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A G R E AT D AY IN THE MAKING

Wake up to the taste you love. Find it where you buy groceries. StarbucksÂŽ and the Starbucks logo are registered trademarks of Starbucks Corporation used under license by NestlĂŠ. Keurig, K-Cup, and the K logo are trademarks of Keurig Green Mountain, Inc., used with permission. Pike Place is a registered trademark of The Pike Place Market PDA, used under license.

04.2020

“I DON’T WANT TO BE JUST PART OF A MARVEL MOVIE; I WANT TO BE A MARVEL SUPERHERO.” —KUMAIL NANJIANI, p. 78

FEATURES On the cover: Kumail Nanjiani photographed by Emily Shur exclusively for Men’s Health. Styling by Ted Stafford. Set design by Andy Henbest/Art Dept. Grooming by Kim Verbeck/the Wall Group. Special effects by Arlene Martinez. Tailoring by Yelena Travkina. Production by Zach Crawford/Crawford & Co. Tank top by Calvin Klein Underwear; jeans by AG Adriano Goldschmied; Prospex watch by Seiko. This page: Tank top by Hanes.

78 KUMAIL NANJIANI CAN DO ANYTHING

How a nerdy coder on Silicon Valley bulked up for Marvel’s The Eternals—and what his transformation says about what it means to be a man in America. BY BRIAN RAFTERY

86 THIS IS 50!

The Big 5-0 used to mark the start of a long, easy coast into the sunset. But now more guys are stretching their peak years well beyond

PHOTOGRAPH BY EMILY SHUR

the half-century milestone. Meet 13 men who have cracked the code to staying young, strong, and vital. BY THE EDITORS OF MEN’S HEALTH

96 BEYOND BLOOD

Hemopure, a new kind of synthetic blood made from cow’s blood, mimics human red blood cells. It’s saved lives and could save more— if it can only earn approval from the FDA. BY BILL GIFFORD

102 WASTED! THE BUSY MAN’S GUIDE TO. . . Here’s how to stop wasting your time, your energy, your money, and your life. BY DAVID FERRY

106 SEX IN AMERICA 2020

They say millennials are having less sex and boomers are experimenting less, but our exclusive survey says otherwise: It’s a sexy time to be alive. BY JORDYN TAYLOR MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

THE 100 BEST FOODS FOR MEN

FEATURING: Pizza! Pasta! Pork rinds! (Plus lots of nonstaples, too.)

LIFE 33 The totally weird,

highly questionable, and wildly wonderful rise of hard seltzer.

36 Five fresh paths to a full head of hair.

38 We found your new favorite jeans.

46 The high-protein

lamb recipe you need now. Yes, lamb!

48 There’s only one

right way to make glorious grilled cheese.

53 Cool Dad: Bedtime

is nuts. Embrace the insanity, says Dan Levy.

54 When good guys

turn into bad drinkers.

56 Ask Her Anything:

She wants sexy pics, just not that kind of photo . . . right?

MIND

BODY

9 Real guys share the best things about being 50, our expert explains the (complicated) relationship between coffee and working out, and everything you’re pumped about this month.

17 Forge strength

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

with climber Nathaniel Coleman, who sprints . . . up walls.

20 Twenty-five minutes. Five moves. All sweat.

22 Workout shirts that don’t stink.

Now what?

24 6 A.M.: Rapper Big

62 The surprising ways

Sean describes how he gets big and lean.

to reduce money stress.

26 Why you’re suddenly allergic to everything.

64 Overcome toxic

shame from your past, rewrite your future.

28 Eat your way to a healthier heart.

30 The gadgets that’ll

actually help you sleep.

+ 112 And Another Thing! Unsung Podcasts

PHOTOGRAPH BY BOBBY DOHERT Y

Food styling: Michelle Gatton/Hello Artists

MH WORLD

59 We all have anxiety.

Richard Dorment

Jack Essig

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

SVP/PUBLISHING DIRECTOR

Jamie Prokell Creative Director

Chris Peel Executive Director, Hearst Men’s Group

EDITORIAL Ben Court, Mike Darling Executive Editors Ben Paynter Features Editor Jordyn Taylor, Spencer Dukoff Deputy Editors Marty Munson Health Director Paul Kita Senior Editor Ebenezer Samuel Fitness Director Brett Williams Associate Fitness Editor Melissa Matthews Health and Nutrition Writer Evan Romano Associate Editor Joshua St. Clair, Temi Adebowale Editorial Assistants

ADVERTISING SALES NEW YORK (212) 649-2000 Caryn Kesler Executive Director, Luxury Goods John Wattiker Executive Director, Fashion & Retail Doug Zimmerman Senior Grooming Director Kim Buonassisi Advertising Sales Director Joe Pennacchio Eastern Automotive Sales Director John Cipolla Integrated Account Director Brad Gettelfinger Sales Manager, Hearst Direct Media CHICAGO (312) 964-4900 Autumn Jenks, Justin Harris Midwest Sales Directors LOS ANGELES (310) 664-2801 Patti Lange Western Ad Director Anne Rethmeyer Group Sales Director, Auto SAN FRANCISCO (510) 508-9252 Andrew Kramer Kramer Media DETROIT (248) 614-6120 Marisa Stutz Detroit Automotive Director DALLAS (972) 533-8665 Patty Rudolph PR 4.0 Media

ART Leslie Xia Associate Art Director Eric Rosati Designer Sarah Leituala Design Assistant Matthew Montesano Digital Imaging Specialist HEARST VISUAL GROUP Alix Campbell Chief Visual Content Director Fabienne Le Roux Executive Visual Director Sally Berman Visual Director Justin O’Neill Visual Director Amy Wong Senior Visual Editor Sinikiwe Dhliwayo Associate Visual Editor Giancarlos Kunhardt Visual Assistant FASHION Ted Stafford Fashion Director Adam Mansuroglu Senior Style & Gear Editor COPY Janna Ojeda Assistant Managing Editor John Kenney Managing Copy Editor Alisa Cohen Barney Senior Copy Editor Connor Sears, David Fairhurst Assistant Copy Editors RESEARCH Jennifer Messimer Research Chief Darren Reidy Research Editor Nick Pachelli Assistant Research Editor CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Dan Harris, Garrett Munce, Lauren Larson, Michael Easter, Naomi Piercey VIDEO Dorenna Newton Executive Producer Tony Xie, Elyssa Aquino Video Producers Mariah Oxley Social Video Producer Ericka Paparella Associate Producer HEARST MEN’S FASHION GROUP Nick Sullivan Fashion Director Alfonso Fernández Navas Fashion Assistant MEN’S HEALTH INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS Australia, China, Croatia, Germany, Hungary, Italy, Japan, Korea, Latin America, Middle East, Netherlands, Poland, Portugal, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Spain, UK

Samantha Irwin General Manager, Hearst Men’s Group Karen Ferber Business Manager Paul Baumeister Research Director Alison Papalia Executive Director, Consumer Marketing Chris Hertwig Production Manager Aurelia Duke Finance Director Zoe Fritz, Toni Starrs, Jake Heffez, Annie Merrill, Erica Miller, Samantha Wolf, Olivia Zurawin Sales Assistants PUBLIC RELATIONS Nathan Christopher Public Relations Executive Director Lauren Doyle Associate Director, Public Relations MARKETING SERVICES Cameron Connors Executive Director, Head of Brand Strategy and Marketing Stephanie Block Integrated Marketing Director Jaclyn D’Andrea Marketing Coordinator Alison Brown Special Events Director Jana Nesbitt Gale Executive Creative Director Michael B. Sarpy Art Director CIRCULATION Rick Day VP, Strategy and Business Management PUBLISHED BY HEARST Steven R. Swartz President & Chief Executive Officer William R. Hearst III Chairman Frank A. Bennack, Jr. Executive Vice Chairman Mark E. Aldam Chief Operating Officer

MEET THE MEN’S HEALTH ADVISORY PANEL We know a lot about health and fitness, but we don’t know as much as the doctors, scientists, and trainers who keep us honest and up-to-date. BRAIN HEALTH: P. Murali Doraiswamy, M.D. David Perlmutter, M.D.

CARDIOLOGY: John Elefteriades, M.D. David Wolinsky, M.D.

DERMATOLOGY: Brian Capell, M.D., Ph.D. Adnan Nasir, M.D., Ph.D.

EMERGENCY MEDICINE: Jedidiah Ballard, D.O. Robert Glatter, M.D. Travis Stork, M.D.

ENDOCRINOLOGY: Sandeep Dhindsa, M.D.

EXERCISE SCIENCE: Martin Gibala, Ph.D. Mark Peterson, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.*D Brad Schoenfeld, Ph.D., C.S.C.S.

GASTROENTEROLOGY: Felice Schnoll-Sussman, M.D.

INTEGRATIVE HEALTH: Brenda Powell, M.D.

INTERNAL MEDICINE: Keith Roach, M.D.

MENTAL HEALTH: Thomas Joiner, Ph.D. Avi Klein, L.C.S.W. Drew Ramsey, M.D.

NUTRITION: Chris Mohr, Ph.D., R.D. Mike Roussell, Ph.D. Brian St. Pierre, R.D., C.S.C.S.

PAIN MEDICINE: Paul Christo, M.D., M.B.A.

HEARST MAGAZINES, INC. Troy Young President Kate Lewis Chief Content Officer Debi Chirichella Executive Vice President, Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer Catherine A. Bostron Secretary Gilbert C. Maurer, Mark F. Miller Publishing Consultants Simon Horne SVP, General Manager & Managing Director Asia & Russia Kim St. Clair Bodden SVP/Editorial & Brand Director Chloe O’Brien Deputy Brands Director Shelley Meeks Executive Director, Content Services

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS: Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H. Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D.

SLEEP MEDICINE: Mary Carskadon, M.D. W. Christopher Winter, M.D.

SPORTS MEDICINE: Michael Fredericson, M.D. Dan Giordano, D.P.T., C.S.C.S. Bill Hartman, P.T.

TRAINING:

HOW TO REACH US: Customer Service: To change your address, pay a bill, renew your subscription, and more, go online to menshealth.com/customer-service, email mhlcustserv@cdsfulfillment.com, or write Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500. Editorial offices: 300 W. 57th Street, New York, NY 10019. Feedback: mhletters@hearst .com. Licensing & Reprints: Contact Wyndell Hamilton, Wright’s Media, (281) 419-5725, ext. 152, hearst@wrightsmedia .com. Absolute satisfaction guaranteed. Scent-free subscription available on request. From time to time we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such mailings by postal mail, please send your current mailing label or exact copy to: Men’s Health, Mail Preference Center, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-0128. Men’s Health carries the latest health, fitness, and nutrition reporting to provide you with useful information about your health. But every body is different; individual diagnoses and treatments can come only from a health care practitioner. Printed in USA.

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Men’s Health is a registered trademark of Hearst Magazines Group, Inc.

Mike Boyle, M.Ed., A.T.C. Ben Bruno, C.F.S.C. Alwyn Cosgrove, C.S.C.S.*D David Jack David Otey, C.S.C.S. Don Saladino, NASM

UROLOGY: Elizabeth Kavaler, M.D. Larry Lipshultz, M.D.

WEIGHT LOSS: David Katz, M.D., M.P.H., FACPM, FACP Jeff Volek, Ph.D., R.D.

WORLD

BEHIN D THE SCEN ES W ITH THE EX PERTS, A DV ISORS, A N D R E A DERS W HO BR ING MEN’S HEA LTH TO LIFE.

You’ve been around long enough to know some things well, but you’re also aware enough to know w you don’t know everything.

Learning to live in the present.

@scott.a.dalke

@MichaelCzarnomski

The need for approval fell away. I earned this body, this mind, and this life. Itt took me 50 years tto realize that I can’t fix everything and that sometimes letting go is the best choice to be healthy. #50 @timothy_rios

Started watching my diet and working out 2 years or so ago so when I went around the sun for the 50th time I was and am in the best shape in my life!! 65 to 70 pounds gone and adding more muscle every day and never ever miss an issue of Men’s Health magazine!!! @patrick. powell.921

Finally understanding the lyrics to o “Daddy Cool.” @quique.coronado

Actually being able to imagine retirement as a real, attainable goal and not just some far-off notion. Hoping within the next 10–12 years. (I’m 55.)

YOU’RE JUST GETTING STARTED Brad Pitt, Keanu Reeves, and Will Smith all prove it: Turning 50 doesn’t mean losing your cool, your edge, or even your hair. We took to social to ask other 50-somethings to share the best thing about being 50. Millennials, take heart.

@roger.nance.18

Thatt my mind is sharper than it was w in my 30s and that my mind is sharper tha . . . @neil.dunford

That it’s not 60.. Yet. @gary.r.moore.14

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

WORLD

CALL & RESPONSE +

Rich took a fall recently—but this magazine still needed to be finished.

great doctors and an extremely patient and generous spouse, there the impossibility of the hours ahead

First things first— icing the injury and checking in on IG.

Q+A WITH THE E.I.C.

What INSPIRES you? —@rivermaskew

OPTIMISM. HARD WORK. An honest sweat. Kumail Nanjiani’s biceps. Lottery winners. The forever-young 50-somethings on pages 86 through 95. A really good joke. Weddings and graduations. A day without meetings. People. All kinds of people. People who are really, really good at something. People who believe in something, and stand for something, and endure trollery and harassment and badfaith BS to make themselves heard. People who sometimes wake up feeling that life is just impossible, and they get out of bed anyway. Life has felt sort of impossible for me lately. I broke my collarbone skiing a few weeks ago and underwent pretty extensive surgery to fix it, and while I’d heard that collarbone fractures were painful, I wasn’t ready for this level of hurt. Aleve and Advil and Tylenol don’t do much. Ditto opioids, which only made me foggy and mean. And even though I’m lucky enough to have good health insurance and

WHERE TO FIND US

We’re on all your favorite platforms.

I get out of bed, for three main reasons. I know I have no choice (kids need feeding, job needs doing). I know my pain is temporary and will one day be gone. And I know there are so many people who are dealing with so much worse—persistent, untreatable pain—yet who still summon the energy and courage to power through it with no end in sight. Given how widespread it is, chronic pain is an eerily silent epidemic. The CDC estimates that it impacts nearly one in five adults, and it’s been closely linked to poverty, unemployment, opioid abuse, and overdose. It kills thousands of Americans every year, some more directly than others: In a 2015 study, Princeton economists Anne Case and Angus Deaton found that a significant predictor of suicide is whether a person had reported being in great physical pain in the previous 24 hours. It’s the “pain yesterday” paradigm, and according to Case and Deaton, it’s “increasing among middle-aged Americans, and is accompanied by a substantial increase in suicides and deaths from drug and alcohol poisoning.” Chronic pain is a problem from hell with no easy explanations—experts have cited everything from obesity and persistent injury to depression and addiction—and no easy fixes, and millions of Americans struggle with it every day. Hopefully soon I won’t be one of them, and I’ll come back stronger and wiser. But until then and forever after, in one of those odd gifts that adversity sometimes brings, I’ll be inspired by their everyday strength, their living example that however lousy things might feel, nothing is really impossible.

Have a question for Rich? Tweet us at @MensHealthMag with the hashtag #AskMHRich and ask away.

ASK MEN’S HEALTH Q. Coffee always

makes me work out harder, but I know it dehydrates me, too. So what do I do? —ALAN, Kansas City, MO

It’s less about dehydration and more about timing. Studies show that you’d have to slam down about four cups of coffee quickly to put you at risk of dehydration. Even if you did that, exercise counteracts the diuretic effect of coffee by increasing your adrenaline, which in turn reduces the need to pee. All this said, caffeine is a stimulant with a long(ish) half-life, and if you’re working out in the late afternoon or later, you’re going to disrupt your sleep. If you go to bed around 10:00 P.M., drink your last cup before noon. —ERIC HELMS, PH.D., C.S.C.S., PNBA PROFESSIONALLY QUALIFIED BODYBUILDER

LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? Richard Dorment, Editor-in-Chief

Men’s Health looks even better on your front steps. Subscribe at subscribe.menshealth.com.

Follow, tweet, comment, like, respond, and tag us. You could be featured in MHWorld. Instagram & Twitter @menshealthmag

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

YouTube & Pinterest /menshealthmag

Facebook /menshealth

On the web menshealth.com

And send us your feedback at MHletters@hearst .com. Letters may be edited for length and clarity.

WORLD

#GOALS

MEANWHILE,

ON INSTAGRAM . . .

TRANSFOR-NATION!

Winter Soldier SEBASTIAN STAN melted Instagram with pics from his January/February cover shoot. Super props rolled in.

CHRISTOPHER RUGG STATS

@ImSebastianStan

Michelle Monaghan,

@michellemonaghan (Mission: Impossible and True Detective star) Damn brother!!

Paul Walter Hauser, @pwhauser (Richard Jewell star and Stan’s I, Tonya costar) Shouldn’t hafta wait this long for these pics.

Edgar Ramírez, @edgarramirez25 (American Crime Story star) I know firsthand how hard you work my friend, We’ve starved together! We’ve shredded together!

Drake Doremus,

AGE: 38 LOCATION:

Woodstock, GA

HOW A LONGTIME LIFTER (FINALLY) EMBRACED CARDIO TO DROP 100-PLUS POUNDS The Setback I grew up playing sports, which led to weight training. After college, I started to pull back from the gym, but I still ate like I was lifting. Within a couple of years, I weighed more than 300 pounds. I was still working an active construction job, but it was getting hard to avoid the numbers on the scale.

@drakedoremus (Stan’s director on Endings, Beginnings)

The Wake-up Call One day in 2016, I crossed 350 pounds. My doctors never saw any healthrelated issues with my size, but belts started to dig into my belly. My clothes began to look like parachutes. I was just tired of being fat.

The Food Liquid calories were the first thing to go—no more

energy drinks, no more soda. I examined my energy-burn rate using online calculators. My goal was to consume 2,500 calories a day and achieve a burn rate of 4,000 calories. For the next eight months, I ate high-protein breakfast sandwiches, a salad with ranch dressing for lunch, and chicken breast with vegetables for dinner. Eventually, I began to diversify my diet, incorporating ground turkey in place of beef and cooking more seafood, like shrimp and scallops, though chicken is still a mainstay.

The Fitness My occasional highweight-and-low-reps routine wasn’t cutting it. My trainer suggested HIIT at least three times a week. (I even started jumping

OCCUPATION:

Project manager BEFORE WEIGHT: 360 AFTER WEIGHT: 245

rope, albeit very carefully.) To increase my cardiovascular endurance even more, we started doing lifts at different intensities and durations. Later I added hot yoga, step, body pump, and RPM spin classes to my routine.

The Reward Aside from dropping ten jean sizes, one of the first things I noticed was my shoes. I used to tie knots off to the side of my shoes because my belly was in the way. Not anymore. For the past two years, I’ve happily maintained my weight. But the best part is how others see me. My 15-year-old nephew battled weight gain but watched my progress and started eating better, too. He’s since dropped 65 pounds!

Carter Smith (Stan). Courtesy Christopher Rugg (Rugg).

ag for Thank you @menshealthm b 2020 /Fe Jan r you on featuring me keep and try to e hav cover. Guess I’ll This was this up in the new year!? ots . . . sho te ori fav one of my all-time

PROMOTION

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WORLD

FUN WITH POLLING THE MEN’S HEALTH TWITTER POLL

James Bond never dies. He just gets recast. Daniel Craig reprises the role for his fifth and final time in No Time to Die (see what we mean?), out April 10. But just who, really, is the best Bond of all time? Our Twitter followers shook things up in this poll.

THIS MONTH IN THINGS YOU’RE

EXCITED ABOUT WHAT’S GOT YOUR BLOOD PUMPING IN THE SPORTS WORLD RIGHT NOW? Start of MLB season vs. end of NBA regular season vs. NHL playoffs

46.8%

23.7%

29.5%

MLB

NBA

NHL

Based on 889 Twitter responses to @MensHealthMag.

VAL KILMER AND TOM SELLECK ARE BOTH RELEASING MEMOIRS SOON. WHOSE LIFE STORY WOULD YOU RATHER READ?

31% Selleck’s

24.5% Kilmer’s

44.5%

Nah Based on 903 Twitter responses to @MensHealthMag.

36% COACHELLA STARTS ON APRIL 10. WHICH HEADLINER WOULD YOU DARE BRAVE THE CROWDS TO SEE? Rage Against the Machine vs. Travis Scott vs. Frank Ocean vs. who are these people?

Sean Connery

13.9%

53.4%

Roger Moore

Rage

13.6%

12.4% Travis

Who?

5.1% One of the others

Based on 1,871 responses to @MensHealthMag.

Based on 631 Twitter responses to @MensHealthMag.

THE BEST MEDICINE

Yes, our cover star, Kumail Nanjiani, packed on 15 pounds of muscle to play a literal superhero in Marvel’s The Eternals this fall. But guess what: Fit dudes can be funny, too (as he proves on page 78). So we wondered:

What’s the last thing that made you really crack up? 14

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Anthony Jeselnik’s Fire in the Maternity Ward. Perfect in every way. He practically ruined stand-up for everyone else. @TrenKillemAll

My brother-in-law trying to ride the pigs at the farm. Hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time when they bucked him off.

My dog’s b-day present @david. brice1

@ chris.massingill.184

Bill O’Brien being named Houston Texans GM— got a good chuckle out of that one.

The Sebastian Stan cheat day video from after his cover shoot for the January issue of MH

@travis.morin.52

@SameraYusuf

Getty Images (Connery, Craig, Moore, Brosnan, Dalton, Selleck, Kilmer, Rage Against the Machine, Ocean). Alamy (Scott).

44.9%

Daniel Craig

Don’t be the person that brings a veggie platter.

ALL THE ELECTROLYTESz

ZS UE GRA OR

GET MORE OUT OF ZERO.

BODY U. S. climber Nathaniel Coleman can reach the stop-clock atop the speed-climbing wall in less than seven seconds.

...........

25 MIN U TES + 5 MOV ES = FU LL-BODY M USCLE

............. SWEAT T-SHIRT CONTEST!

...............

BIG SE A N C A R R IES HIS 2019 R ESOLU TION IN TO 2020 M A K E THIS YOU R U LTIM ATE SLEEP Y E A R

........................

NEED FOR VERTICAL SPEED

Climbing will make its Olympic debut this summer, complete with a version of the sport that requires speed and oozes adrenaline—but lacks one thing climbers love. BY JOHN BURGMAN

YOU MAY have been rock climbing

before, but you’ve never done it the way Nathaniel Coleman is doing it right now at the Momentum Indoor Climbing gym in Salt Lake City. Coleman isn’t climbing so much as Spider-Manning his way up a 15-meter wall, all instinct and quick reflexes, just a few feet from the top in under six seconds. That’s where he coils his legs and leaps (yes, really), smacking the buzzer before falling backward to swing from his safety harness. Electric, right? Except Coleman, one of the United States’ finest competitive climbers, can’t stand it. “Speed

PHOTOGRAPHS BY PETER BOHLER

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

BODY

DON’T LOOK DOWN! If you want to climb any wall quickly, says Coleman, learn the route so well you never have to look at your feet. “Looking up and down will slow your time,” he says.

climbing is something I don’t like,” the 23-year-old says. “But sometimes you’ve got to do stuff that you don’t like.” Especially if that something can get you to Tokyo. Top climbers worldwide are learning to embrace the same attitude. Competitive climbing makes its Olympic debut this summer in Tokyo, with a format that combines three different disciplines into a single event. There are no medals for individual disciplines, though; athletes must compete in all three to have a shot at the combined climbing medal. Two of the disciplines are well-known. Lead climbing is what you’re most familiar with: You’re in a harness attached to a lead rope, attempting to scale a high wall filled with 18

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

a challenging blend of holds. Then there’s bouldering, which involves climbing without ropes or a harness on a shorter wall, with blends of holds called “problems.” The wild card for nearly everyone will be the third discipline, speed climbing, which is basically a vertical track meet. Two climbers line up in separate lanes, American Gladiator–style, then race 15 meters upward on a 5 percent inverted-grade wall, trying to reach the stopclock at the top first. Some athletes love the playground-style face-off. “It’s the most natural thing you can think of: Who gets to the top of the wall the fastest?” says six-time U. S. national speed-climbing medalist John Brosler, 22.

Technically, all three disciplines have you racing the clock. In the first two, you’re trying to climb as high as you can (lead climbing) or solve as many “problems” in the fewest moves (bouldering) before time expires. But depending on whom you ask, speed climbing’s emphasis on, well, speed (over tactics) is either a spectator-friendly evolution of climbing—or a bastardization of the sport. Blame Russia. In the 1940s, the Soviet Union prioritized speed in climbing competitions, and eventually the event joined the climbing World Cup circuit. In 2007, the International Federation of Sport Climbing (IFSC) established a standard for the speed-climbing course. The sport has grown in popularity since. It’s now contested in the U. S., too. Around the globe, many competitive climbers, like Coleman, aren’t hyped to race up walls on autopilot. Lead climbing and bouldering are arguably more popular with climbers because the routes always change, and they more closely mimic the feel of an outdoor climb. But speed climbing also “lacks the critical problem-solving element that makes rock climbing so special,” says Coleman. The best male speed climbers finish in less than seven seconds, and when the Olympic format was announced in 2016, Coleman’s performance in competition was nowhere near that. It wasn’t until he placed 31st in the speed portion of the combined format at the 2018 IFSC World Championships that he started focusing on speed. It takes “hundreds” of runs up the speed wall— memorizing footholds and handholds—before you get a feel for the wall, Coleman says. While most climbing emphasizes grip strength, speed climbing pushes you to develop leg strength. Brosler, a vert-racing specialist who just missed the overall Olympic cut, likens the training to soccer drills, which focus on footwork and athleticism. He regularly does 100-meter sprints and barbell squats. “Your legs are where all the power comes from,” Brosler says. “At the elite level, your arms just kind of steer you on your way up, and your legs are like the motor providing all the power and momentum.” In November, Coleman became the only U.S. male competitor to qualify for Tokyo, in part because he’d grown comfortable on the speed-climbing wall. Still

LICENSE TO SKILL! tall and lean, he’s added the power and dexterity necessary to scale the course in 6.728 seconds, 1.25 seconds off the world record. “I realized—I think everybody realized—that speed climbing is going to be this different beast,” says Coleman. That beast builds more than Olympic climbing ability. Speed climbing hones lower-body explosiveness, which can serve anyone well on the basketball court and in everyday life. Here’s how you can train for the speed wall.

Scaling the speed wall (or, uh, any wall!) takes total-body strength. Build it with these four moves (okay, three moves and one kids’ game) from Coleman and Brosler. BUILD YOUR BACK

WIDE-GRIP PULLUP Every climb is a series of miniature pullups. So do pullups with an extra-wide grip, building lat strength. Do 3 sets of 8 to 10 reps.

CRUSH YOUR CORE

TOES-TO-BAR Core strength is essential when you climb. Dead-hang from a pullup bar, arms straight, core and shoulder blades tight. Keeping your core tight, swing your legs up to touch the bar (and yes, it’s okay to swing a bit). Do 3 sets of 10 reps.

BUILD YOUR WHEELS

GOBLET SQUAT EDUCATE YOUR FEET (REALLY!)

HACKY SACK “You have to use some fast-twitch and slow-twitch muscles,” says Coleman. So grab a hacky sack and try to keep it going for three 30-second intervals. “It increases foot-eye coordination, which is becoming more and more important in competitive climbing.”

Leg power is key to any speed climb, so Brosler recommends the classic squat. Hold a kettlebell or dumbbell at your chest to add resistance and also build core strength. Do 3 sets of 10 to 12 reps.

Ben Mounsey-Wood (illustration)

WALL RISE! Are you in love with speed climbing’s light-speed pace? Great, says Coleman, but you should try all three variations of climbing. “Pursue what you are inspired by,” he says. “But it would be a damn shame to miss out on the other two disciplines.”

LEAD CLIMBING: You’ll learn fundamentals here, hooked into a harness, climbing 40 feet off the ground on unpredictable walls. “Lead climbing teaches you how to climb efficiently and calmly,” says Coleman.

BOULDERING: You’re 10 to 20 feet off the ground, not attached to a rope, a forearm endurance test that makes you stronger on lead walls. “Boulderers are in the best position to transition to speed climbing,” Coleman says.

SPEED CLIMBING: You’re in a pure sprint that prizes power. The downside: fewer mental challenges, according to Coleman. “Speed climbers have no hope of transitioning to the other two disciplines.” MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

BODY 25 MINUTES TO FIT!

Five Moves for

Total-Body Muscle Say you don’t have time to pick a muscle to train today. The fix: Train every single one of them in this 5-exercise, 25-minute routine that boosts your heart rate while building critical muscle. Do it 3 days a week, resting 1 day between sessions. BY JAY T. MARYNIAK, NASM, AND EBENEZER SAMUEL, C.S.C.S.

