Is it Just Me! (Part 3)

Yes, it's part III, perhaps because Poppy just needs to gauge whether she is simply an astute observer or has already achieved "grumpy old woman" status. In either case, it's time again to explore the delightful art of venting about things that make life a little more burr-under-the-saddle.

I know it's my problem that I'm hopelessly attached — like many in my pre-Internet generation — to the joys of analog life. Still, I have met too many school-age kids recently who tell me the only thing they like to do is "play my game" and "I don't like to go outside." Remember those last-dayof-school movie scenes when kids came bursting out the doors, amid a joyous mess of papers and books in celebration of being able to stay outside for the next two months? Today that scene is kids in hoodies and pajama pants, zombie-walking toward the pickup line because they are looking at their phones and don't move too quickly lest they wander into traffic.

They bid farewell to their friends so they can hurry home, past beautiful rolling Texas landscapes, to quickly get inside so they can play virtually with their friends in a pixelated landscape. I think we should henceforth require students to show teachers they have mosquito bites and dirt under their fingernails before they are allowed to come back after summer break.

Last night I watched the 2021 version of "Dune" because I'm planning to see "Dune 2" this weekend and didn't want to be lost in the plot. I needn't have worried. Halfway through, I realized I had already seen it — when it was "Avatar." Seriously... evil greedy alien overlords stealing valuable natural resources on a planet already inhabited by indigenous races living harmoniously with their environment. Lo and behold, the hero starts out as part of the evil conquering force then comes to despise his people's evil ways and goes over to the other side to help the oppressed natives reclaim their planet. Sure, James Cameron used some cool CGI and made a billion dollars but he might have had a little too much help from Frank Herbert's 1965 book for my taste.

Before anyone sends me angry emails, it is only fair to mention since my own geek feelings were hurt when I heard "Harry Potter" is just a retelling of "Star Wars" – two movies I actually do love. Young magical orphan, unaware of his special nature, lives with his uncle and aunt who resent his birth parents. He gets excited about his powers and adapts quickly after being nurtured by an old magical mentor. He later has great adventures with his male and female best friends to defeat an evil magical nemesis.

On a completely different note, it's 2024 and there are still some ridiculous COVID leftovers. Am I the only one noticing nothing but white vehicles these days? The lots in my town have rows and rows of white trucks, white SUVs, white sedans, etc. I know it really shouldn't bother me so much because, who cares? But I have started competing with myself to see how many white cars in a row I can find in a parking lot or line of traffic.

My best understanding is that back in the early 2020s (the new dark ages) when we couldn't go to work, car makers decided something had to go, and apparently that thing was paint bays. But it's been three years! Are those people still not coming to work? Did the car-buying public suddenly decide not to care if they could no longer figure out which white vehicle was theirs without pressing buttons on the key fob? I know not everyone is like me and sees their vehicle as an ersatz extension of their identity, but how long before the manufacturers decide to board up multiple assembly shops and we're all driving the same model, too?

I might not be so aggravated if I couldn't see through the insulting "we are making a lot of white cars because they have a more luxurious feel" sales campaign. I'm sorry, but you could paint a Prius with 24kt gold flecks and it still wouldn't be "luxury." Just be honest and tell us you got away with only making one color for a few years so there's no need to stop being cheap and re-hire your red, blue, black, and silver paint staff. In any case, it's really going to bother me in 2026 when I trade in my current non-white car for another used car and I can't find anything with under 100,000 miles in another color.

Meh, what would life — or my columns — be without a few exasperating moments? So here's to the annoyances that keep me humble, and the absurdities that make life entertaining, even if they are just in my own mind.