NOV/DEC 2022 ISSUE 6 VOLUME 3
LISA WASHINGTON
FILM FESTIVAL SHINES LIGHT ON AFRICAN STORIES
Signature Style CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN
We're Clapping For LAURIE RENFRO
ELENA TAYLOR-BAGGER
CARESHIA MOORE, Esq.
MARIEA ANTOINETTE ON DECEMBER 9TH, PBS WILL BE RECORDING A LIVE CONCERT IN BEVERLY HILLS AT THE FAMOUS WALLIS ANNENBERG CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS : "AN INTIMATE EVENING WITH MARIEA ANTOINETTE"— WHICH WILL BE AIRED ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Mariea Antoinette not only makes the harp a gloriously and sensually viable instrument—she transforms the harp into an extremely vibrant and melodic "smooth jazz" lead instrument. She has enjoyed great success, including hitting the Billboard Top 5 with her debut album STRAIGHT FROM THE HARP and her 2020 single "Overture." Since her last full-length release ALL MY STRINGS, she's all about celebrating the R&B legends, starting in 2021 with Stevie Wonder's "Another Star." She's now setting our open-minded hearts afire with a divine sprinkling of Luther Vandross on her infectious, soaring version of his 1980s classic "So Amazing."
Mariea's twist is pure joy from start to finish, with her inviting and dynamic string melodies sweetened with gospel-flavored female backing vocals and swelling orchestral textures. Whether gracing us with originals or R&B re-imaginings, Mariea's vibe is always captivating.
The Rise of Barbiecore
Victoria's Voice: still a child in an adult world
16 36 38 45 46 48 56 88
APPRECIATION
14
Paula G. Voice
married to the mantra
Keeping romantic relationships energized and purposeful
A personal power mantra Janis Hunt Johnson
Hurricane Strong Paula G. Voice
FUN-damental Laurie Renfro
new year's resolutions don't work Bella Yemaya
Hey, Mamas!
18 ideas for your social self care from Elena Taylor-Bagger
Authenticity: Stardust, life-force particles & you Chloé Taylor Brown
WE'RE CLAPPING FOR CARESHIA MOORE, ESQ.. The woman leading the way at Usher Raymond IV's NEW LOOK Foundation
17
hope after loss
28
A Jericho Force: Kingdom Business with Mr. Fortify
32
gemma's historical gems
42
SAPREA: Ending the Silence around Child Sexual Abuse
58
Dana Neiger finds purpose through giving back by Karen Gamba
in conversation with Paula G. Voice
The feminism of African American teachers by Dr. Gemma Beckley
Melinda Colton
Signature style
Wardrobe, fashion & clothes with Chloé Taylor Brown
8
'Tis the season for luxury on a budget Beauty & make-up tips from Shari Perkins
30
cool weather skincare upgrades
31
Waisted
68
What's your Hair Say?
80 95
inner beauty being
Lyn Ross
Measuring & understanding your waist circumference Chloé Taylor Brown Chloé Taylor Brown
wardrobe-building shopping tips
Know what to do before your next shopping spree
90
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FILM FESTIVAL SHINES LIGHT ON AFRICAN STORIES
Clive Mathibe in conversation with Lala Tuku & Ayanda Sithebe
3
MARIEA ANTOINETTE
7
HOLIDAY BRUNCH IDEAS
A PBS live harp concert December 9th in Beverly Hills Lisa Washington
37
CAFÉ I AM
77
HE'S GOT FLAVOR!
79
BLUEBERRY SCONES WITH ORANGE ZEST ICING
The ultimate cup of coffee Chef Miguel's award-winning Crockpot Chili
Lisa Washington
ADOPTIONS AND ANGEL WINGS
One Atlanta attorney's journey by Kristina Millsaps
50
girl-swag Helping Gen Z to Gen X women & girls to thrive & flourish
11
PEP Yourself
53
Staying Stylish and Classy
54
Discover your level of personal excellence: take the Personal Excellence Profile assessment Why authenticity in business is the best accessory for Creative Director Marie Antoinette by Karen Gamba
FINANCIAL ABUSE: LEARN TO PROTECT YOURSELF
60
Leading with empathy
64
the lady who paints it pink
70
Kim Scouller
Seane Shaw talks with hospital VP & CFO Leah Hobson Chloé Taylor Brown in conversation with Donna C. Lawrence
CHLOÉ
TAYLOR BROWN
Editor's Note WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO ENJOYING A FABULOUS, FUN FALL & HOLIDAY SEASON. Editor-in-Chief chloe@flourishdigitalmagazine.com @flourishdigitalmagazine @chloetaylorbrown @chloetaylorbrown
Who's looking forward to enjoying a fun Fall and a wonderful holiday season? Answer: Who's not? We all are—and we deserve it. Whether we admit it or not, we deserve joy. After the past two seasons of uncertainty and loss for so many of us, appreciation for where we are now, and where we can go from here is, indeed, in order. Read Paula G. Voice's article on the importance of appreciation—of ourselves and of others (page 16). Be inspired by "The Lady Who Paints it Pink" at age eighty (page 70), and see why Janis Hunt Johnson believes in writing the life she wants to live (page 38). Clive Mathibe, our South African Arts & Lifestyle Editor, shines light on African stories in a lively conversation with Lala Tuku and Ayanda Sithebe (page 12). There are so many good reads to indulge yourself, and enjoy. Happy holidays! May you, your family, and all whom you love life with, enjoy every holiday you celebrate between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve. This is Flourish Digital Magazine's third holiday issue, which reminds me that anything is possible, ladies and gentlemen. So make your decisions, set your intentions, and stick with them. Let's visualize, and feel those wonderful feelings of success. Own it, and step into it with confidence and style. Elevate and hold onto your self-esteem by continually expanding your concept of yourself. Make sure your image and appearance align with where you're going. Read my article, "Signature Style" (page 90). A great authentic image will elevate your self-esteem and your value of yourself. Check out the Personal Excellence Profile (page 53), which measures your level of personal excellence: Discover how you're showing up in life based on twelve life abilities. Lastly, think more lovingly toward yourself and focus on your heart's desires. That's what self-esteem means—to know and appreciate your own worth and value. You are wonderfully made, valuable and lovely! Allow your own light to shine. All the best until 2023!
<
Chloé Taylor Brown
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Holiday Brunch Ideas By Lisa Washington
When we're thinking of the holidays, usually the first things that come to mind are the turkey, stuffing, green beans, and pumpkin pie or sweet potato pie. I happen to be on team sweet potato pie. We could go straight into the dinner menu, but wait. Here’s some inspiration I'd like to share with you. How about brunch? > Get the sweets on page 78
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'TIS THE SEASON FOR LUXURY ON A BUDGET by Shari Perkins Do you love luxury, beauty, skincare and fragrance? Many of us do, but we choose not to splurge during the holiday season on ourselves. With so many people to buy gifts for, we tend to cut back on luxurious purchases for ourselves, only shopping for others during this time of the year. >
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WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A SOLUTION TO THIS DILEMMA? Nestled almost secretly in many outlet malls there’s a store called The Cosmetics Company Store. They sell different high-end beauty and fragrance brands at a heavily discounted price. Some items, such as MAC Cosmetics, Estée Lauder, and Bobbi Brown can be found for as low as $5 to $10! Are you looking to restock on some beauty essentials—skincare products, foundations, concealers or lipsticks? Or do you plan on treating yourself to a new Tom Ford fragrance sometime in the future? Either way, The Cosmetics Company Store is the place to be with the prices you’ll love to see! Not only can you find items that will light your heart on fire for this holiday season, but you’ll also find the perfect gifts for loved ones as well. As a make-up artist, I find myself visiting The Cosmetics Company Store on a frequent basis to pick up new highend beauty products for my clients as well as to treat myself to luxury fragrances. Shopping your favorite luxury beauty brands and high-end fragrances has never been better— easily accessible to so many people in malls all over the country. The staff is always incredibly kind and happy to help, the products are displayed in an extravagant manner, and the fragrances are always exclusive picks that you would typically find in luxury department stores. Run don’t walk to your local outlet mall and check out some of the gems they have to offer! For help with finding the perfect products and/or shades for you, head on over to www.theluxxurycollection.com and book your make-up consultation with none other than yours truly, Shari Perkins. Happy Holidays!
<
SHARI’S LIFE OF LUXXURY
THELUXXURYCOLLECTION.COM
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3. Make good solid decisions based on your heart's desires. 4. Be a fantastic verbal and non-verbal communicator of your thoughts and goals. 5. Learn to build rapport by respecting yourself and others. 6. Choose your friends wisely, and interact with them as your team. 7. Act like a lady and get ready for the real deal. It's near. 8. Set your goals based on your decisions, and make it happen. 9. Have certainty and faith in yourself and in your plans as you put it all together. 10. Command respect by being authentic and turning up your "it" factor. 11. Be ready. Your vision is expanding. 12. Do all of this and accomplish what you #DECIDED in Number 3. Enquire about booking a program at CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 11
FILM FESTIVAL SHINES LIGHT ON AFRICAN STORIES
Read the full story on page 82
The Africa Rising International Film Festival (ARIFF) celebrates and honors African storytellers in film and television. Currently in its fifth year, ARIFF, which takes place in South Africa, prides itself on creating a unique, inclusive platform that shines a spotlight on filmmakers and storytellers who have been previously excluded from mainstream platforms as well as from greater society. Women and the queer community are well represented through the curation of the festival’s Film Program as well as its Talks Program—all curated by yours truly, Clive Mathibe. > @CLIVEMATHIBE
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Happy Holidays Let's appreciate our true self and our loved ones this holiday season—no matter what we've gone through. Now is a wonderful time to hold our position in who we are—if we love it— or, let's determine a new ideal for who we want to become in 2023. Let's not hold back. This is the time to allow our heart's desires to spill out. How do you think it will feel—being immersed in and living your heart's desires?
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V
ICT RIA'S ICE
THE RISE OF BARBIECORE When I go to work every morning and sit in my cubicle with two monitors facing right back at me, I finally feel like I’ve made it, like I’m a real person functioning in society and contributing to the economy. Yet even though I’m as old as I’ve ever been at 22, in the workplace, somehow I feel more like a child than ever. Everyone around me has a fully developed career, with huge professional networks, and even bigger life achievements. But I’m still asking myself “Who do I want to be when I grow up?” This is why I’ve taken such an interest in the new “Barbiecore” trend. Depending on who you’re talking to, Barbiecore is about anything referencing the hot pink bubblegum lifestyle of the fabulous Barbie herself. Or, it’s about the more-is-more lifestyle—equally dressing the part and living to the fullest. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 14
The rise of the Barbiecore aesthetic has come due to the commercial success of recent Valentino couture and ready-towear collections featuring the super-trendy hot pink color, as well as pop culture’s obsession with nostalgia and the Y2K/90s era (there’s even a live-action Barbie movie in the works starring Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling, and Issa Rae among others). I like to compare this new trend to the Girlboss trend that was super-popular in the late 2010s and still is, but moreso with the millennial generation. >
Growing up, I loved playing with Barbie dolls—playing with their hair, trying on different outfits, and making up arbitrary careers and personalities for each doll. The Girlboss trend to me was all about women being badasses in the workplace—and CEOs of companies. You were making money and not having to worry about someone else providing for you. It was the kind of feminism that declares women can do exactly what men do! Still, I never caught onto it because, well, firstly I wasn’t old enough to relate to it at the time, but also because deep down, to me it felt hollow. I don’t want to do exactly what men do in the workplace, just like I wouldn’t want to decorate my new house the same way a man does, or style my hair the way a man does. There is a dichotomy and harmony to the different ways men and women do things—and it’s beautiful. It’s what makes society diverse and concordant. While the Girlboss approach is basically identical to doing what a man does and being a woman at the same time, the Barbiecore aesthetic is all about bringing your authentic self to the table (including the workplace) and being fabulously you everywhere you are. Growing up, I loved playing with Barbie dolls— playing with their hair, trying on different outfits, and making up arbitrary careers and personalities for each doll. All of this was so exciting for me as a child, and it feels equal parts exciting but also anxiety-inducing as I do the same thing for myself as an adult. I feel like my generation is obsessed with grind culture and getting ultra-rich super-quick— starting a business and making your mark on the world, grind, grind, grind. But Barbie never “grinded.” She was simply a bad bitch with the job and with an amazing closet and social life. She coined the phrase “Be who you want to be, Barbie Girl” and she lived by it. I never knew how much Barbie impacted my life growing up, but with the rise of Barbiecore, I’ve enjoyed analyzing her morals as I’ve entered adulthood. No matter what job she had, she was authentically herself through and through. This could be written off as cheesy.
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Why am I taking advice from a Barbie doll? Yet I believe it has exceptional value. Women in business are figuring out how to be themselves without thinking about the male gaze. I want to be the kind of woman who knows herself authentically. She would never compromise that to move up the corporate ladder. So I use my strongest virtues to stick out from the crowd and shake things up. If I’m going to develop my career to the fullest potential, I’m going to need all the confidence in the world—just like Barbie, who never doubts herself. I used to say ironically when I was a child that I wanted to be Barbie when I grew up; I didn’t really know just how accurate that statement was. I still want to dress up as cute and stylishly as the corporate dress code allows—I loooove the color pink—and I want to be the best me I can be every day. And hey, it might be a little childish, but I’m a child within the adult world, and this is the foundation to the Barbie Girl™ lifestyle. < Victoria Moore McMiller is a recent college graduate and HR Recruitment Operations Analyst for Hilton Hotels.
VictoriaMooreMcMiller
APPRECIATION When I think of appreciation, I see it from two distinct aspects: appreciation of others and appreciation for yourself. I hope that we all can say that we have at least one person in our life who touches us in ways that inspire, encourage, and support. We as humans were not designed to be alone. We need each other. We are interconnected. During recent times we found ourselves isolated out of necessity. For some of us that isolation has been devastating—especially for those of us labeled as a people person. For others, the time has been delightful—at least for those of us labeled as an introvert. Either way, we have all been affected by isolation. There is a song that speaks to people needing people. So true! As we age, one of the elements to healthy aging is keeping up the quality of life and the social interaction. There is light in all of us. As we allow that light to shine, we brighten each other’s lives as we continue this journey called life. We often hear it being said that we need to appreciate the little things in life. Appreciation: Sometimes it is a small gesture that someone does for us—which we may otherwise miss if we're caught up in the busyness of life. Someone checks on us after we made a passing comment about not feeling well. We may have even forgotten we said it, or not even realized we said it loud enough for someone to hear. We get a phone call with an encouraging word, or someone gives us a gift card from our favorite coffee shop. We didn’t even realize they knew it was our favorite coffee shop. That person was paying attention to what brings us joy! Appreciation: Take a moment to reflect on the many ways other people show appreciation in your life. It will help you to realize just how much you mean to others. We also need to take time to appreciate who it is that we are as individuals. Think of all the wonderful attributes that you possess. I know some of us can get a bit modest, so we may have trouble coming up with our positive traits. Sometimes this can be achieved by all the above examples—when you notice how others show you appreciation. We often impact others in ways we do not even realize. I recall a parent telling me how I helped to calm their concerns about their child attending a new school on the first day. This parent approached me at the end of the school year to tell me that—nine months later! That first day of school is always one of the most chaotic days of the year. New students, new classes, new schedules. Someone doesn’t like their schedule. A parent is upset about their child having a certain teacher. And, in some instances, there are pranks that can shut down the entire day. Never mind remembering what I said or did for each parent who crossed my path on that day. Nevertheless, that parent appreciated what I said. We impact each other’s lives in so many ways. Let us all remember to appreciate those who pour into us. Let us all remember how we pour into others. And what a blessing we can be to each other. < I am Paula G. Voice, AKA Lady Wisdom, a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer, embracing my journey! I'm influencing dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their vison and ultimately the manifestation of the same. It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dream. Flourish! WWW.PAULAGVOICE.COM
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@PAULAGVOICE
PAULA G VOICE
CARESHIA
The Woman Leading the Way at Usher's New Look Foundation in conversation with Chloé Taylor Brown
We're clapping for Careshia Moore, Esq., CEO and President of Usher's New Look organization, a nonprofit helping young people, age 14 to 24, transform the trajectory of their lives by helping them gain a "new look" on life. This is done through education and self-discovery—helping them to develop their passions, explore careers, gain financial literacy, determine how to give back to their communities, and learn how to become leaders. New Look Foundation was created in 1999 by superstar entertainer, Usher Raymond IV, with his mother. Usher was driven by his passion to help underserved youth. The organization's vision is to continue to be a premier youth development organization that creates a generation of passionate young leaders who are educated and equipped to compete in a global market.
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>
Chloé: Careshia, how did you get involved with Usher's New Look Foundation? Careshia: Usher founded the organization in 1999. When I think about the parallels. Well, I was in a master's program for education, about to become an educator, and my first job was teaching at two schools in Collier County School District in Florida. I taught in Naples, which at the time was considered the richest city per capita. And I also taught in a town called Immokalee. I would literally go to those two schools, every other day. The areas where the schools were could not have been further apart in terms of resources. One was a very affluent community, and the other was a community that was really impoverished. The resources were not equitable between the two, although they were part of the same school district, and it was based on location. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 18
Careshia, continued: My experience in that school district really created the burden for me to help young people—not just in the classroom, but I was asking, What's the education that they need outside of the classroom? What's the access, opportunity, and exposure that they need that will really help level the playing field? Fast forward: I went to law school with my sights set on working in educational equity. I litigated for a while, and then I came to a point, Chloé, where I just knew I was not in the right place.
