Foreword In these uncertain times, loving and feeling loved might sometimes seem lacking. With everything that’s going on in the world, it might seem hard to show and feel loved. But that is precisely why it is all the more important to hold on to it. This is because love is a force that can move mountains – it can change and restructure entire cultures and traditions, for as the late Maya Angelou once said, “Love recognizes no barriers.” That is why I invite you, dear reader, to leaf through the pages of this magazine so that you may discover and re-discover the different shades of love that our fellow Tamaraws have shared. Let their stories and anecdotes inspire you to love fiercely and deeply so that it may give you strength and courage to face all that comes your way, no matter what.
Rea Payongayong
Editor-In-Chief SY 2021-2022
Love is an infinite thrum of feelings that one can never fully decipher. This prevailing emotion to love and to be loved comes in many faces, shapes, and forms. It goes beyond the nostalgic butterflies and the feeling of tingling emotions from the inside out. It is like a bouquet of sweet flower where each bloom holds a different representation, but each has a unique encompassing effect ranging from philia, storge, eros, to philautia kind of love. As you delve yourself to the enchanting stories of love, heartaches, and miseries in this magazine, my dear readers, it is with beaming joy that I present to you this year’s digital Tambayan issue of the Features section. With the help of every hardworking and dedicated staffer who has poured their heart and soul for the success of this folio, our vision came to fruition. Through our collective passion and pursuit, every piece in this folio holds a special place in our heart. If you have been too tired of getting your heart broken or too scared to take a leap of faith, I implore you, wade through each sheet and feel the various forms of empowering love. Flip each page and feel the sensational warmth of love as this season of togetherness and happiness fill the air.
Ma Emilia Nicole Bertulfo Features Editor SY 2021-2022
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About TamBayan 2022 As FEU Advocate transitions to the virtual realm and celebrates the season of love, the Features section brings to life stories of love in this year’s TamBayan folio, marked and etched in history as Feature’s special digital issue in a time of a pandemic. This year’s revival issue is centered upon the ‘Spectrum of Love’ encompassing and celebrating all kinds and forms of love – for oneself, significant others, family, and friends. Through the collective love letters from the FEU Community and burning passions and pursuits of the Features staffers, TamBayan 2022 features various forms of relationships from familial, friendship, and romantic ones where at the core of it all – genuine love transcends in a sea of heartaches and miseries.
Table of Contents Familial...........................1 Friendship Part one........................3 Part two........................7 Love Letters from the FEU Community......................5 Romantic...........................9 FEU Advocate.......................11 TamKomiks..........................12 TamPipi............................13
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The Enchanting Encanto: On Breaking Generational Traumas By: Mikaela Anne A. Laxa and Samantha Cheyenne Gail D. Pagunuran
Encanto, the newest Disney animated movie, gave more than just a last song syndrome and entertainment for kids and kids at heart. It somehow reminded us of all of our families' strengths and weaknesses and how they affect our happiness, growth, and relationships with other people.
Their family dynamic portrayed how trauma can be passed down from one generation to another in seemingly harmless ways, when the truth is the younger generation often takes the brunt of it. As a mother figure, Julieta showed that parents can unlearn what they have been familiar with for the sake of their children’s well-being, and that it is never too late to correct errors made.
that Camilo feels unnecessary pressure to make the townspeople happy. The trauma responses in the two generations can actually be traced back to Abuela. On the night they were given a miracle, her husband died, leaving her to take care of the newborn triplets alone, along with leading the town. She never had a proper time to grieve because of her crucial role within the Encanto, and of her crippling fear of losing their home again, anything remotely negative within the family gets ignored.
