Flourish Digital Magazine: Winter 2022 - New Year, New Mind, New Everything. by Flourish Digital Magazine

WINTER 2022

ISSUE 1 VOLUME 3

Mitigating Risk At Work and At Home

Constructing Landmarks Building Up People

KIM SCOULLER

LAWAY BANKS I've Always Been

"That Girl"!

TUNE IN TO YOUR HAPPY VIBES AND

Flourish!

EYETOPIASPA.COM

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 3

CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN Happy New Year! Can you believe it's January 2022 already? January for many is a time of newness, to reflect on things that were and on others that might have been—to put those things in perspective with fresh lenses—to reset or to set aside. We start out optimistically making New Year’s resolutions, creating stunning vision boards, setting new goals, and making decisions about what we want. Right? Indeed we do. So please, let's not forget about our purpose. In other words, let's be purposeful in connecting our New Year's resolutions and new goals to small daily tasks that will add to our bigger goal(s) and purpose—to start accomplishing more of our heart's desires this year. I believe we're ready.

Also, let's remind ourselves that change, transformation, and accomplishment all require putting what we know to work, and learning something new. And with repetitive practice, we can own it. Remember, the most important thing is to believe that we can accomplish our goals—and to feel excited and wonderful in our gut and in our spirit about realizing them. Get sexy with it. Be appreciative, curious, forgiving, glad, grateful, humble, loving, compassionate, and stylish. Let's become very familiar with these character traits, and from there, this magnificence will unleash itself, and spill over and out to others as well. Imagine that. Can you see it? Can you feel it? When we complete what we start with passion, purpose, and the curiosity of a child, we will experience a fun, meaningful, and flourishing year ahead.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 4

Editor's Note LET'S NOT

FORGET

ABOUT OUR

PASSIONS &

PURPOSE.

Chloé Taylor Brown Editor-in-Chief chloe@flourishdigitalmagazine.com @flourishdigitalmagazine @chloetaylorbrown @chloetaylorbrown

THE BEST

TIME

FOR

New Beginnings IS

NOW!

@flourishdigitalmagazine @sadiyah_adams

OUTSIDE THE LINES Laurie M. Renfro

GET YOUR GROOVE Back!

DOING NEW THINGS

DANNY SIMMONS: INTERTWINED

Khomotṧo Mashalane

Janis Hunt Johnson

Acclaimed Neo-African Abstract Expressionist Artist

THE MANIFEST: living your dreams Paula G. Voice

HEY, MAMAS! | NEW YEAR, NEW YOU Elena Taylor-Bagger

shelly nicole ANDREWS, developing strategies & managing brands a Chloé Taylor Brown interview

OUT WITH OLD, IN WITH THE NEW

Better Food for a Better Life—with Bridget New

DAVID MOODY

He Constructs Landmarks & Builds Up People Melinda Colton, The Younique Foundation

SHE SPOKE it, AND IT WAS! | TIFFANY elle BURGESS a Paula G. Voice interview

BROWN SKIN | SHOULD WE BE ANTI-AGING?

Lady Patterson, LE

Winter Grooming: Lips & Hands

TIMELESS BEAUTY: the power of gratitude

Chloé Taylor Brown

Carol (The Lady) Causieestko

IMAGE POWER: THE CLOSET AUDIT Chloé Taylor Brown

BLACK FOOD Bryant Terry

MEETING THE SUN HALFWAY

CHLOE'S MANTRA creation WORKBOOK

A MEMOIR: I CAN LAUGH AGAIN

Seane Shaw

Chloé Taylor Brown

LAWAY BANKS: she's always "that girl"! a conversation with Chloé Taylor Brown

LET'S TALK ABOUT MONEY

JOANNE WEST

Kim Scouller

Mitigating Risk at Work & at Home a Chloé Taylor Brown interview

BOSS GIRL: A MOTHER–DAUGHTER CONVERSation Xara Kemp and Stan Kemp

Black Food is a beautiful, rich, and groundbreaking book exploring Black foodways within America and around the world, curated by food activist and author of Vegetable Kingdom, Bryant Terry.

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SHELLY NICOLE ANDREWS Flourishing With

The ILL Group & Collective Gallery DEVELOPING STRATEGIES, MANAGING BRANDS, AND CREATING EXPERIENCE WITH ILLIMITABLE POSSIBILITIES a Chloé Taylor Brown interview FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 10