Careshia, continued: I knew that there was something else for me to do. I knew that there was a calling or a purpose outside of practicing law in the way that I was doing it. And so I resigned from my law firm—and that was actually twice in one year, because at first they found another position for me that they thought would solve the particular issue. But it really was about being in a space where I needed to be. Fast forward from there: Someone introduced me to someone else, a person who was affiliated with Usher's New Look Foundation. She knew my heart and knew what I wanted to do. She had heard of the organization and said, "I think this is the perfect organization for you to connect with." Chloé: Back when you were teaching at the two schools in the same school district, what made them so different? Careshia: My school in Naples, Florida, literally sat in the middle of a multimillion-dollar golf community. Most of the students that I taught were White, they were wealthy, and they went to private islands on the weekend. Resources were not an issue for them. The other school where I taught, in Immokalee, was primarily migrant families from Mexican and Haitian ethnicities— and it was just a completely different world. Those families went and picked crops. Sometimes they moved where they followed the crops. There was poverty.
We had a food bank, and we had a clothes closet at school. So, Chloé, when you talk about two different schools and worlds, I was literally going between two different worlds every other day. Chloé: So it sounds like this experience impacted your heart and your profession to make different choices. Careshia: Yes. But another ten years went by between going to school and practicing law. But all the activities I was involved in—all my community service work, all of that—was in an effort to help youth. I was still hyper-focused on helping youth in some capacity— whether it was youths who were involved with the justice system, or mentoring young people. All my personal extracurricular activities were to help the community. But it wasn't until my last year of practicing law—sitting on boards and becoming involved with the United Way and communities in school—that the flame in my heart that started in Collier County, Florida began to burn so brightly that I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I knew I needed to be somewhere else. So I took a risk. It was a leap of faith. I stepped out of the boat! However you want to say it! I knew that there was something else for me, and I was not going to find it sitting in an office practicing law at a very prestigious law firm. I knew that that was not what I was supposed to be doing.
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Chloé: Tell us how you landed at Usher's New Look Foundation. Careshia: So, as I said, I literally resigned twice. The first time, one of the law partners said, "I know you just had your daughter, so come work for me, and choose any schedule." I said, "OK, let me get back in the boat." Right? Because you don't leave a job without having another job. Number one, I'd gotten a little scared about that. So, I went and worked three days a week, 9:00 to 2:00. And about four or five months later, that same feeling that I had before came back, and I could not shake it. I knew I needed to be somewhere else and needed to leave. My last day, that second time, happened like this. I went downstairs to say goodbye to one of my good friends and colleagues. I noticed she had a Bloomingdale's shopping bag on her desk. And I asked her, "When did you go shopping?" She told me, "I went to this luncheon, and it was for Usher's New Look. Did you know Usher Raymond had a youth foundation?" I said, "I think I read about it, but not really." Then she said, "This is the organization you need to get connected with. So, I brought all of these materials back for you"! And she even told me that she was going to connect me to the person who hosted the luncheon table. And she sent an email immediately! >
"I went home and told my husband. I said, 'I didn't get a job, but I'm going to volunteer.'" Careshia, continued: On my way home that same day, I was talking to another friend. And she asked me, "OK, so what are you going to do?" I said, "Well, I'll probably start blogging, I don't know. I'll figure out something." I'd started writing a book, all these things around education. She said, "Well, since you want to write, there's a woman who publishes a magazine here in Henry County. I can connect her with you. Maybe there's an opportunity for you to write for her magazine." So I'm thinking, yes, that would be great. Awesome. So listen Chloé: It was the same person that my friend from the law firm emailed! So, she receives an email from two different people about me! That following week, Usher's New Look was having an event. And this woman emailed me and said, "I'm going to figure out a way to get you there, because two different people have emailed me about you within 24 hours."
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I went to that event. It was their Leadership Conference. I met a few amazing people. It was a fantastic event! And I sat there and said, "This is what I need to be around." In fact, the theme of the conference—I still remember it— it was Passion and Purpose. It felt to me like God was sending me a very clear message. I wanted to leave the law firm to follow what I knew was my passion and purpose! Soon, I went to meet with some folks. They were transitioning from summer camps to year-round programming, and they needed some help in volunteering and building out that curriculum, working with the team at Emory Business School, which had helped to develop that curriculum. And that's what I did. I went home and told my husband. I said, "I didn't get a job, but I'm going to volunteer." >
Chloé: Your husband was probably wondering, "What's going on?" Careshia: Yes, Chloé, but he was very supportive. In fact, he called me at the firm one day and said, "Just submit your resignation letter today." I said, "Really?" He said, "Yes, just do it, if you know this is what you're supposed to do. It'll work out." Preparing for that next meeting, I was like, "This is great. I'm going to go get a job with Usher's New Look." And I came back home with a volunteer assignment. But a few months later, I started contracting with them, writing some curriculum, and working in different aspects of the program. That was in 2012. Chloé: Here we are ten years later. What do you like best about the work you've been doing over the past ten years with this organization? Careshia: What I like best about working with New Look is that you can see lives change with the work that we're doing. Every now and then, something will flash up on my Facebook memories, and I will see these young people who were high school students, college freshmen, kids who did all the activities that we provide in the program—all of the opportunities. And for example, just a couple of weeks ago, I had breakfast with a young lady who just received her MBA from Emory, and she is fielding job opportunities right now.
All my students were high IQ, gifted and talented students who had gone through psychological evaluations, and it was determined that their IQ was exceptionally high. Yet I knew that my kids in Immokalee—it did not matter how high their IQ was, without some sort of an intervention around access, opportunity, and exposure, they would not get to where they could be—and deserve to be—in life. Does that make sense?
Chloé: Isn't that a wonderful feeling, Careshia?
Chloé: All kids have it already, right? We're just helping them cultivate it. We're opening doors. We're making connections for them. We're giving them experiences and exposure and opportunities. And with that, they can just soar—not just change their lives, but the lives of their communities, the lives of their family, and the lives of generations to come.
Careshia: Listen, I'm getting goosebumps right now, because that's what I knew—all those years back in Naples, Florida. Back there, this is the thing: I taught gifted education. I was teaching gifted students.
You know, Careshia, their story reminds me of my early story—of my Aunt Anita saving me as a troubled high-school junior. My mom died in a car crash when I was thirteen, leaving eight kids. Initially we all went to live with our grandmother.
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But, by the time I was fifteen, the grief and depression started to get the best of me. I felt so uncared for and so unloved that I starting to get into trouble in school—academically and socially. But my Auntie and Uncle, and the whole community, embraced me. They started to help me draw out my best self. So I was one of those kids. I know the value of the work that you're doing. I truly know the value of the work that Usher's New Look Foundation is doing to help children. I'm so inspired by the work that you're doing. Careshia: Listen, it has not always been easy. You make sacrifices when you live your life in purpose. You don't always get to do what you necessarily want to do, or what society says you should be doing. And you don't always have what society says you should have. I have three degrees, one of which is a law degree! I could go anywhere, and do whatever it is that I want to do. But I am choosing for myself. For me, this is the most important work that I could be doing right now. >
"This is an intention for me." Chloé: I want to commend you on the work that you're doing for young people. And now I want to know about you, the woman. What's your heart's desire, personally for yourself? What is it that you want to be up to in 2023? Careshia: Chloé, I'm a wife and mother of two. I have a seventeen-year-old son and a twelve-year-old daughter. I want to be present for my family. That's a priority for me. I always think about the preacher's kids. I don't want to be out there doing all this good, but my kids are wondering, "Dang, does my mom even show up for my games? Is she helping me with college?" And all these things. So, my family is a priority. I'll make sure to keep that as a priority. But for me, I am very intentional right now on making sure that I am taking care of myself. You can put yourself into something for so long because you love it, but then you have to make sure that you're well—especially coming out of a pandemic. So this is an intention for me. I am doing new things that I have not made the time to do until now. I'm walking every day, like I'm here in this hotel and I don't normally pack exercise clothes when I travel, but I did this time, because I want to make sure that I'm taking care of myself. I want to make sure that I'm in the best health that I can be in, but also making sure that I'm attuned to the vision for my life. In addition to Usher's New Look, what else am I supposed to be doing? I have a heart for supporting parents. I truly believe that, especially coming from the African diaspora as an African American. That concept of village living is very real and alive in my heart. Chloé: How does that look to you—your vision of the village living? Careshia: From a parenting perspective, that looks like communities of parents who are working hard to make sure that their kids have all of their physical needs met. They are also supporting one another to make sure all their kids are able to fulfill their purpose through their talents—through exposure, through opportunities, and pulling together as this village, this community, to ensure that it happens, so that truly no child is left behind. I think everything that we need to succeed as a community—we have it. Now how do we pull those resources together? How do we support one another strategically so that our young people grow up with hope, and with all the belief in themselves that is needed for them to succeed, along with the resources they require, so that their goals feel attainable? > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 22
"Everybody has an assignment. Everybody has some way that they're supposed to impact the world. Each of us has a purpose. And we have to fulfill it." Chloé: I love that. That is what my auntie and her community did for me. They were getting me ready for something, and I got to choose what that was. I loved it because they were just so involved with me. And they had already done that for so many of the girls in their community. Like you said, their village. Careshia: That is beautiful. That gives me goosebumps. Chloé: I'm getting more excited and wondering, is this something that Usher provides through his nonprofit, or is this something that you are also doing in your own community? Careshia: Well, that's what I want to build. I mean, to an extent, that is what Usher's New Look is. It is creating this culture, this environment, this family of support—for our young people. And they say it. We have young people whose families—for whatever reason, they are not able to provide the support that these young people need to get them where they need to be. It's not all families, but some. And what they say is that Usher's New Look Foundation helped them not only to craft what their future could look like, but it also provided them with the resources, and the support, and the access, and the knowhow and the encouragement—to be able to do that. The things that we do for some of the young people who go through our program, Chloé—it's outside of a curriculum. You can't capture it in data, and you can't capture it in evaluation. For example, when a student has an interview and they need a suit, we galvanize to make sure that happens. Or, say someone graduates college and they have their first job out of state, but they don't have the funds to even get a U-Haul to move there, we galvanize to make sure that they have that support. That's what it is. It is so much more than the curriculum. And I think that's a village. Chloé: I'm getting excited about you, Careshia. I love that you are blending your work, your community, and your heart's desire together. Talk about that.
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Careshia: It's my purpose, and it's consistent throughout every area of my life. That is how I look at this. It's not a feeling. It's not, "Oh, this is just a thing I'm doing." This is why God created me. This is why I'm here. I'm very clear about that. And anything that does not align with that mission, I'm not going to be in it for long. Because we have a finite amount of time on this earth. At the end of it, we have to be able to look at ourselves and know: I have completed what my assignment was here. Everybody has an assignment. Everybody has some way that they're supposed to impact the world. It could be delivering groceries to your neighbor. It could be cutting someone's lawn who can't. It could be creating a school. Or it could be building Usher's New Look as an entertainment mogul, as a global superstar. But whatever it is, each of us has a purpose. And we have to fulfill it. I read a book called Big Magic, and it really made it clear, that the ideas we have don't necessarily come from us. They are ideas that have to come into this world. And an idea comes to fruition because somebody else needs it, and because someone decides to take up that idea and go with it, in order to have an impact on someone else. Chloé: Yes. And sometimes you don't even understand. For instance, Flourish Digital Magazine is a prime example. I never thought I wanted a magazine. At least I didn't know I wanted it. It came from a higher place that was dropped into my spirit: "Chloé, you can create your own magazine." And the more I thought about it, the more I liked it. I felt good with the thought, and then I was saying it. "Oh, yes, I can create my own magazine." Of course, not knowing the hard work, or how it could happen. I just knew that I could, because it didn't come from me. That's what I want all of us to tap into—to be more in tune to the promptings from the Holy Spirit. Or the downloads, or your Higher Self, or whatever you call it: to be in tune. It's just what you've said. The magazine, which I had no knowledge of before, has helped me to bring everything that I love full >
"You may not get to where you want to go, but you always end up where you're supposed to be." Chloé, continued: circle. I love having these conversations— with you, with women and men. I love encouraging people. I love helping people to shine for themselves. I love writing, and I love sharing other folks' writings and their stories. I never knew until I started—that the magazine is bringing everything that I love into one space. I am for everyone learning how to find out and step into, what you and I have discovered of ourselves—of how to align our heart's desires, our purpose, and our passions in all areas of our lives. It's not just for one area. To live your best life is to live it on purpose. And I want to congratulate you. You seem to have really figured it out. Careshia: Thank you so much, Chloé. It's been ups and downs. It has not been a linear path by any means. And there's a quote that I love: "You may not get to where you want to go, but you always end up where you're supposed to be." That, to me, is my life. And it's not over. There are still other chapters to this. It remains to be seen how it's going to be implemented and what it will look like. <
CARESHIAMOORE USHERSNEWLOOK.ORG
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THE GIRL-SWAG PROJECT Coaching & Training for Girls to Become Confident, Dynamic Young Women SEE PAGE 11 FOR MORE INFORMATION CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM
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Saprea.org
A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires. —PAULO COELHO FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 27
F i nd i n g Karen Gamba, CEO of the ExV Agency, spoke with Dana Neiger, CHRO and Co-Founder of HIVE Talent Acquisition Firm and author of Before I Knew It, They Were Gone: A Jewish First-Generation American Woman’s Journey through the Darkness.
From an early age, things have always been shifting in Dana Neiger’s life. At the age of fourteen, her family relocated from Los Angeles to Gainesville, Georgia. “Talk about culture shock,” says Dana, “when you’re a teenager, a move like that could seem like one of the biggest things in the world. It’s probably why I have no problem with public speaking. I had to learn to think on my feet in a new environment and adapt quickly.” >
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Dana Neiger Discusses the Importance of Finding Purpose by Giving Back.
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This, however, was not the biggest shift in Dana’s life. Her life turned upside down at the age of twenty when her father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and then died within six weeks. One year later, to the day, her mother died of lung cancer. Then, her only sibling died of a heart attack. “My parents have the same death anniversary,” shares Dana. “I felt like everything I ever cared about was ripped from my life in moments. I was in college—a vulnerable time. I could have taken time off to try and make sense of things, but it was important to me to graduate on time. It made me even more determined to find a way forward and succeed. Perhaps staying focused on my studies is what helped me get through parts of what happened.”
recruiting agency based in Atlanta. With a focus on creating opportunities for women, and obliterating the gender pay gap, Dana has made it her mission to speak up about diversity and inclusion initiatives to create better opportunities for everyone. “Waiting for things to change is not the answer. We must raise our voices, create more educational programs, and raise awareness constantly if we're going to create equal opportunities for all,” she says. “My career has afforded me the opportunity to help many people find fulfilling careers. I am so happy to be using what I have learned—the good, the bad, the tragedies, the failures, and the triumphs—to help people live joyful, healthy, and purpose-driven lives.”
In 2022, Dana will release her first book, Before I Knew It, They Were Gone: A Jewish First-Generation American Woman’s Journey through the Darkness, in which she chronicles her personal journey through grief. Her goal is to give some hope to as many people as she can who are suffering with grief. “You never stop missing the ones you love, but I want people to know that there is a path forward. All I want, with this book, is to be able to share my story with others, and hopefully help them find peace through their own journeys with grief.”
Proud alumni of Agnes Scott College in Georgia, Dana dedicates her time to mentorship programs and speaking engagements, partnering in diversity and inclusion webinars to help educate the next generation of creatives, employees, and entrepreneurs to step confidently into the workforce.
Today, Dana is the Co-Founder and Head of Organizational Development at HIVE Talent Acquisition Firm, a global, women-owned
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Outside of work, Dana loves the outdoors, sporting and live music events, and spending time with her husband, Dustin, their son, Deegan, and dogs, Gustav, Donnie Barko and Toni Bark. <
by Karen Gamba The ExV Agency
COOL WEATHER SKINCARE UPGRADES Year-round skincare is always important, but what most people do not know is that the skin responds to temperature changes—which means that the climactic air has a significant impact on the skin’s ability to retain moisture. Colder temperatures equal lower humidity levels in the air, which can pull precious moisture from your skin, causing unwanted dehydration. Drier skin may lead to red, irritated, and even cracked-looking or rough skin, robbing your complexion of its youthful glow.
The winter season is when you need skincare solutions that can help manage deep cell hydration! Now is the time to seek out a professional skin analysis and product treatment ingredients that can exfoliate away dry dead skin cells to reveal the hydrated cells below. Simply layering the right weight moisturizer for your skin type and condition over a hydrating serum can protect the skin’s natural hydration and keep your healthy glow. Cooler weather professional facials that incorporate vitamin-rich pumpkin and herbal enzyme peels are a wonderful way to avoid annoying complications from dry dehydrated skin during the winter months ahead. <
BY LYN ROSS, L.M.E. PRESIDENT INSTITUT’ DERMED™ CLINICAL SKINCARE
Youth is a gift of nature. Aging is a work of art. Idermed.com
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WAISTED Did you know that your waistline and maintaining a healthy body go hand in hand? Yes, waist circumference is very important to your overall health. It’s a simple measurement that helps you monitor your health. All you need is a tape measure. Typically, a circumference of thirty-five inches or less is considered a normal and healthy waist size for women, according the National Institutes of Health. A woman’s waist is not only a consideration in regard to body proportion, it dictates the body silhouette. And more importantly, according to a recent study conducted by Sister To Sister: Everyone Has A Heart Foundation, it is to a woman’s best health interest to pay close attention to keeping her waist circumference at less than thirty-five inches. In other words, no matter what body type or shape you have, or what size your body frame may be, or how tall you are, having a waist line thicker than thirtyfive inches means you are in danger of having multiple risks for heart disease and complications from diabetes. The good news is that with a good healthy lifestyle, including a diet and exercise program, you will have an excellent chance of correcting your waistline. Now, granted, this will not change your body type or your shape, but it will help you to maintain your best shape.
LONG-WAISTED You are considered long-waisted if your height is in your upper body. In other words—you have a long torso; you are relatively tall but you find that no matter the style of most pants, they fit you as though they are a low-rise cut. If you are long-waisted you can get away with weighing more without it showing up as unattractive.