Uncovering realities we are all not ready to acknowledge and When she’s unhappy, well, the resolve, the movie highlighted temperature gets weird Madrigals’ extended family, slowly showing the conflicts within their Being able to affect the weather casita. and temperature around the Encanto, Pepa Madrigal’s life Truth is, she can heal you experiences provided a sure-fire way with a meal to develop emotional repression and the tendency to always please the Assuming the responsibilities of people around her–two of the most being a chef, healer, and mother, common trauma responses. Julieta Madrigal developed the tendency to be over-responsible. Her Never allowed to be upset causes two older daughters, Isabela and a hurricane, never allowed to worry Luisa, took after their mother in the causes a typhoon, Pepa eventually way daughters naturally do. passed her trauma response to her two children–Dolores and Camilo. As the eldest daughter, Isabela Dolores never spoke of what she felt disregarded her happiness for the for Mariano. She went along with the Madrigals’. Striving to be perfect and family’s plans, learning from her doing what is best for the family mother that they are not allowed to seem to be a trait of eldest be upset no matter the situation. daughters. Similarly, Luisa working without rest is evidently a trait she Similarly, Camilo is canonically a ripped straight from her mother’s people pleaser, who prides himself book. on making people laugh. As the line in the Family Madrigal song goes, Everything seemed to have “My primo Camilo won’t stop until he changed when Mirabel came into the makes you smile today,” evidence family and received no gifts. Julieta
This is an important factor in debunking generational trauma within the movie. It showed how the problem that children feel can probably be traced back to previous generations who may have consciously or unconsciously passed down their personal traumas to their children.
families– especially of the common Filipino households– when it is supposedly a beautiful value of reciprocity.
Additionally, Abanes believes that parents providing for the needs of their children is a basic common decency and a virtue of parenthood. “Our parents chose to have us in the first place, and that is what they signed up for once they decided to raise a child,” she furthered.
The Breadwinner Filling of the Sandwich Generation By Jemina Eunice G. De Leon & Angelic Mizpah Chaste C. Bulanhagui
Change has always been humankind’s steep hill on the path of progression. For Filipinos, it involves making choices with traditional, social, and moral ties of no small measure– keeping the culture of the sandwich generation well and alive today. Caught in between aging parents and growing children, middle-aged adults’ responsibility of providing physical and financial support continues to be a reality for the majority of Filipinos in the name of utang na loob— touching on a sense of kinsmanship and of gratefulness that does not diminish with returning the favor, effectively binding one to whom they owe this debt to.
An Unspoken Rule Utang na loob is not necessarily a bad thing. According to a study by Angelo Gundran, et. al. of Colegio de San Juan de Letran-Manila, it is a self-imposed obligation that seeks to sustain, strengthen, and honor relationships as a sign of respect. It does, however, feed the sandwich generation too big a bite to chew and leave them bending over backward to sustain their
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can be seen throughout the movie assuring Mirabel she didn’t need to prove anything to be considered a part of the family. She made sure to let her children feel as if they need to give their all into serving the town.
The problem lies in the negative emotions that may arise as the burden becomes too heavy to bear, as well as its socio-economic consequences due to wages that are inadequate to sustain more than just the nuclear family unit.
They say he saw the future, one day he disappeared Bruno, the only son of Abuela, has the gift of prophecy that frightens his family and community. He became the black sheep of the Madrigals that resulted in his disappearance.“We Don’t Talk About Bruno” reveals how families avoid confrontations and choose to distance themselves from relatives who are different–always leading to feeling not good enough. There will always be expectations from you that feel so unreachable while obligating you to hide your true self. Plus, few have also been in the shoes of Mirabel–having no gift, being compared with the rest of the family, and constantly
looking for ways to make them proud. Casa Madrigal breaking in Mirabel’s eyes represents the effects of not appreciating relatives for what they are. Abuela blamed Mirabel for everything–increasing cracks, Bruno leaving, Luisa losing power, and Isabel being out of control. Sometimes, the thoughts following these treatments bring out the best in us yet also increase emotional damage. To fix our home and ourselves, we must have the courage to seek help, just like when Mirabel went to Bruno. Despite our mistakes or shortcomings, truth, acceptance, and forgiveness are essential to a harmonious familial relationship. Just like Abuela said, “The miracle is you, not some gift, just you.”