THE WORKOUT

(b)

Set a timer, then perform the exercises in order. Do four 1-minute intervals of each move, doing reps for 40 seconds, then resting for 20 seconds. Focus on form, even if it costs you a few reps each interval.

Elevated Plank Row

Get in plank position with your left forearm on a bench or a box. Your legs should be shoulder width apart. Grasp a dumbbell in your right hand; let your arm hang naturally. This is the start (a). Row the dumbbell toward your rib cage; keep your hips square to the floor as you do (b). Return to the start. That’s 1 rep. Switch sides every set.

(a) EB SAYS:

“It’ll be tempting to let your rowing-side hip shift upward. Battle that by actively squeezing your core and glutes as hard as you can.”

Glute Bridge Floor Press

Grooming: Josee Leduc/Honey Artists

Lie on your back holding medium-weight dumbbells directly over your shoulders, arms straight, feet near your butt. Tighten your abs and squeeze your glutes, raising your butt. This is the start. Bend at your elbows and shoulders, lowering the dumbbells until your elbows touch the floor; pause, then straighten your arms. That’s 1 rep.

SHORTS BY RHONE; SNEAKERS BY NEW BALANCE.

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

PHOTOGRAPHS BY GIACOMO FORTUNATO

YOUR MUSCLE MASTER

Ebenezer Samuel, C.S.C.S., Men’s Health fitness director, is a certified strength and conditioning expert who has trained with professional and Olympic athletes. (c)

FEATURED TRAINER Jay T. Maryniak, NASM, a type 1

diabetic, is a certified personal trainer and creator of the Functional Method online training program. He incorporates gymnastics, calisthenics, powerlifting, and kettlebell work into his workouts.

(a)

Reverse Lunge to Single-Arm Overhead Press

Stand with a dumbbell at your side in your right hand (a). Step your right foot back, placing your toes on the floor, and bend at your knees and hips, lowering your torso until your left thigh is parallel to the floor. Curl the dumbbell toward your chest (b), then press it overhead (c). Reverse the movements back to the start. That’s 1 rep. Switch sides every set. Struggling to press? Stop with the curl.

(b)

EB SAYS:

“Protect your lower back by continually refocusing on your abs, contracting them hard once you’ve lowered into the reverse lunge, and again right before you press overhead.”

Dumbbell Hollow-Body Flutter Kick

Lie on your back, arms straight, holding dumbbells above your shoulders. Press your lower back into the floor, tighten your abs, and lift your shoulder blades off the floor. Lift your straight legs a few inches off the floor. This is the start (a). Flutter your legs back and forth (b), raising the left a few inches as you lower the right, and vice versa.

EB SAYS:

“You must keep your shoulder blades off the floor. That’s what makes the hollow body worthwhile— and makes your abs cry after 40 seconds.”

(b)

(a)

Goblet Jump Squat

Stand holding a medium-weight dumbbell at your chest, feet shoulder width apart, shoulder blades squeezed, core tight. Bend at your knees and hips, lowering your torso until your thighs are nearly parallel to the floor (a). Stand explosively, squeezing your glutes and jumping a few inches off the floor (b). Land and immediately do another rep. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

BODY

Sweat T-Shirt Contest

Train hard and you’re going to break a sweat. Just ask your soggy, droopy, stanky gym shirt. Or better yet, don’t, and trade up for a moisture-wicking training shirt. Here’s one for every situation. BY ADAM MANSUROGLU AND EBENEZER SAMUEL, C.S.C.S.

BEST FOR ADVENTURE

BEST FOR HIIT

Whether you’re hiking or trail running, this tee has sun protection rated UPF 50+ and overlocking seam stitching to keep you covered but moving freely. $69; arcteryx.com

Stay dry and cool through burpees, sprints, and anything else, thanks to a design that uses targeted vents on the back and armpits to increase airflow as your body heat spikes. $50; nike.com

BEST FOR CARDIO

BEST FOR LIFTING

LULULEMON METAL VENT TECH SHORT SLEEVE 2.0

Polyester thread woven with spandex sets this versatile training shirt apart. It stays light even when soaked in perspiration, so aerobic workouts aren’t ever a drag. $78; lululemon.com

NIKE PRO AEROADAPT

LEORÊVER PERFORMANCE SHORT SLEEVE COMPRESSION

The microfiberspandex blend wicks away sweat and speeds evaporation, and the tapered fit binds to the body, flexing with you through everything from pullups to power cleans. $75; leorever.com

BEST FOR YOGA

BEST FOR RUNNING

The lightweight, stretchy recycled polyester gives it a slightly loose fit that’s perfect for all twists and bends, and its HeiQ Fresh Tech fabric treatment reduces body odor, even in the sauna of hotyoga sessions. $39; prana.com

This shirt has a racing stripe modeled after those on classic collegetrack singlets, plus lightweight mesh material for extra breathability. You’ll look faster and probably feel that way, too. $70; tracksmith.com

PRANA HARDESTY

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

TRACKSMITH VAN CORTLANDT TEE

PHOTOGRAPHS BY T YLER JOE

Grooming: Deepti Sadhwani

ARC’TERYX CORMAC CREW SS

Introducing

Get the app on your TV, phone or tablet.

The ofﬁcial home of Men’s Health on-demand workouts. Download Now for Exclusive Launch Pricing

MensHealth.com/AllOutApp

BODY

THE 6 A.M. WORKOUT W/

Big Sean Last year’s New Year’s resolution still fuels the rapper to muscle up to the morning. BY ANDREW HEFFERNAN, C.S.C.S.

IG SEAN is having a Zen moment.

It’s a bright morning at the multiplatinum rapper’s Beverly Hills mansion, and his trainer Jerry Ford, wearing a pair of focus mitts, is bouncing about. But for 30 seconds, Sean is silent, smiling at a five-foot-tall statue of Buddha that’s smiling back. Then he’s ready, training his eyes on Ford, raising his gloves, and throwing MMA punches, elbows, and knee strikes as crisply as he was spitting rhymes in his recording studio just hours earlier. “We’re in album mode right now,” Sean says during his next break, referring to his forthcoming release, rumored oft-broken New Year’s resto be titled Detroit II. That olution. “I wanted to boss means most workdays end at up my life,” he says. “I said, 4 A.M. Still, four mornings a Try this Sean-inspired ‘I’m changing my life and week, he’s in the backyard with circuit when you’re making it a habit.’ ” Ford. “You have to make it a pressed for time. The h a bit i nv ol v e d priority,” Sean adds. “This Do 3 rounds. ditching late-night junk is time to myself. That’s one • Wide-grip pullup, 15 reps fo o d for pr ot ei n-r ich thing I’ve realized I wasn’t get• Dumbbell bench meals and building four ting enough of.” press, 15 reps non negot ia ble week ly Sean arrived at that realiza• V-up, 15 reps workouts into a packed tion two years and 30 pounds schedule. He hired Ford ago, when he was a skinny with a strict edict: If Sean 125-pounder on the verge of depression. This despite having recorded tried to cancel a session and hadn’t “won two number-one albums. It was Febru- the lottery for a billion dollars,” Ford had ary 2018, around his 30th birthday, and, to get him out of bed. “I’ve held him to disconnected from friends and family, he that,” the trainer says. Sean loves the results. He’s 155 pounds inexplicably canceled a concert tour. Missnow, with chiseled abs and ripped arms, ing “clarity,” he started therapy. He reemerged later that year prepared and he’s gained what he calls “confidence to tackle any challenge. And on January 1, stamina” onstage. His lyrics typically leave 2019, he pushed that reinvention to the him little room for inhales, but interval next level by taking on the world’s most cardio has beefed up his lungs. “I find

BIG SEAN’S BODYWEIGHT BLAST

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Sean loves adding chains to his weight-room exercises. The chains swing and sway, forcing his core to stay active for every moment of every lift. Workouts like this one have helped him pack on 30 pounds since 2018.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY MERON MENGHISTAB

When Sean hired Jerry Ford, he told the trainer to never let him cancel a session (unless he’d won the lottery). Ford says Sean hasn’t missed a workout (or boxing session) since.

myself not running out of breath,” he says. “I get to deliver words closer to how they sound, as opposed to spitting them out.” Progress and variety keep him coming back. On this day, his warmup is MMA; other days, he’s hooping on his backyard court. Then the pair head to Sean’s garage gym, equipped with a cable machine, a dumbbell rack, medicine balls, a chinup station—and a poster of Terminator 2– era Arnold Schwarzenegger glowering over it all. “Were you even born when that movie came out?” an assistant asks Sean. “I was born in ’88!” the rapper yells. Then he turns his attention to the chain-loaded barbell before him, ripping through deadlift reps. Curls and bench presses follow, and an hour later he’s done with his workout. More to come tomorrow, though, because Sean believes training is the route to “more happiness, more money, and the best sex you could ever have,” adding, “If you want more, you need to do more.” And every so often, appreciate the Zen.

BETWEEN SETS Favorite cheat meal? Chipotle. I’ll have a salad with guac. I used to do cheese and sour cream, too. Go-to drink? Champagne is the drink of champions. Dream workout partners? The Rock and Kevin Hart. I know the Rock could beat my ass, but I want to see if Kevin Hart is for real. Preferred workout tune? I listen to music all day. When I work out, I like it quiet.

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

BODY

e e N E

Everyone’s suddenly allergic to something. Why, and why now? MH health reporter MATT JANCER suffered for three years straight so you don’t have to.

FELT FINE until my late 20s, and

then the mysterious symptoms struck. Almost overnight, I began to feel constantly tired, foggy, disoriented, and, well, stupid. Each spring, friends with allergies nodded in agreement, pointing out their own malaise, often along with sneezes and scratchy throats. That didn’t totally make sense to me, though, because I felt bad yearround. Could it be I’d developed allergies to something more permanent—like dust mites, ficus trees, or animal dander? It took me three years of research and tests to find the answer. But along the way, I learned something far more shocking. If you’re not like me, you could be someday, and you’ll have to work pretty hard to find the culprit. More people than ever are suffering from symptoms that could be the result of adult-onset allergies—or something worse. The World Allergy Organization reports that the prevalence of allergies has risen in industrialized countries over the past 50 years. In 2018 alone, more than 19 million adults in the U. S. were diagnosed with hay fever (known as allergic rhinitis), according to the CDC. Meng Chen, M.D., an allergist at Stanford University’s Sean N. Parker Center for Allergy and Asthma Research, says her office is seeing more cases each day. “It’s something I oftentimes hear from patients—‘I’ve never had allergies, and all of a sudden, I, an adult, have developed all of these allergies,’ ” she says. What the heck is going on? For one thing, the world is warming up, and that leads to longer allergy seasons— 26

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

as much as 27 days longer, according to the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America. Then there’s all the moving around we do—the average 30-year-old will have already moved about six times in their life. If some resident in your building has cats, or your new bedroom faces a field of sagebrush, you may develop a reaction you’ve never experienced before. For any allergy, the reason you get symptoms—whether they’re the visible ones like sneezing and watery eyes or the more internal ones like brain fog—is that your body produces antibodies to fight the allergen. Your antibodies, for some yet-to-be-understood reason, classify the molecules of what you just inhaled as pathogens and seek to destroy them. To do that, your immune system releases certain toxin-fighting chemicals, such as histamines, that kick off the allergic response. Even after the compound is gone, the antibodies hang out in your body like sentries, always on the lookout for its return. “Every time you’re exposed to that allergen, your immune system learns better and faster ways to attack it,” says Caroline Sokol, M.D., Ph.D., the principal investigator at Massachusetts General Hospital’s Center for Immunology and Inflammatory Diseases. Allergists don’t yet know why some people are affected by constant exposure to a potential allergen while others aren’t. It’s a biological false alarm. However, the rise of adult-onset allergies can be particularly vexing because sufferers had been fine for years. Or at least they appeared that way. “When people move to a new place, it usually takes at least

a couple of seasons [for the full-blown response] to develop,” says Dr. Chen. Let’s say you’re a lifelong Angeleno who moves to New York, where birch trees are everywhere. When spring rolls around, your immune system may respond to the new factor in the air. It takes a week or two to develop all the antibodies specific to each pollen. By the time those antibodies make it through your whole body, the irritant could be gone and symptoms won’t get a chance to show up, says Dr. Sokol. So you’ll have no idea you’ve been primed to launch an allergic response.

PHOTOGRAPH BY DANIELLE DALY

t ac K

Prop styling: Miako Katoh

That same thing will happen the next year, only more quickly, although you still might not see symptoms. “But you better believe that your body’s not going to forget about it in your third birch-pollen season,” says Dr. Sokol. “The next year, your allergy cells are primed for attack, and you are miserable from the first day of birch-pollen exposure to the last day.” This is also true for new exposures to pet dander, or foods that you eat on occasion. “Once that immune response starts, it can be hard to stop,” says Dr. Sokol.

DON’T JUST GRAB A TISSUE

Since it takes a while for the allergy to build up and hammer you, it can take a while to track down what’s driving it. You don’t have to know exactly which grass or tree is your nemesis—dosing up with OTC allergy medication can usually squelch symptoms. (See “Allergy Symptom S.O.S.,” below.) Another path, which I took, is to visit an allergist. I got tested for 46 different allergens, and all but one—a slight allergy to dust mites—came back negative. I decided to try OTC medications and rolled through a few, none of which had any effect whatsoever. After months of that, my allergist offered another diagnosis altogether: What I likely had was an almost-allergy. In some people, artificial fragrances create symptoms that mimic an allergic reaction, but they’re not actually allergies. I probably was hypersensitive to some manufactured scents and perfumes.

Allergies are an immune-system reaction to an organic substance, while synthetic-fragrance reactions are considered sensitivities, and they work differently. Instead of causing an immune-system response, the fragrance particles stick in your airways and irritate them, just like what would happen if you inhaled a plume of black pepper, says Dr. Sokol. Companies add scents to everything from trash bags to laundry detergent these days. At least 51 million adults also suffer because of it, according to a report in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine. That’s up 200 percent in the past decade. Unlike with allergies, there’s no test to narrow down which synthetic substance you’re sensitive to. And typical allergy treatments won’t do anything for you. But you can control these sensitivities: Today, I only buy products with packaging that explicitly says “100 percent natural” or “unscented.” For more-standard allergy sufferers, there are other ways to allergen-proof your life. There’s no magic fabric to help shed pollen or dander, so wear what you want, but when you come indoors, take off your shoes and put the clothes you’re not washing immediately in a sealed bin. Shower right away to get offending particles off your body, especially your hair. We can’t all control what we’re allergic to, but maybe you can do me and millions of others a favor and use unscented soap and shampoo. Bless you.

ALLERGY SYMPTOM S.O.S. If you know you have an allergy and not a fragrance sensitivity, these strategies (in addition to trying to avoid the allergen) will help you tame the itching, sneezing, and watery eyes for as long as you’re on the meds.

NASAL STEROID SPRAYS These sprays (including Flonase and Nasonex) counteract the inflammation and other symptoms you get when histamines flare up. Docs recommend that you try them first; they’re effective and tend to cause few side effects.

ANTIHISTAMINES These block some of the effects that histamines have during an allergic reaction. Benadryl was the original med, but newer, nonsedating antihistamines (like Claritin, Zyrtec, and Allegra) are preferred choices now. Sometimes docs recommend them in concert with nasal steroid sprays.

ALLERGY SHOTS AND PILLS Controlled amounts of the allergen are injected just below the skin, and your body learns to handle more and more of it. But the process requires diligence, patience, and likely weekly visits for three to five years. Researchers have recently developed tablets you can put under your tongue that do the same thing. The trouble is, they exist for only a few allergens right now. So if you don’t have a ragweed, grass, or dust-mite allergy, you’ll need another method.

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

BODY

He rt Superfoods— Ranked! First, we analyzed the research to determine which foods are most beneficial for reducing cardiovascular-disease risk. Then we looked at their price tags. And then we made a chart.

AMOUNT OF RESEARCH BEHIND IT

BY JULIE STEWART AND SONYA MAYNARD ALL THE FOODS ON this chart are good for your heart, but a few are worth calling out due to powerful nutrients and/or recent scientific studies.

B. A daily serving of nuts, particularly pistachios, can curb arteryclogging cholesterol and triglycerides, according to a new meta-analysis in The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Eat an ounce—about 49 kernels—per day. (That’s like a large handful.) C. Drinking one to three cups of coffee a day could reduce your risk of an irregular heart rhythm, suggests new research in the Journal of the American Heart Association. Credit coffee’s anti-inflammatory antioxidants, such as cafestol and chlorogenic acid. Not delicioussounding, admittedly, but scientifically effective!

A Salmon

Blueberries

Pomegranate juice

HOW MUCH IT COSTS PER SERVING

A. Salmon is the king of fish for heart health, thanks to its trove of omega-3 fatty acids. But it isn’t the only great fish in the sea. Sardines, trout, herring, and canned light tuna are also all excellent sources of omega-3’s. Eat at least a serving of any of them twice a week to net the heart-health benefits.

Red wine

Yogurt

Apples

B Nuts

Avocados

Citrus fruits Dark chocolate

Leafy greens

Olive oil

Coffee

Beans

Green tea

HOW GOOD IT REALLY IS FOR YOU

FALL NOT FOR FAKE MEAT “Faux-tein” companies like Beyond Meat and Impossible Foods sell their products under the guise that they’re healthier than real meat. This is marketing. There are no clinical studies yet on the effects of eating plant-based meat alternatives versus animal-protein products. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t eat faux-teins—just don’t eat them for your heart.

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

A recipe that merges texture and ﬂavor with

the subtle persuasion of a hammer

If you’re looking for an amazing way to prepare roasted vegetables, a shortcut to chopping walnuts using a hammer, or hundreds of recipes made with hearthealthy* California walnuts, visit walnuts.org.

Per one ounce serving. *California walnuts are certiﬁed by the American Heart Association.® Heart-Check food certiﬁcation does not apply to recipes unless expressly stated. See heartcheckmark.org/guidelines. Supportive but not conclusive research shows that eating 1.5 ounces of walnuts per day, as part of a low saturated fat and low cholesterol diet and not resulting in increased caloric intake, may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease. (FDA) One ounce of walnuts offers 18g of total fat, 2.5g of monounsaturated fat, 13g of polyunsaturated fat including 2.5g of alpha-linolenic acid – the plant-based omega-3.

So Simple. So Good.®

BODY SLEEP AWARDS 2020

Dream Team The better-sleep market has gone fully over the top. But do you really need to spend a lot just to get better rest? MH sleep expert W. Christopher Winter, M.D., helped us find the best sleep tech right now—at any price. BY ALICE OGLETHORPE

SAVE Fitbit Inspire HR

SLEEP TRACKERS

$100 > fitbit.com

SPLURGE <

The only data you need from a sleep tracker is how long you slept versus how long you tossed and turned. Fitbit’s Inspire HR provides that, and does it consistently enough that you can spot trends, like whether you sleep better on days you hit the gym. It also includes info about sleep stages, but feel free to ignore it, says Dr. Winter, because it’s not super precise and it’s hard to do anything about.

Withings ScanWatch $299 > withings.com (available this spring)

This wearable offers a blood-oxygen sensor to help determine if you’re at risk for sleep apnea, which can be life-threatening, as it’s a risk factor for stroke and cognitive problems. It also checks for A-fib, or irregular heartbeat, a feature that’s controversial among cardiologists, some of whom say it creates confusion and overtesting for perfectly healthy young people.

Ayo Light Therapy Glasses

CUSTOMIZED MATTRESSES

SLEEP LIGHTS

Brilli Get in Sync Circadian LEDs

$299 > goayo.com

from $35 > bebrilli.com The right kind of light can help you get to sleep at night (warm light, with no blue wavelengths) or feel wakeful in the morning (cool light, which signals your body to increase attention). Use these bulbs with a standard dimmer switch to get the right type of light at the right time.

This solid bar is meant to be worn like a pair of glasses, mostly in the morning. The temperature and brightness of the light signal to your body that it’s done sleeping, says Dr. Winter. Being in sync with the fact that it’s daytime helps you sleep better at night. It’s okay to slip these on for an afternoon pick-me-up, too, but put them away at sundown.

Bedgear M3

ReST Bed

$1,999 (queen size)> bedgear.com

from $4,999 (queen size) > restperformance.com

The proper mattress can improve your circulation (less soreness in the A.M.) and enhance your sleep quality. The ideal firmness differs for everyone, says Dr. Winter, so Bedgear divides the mattress in half. You can select from four options for each half. If you choose the wrong firmness, you can switch out the suspension unit for just $179 (for one side of a queen) instead of buying a whole new mattress.

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

This bed figures out your firmness needs for you. When you shift positions, the mattress’s sensors adjust the firmness to support the right spots. The ReST tracks 2,000 data points on each side of the bed. Dr. Winter says this innovation is worth a try if spending big doesn’t exhaust you.

STRESS LESS &

SLEEP

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

ÂŠ Procter & Gamble, Inc. 2019

Our drug-free formula includes Ashwagandha to help calm the mind and body, while an optimal melatonin level helps you nod off naturally with no next day grogginess.* Naturally Superior Sleep.

It’s Not JUST What You Eat. It’s WHEN You Eat.

Go to MensHealth.com/IFGuide to Learn More!

15751

The Ultimate Guide to Intermittent Fasting!

THE COOLEST DEN IM YOU N EED NOW

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CHEESE , THE R IGHT WAY

THE CH AOS A N D JOY OF BEDTIME

SE X TING, SIMPLIFIED

HARD SELTZER RULES

An honest toast to the low-calorie, low-ABV, vaguely healthful promise of America’s favorite new booze. BY SPENCER DUKOFF

N A SNOWY DAY in January, two representatives for Anheuser-Busch InBev gathered around a wooden table inside the company’s massive innovation brewery in Baldwinsville, a small town in upstate New York. Each swirled a tall glass fi lled with a modest pour of a then-still-top-secret new elixir. It wasn’t beer but rather something clearer and more effervescent, and the room had the overly serious vibe of a wine tasting. Dave Taylor, the burly, bald, goatee-sporting vice-president of supply for Anheuser, hoisted a glass,

PHOTOGRAPH BY BOBBY DOHERT Y

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

inspected the contents, and sipped. He smiled and encouraged me to do the same. Then Taylor popped more tall, skinny cans and kept pouring as he and Nick Offredi, the plant’s more suburban-dadlooking senior brewmaster, praised the “light, refreshing mango notes” of one and lemon-lime “crispness” of another. A third supposedly tasted like fresh “seedy” strawberries, while a fourth—black cherry—was meant to evoke the rich flavor of Black Forest cake. This was the sneak preview of Bud Light Seltzer, a low-calorie, low-ABV sparkling drink that’s basically spiked soda water. “It’s hard to explain what makes this different,” Taylor told me and a handful of early taste-testers about hard seltzer as a beverage. “People tend to be a little skeptical. But if they try it, they understand.” The Anheuser team confidently outlined how distinctive (and superior) Bud Light Seltzer was in comparison with its competitors. “You’re really looking for the nose to be juicy and true to the fruit,” Taylor added. Based on how quickly it disappeared from everyone’s glass, the result certainly seemed crushable. The drink is slightly sweet and refreshingly carbonated, and it goes down smooth without any syrupy aftertaste or boozy heat, although it tastes a lot like every other seltzer. By now you probably know all about what happened next: In mid-January, Bud Light Seltzer hit store shelves along with a great wave of marketing that included its own Super Bowl ad with Post Malone. Anheuser-Busch InBev is reportedly spending $100 million on the launch, roughly equivalent to New Mexico’s annual GDP. That’s a drop in the bucket compared with the total hardseltzer market, which passed the $1 billion mark in revenue in 2019 and was up more than 200 percent year over year just ahead of Bud Light Seltzer’s launch. Making hard seltzer isn’t very hard. Bud Light Seltzer’s process involves a 20-day fermentation using cane sugar and distilled water before moving on to the flavoring steps. (The average lager takes about a month to brew.) It’s designed to be sold cheaply, in large 34

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

quantities, meaning that to make money, these sellers have to convince you to drink an awful lot of it. So far, America is pretty thirsty: White Claw, the Chicago-based juggernaut, experienced a panic-among-thefaithful shortage in mid-2019. Its secret sauce is essentially a lower-calorie, less sweet cousin of Mike’s Hard Lemonade, also owned by parent company Mark Anthony Brands. And plenty of scrappier upstarts, along with others backed by Big Beer cash, are already in the game. Bud Light Seltzer’s commercials play into the idea that this booze is “unquestionably good.” But will guys go for that?

With any hot new cultural trend, more than a little skepticism is warranted. Remember Zima? In 1994, Coors bet big on that translucent “malternative,” pouring $38 million into a nationwide rollout. The marketing blitz worked in piquing consumers’ curiosity (the company estimated that 70 percent of regular drinkers tried Zima at least once), but Zima quickly tanked for two reasons: It tasted like crap, and it was maligned as innately feminine, scaring off nearly 50 percent of the population. Post-Zima, there was a significant shift in the alcohol industry, with traditional light lagers starting to slowly lose market share. The culprit? Even lighter or supposedly healthier beers like Michelob Ultra, which touted fewer calories and cashed in on the growing wellness trend. Then, in 2012, Nick Shields, a manager for a small beer brand, had an epiphany while sitting at a bar in Connecticut. He noticed that women were buying a disproportionate number of vodka sodas, which inspired him and his business partner, entrepreneur Dave Holmes, to develop a vodka-soda-like drink you could enjoy in a can. They called the finished product SpikedSeltzer, and it soon defined the playbook that eventual copycats like White Claw and Boston Beer Company’s Truly would follow

in an alcoholic-spritzer renaissance. Anheuser acquired SpikedSeltzer in 2016 and rebranded it as Bon & Viv, the beer giant’s first foray into hard seltzer. (It launched a second brand, Natural Light Seltzer, in 2019.) As beverage-industry analyst Rob McMillan says, seltzers have their own health halo, and there’s a generational shift at play, too. “The boomer’s idea of health meant ‘Don’t eat anything that’s bad for you,’ ” he says. “The younger consumer’s idea of health is ‘I’m only going to eat something that’s good for me.’ ” Hard seltzers lean into that idea by claiming to be low calorie, low sugar, low carb, and even gluten-free. Many flavors sound tropical (there’s arguably a beachfit association) and often vaguely medicinal or superfoody (like Arctic Summer’s Pineapple Pomelo, Truly’s Passion Fruit, and Bon & Viv’s Pear Elderflower). This is coming at a time when drinking culture itself is changing as well. Younger generations are less genderspecific about their identity, says Felicia Miller, Ph.D., the head of marketing studies at Marquette University. So whereas your choice of alcohol used to say a lot more about who you were as a person, today’s drinkers care less about which specific drink is in their hand, as long as it lubricates socializing. “It’s a prop,” says Miller about hard seltzers. “That’s the reason you see some really highly stylized packaging that doesn’t look like it fits on the same aisle as Bud Light and Miller Lite and Coors. They’ve created this hybrid product and product category, and that’s appealing to a broader range of consumers.” That includes men and women. And particularly tank-topped frat bros, many of whom seem to have embraced White Claw after comedian Trevor Wallace joked that there “ain’t no laws when you’re drinking Claws” in a YouTube sketch in mid-2019. That video has drawn 3.7 million views and spawned countless memes. Guys seeing other guys drink seltzer obviously gave them permission to try it themselves, Miller says. And although stats by gender are hard to come by, sales from the online alcohol marketplace Drizly show that hard seltzers beat

Food styling: Michelle Gatton/Hello Artists. Prop styling: Mat Cullen/Lalaland.