I ended up meeting this cool guy named Phil The God. After graduating from Hampton University in Virginia, Shelly Nicole Andrews purposefully made her way back to Atlanta, her home town, to blaze her own path on the front - and backend of Atlanta's red-hot entertainment industry. Initially, she says, she worked a corporate job, even though she has always been into the world of entertainment. Shelly went to Grady High School in Atlanta and was part of its Broadcast Journalism program. Shelly: At Grady, I was the producer of a sports show called Game Time where we shared feedback on all the extracurricular activities with different segments. I've always been into production. I always loved Oprah, Barbara Walters, and Monica Kaufman, and I wanted to be a news anchor. I've always taken on very interactive internship opportunities. So really, I've always followed this path. When I came back to Atlanta from Hampton University, I had two friends who are now in a group called EarthGang. They began to really pursue their rap career, and I kept in touch. I also knew a designer named Chily-O, a mover and shaker who I wanted to get my rapper friend into some of his mercy. So, I sat with him, and ended up really pushing their music, getting people to listen to them, making people listen to them. And then from there everything kind of just took its own little ride, as the Universe works. Chloé: How were you being such an influencer, just coming back from college? Shelly: Well, I was talking to anyone who would listen. If I was sitting down with friends I would say, "Hey, my friends just dropped their album. Let's play it." Or I'd say, "My friends have a concert, so let's go to the concert," or really just any room that I was getting into, I would think of something—call, and be like, "Hey, you need to connect with this person." I think I was blessed to be around a lot of creatives when I was coming up. Chloé: You had a lot of connections, and courage. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 11

Shelly: Yes, but just friends, though. Not celebrities. We were just people—friends who were enjoying our passions. Like, "Oh, you have a camera. OK, cool. I want to do a TV show." Things like that, and we would go for it. I did have a corporate job for a minute right after college, but I didn't have a true journey or a true plan of what I wanted to do. I just knew, I like doing things, I like helping people. I like getting dolled up sometimes, I like telling people what to do, those kinds of things. Then I had a big situation. The guy I was dating during that time passed away. I felt lost because I had envisioned my future life around him and hadn't thought of anything more than making a family with him. I really had not tapped into some of the things that I would have wanted to do and I was kind of confused. Then one day I was sitting still and said, "Well, I'm God's Favorite HomeGirl." It's trademarked. So, I stuck with that. I kept saying, "I'm God's favorite homegirl. God is going to see me through this tragedy. I'm going to pick myself up." But what can I do? Because I had just graduated from college and had a $40,000 degree. I was doing something like telemarketing, and it wasn't working. That’s when I decided to start my own show. I always wanted my own TV show, and during that time, I was making good money for a start-up, and said, "I'll just fund it." And the Universe just came through for me. I ended up meeting this cool guy named Phil The God at one of Earth Gang's studio sessions. Phil The God was sitting on the couch, and I just opened my notebook and said, "This is what I want to do." I told him who I was going to host as my first guest and all about all these other people I was going to have as my guests. He said, "I shoot videos. I'll shoot this for you." And so, I'm like, "OK, perfect." And from there, I made my budget, I used my skills from my college degree and from what I learned at Grady High School. From there I pulled in all my friends who I believed in, who I thought >

Urban Culture & Business Opportunities Shelly, continued: were great people. They worked with me based on the relationships we had built over the years because they trusted me. The talk show was called The ILL Table. Chloé: Are you saying that you got enough knowledge, information, and the ability to apply what you know from high school—more than what you got in college—to be able to come back and put your show together? Shelly: I would say, yes, because I was in charge of the program at Grady High School. I was the producer. I told people about their deadlines, checking in, looking at segments, and letting them know, "This is not so good, or not so great, but this is good," and making sure people were shooting properly, so it gave me a lot of experience that I didn't get when I was at Hampton University. Chloé: Did you have an instructor who was advising you of what to do and looking over your work in high school?

Shelly Nicole Founder + CEO, The ILL Group 518.596.0063

High school was definitely a pivotal point for me. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 12

Shelly: Yes. And I always had him on set with me for my shows. His name is TX Roberts. So, when I started my show, Mr. Roberts came to help me, six years after high school. I called him up and I was like, "I know what I'm doing. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing, but just in case, please come on set with me." And he did come on set with me to make sure that I was good. So yes, I feel like high school was definitely a pivotal point for me. I know a lot of people go through a lot in college and gain a lot in college. I feel like high school is where I made a lot of these relationships, a lot of people that I know, I know from high school. I still talk to them. These are people who resonate with me from when we were in high school. And I think people get excited when I tell them that I went to Hampton University as well, and I'm proud of that. There is a certain feeling growing up in Atlanta. I did a lot of networking in my hometown, with my high school, in my neighborhood in Southwest >

I pull a lot from my girlfriends and my peers.

Working With Limit

Shelly, continued: Atlanta, catching community vibes, basketball games—you know, just staying connected with my people. And there's a certain kind of feeling or a certain type of love that you feel from Atlanta, and how you grew up during a particular time, which still resonates with you. Chloé: Who are your role models? Shelly: My mom is an amazing role model to me. She always goes after what she wants. She worked for the FBI for many years, then decided she wanted to be a teacher and became one. My grandma was like, "What are you doing? You have such a good government job. What are you doing?" But mom did it. Recently she decided she wanted to be in the medical field, so now she’s working in the medical field doing medical coding and working from home. She lives her best life. She has always been super supportive, and she says, "If your passion changes, feel free to go with that." She's a role model of mine, for sure. Mrs. Outlaw, a friend's mother, has always been the most super-positive person I've ever met. A glass-halffull kind of lady. And just seeing and being around elite Black ladies has always been something I've been intrigued by. And now, I pull a lot from my girlfriends and my peers who I work with, and some of my closest friends— Adia, Kirsten, Crystal, all these amazing people I work with—we are the movers, shakers, and hustlers, and we understand that "No" is not really an answer, and so we're always finding a way. So, it's been really cool to also be inspired by myself and become my own role model as well. Chloé: I love how you tap into your own excellence, your own power. Let's fast forward and talk about FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 13