Each family member of the Madrigals was a victim of circumstances as they did everything to protect their family’s welfare. May this movie remind you that it is never too late to break your family’s generational traumas. Even if family is vital in your lives, you are free to choose what is best and healthy for you and to fix what is broken. dynamic, Abanes was able to observe the good side of it all, saying “it avoids the occurrences of isolation, especially in this time wherein we are stuck in our home.” In her eyes, her parents made the choice to take care of two generations of their family because, ultimately, the Filipino familial ties make all members of the family stronger despite challenges. “As a first-time parent [with me], they needed the guidance of their parents,” she shared. It was simply the way of the Filipinos.
This raises concern towards parents, especially single mothers, who had not planned for bringing up children beforehand– as Excelsa Yet inasmuch as it is a burden, Tongson of the University of the most Filipinos think of it as nothing Philippines had found. more than a duty to family– the Over a period of 20 years, from carrying on of customary familial attitude as those before them have 1990 to 2010, the country has seen an Sandwich generation is a done. The burnout breadwinners may increase of females in the sandwich common dynamic, especially in feel has not stopped most from generation as household heads with the Philippines. It causes or without partners. Despite the giving their life and blood into work. differences in circumstance, there is a financial stress to the parent as need for both– and for all members they happen to serve two The Financial Impact of the sandwich generation– to be masters. This constitutes the fact Parents who chose to live with this recognized as persons in need of that while sandwich generation dynamic are in a financial crunch support. However, at this time, even promotes togetherness in a between caring for their children and rigorous discourse is welcome. family, it squeezes the parent their aging parents. But they are not with problems of finance and the only ones who can feel this Squeezed in the Middle emotions that can also affect impact; the children are experiencing both sides of the bread. In the Philippines, the situation is this as well. much more dire with the covering Dayne Abanes, a 4th-year Medical up of this issue under the pretext of Technology student, is a child of this cultural obligations, so much so that dynamic. According to her, the idea there is a non-availability of about this group– of repaying her parents’ sacrifices information would be rewarding but if she were to effectively allowing them to go bear children, she would make sure unnoticed and unsupported. that her kids do not feel like they owe Despite the negative repercussions her anything. wrought by the sandwich generation
By John Vincent C. Cruz and Angelic Mizpah Chaste C. Bulanhagui Despite the shared predicament, each student has their distinct take on the situation—from being comfortable to feeling uneasy as the challenges of academic, physical, and social environments unfold. It is more important now than ever that concerns are addressed, and the peace is kept at home moving forward in the new normal.
Behind Closed Doors “Toxic, exhausting, suffocating,” described fourth-year Medical Technology student Yve*, with regards to the long period of confinement at home. “Almost everyday na lang ata may nangyayaring worst scenario sa bahay namin kaya hindi ko na alam kung alin ‘yung pinaka-worst (Almost everyday the worst scenario happens at our house so I do not know which [situation] was the worst), she added. For her, the atmosphere at home is not brought on by isolated cases of negativity, but one that stems from untoward attitudes that inevitably do not make for a good learning environment. "To sum it up na lang ay pare-parehas lang naman ang issue, at iyon ay ang pagiging toxic ng bawat isa sa bahay in a way na hindi nila kino-consider 'yung nararamdaman ng bawat isa. Masyado sila makasarili at walang pakialam sa nararamdaman ng iba kasi pakiramdam nila ay sila lagi yung tama, na tama lahat ng ginagawa at sinasabi nila (To sum it up, the issue is just the same, and that is each one being toxic in the house in a way that does not consider other people's
When the week-long suspension of classes turned into an indefinite closure of educational institutions spanning across the country, students were left with no choice but to adjust not only to virtual learning but also to a situation barely a handful have experienced prior: receiving education in-house.