SHORT-WAISTED Consider yourself short-waisted if you have long legs and a short torso; most of the waistbands of your skirts and pants land just under your ribcage.
THICK-WAISTED In many cases a thick waist has more to do with your body shape than weight. If your bust, waist, and hips are similar in measurements you would have a thick waist, or if you have an apple body shape then you would probably have a relatively thick waist. At any rate, if you are healthy, you can create curves through the proper selection of body toning undergarments and clothing. <
Exhale normally. Find the midway point between the bottom of your ribs and top of your hip bone. Wrap the tape around this section of your body, making sure it stays parallel to the floor.
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For more information on achieving a healthy waist size visit LiveStrong.com. To read more about body types, shapes and proportions, read Chloé's book, Getting Ready Chloé-Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image, available at Amazon.com.
IN CONVERSATION WITH PAULA G. VOICE
A JERICHO FORCE: KINGDOM BUSINESS WITH MR. FORTIFY Jason A. Davis helps people to tear down the walls of fear, ignorance, entitlement and comparison. He encourages us not to conform to the world's way of doing business—but to transform to doing business God's way. He is a force—a Jericho force. He is Mr. Fortify! >
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"I went from trying not to be like my parents— running from my past—to running to the future, which was into the arms of God." Paula G.: Share your story with our readers. Who Is Jason Davis? Jason: My name is Jason Davis, but I'm also known as "Mr. Fortify." I'm an author, speaker, teacher, encourager, and stewardship coach. I help Kingdom business owners grow so they can reach their full potential. I've been married to my lovely wife, Desola for six years. I'm excited to serve on a daily basis. Paula G.: What started this journey for you? Because when I hear your name, I hear Mr. Fortify. I hear Jericho Force. Tell us a bit about what inspired this particular journey. Jason: In order to answer that question, Paula, we've got to do some time travel. We have to go back in time, and it has to do with my personal testimony. The year I was born, 1987, my parents filed for bankruptcy. This led to a childhood of financial difficulty. I'm the oldest of three brothers, and we moved nineteen times by the time I was eighteen years old. There were eleven evictions, and multiple car repossessions. That ultimately culminated in a divorce between my parents, which happened during my sophomore year in college at the Georgia Institute of Technology. That was a turning point in my life because everything was falling apart. The family was falling apart—both sides of the family. Church was difficult at that time. Georgia Tech was also hard. My grandmother passed away while I was in college. My youngest brother had kidney failure. So the walls were closing in. And that's where my faith in God was really rooted. Because I didn't really have anyone to depend on at the time. I can remember being on the floor of my dorm room, and I remember the Lord speaking to me saying, "Jason, it may seem like everyone has abandoned you, but I've been here the entire time."
I say all that to tell you what that led to. Initially, it was this intense desire. A chip on my shoulder, if you will, of learning how to handle money. But I had the wrong motivation at first, which was simply trying not to be like my parents. Paula G.: I'm glad you said that, because when we have these life experiences as young people, it manifests in us in different ways. It molds who we ultimately become on our path. We may not necessarily make the best choices along the way, but in hindsight we do understand the motivation behind the choices. Jason: Yes. And so there was that fear, which is really rooted in shame and regret. I went down a path of wanting to learn how to manage money—but with the wrong intent. Just trying not to be like someone else is not a great motivator—not a great way to inspire. And so, really, my faith in God made the difference. As I grew, I went from just doing, learning how to do good things with money. Budgeting, saving, debt, credit and saving for retirement. I went through that. I found that God has a lot to say about money in His word. I went from trying not to be like my parents—running from my past—to running to the future, which was into the arms of God. I experienced His love, grace and mercy, specifically through financial discipleship. It's not even about doing good things with money. It's about being a good steward. So that stewardship learning journey created a burning passion and desire in my heart not just to learn how to do it myself, but to help others, too. And so, God led me to start my business, Jericho Force Enterprises. And there's a whole long story about the dream and the vision I had. I don't have time to tell the
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whole story. But in a nutshell, it was important to me to help people tear down the walls in their life that held them back from a life of freedom. The four walls that I talk about specifically are: fear, ignorance, entitlement and comparison. And so that's where the name Jericho Force comes in. I want to show people how to tear down the walls—those four walls specifically. My mission is to challenge and inspire people to live a life of stewardship. So, I started out initially coaching families and single moms, one on one. And then that evolved into something else, Paula, as many things do. I started getting referrals from all of these families—they kept referring me to business owners. I thought, "That's really unique." I started out with families doing the consumer thing, and it turned into a B-to-B situation. Because of my corporate background and because I'd done a lot of training, other conversations would come up. There were the ideas of leadership, teamwork, communication and management. I had this epiphany in the office, which God showed me one day. The Lord began to make me a Professional Noticer. Here's what happened. I'll make a long story short: You know, we all have experienced encounters with people who are type-A personalities. Well, I was in an office, in a meeting. This particular person was extremely disruptive, and not just on that day. They had a regular pattern of behavior. I was really tired of it. So, when the meeting ended, I stormed out, went toward the bathroom, and in the hallway, God spoke to me. Now I know God speaks to everyone in different ways, but for me He speaks audibly. He said, "Jason, why don't you figure out a way to be an >
"God said, 'Jason, why don't you figure out a way to be an encourager, rather than complain about people?'" Jason, continued: encourager, rather than complain about people?" And it was in that moment that I woke up to the fact that I'm not just here to collect a paycheck; I'm to be a light in the darkness. But it only just started there. God started to show me patterns. "Hey Jason, you see these situations related to hiring and leadership? Continuous improvement? Money? Organization? All of those things are in My word." So, the shift you see today in my business is ultimately the shift to the fact that I now serve faith-based business owners. It came as a result of a five- to six-year culmination in the workplace—when I became a Professional Noticer. God showed me how to tie all those concepts back to Scripture and His word. And that's where the release of my book, Fortify: Being Rooted in God's Plan for Work and Business—that's where that came to fruition. I published that book last year. So, I had the first launch of the business as Jericho Force, one-on-one coaching; then the referrals to business owners; then there was the call to action with what I was going through. Because I still had a day job along with my entrepreneurship. So, all along, God was showing me patterns of connectivity between the two. And then with the publishing of my book—that's when I shifted to exclusively serving faith-based business owners. So that's where the Fortify branding comes from. So now I'm Jason Davis, AKA Mr. Fortify. Paula G.: It circles back to what you said about faith. We encourage our readers to flourish in whatever path they're going in, whatever their journey is. And your journey speaks to faith. We hear it all the time: "Step out on faith," or "Leap, and the net will appear." You're a great example of taking that leap of faith and the net appearing. One thing leading to another.
You listened to God's voice, following His lead. You walked through those doors and were obedient to the path that He put you on. Even though the catalyst—the initial direction wasn't exactly what it should have been. Still, once you implemented that faith, and you started listening to God's voice, you were really able to flourish. Now, I know that you have a bit of an athletic background. How has that mindset helped you? Jason: Oh, it's actually been critical. I had the luxury of playing DivisionOne football at Georgia Tech. My brothers and I were a sports family, so we all played multiple sports growing up. I played football, basketball and ran track. My middle brother played football, basketball and soccer; my youngest brother played football, basketball and baseball. Football was the one that ultimately brought me into college. My parents made sure academics came first. So, I was an honor student throughout high school. And you know that unfortunate term "the dumb jock"? Well, I wasn't that, certainly! That's not to knock other athletes. It's just that my parents were very intentional—especially raising three African American males—they made sure that I was not going to be one of those athletes. Paula G.: Exactly. Jason: So, the combination of being athletic and having high academic excellence brought me to an institution like Georgia Tech. What I love about sports is the lessons, the diligence—the fighting through adversity. You learn how to work with others, developing grit, time management skills, leadership and followership. You learn how to follow a strategy or a plan.
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A lot of people think most sports are just a bunch of men and women running around, kicking or hitting a ball, or running through some sort of finish line. But it's far more intricate than that. That could be another whole conversation—what sports have done for me. A lot of those characteristics permeate throughout my personal and professional life to this day. Paula G.: I'm glad you shared that, because it's important for our readers to know and understand that when we arrive at certain points in our life, it is truly a culmination of all of our life experiences—and what we've drawn from those life experiences. You've shared how your childhood experiences motivated you to where you are. You've shared how sports has been an influence and how you use the lessons you've learned from that. Now, share with us a few nuggets about marriage—and how and why your marriage is successful. Jason: Oh, wow! Yes. Well, I love my Queen Desola. We met at Georgia Tech my sophomore year. A lot of stuff was going on, so we kind of just ran into each other's arms. It was almost like God had a divine appointment. What really helped us out—I don't claim to be an expert on marriage, but—for us, is that we were friends. We became best friends, and then we had significant dating time. Now, no one had cold feet or analysis paralysis or anything, but we had our friendship as a foundation. There's loving one another, but then there's also liking one another. >
"Look for the opportunities to flourish, which are right in front of you." Jason, continued: Yes, I don't just love my wife, I like my wife. Our foundation was friendship. Then that friendship blossomed into passionate, romantic love. And so that's probably one of the biggest things I can offer for a good marriage. Next year it will be seven years. For my wife and me, even when we have different arguments and things like that, what we always come back to is, I don't just love this person; I like this person. My wife is my wife and I'm her husband, but we are also best friends. Paula G.: And that is powerful. Don't discount yourself. I know you're not a marriage expert, but what you just dropped, it was some powerful knowledge. Because it is so true. Many times when I ask that question, I've heard that answer repeatedly. The foundation of a lasting relationship, whether they've been married seven years, or sixty years. They all say the same thing: "He's my best friend" or "She's my best friend." So, thank you for sharing that. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers? Any words of encouragement? Jason: In the days and times that we're living in, I know that many people have dealt with a lot over these last two years, and that is well noted. I just want to encourage people out there. We've all heard the words "unprecedented," and "the new normal." Right now, now is the time to look for opportunities. It's easy to look at the negative. Instead, let's focus on looking for the opportunities. I love the name of the magazine, Paula. Let's flourish. Look for the opportunities to flourish, which are right in front of you. They're here, right up underneath your nose. If you're not careful, you'll miss them. A lot of times, out of things like recessions and other world events, there are wealth transfers, there are influence transfers—there's a changing of the guard. You can take advantage of these opportunities, when you keep a positive attitude—if you're willing to persevere, and willing not to focus on the negative. Of course, we don't not acknowledge what's happened. It's very real. However, where you are now doesn't have to be where you're going to be. A big part for me of how I keep that positive attitude is my faith in Jesus Christ. And I have a good support system with my wife. And my family. And I have friends. And it's important to take some down time, and take a vacation. Physical health is essential. Your mental health is vital. And your soul health. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 35
That's what I want to tell your readers to do. That's what I try to inject into my community, and into my audience. Serving faith-based business owners, I always say, "Hey, listen! God is good. Life is good. So, let's make sure to look for the good things throughout our day, because it's easy to look for the bad things. But always take time each day to be grateful for the good things." Paula G.: And that is what we call a drop-the-mic moment! Nothing more needs to be said after that. Thank you so much, Jason. I appreciate you. <
Married To The MANTRA Keeping romantic relationships energized and purposeful.
A Couple may have the greatest physical attraction for each other— with great sex, love, and respect— but their relationship has slipped out of alignment. Why? Because it's not about that alone. A sustainable, long-lasting, loving, fun, fulfilling relationship is about creating a shared vision, with hope for the future, and likeminded energy, flow and play. But life happens, right? Couples shift, slip, fragment, and may completely deplete their energy. Sometimes they crash and split apart when it appears that nothing in their relationship is working anymore. At best, it's status quo, even robotic. It might seem too hard and painful to continue.
What can a couple do? They can energize and enliven themselves by creating their own Sacred Marriage Mantra—to align their relationship to thrive and flourish again—and maybe for the very first time.
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MARRIED TOTHE MANTRA
CHLOÉ & RICK BROWN SHARE PERSONAL STORIES, LESSONS, PROCESSES, AND STRATEGIES TO HELP COUPLES CREATE SACRED MARRIAGE MANTRAS WHILE OFFERING DIVINE TRUTHS TO REALIGN, REESTABLISH AND REVITALIZE MARRIAGES AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
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CAFFÈ DANESI The quality of true Italian espresso. Each cup of Danesi coffee contains the love and the care of those who give their best to create a unique product, every day. Café I Am.
VISIT CAFÉ I AM thecafeiam.com FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 37
A PERSONAL POWER MANTRA by Janis Hunt Johnson
"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
—Confucius
One of the many advantages of reading for a living is that I’m always learning something new. A book I had the pleasure of editing awhile back was Chloé’s Mantra Creation Workbook. It was such fun for me, for many months I longed to create my own mantra. Recently, I finally made the time to go through the workbook myself—not with the eagleeye of a proofreader but simply as a seeker myself. It required more deep thinking than I’d first expected. I did just a little work on it each day. But the several weeks it took me to complete the workbook turned out to be an exciting and transformative experience! Before I ever saw this workbook, I knew about the usual meaning of the word mantra: “a word, phrase, or sound said repeatedly during meditation.” Focusing on a mantra (aloud or in your thought) in meditation helps you to allow extraneous thoughts to float on by. The word mantra is actually Sanskrit, meaning a “sacred message or text”—literally an “instrument of thought.” It comes from the word manyate, “one who thinks.” In fact, the word man actually goes back to the Sanskrit manu and manas, meaning “mind, spirit.” Years ago, when I first learned to meditate, the instructor asked me to choose a mantra. I picked one at random from her list of Sanskrit words, and began. Since I didn’t know the significance of the word I chose, although repeating the sound in my thought did seem to bolster my mental clarity, it didn’t provide me with any particular meaning. The dictionary defines meditation as “continued or extended thought”; “reflection”; “devout religious contemplation”; or “spiritual introspection.” To meditate upon something is “to consider it to be done,” and “to view something with intention and purpose.” And isn’t this a kind of prayer?
>
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There’s an old proverb that goes something like, “If you want to live your best life, then you should meditate an hour a day—unless you’re really busy. Then you should meditate for two.” So, what if we could meditate not just for an hour, or two—but somehow for our whole life? What if we could choose a mantra of deep meaning, which we could apply throughout the day, every day, to help shape the trajectory of our life’s direction? Buy Chloé’s Mantra Creation Workbook [here]
WRITE THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE When meditation experts talk about applying
The author starts you out by asking you to write down
a mantra (in whatever language you choose),
your “deepest, most wanted desires” with absolute
the emphasis is on “quieting the mental
sincerity. She asks, “How honest and daring are you?
chatter” and “attracting desired vibrations” in
Are you willing to be with yourself?” After that, you are
order to achieve inner tranquility.
also invited to write down what you do not want.
So, when you want to gain clarity on setting a
I stayed with these two tasks for a long while.
new goal, on carving out a new mission, on steering your life onto an uncharted path,
Chloé Taylor Brown took me on a journey of self-
Chloé’s Mantra Creation Workbook shows you
discovery as I explored my true heart’s desires, and
how you can craft a laser-focused message
then took the opportunity to write down a list of words
that you can follow every day, so you won’t
and phrases—adjectives to describe myself—until I
get distracted by anything that might take
came up with “high-level qualifying words” which I
you away from your purpose.
often use to describe myself, and which others have frequently used to describe me.
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>
As I am a lover of words—and enjoy consulting
Putting it all together became a thrilling writing and
the dictionary and thesaurus—this was my
rewriting project that made me feel greatly
favorite part, and took me the longest.
empowered.
It was a fascinating process to observe the
Chloé’s inspirational journey really did lead me to craft
number of words that began to repeat, as
“a beautiful masterpiece that inspires and delights”—
many different synonyms and shades of
perfect just for me, reflecting my “true potential.” I’ve
meaning emerged.
been working on committing it to memory so that I can go forth in my life as Chloé says, “with passion, energy
Eventually Chloé guides you to narrow all this
and certainty—and start self-actualizing!”
down to your very favorite words, which you ultimately incorporate into your “Personal
Who are you? What do you really want? What are your
Power Mantra.”
heart’s desires? What are the gifts you’ve been given to make the world a better place? Who are you becoming? And how will you set your intention to live your purpose as your best self?
<
HERE'S MY PERSONAL POWER MANTRA: “I am an insightful, intuitive spiritual author, interfaith advocate, mystic, and multiculturalist—called to write with optimism, equanimity, and authenticity about the healing power of living prayer.”
WHAT WILL YOURS BE?
Janis Hunt Johnson
Flourish Digital Magazine copyeditor | spiritual author/prayer coach/healer Blog CSRenewal.Medium.com Ministry sites.google.com/view/CSRenewal Editing askjanis.com
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It has been proven that we can accomplish almost anything when it comes to the power contained within our mind. Your mantra activates your power.