We just wrapped some stuff with Halle Berry and Netflix, and we have a cool Nike campaign coming out with Megan Thee Stallion. Chloé, continued: the company you started, The ILL Group. Shelly: The ILL Group stems from The Illimitable Table, my original TV talk show, which I produced and hosted a few years back. I always knew I’d want my company to have the same name. The word illimitable means "incapable of being limited or boundless." It seemed to be a tongue twister for some, so a friend suggested I shorten it to ILL. The rest is history. I always knew that this show that I created, The ILL Table, was going to evolve into being The ILL Group—and people resonate with The ILL Group. My talk show got me out there. I got to connect with really dope people who are doing what I figured they would be doing and establishing their careers. The ILL Group is about execution and excellence. We do impactful experiences for people and focused brand management, where I manage a select group of professionals. I've also worked in the music industry as a personal assistant as well as in artist development. It's been great to take those skills and use them in a different industry. Chloé: Are you also in the music business right now? Shelly: I work with Collective Gallery, which is a photography label, and we shoot artists. So there is a spectrum of that, but I'm not as involved as I was before.

Stand on your word. Mean what you say, say what you mean. Don't be afraid to change your mind. Right now, where I work at Collective Gallery, it is so fun. It’s the best I've felt at work. I love my team. I love my boss. I love what I do.

Chloé: Tell me about where you work. Shelly: The name is Collective Gallery headed by Cam Kirk, who's a dope photographer with an amazing photography studio in Atlanta. He's the CEO and an artist signed to the label. We have six more artists. It's a record label–style company for photographers—the first of its kind —in a partnership with Atlantic Records. I work in Strategy and Operations, and I am also a Project Manager. We're always working with different artists. We're figuring out productions now, and I've been excited to get this production hand going, to work with some really dope artists. We just wrapped some stuff with Halle Berry and Netflix, and we have a cool Nike campaign coming out with Megan Thee Stallion. What we're doing is the first of its kind. We run like a record label, but it's photography. So, we're handling big budgets for our clients. We also have the agency side, where people will reach out to us to put together photo shoots. It's the most creative job. It’s super amazing.

Chloé: You know, every artist, talent, or creative needs a bad cop, right? What are two or three things that you would like to share with Millennial women?

Everyone here is under 35. So, it's super cool that we are this small start-up—all Black, all young. We're figuring it out, and we're making cool things happen, and really helping push the culture. It's my dream job. I'm being honest and not just saying that. It's been really cool to know that the decisions I made in my life and the things I stood on and worked toward— especially being a woman in this industry— that I didn't have to jeopardize my morals or my principles—either about what I stand for, how I'll be talked to, or how I won't be talked to, and things like that.

Shelly: I'm 31. So, I would say, don't take your twenties so seriously, especially in relationships— date, enjoy yourself, travel, have fun, be yourself —go for your big life.

Chloé: I'm so glad that my son, Taylor introduced me to you. I'm very proud of you, and we are clapping for you, Shelly Nicole Andrews.

Chloé: Are you managing, promoting, or directing your clients? Shelly: They all have different needs but I'm speaking on their behalf to their clients and potential clients—doing the back-and-forth with clients, negotiating, and providing a lot of support, and sometimes just being the bad cop.

Shelly: Thank you. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 14

More about

Shelly...

The Millennial

we love this issue.

Shelly Nicole Andrews is the Strategy & Operations Manager for Collective Gallery. In her role as manager, Shelly assists with client relationships, productions, leading events, project operations, and strategic planning. Along with this role, she runs her own brand management & event experience company, The ILL Group. In addition to these entrepreneurial endeavours, Shelly co-owns a monthly pop-up, Black Vendor Expo, which allows over 75 Black-owned businesses to set up and showcase their businesses to over 200 attendees. The Atlanta native and Hampton University graduate is excited to continue growing her business and using her influence to move others all around the world, with an emphasis on showcasing Black excellence through impactful experiences. <

SHELLY AND THE WHOLE TEAM @theillgroup @blackvendorexpo @collectivegllry Cover Story photographer: Niss @nissshoots Make-up: Ashley Gray @makeupbygray Hair: Shakera @shakerabraidsatl Nails: Micah Jones @nailteawithnani Stylist: Gordelle @stephaniegordelle Studio: Cam Kirk Studio @camkirkstudios FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 15

Get Ready To

LEVEL UP & SELF-ACTUALIZE WITH

MIND-SHIFT & MANIFESTATION

A TRANSFORMATIONAL LIFESTYLE PROGRAM

WWW.CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM

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AVAILABLE AT AMAZON.COM & EVERYWHERE BOOKS ARE SOLD. (See page 96 for an excerpt)