“Definitely, it can also affect the person’s day-to-day life and quality of life. Isa diyan is ‘yung minsan hindi ka makabalik sa daily routine mo. S’yempre, katulad nung going to the school before, tapos bigla ka nakulong na online learning (Definitely, it can also affect the person’s day-to-day life and quality of life. One of those is not being able to go back to your daily routine. Of course, like going to the school before, then suddenly you’re trapped in online learning),” she added. She shared the common symptoms of cabin fever include irregular sleeping patterns, sporadic eating habits, and moderate to extreme irritability. As a result, students tend to rely on unhealthy coping mechanisms such as emotional dumping online and dependence on vices such as alcohol. Dr. Guevarra-Hocson also cited family disputes as a contributing factor to the cabin fever felt by students. “Unfortunately, ‘yung iba kaaway naman ‘yung magulang. May mga somewhat hindi pagkakasundo (Unfortunately, others [students] have problems with their parents. There is somewhat conflicts between the two).” Given these circumstances, students have a rough time dealing with their responsibilities. In addition to the suffocating atmosphere of isolation, they also have to face their issues with family members in the household.
feelings. They are much too selfish and do not care about how others feel because they think they are always right, that everything they do and say is right)."
Establishing Solutions
Cabin fever refers to the common response of people being confined for an extensive period of time. Despite not being recognized as a psychological illness, its adverse impact on the emotional, mental, and behavioral aspects of a person can be alarming.
For Dr. Guevarra-Hocson, having clear conversations with parents is crucial in making sure that they are seen and heard at home. Dedicating at least 15 minutes of their time to talk through their feelings is beneficial in establishing good and healthy relationships with family members.
With the limitations caused by the global health crisis, including isolation, people are likely to develop cabin fever, especially in hostile and toxic environments where they feel lonely, unsafe, and unheard.
“But not all parents are like that, but usually we go for that communication. So you build rapport, you go for observation, you express your feelings, your needs and requests”, she advised.
Given that life goes on and students have to focus on their studies, having cabin fever can stifle their day-to-day activities as there is no fine line between responsibilities at school and home.
Last January 2022, the FEU Guidance and Counselling recalibrated their services, including TeleWellbeing, a project started in 2018 to help students cope with their stress and problems, as well as breaking the stigma and malpractice on dealing with matters related to mental health.
In the Lens of a Professional Although unacknowledged as a mental illness, the feelings of restlessness, illness, the feelings of restlessness, isolation, and hopelessness– along with a disrupted routine and concentration– are realities that can be caused by cabin fever, says Dr. Sheila Guevarra-Hocson, Director of the University’s Guidance and Counseling.
“It’s an online counseling platform for academic, personal, social, and career concerns wherein they can go for counseling for every day-to-day problem”, she explained. She said that when the pandemic started, appointments were increasing—and naturally, they had to cater to the needs of the students.
Consequently, they improved the flaws found in the previous years and revamped the project. Unlike before, the service is now available in the TAMS app, including the counseling notes, results of assessments, and other documents.
Hopeless Situation While trying to fix and resolve conflicts is the best thing to do, there are special instances when the damage has already been made–as no amount of compromise or therapy can help mend broken relationships. Unhealed trauma can manifest throughout a person’s life, and constantly dealing with toxic family members will only halt the progression. As much as each may hope to fulfill the romanticized notion of a complete, healthy family relationship, sometimes there is simply no way to return once the bridge has been broken— and there is no shame in that. From Yve’s perspective, it is impossible to win over her family’s demands— a battle lost from the get-go. “Kung titingnan mo naman sa kahit anong anggulo ay ikaw talaga ‘yung tama, wala ka magagawa kun’di tanggapin na lang na ikaw ang mali sa kanilang paningin. Hindi ka mananalo sa kanila, at wala kang karapatan itama ang mali nila (If you look at it from any angle and you are in the right, there’s nothing you can do but to accept that you are wrong in their eyes. You will not win over them, and you have no right to
Illustrated by Mary Vel Custodio
correct them),” she expressed, justifying her decision to not air out her sentiments. Yve added, “hindi na lang ako nagsasalita para hindi na lumaki pa ‘yung problema. Tanggap lang nang tanggap kumbaga kasi alam kong hindi naman ako papakinggan at maiintindihan (I do not speak so the problem will not get bigger. [I] accept and accept because I know they will not listen and understand me).” Open communication is crucial in solving most problems, including those with our family members. However, comprehension is also a key element in ensuring that the needs of both parties are met, and the lack of such component will ultimately worsen the situation. Students should have access to a healthy space conducive to their learning experience, and parents must learn how to compromise with the needs of their children to maintain a harmonious relationship at home. However, this does not apply to all—as even reconciliation is not enough to fix what was already broken, and only time will heal the wounds and trauma accumulated from toxic households. *The name of the student has been changed to protect their identity.