LIFE

MGM/Everett

out light lagers last year and are now sold evenly to both men and women.

eltThe first nationally available spiked seltven zer entered the marketplace nearly seven years ago, but beer sellers view Bud Light ght Seltzer’s arrival as a sort of tipping pointt. Steve Reale, a wholesaler with Northern Eagle Beverage, calls Bud Light Seltzer the second-biggest product launch he’s seen at the company. The first? That happened back in 1982 with a beer called, well, Bud Light. Despite all the rah-rah optimism, the specters of past industry failures linger in the background (and smell a little bit like Zima). Bud Light Seltzer may be well positioned to lead the next phase of the hard-seltzer phenomenon, but the trend still faces some obvious buzzkills. Despite hard seltzer’s promise of healthier imbibing, the sobering reality is that the annual death rate from overconsuming alcohol has doubled in the past two decades, according to a study published early this year in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research. Add to that the fact that consumers are broadly cutting back on the sauce. One in five drinkers is reportedly drinking less for health reasons, according to a 2019 report from trend-analysis firm Mintel. Experts say hard seltzer’s health halo is dubious at best. “There’s certainly nothing magical about hard seltzer,” says Chris Mohr, Ph.D., R.D., a Men’s Health nutrition advisor. At most, you might save yourself some carbs. Bud Light Seltzer and regular Budweiser both clock in at 5 percent ABV, but the seltzer has 45 fewer calories and nine fewer grams of carbs. That difference is pretty negligible—less than a slice of bread per drink. If Anheuser is banking on a more health-conscious consumer to switch from beer or bourbon or even Barolo to Bud Light Seltzer, it’ll have to hope that that consumer isn’t too curious about what’s inside the can. While hard seltzers do tend to have a short list of ingredients, most if not all contain those oh so vague “natural” flavors. When I asked Dave

Taylor in the Bud Light Seltzer tasting room to elaborate on what a natural flavor is, he responded, with a laugh, “That’s the kind of question that I have to be careful to answer without a lawyer in the room.” Plus, Bud Light Seltzer lacks those all-important X factors that burned Big Beer during this past decade’s craft-beer revolution: authenticity and a strong sense of place. Smaller producers are already getting in on the action. DC Brau, a respected Washington, D. C., craft brewery, recently launched Full Transparency, a line of four flavored hard seltzers. When it rolled out in November, CEO and cofounder Brandon Skall anticipated a bit of backlash from the craft community. Instead, the line has quickly become one of the brewery’s more successful releases. “A year and a half ago, this was a product that was seen as being marketed to females, or coupled with wellness and yoga,” Skall says. “But when we put out the press release, the articles came out with headlines like DC BRAU ENTERS THE BRO MARKET. I thought, How fascinating.”

And while Bud Light Seltzer is betting on the Summer of Hard Seltzer being endless, it’s still a little late to the game. The boom was, er, booming just fine without it. After my day at the Baldwinsville brewery, I swung into Syracuse for a nightcap. It was 10:00 P.M. on a (thirsty) Thursday, and my first stop was a well-recommended beer bar called the Blue Tusk. It was so slow that the bartender dealt me in for a round of poker; he also mentioned that they didn’t carry seltzer. I left, deflated, and decided to hit one last spot before calling it quits for the night. Al’s Wine & Whiskey Lounge was hopping, and though there didn’t seem to be much wine or whiskey being served up at the bar, half the patrons—an equal mix of college students—held the sort of familiar slim cans that Bud Light Seltzer now mimics. Summer appeared to have come early at Al’s. When a fit-looking guy shouldered up next to me and ordered another large round of Mango Claws for all his friends, I asked why he was drinking seltzer. His answer was simple. “Doesn’t everybody?” MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

GROOMING

EVERYDAY FIXES

LIFE

BY G A R R ET T M U NCE WHEN IT COMES to hair loss, there are two kinds of guys: the tiny fraction

who’ve maintained fullness, and the rest of us who, well, haven’t. Nearly two thirds of men exhibit signs of hair loss by the time they’re 35, and while there’s no shame in having a short crop, a few new alternatives promise convenient ways to keep what you have—and realistically gain more of it. Whether you’re thinning a little or closer to a cue ball, here’s the full spectrum of options.

WASH TO PROTECT “One of the big debates is whether washing will cause hair loss,” says dermatologist Marc Avram, M.D. Short answer: Nobody knows, but we do know that what you wash with could help. Old Spice’s Thickening System shampoo ($10) has biotin, which may promote hair growth. Using Bosley Pro Rejuvenating Scalp Scrub ($20) also improves fullness by removing dead skin. Just don’t overdo it: Once a week is enough.

FORTIFY YOUR DIET “Think of health as links in a chain,” says Richard Firshein, D.O., with inflammation potentially making thinning hair worse. But beware of supplements promising to regrow hair. Recent study reviews found that these supplements often had dosages of vitamins and minerals that were either ineffective or toxic. So eat foods that are high in antioxidants: fruits and vegetables.

CONSIDER MEDS Generic Rogaine (minoxidil) and Propecia (finasteride) often work. Same with Hims Hair Power Pack

PUT A CROWN ON IT

SHINE A LIGHT Low-level red-light therapy can help grow hair, and you don’t “have to put anything on your scalp that could irritate it,” Dr. Avram says. The treatment is safe, painless, and portable. Try a helmet device like the iRestore Professional System ($1,195) for 30 minutes every other day for six to eight months. It’s especially effective when combined with other treatments, he says.

Randy Lewis

INTENSE I N V E S TMENTS

without application and maintenance.

LIFE

Stretch Traveler jeans ($129) by Banana Republic; track jacket ($120) by Ben Sherman; sneakers ($198) by Michael Kors.

THE

2020 m i n e D GUIDE

The coolest ways to wear the best new jeans.

JEANS have always been the go-to, but lately they’ve been threat-

ened by innovative, super-stretchy, ultra-comfortable, sporty new pants. Now designers are applying some of those innovations to denim, crafting jeans that move and fit better than ever. Let KJ Apa—Archie Andrews on Riverdale—get you acquainted with the next generation of this American classic. BY ADAM MANSUROGLU

Styling: Ted Stafford. Grooming: Jamie Taylor/the Wall Group. Production: Zack Crawford/Crawford & Co. Jeffrey Westbrook (still lifes).

Selvage 2.0 DENIM HAS evolved considerably in the past hundred-plus years, yet denim aficionados still crave old-school, pricey, shuttle-loom-crafted selvage—the manufacturing technique of using a finished outseam to close the fabric’s raw edge. Originally called “self edge,” the selvage process creates a durable, polished denim. Now, with top brands like BLDWN incorporating stretch into their selvage offerings, these high-quality jeans are even more comfortable. Throw on your no-show socks, toss on a clean white sneaker, and cuff with confidence, thanks to this worthy wardrobe investment.

DARKNESS

Rising

Blues rule, but this season think even darker: the black denim jacket. Dress it up or dress it down; it has the versatility for everyday wear and the power to elevate any T-shirt or hoodie. Best of all, it looks great with even the darkest of blue jeans. Denim jacket ($198) by Levi’s; T-shirt ($48) by Velva Sheen; pants ($60) by Gap; sneakers ($225) by Levi’s x Air Jordan; Timex x GREATS Navi watch ($149) by Timex.

Jeans ($258) by BLDWN.

DENIM CROSSOVER:

Levi’s x New Balance 1300 Sneaker

Iconic is often the kind of buzzword that marketers abuse. Not here. Two classic American style brands—Levi’s and New Balance—have joined forces to create a sneaker that’s fashionable and cool. To celebrate the 35th anniversary of the NB 1300 silhouette, sneaker designers included the textural twist of Levi’s backpatch-colored suede and dark-indigo denim. And not just any denim—dead stock (artisanal fabric that’s no longer in production) from Cone Mills White Oak, the last of the great American denim mills, shuttered in 2017. Throwback style, without gimmicks, in a wearable version of American history. $200; levis.com

PHOTOGRAPHS BY KENNETH CAPPELLO

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

LIFE

ATHLETIC FIT Thick men used to have to wear oversize jeans and cinch at the belt, creating kangaroo crotch. Athletic cuts eliminate that pouch and fit burly glutes and thighs in a form-flattering way, ideal for the weekend warrior. Jeans ($80) by Gap; sweatshirt ($88) by Todd Snyder + Champion; sneakers ($160) by Jordan Brand.

SKINNY FIT Thanks to added stretch, you can still wear these tight-fitting, ultra-narrow jeans even if you’re not rail thin. Bonus: Everyone’s legs seem longer in skinny jeans, making them a secret style weapon for impressing a first date. Jeans ($68) by Everlane; T-shirt ($35) by Levi’s; sneakers ($50) by Converse.

SLIM STRAIGHT FIT Slimmer than regular-fit jeans, this cut best suits guys of varying shapes. It hugs your butt and thighs but is looser in the leg. In clean, dark-indigo denim, these fit the bill for sharp yet comfortable workwear. Jeans ($125) by Polo Ralph Lauren; shirt ($125) by Michael Kors; sneakers ($100) by Adidas Originals.

THREE FITS FOR

J APA IS A MAN IN FLIGHT.

He’s most at home in the air, upside down, or mid–karate kick—skinny-fit denim be damned. During the week, when filming episodes of The CW’s dark drama Riverdale in Vancouver, he shoots well into the night (all the better for those “Peach Pit in Twin Peaks” vibes) and follows it up in the gym every morning with costar Charles Melton (all the better for those shirtless scenes). On weekends, he flies back to Los Angeles and works out with trainer Alex Fine. While filming his latest movie, I Still Believe, the true story of Christianrock star Jeremy Camp, Apa found a kindred spirit in Camp, who was on set. “Every time we’d see each other, we’d be bouncing off the walls,” says Apa. “People would have to tell us to calm down.”

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

When it comes to style, Apa is just as frenetic. “I’m a very instinctual shopper, and very impulsive,” he says. “I’ll go out, I’ll see something, I don’t even try it on. I just buy it.” Bright colors, bold patterns, oversize comfort-first shapes—Apa dresses with the experimentation of the average 22-year-old but the assuredness of a 22-year-old with a few red-carpetready friends to guide him. His Riverdale costar Cole Sprouse “looked at me about two years ago, and he goes, ‘Bro, you need a stylist,’ ” recalls Apa. “I was showing up to red carpets in jeans and button-down T-shirts. And I realized, Yeah, I’ve got to get this sorted out.” (Lesson: Even everyday denim may not be for every day. Reader, take note.) With the help of stylist Warren Alfie Baker, who’s dressed Miles Teller and Lucas

Hedges, Apa began to feel more confident in dressing more formally. Now you’ll see him sporting rose-gold Zegna suits and going monochromatic, wearing a white suit with a white turtleneck and sneakers. “Confidence is everything,” says Apa. “Otherwise everyone can see you look uncomfortable, and it’s not a good look.” As Apa gears up to wrap another season of Riverdale and start promoting I Still Believe, he’s also feeling secure enough to let himself slow down a bit. “It’s important to give yourself balance, which is still something I’m trying to learn. Like, to work out hard for three weeks, take a week to chill. Otherwise, you burn yourself out, and I’ve experienced that,” says Apa. “But, I mean, look at Dwayne Johnson. He gets it done.” —Nojan Aminosharei

Opposite: Jeffrey Westbrook (still life)

Every Guy

BEYOND

Blue

Colors to level up your denim game.

Garment-dyed jeans ($118) by Flint and Tinder; T-shirt ($48) by Velva Sheen; boots ($300) by Red Wing Heritage; Carrera watch ($2,500) by TAG Heuer.

5. 1. Olive jeans ($40) by Uniqlo. 2. Burgundy jeans ($208) by Citizens of Humanity. 3. Gray jeans ($248) by J Brand. 4. Tan jeans ($99) by Polo Ralph Lauren. 5. Caramel jeans ($208) by Mother.

MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HEALTH

/ April 2020

LIFE

GO OUT ON A LAMB 30 10

Don’t let the exotic-sounding recipe name—Moroccan Lamb Stew—freak you out. “Moroccan” just means you throw in some exciting (though easy-to-find) spices. Plus, lamb is a powerhouse meat that provides more than 30 grams of muscle-building protein per serving. Add some chickpeas, onions, olives, and apricots for 10 grams of gut-filling fiber and you have the perfect no-hassle, slow-simmered end-of-winter warmer. BY PAUL KITA

3 0 G THE PROTEIN

1 0 G THE FIBER

One cup of cooked lamb roast serves up 30-plus grams of protein for 263 calories, which is comparable to beef. It’s also a good source of iron and vitamin B12, both of which help your muscles function.

C OOK IT

BU Y IT This recipe calls for “stew meat.” That basically means cubed pieces of meat from various parts of the animal. You could buy lamb roast, or lamb loin, or lamb chops. But then you’d have to remove the bones. Stew meat saves you time.

One serving of the lamb stew actually covers all your 30/10 needs. So consider these

Moroccan Lamb Stew

This recipe takes no longer to prepare than your usual pot of chili and tastes nothing like your usual pot of chili. WHAT YOU’LL NEED 2 2

TBSP CANOLA OIL LB CUBED LAMB STEW MEAT 2 GARLIC CLOVES, MINCED 1 LARGE YELLOW ONION, DICED 4 MEDIUM CARROTS, DICED 2 TSP GROUND CORIANDER 2 TSP GROUND CUMIN 1 CINNAMON STICK 1 15 OZ CAN CHICKPEAS, RINSED AND DRAINED 1 CUP DRIED APRICOTS, CHOPPED ½ CUP PIMENTO-STUFFED GREEN OLIVES 1 15 OZ CAN DICED TOMATOES 2 CUPS BEEF BROTH

UPGR A DE IT

1. In a large Dutch oven over mediumhigh heat, heat the oil. Add the lamb, season well with salt and pepper, and cook until well browned, 10 to 15 minutes. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towels to drain. 2. Add the garlic, onion, and carrots and saute until the onion softens, about 5 minutes. Add the coriander, cumin, and cinnamon stick. Cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.

Add the chickpeas, apricots, green olives, tomatoes (with their juices), reserved lamb, and beef broth. Bring to a boil over high heat, and then reduce the heat to medium low and simmer until the lamb is very tender, 60 to 90 minutes. Discard the cinnamon stick. Taste and adjust seasoning, if necessary. Feeds 6

into bite-sized pieces; add to a pot of boiling water. Cook till tender, about 10 minutes. Drain and cool. In a bowl, toss the potatoes with 2 Tbsp olive oil, 2 Tbsp harissa, and salt and pepper to taste. Refrigerate until cold. Top with ¼ cup chopped parsley. Serve. Feeds 4 Nutrition per serving: 174 calories, 3g protein, 27g carbs (2g fiber), 7g fat

NUTRITION PER SERVING: 495 cal-

ories, 38g protein, 46g carbs (10g fiber), 16g fat

If you have the extra time, here are three ways to elevate this recipe to extra-special status.

MINUTES

DAY

Food styling: Michelle Gatton/Hello Artists. Prop styling: Mat Cullen/Lalaland.

package instructions. Drain. In a large bowl, toss the quinoa, 1 tomato (diced), ½ English cucumber (diced), ¼ medium red onion (minced), the juice of ½ lemon, 2 Tbsp olive oil, and 2 Tbsp fresh cilantro (chopped). Season. Serve hot or cold. Feeds 4 Nutrition per serving: 230 calories, 7g protein, 30g carbs (4g fiber), 9g fat

PHOTOGRAPHS BY BOBBY DOHERT Y

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

T H E G R IL C H E E S E A D DL E D P O W E R R A N IT IO N K IN G S ! Crisped p ro THERE’S ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY . . .

. . . to Make Grilled Cheese

sciutto (+2 2%) Barbecue chips (+14 % ) Sliced ap ple (+2%) Pesto (-1% ) Nutella (-3 16%)

STEP 1 Pick this bread.

STEP 2 Choose this cheese.

STEP 3 Collect these tools.

STEP 4 Gather butter and mayo.

STEP 5 Go medium low on the heat.

Sourdough is ideal. It’s sturdy and slightly tangy. You want it sliced half an inch thick. Any thicker and you’ll create an impenetrable heat shield for the cheese you want to melt.

Sharp cheddar is glorious. It’s creamy and slightly funky. Like the bread, you want it sliced to half an inch. Any thicker and you’ll have half-melted cheese on burnt toast.

You’ll need a large cast-iron pan and a fish turner, which offers precision and sturdiness—two aspects that floppy rubber spatulas don’t have. Small pans hinder proper flipping.

Fat helps food taste amazing, and in the case of grilled cheese, two kinds of fat also ensure a super-crispy crust. We’re talking one tablespoon each of butter and mayo.

Melt the butter in the pan. Spread mayo on one side of each bread slice and place one mayo side down. Add cheese and the other slice, mayo side up. Grill till golden. Flip. Repeat. Eat.

PAU L KITA is the food and nutrition editor at Men’s Health. He is the author of two cookbooks, including his latest, A Man, A Pan, A Plan. 48

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

PHOTOGRAPH BY BOBBY DOHERT Y

Food styling: Michelle Gatton/Hello Artists. Prop styling: Mat Cullen/Lalaland.

Perfectly crispy golden-brown crust. Gooey, luscious melted cheese. Every. Time. BY PAUL KITA

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6-WEEK

SWEAT

OFF

15740

MensHealth.com/SweatOff

LIFE

GIVE THEM A SORT-OF CHOICE Presented with unlimited options, children will choose all of them. So recently my wife and I narrowed down those options with a (fun!) ultimatum: books or a game? Last night, for example, we played Guess Who?, which I highly recommend unless your daughter is like mine and loses her shit if she doesn’t get Maria as one of her characters. But don’t agree to more than one round of said game. My kids will negotiate like murder lawyers to get their way, so you have to be firm. Only one round. Okay, two. Fine, three, but that’s it. Four and we’re out!

COOL DAD

Bedtime, All the Time Negotiating every single freaking detail of how my kids go to sleep is frustrating, draining, migraineinducing, and also pretty amazing. BY DAN LEVY “BEDTIME” for my two kids isn’t actu-

ally a time. It’s more like a long window. Like Irishman long. For my wife and me, directors of this spectacle, the process starts around 5:45 P.M. and can last till 9:45 P.M. What could possibly take four hours, you wonder? That all depends on the night. A few weeks ago, my sevenyear-old son decided that he needed to eat again at 8:00, after already ingesting a full meal two hours earlier, because he had to feed his “growing legs.” My five-year-old daughter, by comparison, is hungry for knowledge and will ask me questions about the mall, her water bottle, or her brother’s growing legs. She also changes outfits, sometimes three or four times an evening, as if she were hosting the Oscars, only sometimes in pajamas. If my wife doesn’t fall asleep in the bed with our children, she emerges crying ILLUSTRATION BY BEN MOUNSEY-WOOD

that we have no time for ourselves. And so after months (okay, years) of this insanity, we decided to make some changes. BOMB THE BATHTUB! My kids will lie directly to my face and tell me that they’re clean even though I can actually see dirt under their fingernails, LOL Dolls stuck in their hair, and pinkeye growing in the corners of their eyelids. “We don’t need to bathe—we smell like honey,” they will argue. That is, until they discovered bath bombs. These colorful exploding soap balls fizzle and bubble and delight, and who is the sucker now, huh?? Important fact: Companies + sell CBD bath bombs. Dan Levy is a stand- Tempted as you may be up comedian to deploy those on your and the creator of children, resist and the new sitcom save them for yourself. Indebted on NBC.

BRUSH IN BED My kids are like Pookie from New Jack City, except their hookup of choice is Airheads. Little addicts that they are, they will manipulate those they love so they don’t have to get clean. In response to “It’s time to brush your teeth,” my children will scream, “I’m too tired! I can’t! My teeth are perfect!” So in order to make sure they’re not paying for tooth implants in their 20s, my wife and I let them brush their teeth in bed and spit into a cup. SOMETIMES! The strawberry-flavored toothpaste we have to clean from their sheets is a small price for peace. Plus, now we’ve tricked them into bed. STORY-TELL THEM GOODNIGHT Kids know how books end. There’s nothing for them to ponder. Stories leave them with something to chew on. Most of the ones I tell are about kids their age getting into trouble with the police. I know it’s strange, but they seem into this. They love to hear about me as a kid getting into trouble, e.g., breaking the attic ladder looking for my bag of ninja weapons that got taken away from me, cutting my finger open with one of my ninja weapons, that time I was a little older and drove my dad’s car through the garage. Should you follow similar story lines, beware. My son’s first-grade teacher last week told me she’d heard about the “ninja situation,” and it was hard to explain to the other parents at drop-off what the fuck he was talking about. So I nodded awkwardly, gave a quick “Hi-yah!” and ran to Starbucks. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

LIFE

YOU GUYS

Good Guy, Bad Drinker When booze is involved, you might not be as charming as you think you are, LAUREN LARSON writes. GOOD DRUNKS ARE ALL ALIKE; every

bad drunk is bad in his or her own way. I, for example, am a self-destructive bad drunk. I’m pleasant until my fourth drink, after which I can be found weeping in the street, wondering where my phone is. (I am also prone to gifting my personal effects to strangers.) Other drunks are bad in outwardfacing ways. They’re belligerent and defensive. They take their pants off at corporate events. They get “handsy.” Case in point: In August 2017, I was sitting at a bar with friends—I was preweepy, somewhere between drinks two and four—when I felt something on my right thigh. For a second I thought it was 54

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

my skirt bunching up, so I did a little wiggle to dislodge it. Then I realized the skirt-bunch was my friend’s hand. His thumb began stroking my thigh, unseen by the others, as the conversation carried on around us. I sat stock-still, horrified, until it went away. The fondling was completely irreconcilable with my friend’s sober persona, and I had no idea how to talk to him about it, or whether it was my responsibility to do so. I felt certain that if I brought it up, he’d say he didn’t remember. I was relieved, a year later, when he announced he’d decided to stop drinking; I still hadn’t gathered the courage to bring up the handcident. (I still haven’t, and we aren’t friends anymore.)

We all know men who are good guys when they’re sober—and not just “good guys,” but real paragons of sensitivity and selfawareness—yet become touchy, unaware pests when they drink. When someone behaves differently while drinking than they would behave sober, I usually assume the cause was a “lowering of inhibitions.” That’s definitely one shot in the cocktail of bad behavior. In 1995, two scientists reviewed existing research, then developed a model to explain why alcohol can compromise our behavioral standards. They found that even a belief in the disinhibiting effects of alcohol makes it more likely that alcohol will act as a disinhibitor. I remember taking one tiny sip of Jameson in high school and feeling suddenly emboldened to talk to my crush at a party. There’s no way that tiny sip had lowered my inhibitions on a chemical level, but I felt as if it had. And I acted as if it had. Earlier research suggested we might behave badly when we drink because we think we can attribute our behavior to the booze, or because social standards are more relaxed whenever we’re in situations where alcohol is present. (For the record: Blaming it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol is never a valid response to an accusation of unwelcome verbal or physical attention. Booze is to blame for bad behavior as much as a pizza is to blame for everything that follows after I, a lactose intolerant, eat it.) But there’s another, more insidious layer to drunk creepiness. In a 2001 study in Experimental and Clinical Psychopharmacology, researchers presented participants with a “date rape analog”— audio of a hypothetical hookup that slowly escalates to rape—and told them to press a button when they thought the woman wanted the man to stop making further sexual advances. Even at low levels of intoxication, men were more likely to rate the woman’s arousal higher, and to take significantly longer to press the button, compared with men who had not consumed alcohol. ILLUSTRATION BY NATHALIE LEES

YOUR EXPERT

Kyle Hilton (Larson)

In this column and on MensHealth .com, Lauren Larson writes about the evolving dynamics between men and women—from hooking up to . . . everything else.

Chemically, alcohol may trick you into thinking you’re engaged in amazing consensual flirtation, the same way weed tricks you into thinking you’re “an even better driver” when you’re high. You’re not. You’re simply too blissed-out to notice you just took off a parked car’s side mirror. Recently I’ve heard the phrase “nonverbal cues” a lot. It refers to the often-subtle clues people give off when they’re uncomfortable. I first heard the term two years ago, when Aziz Ansari was accused of sexual misconduct after a date. “You ignored clear nonverbal cues; you kept going with advances,” Ansari’s accuser texted him the day after their encounter. “You had to have noticed I was uncomfortable.” Nonverbal cues are difficult enough to interpret when you’re sober: Most people aren’t going to come right out and slap someone when they feel uneasy. They’re going to look at their feet. They’re going to cross their arms in front of them. And any hesitation to articulate discomfort can be magnified when a woman is drinking. For some people, even small amounts of alcohol make it much harder to pick up on and respond to those already-hard-to-detect signals. But you’re unlikely to know if you’re one of those people. I never confronted my friend about the handcident because it’s horrible to be the one to tell someone something bad about themselves. A friend informed me recently that he’d been “nominated” by a woman to talk to a mutual friend of theirs about his behavior. The woman said she’d heard of a few instances when the man made inappropriate jokes over drinks with female professional acquaintances. (In general, if you find yourself using the word girth in a professional setting, you’ve erred.) Everyone knew someone had to address the man’s missteps, but nobody wanted to do it; eventually that responsibility hot-potatoed to my friend. He dithered for a month trying to find a casual way

“

Everyone knew someone had to address the man’s missteps, but nobody wanted to do it.

to broach the subject. Finally, he just blurted it out: “Hey, uh . . .” The discussion was awkward, but ultimately his friend was glad to have been told. He’d really had no idea. So if you’re a friend of a creepy drunk, take a deep breath and talk to him. Friends tell friends when they chronically embarrass themselves. An intervention will feel much less tense if it comes from you, a concerned third party, than if it comes from me, an indignant gropee, or from his employer. And if you’re a person who drinks, ask your friends for feedback. If you wake up with blank interludes from the night before, text someone who was with you: “Did I do anything embarrassing last night?” If everyone is talking about how you made a slurred pass at a colleague, a good friend will let you know. I’m not one to tell anyone to stop drinking. I drink all the time, even though I know there’s a distinct possibility that after a few gin and tonics I’ll give my credit card to a stranger in the bar bathroom line. But if you do learn that you’re a creepy drunk, think about how that could affect your relationships, your career, and the women in your orbit. Think about whether those extra martinis (or any martinis) are worth the cost. If they’re

”

not, the decision to scale back—or even stop altogether—becomes much easier. (I should add that if you have been accused of creepiness, and especially if you’ve been accused of assault, quitting drinking is just the first of about 900 major life changes you need to make.) Fortunately, we’re living in a golden age of sobriety. In 2018, Americans drank nearly 27 million fewer cases of alcohol than the year before. Alcohol-free bars are popping up in cities across the country, albeit with more wholesome, sober grand openings. Heineken recently rolled out its first nonalcoholic beer, Heineken 0.0. Bitters and soda is the new tequila and soda. The so-called sober-curious movement has given problematic drunks an easy out. We should all be mindful that we’re no good at reading people when we’re drinking. That lack of social awareness can result in low-stakes annoyance— imagine your long-winded friend, two drinks in, unaware that everyone has lost interest in her miles-long complaint about the fi ling system at work. But it can also end in high-stakes disaster, like when my handsy pal couldn’t tell that his palm on my thigh was making me very uncomfortable. In that sense, there’s really no such thing as a good drunk. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

LIFE YOUR EXPERT

Naomi Piercey answers your questions about sex and relationships that Google can’t. Why, yes, this is our mascot from our big State of the American Penis feature last summer. He is still at it.

—ZACHARY, Boston, MA

If you’re a great kisser, she’s going to assume you’re great at other stuff, too. It shows you want intimacy in the bedroom, which many women crave. (It skills, which is a major plus!) You don’t need an upside-down Spider-Man maneuver to knock her socks off. During

MY FIANCÉE WANTS ME TO HELP HER PAY OFF HER STUDENT-LOAN DEBTS ONCE WE’RE MARRIED. AM I A JERK FOR FEELING LIKE IT SHOULDN’T BE MY RESPONSIBILITY?

peck, followed by a longer kiss;

—GREG, Austin, TX

cheek and neck. Use your free hand to slowly slide off her

sensitive area!—before

WHAT’S A NON-WEIRD WAY TO COMPLIMENT HER VAGINA? —BARRY, Houston, TX

pics, but what should I send her? I assume she doesn’t want a close-up of my junk. —PETER, Providence, RI

Correct! No junk pics, please. A simple shirtless photo will get the job done. Dim the lights, tug your waistband down in a teasing way (you can show pubes, as long as they’re manscaped), and take a few selfies until you like one—then delete the rest. I’m not opposed to a bathroommirror shot, but don’t forget to clear off the half-used tubes of toothpaste and sink clutter. That’s not what you want her focusing on. 56

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

masturbating, whether it’s in the shower or when she’s not at home. Honestly, as long as the habit isn’t getting in the way of your sex life—in other words, you still prefer partner sex to solo sex—she might even think it’s kind of hot.

I’m so glad you asked! We want our lady bits complimented just as much as the other parts of our body. Try some of these: “You feel unbelievable”; “You’re perfectly soft and tight at the same time”; “I could kiss this thing all day long”; “You taste amazing.” (Even if that last one is a little white lie, it’ll give her a confidence boost and ensure you get seconds of whatever she’s serving.) DOES MY WIFE KNOW THAT I MASTURBATE? AND IF NOT, DO I HAVE TO TELL HER? —JEFF, Jersey City, NJ

She knows. No, you don’t have to tell her. She almost definitely assumes you’re

You’re not a jerk, and it’s also not your responsibility. When you get married, you get to decide if you want to combine finances—there’s no rule that you have to take on each other’s preexisting debts. It’s going to be a letdown for her to hear that you don’t want to tackle this challenge with her, but make sure she knows you’re not abandoning her on an island of bills. Offer to help her make a budget or to visit a financial planner with her. Let her know you’re in this together, even if you’re spending your money separately. I’M NOT INTO GHOSTING. WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO LET HER KNOW THERE WON’T BE A SECOND DATE? —DALE, Seattle, WA

If you’re only one date in, a phone call or “it’s over” text is presumptuous—she might not want a second date, either. When (if!) she texts to see you again, send her a clear, simple response: “I don’t think it’s going to work out, but it was nice getting to know you last week.” Don’t apologize, don’t offer to be friends, don’t wish her a great weekend. She’ll get the message.