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 17

UTSIDE THE LINES by Laurie M. Renfro

My mother was not the most graceful woman in the

Coloring inside the lines is something humans learn to

world. She worked at it though, and pulled off a fairly

do. From those first childhood coloring books to the way

consistent image of a refined educator and Baptist first

we live our adult lives, we are encouraged by others to

lady. But her true colors would surface on giving

stay within prescribed boundaries. As this applies to

occasions—including Mother’s Day—when she would

women, we must be nice. We must be modest. We must

reliably plop down a box or a bag and crassly announce,

be giving. We must be humble. And each of these is a

“From me to me!” This was an act of rebellion. A private

virtue when we choose them for ourselves and when they

yet powerful rebuke of the societal expectation that

are employed in healthy relationship and proportion. But

women should give and give but minimally receive. This

things get mixed up when the whole way that we show

was defiance—because, back then, no one even had the

up is the result of someone else’s idea of who we are

thought that self-care is not sif-ish. In many ways, my

supposed to be.

mother was a woman out of time. So here’s the tricky part: The way we show up in the Born in 1925 into the poverty of Phoenix City, Alabama,

world unavoidably includes things learned from role

no one would have imagined that she would go on to

models. Parents, pastors, mentors and teachers loom

earn a post-graduate degree and a six-figure salary,

large in our self-definition. Influencers like these instill

and inadvertently flirt with feminism. She raised a family,

their values in us. They project their hopes on us. They

consistently worked full-time, served the community and,

curate their successes, failures, dreams and fears into

after retiring, supported my father in his role as pastor of

advice, admonitions and standards they hold us to. They

a growing church. My mother did all this while harboring

aggregate their life experiences to inform and direct our

an unspoken resentment for restrictive prescribed roles

own. And while what they give is most often driven by

for women. This showed up in many forms such as hastily

their desire for our good, it also reinforces the idea that

prepared meals, aloofness in certain matters of the

we should color inside the lines. The lines of their history,

heart and her indomitable salesmanship and fundraising

their circumstances, their values—their lives.

skills It can be tough to untangle ourselves from our people. Her contempt was justified in that she—unlike my father

We love and respect them and we are pained to

and the men of that day—was fixedly expected to do it

question their motivations and behaviors. Questioning is

all. All the raising, shopping, cleaning, cooking, caring,

risky. It can make us feel ungrounded, unstable. And it

wifeing, hostessing and all the other -ings ad infinitum.

can seem disrespectful and ungrateful. But our lives

While it was likely not fully sorted out in her head, I

never become our own until we take on the

believe my mother’s heart longed for more choices,

transformational exercise of introspection. We must look

fewer expectations and the freedom to gift herself both.

lovingly within to access our personal agency—which is

But my mother was a captive of time and society, and

the power and ability to filter out unwanted noise, find

had no real choice other than to keep trying to color

emotional and physical balance, think more clearly and

inside the lines.

advocate for the authentic self.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 18

But, with more than one sheepskin on her curriculum vitae, she still longed for fulfilling work that would bring her joy. So after a series of starts and stops, she manifested an opportunity and got her 31-year-old self on a plane to begin a new life. She did that. She gave herself the life she desires.

These days, I am doing nothing as life-changing as my daughter’s fantastic journey. But I am doing things no less profound, no less essential to my wholeness. I am giving myself extended periods of uninterrupted alone time. I am giving myself permission to wear strapless garments that previous body judgment would not allow. I am giving myself the freedom to engage in intimate relationship with less rigidity. These new ways of being are markedly outside of the boundaries that were set for me. I am becoming more me—more free, more divine. I am flourishing. I am coloring outside the lines.

LAURIE M. RENFRO

is a writer and spiritual seeker with a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology from Sofia University in Palo Alto, California (formerly the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology).

@routeinterrupted

Laurie Renfro

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 19

POETRY BY

SEANE SHAW A collection of poems that came to life as a result of living through one of the most challenging times.

Now

Available

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 20

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW AN INTERVIEW WITH BRIDGET NEW FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 21

FDM: What’s your back story? How did you get to be who you are today? Bridget: While in Dr. LuAnn White’s toxicology class, it hit me. It was so unbelievable, yet I knew that what she was saying was true. She mentioned that nitrates and nitrites in processed meats (i.e., in hot dogs, sausages, etc.) were carcinogenic. I later understood the process better—that is, that nitrates and nitrites, added as a preservative, once mixed with amines in meat form nitrosamines, which are cancer-causing agents. I thought to myself, how? How? How could that be? How could they—the FDA and the USDA—allow such harmful agents in our food? How could they? The nerve of them! Even worse was the ironic dichotomy that on the one hand I protected health; yet, on the other I took an active role in the detriment to the health of others. As an industrial hygienist, I protected employee health from such things as asbestos, lead, noise, radiation and all sorts of chemical and biological hazards. How could I be protecting workers, yet, purchasing and preparing food that was toxic for me and my family? Indeed, as a native of New Orleans, we regularly ate andouille sausage, hot sausage, smoked sausage, ham, bacon, luncheon meat, and salami as ingredients in gumbo, jambalaya, red beans and rice, and sandwiches. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 22