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Much like waves in the sea and tides in the ocean, concepts such as love and gender are ever-changing, continuously shifting through one lifetime. Born after a universe that is still expanding and developing, humans are also creatures of change–continuously evolving in hopes of reaching their ultimate selves. For centuries, cisgenderism and heterosexuality were ingrained in the fiber of every human society. Kings are meant for queens, presidents are meant for first ladies, husbands are meant for wives, and boyfriends are meant for girlfriends. Anyone who deviated from the norm was tagged as an outlaw or a misfit, shunned from the community until they repent. Until recently, it was not safe for queer couples to hold hands in the street or make families of their own. Even now, those who continue to defy society’s standards live in perpetual fear of being mocked and denied their basic human rights. Like many who came before him, Xyrome Namiza’s journey through accepting his gender expression and sexuality was full of bumps along the road. Now on his Fourth Year of Interdisciplinary Studies, Namiza spent a great deal of his life wondering why he did not want to act like many of the boys his age. “Growing up, people always call me malamya (frail) because I was a taong-bahay (homebody) as my parents don’t allow me to play outside. When I was in high school, I was exposed to lots
... of teenage boys who fit the standards of how guys should act,” Namiza shared in an interview. According to him, he questioned his identity because he did not fit in any of the boxes society has laid out for him and his peers. His deviation to what he assumed was “normal” started his descent into questioning his sexuality as well. Having a girlfriend in senior high school seemed ordinary–until he caught himself also liking a guy. So, Namiza did what every Gen Z child would have done given the situation: he turned to the internet. What he saw made him realize concepts that were not taught in the four corners of the classroom, he was introduced to the notion of SOGIE (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression) and he was able to reconstruct the black and white image of what sexuality is in his mind. However, the road to self-actualization is not an easy one, and it is more difficult to unlearn years of homophobic education and beliefs that were instilled in him. Along with wrapping his head around new ideas was learning to let go of the old ones that were holding him back.
“My main struggle, of course, is fully accepting who I am… I dealt with it by educating myself and surrounding myself with people who are either members of the LGBTQIA+ community or an ally,” he said. Namiza is definitely not the first person to struggle through embracing his true self, and his experience is not among the worst, but he can be one of the last ones to experience this internal battle. When society stops making pre-made boxes and shoving every newborn baby in them is the time little boys like Namiza stop questioning whether they are “manly” enough from such a young age. As his call to everyone who experienced or currently experiences the same thing, Namiza said, “There is nothing wrong with you. Take your time. Remember that you can take as much time as you need in order to fully accept yourself and eventually go out of the closet. There will be lots of pressure, and you’ll encounter people who will try to out you and take that opportunity away from you, but always remember that it is always your decision to make. You don’t owe anyone an explanation about who you are. Celebrate yourself and the best is yet to be.”
Love at First Swipe: Stories of Online Dating There are many ways to find love and your significant other. Whether you meet them while you are out for a coffee run or studying in the library, or even meet them when you were young. With the advancement of technology, you can now meet your potential partner online.
Through applications such as Tinder, Bumble, LitMatch, and more, finding love is made easier with just a swipe. With the help of social media, we are more connected, and even so, find love that could sprout with just one message.
Love found through the screens It was the 13th of November 2020 when “Tonyo”, a second-year IABF student was drunk and “fooling around” and decided to chat “Marites”, his classmate. “For the sake ng pagpapapansin… para lang makapagpapansin doon sa taong ‘yon. So after that, nagtuloy-tuloy na until umabot dito (I did it for the sake of being noticed so that we would just have interactions with that person. After that, the encounter continued until we reached this point),” he reasoned. For Marites and Tonyo, falling in love was all unprecedented. “Hindi ko ine-expect na magkakajowa ako.