Levi Brown (phone screen). Kyle Hilton (Piercey).

WHAT’S THE EASIEST SEX MOVE THAT SAYS, “I’M GOOD IN BED”?

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SMARTEN-UP TO

SHRINK YOUR GUT

How To Drop Weight At Any Age BY CHRIS HANSEN

BEING A TRAINER, bodybuilder, and nutrition expert means that companies frequently send me their products and ask for my stamp of approval. Most of the time I dive into research, test the product out, and send the company honest feedback. Sometimes, however, I refuse to give the product a try, because frankly, the ingredients inside arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t real food. And Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d rather drink diesel fuel than torture my body with a chemical concoction. Like my father always said, â&#x20AC;&#x153;What you put inside your body always shows up on the outside.â&#x20AC;? One protein shake that I received, that will remain nameless, was touted as â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;the next big shakeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; but really had a list of gut destroying ingredients. Everywhere I read , VDZ KDUPIXO DUWLË&#x161;FLDO LQJUHGLHQWV DGGHG

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natural meal replacement that works and has a taste so good that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s addicting.â&#x20AC;? Being skeptical of what Zee told me, I decided to investigate this superfood shake called INVIGOR8. Turns out INVIGOR8 Superfood Shake has a near 5-star rating on Amazon. The creators are actual scientists and personal trainers who set out to create a complete meal replacement shake chocked full of superfoods thatâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;get thisâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;actually accelerate how quickly and easily you lose belly fat and builds even more lean, calorie burning muscle. We all know that the more muscle you build, the more calories you burn. The more IDW \RX PHOW DZD\ WKH PRUH GHË&#x161;QLWLRQ \RX get in your arms, pecs and abs. The makers of INVIGOR8 were deterPLQHG WR PDNH WKH Ë&#x161;UVW FRPSOHWH QDWXUDO non-GMO superfood shake that helps you lose fat and build lean muscle. The result is a shake that contains 100% grass-fed whey WKDW KDV D VXSHULRU QXWULHQW SURË&#x161;OH WR WKH grain-fed whey found in most shakes, metabolism boosting raw coconut oil, hormone free colostrum to promote a healthy immune V\VWHP 2PHJD ULFK FKLD DQG Ë&#x153;D[seeds, superfood greens like kale, spinach, broccoli, alfalfa, and chlorella, and clinically tested cognitive enhancers for improved mood and brain function. The company even went a step further by including a balance of pre and probiotics for regularity in optimal digestive health, and digestive enzymes so your body absorbs the high-caliber nutrition you get from INVIGOR8. While there are over 500 testimonials on Amazon about how INVIGOR8 â&#x20AC;&#x153;gave me more energy and staminaâ&#x20AC;? and â&#x20AC;&#x153;melts away abdominal fat like butter on a hot sidewalkâ&#x20AC;?, what really impressed me was how many customers raved about the taste. So I had to give it a try. :KHQ LW DUULYHG , JDYH LW WKH VQLË¤ WHVW Unlike most meal replacement shakes it smelled like whole food, not a chemical factory. So far so good. Still INVIGOR8 had to pass the most important test, the taste test. And INVIGOR8 was good. Better than good. I could see what Zee meant when he said his clients found the taste addicting. I also wanted to see if Invigor8 would help PH EXUQ WKDW ERG\ IDW ,ÂˇG WULHG WR VKDYH RË¤ IRU \HDUV WR DFKLHYH WRWDO GHË&#x161;QLWLRQ Just a few weeks later Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m pleased to say, shaving that last abdominal fat from my midsection wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just easy. It was delicious. Considering all the shakes Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve tried I can honestly say that the results Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve experienced from INVIGOR8 are nothing short of astonishing. $ FRPSDQ\ VSRNHVSHUVRQ FRQË&#x161;UPHG DQ H[FOXVLYH RË¤HU IRU 0HQÂˇV +HDOWK UHDGHUV if you order INVIGOR8 this month, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll UHFHLYH RË¤ \RXU Ë&#x161;UVW RUGHU E\ XVLQJ promo code â&#x20AC;&#x153;MENâ&#x20AC;? at checkout. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a rush to burn fat, restore lean muscle and boost your stamina and energy you can order INVIGOR8 today at Invigor8.com or by calling 1-800-958-3392.

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W HER E A R E YOU ON THE A N X IET Y SPECTRU M?

SU R PR ISING WAYS TO OV ERCOME MON EY STR ESS

R EW R ITE YOU R STORY: HOW TO R EFR A ME YOU R PAST TO BUILD A H A PPIER F U T U R E

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N T I E A X Y

TRAP

Sam Kaplan/Trunk Archive

As more patients seek treatment for anxiety, more doctors are prescribing pills. But what happens when a shortterm fix becomes a long-term problem? BY PETER ANDREY SMITH

I C H A E L T R A N A LWAY S

thought of himself as shy and a little anxious. But in 2012, he began having debilitating panic attacks. At the time, Tran was 19, a University of Maryland sophomore. He’d get tunnel vision. His heart rate would sky-

rocket. He’d lose the ability to walk, stand, or do much of anything. Tran stopped going to class and dropped out within a year. He eventually went to see a doctor. “I get really nervous,” he told his physician. “I can’t perform in front of people. I can’t . . . I get really bad anxiety driving.” MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

MIND

The visit lasted five minutes, and Tran

and Valium. Benzos work. Short-term, their effect in reducing anxiety is undeniable. But as boomers and millennials seek out pharmacological fi xes, doctors are now prescribing benzos in more than

Tran found an Internet forum called BenzoBuddies.org and learned about zolam, an antianxiety medication that is the Ashton Manual, a doctor- developed better known by its brand name: Xanax. guide to the workings of benzos with On half a milligram twice daily, Tran felt methods for tapering—gradually reduccomfortable going out. He made friends ing the total dose over a set period of time. like never before and even went skydiv100)—nearly triple the number of benWeb forums offered what physicians ing. “This is like a God drug,” Tran says. zos being dispensed in the mid-1990s. had not: validation and support. By 2018, Like Tran, nearly a third of all adults More than 48 million prescriptions were Tran came to believe that most doctors didn’t want to hear from patients who order at some point in their life, accordtreat chronic pain more than doubled wanted off, and so at his next visit, he ing to the National Institute of Mental between 2003 and 2015. asked for Valium, another benzo. Health. A recent American Psychiatric “Benzodiazepines are not At home, he used a volumetric a panacea for every twinge doser to reduce his medicine of Americans reported feeling more anxof anxiety,” says Timothy by 10 percent every week. ious than they did one year earlier. And J. Wiegand, M.D., a medThe withdrawal left him that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Anxical toxicologist at the with constant severe nerve OF AMERICANS ARE iety motivates us to solve problems and University of Rochester. pain, as if his spinal cord MORE ANXIOUS THAN take care of business, and it can boost They’re habit-forming. had been plugged into an THEY WERE THIS productivity. But when the frequency, The medications come with a TIME LAST YEAR. intensity, or duration of symptoms interhigh risk of overdose, especially withdrawal are lasting. He found rupts your life, it can become pathologit difficult to go outside, and the world ical anxiety. Persistent. Nightmarish. hol, or in patients with breathing probMental-health experts now recognize lems or sleep apnea. Chronic use can Tran were observing himself from outanxiety—the umbrella term that includes lead to neurological changes, resulting side his body. social anxiety and PTSD—as a legitimate in mental cloudiness or loss of coordinaAt Dr. Lembke’s clinic at Stanford, brain disorder, sharing some of the same tion. Several studies have reported that about half the patients she sees are underpinnings as depression. long-term use and high doses can acceldeprescribing, wanting to stop taking “People are more ready to have a medierate the onset of dementia. Because it’s medication that was given for a legitical diagnosis to describe their suffering,” extremely difficult to stop taking them, says Anna Lembke, M.D., a psychiatrist a short-term bid to relieve anxiety can, high-functioning people who were prefor some patients, unwittingly turn into scribed small doses of benzodiazepines modern phenomenon of people being a vicious cycle. more anxious than they used to be.” The For Tran, things started to unravel difficult to stop.” Some people take 18 to uptick in diagnoses may have to do as he built up a tolerance. The 24 months to taper down, she says. “And effects of his medication wore that’s with a lot of psychological support stress combined with the and other treatments.” pressures of social media irritable between doses. Alex Smith, a 33-year-old lawyer in and hustle culture. Plus, By 2017, he was spending Des Moines, learned firsthand that not all the eroding stigma around less time thinking about health-care providers recognize fatigue, OF U.S. ADULTS WILL mental illness means more his ambitions and more full-body tremors, or even other, more EXPERIENCE AN ANXIpeople feel comfortable ETY DISORDER IN THEIR time worrying about his obvious symptoms of benzo withdrawal. talking about their anxiety. next dose. His memory and He’s had three seizures. Only after the Many of us want quick fi xes. cognition sputtered. Still, he third one, he says, in September 2019, Several online start-ups offer meds thought, being medicated felt for social and performance anxiety, better than any debilitating anxdelivering beta-blockers right to your iety. It would be another year before to be alive,” he says. Smith does not crave he finally said to himself, Being tranhis meds. Since he doesn’t have a strong antidepressants, particularly serotoquilized 24/7 is no way to live. I’d rather nergic agents such as selective serotonin suffer through the hard parts. in abstaining, he doesn’t meet the formal reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), as a firstcriteria for addiction. This is a subtle but important distinction: Support groups prescribed pills are the benzodiazepines, or benzos, which have been around since key was not an option; the abrupt disconered an active drug user. Had he known it the 1960s and include Xanax, Ativan, tinuation of benzos can lead to seizures. 60

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Gregory Reid/Gallery Stock

31%

the medication, he says, “I would have never taken it to begin with.” Another issue is that most physicians receive more training on prescribing

recommend SSRIs, like Prozac and Zoloft, although these can require two to four weeks, or longer, to take effect. Stefan Hofmann, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Boston University, recthem. Christy Huff, M.D., a cardiologist ommends keeping an open mind about and the director of the Benzodiazepine nonpharmacological treatments. Try Information Coalition, says doctors— psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavherself included—can be in the dark ioral therapy, he says. “It works for many about potentially life-altering risks. Dr. people, and the potential adverse effects Huff was prescribed benzos for insomare considerably smaller compared to nia and says withdrawal was the worst many of the pharmacotherapies.” Still, experience of her life. She suffered panic not all alternative therapies are created equal. Hypnosis and yoga are promising, (the inability to stay still). Having been but more research is needed. Despite the off the medication for a year, she now has hype around CBD—the nonpsychoactive to contend with lasting neurological damingredient in marijuana—and mobile age. The emergence of patient-led groups, health apps, neither has much scientific she says, speaks to a greater unmet need: support. For her part, Dr. Lembke rec“People definitely need more answers ommends exposure therapy, a specific than are being provided by doctors.” Her type of psychotherapy in which patients coalition was created to inform patients. expose themselves to the source of their Other experts make similar observaanxiety. It takes considerable time and tions. “People are finding out that, you effort to see benefits but “builds mental know, traditional Western medicine is calluses that last a lifetime,” she says. not always the place to get the best treatSince May 2019, Tran has been off benment,” says Dr. Lembke. zos. Once a month, he sees a therapist Now health start-ups appear to be to focus on cognitive behavioral techtapping into a subset of customers who niques. He’s learned the 4-7-8 breathing method (breathe in for a 4-count, hold it providers Kick and Hims don’t sell confor a 7-count, and exhale for an 8-count), which has helped ease tense situations do sell a drug called propranolol. (Pricthat might have otherwise induced a ing varies, although both offer a virtual panic attack. And he does mindfulness meditation daily. Like some patients pills for less than $100.) Propranowho’ve successfully tapered, Tran lol, a beta-blocker, slows down still feels anxious and still experiences the residual effects pressure. Short-term use of of withdrawal. To alleviate the drug for performance them, he uses many methanxiety and social phobias ods he first learned about MILLION is legal and permissible. By online, and there are times PRESCRIPTIONS ARE some estimates, millions when he climbs into bed, WRITTEN EACH YEAR of prescriptions for betapulls up a 17-pound weighted FOR XANAX. blockers are written for the blanket, and puts on noisetreatment of anxiety, but it’s considcanceling headphones. ered an off-label use since these medicaLife feels better now—harder, he says, tions are cleared primarily for cardiac but also more rewarding. If he could start purposes by the FDA. treatment all over again, Tran wouldn’t When taken for less than two weeks, visit a general practitioner. “I would defibenzos remain an evidence-based option nitely go talk to either a psychologist, a for treating panic disorder, social anxipsychiatrist, someone who is more specialized in this field,” he says. “If I could go back now, I would try to avoid medicaor serotonergic agents fail. Clinicians tion. That’s my biggest regret.”

THE ANXIETY “Anytime medication is considered at any phase to treat anxiety, ask questions,” says psychiatrist Gregory Scott Brown, M.D. Ask: How long should I be on this medication? What’s the intended effect? Is it addictive? Use the chart below to plot a sustainable path forward.

SITUATIONAL ANXIETY SYMPTOMS: Pounding heart, shaky voice.

R X: Take a beta-blocker right before public speaking, a job interview, or another nonrecurring anxietyproducing situation.

MILD ANXIETY SYMPTOMS: Racing thoughts, heart palpitations, excessive worrying, tension in your body.

R X: Have a doctor rule out underlying causes like hyperthyroidism; practice meditation using an app like Headspace, and consider yoga; try cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

MODERATE ANXIETY SYMPTOMS: Skipping work or finding it hard to complete routine tasks, beginning to fight with your partner frequently, spending less time with friends and family because interactions make you anxious.

R X: Practice CBT and mindfulness meditation; talk to a psychiatrist about an SSRI (such as Celexa, Zoloft, or Prozac) or SNRI (such as Cymbalta).

SEVERE ANXIETY SYMPTOMS: Inability to go to work or leave the house, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts.

R X: Explore benzodiazepines in addition to SSRIs/SNRIs; get help for drugs and alcohol; use CBT and meditation; consider a short-term stay at a mental-health treatment facility.

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

MIND

Put Worry in Its Place

Six Ways to Fix Your Money Mood To conquer money stress, you have to change the way you think about money. Why is that so hard? BY MARKHAM HEID

F YOU’RE LIKE THE AVER AGE GUY,

you’re probably worried about money right now. Not because you don’t have a roof over your head or food in your stomach or even a job to go to tomorrow—chances are you do—but because you’re an average guy. We worry about money. That’s what we do. That’s the conclusion of the American Psychological Association’s recent Stress in America report: 60 percent of people in the U. S. say money is a significant source of stress. While most guys likely assume these worries would fade if they could only add another zero or two to their bank balance, research suggests otherwise: A 2018 Purdue University study found that measures of happiness tend to plateau—or even fall— once a man’s annual income reaches the $65,000 to $105,000 range. “The issue isn’t that we don’t have enough money—it’s how we think about money,” says Joshua Becker, author of The Minimalist Home. “We’re looking for money to provide 62

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

us something it can’t provide.” If you’ve achieved financial stability, Becker says, there’s almost no evidence that increasing your income will lower your stress. Blame a concept known as the hedonic treadmill. Hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure, and researchers have consistently discovered that when something in a man’s life changes for the better—his income goes up, he splurges on a fancy watch or flashy ride— his level of happiness generally spikes briefly but returns to baseline. You’re on that treadmill. In other words, your brain adapts to new circumstances and then goes back to its previous patterns of anxiousness. Social media and algorithm marketing are accelerating that feedback loop. “When we arrive at that next income level and find we’re not any more secure or happy than we were before, we start all over again,” says Becker. To escape this predicament, you need to adjust how you view, spend, and save your hard-earned dough.

One in three millennials loses sleep over their finances, according to a survey from Varo Money. For a lot of guys, Becker says, those middle-of-the-night fears fixate on the future and whether your bankroll will meet your needs—either in the near term or at retirement. It’s scary: Experts estimate that to retire at 65 you will need between $1 million and $2.5 million in savings (depending on inflation and your lifestyle). Future-focused money anxiety is toxic. It can make you miserable now, and unless it’s spurring you to save more of your cash, it does nothing to pad your retirement fund. To stamp out this kind of unproductive money angst, set aside a specific time each day or week to go over your concerns, says Robert Leahy, Ph.D., a clinical professor of psychology in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College. “This is a widely used therapeutic technique, and it can help one from being barraged by intrusive worries,” he says. Take that time to think through your issues and develop ways to address them—whether that means putting more into your retirement account or analyzing your credit-card statements for saving opportunities. Give your brain time during the day to confront the sources of its money woes and you’ll find fewer worries waiting for you when you climb into bed each night. (If you wake up in a cold sweat, jot down your concerns in a notebook and tackle them the next day.)

ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN W. TOMAC

Spend Money on Adventure You’ve got $250 to burn. Will you drop it on a new experience— say, tickets to a play or dinner out with friends? Or will you opt for a new pair of jeans or some other possession you can use more than once? If you pick the jeans, you may need to rethink your purchase decisions. That’s the lesson from a Cornell University paper on consumer spending and wellbeing. “Experiential purchases— concerts you attend, meals with friends, places you travel to— these are more reflective of one’s identity and sense of self than material purchases,” says Amit Kumar, Ph.D., a coauthor of the paper and an assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Kumar says experiences—even small and inexpensive ones— become part of the personal narrative you tell yourself and others. Enhancing this story with these types of purchases promotes mental well-being, he says. Even better: If you’re feeling stressed, spending about 15 minutes recalling a happy event can keep the level of the stress hormone cortisol from rising, thereby dampening the body’s stress response, according to Rutgers University researchers.

Upgrade What Matters The average man’s income will rise steadily as he ages out of his 20s and will peak in his late 40s, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. While kids will suck up a great deal of that extra cash, many men blow their additional income on upgraded goods that do little to upgrade their lives. Before making a big purchase, ask if what you’re indulging in will actually improve your life, says Leaf Van Boven, Ph.D., a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the University of Colorado. Of course, you need to make room for self-care and enjoyment, whether that comes from limited-edition sneakers or omakase sushi. But to resist the urge to constantly splurge on the latest and greatest, Van Boven says, “write down two or three things you most want to be remembered for”—your work ethic, for instance, or your willingness to be there when a friend needs you. Then see if the way you’re spending aligns with those things.

Aim for Meaning, Not Greater Means

Give Away Your Time and Money

Many men anchor their financial goals or savings targets to abstract numbers (“I need to earn $x”) rather than to actual monetary needs (“I only need $x to live”). This can lead them to chase cash instead of things that give them a sense of fulfillment. “Prioritizing the acquisition of money makes people unhappy,” says Ian Robertson, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Trinity College Dublin. “More” is not a finish line you can ever cross. He recommends putting greater emphasis on worthwhile goals. Florida State research shows that people who perceive life as more meaningful report less stress than those who find it meaningless.

It sounds corny, but devoting time to helping people combats daily stress. That’s the finding of a study from the University of Massachusetts linking volunteering to a drop in cortisol levels. Giving back to others, especially those in need, can help restore a healthy sense of perspective. And a study from Harvard Business School determined that volunteering and other philanthropic behaviors promote happiness. Donate money—even just $5 a month, or whatever you can afford—to charity. It can help shift your mind-set away from “I need more” to “ Wait, I really do have enough,” says Becker.

Stash $20 a Week in a Savings Account Roughly seven out of ten American adults don’t have $1,000 set aside in a savings account, according to an annual survey from the site GOBankingRates. Even if that’s not you, it’s a sobering stat: That’s just $20 a week for a year, an amount you can probably put away without your lifestyle taking a hit. Doing so can help you habitualize saving money. Your annual savings goal in order to retire at 65—according to analysis by Boston College’s Center for Retirement Research—should be 10 percent of your yearly income if you’re under 35, rising to 15 percent if you’re 35 or older. The sooner you teach yourself to save painlessly, the sooner your money anxieties will abate. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

MIND

How to Change

Your Story For a third of my life, I lived in an endless replay of the story of how I never measured up—a loop that kept me locked in a spiral of shame and meaningless hustling. Then I got the nudge to do some fact-checking. BY SEAN HOTCHKISS

H E N I WAS FIVE , my parent s d ivorced. Shor t ly after, my father met Sandy, first at a cocktail party and then again at a tennis league for single 30-somethings around Portland, Maine. She was brilliant, anxious, fast-talking, and from old Chicago money. They were engaged within two years. Sandy was a perfectionist and held us, her family, to the same standards. She placed yellow Post-it to-do lists around the house, sent my new stepbrother and me to etiquette classes (our dog wasn’t spared, either), and could cut me to shreds with a single remark and gesture to my father: “He’s wearing that?” I understand now that if Sandy was hard on us, she was even harder on her64

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

self. But when my mother dropped me off for the weekend, I’d hide out in the garage to avoid facing her. At dinner, I’d fi x my eyes on the floor. I saw my father’s growing affection for my stepbrother and wondered, “What the hell is wrong with me?” We all have stories in our histories we’re holding on to—tragic plotlines that seem to run through everything we do. I’ll never find true love. I’ll never be a success. I’ll never get past what happened to me. The more we believe them, the more our prophecies seem to self-fulfi ll. And let’s be clear: My initial trauma wasn’t all that tragic. There’s a generic mildness to it that survivors of all kinds of harsher abuse or tragedy might resent. But the story that Sandy had seen some fatal flaw in me ran deep. I believed I was

inherently bad and inferior, that nothing about me was okay. Author and self-help guru John Bradshaw calls this condition “toxic shame,” the feeling that no matter what we do, we’re wrong. And it doesn’t take a five-alarm altercation or hellacious abuse for it to start festering. To cover up, I went out into the world trying to be perfect. If I impressed everyone I came into contact with, maybe I’d feel okay. The powerful, important, rich, and influential came into my crosshairs. They represented Sandy for me, and winning these types of people over became an obsession. In college, I dated a fabulously wealthy young woman and tried to integrate into her milieu of private jets and lavish vacations. Years later, in New York, I set my sights on the world of high fashion as a magazine ILLUSTRATION BY ALEX ARIZMENDI

writer. I thought rising to the highest ranks would prove to everyone—myself most of all—that I was worthy of being alive. It didn’t work. No matter how many times my face or my byline appeared in print, no matter how beautiful the women I dated or how impressive my Instagram feed, I felt unfulfilled. I even tried spirituality as a remedy for feeling inferior, but there’s not enough meditation in the world to fix an old story that says, “I’m a piece of shit.” Meanwhile, the anger and confusion I carried about Sandy came out in strange ways. For instance, any woman in my life who became angry with me or who held a position of authority—girlfriends, bosses, editors—I took a special interest in torturing. I turned my back on them, burned them, left them hanging. It was like I was getting back at Sandy through them. Sandy and my father divorced in 2005. He embezzled money from her, and she caught him. Not long after, he committed suicide. In the following years, I shut the door on Sandy. Her e-greeting cards on my birthday most years went unanswered. I tried to forget she existed. But in 2016, while digging through some old files, I uncovered the program from my father’s memorial service. I read the speech Sandy had given that day and felt myself go rigid at the final lines: “But most of all, Sean, he loved you, his son. And that is the message and image I so very much need for you to hear right now.” I felt the pain of loss well up in my chest. I remembered that afternoon at the service, sitting there, still unable to make eye contact with Sandy as tears streamed down my face. I told my therapist, Jacob, about the memory. “Maybe you should go see her,” he said. The thought of talking to Sandy faceto-face terrified me, but Jacob explained to me that the scariest place I didn’t want to go was where the wisdom was. That’s what sets you free. And I wanted to be free.

THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH That spring, I reluctantly began a series of meetings with Sandy in Maine that would span three years. The first, a four-hour lunch at her country club, was simply a reintroduction. Sandy sat across from me tanned and freckled, the deep creases on

her face showing her age. She spoke anxiously, smiled often, and even got a little teary when we said goodbye. The meeting seemed to touch her. I asked my mother on the phone later that afternoon: “Is it possible that as an adult I actually like Sandy?” During our second meeting, Sandy trusted me with sensitive information about my father’s deceit and their resulting divorce. And at our third, we again spoke for hours, sharing stories. She even apologized, telling me: “If I was ever hard on you, I regret it.” With each of our meetings, I realized that all the work I’d done in therapy and on my recovery was freeing me from the expectations I’d had for Sandy that had been clouding my perception. I

I TRIED SPIRITUALITY AS A REMEDY FOR FEELING INFERIOR, BUT THERE’S NOT ENOUGH MEDITATION IN THE WORLD TO FIX AN OLD STORY THAT SAYS, “I’M A PIECE OF SHIT.” could see her more clearly now. She wasn’t scary. In fact, with each meeting, I saw more of her pain, more of her humanity. It’s been my experience as a life coach that behind whatever kind of trauma we’ve been through—sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, addiction, divorce, suicide, being cut from a sports team—is a core story we have about ourselves. Common ones include: I’ll never be enough. I don’t deserve love. I’m better off dead. As long as these stories exist, we find ways to perpetuate them. There’s a funny thing about these stories, though. They tend to crumble under examination. This can be done in many ways, including with a therapist, life coach, support group, or twelve-step sponsor. It can also be done by going back and facing the very thing we fear. I painted Sandy as the enemy for most of my life, which kept me angrily trying to prove her wrong, and it nearly buried me.