Living Feminism:
A Look at the History of African American Teachers by Dr. Gemma Beckley
Finding one’s voice as a feminist requires us to take a historical perspective. The road traveled toward equality has been and continues to be a process, as we build upon the shoulders of women of leadership. Feminism is defined and viewed within a culture in relation to environmental change. A review of the profession of teacher education shows that African American women were deeply active feminist leaders throughout history. Feminism is a doctrine, or principle, stating that women should have rights equal to those of men, especially social and political rights. And what is a feminist? A socially conscious woman or man who believes in and/or works for equality. As an African American woman of the tumultuous 1950s and 60s, most of my childhood heroes and “sheroes” were men and women moving along in their everyday lives working toward equality. Coming of age during the Civil Rights Movement, my world was filled with conscientiously social and politically active African American women and men from every walk of life—educators, laborers and domestic workers. I had been taught by their example to function with a survival mindset. This promoted safety and self-respect, with a quiet, determined self-confidence—maintaining clear goals and a sense of direction. Hester Crawford Jackson, my grandmother, and her friends, many of whom were successful teachers, held this same attitude of dignity and self-preservation. Their notable self-assurance places them among successful African American feminist teachers of the era from 1930 to 1950. This historical glimpse along with a profile of my grandmother show the importance of the sentiments of these women—their voices, their perseverance, their heroism—their resilience. >
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MY GRANDMOTHER, HESTER CRAWFORD JACKSON Among the most heroic actions of feminists of the twentieth century were the sacrifices made for an essential cause, in particular by teachers from 1900 to 1945. In my research I uncovered numerous articles describing the state of African American teachers in the South during this time frame. Basically, there was limited educational training for African American teachers. The environmental conditions of the segregated schools weren't ideal. Yet no matter what, there existed never-ending determination, attention to educational integrity, and professionalism on the part of African American teachers of that era. These are the qualities that have overwhelmingly directed my life and thousands of other African American individuals. The world in which I grew up was filled with determined educators who knew that the fate of the African American race lay in the success of the education of African American children. They saw themselves as trained professionals who embraced logical ideas about how to teach African American children, which was consistent with their professional discussions and their understanding of the African American community. Although there were obstacles to maintaining this strong sense of professionalism, this was surely the posture of which I was most aware as the child of a teacher. We felt that there was no prouder profession than being a teacher. Sacrifices to become a part of this profession were many— but I'll tell you about at least two of them. The first one was that there was a marital rule: Women were prohibited from getting married. The second one was that there were changing requirements regarding educational credentials. These historical policies provide us with valuable insight when it comes to understanding the essence of feminism. It's true: There really were states prohibiting teachers to marry. This was the Birmingham Alabama school policy in 1935, affecting many a young woman’s life. Certainly, this included the fact that teachers were not allowed to become pregnant, since marriage was prohibited. In Oregon, there were no statutory prohibitions. However, the Supreme Court issued two decisions in 1915 and in 1934 upholding school districts' policies prohibiting women teachers from getting married. As was the case in Alabama in 1934, a survey by the National Education Association of fifty Executive Secretaries around the United States found that the policy regarding married women was determined by local school boards rather than the state. In 1935, the New Hampshire Supreme Court upheld a case requiring female teachers to resign upon marriage.
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Hester Crawford Jackson, my grandmother, was a teacher for forty-four years, forty of which were in the Birmingham, Alabama public school system. She began her teaching career around 1925, and retired in 1972. She became a teacher at a time when either the law or politics prohibited women from marrying if they were teachers, particularly in some school systems within some states as described above. So, with this policy and her deep desire to be a teacher, my grandmother chose not to marry but to pursue her earnest ambition to become a teacher. This was the case for many aspiring teachers. My research has not confirmed nor refuted the likelihood of this rule applying to male teachers. Among Black women, Hester exuded the values and characteristics of a feminist. She finally had her opportunity for marriage in 1945. As I grew up, I realized that about three of her closest friends who were also teachers had married “late in life”—in their forties and fifties—so the opportunity to have children was even less likely. These friends of hers were like my extended family, with their husbands of later years all involved in the rearing of a child. I considered them my godparents and aunts. These goal-oriented, well-directed, self-confident women exemplified feminist values—always working toward equality within the system. >
Prior to the mid-1920s, most teachers in schools were primarily high school graduates. Most data suggest that private Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs) provided most African Americans with Teacher Education degrees. In my family, the final Teacher Education degree was provided by Alabama’s public College for Coloreds. My grandmother was a smart high school graduate in the 1920s. At that time she became a teacher, but as the requirements increased by the late 1930s and 40s she had to have at least two years of college. I have fond memories of my grandfather driving us to Montgomery, Alabama to spend the Summer there while my grandmother attended Alabama State to complete her newly required Bachelor’s degree in the late 1950s. When I decided to take my two young children to New York in 1978 to pursue my doctorate, it seemed very natural to go after what was necessary to secure my professional future. My grandmother had explained to me in 1958, “If you can see it, you can be it. And you are smart enough to be anything you want to be.” I look back on my childhood and young adult years knowing that these experiences were not unique in my community. In my segregated world, women did not hear their own voices. Later in my life, when I traveled the world studying other cultures and researching the status of women, I recognized again and again that same attitude of determination, self-preservation and selfconfidence that exemplifies a feminist perspective. Around the world, women everywhere, within their own cultural context, have not heard their own voices. This was then, and it is still the case now. As women, we are continuing to define and act out our feminism. Have you found your voice? Do you recognize it? <
Sources
Acker, S. "Gender and Teachers Work.” Review of Research in Education. Vol. 21 (1995–1996), p. 99– 162. "Negro Higher and Professional Education in the United States." Journal of Negro Education. Summer 1948. Vol. 17, No. 3, p. 249–254. Fairclough, Adam. A Class of their Own: Black Teachers in the Segregated South. Boston: Harvard University Press, 2007.
Dr. Gemma Beckley, Professor Emeritus of Rust College.
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POLICY CHANGES IN EDUCATION FOR TEACHERS EVOLVED OVER MANY YEARS.
Hurricane Strong by Paula G. Voice
As men and women, we have our respective strengths. This is not to suggest that men are not strong. But let me put it this way. The late Betty White said, “Butterflies are like women: We may look pretty and delicate, but baby, we can fly through a hurricane.” Butterflies go through transitions as they mature and grow. In one stage of life, they crawl close to the ground or on the leaves of trees. The caterpillar goes through a metamorphosis and emerges as a butterfly. One day the caterpillar spins into a cocoon and a butterfly emerges. It's a complete and utter Life and what it has to offer comes in transformation. Isn’t that seasons. Life can sometimes hit us hard. In amazing?
As the caterpillar transforms into a cocoon there is some inside work that takes place, some cases, we feel as though we are going which transforms it into a butterfly. I’d like to to crash and burn. And some of us do. But we think of that spinning time as a means of always have the power to experience a type shedding off the old and emerging into the of transformation. We all will experience new. It may take awhile to get used to your these moments in life that seem to be authentic self. The people around you may insurmountable showstoppers. But if we look not recognize who you are at first. But once at the situation through the eyes of the you get accustomed to the new you—oh caterpillar, so to speak, we can see that a what a beautiful feeling it is. It’s almost like transformation can occur. you are living in a whole new world.
Many of us have gone through a metamorphosis. We live life crawling around looking for solutions to change our situation. One day we find enough strength and energy to spin ourselves out of the cocoon we were in. And then we emerge as Sometimes we try to fit in so much that we get lost and forget who we really are. But we butterflies and soar!
can shed that old skin—the old personas, the old way we used to do things, the old way we used to think. We can take charge of a new conversation in between our ears—a new conversation that speaks life into who we are and who we have the potential to become. It is such a feeling of freedom to be able to walk in to being who you are authentically. WWW.PAULAGVOICE.COM @PAULAGVOICE
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PAULA G VOICE
Butterflies are beautiful creations that come in all sorts of distinctive colors. They go from flower to flower, tree to tree, always landing gently just for a moment and then they're off to the next destination. Our experiences in life are seasonal. Some are but for a moment in time, others are for a lifetime. Either way, there will be opportunities to transform into who you are truly meant to be—and flourish! <
FUN-damental by Laurie M. Renfro
A lot of us were enjoying a time of latent adulting when Tom Tom Club came out with their 1981 hit, Genius of Love. With bass-driven lyrics that pay tribute to notable musicians including George Clinton, Bootsy Collins, Smokey Robinson, Bob Marley, Kurtis Blow and James Brown, the song asked, “What do you consider fun? Fun, natural fun.” You know the cut. Mariah Carey used it on her 1995 hit, Fantasy. It was sampled by Grandmaster Flash on It's Nasty and by Ziggy Marley on a remix of Tumblin' Down. Tearing up the dance floor with the Errol Flynn—or, for people like me of the one and three beat, the old standby two-step—fans of the single were more inclined to a line in the song’s last stanza ("Who needs to think when your feet just flow") rather than the paradigmatic question, "What do you consider fun?" And that was as it should have been. Yet to take on full adulthood, fun was still a given. Youthful pursuits and play were easily accessible, and a priority. Only the eventual move to practical adult life—and the corollary challenges of time, relationships and resources—would bring us to an eventual and unplanned distance from actual fun. Newly preoccupied with grinding out a living and raising families, personal interests tumbled toward the end of the line. And with the needs of others increasingly paramount, many of our original notions of fun seemed no longer practical. So we made lemonade. And Lemon Drops, too. Instead of dancing the night away at the latest hot spot, we opted for happy hour—wherever we could squeeze it in. Replacing stimulating activities that engaged muscle and mind, we scheduled brunch after brunch. And feeling flush with new income and credit cards, we gave preference to sedate travel with room service and minibars rather than the “roughing it,” budget-bound adventures of the past. >
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It’s the rush of a rollercoaster ride, the thrill when home base comes into view, the excitement you feel when the DJ plays Wobble at the party. Caught up in the dynamics of daily life we barely noticed our increasing alienation from fun. And we probably didn’t give much credence to the critical connection between a thriving body and mind and the experience of fun. I know I didn’t. It was not until a few months ago that a thing happened right in my own living room that triggered a new and serious consideration of fun. It was an ordinary afternoon, and Alexa, in the rare mood to cooperate, played It’s Written All Over Your Face by Gerald Levert and the Rude Boys on my first command. I’ve loved the song since it came out in 1990 and it still gives me that painfully sweet feeling from days long gone when a boy would figure out that I liked him. As I sang along with the on-screen lyrics, out of seemingly nowhere my new housemate rushed up and pressed a karaoke microphone into my hand. As if injected with a paralytic drug, my body stiffened and I held the mic like a mannequin might hold a bouquet of flowers. "Microphones are for singers," I thought, and, in an internal Kevin Hart voice, my mind continued with, “the way my voice is set up. . . .” But my housemate would not relent. With ready excitement and zero judgment she stood with me at the screen and egged me on. Under the heat of her expectant gaze and despite my trepidation, I decided to give it a try. But when I lifted the microphone to my lips my chattering mind jumped back in the game and sent me on a whole new freak-out. My cheeks flushed and the sound of my pulse took on a thunderous roar in my head. In the habit of self-critique I became a Gong Show audience of one. "Do I sound OK? Can I keep up with the lyrics? Am I supposed to sing the lead and the backup?" The voice in my head was severe and incessant, and the song nearly ended before I saw my folly. By turning the inconsequential act of singing into a measured task, I was sacrificing an opportunity for fun. I finally gathered myself and decided to give my all to the song's last few lines. Holding the mic with new conviction I raised my head and my voice and watched the selfimposed veil of judgment fall. Fighting the discomfort was tough, but worth it. In just a few short moments I found myself reunited with fun.
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“It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.” Remember that from Mama when we started playing rough back in the day? It’s funny to recall. Yet in some contexts, well-meaning sayings like this feed the idea that fun is dangerous and even negligible. But neither is true. Fun is not just good for the human body and mind but it is essential for our wholeness. By natural design, fun instigates delivery of chemical rewards such as dopamine, serotonin and other “happy hormones.” Fun-filled play stretches the imagination and carves out space for invention and creativity. In its abstract, natural fun offers a renewable metaphoric palette on which we can sketch our dreams, solve important questions, and rest and rejuvenate our bodies. It’s the rush of a rollercoaster ride, the thrill when home base comes into view, the excitement you feel when the DJ plays Wobble at the party. It’s the endorphins that tickle our fancy in the presence of a winning hand of cards, when we mount a crest at the end of a hike, or anticipate prevailing in a friendly bake-off or an old-school game of Operation. Fun is fundamental. It's an essential piece in the foundation of be-ing. And yet it's purely voluntary. Like salvation offered by a Higher Power, it is only by way of considered personal choice that adults are allowed entry into the flourishing kingdom of fun. The ability to have fun is part of your purposeful design. Relax into it. Realize it. Relish it. Let go of the rope and have some fun—"fun, natural fun.” <
Laurie Renfro is a writer and spiritual seeker with a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology from Sofia University in Palo Alto, California (formerly the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology) @routineinterrupted Laurie Renfro
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS DON'T WORK HOW TO GET IN FRONT OF YOUR HEALTH AND FITNESS GOALS FOR 2023
BY BELLA YEMAYA Do not read this unless you are going to grant yourself permission to get really real. Year after year, the Winter season is when you drop the ball on your health and fitness goals. There are plenty of reasons: You’re dragging to the finish line; kids have finals; there are tests, parties, games, and football. There are three YOLO extravagant holidays back to back. We easily lose motivation when we are not showing as much skin in the cold weather months. Oh! And it may be “shack up” time for those who entered relationships earlier in the year. Long story short, at this time of year, you start celebrating outside of your healthy boundaries because you have yet to understand that your goals live inside a healthy lifestyle based on small, daily habits. >
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USUALLY, THIS IS HOW IT GOES: In January and February it was a “new year, new you”—where you bought fitness products, started a diet, and restricted yourself from the celebratory fun you were having a month ago (down five pounds). Then you get tired of it and start going out every weekend for brunch specials (up ten pounds). Oh—but wait, it’s 'bout to be a hot girl Summer, so you go back to 100 from zero, trying to lose forty pounds in four weeks (down five pounds). Even when you go on vacation, you immediately quit your healthy habits as soon as you exit the airplane since there’s no sense of pressure from the one in four beach bodies who are overweight or obese, or from your friends and family who are all running from reality (up 12 pounds from five days of vacay). And then we get to the Fall and Winter (Up five to ten pounds from eating and drinking yourself into old habits). Within one year, you have gained ten to fifteen pounds. And this, compounded over a twelve-year period, can have you up 100+ pounds from your younger years. The moral of the story is that 100 percent or nothing never works. But if you are living a lifestyle, the small consistent changes will go on for longer stints that will give you lasting results. And you will never feel like they are too hard to manage. The second trap that baffles many others is a weekly cycle of mismanaging stress. Monday through Wednesday, everything is good. You feel like you are eating well, exercising, and drinking water. Thursday and Friday come along and you are ready to turn up in anticipation of the end of the week. You're out in the streets, losing sleep, and the wine and liquor bottles somehow are empty at night before bed. Then Sunday, the smoke clears. You realize that you eliminated three days of progress with four days of wild’n out. All the progress you made in three days was obliterated by the weekend—all 52 weeks of the year. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 49
Here’s what you can do now, if you have an extra twenty pounds to lose this year: Do what you need to do first, and then do what you want to do. Drink your water before alcohol. Get some sleep before you go out. Eat some fruits and veggies before you tear up the wings. Move your body before you watch sports all day. Take a deep breath alone before people get in your face. These five things will help you finally see progress this year. Start this now, and get ahead, feel energized, and maybe even drop five pounds a month. Because you can—with easy, healthy lifestyle hacks. <
For a more in-depth conversation about conquering your goals with ease, head to LOSINGWEIGHTWITHEASE.COM
Bella Yemaya is a Health Coach and Weight Loss Specialist
@bellayemaya
ADOPTIONS AND ANGEL WINGS: ONE ATLANTA ATTORNEY’S JOURNEY Did you know that angels actually walk among us? Ina Johnson Cook is one such example. Attorney Cook, based in Atlanta, just received her Congressional Angel Wings pin from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute (CCAI) this Fall. Ina was one of two honorees from the state of Georgia to win this award. In this day and age, when every issue seems to be split down party lines, adoption and the prosperity of our foster care system is an issue that both Republicans and Democrats agree upon. CCAI is the largest bipartisan legislative caucus. The Angels in Adoption® Leadership Program honors a wide spectrum of individuals and organizations making extraordinary contributions in adoption, permanency and child welfare. Each year, awardees travel to Washington, DC to not only celebrate their hard work and dedication to the issues but also to participate in special events. These events are designed to engage participants in applying their personal experience to effect change on behalf of children who are in need of safe and nurturing families.
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Ina’s support for foster care children began soon after her entry into Emory University Law School in 1994. She began by volunteering to support children in foster care during her school breaks, but she also encouraged others in her campus ministry and fellow law students to be involved with gift-giving at Christmas time. Her passion for advocacy with children in the foster care system garnered her a prestigious position at the Barton Child Law and Policy Clinic. Shortly after she graduated, Ina became the first attorney to work at the City of Atlanta Protective Order Clinic, which provides free protective orders to battered partners and children. >
INA CHOOSES TO FOCUS HER ATTENTION ON THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERED HARD TO PLACE IN FOSTER CARE. In 1999, she opened her own law firm specializing in adoption law—concerning immigration, sexual abuse and pregnancy in foster care. Ina’s own adoption dreams came true in 2005 when she was able to adopt her daughter. Adoption is an integral part of who Ina is—how she lives her life and helps others.
A COMMON MISCONCEPTION IS THAT CHILDREN FROM THE FOSTER CARE SYSTEM WILL BE SEVERELY BEHAVIORALLY IMPAIRED OR THAT THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY MAY LOSE CUSTODY AT SOME POINT When prospective parents are interested in adoption through the state, Ina encourages them “to be up front and specific in their desire to adopt and not just foster a child.” She adds, “It is important to know your limitations” with respect to behavioral issues. The benefits of adoption through the foster care system include the option to specify gender and age. Another advantage is the cost: It costs very little, or it can even be free. Private adoption agencies can charge anywhere from $15,000 to $50,000. >
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NOVEMBER IS NATIONAL ADOPTION MONTH Because of her widespread recognition through her Angels In Adoption award, Ina is on the path to changing policies with regard to adoption. She will be fighting to change the policy under the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act, which currently states that foster children who are not legal residents must exit the system when they're eighteen—instead of at age twenty-one like their citizen counterparts. November is National Adoption Month, and National Adoption Day falls on the nineteenth this year. This calendar day is a collective effort to raise awareness of the more than 115,000 children waiting to be adopted. A coalition of national partners—the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute, the Alliance for Children’s Rights and the Children’s Action Network—got together to found National Adoption Day on November 18, 2000. Nine cities were encouraged to open their courts on or around the Saturday before Thanksgiving to finalize and celebrate adoptions from foster care. Policy makers, practitioners and advocates have collaborated to plan this annual event in 400 cities across the United States. To date, the dreams of more than 75,000 children in foster care have come true. (For more information, visit www.nationaladoptionday.org.) This year in Georgia, the Juvenile Courts in DeKalb, Fulton and Gwinnett counties will be participating. Ina has been active in National Adoption Day activities since its early inception. Not only does she represent clients, but she is also a featured speaker, and she volunteers alongside her family. This year will be no exception. Ina anticipates this event every year. “Adoption Day is special to me because it shows that our society values adoptions and understands the vital importance to our communities of every child having a safe, stable family.”