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Truly, it is due time for society to accept that humans are designed to change–just like the world we live in, just like the stars in the sky and the waves of the ocean. Things like love and gender are two of the things that make people happiest and most seen, which is why people like Namiza should be allowed to exist and flourish without fear. Sometimes, boyfriends are for girlfriends, and sometimes, boyfriends are for boyfriends as well.
Illustrated by Shiena Sanchez
By Jemina Eunice G. De Leon & Yuichi P. Desquitado
I swear kasi ayoko din talaga (I did interview, they were in the middle of not expect that I will have a partner. I a fight and Marites was on the verge swear because I really do not want it of ending their relationship. in the first place),” she explained. There were many times when At one point in March 2021, Tonyo and Marites thought it was Marites wished to cut their budding time to end things. Tonyo thinks his relationship short due to her worst experience was during their perceived impossibility of them “talking stage” when the realization meeting at all, but Marites was not struck him that Marites is still talking prepared with what Tonyo is about to to other guys. “It broke me into draw, a reverse card. He invited pieces,” he said. Marites to meet for the first time at Marites mentioned that she the Enchanted Kingdom and did not expect to have their feelings evolve wanted to end what was still blossoming for the both of them. from there. “Sarili ko na talaga yung problema. “Noong una ko siyang na-meet, … Sabi ko, ‘huwag na nating ituloy ito everything fell into place (The first kasi masasaktan ka lang sa’kin’ (The time I met her, … everything fell into problem is with myself. I told him, ‘we place),” Tonyo fondlingly shared. He should stop this or you will get hurt’),” puts himself to be very lucky of she tells. But it was Tonyo’s steady will meeting Marites because out of all to pursue her that persevered in the the odds, zero to trillion according to end. Tonyo, a “boy from Batangas'' got the chance to meet a “girl from Pasig”, The Lovers’ Advice: from one to and the only thing that connected another them is that they are both from Far Tonyo emphasized that before Eastern University (FEU) taking the divinginto the world of online dating, same classes. especially when pursuing someone, you have to know for yourself and be Mishaps in online dating sure that your feelings are true. As for Relationships are not always someone who despises LDRs like perfect. Tonyo and Marites went Marites, she confessed that despite through many obstacles but their the dislike, you are doomed when the love for each other remained heart takes over the mind. She wishes unwavering. That night prior to the and advises the people who will be
their partners as this can help clear the clouded thoughts. This gives them something to hold on to as they fight for their love. “Love is in the air,” they say, but for today’s generation, love can also be found online. Even though the internet is mainly used for communicating (and possibly meeting the love of your life), it is still best to keep oneself loved and safe.
Online dating can be fun and scary, yet that is the same thing when dating in person. At the end of the day, you are your own judge for if the love you are giving is worth the love you are getting. You cannot force destiny to write you your own love story. A masterpiece takes time to be finished, and a beautiful love story does not happen alone, but maybe it can start, with just one swipe.
Illustrated by Sophia Kaye Fernandez
Words are the imprints of the artist's soul and when their legacy is deeply etched in the milestone of literature, the rise of followers of their stories becomes the pinnacle of their career. But sometimes, even the most quoted and famously fleshed-out statement of a renowned writer might not hold a grain of truth in its essence. Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald or most commonly known as F. Scott Fitzgerald is an American novelist, short story writer, essayist, and screenwriter who birthed enthusiasm towards the movement of the Jazz Age, a period of celebration of jazz music and colorful dance styles of the 1920s to 1930s, and the most honored with his novel, The Great Gatsby (1925). Fitzgerald is known as a romantic and realist in the entire canon of his works, which is why his words effortlessly flowed in the sea of prominent love quotes of the century. Borrowing his infamous line from the said sought-after novel that “there are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice,” there comes a great deal of unreflected light–a truth trapped inside the scripture because the frame of reference has always been through a looking glass.