But thanks to my therapist’s suggestion and my willingness to follow through, the story I’d been carrying around all these years was being proven untrue. Sandy clearly didn’t hate me. And if that wasn’t true, maybe I wasn’t terrible. Maybe I’d never had anything to prove. As I stopped feeling like I had to impress everyone, I became less angry. I started treating myself better. The critical voice inside my head that I’d always identified with Sandy began to fade, replaced by a gentler message. I’m okay. In fact, I got so okay that I started thinking about how I could help others. So when I went home to Maine last October, I decided that instead of continuing to hold it over Sandy’s head that she’d never cared about me, I’d do something revolutionary: I’d show up ready to care about her. My stepbrother was back home with his new fiancée, and we all gathered at Sandy’s house for dinner. We sat at the old dining-room table where we’d eaten dinner hundreds of times during my childhood. I could see Sandy was anxious, that she wanted to make me feel welcome, so I tried to set her at ease. “It’s good to be here,” I told her. Later that night, I sent her an email: “I was angry with you for many years,” it said, “but I’m not angry with you anymore. You’re the only stepmother I’ll ever have, and it’s important to me to have a relationship with you.” The next morning, walking along the ocean in my hometown, I had a vision of the four of us—my father, Sandy, my stepbrother, and me—all in my dad’s old truck, laughing wildly. It was the first time I could remember having such a happy memory from my childhood, and I knew that it meant I was free. I’d finally let go of the old story. Old stories will always replay until we examine them, but out beyond the stories we tell ourselves is opportunity. When we have the courage to challenge and drop an old narrative, it’s often rewritten better than we could have imagined. Letting go of the story that Sandy would never be the stepmother I needed because there was something wrong with me allowed her to become something I actually wanted: someone who can support me on this tougher-than-I-ever-imagined road of being human. And that’s all I can ask for. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

THE AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS, TOTALLY NUTRITIOUS

100

GUIDE TO

BEST FOODS

FOR

MEN

EVERY TIME YOU GROCERY SHOP, you’re faced with roughly 33,000 choices, according to industry reports. In 2016 alone, you could have bought 21,435 new foods and drinks, per the USDA. Plus, more and more of these products are sold as gluten-free, GMO-free, high protein, plant based, annnnnd no wonder supermarkets have bars now. To save you from aisle-induced anxiety, we built the ultimate no-bull shopping list of perennial go-tos and new favorites that will push you toward eating better: protein, fiber, good fats, and less junk. We put every pick through rigorous, thorough, and, in the case of some disqualified contenders, blech-inducing testing. Now you have only one choice: how many of each

WHAT MAKES

A FOOD “BEST”? FOODS WITH the most protein, fiber, and healthy fats for the fewest calories and added sugars often win their category. We favor healthy, full-fat foods over reduced-fat or nonfat foods, because in a balanced diet, fat won’t make you fat—and it’s delicious. We taste-test everything. In the case of a tie, organic or minimally processed products win out.

to throw into your cart. BY PAUL KITA PHOTOGRAPHS BY

BOBBY DOHERTY // FOOD STYLING BY MICHELLE GATTON

BREAKFAST BEST BREWED TEA:

1. LIPTON LEMON GINSENG GREEN TEA The lemon cuts the grassy taste of the green tea, which isn’t everyone’s thing. 0 calories BEST COW MILK:

2. HORIZON ORGANIC WHOLE MILK This many-time winner is still the smoothest, tastiest milk on the market. Per 1 cup: 160 calories, 8g protein, 13g carbs, 8g fat BEST REASON TO DRINK MILK AGAIN:

3. A2 WHOLE MILK Can’t drink milk because of a digestion issue? This company uses milk that carries only the a2 protein, which may ease things for you. Per 1 cup: 160 calories, 8g protein, 13g carbs, 9g fat BEST THROWBACK MILK:

4. CHOCOLATE MILK You’re never too old for this high-protein treat. Stir into #16. Per 1 cup: 199 calories, 8g protein, 27g carbs (1g fiber), 8g fat

BEST NUT-BASED MILK:

5. SILK ORIGINAL SILK PROTEIN Most alterna-milks have little to no protein. This option contains enough of the nutrient to rival cow milk. Per 1 cup: 130 calories, 10g protein, 3g carbs, 8g fat BEST YOGURT:

6. FAGE TOTAL 5% PLAIN GREEK The full fat makes it formidable enough to work as a sour-cream swap to top #64. Per ¾ cup: 160 calories, 15g protein, 5g carbs, 9g fat BEST COTTAGE CHEESE:

7. DAISY COTTAGE CHEESE 4% MILK FAT It’s satisfying. It’s loaded with protein. Stirred into batter, it even makes pancakes better. Per ½ cup: 110 calories, 13g protein, 4g carbs, 5g fat BEST BUTTER:

8. VERMONT CREAMERY UNSALTED CULTURED BUTTER 86% BUTTERFAT “Cultured” butter means that manufacturers add live bacteria cultures and allow for fermentation, which leads to a fuller flavor. Per 1 Tbsp: 110 calories, 12g fat BEST COFFEE BEAN:

9. STARBUCKS CAFFÈ VERONA This dark roast makes for a good year-round house blend. At your house.

BEST COLD BREW:

Big and bold-tasting black coffee, chilled in a can that

EGGSELLENT BEST CHEWABLE COFFEE:

STARTS

BEST EGG SANDWICH:

12. JIMMY DEAN DELIGHTS TURKEY

11. CLIF BAR DARK CHOCOLATE MOCHA FLAVOR These organic coffeePer sandwich: 250 calories, 15g protein,

BEST EGG:

13. EGGLAND’S BEST ORGANIC HARD-COOKED PEELED EGGS They’ve done all the work. Pop them out of the bag and into your mouth. Per egg: 50 calories, 5.5g protein, 3.5g fat

BEST BRUNCHIN-A-BOX:

14. KELLOGG’S SPECIAL K SAUSAGE, PEPPER & CHEESE QUICHE Quinoa adds to the protein and fiber. Eat two with fruit for a solid breakfast. Per quiche: 170 calories, 11g protein, 6g carbs (2g fiber), 13g fat

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

100 MEN BEST FOODS

FOR

2020

AND-GO:

PROTEIN-PACKED There’s whey protein in these pancakes, but they taste super and cook up fluffy. Swap the syrup for some #26. Per 3 flapjacks: 190 calories, 14g protein, 30g carbs (4g fiber), 2g fat BEST BACON:

19. WRIGHT BRAND DOUBLE SMOKED It’s thick-cut and extra smoky, which lets you do more with less. Per 3 panfried strips: 240 calories, 15g protein, 21g fat BEST NUT MIX:

20. PLANTERS NUTRITION MEN’S HEALTH RECOMMENDED MIX Almonds, peanuts, and pistachios—taste-tested and approved by us. Chop and scatter over your morning oatmeal. Per 1 oz: 170 calories, 7g protein, 6g carbs (3g fiber), 14g fat BEST WATER:

21. SMARTWATER Starting the day hydrated is key. Wake up with this super-crisp, clean-tasting water. 0 calories

BEST PITA:

22. FOOD FOR LIFE PROPHET’S EZEKIEL 4:9 WHOLE GRAIN POCKET BREAD Whole wheat, barley, millet, and lentil flours combine for a sandwich shell that’ll stand up to whatever you tuck inside, like some #29 mixed with #41. Per whole pocket bread: 100 calories, 7g protein, 21g carbs (4g fiber), 0.5g fat BEST OATMEAL: MUFFIN:

BREAD ROCKIN’ fiber with whole grains in this throwback to a breakfast favorite. Stack with two sliced #13’s, some sizzled #19, and lots of #38. Per muffin: 140 calories, 6g protein, 26g carbs (3g fiber), 1.5g fat 68

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

16. BOB’S RED MILL GLUTEN FREE ORGANIC EXTRA THICK ROLLED OATS These hearty day-starters stick to your ribs and don’t quit till lunch. Good chew, too. Per ½ cup: 210 calories, 7g protein, 38g carbs (6g fiber), 3g fat

BEST CEREAL:

BEST SLICED BREAD:

17. ORIGINAL CHEERIOS Trendy “highprotein” cereals are loaded with cloying sweeteners. The O’s stand strong at one gram of sugar per serving. They’re great with sliced banana, as they’ve always been.

23. ARNOLD WHOLE GRAINS 100% WHOLE WHEAT The first ingredient is whole-wheat flour. (In some “wheat” breads, that’s surprisingly not the case.) That also means that the flavor is robust, not sweet.

Per 1 cup: 100 calories, 3g protein, 20g carbs (3g fiber), 2g fat

Per slice: 100 calories, 4g protein, 19g carbs (2g fiber), 1g fat

Prop styling (throughout): Mat Cullen/Lalaland. Preceding pages: Danielle Daly (chocolate milk, egg sandwich).

LUNCHTIME!

100 MEN FOR

2020

BEST CRACKER:

24. WASA WHOLE GRAIN CRISPBREAD They’re made from just rye flour, yeast, and salt. Match them up with #26. Per cracker: 30 calories, 1g protein, 8g carbs (3g fiber) BEST CHEESE:

25. SARGENTO PEPPER JACK NATURAL CHEESE ULTRA THIN SLICES They may be lean in profile, but they’re mean in heat. Slide onto a roastbeef sandwich with BBQ sauce. Per 3 slices: 120 calories, 7g protein, 1g carbs, 10g fat BEST NUT BUTTER:

26. JUSTIN’S CLASSIC CASHEW BUTTER Peanut butter and jelly is good. Cashew butter and jelly will force you to hide your lunch from coworkers deep in the office fridge. Per 1.15 oz: 210 calories, 5g protein, 9g carbs (1g fiber), 17g fat

BEST UNDERRATED SANDWICH SPREAD:

27. PHILADELPHIA ORIGINAL CREAM CHEESE SPREAD You likely think of it only as a bagel schmear, but it also tastes amazing on a leftover-turkey sandwich with pickled jalapeños.

BEST PICKLE:

33. GRILLO’S PICKLES ITALIAN DILL SPEARS Bright, crunchy, fresh, and tangy, these thick, crisp wedges hit all the pickle high points. Per pickle: 5 calories, 1g carbs

Per 2 Tbsp: 80 calories, 2g protein, 2g carbs, 7g fat BEST TUNA:

28. WILD PLANET SKIPJACK WILD TUNA Lots of protein and flavor. No cat-food taste like with some other brands.

BEST GRABAND-GO FRUIT:

34. WONDERFUL HALOS These mandarins are durable enough to toss in your lunch bag. Per fruit: 45 calories, 1g protein,

Per 3 oz: 90 calories, 21g protein, 1g fat BEST SALMON:

29. STARKIST SALMON CREATIONS LEMON DILL This pouch makes consuming omega3’s easy. Tear. Eat. Per pouch: 70 calories, 13g protein, 1g fat

BEST FROZEN BURRITO:

35. EVOL UNCURED HAM, EGG, ROASTED POTATO & CHEDDAR We taste-tested 30 (30!) burritos, and this satisfying pick impressed the heck out of us. Per burrito: 290 calories, 12g protein, 37g carbs (1g fiber), 11g fat BEST KETCHUP:

BOWL

GAMES

BEST SOUP:

30. CAMPBELL’S WELL YES! MINESTRONE WITH KALE SOUP It’s ready for leftover chicken, turkey, or fish to be thrown in for more protein. Per can: 200 calories, 10g protein, 30g carbs (6g fiber), 5g fat BEST CHICKEN MEAL:

31. HEALTHY CHOICE POWER BOWLS SPICY BLACK BEAN & CHICKEN This high-fiber heatand-eat lunch has more protein than most other healthy options out there. Per meal: 210 calories, 20g protein, 19g carbs (7g fiber), 6g fat BEST VEGGIE MEAL:

32. KASHI CREAMY CASHEW NOODLE BOWL Nuts, edamame, and buckwheat deliver a decent dose of protein, though it benefits from #53, too. Per meal: 360 calories, 15g protein, 46g carbs (10g fiber), 14g fat

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

36. HEINZ NO SUGAR ADDED TOMATO KETCHUP It tastes almost exactly like the OG kind. Per 1 Tbsp: 10 calories, 1g carbs BEST SALSA:

37. SALSA GOD HOT & SPICY FIRE ROASTED RED RESTAURANT STYLE SALSA After trying 49 styles of salsa, we declared this habanero-jalapeño combo caliente. Warm and spoon atop scrambled eggs. Per 2 Tbsp: 10 calories, 2g carbs BEST HOT SAUCE:

38. SECRET AARDVARK TRADING CO. HABANERO HOT SAUCE It’s tangy, like Frank’s, but with a slow-building burn, like Sriracha. 0 calories BEST DRESSING:

39. HIDDEN VALLEY GREEK YOGURT RANCH This super-creamy mix transforms boring salads. It’s also great for vegetable dipping. Per 2 Tbsp: 60 calories, 1g protein, 3g carbs, 5g fat

SPREADS,

COVERED BEST MUSTARD:

40. COLMAN’S MUSTARD Creamy, bright, and cutting in its sharpness, this condiment offers a huge flavor payoff for very few calories. Per 1 tsp: 10 calories, 1g carbs, 0.6g fat BEST MAYO:

41. HELLMANN’S EXTRA CREAMY It’s made with more eggs but has only ten more calories than the traditional stuff. Sandwiches love it. Per 1 Tbsp: 100 calories, 11g fat BEST WILD-CARD CONDIMENT:

42. MINA MILD HARISSA This Moroccan sauce combines red bell pepper and red chile pepper into something incredible. Slather on a chicken sandwich or grilled #61. Per 1 Tbsp: 10 calories, 1g carbs

BEST SARDINE:

43. BELA LIGHTLY SMOKED SARDINES IN ORGANIC TOMATO SAUCE Pop the top and put on a cracker. Per ¼ cup: 120 calories, 11g protein, 9g fat BEST QUICK WEEKEND MEAL:

44. APPLEGATE ORGANICS THE GREAT ORGANIC UNCURED BEEF HOT DOG Year after year, these meaty dogs win on flavor. They’re made with 100 percent grass-fed beef. Zig-zag some #40 on top. Per hot dog: 110 calories, 7g protein, 9g fat

Danielle Daly (soup, mustard)

BEST FOODS

50% plant protein 50% angus beef 40% less calories* 60% less saturated fat*

ÂŠ 2019 Tyson Foods, Inc.

*Compared to all beef 80% lean/20% fat pa ies.

FIND IN THE FRESH MEAT CASE

100 MEN BEST FOODS

FOR

2020

BEST “CROUTON”:

48. WONDERFUL PISTACHIOS CHILI ROASTED NO SHELLS Shake on a salad. Per 2 Tbsp: 170 calories, 7g protein, 6g carbs (3g fiber), 14g fat BEST MINI FRUIT:

49. POM WONDERFUL POM POMS FRESH POMEGRANATE ARILS Add to your salads or yogurt. Per 4 oz: 100 calories, 2g protein, 20g carbs (5g fiber), 1g fat BEST FLAVORED WATER:

50. PROPEL FLAVORED ELECTROLYTE WATER WATERMELON It’s flavored water but with sodium and potassium, two nutrients to replenish after exercise. 0 calories BEST FLAVORED SPARKLING WATER:

51. VITA COCO SPARKLING LEMON GINGER This bright and tangy firecracker of a drink will lift you up without the crash of an afternoon coffee. Per can: 25 calories, 5g carbs

52. AIDELLS SAUSAGE ITALIAN STYLE WITH CHEESE Per link: 160 calories, 14g protein, 2g carbs (1g fiber), 11g fat BEST TOFU:

BEST SPICE BLEND:

45. OLD BAY SEASONING Because it’s great on so much more than crab and shrimp. Like chicken. And pork. And, and, and . . .

SEASONINGS

BEST SALT:

BEST PEPPER:

46. MALDON SEA SALT FLAKES They’re big, crunchy, and amazing scattered over sliced rib eye or grilled cod.

47. SIMPLY ORGANIC BLACK PEPPERCORNS That pre-ground stuff in the shaker tastes like dirt. Put these in a pepper mill and crank up the flavor.

Per 5 oz: 200 calories, 15g protein, 15g carbs (3g fiber), 9g fat BEST PASTA:

54. EDEN ORGANIC PASTA KAMUT VEGETABLE SPIRALS There’s a nuttiness to this pasta—and a healthy dose of fiber. Per 2 oz: 210 calories, 10g protein, 40g carbs (6g fiber), 2g fat

Danielle Daly (Old Bay)

ALL-WEATHER

53. HODO SPICY SICHUAN TOFU Precooked cubes of lip-tingling goodness.

BEST HUMMUS:

68. ENGINE 2 PLANTSTRONG TRADITIONAL HUMMUS Lemon juice and cumin cut the garlic, and the chickpeas taste fresh, not tinny. Try it as a “sauce” for grilled fish.

PROTEIN PASTA:

kind made from wheat flour. Per 2 oz: 190 calories, 13g protein, 32g carbs (5g fiber), 4g fat

BEST FROZEN PIZZA:

BEST PASTA SAUCE:

56. CUCINA ANTICA GARLIC MARINARA The fresh garlic and one-two combo of black and white pepper surprised our tasters.

69. SWEET EARTH PROTEIN LOVER’S Though the “meat” is plant your taste buds are being blown.

Per ½ cup: 45 calories, 1g protein, 7g carbs (2g fiber), 1g fat BEST OLIVE OIL:

BEST INSTANT SIDE DISH:

57. LOVE BEETS ORGANIC COOKED BEETS They’re peeled, cooked, and ready for you to chop into a simple side dish for fish or pork. Per ¾ cup: 30 calories, 1g protein, 10g carbs (2g fiber) BEST RICE:

58. MINUTE BROWN RICE & QUINOA Throw it in the microwave and in 60 seconds you’ll have a high-fiber side for pretty much any protein you pair it with. Per 1 cup: 220 calories, 5g protein, 42g carbs (4g fiber), 4g fat

BEST TIMESAVER:

61. BELL & EVANS SPATCHCOCK CHICKEN Spatchcock chicken cooks faster and more evenly in the oven and on the grill. Per 4 oz: 160 calories, 22g protein, 7g fat

BEST BEEF:

BEST SALMON:

62. ORGANIC PRAIRIE ORGANIC GRASSFED GROUND BEEF This clean-tasting protein provides a formidable foundation for chili, tacos, meatloaf, and burgers.

63. 365 EVERYDAY VALUE WILDCAUGHT SOCKEYE Whole Foods’ high standards for fish, frozen or otherwise, make for amazing flavor. Thaw in the fridge the night before you cook.

Per 4 oz: 240 calories, 21g protein, 17g fat

Per 4 oz: 150 calories, 25g protein, 5g fat

BEST QUINOA:

59. ALTER ECO ORGANIC RAINBOW HEIRLOOM QUINOA It’s a mix of white, red, and black quinoa, so it tastes nuttier (and looks spiffier).

BEST TORTILLA:

Per ¼ cup: 190 calories, 6g protein, 34g carbs (3g fiber), 4g fat

Danielle Daly (chicken)

BEST EASY FAMILY MEAL:

60. RAISED & ROOTED NUGGETS They’re made with pea protein, which is weird until you try them and they taste exactly like McDonald’s chicken nuggets. Top them with marinara sauce and shredded mozzarella for a “chicken” Parmesan bowl. Per 4 pieces: 220 calories, 9g protein, 16g carbs (5g fiber), 13g fat

like homemade. Heat in a dry skillet over high to char just slightly. Per 2 tortillas: 100 calories, 2g protein, 21g carbs (3g fiber), 1g fat

BEST TAKEOUT ALTERNATIVE:

66. EVOL CHICKEN TIKKA MASALA Pour this frozen meal into a big pan, heat, and serve. The chicken is raised without antibiotics. Per 10 oz: 300 calories, 16g protein, 34g carbs (4g fiber), 11g fat

70. FRANKIES 457 SPUTINO ORGANIC EXTRA VIRGIN It’s pricier than the generic brands, but it will transform your salads, pasta, and so much more with its lusciousness. Per 1 Tbsp: 120 calories, 14g fat BEST VINEGAR:

71. O CALIFORNIA WHITE BALSAMIC It’s milder than most vinegars. Drizzle over a salad, grilled fish, or sauteed green beans. Per 1 Tbsp: 15 calories BEST SOY SAUCE:

72. KIKKOMAN LESS SODIUM In head-to-head taste tests, this robust yet not-too-salty sauce reigns supreme. Per 1 Tbsp: 10 calories, 1g protein, 1g carbs BEST STOCK:

73. KITCHEN BASICS UNSALTED CHICKEN Swap this for the water when you cook #59 for a punch of flavor. Per 1 cup: 25 calories, 2g carbs

BEST WALNUT: BEST FLAVOR BOOSTER:

65. FRONTERA RED CHILE ENCHILADA SAUCE This tomato-based sauce has a tinge of New Mexico chile peppers. It’s great as a nacho topper, too. Per ¼ cup: 15 calories, 3g carbs

67. DIAMOND SHELLED They’re not as buttery as cashews, but they’re more versatile. Try some roughly chopped into ground beef for tacos, blended into DIY pesto, or roasted with vegetables.

74. DESCHUTES WOWZA! At 4 percent ABV, this hazy pale ale cuts calories, not flavor. It’s sweet, citrusy, and sort of malty—summer in a can.

Per ¼ cup: 200 calories, 5g protein, 4g carbs (2g fiber), 20g fat

Per 12 oz: 100 calories, 1g protein, 4g carbs

BEST BEER:

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

100 MEN BEST FOODS

FOR

2020

SNACKS 78. BLUE DIAMOND

It’s like sushi, in heart-healthy nut form. It’s awesome with #74. Per 1 oz: 170 calories, 6g protein, 6g carbs (3g fiber), 15g fat BEST GRAB-AHANDFUL SNACK:

79. GRAPES Red, green, purple—each of these little flavor grenades is packed with disease-fighting antioxidants. Per 1 cup: 104 calories, 1g protein, 27g carbs (1g fiber) BEST FRUIT CHEW:

80. KIND FRUIT BITES MANGO PINEAPPLE APPLE These are made only of fruit—no sugar added— and provide a pop of fiber when you need a little extra. Per package: 60 calories, 14g carbs (2g fiber) BEST HIGHPROTEIN BAR:

81. MUSCLE MILK 20G PROTEIN BAR, CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER They boast of being high in protein (which they are), but they also contain a huge cache of gut-filling fiber. Per bar: 250 calories, 20g protein, 27g carbs (9g fiber), 9g fat BEST ENDURANCE FUEL:

82. GATORADE FRUIT PUNCH ENDURANCE CARB ENERGY CHEWS These bonk-preventing blocks will give your muscles the carbs they need to press through just a . . . few . . . more . . . miles. Per 4 chews: 120 calories, 31g carbs BEST WHITE WINE:

BEST RED WINE:

BEST SPRING WATER:

75. DARKHORSE SAUV BLANC It’s powerfully crisp and citrusy—and it’s in a can. All this easydrinking wine needs is a cooler, a big bag of ice, a bunch of koozies, a back porch, and some friends.

76. WILLIAM HILL ESTATE WINERY 2015 NAPA VALLEY CABERNET SAUVIGNON If a bottle of red is more your thing, this pours as dark red as ripe black cherries and pairs well with a burger, plant based or otherwise.

77. POLAND SPRING ORIGIN Have you noticed that we recommend water at every meal? (That’s not a mistake, by the way.) This spring water tastes way fresher than tap and makes all-day hydration easy.

Per 5 oz: 130 calories, 4g carbs

Per 5 oz: 160 calories, 7g carbs

0 calories

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

BEST PROTEIN SHAKE:

83. PREMIER PROTEIN VANILLA SHAKE Toss one in your gym bag, your locker, or your desk drawer for whenever you need a protein boost. (It’s shelf stable, though it tastes good cold, too.) Per shake: 160 calories, 30g protein, 4g carbs (1g fiber), 3g fat

ÂŠ 2020 Wonderful Pistachios & Almonds LLC. All Rights Reserved. WONDERFUL, THE ORIGINAL PLANT-BASED PROTEIN, Ă&#x152; i >VV ÂŤ> Ă&#x17E; } } Ă&#x192; > ` Ă&#x152;Ă&#x20AC;>ì `Ă&#x20AC;iĂ&#x192;Ă&#x192; >Ă&#x20AC;i Ă&#x152;Ă&#x20AC;>ì >Ă&#x20AC; Ă&#x192; v 7 ìĂ&#x20AC;vĂ&#x2022; * Ă&#x192;Ă&#x152;>V Ă&#x192; E Ä? `Ă&#x192; Ă&#x20AC; Ă&#x152;Ă&#x192; >vw >Ă&#x152;iĂ&#x192;Â° 7*ÂŁ ÂŁĂ&#x201C;ÂŁĂ&#x2C6; ÂŁĂ&#x201C;

THE ORIGINAL PLANT-BASED PROTEIN â&#x201E;˘

The best protein is grown, not bred. With six grams in every serving, Wâ&#x2C6;&#x201A; nderful Pistachios is a tasty, healthy snackâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;and your plant-based protein powerhouse.

100 MEN BEST FOODS

FOR

2020

BEST EXOTIC JERKY:

BEST BEEF JERKY:

84. PERKY JERKY SEA SALT & PEPPER WAGYU BEEF JERKY Tender, beefy, and only slightly salty, this lean meat makes for a satisfying anytime snack. Good dipped in #68, too. Per 1 oz: 70 calories, 11g protein, 6g carbs (1g fiber), 1g fat BEST SALMON JERKY:

85. FISHPEOPLE WILD ALASKAN SALMON PEPPERCORN cook it. This slightly spicy dehydrated wild-caught Alaskan salmon is a delicious way to sneak in your omega-3’s. It’s also muuuuch less stinky. Per 1 oz: 90 calories, 12g protein,

86. EPIC PROVISIONS VENISON SEA SALT PEPPER BAR Deer meat is a super-lean protein. This bar, seasoned simply, has just two grams of sugar. Pair it with an apple or a pear for a well-balanced mini meal. Per bar: 120 calories, 15g protein, 2g carbs, 5g fat BEST CHIP:

87. BEANFIELDS HIMALAYAN SALT & VINEGAR These addictive triangles are made with navy beans, and the fiber will help you feel fuller while eating fewer. You should definitely try them with #37, too. Per 11 chips: 130 calories, 4g protein, 16g carbs (4g fiber), 6g fat

BEST CHEESE BITE:

91. MINI BABYBEL MOZZARELLA Peel ’em. Eat ’em.

Per piece: 50 calories, 6g protein, 4g fat

CHIP

SHOTS

BEST POPCORN:

92. ARROWHEAD MILLS ORGANIC YELLOW Pop them yourself and you’ll skip that microwaved chemical taste you get with bagged offerings. Go heavy on the #45. Per ¼ cup: 170 calories, 5g protein, 33g carbs (7g fiber)

93. DIVINA PITTED

Per 4 olives: 35 calories, 1g carbs

BEST SATISFIER:

94. DIVINA DOLMAS STUFFED GRAPE LEAVES These rice-packed

Per 2 pieces: 80 calories, 1g protein,

These cheesy-spicy snacks are keto approved and way higher in protein than potato chips. Per ½ oz: 80 calories, 7g protein, 6g fat BEST VEGGIE CHIP:

98. RHYTHM SUPERFOODS ORGANIC CAULIFLOWER BITES BUFFALO RANCH They’re the addictively crunchy, air-popped pieces of cruciferous goodness you never knew you needed. Per 1.4 oz bag: 190 calories, 3g protein, 10g carbs (3g fiber), 16g fat BEST PUFF:

99. MOON CHEESE CHEDDAR BELIEVE IT They’re cheesy poofs, made from 100 percent cheese. Science! Per 1 oz: 170 calories, 11g protein, 2g carbs, 14g fat

95. HU SALTY BEST AFTERNOON PICK-ME-UP:

GREENS BEST LOWCALORIE CRUNCH:

88. ANNIE CHUN’S ROASTED SEAWEED SNACKS, WASABI Fill them with some #28 or #29 and you have a sushiinspired snack. Per package: 60 calories, 3g protein, 2g carbs (2g fiber), 4g fat

BEST SEED:

89. FRITO-LAY ORIGINAL SUNFLOWER These dugout picks are packed with fiber. Take them out to the ballgame and elsewhere. Per 3 Tbsp: 190 calories, 6g protein, 5g carbs (3g fiber), 16g fat

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BEST NOT-SOMINDLESS SNACK:

90. SHELL-ON PISTACHIOS A great source of protein, and they have a snackslowing mechanism built in: the shell. Per 1 oz: 159 calories, 6g protein, 8g carbs (3g fiber), 13g fat

terness of this straightforward 70-percent-cocoa bar. Per ½ bar: 180 calories, 2g protein, 13g carbs (3g fiber), 13g fat BEST DRIED FRUIT:

96. NEWMAN’S OWN ORGANICS PITTED PRUNES These sweet little fiber bombs taste great plucked straight out of the canister. You can also chop them up and throw them on a hot bowl of #16 with a shake or two of ground cinnamon and nutmeg. Per ¼ cup: 100 calories, 1g protein, 26g carbs (3g fiber)

100. PURE LEAF UNSWEETENED BLACK TEA Most bottled teas dump in the added sugar. This stuff isn’t sweetened and still tastes refreshing. 0 calories BONUS! BEST ICE CREAM:

101. TALENTI MADAGASCAN VANILLA BEAN GELATO After we taste-tested 36 varieties of ice cream, this was our top vanilla. It’s just sweet enough. Per ½ cup: 195 calories, 4g protein, 23g carbs, 10g fat

Danielle Daly (seaweed snacks, chicharrones)

GO WITH THE

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April 2020 / MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HEALTH

MAVERICK BALLER Nanjiani jumped at the chance to re-create Top Gun’s epic beach-volleyball scene. “Tom Cruise has such an iconic look with the aviators,” he says. “There are so few movie stars left, and Tom’s stayed an action star—he’s still doing the type of movie he could have done in the ’80s.” On Nanjiani: Sunglasses by Ray-Ban; jeans by Levi’s; chain (dog tags) by Kaufman’s Army & Navy. On model (as Goose): T-shirt by Jockey; trunks by Onia.

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. Y D O B R U O Y E V A LE . Y D O B R U O Y E V A LE . Y D O B R U O Y E V A LE EVERY DAY IN THE GYM, as he was tortur-

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

X-MAN FOR HIRE Nanjiani—who grew up obsessed with comic books—is a big admirer of Wolverine and Hugh Jackman. “He’s one of those actors that can do everything—he can do action, he can sing and dance, he can do comedy.” Pants by Todd Snyder.

Soon Nanjiani realized that if he was going to complete his transformation, his mind would have to adjust as well. That’s the way it’s been throughout his life: In his 20s, he quit a full-time job to pursue a highrisk stand-up career. In his 30s, he decided to suddenly jump into acting and then somehow made that his second career. He’s always looked at whatever opportunity was in front of him and thought, Get good at this. Also: “He’s obsessive,” says Gordon. “When Kumail gets into things, he gets really into things.” After several merciless months, Nanjiani adopted a new workout philosophy.

It was the exact opposite of his leave your body directive. And for someone who’s played his fair share of easily relatable nice guys, and who once recorded a stand-up special called Beta Male, it was surprisingly intense. But over time, it worked: Chase the pain. Chase the pain. Chase the pain.