I wrongly assumed that if food was FDA- and/or USDA-approved, it was safe. But quite the contrary; that is not necessarily the case. That’s when my journey began, thanks to Dr. LuAnn White. Gradually, I began making changes to my family’s diet. FDM: What have been the toughest challenges you’ve faced and pulled through in a way that makes you proud of yourself? Bridget: Communicating the knowledge that I have in a manner that it is received has been a challenge. Because I had been deceived and then gained more knowledge of the truth regarding food, I have been on a mission not only to save my family, but everyone I encounter. And with such a passion and zest, I hit it with full force. Sometimes my zeal would come off as offensive, for people were not ready to be told that the food they enjoyed—and in some cases was on the fork and nearly in their mouths—was toxic and could harm their endocrine systems, their guts, and/or cause cancer. How insensitive I was, and I thought I was doing them a favor. But although I was sharing my truth, it was not necessarily theirs. >

Bridget, continued: Since that time and with the help of my children, now young adults, I have toned down my message quite a bit. Now most times I only share when invited. I follow the advice that I have given to my oldest son: “Drop it and leave it.” That means, share the information, then leave it alone—instead of drilling it into their ears, heads and hearts. Instead of being quite aggravating as I invade the space of others—their belief systems, their comfort zones—I now do my best to live the life of better health as an example to those I hope to impact. And as a result, they may ask, “What are you doing?” “How do you do it?” It makes for a much better conversation and ease of sharing when I'm invited. I also listen better. Of course, I can still get better, but for the progress that I’ve made, I am proud. FDM: What is it that you do now? And what part do you like best? Bridget: I assist others with transforming to healthier lifestyles by helping them to recognize toxins in food, personal items, consumer products and their environment. I also assist them with finding delicious nutrient-rich alternatives to their present diet. I stress the importance of rest, relaxation, recreation and living a life filled with positive thoughts, positive words and gratitude, and a life without offense. The part that I like best is showing people that it’s simpler than they may think, and letting them know that they can basically eat the same foods.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 23

To improve their quality of life they only need to incorporate some changes to the ingredients. I love educating and empowering people by giving them the tools to make healthier choices on their own. This gives them the confidence to do it, to enjoy the process and to make longlasting changes. This in turn gives me joy. FDM: What are your plans to give back and contribute to others? Bridget: My plans to give back and contribute to others is to share my truth with the masses that need it in hopes that it becomes their truth. That is, I am a firm believer in natural ways of healing and prevention of sickness and disease. In 2013, I launched my healthy product food line, Nutritiously Delicious. The goal behind it is to offer people the product, and upon tasting it, they say, “Oh, this is delicious.” My response is, “Yes, and it’s made with healthy ingredients.” Then that opens the door to share, and they are open to receive. The myth that “healthy food is nasty” is immediately destroyed. And in that moment they become willing to consider beginning the journey to healthier lifestyles. I plan to expand Nutritiously Delicious, making it available to more people and changing more lives. >

Bridget, continued: I have also developed a program called "Out with the OLD, In with the NEW, with Bridget New." This program takes individuals interested in changing to better lifestyles by the hand and patiently walks them through the process of learning about and recognizing toxins in their food, home and environment. I then introduce them to healthy alternatives and places where they can purchase better foods and products. In many instances the foods are quite affordable. I support any diet they choose. I just advise that it be toxicfree and nutrient-rich. FDM: How do you encourage and blaze a trail for those who desire to be in your line of work or follow in your footsteps professionally? Bridget: While living the life before others and sharing my way of living in a nonthreatening manner, I am very hopeful that others will become believers and adopt healthier lifestyles. Those who they influence will be impacted as well. I am so inspired by young people who have witnessed my lifestyle, and have listened and done their own research. Some are young moms and dads who want better lives for their offspring. They have changed their ingredients, steering away from the toxins and incorporating more nutrient-rich foods in their diet. FDM: What has been one of your greatest inspirations in life? Bridget: One of my greatest inspirations in life as it relates to health is the life lived by Dr. Faith Samples-Smart. She consistently lived a life whereby she refused to eat certain items. She displayed a standard for health that I had not seen before. She was a vegan. Over the couple of years that we would meet at semi-annual conferences and meetings, I would tell her that one day “I’m going to become a vegetarian.” Whenever I would ask what she did and how she did it, she would explain that she did detoxes and ate a vegan diet. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 24