Refuting one-of-a-kind love Fundamentally, being hopeful to find a love that surpasses all that came before and will outshine those that will come solidifies the ground that this invaluable kind of love will never circle back to you, and once gone, there will never be the same. Such finality of a glorified destiny belief is tantamount to what most of us believe as the epitome of “true love” that most fictional romance novels have long-remarked in their entirety. Certainly, Filipinos are known to be romantics which translated to a 2019 survey from Netflix, a service media provider, reporting that 72% of Filipinos believe in the concept of a romantic soulmate or “the one.” This idea asserts a once-in-a-lifetime experience but such a stance often capitalizes on the enormous pressure that one should always be aware of their meaningful connections and never blink twice to avoid losing in their grasp. The committal attitude in such belief is somehow similar to “arrival fallacy”, a term coined by a positive psychology expert Tal Ben-Shahar which refers to the illusion that once a certain circumstance has been achieved, everything that follows will result in an enduring state of happiness: the culmination of life’s desire. Meeting with your soulmate often equates to the climax of all romances in one’s lifetime of heartbeats and heartaches. However, this recipe of happiness, in reality, has been jeopardizing its nature. People are often dismayed when they think they have missed or let go of it – such fatalism.
Fitzgerald may have failed to see that his remark posed a challenge and that there is a kind of love that we could re-experience and it is not about getting back to your exes or returning to your safety blankets but rather a reunion with the self.
Reunification to the source of love In a world where shards of so-called truth impose that love comes from outside, the reality of truly seeing the most primitive love through the mirror augments the very definition of what is the true source and face of love: the self. According to clinical psychologist Deborah Khoshaba, self-love is a state of appreciation, of embracing oneself that fosters actions that cultivate growth in different facets of our well-being. These actions towards oneself enable the expansion of the capacity to accept our strengths and weaknesses, be compassionate to ourselves, and find our values and existential purpose. Self-love, as argued by Jan Bransen, a Philosophy of Behavioral Science professor at Radboud University, Netherlands, is a relation to oneself that requires a “reflexive capacity to discern an alternative of oneself that presents itself as an alternative one is capable of loving.” It is an attitude of self-love that manages to perceive one's alternative as a beloved object that can be loved. This kind of strange love is pure in its form but as the people continue to move from one developmental milestone to another, the world incessantly strips its innocence that when meeting this halfway through, we are often bewildered by the familiarity of it. A living testament that even if people get lost in translation, self-knowledge finds its reawakening and understands its meaning even in the face of external noise. Self-love has always been the same and can be experienced over and over again and the world only made us distant from it by enforcing ideas in our heads. Fitzgerald may not have mentioned this kind of love, but its mere presence can shatter his words. However, the openness to embrace this concept is deeply challenged because of the prevailing social notions.
This ancient and ongoing false dilemma has estranged most people in accepting actions of self-love, one that is incompatible to believe that self-preference cannot be a good act. More so, this concept has eloped to a conditional impression that if you love yourself more, then you are selfish or narcissistic; however, these ideas are the exact opposite, and this only creates a barrier to genuinely embracing the idea of self-love. The schism of black and white has delimited the person to truly accept oneself and be comfortable in one’s skin. This vicious cycle will continue to happen not until we start to break this curse and start realigning our perspective towards positivism. Loving oneself is the root of all kinds of love. Self-love allows the person to be aware, complete, and continuously flourishing which empowers an individual in finding the true meaning of love and be able to share this light with others. Looking at the mirror and truly seeing yourself is the first step of a lifetime of fulfillment. Only then will you be able to see yourself naked and vulnerable, can recognize and start accepting equally your flaws the way that you accept your strengths, humanize your relation towards yourself, and finally have the integration of your complexities.
Loving oneself is not tantamount to pedestalling self above all else but rather it is the most sincere and humane course of action that will enable us to find ourselves–always circling back to the same love, full of invigoration. Self-love may not always be a revolutionary step for the world to see but it is enough to change our lives.
Recognizing the gray areas Humans are often defined by their actions and society has categorized these expressions into polarizing archetypes: a good nature that is exhibited in preference for others over oneself and a bad nature as manifested in choosing oneself over others.
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WOHVAETFOIRS L YOU? Love is Family! I believe that the truest form of love came from your love once since no matter what happens they are always there for you.
ere, mom!”