With ongoing education, many judges, attorneys, court clerks, medical professionals, social workers and prospective adoptive parents benefit. Ina strongly believes that everyone—especially birth parents, whether volunteering to surrender their rights or having their rights terminated by a court—deserves to be respected in this process. As a result, Ina takes the time to listen and help birth parents fully comprehend their rights. In recent years, Ina has become involved in immigration-related adoptions. She is one of four attorneys in the state of Georgia who possesses expertise in this area. The numerous forms alone become a daunting task to understand. A child’s ability to become a legal citizen is severely hindered when the proper filings are not accomplished. Ina works diligently to educate those on this journey with hopes of securing their future in the United States. Ina, a hard-fighting angel in disguise, continuously advocates for children’s rights through educating legal communities, agencies and families—all instrumental in the adoption process. If your heart is touched, and your family is called to adopt a child, feel free to reach out and call Attorney Cook’s office at 770-982-2920. <
In the last decade, Ina’s experience and knowledge has been called upon by many in the legal system. She is frequently requested by judges from several counties as a courtappointed investigator to review the work of other attorneys. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 52
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ANTOINETTE
MARIE
STAYING STYLISH AND CLASSY: WHY AUTHENTICITY IN BUSINESS IS THE BEST ACCESSORY FOR MARIE ANTOINETTE.
by Karen Gamba
“I think my directness and honesty have worked. I don’t waste people’s time and I want what’s best for myself and the other person,” Marie Antoinette says to me. Her unflinching authenticity feels surprising at first. It’s not often I meet high-level professionals who have such comfortableness in staying true to who they are, no matter what. I settle in quickly and realize that Marie is not trying to take me off guard. She is simply unapologetically true to herself. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 54
Marie was born in Tampa, Florida, the youngest of four sisters. From an early age, she was deeply inspired by her mother’s hard work and dedication to her family. That dedication instilled deep care for others in her, which led her to study healthcare. Eventually, she entered a career in anesthesiology. Despite her background in healthcare, Marie always had a passion for art, design, creative styling, and fashion. Her true calling emerged when a woman in a fabric store told her, “You're pretty for a dark-skinned girl.” Surprised that skin tone and color were still such bold narratives in today’s society, Marie started writing her book entitled Melanin, which eventually became a documentary. From there, Marie has developed a lifestyle brand. She positively demystifies colorism, which is the biased or prejudicial treatment of people belonging to the same race, based on skin pigmentation.
BE
AUTHENTIC “I believe the only way to be truly successful and happy in anything we do in life is to be authentic. Invest in building true relationships and find ways to give back to communities," says Marie. "Always rely on your core values and align yourself with people that you respect and who respect you in return. My work is about creating art in all forms for all people. I believe we can get closer to a truly inclusive world, with fewer stigmas attached, if we are more open, vulnerable, and willing to learn from each other.” For more about Marie Antoinette, her philanthropy and her creative projects, visit: @marieantoinette929 www.melanin929.com
by Karen Gamba, CEO, The ExV Agency The ExV Agency
In 2021, Marie launched Sapphire Diamonds, a bold and inclusive clothing brand. She also created the Sapphire Diamond Awards— an award that recognizes members of the community who are making an impact through relevant socio-economic initiatives. “No matter what I do, I want to have positive effects, on all people. I want to surround myself with positive, influential people who are doing the work to effect change. I’m not sold on 'celebrity status.' I believe in doing, not just talking about it.” This year, Marie launches part 2 of her Melanin documentary. She will expand her messaging about fashion, inclusivity, authenticity in business, and art—in partnership with several corporate and educational institutions around the country. <
'TIS THE SEASON FOR SOCIAL SELF CARE by Elena Taylor-Bagger
Is it just me—or did this year fly by? It’s already cuffing season, sweater weather—with fireplace smells and pumpkin lattes. It's cozy-up-withyour-favorite-blanket-and-drink time, and all that comes with the brisk breezes of Autumn all day long! So, what are your plans for this Fall? The season isn’t just a weekend, it’s a whole three-month vibe to get you outdoors, and into the mood for the holidays. As moms we have the ninja-like capability of finding out the next-best things for us to do alone or with our family—so let’s get to it.
But First, Self Care.
Time away for you, coming up to the holidays, is crucial for the movers and shakers we call Mom. Renewing our mind, body, soul and spirit comes with what we normally think of as self care, but there’s more to it than that. Self care doesn’t always have to be alone time. While that’s great, we most definitely can add some social self care as well. I’ve listed eighteen ways for you to enjoy social self care. >
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18 IDEAS FOR YOUR SOCIAL SELF CARE 1. Plan time away with friends to have a bit of Fall fun. 2. Enjoy Fall festivals. It seems every city has a festival each week—there’s plenty to choose from. 3. Take in a morning stroll through your local farmer's market. You will soon realize there are so many mom entrepreneurs out here. Who knows? You might be the next one waiting to pop onto the scene. 4. Go on a hayride! (Still a favorite of mine.) 5. How about dance lessons—just in case you must show off your moves at a holiday party! 6. Karaoke night out. 7. Bonfires are tried and true—great when coupled with a full moon and a sky full of stars. 8. BBQ with family and friends! It’s not just for the Summer. 9. Take a hike among the Fall foliage. You can forage for safe-to-eat food while hiking. 10. Rent a cabin alone—or with family and friends. 11. Go camping or glamping. (I think I’ll opt on the side of glamping these days.) 12. Have fresh baked cookies during the week. It makes the house smell amazing! 13. Go stargazing. 14. Grab some snacks, jump in the car, let down the windows, and go for a long drive to explore places you haven’t before. 15. Host a picnic in the park. 16. Try your hand at photography. Smart phones make this an easy hobby. 17. Walk barefoot in the grass. 18. Simply be still, lie down outside and let the breezes take you away! This is a small list compared to all the limitless possibilities. So take your pick or come up with some of your own. Enjoy your time this Fall!
Elena Taylor-Bagger is founder of The Innovative Mom, and single mom to five young adults. www.theinnovativemom.com @theinnovativemom the innovative mom
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An epidemic is sweeping the globe. It impacts one in five children and has already left nearly 300 million survivors in its wake. And yet, in many homes and communities it is rarely talked about. The epidemic: child sexual abuse. Because this type of abuse thrives on silence and secrecy, the antidote is bringing the issue to light. Saprea, a global nonprofit, is focused on liberating individuals and society from child sexual abuse and its lasting impacts. Now in its eighth year, Saprea has served more than fourteen million people through its program services and online resources. “There is still much more to do,” acknowledges Saprea Founder and Board Chair Shelaine Maxfield. “We are pivoting to something greater. We are hopeful we can reach more survivors, more parents, more partners, and more communities worldwide.” Educating the public to the facts of child sexual abuse is a critical step. “Child sexual abuse itself is horrific, and its lasting impacts are typically much greater than most people realize,” says Maxfield. “Saprea needs to do more to strengthen survivors and to change communities.” Survivors are three times more likely than the general population to attempt suicide, five times more likely to be hospitalized for a physical or mental health challenge, and forty percent more likely to drop out of high school or college. For survivors of child sexual abuse, healing can take years of work and support before relief is found. Some sixty to seventy percent of child sexual abuse survivors do not disclose their abuse until they are adults. “Many survivors go on to experience the impacts of this trauma for years, even decades,” says Saprea Managing Director Chris Yadon. “They struggle with symptoms like anxiety, depression, insomnia, substance abuse, and suicidal ideation. Sadly, these impacts affect not only the survivors but also others in their lives who are connected to them.” When adult women are ready and able to seek help for the childhood trauma they experienced, Saprea offers hope and healing as part of its educational healing retreats in Dawson County, Georgia, and in Utah County, Utah. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 58
The Saprea Retreat is a free, clinically informed fourday experience followed by a self-guided online course. The retreat teaches survivors about trauma’s impacts, provides opportunities to apply healing tools and builds community among survivors. This experience lays a foundation for accelerated healing. The companion online course builds a deeper understanding and thorough application. One survivor of sexual abuse who attended the Saprea Retreat writes: “When the retreat day arrived, I felt a rollercoaster of emotions. I got off the plane and waited, looking around trying to figure out who else was there. Then we started gathering. Seeing so many faces and knowing that those women understood what I was going through without even talking—it was a feeling of comfort, because I wasn’t alone anymore. There were more survivors like me! Once inside the house, with the outpouring of support I received, the classes I attended—how spoiled I felt. The relationships I built with the other attendees became life-lasting experiences. I finally understood that my feelings are valid, that there is a path of healing.” This fall Saprea is holding its first ever Kosher Retreat at its Utah location. Kosher is the term used to describe food that complies with the dietary standards of traditional Jewish law. The retreat chefs are working closely with Rabbi Avremi Zippel at Chabad Lubavitch of Utah to ensure a proper dietary framework for food preparation, processing and consumption. Additionally, Rabbi Zippel and Saprea are working together to ensure that the entire direction of the retreat is conducive to the unique needs of the Jewish community. Yadon says that the impacts of the Saprea Retreat have been validated by published academic research and by a global impact research firm. “Findings show that a year after survivors go through the program, they experience, on average, a thirtyseven percent reduction in Post-Traumatic Stress symptoms, and a forty-five percent increase in life satisfaction. More than ninety percent of retreat participants also encourage other survivors to attend the retreat.” Saprea realizes that not every survivor can attend one of its retreats, which is why it also offers peer-led sexual abuse support groups across the globe. Saprea Support Groups provide a safe place where survivors can have a voice. Because every participant is a survivor of child sexual abuse, individuals who attend support groups can talk openly and honestly about their feelings and experiences with others who understand. Participants also learn tools and practices to help manage triggers and other symptoms of trauma. Saprea currently has support groups in thirteen countries—with materials offered in English, Spanish, French and German.
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“Support groups can be a validating and healing space where you hear others share similar thoughts and feelings—almost as if they are speaking your truth and your story,” says Saprea Clinical Therapist Lauren Stewart. “Individuals can experience a sense of empowerment, control and hope for their situation and their future.” Most recently, Saprea launched a series of free, research-based online healing resources for survivors of child sexual abuse on its website at www.saprea.org. These new resources provide education on the effects of abuse, ways in which those effects commonly manifest in the lives of adult survivors, and practical tools and strategies they can use to reduce or manage them. In an effort to help adult female survivors of child sexual abuse jumpstart their healing from home, Saprea has also created a Healing Webinar. Offered twice a month, the Healing Webinar is a half-day interactive and educational virtual experience for survivors. The webinar is led by a Saprea Clinical Therapist who specializes in trauma recovery. This gives a safe and supportive online environment for participants to learn about the impacts of trauma, providing them with healing tools to apply in everyday life. The webinar covers the following topics: trauma and the brain and body; connecting with one’s body; grounding techniques and coping skills; shame and self-compassion; and healthy connections. Individuals who are interested can request additional information by emailing healingwebinar@saprea.org. Saprea also provides online prevention resources and community education materials for parents and caregivers to reduce the risk of their children ever being impacted by abuse. The resources give parents information on starting conversations with their children about healthy sexuality, online safety and the importance of boundaries. “We want to become the leader in the allencompassing fight against child sexual abuse,” Maxfield reiterates. “I personally invite others to join today in this fight—for it truly is a fight—to break the epidemic that impacts millions of children around the world. Every child deserves a childhood filled with love, laughter, safety and security.” < by Melinda Colton Saprea Communications Manager mcolton@saprea.org
Saprea.org
FINANCIAL ABUSE Finances and domestic violence can sometimes be intertwined. This is an important topic for everyone—but women in particular should pay attention. One in four women will experience domestic violence at some point in her life. Ninety-nine percent of these victims will also suffer financial abuse. In fact, many women stay in abusive relationships due to financial obstacles and financial dependence, especially if they have children.
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Learn To Protect Yourself
by Kim Scouller
FINANCIAL ABUSE: It doesn’t start out looking like abuse. It’s important that all women understand one very important fact: You should never stay in an abusive relationship or continue to be the victim of domestic violence because of money. You can recover financially, and you can learn to make it on your own. Even if you feel overwhelmed, don’t know where to begin, or can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you just need to get out. How can you help avoid becoming the victim of financial abuse? I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years, and here are my best tips.
Look for red flags It doesn’t start out looking like abuse. Your partner may say something like, “Honey, let me take care of the finances so you don’t have to worry about it.” You may think, “Wow, he really loves me. He wants to take care of me.” Then, slowly, bit by bit over time, your partner takes complete control over the finances. Abusers use financial control, isolation, and intimidation to keep their victims trapped. Here's how the abuser works. Does your partner deny or limit your access to money, or to information about money? Does your partner hide assets, demand a detailed accounting of how money is spent, criticize your financial decisions or threaten to withhold money? Abusive partners might also try to sabotage your career or academic pursuits—by forcing you to miss or quit work or school, by harassing you at work or school, by belittling your accomplishments, or even by physically injuring you to prevent you from going to work or school. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 61
Many abusive partners also run up debt under your name and ruin your credit score. This leaves you with limited access to financial resources and may take years for you to clear up.
Be involved with the finances I meet with many couples, and one of the biggest mistakes I see time and again is that one person knows everything about the financial picture while the other person in the relationship is totally in the dark. Even in the healthiest relationships, both parties should know exactly what is going on. At the very least, know the basics: like how much money is coming in each month, where it is being spent, how much is in savings and investments, and whether the credit cards and other debts are being paid off. You should also regularly review the bank statements, investment statements, creditcard statements and mortgage statements. This practice also helps protect you from becoming a victim of financial abuse if things ever take a turn for the worst.
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Talk about the problem It’s understandable for women to want to stay quiet and not let others find out about what they are going through. This makes things worse, not better. Women need to come together and speak out. Because your story—and the steps you took, or plan to take, to regain your financial footing—could be exactly what will help another woman during this difficult time in her life. This is not something that anybody should have to go through alone. Talking about what you’re going through may help you discover what community resources and support from family and friends are available to help. When women come together and support one another, we are stronger.
Learn how money works Unfortunately, we aren’t taught basic financial principles in school. And sadly, many women stay in abusive relationships because of money. You don’t have to be a financial professional to learn how to become financially free, to build your savings, to learn about basic investment strategies or to find out how to make your money grow. There are many books and online resources that can help you get started. Even if you’re starting from scratch or starting over, just start educating yourself.
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Put a personal financial safety plan in place Almost every aspect of leaving an abusive situation involves money—from putting gas in the car to buying a bus or plane ticket, to finding a new place to live to putting food on the table. Even after they leave, many victims carry the burden of bad credit, judgment liens, bankruptcies and back taxes for years. This is why it’s crucial to have an individual financial safety plan in place that can carry you at least six months to help pay bills, rent, insurance, and other expenses. Start stashing cash away, a little at a time, and keep it in a safe place—along with important documents like birth certificates, marriage certificates, and Social Security cards. If you can’t take possession of the documents, take pictures with your phone. Take pictures of bank, investment, and other financial documents. Also, take pictures of significant assets in your home. Request a copy of your credit report from one of the three major credit bureaus. You can request a free copy online at www.annualcreditreport.com. Open bank accounts—and at least one credit card— in your own name, with the statements sent to a secure email address or mailing address.
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Most importantly, seek help from local resources, in addition to family and friends. To find resources in your area, go to DomesticShelters.org or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
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For a complimentary copy of the book How Money Works: Stop Being A Sucker by Steve Siebold and Tom Mathews, please send me an email at kim.scouller@wealthwave.com. Sources: VeryWellMind, “How to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship,” Carly Snyder, MD, May 6, 2020. https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse4155224 debt.org, “Financial Assistance for Domestic Violence & Financial Abuse Survivors.” https://www.debt.org/advice/financial-help-domesticviolence-victims/ Allstate Foundation, “Financial Abuse: the invisible weapon of domestic violence.” https://allstatefoundation.org/what-we-do/enddomestic-violence
www.wealthwave.com
LEADING WITH EMPATHY
by Seane Shaw
I’ve had the pleasure of knowing this phenomenal women all her life. In Florida, where it’s warm and the sun shines brightly, it's no wonder that one of its offsprings would grow up to become a ray of light for so many. Leah Hobson, now Vice President and Chief Financial Officer of Northwestern Medicine Palos Hospital in Palos Heights, Illinois, is a loving and nurturing mother, and an exceptionally smart and dynamic leader who has earned the respect of the healthcare industry. The energy in the room is elevated when she walks in, because her steps are divinely ordered, with compassion and empathy. She graduated from the prestigious Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, and earned her MBA at Stanford. She definitely has the brains and beauty to chart her own path. I'm excited to share here some of the essence of who she is, and of what she contributes to society with such exceptional style and grace.
Leah Hobson, VP & CFO of Northwestern Medicine Palos Hospital, Palos Heights, Illinois
photos by Katrina Wittkamp SS - Introduce yourself to our readers, Leah. LH - I’m a Southern girl, who’s a child of God first. I’m very compassionate and empathetic. That has really been consistent in my journey thus far. I’ve been fortunate enough to have lived abroad and visited various countries, providing me with perspective—which has come full circle to who I am overall. Those experiences—along with other areas of my life, such as my academic studies, and worklife along with my home-life—have all grounded me in what I know to be true. SS - Now that you are VP and CFO of a hospital, do you ever ask yourself, "How did I get here?" LH - I don’t, really. I knew back in seventh grade that I loved people and numbers. That carried me through my entire academic journey. Those years prepared me for my experience as a banker in London. The fascination with numbers and how money was handled at a corporate level— it was all solidified when I had the ability to marry my passions with finance to caring for the wellbeing of others. There was also something endearing and nostalgic about the healthcare industry, since many of my family members were in healthcare in some capacity. So it was a perfect pairing of numbers and caring for people.