After trying different changes to my diet, some six years later, that day finally came. My dear friend Katrina came to me and said she was going to do a detox. She asked if I would do it with her. My response was, “Yes, but I’m going to do it the way that Faith Samples-Smart advises.” So I reached out to Faith, and she recommended that I first read two books. I love that she educated me—for the true reason for education is to change minds and behaviors. After reading “Six Weeks to a Toxic-Free Body” by Dean Kimmel, I was convinced that I couldn’t continue knowingly putting all those poisons into my body. The other book recommended by Faith was “Are you Confused?” by Dr. Paavo Airola. This book gave me the how of hows to do the detox. After reading both books, I spoke with Faith who told me, “Now, you’re ready.” She also told me she’d support me in whatever choice I made, whether I decided to be a vegan, vegetarian, or pescatarian. I distinctly remember telling her that I wanted to follow the vegan diet like her. At the time, I was working part-time, raising four children, quite involved with my local church and helping my husband with his mechanic shop. Had I been working full-time, it would have been nearly impossible to accomplish. After the three-day prep, ten-day liquid detox and three-day breaking of the fast, I ate like a vegan. It was quite a different experience, but after reading the books that were recommended and cleaning my system out, I didn’t have the cravings that I'd had before. I had gotten to the point where, if I ate sugar, I got headaches. My body rejected such. In the beginning, I did Airola’s detox every three months. I ate like a vegan, and a healthy vegan— avoiding GMOs, pesticides, growth hormones, antibodies and other toxins. >

Bridget, continued: My desire was to have optimal health, because I desired to live long and be strong, not burdened by sickness and disease. So, I was willing to do the work. I felt like I had been a latebloomer because of insecurities in my younger years. So in order to fulfill my purpose, reach my destiny and realize my dreams, goals and visions, I wanted to have many more years—and healthy years—on this earth. I ate like a vegan for twelve years. Then after attending an online conference hosted by other professionals in the area of nutrition, I began incorporating animal products. The reason I changed to a toxic-free vegan diet in the first place was to have optimal health; yet, my vision wasn’t quite what I wanted it to be. My knees began to hurt. I realized, with the help of a naturopath and my holistic nutritionist, that I was missing something in my diet—some of what animal products provide. So now I incorporate some animal products—that is, if they're free from the growth hormones, antibodies, pesticides, herbicides, and GMOs. In most cases that means organic, and/or pasture-raised or wild-caught. It was very difficult eating animals after so many years of only eating veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds and whole grains. I would say that now my diet fluctuates between five percent and fifteen percent animals. Most days, I don’t eat any animal products. While eating like a vegan, I’ve had people ask, "How do you do it? How is it that you resist all these other foods?" These were formerly foods that I really enjoyed. My response would be, “I psyched myself up.” And indeed, I did. I read the books, did the research and educated myself. I achieved for myself just what I often tell people to do. <

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“CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE.” ABOUT BRIDGET NEW Bridget New loves to inspire and give hope to those she encounters, particularly those seeking to improve their health. Bridget’s free spirit and exuberance is what draws people, and she uses these qualities to pour into their lives. One of Bridget’s favorite scriptures, and one she constantly quotes is, “All things are possible for those who believe" (Mark 9:23). She provides encouragement and support that builds confidence, and the hearers in turn believe that what they desire is achievable. Bridget's healthy product food line is called Nutritiously Delicious. She has developed “OUT with the OLD, IN with the NEW,” a program that assists people with transforming to healthier lifestyles. Ms. New’s credentials include a BS in Environmental Health from LSU, an MSPH in Industrial Hygiene, an MSPH in Biostatistics from Tulane University's School of Public Health and a post-baccalaureate teaching certificate in Mathematics from Southern University. Bridget loves being a business owner who provides services and products that improve the quality of life. She is the mother of five and grandmother of three, the youngest of which is a one-year-old baby girl.

Beauty matters, Darling! Women have chased beauty and youthfulness since ancient Egyptian times. Beauty matters...significantly—especially when it comes to mating and reproductive success. What a particular man wants in a woman stacks up differently from what a woman wants in a man. On a scale of one to five, men say that attractiveness is number one on their list, followed by commitment, social skills, resources and then sexiness. For women, though, commitment is number one, followed by social skills, resources and attractiveness, with sexiness bringing up the rear. These aren't new preferences for either of the sexes. Rather, they have evolved consistently over millennia.

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GET YOUR

groove

BACK!

A DK UNPUZZLE LIFESTYLE AND EMPOWERMENT EVENT with Khomotṧo Mashalane

On the 14th of November, 2021, DK Unpuzzle Lifestyle and Empowerment hosted the first of the many events themed: “How to Get your Groove Back.” The event was organized by the founder of DK Unpuzzle Lifestyle

ṧ

and Empowerment, Khomot o Mashalane. Sixty powerful and influential women of South Africa attended the event.

ṧ

According to Khomot o, what motivated her to start these events is the fact that one of the most undeniable truths about societies—stretching back from the beginning of time—is this: Women are the cornerstone of many differing communities. Outside of studies made, observation alone proves this further by demonstrating the fact that when the economy or the political and social systems of a society change, women take the lead in helping people—social groups and families—adjust to new realities and challenges.

Women are likely to be the prime initiator of outside assistance, and they play an important role in facilitating changes in family life. Families so often reflect and mimic the behaviors of wider societies. This microcosm we can use as a model for how communities move. We can see that this has resulted in the inevitable exploitation of women on every level.