ALMOST A YEAR LATER, ON A BRIGHT

late-January afternoon, Nanjiani is sitting outdoors at a café near his home, eating an egg-white omelet and happily chatting

Styling: Ted Stafford. Set design: Andy Henbest/Art Dept. Grooming: Kim Verbeck/the Wall Group. Special effects: Arlene Martinez. Tailoring: Yelena Travkina. Production: Zach Crawford/Crawford & Co.

ing himself to get into superhero shape, Kumail Nanjiani would hear that phrase in his head—part mission statement, part plea. The words first came to him early last year. That’s when the 41-year-old actor and writer began the workout regimen that would prepare him for this fall’s Marvel adventure The Eternals, in which he plays an ego-swollen, muscle-packed alien among men. Nanjiani devoured comic books and action fi lms while growing up in Karachi, Pakistan, and has spent the past few years quietly positioning himself for Marvel supersizing. When it finally happened, he thought: I’m playing the first South Asian superhero in a Marvel movie. I don’t want to be the schlubby brown guy—I want to look like someone who can hang with Thor and Captain America. And so, for months, Nanjiani would leave his home in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Los Feliz and head to a discreetly located megagym in Beverly Hills. During the hourlong trip, he would be filled with dread. He’d been hitting the gym since he was 16 years old but had never trained as intensely as he would for The Eternals; at one point, electric shocks were involved. The early workouts were so brutal he’d come close to vomiting. All Nanjiani could do was try to dissociate from the pain. Leave your body, he’d keep repeating. Please—do the movements, and leave your body. It didn’t work. For a while, the only joy in this daily routine came from the relief Nanjiani felt when he drove away, aching and exhausted and more than a little shellshocked. “At first, whenever he came home from a workout, he wasn’t able to focus on anything,” notes his wife, writer-producer Emily V. Gordon. “He was still a functioning person, but for an hour, you couldn’t really count on him to have a conversation. His body was adjusting.”

about his Eternals agony. There are a few strands of gray in his hair, and he’s dressed in a tight, mustard-colored T-shirt, black Puma track pants, and blue-and-white Tiger sneakers. Over the next two hours, Nanjiani occasionally breaks into a sincere, and sincerely charming, tight-lipped smile, and not without good reason: Last night, he attended a party for Little America, the critically adored Apple TV+ series he cocreated with Gordon, and he allowed himself his first brownie in a year. But this morning, he was back at that megagym in Beverly Hills, getting in some shoulder and chest workouts just for fun.

Not so long ago, the mere thought of that hour-long drive “really fucked with me,” Nanjiani says. “Today, I drove to that gym, and five minutes into my workout, my mood brightened. I love it.” Nanjiani’s good cheer is mostly due to the fact that he’s finally home after the busiest 12 months of his life. He began last year by shooting this month’s romantic comedy The Lovebirds, in which he and Issa Rae star as an on-the-brink-of-a-breakup couple who get pulled into a murder caper. Then he had his sixth and final season playing Dinesh, the quietly fuming brainiac on HBO’s tech-world takedown Silicon Valley.

At the same time, he was getting in shape for The Eternals, which he finished shooting less than a week ago. For a while, Nanjiani had to keep the movie hush-hush—he couldn’t explain why he was spending so many hours in the gym. One of the few to be clued in was Thomas Middleditch, his Silicon costar. Through the years, the two men have shared their fitness aspirations: Middleditch recalls a time when Nanjiani became fi xated on the super-ripped Pakistani model Abbas Jafri. “Kumail would show us pictures of him while we were on set, and he’d look kind of envious,” says Middleditch. “Neither of us has a hesitation MEN’S HEALTH

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about going, ‘I wish I had his jawline or arms or whatever.’ I think a lot of sensitive weirdo comedians secretly aspire to be the tough guy. And when they finally get a reason to totally change their body—like becoming a superhero—they’re more incentivized.” Middleditch, who’s known Nanjiani for more than a decade, wasn’t surprised by his friend’s commitment to his Eternals routine: “When Kumail’s given a shot at something, he’s going to take it.” Nanjiani’s showbiz trajectory bears that out. His path has been genuinely wild, the result of ceaseless curiosity and hardcore hustle.

Nanjiani arrived in the U. S. as a teenager to attend Grinnell College in Iowa, a school he knew little about, in a country he’d never before visited. (Some of his Western pop-culture knowledge came from old Mad magazines he’d found in a Karachi bazaar.) “I was scared, and I didn’t want to do it,” he says. “But I had no other options, no plan. My first two weeks there were among the worst in my life.” S o on, t houg h, he b eg a n m a k ing friends—some of whom would be in the audience several years later, watching Nanjiani onstage at a local coffee shop for his

first-ever stand-up gig. He’d spent his college years becoming enthralled by comedy, recording and rewatching stand-up specials before writing his first jokes. And although he has no recollection of what he talked about for nearly half an hour that day, it remains “one of the best sets in my life,” Nanjiani says. “It was magical.” He then relocated to Chicago, where he worked full-time at charter schools, helping kids with their computers, while pursuing stand-up at night. Those early gigs weren’t always great, and for the first five years, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make a living

Rapid Fire out of comedy. But he never thought about giving up. Even after a bad gig, he says, “I wasn’t like, ‘Oh, I’ll quit.’ I was like, ‘Now I know what that feels like.’ ” By 2007, he felt secure enough in his stand-up to quit everything and head to New York to focus on comedy. Nanjiani’s material mixed stories from his personal life with riffs on Star Trek and movies like The Thing. “He had all these little observations about popular culture, and what he found funny about them wasn’t the most obvious thing,” notes Michael Showalter, who first spotted Nanjiani around that

not-so-gently needling) time and went on to direct FAVORITE EXERCISE Dips. I just like the feeling young men. Nanjiani him in The Lovebirds and of holding up my body was Hollywood’s go-to 2017’s The Big Sick, the and how it feels on my cerebral smartass, at Oscar-nominated rom-compecs. It just feels like I’ve a time when that type dram Nanjiani and Gordon been doing something. was in high demand. wrote about their relationFRENEMY EXERCISE “A few years ago,” Nanship. “While a lot of comediLeg raises. I really feel jiani says, “I was workans can be very aggressive, how effective they are, ing with a great guy—I Kumail’s comedy was silly so they’re important to do. But they’re just so won’t say who, but he’s and whimsical.” exhausting. a very handsome, really Showalter hired Nanjiin-shape guy—who was ani as a writer for his 2009 WORKOUT ANTHEM making fun of me for series, Michael & Michael Live Bruce Springsteen, “Brucelegs.” And podcasts. being doughy. And I Ha ve Iss u e s , a nd even was like, ‘I could weigh offered him a role as a ficCHEAT MEAL another 50 pounds and titious version of himself. Dessert—a layered I’ll still work. But if you Nanjiani was in his early strawberry-jam cake or something. Something gain ten pounds, you’ll 30s, and although he’d had really, really simple. never work another day cameos on The Colbert in your life.’ ” Report and Saturday Night LAST TELEVISION Live, he’d never seriously SHOW YOU RECOMMENDED TO A FRIEND considered acting before. A British show called “I’d always thought the Taskmaster. It’s these writers do the real work our lunch, an old writer comedians doing all of and the actors are just sayfriend of Nanjiani’s these silly challenges. ing the words,” he says. “I strolls by, f lashes a EUPHEMISM FOR SEX was very confident in my know ing smile, and My wife Emily’s family calls stand-up, but I didn’t feel says, “It’s been a while. it “wrapping presents”— confident acting. I was like, Do anything . . . noteand I really like that. ‘This is very difficult, and I worthy lately?” Nanjiwant to learn more.’ ” ani’s Eternals stint may Michael & Michael was canceled after have begun in secrecy, but by last spring, just seven episodes, devastating Nanjiani, word had gotten out that he’d gone Marvel. who’d been convinced he was going to spend He first met with producers about the role the next several years on the show. In order in late 2018, though that wasn’t his first to “get away from the scene of the crime,” attempt at breaking into the superhero he jokes, he decided to move to Los Ange- world: Years before Silicon Valley, he’d audiles. Once there, Nanjiani treated his semi- tioned for a role on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. accidental acting career with his usual and was crushed when he didn’t get it. seriousness—Get good at this—and began But later, when he saw comedy performtaking acting classes. “It was like therapy,” ers like Chris Pratt and Paul Rudd being he says. “I’d trained myself to not feel emo- converted into superheroes, he started tions, to push them away, because emotions entertaining the idea, however far-off, are scary. And as soon as I started taking that he could become part of the Marvel acting classes, I started crying at movies universe as well. “It was a pipe dream,” says and commercials more. All these emotions Nanjiani. “But I was very strategic about it.” I’d learned to suppress, I was now learning He turned down supporting parts in other to get in touch with. It made my life better, comic-book projects, worried they’d take made my anxiety better.” him out of the running for his own big role. The classes also made him a more at-ease And he made it clear that he didn’t want to performer, and Nanjiani slowly accrued a play some tech-loving sidekick. “I was like, ‘I series of breakout TV roles. He was the vir- don’t want to be just part of a Marvel movie; tual unknown who was sorta everywhere: I want to be a Marvel superhero.’ ” There he was as a grating cell-phone salesFinally, in the same year he got an Oscar man on Portlandia, or a too-eager numbers nod for his Big Sick script, he joined The nerd on Veep, or a legally savvy agoraphobe Eternals. The movie, which also stars on 31(!) episodes of Franklin & Bash. By the Angelina Jolie and Kit Harington, follows time Silicon Valley debuted in 2014, he’d a group of centuries-old immortals who made a name playing gently nerdy (and secretly live on Earth, with Nanjiani as

HALFWAY THROUGH

YIPPEE-KI-YAY For Nanjiani, 1988’s Die Hard is the gold-standard blockbuster. “It’s a perfect movie filled with all these little moments. In the director’s commentary, they talk a lot about how a movie should have joy— and I want a movie that has joy in it.” Tank top by Hanes.

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Kingo, an arrogant, cosmic-powered being who lives in the present day as a buff Bollywood star. It’s not a character he knew too well; as a young comic fan, he relied on whatever random titles and one-off issues he could get his hands on, and The Eternals was hardly a mainstream must-read. But he knew exactly how he wanted to play Kingo: the same way Bruce Willis played the wry, weary, machine-gun-toting hero of 1988’s Die Hard, one of Nanjiani’s favorite films. “That movie’s life-or-death, and Eternals is life-or-death, too,” he says. “I was like, ‘How can a character crack wise but still have tension, and not make it feel like you’re making fun of the whole thing?’ ” Willis’s Die Hard turn has a historical connection as well. As Middleditch notes, it’s not unusual for a comedy star to get ripped nowadays. “It happens here and there, where they become a hot-bod boy: the Kevin Harts, the Joe Rogans, and, I guess, the Carrot Tops.” But Willis was among the first to make that transition seem credible, 84

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

having turned from a smirky prime-time rom-com actor on Moonlighting into a shirtless action-movie dynamo without losing his light touch. (He kept the smirk intact.) There’s a throughline that runs from Willis’s yippee-ki-yay makeover to Ben Stiller in Tropic Thunder to Nanjiani in The Eternals. Nanjiani had his own ideas for just how buff Kingo should look. “I wanted Kumail to have the freedom to interpret his character, especially his physicality,” says The Eternals director Chloé Zhao. So he looked to Bollywood stars he admired, like Indian box-office eternal Hrithik Roshan, who’s played the superhero Krrish in a series of smash films. “I went to my trainer and said, ‘I want to look like this guy,’ ” says Nanjiani. To achieve it, he’d have to lean heavily on Marvel for help. When The Eternals began filming, he met with a studio chef, who grilled him on his food preferences; soon Nanjiani was being delivered five meals a day, including on weekends, all of it care-

fully planned out. “They were like, ‘If you’re going to have a can of Coke today, let us know in the morning so we can adjust and account for it,’ ” he says. Nanjiani usually had the same breakfast—steak and eggs, or eggs and chicken—but for six months, he never repeated the other meals. And while he was encouraged to eat what he wanted on weekends, he had so successfully cut out such hazards as added sugar and gluten that when he went crazy one night with some sticky toffee pudding, he felt it the next day. “Just 12 hours of physical pain,” he says. That was nothing compared with the anguish of his workouts. He’d exercise during lunch breaks on Silicon Valley; on weekends in a London gym; and on the Eternals set, with its 24-hour-a-day on-call trainers. But it was in those early months last year, in that Beverly Hills compound, that Nanjiani did the most training, physically and emotionally. He’d gone from being a dutiful gym rat to having electric shocks administered to his biceps in order

T A H W S I S I H T F I , D R E E Z I V L A E E N R E “I V ’ I , S I T U O G T N I U K R O D WO E K R O W REALLY NT IN MY LIFE.” E M O M A

PSYCH0 EXERCISER To get into shape like American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman, Nanjiani says, “I tried all the different diets: paleo, keto, fasting. I’d go for a couple weeks, hit a plateau, and then switch. Now I take all of the lessons I’ve learned from all of them combined.”

Peter Sucheski (illustrations)

Boxers by Polo Ralph Lauren; EQT Support RF sneakers by Adidas Originals.

to build more muscle. “I realized, if this is what working out is, I’ve never really worked out a moment in my life,” he says. It was around that time that Nanjiani decided the only way he’d make it through the training—the only way he could get good at this—would be if he embraced just how awful the workouts were making him feel. If he opted to simply leave his body, he wouldn’t get anywhere. “I had to change my relationship to pain,” he says. “You’re so designed to avoid it, but in that situation you really have to be okay with it. You have to want it. It’s almost trying to rewire your brain.” For a while, he wasn’t sure how he wanted to announce the results of all that rewiring and reshaping to the world. But last December, figuring he was in the best shape he’d ever be in, he posted a pair of photos of himself, bare-torsoed and sharp-abbed, to Instagram. The “thirsty shirtless,” as he called them, promptly ate up Facebook and Twitter, and later anchored a segment

on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Nanjiani’s newly ripped torso even wound up on Pornhub, as the thumbnail image for the site’s “Muscular Men” category. “Half the messages I got that day were from people being like, ‘Hey, I want to have sex with your husband,’ ” says Gordon, “and the other half were from people making sure I was okay with my husband’s naked body being everywhere.” She compares the experience to that of The Big Sick: “It took a very private thing from our lives and made it incredibly public. And all I could be was really proud, because he looks amazing.” Nanjiani didn’t quite feel the same way—at least not before he shared his new physique with the masses. “I don’t want to discount people who genuinely have debilitating body issues,” he says. “I don’t have that. But I did start getting some body dysmorphia. I’d look in the mirror and I’d see my abs—and when I looked again, they would fade. I would just see the flaws.” The Instagram photos helped. “When I saw that reaction was when I was like, ‘Okay, I clearly don’t see what’s actually there.’ It’s something that I’m trying to be aware of and be better at, because that’s not a good way to be. You want to be easy on yourself.” That’s where Nanjiani is at the moment: trying to be a little easier on himself while figuring out his non-superhero identity in the immediate future. “This is a key time to establish how it’s going to be going forward,” he says of his post-Eternals lifestyle. “Because it could very easily go back to how things were. And I can’t do that.” But while he enjoys his workouts in earnest now, Nanjiani would still rather spend his time rewatching old Harrison Ford movies, or playing video games, or just going for a walk around the neighborhood with Gordon. “The goal is to get energy from the gym so I can go do other stuff,” he says. “People ask me, ‘Do you think you’re more intimidating now?’ And I’m like, ‘Not at all.’ These muscles are useless. They’re decorative.” BRIAN R AFTERY is the author of Best Movie Year Ever: How 1999 Blew Up the Big Screen.

FORGE

ETERNAL MUSCLE

Kumail Nanjiani built superhero muscle and serious abs with intense bodybuilder-style workouts—and these moves from his trainer, Grant Roberts. Add them in once a week to muscle up your routine.

KUMAIL’S BODY BLAST

DUMBBELL CURL THREE WAYS Curl the right DB toward your left shoulder, twisting the pinkie-side head of the DB up. Lower, then repeat on the other side; do 7 reps per side. Follow with 7 hammer curls (palms facing your torso). Finish with 7 standard curls (palms facing forward). Rest 90 seconds; do 4 sets.

ZERCHER SQUAT Stand holding a barbell, loaded with a relatively heavy weight, in the crooks of your elbows. Tighten your shoulder blades, core, and glutes. Bend at the knees and push your hips back, lowering into a squat. Stand back up. That’s 1 rep; do 4 sets of 10.

EARTHQUAKE ABS SERIES Get in plank position, forearms on a stability ball. Move your elbows forward, rolling the ball forward, then pull back. Do 10 reps. Then do 10 reps rotating the ball clockwise. Follow with 10 reps rotating the ball counterclockwise. Finish with 10 more reps rolling the ball forward and backward. Do 4 sets. MEN’S HEALTH

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TURNING 50 used to mean

a lot of things, and not many of them good. It meant your best years and peak performances and PRs were behind you. It meant sagging and flagging and coasting into the soft, blurry-edged couch phase of life. Not anymore. All kinds of 50-something men and women, from Brad Pitt to Joe Rogan to Jennifer Lopez, are proving they are nowhere near their peak. On the following pages you’ll meet Joe Berenyi, 51, a Paralympic 86

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

cyclist who has upgraded his training and diet and is setting new personal bests. You’ll learn how Bob Harper, the host of The Biggest Loser, suffered a heart attack at 51 and became more shredded and energetic than ever at 54. You’ll pick up tips from elite trainers like Mark Verstegen, 50, and food leaders like chef Robert Irvine, 54, who know from experience how to train and eat to get in the best shape of your life. And you’ll see whether MH fitness director Ebenezer Samuel, who

isn’t even close to 50, can survive a series of workouts with J. Lo’s trainers. (Spoiler alert: His glutes are still sore.) Fifty isn’t the new 40, or even the new 30. It’s way better. You have the wisdom, insights, and network you’ve developed over a long career—by the time they hit 50, most people have had at least ten different jobs!—and you’re better at making decisions and owning them. Plus, when you invest the time and energy into taking care of your body, you build the

foundation to become fitter, stronger, and leaner than you’ve ever been. This isn’t the middle, fellas, and it’s definitely not the end. Fifty is when we’re just getting started, and no matter how old you are today, you can learn a thing or two from the 50-something killers shown here.

54 GO FARTHER Reggie Miller mountain biking in the hills outside Malibu, California.

CHANGE

FITNESS GEARS REGGIE MILLER, THE FORMER INDIANA

PAC E R A N D C U R R E N T N B A H A L L OF FAMER AND TNT ANALYST, STAYS IN SHAPE BY GRINDING UP STEEP TRAILS.

G O TO R E G G I E M I LLE R’S I N S TAG R AM

feed, @reggiemillertnt, and you’ll see that every other post is about riding mountain bikes: the 54-year-old father of two trekking up a dusty California fire road, a GoPro video of a pulse-spiking descent, Miller with his six-year-old at a kids’ race. He currently races as a Cat 2 rider—two below pro—and has a coach. Miller’s first ride was in 2002, when Rage Against the Machine bassist Tim Commerford recognized him at a restauMEN’S HEALTH

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NBA’s most notorious trash talkers, known for having (on separate occasions) provoked both Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant into fistfights—takes a different approach on the trails. “I’m a little bit more forgiving and humble on the bike,” he says. “Trail etiquette is a lot different than basketball-court etiquette. Growing up playing on the streets, you made your name by talking mess. Out here, I see myself lending a hand a lot more. Everybody’s lending a hand to me.” Miller initially turned to pro mountain biker Sonya Looney for riding advice. Now he works with Jason Siegle from Carmichael Training Systems. Typically, he does interval and skills work for the four days a week that he rides during basketball season. (He travels the other three days for games.) He recently had his VO2 max tested for the first time and says that it opened his eyes to the more technical aspects of interval training. Miller also does strength work, something he started after a crash in 2017 left him with a fractured scapula and a black eye. “Actually, the crash was the best thing that happened,” he says, ever analytical. “I was taking shortcuts. I had to get in the weight room.” He says that his height, an asset on the court, makes it more difficult to get into the low position for descending. So he works with a trainer two days a week to improve his core strength and balance. “Being on the bike and starting this all new again brings back memories of the grind,” he says. “Pee-wee and high school basketball, waking up at six or seven in the morning to go to the gym and work on my game.” It’s a feeling he likes but had lost touch with as a pro basketball player. “It’s the best,” he says. “The whole Drake song ‘Started from the bottom, now we’re here.’ I like it.” Miller is also aware that he’s changing perceptions. “As kids, we all wanted a bike. But a lot of people don’t have that opportunity, especially in the inner city. Hopefully, when people see me riding bikes and trying to do this at 54, they’ll see that there are other avenues besides baseball, football, basketball. I wish I would have been doing this when I was younger.” —GLORIA LIU

LEARN

THE ART OF

CONSISTENCY AFTER A HEART ATTACK ALMOST KILLED HIM, BOB HARPER, THE HOST OF THE BIGGEST LOSER, D O U B LE D D OW N ON HIS EATIN G AND FITNESS STR ATEGIES.

THE GYM WAS ALWAYS Bob Harper’s happy place. The 54-year-old trainer, who hosts the reboot of The Biggest Loser, loved CrossFit, especially the girl WODs like Helen and Grace. “I’m drawn to extreme workouts, where you just fall to the ground afterward,” he says. He fell to the ground mid-WOD at Brick, a New York City gym, on February 12, 2017. One of Harper’s arteries was blocked. He was experiencing a widowmaker and went into cardiac arrest—his heart stopped and his face turned blue. A doctor who was training at the gym performed CPR and used the facility’s defibrillator, but he was unable to achieve a continuous rhythm. When the paramedics arrived, they brought a more powerful defibrillator and were able to get his heart beating steadily. Harper was rushed to the hospital and induced into a coma for two days, and then he spent almost a year rehabbing. Initially, he could barely walk a block without being out of breath. “It put me through an identity crisis,” he says. “If I’m not the crazy-healthy workout guy, then who am I? I had to learn to trust my heart again.” Hot yoga has guided him on that journey. He practices daily for 90 minutes, and it’s helped him transform from a swole 215 pounds into a shredded 175 pounds. “It’s been an adjust-

Previous page: Michael Darter. This page: Spencer Lowell/Trunk Archive.

rant and invited him to come on a ride that included big-wave surfer Laird Hamilton. On a heavy, borrowed bike, Miller—who still played for the Indiana Pacers—found himself huffing and puffing to keep up. And he was impressed by his companions’ athleticism. “To see [Hamilton and Commerford] get after it,” he recalls, “I was like, ‘Yeah, this is what I want to do.’ ” He bought himself a Giant bike immediately, but because injuring himself could be considered a breach of contract, he rode only occasionally until he retired in 2005. At that point, he turned to cycling as a way to stay in shape—he wanted to look good in his suits. Then he started going on longer rides, exploring the canyons near his home in Malibu, and fell in love with getting way out there. But the real game changer happened in 2016, when George Mota, a local racer, reached out to Miller and asked him to be his partner for a six-hour endurance relay. “I didn’t want to finish last,” Miller remembers. “I didn’t want it to be like, ‘Oh, you had Reggie.’ ” To his relief, the duo finished mid-pack—and Miller was hooked. Today, he competes in individual cross-country and endurance events. “The 50-plus guys are really fast. I have to do a lot of work.” Miller—one of the

Grooming: Nicole Blais/Exclusive Artists

ment. I don’t have the body I used to, but I feel good. I feel energized. I’m trying to grow old as gracefully as possible,” he says. He is drawn to the discipline of the postures, the connection of breath and movement, and the tribal aspect of classes. He’s also noticed an additional benefit of yoga versus CrossFit: He’s no longer voraciously hungry after a workout. Like about 20 percent of Americans of all ages, Harper has high levels of a fatty particle in his blood called lipoprotein(a), which accelerates the formation of plaque. After his heart attack, Harper cleaned up his diet and currently practices intermittent fasting.

A typical day is eggs, vegetables, and tortillas around 1:00 P. M .; a protein shake or 1 Tbsp of peanut butter on a piece of toast a few hours later; and then fish, salad, and rice for dinner around 8:00 P.M. He sips water all day, consuming close to 72 ounces daily. A self-described creature of habit, Harper says he’s learned to stick to what works, whether it’s his training or diet at home or on the set of The Biggest Loser. “On the show, I give people a bitter pill to swallow at the beginning, which is this: You’re going to lose weight, but it’s keeping it off that’s the hardest. And that depends on finding what works for you and sustaining those habits consistently.”

PHOTOGRAPHS BY CHRISTAAN FELBER

Still, the memory of his heart attack continues to haunt and drive Harper. He admits that whenever he walks into a room, he looks around and assesses who could perform CPR properly: Place your hands, one on top of the other, in the middle of the chest. Use your bodyweight to help you thrust at least two inches deep and hit at least 100 compressions per minute. “I can’t stress enough the importance of being CPR certified,” he says. Harper is focused on living in the moment—something guys of all ages could benefit from doing—and these days he wears a bracelet with a saying from yogi Ram Dass. It reads, “Be here now.” — BEN COURT

STRETCH EASIER Bob Harper warming up at Bodē yoga studio in Manhattan. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

THE J. LO-DOWN

Build core strength, flexibility, and coordination with these moves from Lopez.

TURN UPSIDE DOWN

WHAT MH ’S F ITN ESS D I RE CT OR L EA RN E D W HE N H E T R I ED T O K EE P UP W IT H THE FIT TEST 50 -YEAR-OLD ON THE BLO C K. hurts!” Sapakie says. I can feel it forging core strength, too, since the most basic act—climbing and hanging in place— requires me to tense my abs, glutes, and hamstrings. Not that Lopez sculpts her body on poles alone. Two days later, I catch up with David Kirsch, fitness director at Core: Club in Manhattan, for an hour-long weight-room session. He’s worked with Lopez and many other famous 50-somethings. Kirsch’s secret with all celebs: dynamic plank variations dropped into vicious circuits that also include split squats, walking lunges, and battle ropes. By the time I’m done, my glutes and abs are on fire (again). I already use planks frequently in my own workouts, but I’ll pack more into circuits. I can’t train on a pole every day, but I’ll integrate more gymnastics-style holds using climbing ropes. They ignite your core, glutes, and entire posterior kinetic chain. No problem with that, especially if it helps me move more like J. Lo. —EBENEZER SAMUEL, C.S.C.S.

I’M HANGING UPSIDE DOWN, legs

straddled, hands white-knuckling a one-and-a-half-inch-wide pole at Milan Pole Dance Studio in Miami. Then I’m flipping over and pulling my torso close to the pole, biceps and core flexing. “Let’s do it one more time,” says the architect of this madness, choreographer Johanna Sapakie. I flinch. I’d vastly prefer a gazillion pushups. “You said you wanted to train like J. Lo,” says Sapakie. “Work it!” Nobody knows Jennifer Lopez’s training better than Sapakie. She introduced the actress to pole dancing last year, when Lopez trained for about eight weeks for the film Hustlers. So back to the pole I go, battling to keep up with J. Lo, who’s so fit at age 50 that she can break the Internet with her age-defying look and gravity-defying routine at the Super Bowl one day and lift with fiancé Alex Rodriguez the next. Just 75 minutes into this two-hour session, my forearms are on fire and my core is exhausted from the equivalent of 100 hollow-body holds. “Yes, the pole

HALL OF FAME To determine the WTF-est 50-year-olds in America, we gave each of these guys a score of 1 to 10 in five categories (fitness, energy, influence, look, and relevance). Here’s who landed on top. 90

SILVER FOX

ANDERSON COOPER, 52

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

R O TAT I O N A L C AT- C O W On all fours, arch your back, then rotate your torso to the right. Round your back and rotate your torso to the left. That’s 1 rep; do 4 reps to each side.

Get in plank position facing a cable column, left hand grasping the handle. Pull the handle to your shoulder. Return it. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets of 15 per side.

AQUAMAN

DONNIE YEN, 56

LAIRD HAMILTON, 56

FAST DRIVER

VIN DIESEL, 52

Kevin Winter/Getty Images (Lopez). J. Countess/Getty Images (Cooper). Visual China Group/Getty Images (Yen). Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images (Hamilton). Greg Doherty/Patrick McMullan/Getty Images (Diesel). Kyle Hilton (illustrations).

O F F S E T- P O S I T I O N L E G L I F T Grasp a pole or rope with both hands. Tighten your core and hold your legs together. Squeeze your abs, tucking knees to chest, then lower. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets of 8.

1995 25

1997 27

1998 28

Getty Images (Rudd x9). Ian Spanier (Irvine). Roy Rochlin/Getty Images (Craig). Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images (Pitt). Rich Fury/Getty Images (Kravitz). Kevin Mazur/Getty Images (Jay Z). Michael Schwartz/Getty Images (Rogan).

