The Uncharted Waters of Retirement

by Ann Marie Kennon

Navigating Changes We Might Not See Coming

After decades of evolving and growing as professionals, most of us think of retirement as a time to toss out the alarm clock and enjoy our golden years doing whatever we want. Initially, the prospect of leaving behind the daily grind — lengthy commutes, meetings, workplace politics, or dealing with challenging people — is a great relief. Yet, for many, the novelty of endless vacation eventually fades and retirees find themselves longing for the sense of identity, meaning, and purpose their career provided. We also might begin to miss the routine that provided structure for everyday life, or the camaraderie and social interactions that came with having colleagues.

With all this in mind, it is no surprise that retirement comes in at number 10 on the scale of most stressful life events. If you are contemplating this life change, it is important to recognize that beneath all that anticipation lies a less talked about aspect of retirement: the psychological shifts that accompany this major transition.

Instead of feeling free, relaxed, and fulfilled, you might find yourself feeling depressed, aimless, and isolated. Perhaps it will stem from the challenge of flipping your work switch to “off”, learning to relax, or being anxious about filling time with less money to spend. As well, depending on your productivity instincts, you may even feel guilt receiving money without directly working for it.

SELF REASSESSMENT

For many, their profession is a fundamental part of who they are and, in retirement, the absence of daily work routines and professional responsibilities can create an identity crisis. The role change may lead them to wonder, "Who am I if not my job?" and seek to redefine themselves without their former titles. The important thing to remember is that adjusting to this new identity requires time and reflection. Experts suggest thinking about your passions well in advance so when retirement comes, you are prepared to seek just the right kind of volunteer work, engage in and finance hobbies or interests, or find mentorships that will serve as alternative sources of fulfillment and purpose.

EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

The initial phase of retirement will likely fill you with relief and excitement. However, as the sense of vacation wears off, it's not uncommon to experience a range of emotions, including grief over the loss of the old life. This is a natural response to significant life changes. Recognizing these feelings as part of the adjustment process is important. Establishing a new routine, maintaining social connections, and setting personal goals can help flatten the curve of your highs and lows.

RELATIONSHIPS

Couples in retirement may find themselves spending considerably more time together. This can be a blessing and a challenge, particularly if only one person is retired and the other still has work commitments. The shift in dynamics requires a new phase of compromise, including renegotiating space, routines, and responsibilities. Much like the newlywed phase, when you first began living in and being responsible for shared space, communication and setting shared and individual goals are key to navigating this transition smoothly. Additionally, the role changes within the family, such as becoming more involved grandparents or assuming new responsibilities, can also improve your sense of self and belonging.

SENSE OF LOSS

Leaving behind a career also means the loss of social interactions and the structure it provided. Daily interactions with colleagues, purpose-driven tasks, and even challenges faced at work contribute to a sense of belonging and achievement. To counteract this loss, it's helpful to seek out new communities and interests. Joining clubs, engaging in community service, or taking up new hobbies can fill this void with new connections and challenges.

PLENTY OF TIME

While the prospect of unstructured time is appealing, it can also be daunting. When every day feels like the weekend, it is liberating to be able to explore interests that were sidelined during the Monday-to-Friday life. However, it also requires self-discipline to avoid the pitfalls of aimlessness so creating a balance between relaxation and engaging in activities is important. Planning to fill your time, in terms of short-term activities and long-term goals, can make the transition smoother and more fulfilling.

More than anything, it is important to remember that the psychological changes are as significant as the financial and practical aspects of your retirement transition, so it is important to plan ahead for your emotional health as well.