“You look good right th
Love is family.
te in nature. A galvanizing yet delica
Mothers' love is passed through generations
Love is what makes life worthwhile.
ct. It's not Something vivid andyouabstra get because yoube something that ing that wouldnot want it but someth given to you voluntarily. It's selfish and greedy.
r skies. Even afte bright blue the bright, just the clear, Love is like one glance. at adversities, es you mak It storms ofwill calm and sane you keep le in your own chaos. blue skyclear and simp see the
Love can be an uncomfortable feeling and it's not always there are downsides, but what linear s is having compassion, forgiveness,matter and commitment.
a Running errands as
bonding.
Love is like the vast sea; free and organic. It is ever-flowing and rich; it provides enough life to whoever is lost.
Love glistens just how bodies of water gleam in the daylight—a glimmering beacon of hope for the anguished. But like the sea, love is unpredictable—either you meet cordial currents or cruel waves.
Inside jokes; the little things.
always . It does not Love isorlikefeelthetheskysam e, but it is still look the same sky.
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Staying friends even after a long time not seeing each other.
Love is 'family at the mall'
’ huhugas g a m g n o na la ‘sige, ak
all in betweesunn home. Its Love feelups like g withthethemos mornindoin t g waking youinr the skin and sharing intimate kissing e things mundan s with youtorself and those ceyouto moment around you. Love is a safe spa cherish just be.
Love is a choice you make every single day.
Trouvaille's Througphhysmy ical touch
Ang pag-ibig ay pagtindig para sa masa
e's silent but Like soft brcoeezmfe,orlov ting.
TAMKOMIKS
ILLUSTRATED BY: JAZMINE MERRY VELUYA
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13
Illustrations by Maria Margarita Rivera
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Acknowledgments The Advocate’s Section Ma. Emilia Nicole Bertulfo (Features Editor)
James Pascua
(Literary Officer-in-Charge)
The Advocate’s News Section Maxine Alessandra Turiano (Junior Staffer)
Ciara Casmir Lasdoce
The Advocate’s Literary Section
Maria Margarita Corazon Rivera
Prince Thomas Siñel
(Head layout Artist) (Art Director)
(Senior Staffer)
Joshua David Diamante (Probationary Staffer)
The Advocate’s Executives
Florence Anne Taiño (Probationary Staffer)
Rea Ronna Payongayong
Ella Meriel Merin
Mary Evangeline Valenton
Beatrice Diane Bartolome
(Editor-in-Chief) (Managing Editor)
(Junior Staffer)
(Probationary Staffer)
Lance Christopher Bisda (Associate Editor)
Kenneth Teobengco Gamban (Executive Secretary)
The Advocate’s Filipino Section Agustin F. San Andres, Jr. (Senior Staffer)
The Advocate’s Features Section Angelic Mizpah Chaste Bulanhagui (Junior Staffer)
Jemina Eunice De Leon (Junior Staffer)
Melanie Uson (Senior Staffer)
Luddie Trixie Salcedo (Senior Staffer)
Erica Mae De Luna (Probationary Staffer)
John Vincent Cruz (Junior Staffer)
Mikaela Anne Laxa
The Advocate’s Sports Section
Rafa Jane Galeon
(Junior Staffer)
(Junior Staffer) (Junior Staffer)
Trisha Mae Abuyan
Yuichi Desquitado (Junior Staffer)
Samantha Cheyenne Gail Pagunuran (Probationary Staffer)
The Advocate’s Photography Section
(Probationary Staffer)
Arnold Quizol
Kristine Anjela Pablo
The Advocate’s Arts Section
(Junior Staffer)
Mary Vel Custodio (Senior Staffer)
The Advocate’s Secretariat Section
Sophia Kaye Fernandez (Probationary Staffer)
Julienne Labanancia
Jazmine Merry Veluya
(Management Staff)
Ellyn Cai
(Junior Staffer)
Shiena Sanchez
(Management Staff)
(Probationary Staffer)
The Advocate’s Layout Section Ashley Chrystal Rabot
The Advocate’s Assistant Business Managing Section Franz Alfred Ortenero (Management Staff)
(Junior Staffer)
Camille Pacleta (Probitionary Staffer)
Ms. Liana Barro (Publication Adviser)