INVEST IN YOUR PHYSIQUE

2006 36

2008 38

2010 40

2012 42

2018 48

2020 50

Chef ROBERT IRVINE , 54, the host of Restaurant: Impossible, on gains. YOU COULD CALL Robert Irvine larger than life, but more than that, he’s just plain large. Sleeves cannot contain the 54-year-old’s rib-roast-sized biceps. “Fitness and success, to me, are inseparable qualities,” he says. “Fitness is a hard-won acquisition.” Irvine, who just wrapped the 16th season of Restaurant: Impossible on the Food Network, has a firm grip on his gains. Irvine joined the British Navy at 15 and learned the fundamentals of fitness. “I still follow that old-school bodybuilding split,” he says. “Back and biceps, chest and triceps, et cetera. The only difference now is I’ve paid my dues in terms of throwing around heavy weights. I can go lighter to the same effect.” His diet has also evolved. In his 40s, he developed high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Now he emphasizes protein and produce. Peruse the menu at Fresh Kitchen by Robert Irvine and you’ll find a dish that exemplifies his diet: the Power Lunch— quinoa, kale, romaine, avocado, roasted sweet potatoes, and pecans. “You eat that and you’re not thinking, This is nambypamby diet food.” — PAUL KITA

LOOK 20 YEARS YOUNGER

HOW PAU L RU D D, WINNER OF THE MEN’S HEALTH AGELESS AWARD (THE RUNNER-UP IS BABY YODA), DOES IT.

AS THE INTERNET HAS POINTED OUT, there’s almost no difference between 1995 Paul Rudd

and 2020 Paul Rudd, save for a Marvel franchise. We’re going to go out on a limb here and say it’s not because the 50-year-old actor is a vampire but because he actually takes care of his skin. Since he isn’t giving up his secrets, we asked Manhattan dermatologist Joshua Zeichner, M.D., for his top four tips for taking your face from ruddy to Rudd-y. —GARRETT MUNCE 1. WE AR SUN S C RE E N DAILY UV-light exposure is the single biggest risk factor for premature skin aging. Aveeno Positively Radiant Daily Moisturizer SPF 30; $19

SHAKER

2 . PROTECT WITH ANTIOXIDANTS Free radicals can damage collagen and cause inflammation and wrinkles. Ghost Democracy Lightbulb Vitamin C Serum; $34

3. WAS H YOUR FAC E AT NIG HT Oil, sweat, and pollution accumulate on the skin and promote premature aging. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser; $15

4 . RE PAIR WHILE YOU S LE E P Collagen-stimulating ingredients such as retinol can reduce signs of aging. Neutrogena Rapid Wrinkle Repair Serum; $23

E-DATER

DANIEL CRAIG, 52

TASTEMAKER

BRAD PITT, 56

42 LENNY KRAVITZ, 55

43 JAY Z, 50

MOTORMOUTH

JOE ROGAN, 52 MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

TRAIN

WITH

PURPOSE

HUNTER AND INSTAGR AM STAR CA M E RO N H A N E S LIF TS (HEAVY) AND RUNS (FAR) FOR ONE REASON: TO BE A MORE ETHICAL SP ORTSMAN.

ON A MISTY FALL MORNING in the Oregon woods in 1988, Cameron Hanes, then 20, was feeling physically and mentally ground down. “I’d recently switched from rifle to bow hunting,” he says. “But I realized pretty fast that I had to be in better shape for it. I didn’t have the right balance between strength and endurance.” Hanes had played college football and lifted weights multiple days a week. But that bulk, he says, didn’t make him optimally fit to bow hunt deep in Oregon’s unforgiving backcountry—to hike hundreds of miles across rough and rocky terrain, to silently stalk and swiftly move in close enough to make a quick and ethical kill (the goal is to cause massive hemorrhage with a razor-sharp broadhead arrow so that the animal dies in seconds), and to repeatedly pack that elk or deer 12 miles out in 80-pound sections. “So I started running,” says Hanes, 92

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

now 52. He did 10K’s and half marathons for about a decade. In 2002, it was a marathon; in 2005, a 50K. “At the finish line of that 50K, I was wiped out, but I just thought, Wow, I’m a fucking savage!” he says. “But there were these guys who passed me running the course in reverse. The race director told me they were putting in 60 miles training for the Western States 100-miler. I was like, ‘Dang, I didn’t even know humans could do that.’ ” He discovered that he was one of the freaks in 2009, when he ticked off his first 100, Wyoming’s Bighorn Trail Run. In 2017, he completed a 240-miler, the Moab 240 Endurance Run, in 79 hours, 19 minutes, and 25 seconds. These epic runs, he says, have made him a better outdoorsman. “Hunting requires a lot of mental strength. You’re out there by yourself. Tired. Beat down. Hungry. For days. Running has taught me the lesson that discomfort is only temporary. When it’s

hard out there, I think of those races and am reminded that this shit isn’t going to last forever.” Hanes is seemingly defying time—running farther and training harder each year. He now prepares for the hunting season—which he documents to his 900,000 followers on Instagram—by doing a daily marathon. “I break it up throughout the day,” he says. “So I might do six miles in the morning, thirteen at lunch, and six at night.” He also lifts three nights a week. He still favors the old-school bodybuilding stuff he did back in the ’80s, and he is focused on maintaining his strength and lifting the same amounts he did in his 20s. Bench presses, curls and triceps presses, pullups and rows, and ab work like situps and planks give him greater strength and stability. Hanes has suffered no major injuries to date. He attributes his durability to the slow, steady progression of his weekly mileage over three decades. “Guys get hurt when they go crazy on their mileage too fast,” he says. He keeps his legs fresh by practicing recovery techniques daily, like using a Theragun massager on his quads, IT bands, and hamstrings. Good fuel also helps. “I eat wild game every day,” he says. “There’s no better, cleaner protein.” —MICHAEL EASTER

Travis Thompson

AIM HIGHER Cameron Hanes climbs Mount Pisgah in Eugene, Oregon.

FUTURE-PROOF YOUR BODY 50, the OG of functional fitness, shares his top tips to help you perform at your best before and after you turn 50. MARK VERSTEGEN,

1. To stoke motivation, set 6 to 8 fitness goals per year and tailor your training to each one. 2. To train efficiently, alternate strength workouts (heavier lifting with reps in the 4-to-8 range) with highintensity circuits (with reps in the 10to-15 range). Do active recovery (yoga, walking, etc.) on days you don’t train. 3. To maintain power, which plummets as you age, master an explosive lowimpact move like the kettlebell swing. 4. To be accountable, call BS on your own bad exercise and dietary choices. You’re making the decisions; you’re not a victim. 5. To stay mobile, grease your hips by doing these 3 moves daily.

INVERTED T

Start standing, arms out. Tighten your core and lift your left foot. Keeping your left leg straight and your core tight, hinge forward at the hips. Go as far as you can before letting your back round. Flex your right glute, raising your left leg. Return to the start. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets of 8. Too easy? Add a weight vest, kettlebells, or dumbbells.

BEST STRETCH EVER

Start standing, then step your left foot back into a deep lunge, placing your left hand beside your right foot. Reach your right arm upward, opening your chest. Then lower your right hand to the outside of your right foot and straighten your right leg, shifting your hips upward. Bend your right leg, release your hands, and stand up. That’s 1 rep; do 5 reps per side.

BIG

SEEK LITTLE GAINS JOE BERENYI, A TWO-

T IM E PA R A LYM PIA N, WA N TS T O R I D E FASTER IN TOKYO.

Hilary Higgins (Berenyi). Kyle Hilton (illustrations).

R AC I N G YO U N G E R R I D E R S , some

half his age, motivates Joe Berenyi, 51, never to skip workouts. He specializes in track cycling, in particular the 1K event, which is four lightning-fast laps around a velodrome. “The last lap feels like you’re pushing through mud,” he says. “I imagine another rider is coming around me, and that spurs me on.” It’s working: Berenyi’s times are getting faster, and he set a personal best of 1:08:381 in a 1K race in 2019—three seconds faster than his time at the London Paralympics in 2012. On track to race in the Tokyo Games, he vies against competitors with amputations and limb impairments in the MC3 category. In 1997, Berenyi was working in construction and competing in road races on weekends around Aurora, Illinois, where

L AT E R A L LU N G E

Start standing, arms out in front of you. Tighten your core, then step about 2 feet to the left with your left foot, keeping your right leg straight. With feet flat and toes pointing forward, bend your right knee, sitting back and leaning forward, aiming to get your right thigh parallel to the floor. Press back up to standing. That’s 1 rep; do 3 sets, alternating, 10 per side. — E . S .

51 he lived. One morning, he was placing a steel beam on a new office building. The setting failed and knocked him 40 feet to the ground. The beam sheared off his right arm and smashed his left leg. He spent two weeks in the hospital and a year on the couch, enduring skin grafts and knee operations. He had to learn how to walk again and didn’t ride until 2007, starting out on a mountain bike. He eventually returned to racing road bikes in 2009 and then converted to track riding in 2012. “I learned to adapt to ride with one arm,” he says. “Now, unless I see my shadow, I don’t even think about it.” Over the years, he has adapted his training, doing more high-intensity efforts along with more recovery work. These are two of his favorite burners to forge power. (A) 23 minutes: 3 sets of 10 reps of 30 seconds at maximum effort, followed by 15 seconds at recovery power. (B) 48 minutes: 1 minute at maximum effort, 5 minutes active recovery. Repeat 8 times. The five-foot-nine, 160-pound rider adheres to a strict low-carb eating plan

and is careful not to be more than ten pounds over his racing weight. Because he rides one-handed, it puts unbalanced stress on his back, and he compensates for that with a daily 15-minute regimen of core exercises that build stability. “Lots of planks and bridges,” says the father of three. “I know younger riders can train longer and recover faster, so I have to do all the tough intervals and fine-tune my technique.” — B . C . MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

LEARN

DANCE

ADVICE FROM TONY HAWK, 51, TO HIS YOUN GER SELF AND FELLOW 50-SOMETHIN GS STILL GETTIN G AFTER IT. AS T OL D T O C HR IS DI XO N

DEDICATE TIME TO HELPING YOUR BODY RECOVER. Skating’s been my only true form of exercise, and my body’s paid the price. If you see me in person and you see me turn my neck, I always get comments: “Oh, is something wrong with your neck?” “Yeah, about 30 years of whiplash.” All of those falls—they take a toll. I get worked on at least once a week—massage, acupuncture—and it helps. I don’t do yoga, but I’m sure that it would benefit me. It’s hard to find time. If I have an hour, I gotta skate. GET SERIOUS ABOUT WARMING UP. I used to be able to drop in right off the bat and do a McTwist just to show off.

When you’re younger, you can compensate, and you can just do it. That’s not happening these days. You definitely have to start out slow. I mean, if I drop in nowadays on my first run, I know my body won’t react the way I need it to. ROLL WITH THE PUNCHES AND EVOLVE YOUR TRICKS. If I don’t skate vert for a week and I go back, I’m like, What? This ramp’s big. It looks scarier. If you’re not consistently doing it, it will slip away from you faster in your old age. To be clear, I don’t want to be doing the tricks I was doing in my 30s anymore, because the risk factor is too high. So I’ve let these more highimpact tricks go in favor of more technical tricks that will actually be more appreciated by skaters. Moves that are low-impact—a little bit more “dance-y.” That has allowed me to stay progressive into my older age but also feel relevant. LET YOUR KIDS LEAD. BUT SHUT ’EM DOWN WHEN YOU MUST. I got very lucky in that my first son, Riley, had a very good sense of his limitations but also the desire to push those limits. What I didn’t realize is that there’s a definite element of nature over nurture. The following children were all different. My next son, Spencer, had a really good

50+

. . . AND JUST GETTING S TA R T E D A growing number of guys are switching careers in their 50s. Here’s how five of them carved out new paths. 94

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

MARK WEISS, 55, Georgia NOW

Restaurateur B E F O R E Sales

W H Y My job with a Fortune 500 company got eliminated. H O W I bought a pizza spot called Tour de Italy. A DV I C E Follow your passion and your gut, but do your research. There are many core competencies that you may not even realize you possess. For the first time in my life, I get to be me.

sense of balance and ability but didn’t like to push himself. And then the son after that, Keegan, is crazy. He’ll try anything. He doesn’t want to go through the process of learning the foundation of what he’s trying to do. I’ve had to shut him down for his own safety. REMEMBER, YOU’RE IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL NOW. A helmet and pads—they’re crucial when skating transitions or anything over three feet high. And be a little more conservative, obviously. There’s something to be said for building up your stamina. Just because you have a full hour to skate, don’t skate for that full hour if you’re going to get worn out and not be able to skate for a whole week afterward. Build up little by little, like a marathoner. YOU’RE NOT HAVING A MIDLIFE CRISIS JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO SKATE INTO OLD AGE. There’s a few elements to this idea. One is that guys our age have kids that are interested in skating—and that will kind of snap you back into it, where even your kids are surprised. Like, What, you rode a skateboard? Also, the number of great new facilities. Then there’s just the idea that, Hey, we were doing this in our youth. Why do we ever have to quit?

BRAD HILDEBRANDT, 55, Colorado N O W Event manager B E F O R E Firefighter and wrestling coach

W H Y I was eligible for retirement after 25 years as a firefighter. I wanted to try something new. H O W I did contract work for USA Triathlon and then earned a full-time job. Learning new tech stuff keeps me feeling young. A DV I C E Take as much time as you can to plan your change.

Kyle Hilton (illustrations)

LET YOUR PASSION SET THE PACE FOR YOUR PURSUIT. When I was a kid, once people turned 18, they had to get a job. They had to quit skating. The looming sort of reality was that, Look, you can’t do this physically— into your 30s even. So when we started to make a living at it, it was like, Oh wow, we can do this into our young-adult lives. My biggest secret is that I never quit. Physically that was the key to being able to continue. I enjoyed skating when I was a kid. I enjoyed it when it was this huge success in the ’80s. I enjoyed it when it was in a lull. The hype was never my motivation.

J. Grant Brittain

TOUCH THE SKY Tony Hawk drops a backside ollie at Clairemont Skate Park in San Diego.

MARK I. SALVACION, 55, Pennsylvania N O W Pastor B E F O R E Lawyer

W H Y I was a whistleblower and achieved a substantial settlement but realized I wasn’t happy in my career. H O W I went to seminary school. A DV I C E Ask the hard questions: Do you feel self-actualized? Are you taking care of your soul? I earn 90 percent less money now, but I’m 90 percent happier.

IRVIN RANDLE, 58, Texas NOW

Style influencer BEFORE

Teacher

W H Y People kept asking me for style advice, so I started Sunday Funday posts on Facebook. H O W In 2016, I went viral for three days. It changed everything. I have 320,000 followers on IG. I go to fashion events and work as a stylist. A DV I C E It’s never too late. Get up and motivate yourself and love yourself.

JOHN KAZMIERCZAK, 54, Pennsylvania N O W Chef B E F O R E Construction contractor

W H Y I started working in construction after high school, but what I really loved to do was cook. H O W Doing a fully accredited culinary degree through the Auguste Escoff ier School of Culinary Arts online program. A DV I C E Don’t see your 50s as the sunset. Look at them as the sun is rising. I’m now a new person.

MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

MENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HEALTH

THE VOORHES MONTH

04.20 97 BEYOND BLOOD PAGE

BY BILL GIFFORD

A ntwan Piper was at dinner with colleagues on a work trip in Oklahoma when his wife, Alexis, called from back home in Texas. He figured he would call her back later, but then she called again. On the third call, he finally picked up. Alexis sounded out of breath and in pain, her voice tight. “I’ve already called the ambulance,” she managed to get out. It was Sunday, March 4, 2018, and Alexis was in “crisis”—a term for when her sickle-cell anemia flares up. Due to this congenital condition, Alexis’s red blood cells—normally round and flexible— become rigid and sticky, and twist into a sickle-like shape, rendering them poor at carrying oxygen, job number one for red blood cells. They clump together and can get stuck in small blood vessels, blocking blood flow and oxygen in certain parts of the body, which causes excruciating pain. Except this time felt different, far worse than ever before. In the span of several hours, Alexis had gone from feeling like she had a cold to experiencing shooting pain throughout her body, leaving her crumpled on the floor of their upstairs hallway. Antwan served as a master sergeant in the Air Force and a church pastor, while his wife, a former teacher, wrote upbeat and inspirational religious books. Both were generally healthy and in their mid-30s, and they always tried to stay positive. At the moment, however, both were terrified. “I don’t think words can do it justice, the feeling of a husband hearing his wife in pain and he can’t do anything about it,” Antwan says. When Alexis arrived at Brooke Army 98

April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Medical Center, outside San Antonio, the doctors quickly went through the usual protocols for a sickle-cell patient in crisis, ultimately electing to give her a transfusion. They checked her blood type, found a match, and tapped a fresh bag of red blood cells into her IV, hoping they would diffuse among the damaged ones. After a few days of additional treatment, her doctors decided to give her another transfusion to try to raise her level of hemoglobin, a blood protein that transports oxygen. During this second transfusion, Alexis began writhing and screaming. The pain was unbearable—“a ten out of ten,” she says. Alexis’s hematologist, Lauren Lee, M.D., recognized the problem immediately: The patient had been receiving transfusions since age seven. Now she’d entered a potentially fatal state of hyperhemolysis, a condition in which the immune system attacks red blood cells, believing them to be an invading pathogen, which further hampers fresh oxygen transportation to strangled cells. A healthy person’s hemoglobin level is 12 to 15 grams per deciliter. Because of her condition, Alexis’s typical level was 7, but it had dropped to about 5 by the time she was admitted. It kept falling as she slipped

in and out of consciousness and hospital staff rushed her to the ICU. By the time Antwan reached her bedside, things looked bleak. Alexis’s hemoglobin level had dropped into the 2-to-3 range, and she was very weak. “That’s when they started prompting me, preparing me for her dying,” he says. “They’re telling me there’s been no survivors” among patients with such a low hemoglobin level. But Dr. Lee had one last idea. She got in touch with two top hematologists—Marc Zumberg, M.D., and Colonel Andrew Cap, M.D., Ph.D.—and everyone thought one risky intervention might still be worth a shot. It was a transfusion of, well, not blood exactly but rather an approximation called Hemopure, a synthetic blood-like product made from cow blood. Because Hemopure is not actual blood, it could theoretically be given to just about anyone. It’s shelf stable and adaptive to any blood type. Gin up enough and you could have it on tap in ambulances and Army-medic backpacks, just about anywhere you might need a lifesaving transfusion on demand. The catch: Hemopure has not yet been approved by the FDA. In the U. S. it’s only available through “compassionate use,” for patients with life-threatening conditions who have exhausted all other treatment options. Dr. Lee said there was no guarantee that it would work, and no guarantee that it would be free of side effects. All it had to do was deliver oxygen throughout Alexis’s body until she was well enough to start making her own blood cells. Dr. Lee asked Antwan if he was interested, and he said he wanted to pray over it. “It’s either this or she dies,” she remembers saying. “We wanted to give it a shot.” Antwan agonized over all of these thoughts as he prayed. “They told me what they were hoping it would do, but they couldn’t guarantee me that it would work,” he says. “We were exhausted, and we didn’t have time. I really struggled, because of the uncertainty and the side effects they really didn’t know.” He couldn’t ask Alexis since she was unresponsive. It was all up to him. He signed the consent.

LATE ONE NIGHT,

Zaf Zafirelis’s phone started beeping and buzzing. He picked it up, knowing immediately

Chris Pyper/the Noun Project (cow). Daniel Behrends/the Noun Project (person).

what kind of call this would be: another desperate surgeon inquiring about Hemopure, the blood substitute made by the company he ran. Zafirelis was CEO of a tiny biotech outfit called Hemoglobin Oxygen Therapeutics, which had been operating on a shoestring but had recently secured space to open a new manufacturing facility across the street from a slaughterhouse in Pennsylvania. He was used to getting three or four calls a week, always about patients whom conventional interventions had failed, always in the direst of straits. One time, it was a young man on Long Island with a rectal hemorrhage. Another, a 28-yearold woman in Michigan who needed risky heart surgery. Then there was the 35-year-old patient with anemia as a result of her leukemia. And the man in his 70s with a potentially fatal GI bleed. Sometimes these calls came from doctors with patients who had severe anemia and no options, like Alexis. Often they involved patients who could not receive blood transfusions because of their religious beliefs, like Jehovah’s Witnesses, whose interpretation of the Bible prohibits “ingesting” the blood of their fellow man. After a short talk with Dr. Lee, Zafirelis shipped ten units of Hemopure via emergency medical courier straight to San Antonio. He knew from experience that it could give her a shot. “The product will keep a patient who needs oxygen alive almost for as long as needed,” he says somewhat carefully. Hemopure and products like it first came about as a response to the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 1980s, when many patients were unwittingly infected with the virus via blood transfusions. That led to a rush by several companies to transcend science fiction with a safe, pathogen-free alternative to natural blood. The problems with traditional blood supplies are fairly straightforward. You can run out, donations can be tainted with pathogens, and the stuff doesn’t last that long outside the body—even chilled, you’ve got just a few weeks before packed red blood cells lose effectiveness. Beginning in the late ’80s, scientists set out to come up with a replacement that would be not only disease-free but also stable without refrigeration. Whoever invented it certainly stood to prosper. “That was like the Holy Grail of blood,” says Kendall Crookston, M.D., Ph.D., a professor of medicine at the University

FAKE BLOOD:

THE POSITIVES AND NEGATIVES Blood Substitutes

Natural Blood

ORIGIN

VS. Hemopure starts with hemoglobin that’s extracted from bovine red blood cells and then purified and formulated in a salt solution.

USABLE RATIO

4:1

VS.

1:1

Only a small portion of the cow blood goes into the product formulation; it takes slightly more than two pints to make a half-pint bag.

BASIC BENEFITS

CARRIES OXYGEN

VS.

OXYGEN, IMMUNITY, AND COAGULATION

Hemoglobin-based oxygen carriers shuttle oxygen around the body but don’t contain the healing properties of the real thing.

IN THE BODY

VS.

HOURS

30 DAYS

Blood substitutes (specifically HBOCs) are metabolized quickly by the body. Unlike regular blood, they must be replenished to stay effective.

ON THE SHELF

YEARS

VS.

40 DAYS

HBOCs don’t need to be refrigerated and won’t spoil, so they can be available in or easily shipped to any place imaginable.

of New Mexico School of Medicine. “But they pushed it from the bench into clinical trials perhaps too quickly.” Two early formulations emerged, both focused on doing blood’s main job of transporting oxygen from the lungs to cells. The first was a red and syrupy class of artificial hemoglobin-based oxygen carriers (HBOCs) that replicated the action of red blood cells. The second was a milky set of compounds called perfluorocarbons, which transported oxygen chemically. By the early aughts, there were more than half a dozen products in various stages of development. But during clinical trials for two products, PolyHeme (an HBOC) and Oxygent (a perfluorocarbon), people died and trials were halted. Investors fled, and the sector promptly tanked. Hemopure survived, but barely. Unlike the other HBOCs, it was made from cow blood and not expired human blood. It contained no actual red or white blood cells, plasma, lipoproteins, or any other ingredient of the complex cocktail that is human blood. Instead, it delivered oxygen via hemoglobin made by separating the red blood cells out of cow blood, then lysing or chemically piercing them to produce microscopic hemoglobin molecules. Further (and proprietary) processing and polymerization rendered the hemoglobin into a solution easily processed by the body. Hemopure lacked many of the properties of whole blood—it didn’t clot or create new antibodies. Could it keep you from bleeding out? Maybe, so long as your body caught up and eventually took over the healing process. But Zafirelis, who helped pioneer Hemopure at a company called Biopure, didn’t like how market speculation seemed to gloss over the drawbacks. He left the company in 1995. “It’s an unreasonable comparison,” he says. “There’s no way an artificial product can match what the real thing does.” The SEC alleged that, starting in 2003, Biopure had failed to publicly disclose that the FDA had put a hold on a clinical trial of the product in emergency-room trauma patients due to safety concerns. The company’s stock crashed, and three executives were indicted for making false representations about the health of the venture. Zafirelis was brought back as CEO in 2004 and helped popularize a veterinary HBOC version that has saved dogs, tropical parrots, an African rhino (through penile infusion), even a shark at a Vegas casino. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020

But the worst was yet to come. In April 2008, The Journal of the American Medical Association published a meta-analysis of clinical trials of five HBOC products, including Hemopure, partially funded by the Washington, D. C., public-interest group Public Citizen. The authors added up the fatalities in the treatment and control groups from hundreds of combined treatments and concluded that these products actually increased a patient’s risk of heart attack and possibly death because they “scavenge” nitric oxide, a blood-borne gas that causes blood vessels to expand. Without it, blood vessels constrict. That’s a danger, but so is dying while doing nothing. In 2009, the venture was sold to a new set of investors, who kept Zafirelis on board to see if they could resurrect the dream. They downsized dramatically and were trying to figure out how to reboot. Zafirelis’s company was on life support.

Meanwhile, Dr. Lee gave Alexis other drugs and vitamins that she hoped would help her body begin to produce its own red blood cells again, as well as another experimental drug to stop the inflammatory reaction that was breaking down her existing red blood cells. Over the next day or so, they infused another unit of Hemopure, and another, and another. Alexis woke up. “By about the fourth bag, she was able to have a conversation,” Dr. Lee recalls. “She looked the best she had ever looked.” When the fifth bag was tapped, all that changed instantly. Alexis’s eyes fluttered and she started violently seizing, not just once but over and over. Dr. Lee wondered if Alexis was receiving too much oxygen, so she stopped the treatment and the seizures halted. Alexis’s hemoglobin level was dropping again. Antwan had to face the same question with even higher stakes: Keep trying or let her go? Would he allow them to continue the Hemopure treatment on his wife, even if it risked causing more seizures—and possibly brain damage?

TT Z THE TEN UNITS of Hemopure

reached the hospital less than 24 hours after Dr. Lee called Zafirelis. Unlike blood, which is shipped in ice-packed coolers, it arrived in a simple cardboard box. Each plastic bag inside sloshed with 250 milliliters of a dark-red liquid whose color reminds Zafirelis more of cabernet sauvignon than of actual blood. Brooke Army Medical Center’s care team hitched the bag to Alexis’s IV, and its contents began to flow in. Whereas blood can take some time to start working, artificial hemoglobin transports oxygen quickly. And because the molecules are so tiny, about one-thousandth the size of red blood cells, they could easily filter into Alexis’s partially blocked blood vessels. Dr. Lee and the rest of the team watched as her hemoglobin level stabilized and then slowly began to climb.

ZAFIRELIS HAS zero uncertainty

about why he continues to pursue the dream of substitute blood, and why it matters. He thinks it’s time to drop comparisons and reset expectations completely. “The mistake that previous companies made was that they started claiming this was ‘artificial blood,’ which it’s not—it’s red cells only,” Zafirelis says. “This is where the industry hype ran away from science.” (So much so that in 2007, Danish cyclist Michael Rasmussen was forced to quit the Tour de France while in the leader’s yellow jersey because he’d somehow secured Hemopure as a performance enhancer. “It was useless,” he later tweeted. “Pure placebo.”)

IT WAS THE SAME QUESTION WITH EVEN HIGHER STAKES : KEEP TRYING OR LET HER GO? WOULD HE ALLOW THEM TO CONTINUE TREATMENT, EVEN IF IT CAUSED MORE SEIZURES— AND POSSIBLY BRAIN DAMAGE? 100 April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

KNOW YOUR BLOOD HYPE

Hemopure isn’t actually artificial blood. It’s what’s called a hemoglobin-based oxygen carrier, a class of compounds that use microscopic hemoglobin molecules (in this case from cow blood) to transport oxygen quickly through the bloodstream. Here are three difficult scenarios in which that would potentially be a lifesaver.

TRANSFUSIONS Synthetic blood can be stored for years at room temperature and given universally. That’s good for times when the real stuff might spoil or run dry, like on the battlefield, in ambulances, or in areas lacking blood banks or disease-free veins to tap.

TRANSPLANTS Perfusion, running blood through organs, helps to “recondition” them prior to transplant. Dutch research shows that performing a Hemopure-based perfusion can recondition suspect organs, increasing their odds of being accepted, without dipping into precious blood supplies.

STROKES Studies on live pigs have shown that an HBOC can lessen the heart damage caused by blocked veins and arteries, the telltale signs of ischemia, in part because the product’s microscopic oxygen-transport system can diffuse past clogs in the bloodstream.

