A young person’s guide to BorderLine Personality Disorder
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My name is Steph, I’m 21 years old + currently live in Burnham-On-Sea in Somerset. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was 17 years old but from the age of 11 my family noticed that something wasn’t quite right. My mum was concerned with my extreme mood swings and although my GP put it down to puberty my family and I were never convinced. We all thought there was more to it. I lost the close relationships I had with my mum and sister, began to feel more and more isolated. I didn’t feel ‘normal’. When I was eventually admitted to hospital after a breakdown I was diagnosed with BPD but the condition wasn’t explained to me properly and I was offered support but this didn’t materialise. The reason why I have worked with Fixers to produce this e-booklet is to give young people with BPD easier
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access to information about the condition. Many BPD resources are overloaded with text and complex information – this is a young person’s guide specifically designed to be user friendly. Fixers is the charity supporting me with this project. Fixers is a movement of young people tackling issues they feel strongly about to make a difference to others. Find out more about Fixers at www.fixers.org.uk. This e-booklet provides information on what BPD is, the symptoms of the condition and useful contacts. I hope that the e-booklet will help young people to understand BPD and reassure those with the condition that they aren’t alone. I’ve compiled this information from my own experiences, and using the NHS Choices website. However, your experience and symptoms may be different, and you should talk to a medical professional. 4
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BPD is best understood as a disorder of mood and how a person interacts with others. It can cause a wide range of symptoms. Broadly grouped into four main areas, they are:
1. Disturbed patterns of THINKING 2. emotional instability 3. impulsive behaviour 4. intense but unstable relationships with others
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There are three levels of disturbed thinking that can affect people with BPD. These are ranked according to severity:
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A. Upsetting thoughts > Thinking you are a terrible person > Feeling that you do not exist > Feeling unsure of these thoughts > Seeking assurance from others that these thoughts are not true
B. Brief episodes of strange experiences
> Hallucinations (hearing voices outside your head) > Voices may feel like instructions to harm yourself or others > Feeling unsure if these voices are real or not
C. Prolonged episodes of abnormal experiences > Hallucinations > Distressing beliefs that no one can talk you out of > Psychotic beliefs (delusions) – a sign that you’re becoming more unwell. Seek help if you’re struggling with delusions 7
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If you have BPD, you may experience a range of intense negative emotions, such as:
> Rage > Sorrow > Shame > Panic > Terror > Long-term feelings of emptiness + loneliness Severe mood swings can also occur over a short space of time. It is common for people with BPD to feel suicidal then feel positive a few hours later. Some people feel better in the morning and some in the evening. The patterns vary, but the key sign is unpredictable moods swings. 8
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If you have BPD there are two main types of impulses:
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Self-harm (eg. cutting your body with sharp instruments.) In extreme cases a person may feel suicidal
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Engaging in reckless or and irresponsible activities (eg. drinking, drugs, gambling, unprotected sex with strangers)
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If you have BPD, you may feel that people are abandoning you when you need them most. When people fear abandonment, it can lead to feelings of intense anxiety and anger and a person may make frantic efforts to prevent being left alone, such as:
> Constantly texting or phoning a person. > Suddenly calling someone in the middle of the night. > Physically clinging on to that person and refusing to let go. > Making threats of suicide or self-harm if that person ever leaves them. Alternatively, you may feel others are smothering, controlling or crowding you, which can also provoke intense fear and anger. 12
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You may then respond by acting in ways designed to make them go away, such as emotionally withdrawing, or being verbally abusive. These two patterns can often result in unstable ‘love-hate’ relationships. Many people with BPD seem to have a very rigid ‘black-white’ view of relationships. Either a relationship is perfect and that person is wonderful, or the relationship is doomed and that person is terrible. People with BPD seem unable to accept any sort of ‘grey area’ in their personal life and relationships. For many with BPD, emotional relationships involve ‘go away!/please don’t go’ states of mind, which is confusing for them and their partners. Sadly, this can often lead to break-ups. 13
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Outlook BPD can be a serious condition but for many with the condition, the outlook is reasonably good over time. Psychological or medical treatment may help. Treatment may involve a range of individual and group psychological therapies (psychotherapy) carried out by trained professionals working with a community mental health team (CMHT). Effective treatment may last more than one year. Recent studies have suggested the majority of those with BPD do well over time, with most experiencing sustained relief from symptoms, and around half being completely free of symptoms and able to function well in life. Additional treatment is recommended for people whose symptoms return. 17
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A FRIEND’S STORY I am close to someone who has BPD and know it’s not always easy to cope with. It takes time, patience and a lot of support. Not every BPD sufferer will be the same so it’s important to talk to them about it when they’re ready. I have got better at coping with BPD as time has gone on. Don’t be scared of BPD – just be open and understanding about it. Here are my top tips to support someone with BPD:
> Listen to the person > Distractions help, keep the person occupied > Knowing when to give the person space > Be positive > Don’t take comments to heart when the person is upset 18
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I hope that the e-booklet has encouraged you to seek help if you think you have BPD. I urge those with the condition to share their stories and support one another wherever possible. The condition is rare and affects only around 1%* of people in the UK. Because of this, it is difficult to understand, and many people do not even know it exists. Please share the e-booklet with others and let’s work towards raising awareness of BPD even further. I have set up a Facebook page called ‘Bpd and Me’ (facebook.com/bpdfix) for those with the condition and their friends/family so please visit the page and let me know if the e-booklet helped you. I would appreciate your feedback. *http://publications.nice.org.uk/borderline-personality-disorder
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FOR MORE INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT: > Your GP – they can refer you to your local Community Mental Health Team > Mind - www.mind.org.uk / 0300 123 3393 > Rethink - www.rethink.org / 0300 5000 927 > YoungMinds - www.youngminds.org.uk The aim of this booklet is to share Steph’s experience with BPD. This is not a medical guide and readers should consult their GP if you have been affected by any of the issues raised. For more information about Borderline Personality Disorder please visit www.nhs.uk.
The text in this booklet has been compiled from the Fixer’s own experience using information on the NHS Choices website.
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