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LH, continued - Healthcare is where I’m going to be because it helps people. Although it’s a huge lift when it comes to ensuring that nurses are paid, and that buildings remain operational, and so on—it’s all well worth it. I've come full circle to who I’ve always been as that young girl in the seventh grade. SS - What has been your greatest challenge as a healthcare executive? LH - With all the turmoil of the pandemic, it's been ensuring that all of our medical staff had all the proper PPE. That was a good challenge because it was great to be helping people. There were a lot of late nights and conversations with banks to make sure everything was properly handled financially. As I transitioned from leading treasury to becoming a hospital CFO, I was going through the personal challenge of a divorce. I had to make sure that my girls were OK—having to become accustomed to living in two separate homes. There were a lot of unknowns that I was faced with—new job, new living arrangements, a whole new living model with my kids. So there was a significant amount of change management that was happening personally and professionally, which required me to have a certain amount of agility and compassion. Through it all, I’ve become stronger and more resilient. SS - With all that has happened and things that you’ve experienced, what would you say is your life's calling?
"One of my callings in life is helping others feel seen."
LH - I don’t think I’ve ever said this out loud. But one of my callings in life is helping others feel seen. It’s sometimes a moment-by-moment calling. For instance, we started a Black
SS - With the pandemic, there has been so much transformation. How has your reflection in the mirror changed from ten years ago compared to today? And what have you told yourself that’s different? LH - Oh wow. Ten years ago, that was 2012, which was a big time in my life. I became a mother for the first time. I lost my very dear father and grandfather. I also lost my very close friend from college. All within a four- or five-month time frame. That was the first time in my adult life that I experienced significant loss. All while being pregnant. I was really at my most vulnerable. Now fast-forward ten years. I lost my mother earlier this year. She was my closest companion—and my template. As a result of all that, although I’m still the same person, I’m much more resourceful, secure and grateful. I’ve changed because I know what I know.
Employee Resource Group about two years ago, and I became its first executive sponsor. We conduct monthly meetings, where employees have an opportunity to come together and feel a sense of belonging. Its importance really became evident in one meeting when someone put in the chat, “ I didn’t know we had a Black Vice President at our organization." That comment confirmed that I can help others see themselves at all levels of our organization. I’m able to impact change in a very personal way, which is incorporated into how I operate as an executive. I’ve learned that because I’m comfortable with being honest and vulnerable, I allow others to feel comfortable as well so that they can be seen. SS - Where do you see the future of healthcare in the years to come? LH - I think that there will be a shift in how healthcare is
SS - As the mother of two beautiful daughters, what messages do you hope they are getting from you as a mother?
delivered. Covid-19 helped to bring about tele-healthcare, which was great. There was a level of burn-out experienced by clinical and administrative colleagues that remains
LH - I hope that they know that God is our anchor. And that how you spend your time matters. I got a lot of that from my mother because I observed how she showed up for people, and how she used her voice to help others. I hope they understand that more is “caught” than is “taught.” I pray that as a benefit of being my children, they are catching the fact that their Mommy is serving in the church, and giving and using her talents for the greater good. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 65
impactful to the healthcare system operationally. We are like many other industries: We're being challenged with talent attraction and retention. Inflation, coupled with higher labor expenses, isn’t working. I think that's going to be true at a significant enough scale for these institutions that are core to local economies, let alone actual health. It will take some level of triage and redesign to work through this transformation.
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SS - How has all of that impacted the morale of your employees? LH - That’s also our responsibility as leaders. I tell all employees that they are in the numbers. Whether it’s the patients they see every day or the paycheck they see as a result. I impress upon everyone that the decisions they make every day impact the outcomes. Some of the feedback that I’ve received from my colleagues is that they appreciate the way I communicate—that I speak in plain language. The gift of the healthcare industry is that we employ mission-driven people. Along with that comes its own set of challenges, so our responsibility as leaders is to be honest and transparent about those challenges. My stance is that we are all in this together, so if the hospital has a problem in a certain area, we all have a problem. And that means we need to collaborate and come together to solve it. That in turn allows for the talents of our staff to really shine. SS - So as it relates to talent attraction and retention, how important is the employees' holistic wellbeing?
LH - I think it's very important and necessary. Our organization has recently appointed a Chief Wellness Executive. He has wisely landed on what we can control as an employer. And it comes back to what I mentioned earlier: Do you feel seen? They need to be seen, not only as an employee but as who they are as a person—as a parent, as a single person, and so forth. It's also important to have honest conversations and to understand their aspirations—where they want to take their career. Then we take in those considerations, to allow a path forward to help them along their journey.
SS - We’ve talked about who you are at work. Who are you outside of work? Do you have an alter ego? LH - Ha ha. One of the things that people may not know about me, and seldom get a chance to experience, is that I have a quick and sharp sense of humor. So much so, as I reflect on it, if I were a little younger, I feel as though I could have contributed to Black Twitter, big time! I’m also
SS - To that end, what does sponsorship look like at Northwestern Medicine?
playful and I love to sing. I’m now able to do more singing
LH - When you say sponsorship, the first thing that
SS - Do you think your phoenix has risen? And if so,
comes to my mind is: Are you saying a person’s name in rooms where they are not? Case in point: There’s someone I saw around the hospital often during a
what’s next for Leah? LH - Not even close. But what's next? I would say
time when there was a surge of the omicron variant. This person worked in food and nutrition services. Some days
support. I want to be able to be flexible and responsive for
she would work the cash register, and others I would see her loading the salad bar. One day I said to her, "You do everything."A couple of weeks ago she was pushing a tray of tubes around. I asked her; "What are you doing?" She responded, "Oh, I’m a phlebotomist now! I told her, "I love it." We provide sponsorship through programs like tuition reimbursement, which allows for career growth to happen. We really have to celebrate those who have been able to move through the process and to encourage those who may be thinking about it.
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through my church, and it has been fun!.
nurturing my amazing friendships. We all need care and those who are important in my life. I also will be close in prayer, and open to new things. SS - Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to share some of who you are with the world. I’m honored to have had this chance to speak with you. LH - It has been an honor. Thanks for the opportunity. It's been fun—and a true blessing for me to have had this moment for self-reflection.
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Your image is your brand. It can help you flourish. When we're self-aware, poised, polished, knowledgeable and intentional, we become more confident about who we are, and then we can accomplish our life goals. We acquire that special quality that sets us apart from the average person. This unique quality creates power and credibility, providing us with brilliance, excellence, and style.
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What's Your
HairSay? PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOUR HAIR LIKES BEST. THEN CHOOSE THE RIGHT HAIR STYLIST TO DISCUSS THE RIGHT CUT AND STYLE FOR YOU. WITH A PERSONAL MAINTENANCE PLAN AND A LITTLE TIME, NATURAL BEAUTIFUL HAIR—OR WIGS, WEAVES, OR NO HAIR—CAN BE YOURS, DARLING. MAKE AN AGREEMENT WITH YOUR STYLIST TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. A girl like you can flourish with good self-esteem, an engaging personality, great skin, a gorgeous smile, fabulous shoes, and goals. And also with the very best, most fabulous hairstylist you can find.
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BY CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN
Take responsibility for maintaining your own good hair. Do your part by finding the best stylist for your hair type. Know your hair's personality—what happens to it when it's exposed to humidity, rain, heat, perms, relaxers, color, blow drying, hot irons and styling products. Use the best products for your hair's personality.
Your hair stylist is responsible for the following: Your stylist must understand your "hair say." Most of us have hair stories that we want to share with a new stylist. Your stylist should engage with you about your hair type and texture. Your stylist should talk with you about your lifestyle, fashion personality type and hair goals. Your stylist should be knowledgeable about restoring and/or maintaining healthy hair. Your stylist needs to tell you how to design an in-home maintenance régime that is just right for you. Your stylist should consistently please you by providing wonderful services and a great haircut and style—at every visit. Your stylist ought to inform you of all hair options—including new cutting-edge products, old reliable and proven products, wigs, weaves, and the many types of hair extensions, beauty magazines, hair shows, and anything else that you would be interested in when it comes to hair and beauty. You want a progressive stylist. < "Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself." —Hubert de Givenchy
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THE LADY WHO PAINTS IT PINK
D
onna C. Lawrence is an eighty-year-young woman who has reimagined and recreated her own life.
My conversation with Donna C. Lawrence took place while I was in Mississippi visiting with my eighty-three-year-old aunt, who'd suffered a stroke three months earlier. My husband and I went to take her home—to help her reacclimate to being in her own home again. We were there for a month, and, according to my aunt, "No one will take better care of me than you and Rick." I said, "No, Auntie. That's not true. You're going to fully recover and take care of yourself again." But I couldn't help but notice the contrast between her and Donna—who is eighty years old, thin and energetic, with goals she is excited about. My aunt loved her career as the librarian at Rust College, and only retired just two years ago. Now, she lives a sedentary lifestyle, she's overweight and she says she has no goals. Nevertheless, I must admit, my aunt seemed to get more life-force energy while Rick and I were there. At least for that, I am grateful, and who knows, maybe she will discover a new passion. I met Donna C. Lawrence at the age of seventy-six, when her sister Paige reached out to me on her behalf for some personal excellence and lifestyle coaching. Right away, I liked her—because she loves to laugh. She even enjoys “laughter yoga,” which I knew nothing about until Donna educated me on it. As I was coaching her, I learned so much. The most important takeaway was really a reinforcement of something I already ascribe to: Age ain't nothing but a number!
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"I HAVE LEARNED A LOT, ESPECIALLY HITTING 80, THAT AGE IS DEFINITELY NOTHING BUT A NUMBER." Chloé: Hello there, Donna! What's going on today, and what are you excited about? Donna: I am excited because I am an eighty-year-young woman and I have reimagined and recreated my own life. I love pink. Pink makes me happy. I wear pink
Donna: You know, I was thinking about it, and I know it's been at least a little bit over ten years that I've concentrated on painting things pink. Chloé: Tell our readers how you came up with your whole business model of Painting It
and I paint things pink. And I really, really want to make my
Pink Events?
mark on the world. I want to do something.
Donna: Well, it was during the time when you became my
What came to me yesterday was, I
lifestyle coach and strategist. You asked me what I wanted to do,
think I would like to be a household name. I'm from
and I said I wanted to give something to the world that
Chicago, and most people from Chicago—if you said Silver Cup, they know that name. That was a
would be fun and enjoyable. I took the Personal Excellence Profile assessment, created my
bread company. So, when people hear Painting It Pink Events, I
Personal Power Mantra, and then we came up with the idea of
want them to know it was me—is me. I was surprised and giggled
holding events that I would host where I would offer a beautiful
when I saw a picture on Facebook and a couple of the comments
environment in which to paint things pink .
said, "This is what Donna would like." So in some sense it's already happening. Chloé: I like that, Donna. And I was surprised when you said that you're eighty years young, because I remember when you created your company, Painting It Pink Events. You were seventysix-years-young then. And what's so incredible is that you seem more vibrant now than you were then. Donna: Thank you. Chloé: How long have you been painting?
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Chloé: And that's been a few years ago. What have you learned most about yourself? Donna: I have learned a lot, especially hitting eighty—that age is definitely nothing but a number. And that we can continue to learn. Lately, I have learned a lot of new things. I don't know if I would say I wanted to or didn't want to—but I had to. "Oh," I'd realize, "I learned how to do that. Oh, OK. So, I can do that." I really believe that as long as we have breath to breathe and we can get up every morning, we have something we can share >
"I WAS TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME. BUT THE THING IS, I KEPT TAKING A STEP." Donna, continued: and give, and something we can learn. So I try to be more flexible, more open, so I can learn new things. Then I do my best to apply what I have learned. Chloé: It's very inspiring to me to watch you, to know you, and to see how far you've gone and grown. And the most inspiring thing is that you have an amazing ability to stick with it, Donna. The ability to stick with it is everything. I've been watching you. You were into your business for a year or so, and then the pandemic hit, and so many people had reasons to quit. Many people quit, but you didn't. You shifted. Let's talk about that. Donna: Well, to me, it wasn't easy. You and I spoke during that time, somewhere at the beginning. I didn't want to quit. I don't
Donna: Yes, younger and older! Now, young people really
think I even thought about quitting. I asked,
do that." If you open yourself up to young people, they will teach you, and admire you, and honor you, and help
"How else can I do this?" It's still not at the point where I want it to be. But I know the answer is not to quit—because if you quit, you're done. You've given up. And I don't think we should give up, because if you were given a gift, there's a reason why you have it. And you even made this known to me, Chloé—that it's not just a hobby. It's something you can give back to the world. I was taking it one day at a time. But the thing is, I kept taking a step. It might not have looked like a step to anyone else, but I kept on going. And I would say to your readers, "Keep on going, because it will lead you to wherever it is you're supposed to go." Chloé: Do you feel that you're a special eighty-year-old who's looking forward to and excited about the future? Do you have friends your age—maybe a little bit younger, or a little bit older?
inspire me. I met a young woman and told her my age. She said, "Oh, that's what that age looks like. Okay, I can
you all along the way. Young people inspire me, because they can say a lot of interesting things. So I think, "Oh, if I just ask questions, I'll keep learning." I disagree with the saying that you have to ask the right question. I say you should just keep asking until you find out what it is that you want to find out. Another important thing is that last year especially, I worked on not having negative people around me. I slowly just distanced myself. Because that doesn't help you at all. Chloé: I like what you've said about young people. That is absolutely how I feel as well, being a mature woman. I love working with younger people. Now, what about folks around your age? Do you feel that you are a unique woman—for someone your age? Do you know other women and men who are around your age who are just as excited, bubbly, and energetic about today and the future as you are? >
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"I HAVE TALKED TO PEOPLE MY AGE WHO HAVE FELT OVERWHELMED BY TECHNOLOGY, AND THEY WERE EMBARRASSED, AND SO THEY WOULDN'T ASK FOR HELP." Donna: Oh, I don't want to sound conceited, but I don't know anyone who is my age who is as bubbly as I am. I guess I do feel special, because I
And I think that's what we have to do. Sometimes we can say things first. You don't have to believe it, just do it. So, I believe that we should just do it. If
pursue what it is I'm going after with Painting It Pink Events. I don't know anyone else who's my age who is pursuing anything. Most of the people
you fail, you fail. But who knows how many times Oprah failed? I think Steve Harvey said that you can't even count how many times he failed. Just
that I know who are my age don't seem to be doing anything. I am trying to think how to say it
keep on, because every failure will lead you somewhere. Never give up.
without offending anyone. There's so much good out there. There are so many Chloé: I noticed you wanted to stick with the younger people you're connected with, because you probably don't know a lot of people your age
things to learn, do and acquire. My thoughts about what I want to do—well, it might not happen exactly the way I'm envisioning. But something
who still have goals and dreams—not to mention who are pursuing new dreams goals.
will happen because I have no intentions of giving up. I believe that what I have—and what I share— will help people.
Tell me what you would say if you were on stage right now speaking to 500 women between the ages of 75 and 85.
Chloé: Donna, do you think that your bubbly attitude—your ease of laughter and giggling—has helped you to be who you are and to live your best
Donna: I would tell them that I have seen mature adults have such value, such creativity, and such talent—and for them to not share it with the world is doing themselves and the world an injustice. Because they can do it. It takes work. And believe me, by no means am I there yet— where I want to be. But I think we should keep doing it. Because I go back to the fact that you have a gift for a reason. We all have gifts. And I just believe that we can do it. You can do it!
self?
I have talked to people my age who have been overwhelmed by technology, and they've felt embarrassed, and so they wouldn't ask questions, they wouldn't ask for help. My thought is, "Ask a younger person. You know things that they don't know. And they know things that you don't know." Just ask, and they will help you. I heard this idea in one of my yoga practices. The instructor said, "just get up and go."