Zafirelis’s plan is to test Hemopure in situations in which real blood simply doesn’t make sense, by working with the military (which receives FDA priority for the development of lifesaving medical products) and patients who have no alternative left. The Department of Defense recently committed $8.2 million to study Hemopure in up to 1,600 “pre-hospital” trauma patients in South Africa, where ambulance-transport times are far longer than the 11-minute average in the U. S. and clean blood is in short supply. In fact, Hemopure has been approved for hospital use in South Africa for decades. “It has a very good safety record over 20 years, but we don’t have a lot of data for its use in trauma situations, which is why we want to do this study,” says Lee Wallis, M.D., the head of the division of emergency medicine at both the University of Cape Town and Stellenbosch University, who is in charge of the project. Bruce Spiess, M.D., a professor of anesthesiology at the University of Florida,

LIVE TESTING Left: Antwan and Alexis spending time together just one month before her medical crisis—and his fateful decision to try an experimental intervention. Right: Alexis in the hospital after receiving the synthetic-blood infusions that would give her a second chance at survival.

points out the broader potential for doctors in emergency situations throughout the developing world, where blood is sparse and diseases are harder to control. Zafirelis is also working with a consortium of U. S. medical institutions, including the University of Michigan, Duke University, the University of Texas Southwest Medical Center, and the University of Rochester, to look at future applications of products like Hemopure. That’s part of a $4.8 million National Institutes of Health study examining the overall impact of those last-ditch interventions, even if they fail. “It’s often a choice between giving patients something and giving them nothing,” says Dr. Crookston. But in the eyes of the FDA, the notion of substitute blood is a hypothesis that still needs testing—and some patients are in the unenviable position of being able to help with that. Their unfortunate health issues offer opportunities for doctors to learn new ways of assisting others. To not take advantage of that prolongs the inability to help those in similar situations. That’s part of why Zafirelis still answers his phone every time, but also why he’s encouraging less invasive experiments with just as much potential. Hemopure stands to revolutionize not just critical and emergency care but transplants, too. In 2014, for instance, a Dutch transplant surgeon named Robert Porte requested Hemopure for a study testing how a perfusion system that circulates fluids might recondition 16 donated livers that had been initially declined for regular transplantation. After the treatment, 11 were deemed viable and were successfully transplanted into patients who had no other option for treating their advanced liver disease. These patients were severely ill at the time, but all 11 of them (and their

livers) were doing fine six months later. Normally, transplant surgeons weigh the risks and make a call: Is this organ healthy enough to help the recipient survive? “There is no way you can do a test drive,” Dr. Porte says. “You can’t take a risk with a patient’s life, so you have to err on the safe side. At the same time, people are dying on the wait list because we don’t have enough good organs.” If Dr. Porte’s findings pan out, he estimates that the technique could increase the supply of available livers by 20 percent. In the meantime, Wake Forest University and the Cleveland Clinic are studying the implications for hand and limb transplants. And the journal Nature recently shared a study that shows perfusion with Hemopure can revive dead pig-brain cells, something that might eventually help stroke victims. Tests on live pigs reveal that Hemopure may also affect ischemia—in which blocked blood vessels may damage the heart or the brain—by bringing oxygen there more quickly and efficiently than real blood can. In each case, the promise of a cure-all is being more narrowly defined, strategically sharpened, and potentially firmed up for more investment. Through success and, yes, sometimes failure, Zafirelis has learned that Hemopure can deliver oxygen to tissues and keep them alive outside of the body, in some cases more effectively than natural blood. “You have to do it under the right conditions,” he says.

“WE DON’T KNOW what kind of

condition she’ll be in,” Antwan remembers the doctors telling him. “We won’t know how much or the degree of brain damage she may have suffered until she wakes up or

starts moving around.” He wanted to pray again. “There is no time to pray,” they told him. “You have to decide now.” After talking to a friend from church, Antwan decided that Alexis’s best chance was to keep going. Alexis received a sixth unit of Hemopure, enough to sustain her until her body could begin producing its own red blood cells with their own hemoglobin. Shortly after the last dose drained in, she was placed in a medically induced coma to prevent further seizures and assist her body with recovery. But even after her condition stabilized and she woke up, she faced a long and difficult road. Alexis spent six weeks total in the hospital, often feeling foggy and confused. When her hemoglobin climbed back to 5.5—around the same level as when she was admitted—she was discharged to keep recuperating at home. The oxygen-deprived state had damaged her muscles and motor skills, so she spent several months in physical and cognitive therapy with a home nurse, learning to walk again. Antwan took time off from work to be with her as she recovered. He doesn’t regret his decision to use Hemopure, and Alexis doesn’t, either. She’s back working on her books and views the experience as nothing short of a miracle: “I’m grateful that God could use something that hadn’t been done before and allow it graciously to help me in a very tough time and an ugly, life-threatening situation.” Zafirelis remains hopeful. He recently got a call from a 19-year-old male Jehovah’s Witness in North Carolina with sickle-cell disease, who received 23 units of Hemopure. Another came from a 28-year-old man in Nebraska with sickle-cell complications cascading into pneumonia, respiratory failure, and acute congestive heart failure. He received 27 units over the course of more than two weeks. Both survived. All told, more than $1 billion has been invested in research and development for Hemopure, and the product has saved more than 400 people in life-or-death situations. That survival rate should only increase with more chances. “This has become my life’s work now,” Zafirelis says. “I cannot give up. I believe in it. I’ve seen it work.” He’s ready to pull more bags out of storage the next time the phone rings. BILL GIFFORD is the author of the best seller Spring Chicken. His next book is about longevity and the future of medicine. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020 101

WASTED! THE BUSY MAN’S GUIDE TO NOT SQUANDERING WHAT MATTERS MOST: MONEY, FOOD, ENERGY, YOUR LIFE, AND MAYBE EVEN THE PLANET. BY DAVID FERRY

FOOD

H O W N O T T O WA S T E …

UP TO 40 PERCENT OF THE FOOD SUPPLY in America is wasted,

and not in some abstract Big Agriculture or restaurantindustry kind of way. A family of four wastes an average of $1,800 worth of food a year, according to the Natural Resources Defense Council. These three rules can help you turn that around:

BE REALISTIC WITH WHAT YOU’RE BUYING. People are

aspirational at the grocery store, says Dana Gunders, interim executive director of the anti-food-waste group ReFED. “They hope to cook more and eat better, and then life happens. By Wednesday, they’re ordering pizza and the food is rotting. Beware of overbuying, and plan for lazy nights. We all have them.”

GIVE LEFTOVERS A LIFT. Fun fact: Cas-

serole means “ah, nasty, not again” in French. Okay, not really. Regardless, don’t suffer through another one. Instead, enjoy these meals, which give life to leftovers.

PHOTOGRAPHS BY HANNAH WHITAKER

SAVE (AND SAVOR) YOUR SCR APS. Recipes (and food Instagram accounts) train you to eat the nice-looking parts of foods (broccoli crowns) while ditching the “ugly” parts (broccoli stems). Gunders has another name for those less “liked” parts: delicious.

THE SCRAP

THE TREAT

Cauliflower stalks

Cauliflower “rice.” In a food processor, pulse chopped stalks into a rice-like texture. Saute with butter.

Carrot or beet tops

Fresh pesto. Combine tops with pine nuts and grated Parmesan. In a food processor, blitz, then puree, drizzling in olive oil until saucelike. Season as you like.

Potato skins

Chips! Heat a pan with a quarter inch of oil over medium high. When the oil shimmers, add skins and cook till crisp.

Slightly expired eggs*

Mayo. In a blender, mix yolks, a little lemon juice, Dijon mustard, and salt. Add olive oil, drop by drop, until thick.

* PRO TIP: USE-BY DATES ARE ONLY SUGGESTIONS Except for baby formula, use-by dates on food don’t have to do with safety, and no regulatory body oversees them. Smell okay? Taste okay? It’s probably okay.

YOU HAVE

MAKE THIS

Leftover vegetables, a can of tomatoes, some slightly stale bread, eggs

Shakshuka. Heat tomatoes and veg in a pan till bubbling. Stir in some cumin, red-pepper flakes, salt, and pepper. Drop in the eggs, cover, and cook till the whites are set. Serve with toast.

Vegetables, meat, random fresh herbs, leftover grains, bottled dressing

A grain bowl. Toss the vegetables and meat in a little dressing; layer over the leftover grains. Microwave, then scatter herbs on top. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020 103

H O W N O T T O WA S T E …

CALORIES

If you’re trying to lose weight, or just not gain any, you have to watch out for wasteful, empty calories. These formerly heavier guys know that—and how to fight back. AVOID EDIBLE FORKS.

EASY ON THE PROTEIN BARS. “I LEA R N ED TO

SNACK SMARTER.

“I DON’T DO WHAT I CALL ‘V EHICLE CARBS’— FOOD WHERE THE WHOLE PURPOSE IS TO PUT OTHER FOOD INTO YOUR MOUTH. CHIPS, BUNS, TORTILLAS—THEY’RE JUST EDIBLE FORKS. AND YOU CONSCIOUSLY EAT SLOWER IF YOU’RE USING A REAL FORK.”

LIK E TH E M BECAUSE TH EY W E R E H ELPING M E M EET M Y FITN ESS G OA LS, BU T A LL OF A SU DDEN, I WAS BINGE-EATING TH E M. YOU CAN’T JUST MUNCH ON THEM, ESPECIALLY IF YOU’R E NOT R E A DING T H E L A BEL.”

“I AVOID ANY FOOD THAT YOU CAN’T HAVE JUST ONE OF: CHIPS, POPCORN—EVEN ‘HEALTHY’ PROTEIN POPCORN. THEY DON’T AFFECT YOUR APPETITE, THEY DON’T GIVE YOU THAT SATIATE D F E ELING, A N D YOU K E E P E ATING A N D E ATING T H E M.”

—JOSH HOHBIEN;

—NICK LAUSTRUP;

—DUSTIN HALL;

lost 150 pounds

H O W N O T T O WA S T E …

lost 105 pounds

PLASTIC

PEOPLE BUY 1 million plastic bottles—

per minute (and only about 23 percent are recycled). Yes, plastic is choking our oceans, lakes, and rivers. Microplastics are making their way into our seafood. And as if that weren’t bad enough, researchers believe that chemicals in all that plastic may disrupt endocrine activity, which can lead to lowered fertility and cancer. I thought I was pretty careful about plastic, but when I tracked my waste for a day, I was shocked to find it everywhere (toothpaste! gym shoes! beer cans!). For ways to cut back, I looked up Rob Greenfield, who wore all the trash he produced for 30 days in 2016. By the end, he was carrying 84 pounds of plastic bags, water bottles, and plastic-lined food containers. “I was barely able to move,” he says today. Most disturbing, he says, is single-use plastic. “Think about, say, a bag of potato chips. It takes five minutes to eat it. But that bag will be around for 500 years,” Greenfield says. “Does that make any sense?” It didn’t to him, which is why he’s aiming to cut plastic from his life entirely. You don’t have to go that far. Just pick your level—life’s hard; no judgment—and try his tips. 104 April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

ENTRY-LEV EL

Don’t just recycle old to-go containers: Consume fewer of them. Bring reusable ones to your usual takeout spot and have them put your meal in there. Cheap clothes are loaded with plasticky synthetic fabrics like nylon and polyester. Cotton feels better, anyway. (Ditto wool and cashmere.)

A DVA NCED Food packaging fills up trash bins—one more reason to avoid processed food. Use cloth bags for produce and choose items not packed in Styrofoam. Trawl Craigslist for “new” power tools— modern ones have many plastic parts. Better yet, chip in on one with your neighbor.

PRO

Clean up your bathroom. Shampoo, deodorant, and toothpaste are often packaged in and loaded with plastics. Turn to brands that don’t use them in their products. Consider bottle-free bars for shampoo and conditioner (Humankind makes some), and plastics-free cleaning detergents (like Method).

lost 317 pounds

H O W N O T T O WA S T E …

MONEY EVERYONE TELLS YOU to stop

buying coffee to save cash, and everyone, apparently, wants you to be angry and tired at work. Instead, keep your coffee and use your pleasant demeanor and abundant energy to knock out these cost savers. TODAY: Delete your saved payment info from e-commerce sites so that there’s a little “are you sure?” pause between you and the final purchase. THIS WEEK: Rethink meals that don’t mean much. Experiences like fine dinners make people happy, so keep them in the budget. But if you take home $20 an hour, is that crappy takeout worth two hours of work? THIS DECADE: Don’t buy (or rent) more house than you need. Extra square footage adds up to so many drains—energy, cleaning time, furnishings, searching for things you’ve lost. Who needs a home theater in 2020?

HOW NOT TO WASTE…

MENTAL ENERGY There’s this Silicon Valley story about “shaving the yak” that goes a little like this . . .

“I should clear out the closet today,” you think. “Damn, I still need to build those shelves in the garage to store everything. I’ll have to go to Home Depot to buy some lumber. “But Larry has my miter saw! “Shoot, I can’t get my saw back until I return the stuffed Tibetan-mastiff doll my son borrowed from him, though. “And we haven’t returned it because some of the stuffing fell out and we need to get some yak hair to restuff it.” And the next thing you know, you’re at the zoo, shaving a yak, all so you can clear out your closet.

Prop styling: Elizabeth Press/Judy Casey. Makeup: Angela Di Carlo.

H O W N O T T O WA S T E …

YOUR LIFE

STACEY STAATERMAN MEETS a lot of people at the top of their professional life—and who are also in the pits. She’s a career strategist and coach who spends her days advising workers who feel like they’re wasting their life. “Is there value in what I’m doing?” her clients ask. “Am I wasting my best years in this career I don’t love?” For these folks, Staaterman pulls out a homework assignment, one she completed 17 years ago when she felt unmoored and directionless. “I ask people to write on a single page what they want their life to be like: a paragraph on your home, family and

friendships, work, hobbies, mind, body, and spiritual life—anything that matters to them,” she says. “Notice that money is not on the list. Money is a tool, a means to something.” Look at the list and rank what matters most to you. Then, instead of trying to fit your priorities into your life, build your life around them. If time with your family is key, then maybe the hustle isn’t worth it. If you need money now, then overtime might be the right call. If you’re skeptical, Staaterman’s one-pager from 2003 is tacked to her office wall, and she’s still following it. “You can take care of your situation now or wait until you’re nearly dead,” she says. Because life, indeed, is a terrible thing to waste.

YAK SHAVING is the enemy of

us all, says tech entrepreneur Seth Godin, author of This Is Marketing. Thinking your way to inaction wastes time, energy, and productivity. To avoid it, Godin says, focus on what’s in your control now. If you’re at Home Depot, stop and evaluate your project: What is the single achievable goal you can reach today? Not tomorrow. Not next Monday. Not after you get your saw back from Larry. Then do what you must to hit that project target. You may be back at Home Depot tomorrow, but at least it’s better than yak shaving. MEN’S HEALTH

/ April 2020 105

ENTED BY

WE LIKE HAVING SEX. Some of us more than

others, and some of us in more experimental or adventurous or kinky ways than others. But if there is one clear takeaway from the 43 questions we asked Americans of every age, ethnicity, and geographic region earlier this year, it’s that we’re having sex, and we like it. Along with Women’s Health, we polled 1,467 adults via SurveyMonkey on how they’re navigating this brave new world

of sex and relationships. We learned who’s satisfied and who’s not, who’s having the most orgasms and, uh, who’s not, and—for the love of all things holy—who’s relying on astrology to determine compatibility. (To the 10 percent of people who do this: How’s that going?) We learned that if millennials are trapped in a dry spell, then 30-somethings are on a mission to reverse that trend. And we

learned that nearly a quarter of all boomers—yup, those 50- and 60-year-olds—say they’ve had a threesome. So yeah, we learned a lot, and you will, too. Plus, our friends over at the dating app Bumble contributed some eye-opening stats of their own. So before we kill the #mood, let’s get started, shall we? (As long as you’re okay with that.) ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY TEMI ADEBOWALE ILLUSTRATIONS BY DOMINIC M C KENZIE

How OFTEN Do You Have SEX? EVERY DAY

How Many

SEXUAL PARTNERS

Have You Had?

NEVER

13%

LESS THAN ONCE A MONTH

2 OR 3 TIMES A WEEK

18%

25%

ONCE A MONTH

ONCE A WEEK

17%

2 OR 3 TIMES A MONTH

17%

More than a third of people in their 20s and 30s are doing it at least two or three times a week, proving the so-called millennial sex drought may not actually be a thing. Meanwhile, more than 40% of people 50 or over are doing it less than once a month (or never).

Are you HITCHED? In 2019, the average age at first marriage in the U. S. was around 30 for men and 28 for women. In 1960, it was closer to 23 and 20, respectively.

1960

2020

MARRIED

72%

Do You Feel

HORNY

Every Day? MEN

48%

46%

108 April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

ONLY ONE OR TWO? That seemed low, especially given that some peo-

ple tend to inflate their number, research shows. We wondered if anyone had downplayed their own sexcapades, even though the survey was anonymous. So we checked in with Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author of Tell Me What You Want, who offered up this explanation: “The options that are available to us for sexually interacting with others are evolving,” he says. “For example, as sexual norms have loosened, participation in activities like oral and anal sex has increased. The bigger question is really what ‘counts’ as sex or as having had a sexual partner. Different people may define these things in very different ways.”

How Often Do You ORGASM During Sex? MEN

WOMEN

57%

USUALLY, BUT NOT ALWAYS

Are

You SATISFIED With Your SEX LIFE? PEOPLE IN THEIR 20s

25% 6% 4% 7%

IT’S A 50/50 TOSS-UP SOMETIMES, BUT NOT OFTEN NEVER!!!!!!

27% 31% 14% 17% 10%

Congrats, 40-something men: 68% of you orgasm every time you have sex—more than any other demographic.

VS. PEOPLE 50 or over

The horniness divide: 58% of men in their 20s feel horny every day, compared with 17% of women in the same age group.

The most common answer among all respondents put together. (Second place: 3 to 6.)

EVERY TIME

WOMEN

18%

12 or

On a scale from 1 to 5, how people in their 20s versus those 50 or over rate their overall satisfaction. (Hey, at least we’re all more satisfied than not!)

How Important Is It to Know Your Partner’s ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? in their 30s who agreed it says a lot about character and compatibility. 10% of 20-somethings, 7% of people 50 or over felt the same.

How EXPERIMENTAL Is Your Sex Life?

Who’s

YOU NAME IT, I’LL TRY IT.

52%

13%

Had a

34%

IT DEPENDS ON MY MOOD AND WHO I’M WITH.

Twenty-somethings are a whole lot more experimental than their parents’ generation. Only 24% of them said they’re “vanilla,” compared with 46% of people 50 or over.

20s

16%

30s

29%

27%

Are You Hetero-FLEXIBLE?

40s

22%

How Would You Feel About a Threesome

IN THE FUTURE? IT’S BASICALLY MY LIFE’S GOAL

25% I’M NOT SURE

18% NO, THANK YOU

50% PREFER NOT TO ANSWER

3% 31% of 30-somethings said they’d be open to it, should the opportunity arise.

Your Partner Wants to Film You Two Having Sex.

ARE YOU DOWN? 20s

40s

In their 20s

50 or over

79% 91%

29% of straight-identifying 30-somethings said they’ve been attracted to people of their own gender, and 10% have experimented sexually with them at least once.

30s

29%

Percentages of people who are into it

who you ask. Whereas 21% of straight-identifying 20-somethings said they wouldn’t rule out a same-sex attraction, only 9% of their 50-something counterparts said the same. Lehmiller says it isn’t that more young people are bi-curious: “As stigma declines, it becomes safer to acknowledge attractions that, in another time and place, might have been considered ‘deviant,’ ” he explains. “So it’s not necessarily the case that people’s attractions themselves have changed, just that they’re more willing to openly discuss them.”

30s

40s

WATCH PORN?

EVERY DAY 8% 2 TO 3 TIMES A WEEK 16% ONCE A WEEK 8% 2 TO 3 TIMES A MONTH 9% ONCE A MONTH 6% LESS THAN ONCE A MONTH 16% NEVER 35% PREFER NOT TO ANSWER 3%

15% of women in their 30s watch porn two to three times a week, compared with 33% of men in the same age group.

Do You Do BUTT Stuff at Least Once a Week?

30s 40s

Men and women feel differently about doing it on camera: 32% of men said they’d be into it, compared with 18% of women.

36%

43%

How Often Do You

20s

50s+

For men, 40 to 49 is the peak decade for penis rings. (20% of guys in their 40s own them.) Guys in their 40s are also the most likely to own a prostate massager (9%), and guys in their 50s are the most likely to own a butt plug (11%).

IN THEIR

14%

51%

44%

IN THEIR 20s

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE STRAIGHT? Depends

IF THE OPPORTUNITY AROSE, I WOULDN’T SAY NO

21%

Men: Any Sex TOYS?

People who identify as straight

50s +

53% of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or pansexual have had a three-way, compared with 18% of straight-identifying people.

23%

I’M VANILLA.

50s +

MEN WOMEN

13% 14% 7% 7%

10% 7% 2% 3%

7% of all people engage in anal sex (or other forms of butt play) at least once a week. MEN’S HEALTH

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Are You Using PROTECTION? EVERY TIME MY ABILITY TO PERFORM

MY BODY

USUALLY, BUT NOT ALWAYS

54% Your biggest insecurity in the bedroom

ABOUT HALF THE TIME

24%

SOMETIMES, BUT NOT OFTEN

12% 10%

MY SEXUAL DESIRES

NEVER

19% 11% 6% 15% 50%

MY ABILITY TO ORGASM

Only 31.48% of people in their 20s use some form of protection (condoms, PrEP, dental dam, etc.) every time they have sex.

Folks of all ages said their body is their biggest insecurity in the bedroom—more so than sexual desires, ability to perform, or ability to orgasm.

SEX Ed

STIs?

The average score for how well people said their sex ed prepared them for sex in the real world:

People aged 30 to 39 are the most satisfied with their sex-ed experience, giving it an average rating of 2.43 out of 5. (Yeah, still not great.) Folks over 50 are the least satisfied, giving an average rating of just 1.9 out of 5.

The percentage of people across all age groups who said they’ve had a sexually transmitted infection.

THE BUMBLE DISPATCH It’s hard out there for an online dater. Bumble polled more than 8,000 users to find out and eventually meet IRL.

During the date Before the date

Where do you typically go on a first date?

What do you consider a deal breaker if you see it on

After the date

DRINKS AT A BAR NO PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES

NONCOMPATIBLE LIFESTYLE CHOICES ALL GROUP PHOTOS

ALL PHOTOS ARE SELFIES

39% 26%

OUT FOR DINNER

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How long do you normally date a Bumble match before having the “Defining the Relationship” talk? 1 MONTH

3 MONTHS

42%

19% OTHER

RELIGIOUS AFFILIATION OTHER

CASUAL COFFEE DATE

SOMEONE’S HOME

39% 4%

RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY

11% LONGER THAN 3 MONTHS

I AVOID THE CONVERSATION ENTIRELY

Do You Ask for

AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT? EVERY TIME

MOST OF THE TIME

SOME OF THE TIME

33%

Who Takes THE LEAD During Sex?

14%

22%

MEN

11% 11%

NEVER NOT SURE. THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD OF AFFIRMATIVE CONSENT.

RARELY

Of all the age groups, people under 30 are the most likely to ask for it every time they have sex. People 50 or over are the least familiar with affirmative consent; 13% hadn’t heard of it before taking our survey. (Need a refresher? See below!)

WOMEN

56%

14%

MY PARTNER

42%

35%

MY PARTNER AND I DO IT EQUALLY

44%

Our 70-somethings are all about equality: 46% said they share leadership duties with their partner, more than any other age bracket.

FOR ALL YOU FOLKS who haven’t heard of

How Interested in an

affirmative consent (looking at you, 50+ peeps): It’s when a person actively and voluntarily communicates “yes” to a sexual act. You always need to obtain it (to the 33% of people who ask for it every time: great job!)—even if your partner has said yes to the same thing previously. If asking for consent feels painfully unsexy, Gigi Engle, certified sex coach, sex educator, and author of All the F*cking Mistakes, suggests the following script: YOU: Would you like to fool around? THEM: Yes. YOU: What do you like? I would love to kiss you on your x. Is that okay? THEM: Yes. YOU: Is it okay if I take your shirt off ? Your pants? THEM: Yes.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

I’M IN ONE RIGHT NOW!

IT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.

I SEE UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES.

14%

NOT VERY. ONLY IF MY PARTNER IS.

NOT AT ALL.

68%

A WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP?

Nearly 70% of all respondents said they’re not into it—although 7% of people

Do You Believe in

How Comfortable Are You Voicing Your

SOUL MATES?

NEEDS

43%

SUPER COMFORTABLE

21%

22%

IT DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION

I WANT TO BE OPEN, BUT I STRUGGLE

I’D NEVER SAY THEM ANYONE

About a quarter of people 50 or over said they want to be 11% said they’d never speak their desires to anyone at all.

% 70 SAY THEY DO.

Awww.

SURVEY METHODOLOGY: Men’s Health and Women's Health magazines conducted this survey of 1,467 adults in the United States on January 8, 2020, using SurveyMonkey Audience.

MEN’S HEALTH

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111

AND ANOTHER THING!

Your Podcast A-List

When a great podcast makes a recommendation, you should listen, right? So we asked a guy behind our favorite show for his top underrated podcast. Then the producer of that series told us her top unsung series, and on went the show. BY PAUL KITA ADAM RUTHERFORD,

MEN’S HEALTH RECOMMENDS . . .

COHOST OF THE CURIOUS CASES,

RECOMMENDS . . .

THE HOTTEST TAKE A staffer from the sports-and-culture website The Ringer offers a wild opinion and then defends it with vigor for seven minutes. Just a few: Home Alone is not a Christmas movie. Toilets should have foot pedals. No one over 40 should celebrate a birthday. Pop one in if you need a quick work-grind break.

BEHIND THE BASTARDS “Never has human shittiness been so hilarious,” Rutherford says. Host Robert Evans delivers audio essays about the worst people in history. “There’s a lot of white supremacists, cult leaders, lethal corporations, quack doctors, maniacal despots—but every one is a shitty grifter.” Enjoy!

CHRIS RYAN, EDITORIAL DIRECTOR OF THE RINGER, RECOMMENDS . . .

AZEEM AZHAR, HOST OF EXPONENTIAL VIEW, RECOMMENDS . . .

TALKING POLITICS

THE CURIOUS CASES OF RUTHERFORD & FRY

CATHERINE CARR, PRODUCER OF TALKING POLITICS, RECOMMENDS . . .

EXPONENTIAL VIEW WITH AZEEM AZHAR

Geneticist Adam Rutherford and mathematician Hannah Fry tag-team conventional wisdom and common conundrums with the help of authoritative guests. Are humans really the dominant species? Why does food that’s bad for you taste so good? Bonus: Your kids will like it, too.

“Azeem is a tech brain with access to some amazing guests,” says Carr. For starters, listen to his 2019 interview with Tony Blair on technology regulation and then check out the Fortnite episode. This is your dinner-party-conversation fodder.

Men’s Health (ISSN 1054-4836) Vol. 35, No. 3 is published 10 times per year, monthly except combined issues in January/February and July/August and when future combined issues are published that count as two issues as indicated on the issue’s cover, by Hearst at 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019. Steven R. Swartz, President & Chief Executive Officer; William R. Hearst III, Chairman; Frank A. Bennack, Jr., Executive Vice Chairman. Hearst Magazines, Inc.: Troy Young, President; Debi Chirichella, Executive Vice President, Chief Financial Officer and Treasurer; John A. Rohan Jr., Senior Vice President, Finance; Catherine A. Bostron, Secretary. Copyright 2020 by Hearst Magazines, Inc. All rights reserved. Men’s Health is a registered trademark of Hearst Magazines, Inc. Periodicals postage paid at New York, NY and at additional mailing offices. Postmaster: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address changes to Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500. IN CANADA: Postage paid at Gateway, Mississauga, Ontario; Canada Post International Publication Mail (Canadian Distribution) Sales Agreement No. 40012499. Postmaster (Canada): Send returns and address changes to Men’s Health magazine, P.O. Box 927, Stn Main, Markham ON L3P 9Z9 (GST# R122988611). Mailing Lists: From time to time we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such mailings by postal mail, please send your current mailing label or exact copy to: Men’s Health, Mail Preference Center, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA, 51593. You can also visit preferences.hearstmags.com to manage your preferences and opt out of receiving marketing offers by email. Customer Service: Visit service.menshealth.com or write to Men’s Health Customer Service, P.O. Box 6000, Harlan, IA 51593-1500.

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April 2020 / MEN’S HEALTH

Sam Kaplan/Trunk Archive

Ryan says it’s “possibly the sanest, smartest, and most slyly amusing politics podcast.” Cambridge University professor David Runciman hosts equally important-sounding guests, but the talks never veer into lecture drone. And they offer what most political podcasts don’t: context.

Raise one TO THOSE WHO NEVER L E T Y O U D O W N.