DK Unpuzzle is always aiming to focus on the socioeconomic exploitation of women on a day-to-day basis. We focus on starting at a level we can manage in a small but effectively long-lasting way.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 28

This event's theme centered around the word groove, because groove is something we believe comes intrinsic to every woman. The word groove is about independence—independence with regard to one’s self, one’s finances and one’s surroundings. Women are able to liberate not only themselves but others with fundamental independence. And that is what DK Unpuzzle is

The enemy of societal and patriarchal stigmatization, judgment, control, sexism—and any form of oppression in general—is unity. Therefore, DK Unpuzzle is directing unity as a weapon for regaining the loss of our groove on every single level possible.

concentrating its purpose around: helping women obtain their groove.

We want the foundation of DK Unpuzzle to be about mutual respect and love for one another, about meeting fellow women

Furthermore, what we emphasize is that groove is not a one-sizefits-all method of living. We recognize the importance of assisting women on whatever point of the "groove spectrum" they may be situated. We work collaboratively on dismantling stereotypes that hinder women—stereotypes that perpetuate fruitless competition

wherever they may be on their journey to gaining back their

ṧ

individual groove. As Khomot o says, ’’As you succeed and grow, make it your priority to empower other women. As you climb, bring other women along. You lose nothing by doing so." She adds, “When women thrive, businesses and communities thrive.”

within womanhood. Ultimately, we encourage upliftment and partnerships between woman, rather than individual-driven competition.

DK Unpuzzle Lifestyle Lifestyle and Empowerment has plans to hold a Global Conference in 2022. "I believe that serious

ṧ

resolutions will be discovered there," says Khomot o. "All women What we believe in here at DK Unpuzzle, more than anything, is that empowerment truly lies in supporting and uplifting each other in ways that last. Women's empowerment is a critical aspect of achieving gender equality. It includes increasing a woman's sense of self-worth, her decision-making power, her access to opportunities and resources, her power and control over her own life inside and outside the home, and her ability to effect change.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 29

in attendance will go back to their countries with a clear mandate."

Ultimately the objectives at this Global Conference will be to address the following issues:

Education in all its forms and all levels, is part of our goal to assist women of all ages in obtaining and furthering credentials and qualifications in their respective fields and interests. We will facilitate workshops that equip women with tools such as tips on banking, registering businesses, gaining sponsorships, and more.

Women’s Health is an increasingly pressing issue. HIV/AIDS is becoming more and more an impactful issue for women. Women have fewer opportunities for health education, unequal power in sexual partnerships, and may encounter gender-based violence. Maternal health is also an issue of specific concern. In many countries, women have limited access to prenatal and infant care, and are thus more likely to experience complications during pregnancy and childbirth.

Economic and Political Empowerment is vital, as women make up more than fifty percent of the planet's population, yet they own only one percent of the world's wealth. Women and girls perform long hours of unpaid domestic work. Furthermore, in so many places, women still lack the right to own land or to inherit property, to obtain access to credit, to earn income, or to move up in their workplace free from job discrimination. Additionally at multiple levels, including at home and in the public arena, women are widely underrepresented as decisionmakers. In legislatures around the world, women are outnumbered four to one, yet women's political participation is crucial for achieving gender equality and genuine democracy.

Platforms and organizations such as

DK Unpuzzled are moving forward, from

the smallest scale to the largest scale possible. From an uplifting phone call to lend an ear, to providing a sponsorship, we are making progress bit by bit—in getting and keeping our intrinsic

groove.

www.wef.org.in

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 30

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FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 31

DAVID MOODY THE MAN WHO CONSTRUCTS LANDMARKS AND BUILDS UP PEOPLE

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 32

DESPITE HIS TREMENDOUS BUSINESS SUCCESS...

MOODY HAD A SECRET

Not only has he helped construct iconic landmarks in Atlanta, but he has also spent the past 30-plus years building up people—people who have been sexually abused as children. President and Chief Executive Officer of C.D. Moody Construction Company, Inc., David Moody is best known for his work on the Olympic Stadium, the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, Turner Baseball Field, Philips Arena, Mercedes-Benz Stadium, and the Maynard H. Jackson International Concourse. Despite his tremendous business success, Moody had a secret—a secret he kept buried

by Melinda Colton

for nearly thirty years.

The Younique Foundation

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 33

THE AFTERMATH OF REVEALING THAT DEVASTATING SECRET ALMOST KILLED HIM.

Statistics tell us that one in ten children will experience sexual abuse by the age of 18. Moody believes that child sexual abuse is likely even more prevalent than the statistics indicate. Of the children who experience some type of abuse, nearly ninety percent of those are abused by a family member or someone they are closely acquainted with. Even though Moody was not sexually abused by a family member, he adds, “parents and adults often know it’s happening but don’t want to deal with it. They don’t want to mess up the family or friendship dynamics. They The secret came to life when his wife was telling him about someone in her family who had been sexually abused as a child. At age 36, the memories of Moody’s own childhood abuse came flooding back and he shared his secret for the first time with his wife. He experienced panic attacks, fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, self-doubt, and dread, as well as additional symptoms of PostTraumatic Stress Disorder. Eventually he had a nervous breakdown.

think if they just keep the kids away from that family member that everything will be OK. They leave it up to their children to deal with it.” Moody says he was one of the fortunate ones. His mother became suspicious something was going on and then that person was never allowed back in their home.

