but I wasn’t there. After class, Natasha expressed her concerns for me. “Angela, it’s hard for me to just sit back and watch you go through whatever this is that you’re going through. All day you’ve been spaced out and distant; I’m worried about you. I’m not sure what’s going on, but you have to put it behind you and move forward. Your future is at stake and you can’t let simple things distract you.” “Simple things; Natasha you called my parent’s relationship a simple thing. Maybe you can’t understand, because your father walked out on you, but I have a family who loves me,” I yelled. “Fuck you Angela, fuck you. That was below the belt.” “I’m so sorry Natasha, it just came out; I would never say something like that purposely to hurt you. It’s just this situation has got my head messed up. I would never come at you like that; you’re my girl. This whole thing is just confusing. I talked to my father and he said my mother is the one that’s been acting funny; when I spoke with my mother, she says it’s him. She claims he’s cheating. I know I’m supposed to be this strong woman, but my family is my backbone and if their world is falling apart, how am I supposed to hold my world together?”
“It might not be my place to say anything, but Angela, sometimes folks just grow apart. Sometimes kids bind them together and after those kids are grown, they discover they don’t really have much in common. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but you can’t let it destroy your future. Your folks would want you to achieve your dreams.” “You’re right, but I just can’t picture them being apart. I thought me staying on campus would bring my folks closer together, and they would have more time for each other, but I guess I was wrong.” Natasha was right; I’m not going to worry about it. I’m glad I have her on my side when I needed to talk. I hugged Natasha because right now I really needed to feel a little love. I still believed my parent’s marriage could work; I couldn’t bear to see my parents with someone else besides each other. I thought that situation that I discussed with my mother was just her releasing her frustrations, but man, I was dead wrong.
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