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Donna: I know it does, Chloé. You and I have talked about this. I had a loss more than twenty years ago: the loss of my only child. I was down, and didn't know anything about it. I mean, I was in grief, and I didn't know what it was. But when I learned that I could laugh again, that started bringing my energy back. And finally I thought, "Now what do I want to do?" I realized, "There's nothing at all that I can do about the loss that's happened, but what can I do now, and how can I help?" I started hearing a lot of positive things like, "We all have gifts." And I wondered, "What can I do? What do I have?" I know that laughter helps me so much. Laughter clears your mind. And you helped me, Chloé, to really dig deep to see what I could do now, and to see what I have. So, thank you for that. >
"I'M GLAD YOU BROUGHT UP GOD." Chloé: During our coaching sessions, I shared with you what you could do with everything you already have within you—your experience and what you sincerely love. And it's just amazing to me to watch an idea become a real thing, and to see how wonderful it makes you feel. When we feel good, I believe that's God. So, congratulations, on everything, who you're being, and what you're doing and accomplishing. Donna: I'm glad you brought up God. I think we should remember that the gift we have is coming from God. We need to lean on God more, and know that God will be there for us. To me, just that thought alone helps—and inspires us so much. I just believe that if we can laugh at things more in life—especially about ourselves, then that is half the battle—to give us the energy we need to keep going, and to accomplish more—with joy. Just laugh as much as possible. [Donna starts giggling uncontrollably and I join in with her—and it feels wonderful.] Chloé: Your giggles are priceless. I loved coaching you and I especially loved watching your expressions when you learned new things. You would say, "Ahhh" as you realized something new. And you were always very eager for our next session. I knew you would go right out, apply it, and put it into your life— faster, and more efficiently than a person half your age, and even younger. And then you would come back with amazing results and accomplishments. I'm very encouraged by who you are being and becoming, and what you are contributing to yourself, to your community and to the world. <
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Chef Miguel’s Award-Winning Crockpot Chili INGREDIENTS
1 pound ground beef 1 pound ground chuck 2 to 3 beef sausages (chopped) 1 29-oz. can kidney beans 1 medium yellow onion (chopped) 1 medium purple onion (chopped) 2 small cans tomato paste 5 small sweet peppers 7 garlic cloves (minced) 2 Tablespoons cumin 2 Tablespoons paprika 1 Tablespoon kosher salt (to taste) 1 Tablespoon pepper 1 Tablespoon white pepper 2 Tablespoons chili powder 24 oz. beef broth 12 oz. beer (optional) 1 Tablespoon Worcestershire sauce 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper 2 Tablespoons garlic powder 1 Tablespoon onion powder 2 teaspoons brown sugar 3 ancho chiles 3 guajillo chiles
STEPS
In a large pot, brown ground beef, sausage, onion, and garlic. Drain any fat and add to crockpot. Meanwhile, in a medium pan, heat ancho and guajillo chiles till fragrant for about 3 minutes. (Make sure you cut off tips and remove some of the seeds prior to warming.) Remove chiles from pan and let soak in a bowl of hot water for 10 mins. Remove chiles and place in blender with beef stock. Blend together well and pour into crockpot with the meat. Add all remaining ingredients except kidney beans, and cook on low for 4 to 6 hours. Place the kidney beans in the crockpot for 5 to 10 mins at the end to warm thoroughly. Serve! Tips: Top off with green onion, Mexican cheese blend and oyster soup crackers
@DRFLAVOR @HESGOTFLAVOR
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LISA WASHINGTON'S FRENCH TOAST WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE AND STRAWBERRIES CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
Every year my family does brunch since the kids are out of school—one a few days before Thanksgiving and another on Christmas Eve. I love the fact that brunch has become extremely popular in America. It is the thing to do on the weekends. A restaurant’s brunch menu is as creative as pieces of artwork you would find in a museum—from tater-tot waffles with smoked salmon and caviar to Japanese soufflé pancakes. I don’t blame us. I mean, who doesn’t love a good egg benedict topped with Cajun sausage and peppers? That’s more my speed. I guess the pandemic taught us to get more creative with our meals. And brunch is an awesome opportunity to commune with one another. So, let’s get into a few of my favorite brunch recipes.
Filling Ingredients
French Toast Ingredients
8 oz. mascarpone cheese 3 oz. white chocolate 1 tsp. vanilla extract 1 pinch salt
16 slices bread (see notes) 2 cups milk 4 eggs ¼ tsp. cinnamon ¼ tsp. cardamom ¼ tsp. ginger
Instructions In a mixing bowl combine mascarpone and vanilla. Heat the white chocolate in the microwave in 30-second increments, stirring in between, until completely melted. Spread the white chocolate onto a slice of bread and then place the second piece on top of that to make a sandwich. Repeat the process, until you have 8 sandwiches. Make your custard: Whisk together milk, eggs, and all the spices. Heat up the griddle. Next, melt 1 Tbsp. of butter in a non-stick pan. Dip both sides of each sandwich quickly into the custard mixture. Place in the pan and allow to get golden brown on each side, about 3 to 5 minutes total. Add each piece of French toast on a plate and garnish with strawberries, confectioner's sugar and Nutella (if you desire).
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>
LISA WASHINGTON'S BLUEBERRY SCONES WITH ORANGE ZEST ICING Ingredients 2 cups unbleached organic all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting the board
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup organic buttermilk
1 Tablespoon baking powder (use the type without aluminum)
Instructions
6 Tablespoons unsalted butter, very cold 1 cup fresh blueberries + 1/2 cup for garnish 1 Tbsp. orange zest
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Using your fingertips, crumble butter into dry ingredients until mixture looks like crumbs. Add the milk. Add 1 cup of blueberries and orange zest. Stir just until the dough comes together. The dough will be very sticky. Do not overmix. Overworking the dough makes your scones turn out hard. Turn dough onto floured surface, dust top with flour and gently shape into a ball, and mold dough gently. Kneading it into a circle about 4 to 5 times. Do not overwork the dough. Press into a 1-inch thick round. Cut out scones with a 2-inch cutter, being sure to push straight down through the dough. Pull the cutter directly up releasing the scone. Do not turn the biscuit cutter; this also causes the scones to turn out hard. Place scones on baking sheet so that they just touch about 1/2 inch. Reform the remaining dough, gently working it back into a circle, and continue cutting. Bake until scones are light golden brown on top, about 15 to 20 minutes.
by Lisa M. Washington
Allow the scones to cool before adding the icing. Top with the rest of the blueberries. Enjoy!
<
CEO of B'Tyli Wellness and Beauty Co. & Author of Set The Table With Love. @lifewithlisawashington
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SETTHETABLEWITHLOVE.COM
BY CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN
Inner Beauty Being
H
aving worked in the image, beauty and fashion industries for many years of my adult life, I’ve witnessed a lot of vanity—with me right there in the middle. But, what’s important and lasting is Inner Beauty Being; which always begins with you loving, liking and respecting yourself first. The women who practice inner beauty being are IBBers: Their beauty radiates from the inside out. They eat the proper foods; which are fueled by chemical substances called essential nutrients, such as: carbohydrates, fats, proteins, minerals, vitamins and water. These nutrients come from the proper food sources. So, eating right will help you to reproduce, build, and repair body tissue and to regenerate new skin cells. And we definitely love that. >
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W
ater is the most important essential nutrient.
How are you being—on the inside?
It’s an elixir within itself—the fountain of youth. Every cell in your body needs water for optimal health, including your skin cells. You could survive for weeks, perhaps even months, without food but you could only last about eight to ten days without water. Water circulates through your blood transporting oxygen and nutrients to your cells. It helps to maintain the body’s natural balance. It has no caloric value, though, and it is not a source of energy within itself. On the other hand, water promotes good digestion and it helps you to absorb the right nutrients from the foods that you eat. It removes your body’s waste through urine and sweat and it eliminates digestive waste. It’s so good for you! Your body is made up of about ninety-five percent water. So on most days you’ll need to drink at least eight to ten cups of water to replenish what you’ve lost during the day. Water can be replenished also by drinking decaffeinated and non-alcoholic liquids and by eating fresh fruits and vegetables. Getting your fair share of water will cleanse and flush out impurities that clog your pores and diminish your natural beauty. It will help to promote a more supple and youthful complexion. Next time you’re dying of thirst, quench it with water. IBBers believe in herbs and supplements and know that they are essential to their well-being and longevity. They participate in fun, natural and exhilarating activities that encourage them to breathe deeply, giving their body a good cardiovascular workout while rejuvenating their spirit. The breathing that comes from moving your body through fun physical activities is deep, simple, smooth and strong. This type of breathing will help you to feel more youthful and energetic while at the same time help you to relax and focus. It will also build your heart muscle and clear the clutter from your mind and spirit.
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IBBers laugh a lot too—for the fun of it and also for the health benefits derived from a good belly laugh. According to Proverbs 17:22, “A joyful heart is the health of the body.” Take the time to have fun and laugh. It is not a luxury, like so many of us believe, but just what the doctor ordered. If you’re sick, it might make you well. If you’re sad it might make you happy. Go on, girl, try it out loud: Laugh! IBBers also know the intrinsic value of friendships with other IBBers and of living their lives full out—regardless of where they live, how much money they earn, or whether they're married or single. They love being with other people and being alone. And most importantly, IBBers honor the essence of who they are through quiet time, inner reflection and meditation—a sure and proven way to rejuvenate your body, mind and spirit. Daily meditation can help you get rid of toxins and clear the cobwebs that may have entered your essence, trying to block your natural flow. Meditation will encourage you to relax and to release, allowing you to hear the softly whispered words that are just for you. Okay, you now know that the foundation of grooming begins with good skin and a glowing complexion—which is a direct reflection of your inner health and wellbeing. You also know that paying attention to what goes into your mouth and what’s inside your body is key. No amount of topical creams, ointments and serums can be effective when you’re covering up for years of neglect. <
FILM FESTIVAL SHINES LIGHT ON AFRICAN STORIES continued from page 12
Clive Mathibe in conversation with Lala Tuku & Ayanda Sithebe To celebrate Africa Rising International Film Festival's five-year milestone, I went down memory lane to recall the achievements of African filmmakers, celebrating the pioneers who made it possible for Black filmmakers to tell our own stories today—from Black women calling the shots to South African classics.
Lala Tuku
ARIFF takes an intersectional approach to supporting filmmakers, focusing on writing African stories into existence while growing film appreciation in our communities. Millions of people on the African continent still don't have access to the cinema experience, which is unfortunate since we know how life-changing storytelling is. Many filmmakers and content creators do not have access to the essential resources and skills required to thrive in the industry—which is why one of the main pillars of the festival is education, from intellectual property protection to understanding distribution. The festival grants access and knowledge through its legendary talks and screenings. I caught up with the Festival President, Lala Tuku and the festival Director, Ayanda Sithebe ahead of the festival about to take place in the buzzing city of Johannesburg at the end of November to speak with them about the 2022 edition of ARIFF. This is how our conversation went down.
Clive: Let's start out with giving our readers some background on who you two are. So I'll start with you, Lala. Lala: I am a creative practitioner in film and television. I've been in this industry for over three decades, which sounds like a very long time! I've had the opportunity to be in front of the camera, and then I moved to the funding of films. Eventually I had the opportunity to promote local content, both locally and internationally. Thereafter I moved to the actual producing of television content. Now, I'm part of the South African Broadcasting Commission—which, as you know, Clive, is the national broadcaster in South Africa. My position there is Head of Local Content. Clive: And welcome, Ayanda. What makes you tick? Who is Ayanda? And what are you all about? > Ayanda Sithebe FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 82
"We asked ourselves: How do we give space to previously marginalized voices?" Ayanda: I'm a creative, and a storyteller as well. And I'm a casting director, day to day. I've been in the industry now for over fifteen years. I started my journey in the creative industry as an actor. I loved acting. I fell in love with actors and their craft, and that part of storytelling. My love for actors led me to creating a platform focusing on actors. And that's when we founded Actor Spaces, a platform that celebrates actors in South Africa and shines a light on the work they do nationally and abroad. Clive: Before we talk about ARIFF, let’s get into the exciting productions you have worked on as Casting Director nationally and more specifically internationally. Ayanda: Nationally, one of the projects that was very exciting for me, and one that really opened up the industry for me, was a project that Lala was producing—Isono, on BET Africa, which was the first telenovela for BET Africa. But I've also recently casted for uBettina Wethua—a remake of Ugly Betty. I think branching out internationally has been a very exciting journey for me. I'm currently working on Shaka Zulu, as the HOD Casting Director. This is a CBS Showtime production. And for a story like Shaka, I think it was important for that story to have Black representation from a casting director's perspective. So I was excited that I could lend my voice to shaping that story from a casting point of view. Clive: Talking about Blackness and representation—that's kind of what you guys have managed to do with ARIFF. Right? What was the genesis of it? Why was it important for the two of you to come together and create a platform—an umbrella that would showcase and celebrate and put a spotlight on African films and storytelling? Lala: That's an important question. And I think Ayanda started touching on it in terms of what really drives us as individuals. When the notion of a film festival came to the fore, it was around creating an event that would be a precursor to Global Citizen, which was an event a couple of years ago that came to South Africa. When I was brought in, what immediately rang true for me was that there are already a number of film festivals, but what was important was what was the messaging? How would we frame this festival? And firstly, I looked at my experience in the industry. I had been a Black female practitioner and I thought about all the challenges that I was faced with and all the doors that were closed and the many opportunities that were not available to me because of the structure of the film and television industry.
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So it only made sense that we needed to position it on developing the Black voice—on giving space and creating a currency around ourselves. And so you will see our pillars, our five objectives—which are really based on the question we asked ourselves: How do we give space to previously marginalized voices? When we looked at it closely, there was a lot to cover, even beyond being Black and being female. We also understood that young people struggle to get into the industry. We also looked at research, where they had done a skills audit—that Black people only participate in areas in the value chain, such as make-up, catering, and so forth. That really spoke to the disparity. There is a huge gap. We find ourselves, as Black voices, not actually participating in the ownership of the value chain. That's really was at the heart of it. So we saw the work that we needed to do. We asked, How do we create impact? and How can we participate in creating a legacy around that? Clive: I love that. You speak of the five pillars. You were looking at marginalized groups that you wanted to respond to. And I know that one of them is the queer community. Obviously, that resonates with me as a queer man. By the time this is going to be published, we will have been just coming out of South Africa's Pride Month. How has the film festival responded to that particular group of people? We know that violence is pervasive against this particular group across the African continent. (Maybe not as much in South Africa itself, even though we do have a high number of murders that happen to queer people.) How has the film festival responded to the needs of this particular community—through your programming or in how you created your dialogues? >
"'Here we are.' The theme's main objective is not to leave any storyteller behind." Ayanda: I think for us it starts from the team—how we assembled the team. I think presentation starts there, and then whatever decisions we make, they are well informed. So I think that's the foundation for the festival in terms of how we program and put everything together. But also we’re not tone deaf to the need—in terms of really how, as a society, we’re still not showing enough content that resonates with the queer community. Not most of the time, even when we have projects. I think we've seen a lot of stories just about “the coming out.” And we as a film festival decided to say that there’s more. It's people. It's not just that one part of it. So in terms of curating dialogues, we’re speaking on that issue. We want to make sure that our dialogues touch every part of storytelling. Are our societies really represented? I think last year we closed with a film that was banned in Kenya, just because it told a story about two men who are in love. So the curation is always asking, How do we educate people? How do we create awareness? Without really tapping into even the violence side of it. Clive: Without stereotypes? Ayanda: That's right. Without stereotypes. Because I'm searching for authenticity, so that our communities are represented for what they are. And I think the big one is that love is a big part of the festival. So if love comes through— through our communication, through our films, through our dialogues—then we feel like we're winning in terms of really talking to important topics. Clive: Tell me about this year’s theme. How did you come to that particular theme? It's a very bold one. Tell me what it means. It's your fifth year, so that's quite a milestone. What informed the theme? Ayanda: I think you've said it, we've reached a significant milestone. Many times, we've watched the festival starting and then almost collapsing. It's not easy to run a film festival. So for us to reach our five-year milestone is a very big one for us. Even with covid-19 happening, we've still been able to soldier through. So, the theme “Here we are” really spoke to us—as storytellers really arriving and really speaking on the legacy of ARIFF, the legacy that we want to leave and the future of ARIFF. So it's really about the footprint we want to leave. So that influenced the film curation side of things. We decided to pause and reflect—to really look at where African cinema comes from.
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We want to allow people to reflect upon that journey, because we believe we've created iconic films that have not really had much exposure. We are shining a light over them, so we can really celebrate those legends—creating those films that say, "We see you." So it's a theme that's really packed with all these elements. We want the old, and the right now, and we also want the young and the future generation of storytellers. Basically, the theme's main objective is not to leave any storyteller behind. To take every storyteller along with us. Clive: I love that. What informed the curation of the actual films? There are the films that come from way back when, from yesteryear—the ones that may not have had the spotlight on them that they've deserved. How did you choose which films to include? What was the thinking behind it? How did those films that we're going to be experiencing during the festival make the cut, so to speak?
Ayanda: Within our pillars, one of the big ones is how do we celebrate African storytellers and affirm that currency? So quality is a big one for us when we look at films. And then our overarching theme as a festival is film for change. So the main question we ask are: Does this film speak to social ills within our community? Does this film educate? Does this film touch on the objectives? Our curation is guided by that. And of course entertainment is still a big part of it. But it has to touch certain objectives first. It's film for change—films that are meant to really move the community, touch the community, educate, and so forth. Clive: Do you want to add anything to that, Lala? Lala: I think Ayanda has summed it up nicely. It's really about building that African voice. It goes to giving them the spotlight on film for change. We really want it to be a festival that is a doing festival. So that years down the line, we can say that we had an impact, in changing the way we told stories. Film schools currently still mostly use European references. So, who are we referencing? You cannot be what you cannot see. What do we see on our screens on television? The stories we tell will perpetuate more of the same. So we have to decide what it is we want to create in order to inform and mold society's perceptions. We know that film, like any other art form, has such a huge ability to change perceptions. Therefore, we want to use films that can talk to how we do life—as Africans. >
"WE ARE VALID, WE ARE ENOUGH, AND OUR STORIES HOLD TRUE TO US."
Lala, continued: That's quite important to us. All the films have one particular thing that stands out. For instance, that was the first film directed by a female. Or it was the first film that got globally recognized. There's always something that we would latch onto for each particular film we choose. Clive: Talking about global recognition of our films and our work as filmmakers and storytellers—in South Africa and in all of Africa—I think right now we are moving into a space where the world is looking to us for story. People are looking to us for talent, looking to us for inspiration—creative inspiration. What do you think Africa needs the most? We need to be able to take our creativity—not just our creativity, but our ability to create— to the next level. What is it that we need the most to take us there in order to be as competitive as the rest of the global filmmaking and storytelling market?
Lala: That's quite an important question. And I think it's probably based on three things, in my mind. I think the first thing is going to be confidence. We have been programmed to think we're less than. It's part of our society. Because of our history with apartheid, the regime told us we are not enough, and we are not allowed—which means we're really still suffering from wanting to prove ourselves. So I think it's about confidence—in knowing that we are valid, and that we are enough and our stories hold true to us. And all we need to do is represent that. That's number one. And then, number two, because of historical imbalances, we've never been given an opportunity to fine-tune our skills. So a lot of people are not specialists in their area. We are not educated. And we know that education is really a powerful tool. And when I say we're not educated, it means that for a lot of us as Africans—we cannot even afford to go to a film school and to polish that skill and that talent. So there's a lot of raw talent that sits there, which hasn't been harnessed, and hasn't been molded. And that’s where, again, you can’t see the representation coming through. You've got a lot of stories. But for example, even if it's Black young stories, representing the youth, it's not the youth that are producing it. So there's that imbalance of the technical. So for me, I believe that we really still require the technical sharpening of our skills. That's the second one. And thirdly, there is a huge funding gap in terms of the kind of stories we can tell. There's a lot we can’t afford. And so then we remain behind in the world. So internationally and globally, when Africans have the confidence, and the skill, and the funds—then we can tell our story. Those three things for me have always been at the center and at the heart of why we can't do a lot of things we can't do. Because it remains that, at the core of it, is someone who's bold enough, someone who will tell their story. Their unique story about anything—even the stories you think you already know. The one with the money is the one with the power, even if it's in a relationship of any sort. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 85
Lala, continued: And so we are in a relationship with the international market. And their power is substantial, and their tribute too is that they've got the capacity. They've got the knowhow, they've got the skill, and they've got the money. And therefore they can do it. So we really need to fast-track those three things. One, confidence, comes from within us. We just need to built in the confidence. I think a lot of what's holding us back comes from the lack of confidence. We've been bashed down so long. It's like two children playing on a jungle gym, and one is a boy and one is a girl. The girl is going to be told to be careful not to go higher up, and to mind her dress that's going up, and all sorts of things like that—while the boy is encouraged to be the risk-taker, to go up higher. Similarly, Africa still represents the girl who is still being held back. The long prevailing limiting beliefs have affected how she sees herself. Clive: I love the points that you brought up, Lala, and I think already, by doing a film festival like this, you're responding to those three things. How do you measure your success as a festival? I would like to believe that you started a platform like this to respond to some of the things that you've mentioned—most notably to give confidence to young filmmakers. And certainly to encourage funders to go deeper into their pockets, and say to funders, "Hey, there’s this industry, there’s this skill, this exceptional talent that needs your backing." And to also encourage people to go and get educated, so that they can get technically strong and competitive in the global market. How do you measure whether you have achieved the goals that you've set out? Ayanda: That's a tough question. But I think for us, we always say simply that we are doing the festival. Just in the doing, we are deliberate about the results that we want out of it. And I think the big thing as well, is focusing on who we are bringing to partake in the festival. We want to be the influence—to really change the people around us, especially the young people that we attract to the festival. So whether it's the speakers we invite, or the filmmakers themselves—people who are either presenting at the festival or attending it—we are trying to bridge that gap and create new connections. It is something we're very deliberate about. And we've seen that happen. We've got young filmmakers who are at the festival, calling us and saying, "Hey, I'm now working with this director, I met him at the festival." So we've got a whole collection of those kinds of testimonies from young filmmakers. One of our flagship projects is the film for change, where we are financing funds to give to young people to make their own films— most of them are their first films, when they have graduated, and so forth. Those are tangible things that the festival really holds to. Then there are the filmmakers who are showcased. They are highlighted so that their work is seen by all the people— stakeholders who come and partake within the whole festival. Our opening short film last year, We Are Dying Here, was from a woman producer never before screened at any film festival. >
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So at ARIFF it was her first film, and now she's gone on to win a SAFTA [South African Film and Television Award]. We knew that this film was great. And we motivated support for the film, and then she won a SAFTA. And through that, she met a filmmaker at the opening who opened the way for her to have a film on Showmax. So like I said, we've got a library of these testimonials, which shows what we are accomplishing through the festival. Clive: As we come to a close, what are some of the highlights of this year’s festival? For those of us who love stories, what can we look forward to? We love to engage with other artists and practitioners and storytellers. What are some beautiful nuggets that we can look forward to for this year? Ayanda: I'm excited about a number of things. First, the films. As Lala said, most of these films have got a history. We’ve got a film called Deadly for Self, which is the first film created by a woman of color in South Africa. So we've got all these gems. I was first very excited about the films. And then I looked at the dialogues we're doing as well—which is a fusion of the past and the future. I'm so excited for the close conversations that come from the dialogues. And the master classes complement that. This year, we went very differently, where one of the master classes is looking at a multi-disciplinary approach within the film industry. So there are all these exciting elements that we have. I'm also really excited that we're taking young kids from disadvantaged communities to watch films for the first time. So there's a lot there for us to be excited about. Lala: You should come to the Africa Rising International Film Festival, definitely, if you believe that Africa is the future. And if you want to be part of history in the making, you should definitely be a part of everything that happens at the ARIFF. We are at the center of driving change—to be a motivating anchor that unearths African stories. Earlier, Clive, you were asking how we measure this thing. I really believe there's an agility to it—that it changes perceptions. Once you engage with ARIFF, you don't come out the same person. It leaves you wanting to participate more, whether it’s in your country or the diaspora. I am always very intrigued by the audiences—every time they walk out of an experience. I call film an experience because it changes your thinking—it changes your mind. And so for me, the most important thing is always the audiences. Because life will never be the same. There are just not enough platforms where we can engage on that level. ARIFF will give you an extraordinary three-day immersion in the Africa of the future. <
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y t i c i t n Authe Stardust, Life-Force Particles & You!
I was thinking about the idea that as human beings we are made of amazing remnants of stardust and extraordinary fragments of life-force particles that originated in cosmic explosions billions of years ago from stars. Imagine this ubiquitous, pulsating energy continually floating around us today and flowing through each of us— connecting us to each other, and guiding us back to the ultimate universal creative power. Many refer to this energetic force as God, The Universe, Source or Spirit.
How we feel is what we're praying, and prayers are answered. According to Scripture we are all made from millions of tiny particles of mystical dust or dirt (Adam, the first man and descendants), and formed by God Himself, in His own image and likeness—animated into physical life by God's own breath. Can you envision that? If there is any truth to this then don't we as human beings have some God-like powers as well? We have been given the ability to create and design our own lives and impact the world positively.
If we do have special spiritual powers then we’ve probably been called and commissioned by God to use this goodness and excellence to be authentic, to discover our highest truth, to strive to do better and to do our share in contributing to the betterment of the world. With awareness of who we are and our spiritual powers— and with concentration directed toward our objectives and goals with conscious intent—we should be able to bring deeper meaning to our everyday existence. For these reasons the potential to change our self and our own life lies completely within us—because God has given us this power since the beginning of creation. So many of us work meaningless jobs today. (It's a good thing that since the pandemic, more people seem to be questioning meaningless gigs and jobs.) We stress to pay the bills and barely get by. We rely on alcohol and drugs—both prescription and recreational—to run away from the dull routine of our lives. As our stardust and life force start to fade we feel lethargic, confused, depressed, overly sensitive, and even dispassionate about our very existence. I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to lose your energy, power and excellence. But I also know what it takes to readjust, realign, reinvent and refocus to start walking the path of enlightenment again. And I know how to help others do the same.
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We start by being present—by being right here in the moment and slowly letting go of what we cannot control, and letting go of what is not in alignment with who we’re called to be. We go within to hear, to know, and to choose what we authentically need, want, and desire now, based on who God has called and commissioned us to be, to do and to contribute. The next step is to sincerely and passionately concentrate on what we’ve chosen, and to feel good about our choices. Consider: How we feel is what we're praying. Concentration is the action of harnessing and bringing together positive life-force particles and intentionally directing them toward your vision and your goals of what you want to achieve, with a plan of how you’re going to achieve it. This type of concentration is extremely powerful. It helps us to focus at the highest creative and spiritual levels. Creative visualization and intentional focus is where our visual images are clearly formed, where they become animated; it sets in motion what has been imagined to manifest in the physical universe. In other words, if we’re made of this mystical stardust, animated by God’s breath of life and with magical life-force particles flowing and floating all around us, then when we combine a specific vision, dream or goal—with clear, intentional focused attention—then we can accomplish anything. < ,
—Chloé Taylor Brown Publisher
YOU DON'T NEEED MORE MONEY OR MORE TIME TO FEEL & LOOK CONSISTENTLY GREAT—YOU NEED GOALS, A GOOD ATTITUDE, & STYLE! Consider booking an image, fashion, style, & goal-setting consultation appointment today. CLIENTS HAVE INCLUDED:
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Signature Style
Typically, when we refer to a woman’s appearance, we naturally think of the way she looks, or the clothes she may be wearing. But there is more to it than that. Because fashion, body image, and self-esteem are so interconnected, it is essential that you understand that clothing and fashion are often thought of as an extension of who you are as a woman. I know that sounds silly, but it’s true. Many people, especially today, look at the clothes and the fashions that you wear as though it’s you. With self-awareness, you can have the upper hand. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 90
yourFashion Personality What you can do
Type
Know your clothing and fashion personality type. It can solve many fashion dilemmas and keep you from ending up on the worst-dressed list. Also, it will help you to save precious time and energy by keeping you out of stores that are incongruent with your authentic image. Knowing your fashion personality type increases your self-assurance about the clothes you buy, and gives you the confidence you need to hold your position for any occasion.
Choose your top three: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.
Casual Sporty Conservative Business Casual Bohemian Mod Urban Chic Sophisticated Glamorous Trendy High Fashion Other, or you just don't know
Figuring out your fashion personality type can be challenging and fun at the same time. Start with your body type, body shape, and proportions, and combine this with your career, age, and goals—and the lifestyle you enjoy or want to live. If you need more information, read my first book, Getting Ready Chloé-Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image, available everywhere books are sold. My top three Fashion Personality Types are casual, chic, and sophisticated, always in a simplistic and elegant manner, as shown in this editorial lifestyle spread (p. 90–94). >
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Where To Shop
From casual to business casual, chic to glamorous, learn to create your signature style. When you've chosen your top three clothing and fashion styles that you believe will support you and your vision, you'll be ready to shop! Now, more than ever before, we have many options in finding our signature fashion and style basics. Let's explore.
Boutiques
When you find a little shop that caters to your fashion personality type you’d better be careful. It can be intoxicating, and even addictive. The most fabulous and amazing are calling themselves lifestyle boutiques. Your favorite little shops will have that "it" piece for you almost every time you stop by. The most personal boutiques buy particular items from show rooms with you in mind, inform you of sales, and, if you’re a favorite, they’ll even send loads of amazing pieces and outfits to your home for fittings—unless, of course, you’re the type who enjoys being seen at the coolest fashion spots in town. In most cases the merchandise at boutiques is not one-of-akind. However, they are unique and quite special.
Catalogs
Catalogs don't come in the mail as much anymore, but some of your favorite department stores—like Neiman Marcus, specialty stores, and boutiques still have catalogs. I’ll be the first to admit it: I love flipping through the slick pages. They can be enticing. Today, catalog shoppers are savvy shoppers— finding stylish, unique pieces to add to their signature style and wardrobe.
Consignment Shops
A wonderful way to look fabulous all the time without breaking your bank account is shopping consignment and resale stores. Like any store or boutique, you’ll want to know which shops suit your taste and fashion personality type. The best consignment shops provide personal service that you’ll love. By getting on the mailing list and getting to know the sales staff, you’ll be one of the first to hear about promotions and sales. Otherwise, you’ll need to stop in often to find the best merchandise. Try everything on and look in different sizes. Some items have been altered and you probably won’t be able to return them. Don’t forget to look for accessories while you’re there. You’ll pay a fraction of the original price for the same quality and style. >
Fashion is a versatile yet complex language. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 92
Options & Choices Custom Designers
Some of the most exciting fashion experiences I’ve had involved having clothes designed and fitted especially for my body. As a model in Milan, one of my favorite designers to work for was Gianfranco Ferré. The fittings were as exciting as the Prêt-àPorter show itself. The experience of having two to five outfits designed and fitted with my body in mind was extraordinary, especially when Signor Ferré would ask, “Chloé, what do you think? How do you feel in the outfit?” Custom designs can be for any fashion personality type, allowing you to have input as to how you want your wardrobe or special outfits to look, flow and feel. It can be pricy but is absolutely based on your fashion personality type, your body type, shape and lifestyle. I recommend the experience for everyone—at least once.
Department Stores
Everything from cosmetics to dishwashers has been purchased at department stores. If you’re the type who loves one-stop shopping, if you know what you want and have no need to spend a lot of time browsing, then department store shopping may suit you well. To make it count, though, it’s a good idea to know the department store’s audience before heading out to one. You’ll want to make sure it suits your taste and budget. Sears and J.C. Penney, for instance, cater to a particular audience. Bloomingdale’s, Nordstrom, Macy’s, Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman cater to another specific audience, and they can be referred to as specialty stores. They don’t offer appliances and other homewares but they do offer special services such as trunk shows, personal appearances from designers, quaint cafes, entertainment, and salespeople who will go out of their way for you, and even personal shoppers.
Vintage Stores
If you’re a trendsetter who loves one-of-a-kind pieces from another era, and you hate the thought of showing up looking predictable—or, even worse, being dressed like someone else— then you might like vintage shopping. Real vintage can come from designers’ high-fashion collections, women’s custom designs, good-quality brand names and good-quality no names. The thread that runs through all vintage is high quality and desirability. >
Getting ready starts long before you step into your closet to get dressed for an occasion. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 93
Outlet Shopping
If you want substantial savings, good-quality merchandise and an extensive selection, then outlet shopping might be your thing—if you don’t mind last season’s merchandise and you’re not looking to be voted the trendiest person in town. These savings can be passed on to us for several reasons. First, there are outlet-only lines that are slightly different from regular store lines—maybe it's a lesser-quality fabric, or lower-quality buttons are used. Secondly, there is no middleman involved. Outlet merchandise is shipped right from the factories to the outlets so some of the merchandise might be slightly flawed. For these reasons you can save thirty to fifty percent on fabulous fashions. Like the malls, outlet shopping can be an event in and of itself, especially when you factor in the drive it usually takes to get there.
Discount Stores
Who doesn’t love a good deal, especially when it comes to fashion? Today, more of us are looking for offers we can’t refuse, and discounters from Target, T.J. Maxx,, Nordstrom Rack, and Saks OFF 5th, to name a few, are all competing to satisfy our desires. If you have the time it takes to browse, along with a good eye, you can unearth wonderful designer deals at discount stores. But, plan to visit often and make friends with one of the salespersons to get the inside scoop on new shipments.
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Online Shopping
Today, because of the internet there are endless sky malls— virtual shopping spaces where you have the option to browse hundreds of stores and view thousands of products, right from the privacy of your own home or office, or from wherever you can take a laptop or handheld device. Literally, a world of options awaits you with a click of your mouse. If you’re the type who gets a certain high from seeing a package arrive at your front door, then this type of shopping can feed into your addiction, so be careful. On the other hand, if you’re the type who has very little time for shopping, then this new way of shopping can work beautifully with your lifestyle. Also, I’ve seen virtual shopping work well for clients who may have a few body image issues and want to try clothes on at home. I learned from my son as well; he seems to be able to find anything that he wants to buy from eBay and Eastbay, and usually for a fraction of the cost. Anything can be found and purchased through web shopping, from food to furniture and everything in between.
Malls
Today’s malls are sophisticated gathering spaces filled with friends hooking up for coffee at Starbucks, and families shopping, eating and taking in a movie or two. Professional divas can have their spa and salon needs taken care of in the morning, conduct a power lunch meeting at the new “in” restaurant at noon, and then head over to the Armani boutique to pick up a new suit that has been altered to fit her body. Like your favorite department store, your favorite mall will depend upon where you live and your lifestyle, as well as your fashion personality type and budget. With everything under one roof, going to the mall can be a bona fide social happening. I love watching the people. Expect to pay more. <
Wardrobe-Building Shopping Tips Know what to do before your next shopping spree. Think of your overall direction and fashion personality type. Stick to your budget. Stick to your plan and only buy what’s on your list. Wear comfortable, but stylish clothes that are easy to take off and put on. Don’t wait until the last minute to shop for what you really need. Don’t be misled by a sale—unless, of course, it has exactly what’s on your list. Look for quality over quantity. Try everything on and look in a full-length threeway mirror. Test for comfort and functionality by sitting and bending. Ask yourself: Can the garment breathe? Can I exhale in this? Determine whether the garment or outfit needs alterations. Make friends with special salespersons at your favorite stores and ask them to contact you when items you would like go on sale or when the store has new arrivals. Ask if you can return items. Skip the trip. Order online. Keep what you love and return the rest. Ask yourself: Does this look absolutely fabulous on me? And finally, does it fit into your plan of how you’d like others to perceive you based on your goals? < FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 95
CONFIDENCE, GOALS & FAITH With clear intentions I've been able to take a good honest look at myself, and at what I want to accomplish; and then I determine what I need to learn, and how I need to be, act, and show up in a way that aligns with who I am authentically. This guides me and my actions, almost unconsciously.
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SUCCESS: SO, DO SOMETHING, WILL YOU?
Before you can create anything worthwhile in your life, it must be created and finished in your mind first—that is, in your imagination. Determine your vision for your life and start acting on it now—right now— by creating and constructing your own holographic vision and vision board. Throughout this incredible process of creating and living your successes, I want you to keep in mind that everything starts and ends in your imagination—in the mind—that's your mind, Darling! That’s right. True success of any kind starts in your mind—with an intention. Therefore, success is creative and not competitive. There is no competition between you and others. No two people on Earth will have the exact same vision, because we are all individual authentic beings. Consider: The steps you take should be measurable and effective enough to get you to your goal. Follow each step to the next, and keep planning, preparing and carrying out your Steps to Success. The Big Picture: Write in detail your heart’s desire for what you want to achieve. See it in living color. This will become your holographic vision that will get you excited about what you are working toward, and give you the necessary energy to achieve your dream. A holographic vision is a written document that evokes great feelings of excitement when you read about who you are, who you are becoming, and what you are accomplishing and contributing. Take some time to write your holographic vision in the present tense, as though it is already real. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | NOV/DEC 2022 | 97
Your heart desires, Darling, and your soul knows your potential and wants to secure something truly wonderful for you in 2023. Align. Know. Believe.
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