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IS A TOPIC IN THE UNITED STATES THAT MOODY FEELS VERY FEW PEOPLE WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE. The mental and physical impacts of this kind of trauma are real, and incredibly difficult for a

As Moody sought counseling, he realized he

child and an adult to deal with,” he says.

was not alone. He learned that one in five

“When your innocence is stolen you feel

children in the United States will be sexually

ashamed and embarrassed and don’t want to

abused before they reach age of 18. “Back in

believe it yourself. You are always trying to

the 1960s no one really talked about child

get back that innocence but you can’t.” While

sexual abuse,” he says. “We were taught

he acknowledges that it is impossible to

'stranger danger' and that was about all.”

change the past, Moody firmly believes healing and strength can be part of every survivor’s future.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 34

Moody encourages survivors to keep speaking up, telling their stories, and receiving the support they need. He says speaking up is not for everyone, but every survivor deserves the right to be healthy and have an incredible life. Sharing his own story has been a part of his healing. “I feel such an urgency with this issue. I never want another person to suffer in silence like I did.” He spent years in therapy learning to manage panic attacks and anxiety. It wasn’t until 2020 that he finally came to terms in dealing with his trauma. Today, Moody proudly dons a tattoo that says, “Turn Trauma into Triumph,” which he got for his 65th birthday in 2020 after he completed cognitive behavioral therapy. “I felt like I had reached a point where I was starting to feel free,” he says. That freedom did not come easily. Moody says healing is a life-long journey for abuse survivors. He has spent years in therapy and learning how to manage his anxiety and mental health. Finding this help hasn’t always been easy. There are still scant resources for male survivors, especially those from the 1960s when his abuse occurred. In response to this need, Moody is a proponent for more adult advocacy centers where men can seek help. He encourages companies to provide more mental health options as well, and urges politicians to enact more legislation to protect children from sexual abuse.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 35

David Moody with Tyler Perry

MOODY ADVOCATES FOR MORE SERVICES AND RESOURCES AVAILABLE FOR MEN. Moody is the first male survivor to be an advocate for The Younique Foundation, a nonprofit focused on bringing awareness to child sexual abuse. The Foundation, with offices in Georgia and Utah, currently helps women impacted by this horrible trauma, and provides prevention resources to parents and caregivers. Once the necessary funding is raised, the Foundation plans to be able to offer its services to all genders. "I want to make it comfortable for men to know it’s OK to get help. Everyone—especially men— needs to realize that they have the right to feel healthy, happy, and whole,” he says. He will be serving as The Younique Foundation’s honorary Chair of its 2022 Thrive Gala: An Evening of Hope and Inspiration, which is set for Feb. 26th at the Country Club of the South in Johns Creek, Georgia. “As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I know first-hand the importance of protecting the most vulnerable—our children. It is an honor for me to support this great work of prevention and healing,” says Moody. “The Thrive Gala will raise valuable funds to support the national and global expansion of this critical work. We must do everything within our power to save our children from this trauma.”

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 36

He started a website, Moody Speaks, as a platform where survivors can share their stories and reaffirm that they are not alone. “People can go to www.moodyspeaks.com and, in private, find the resources they need. I speak up to free those who have been abused and want to move forward with their lives. A lot of men are not protherapy—especially Black men. Counseling is looked upon as something only crazy people need. But the one thing I realized is that I could not heal myself. I needed someone to help me manage the trauma.”

COUNSELING HELPED A LOT, HE SAYS, ALONG WITH THE SUPPORT OF HIS WIFE, CLOSE FRIENDS, AND HIS FAITH. “I had a tremendous desire within myself to not let the trauma of the abuse take over my life. I learned to handle it so it didn’t handle me.” It has been nearly three decades since Moody revealed his secret. His goal is to continue to give voice to those who feel forced to be silent, to give hope to the hopeless—to give encouragement to those who have suffered from this trauma. “I want survivors to realize they can do incredible things regardless of their past.” The soon-to-be grandfather derives joy from speaking, traveling, and spending time in nature with his wife, Karla. Moody is the author of Fighting Through Fear: My Journey of Healing from Childhood Sexual Abuse. He

also finds photography as a means of therapy. He has dedicated much of his adult life to giving back and investing in the well-being of Atlanta’s youth.

He has coached soccer, football, and basketball, and serves as a mentor/father figure for several young men. His firm has partnered with Stoneview and Shadow Rock Elementary Schools, providing resources and support for students. In addition, the C.D. Moody Construction Foundation provides scholarships to minority students. Moody reminds survivors that they are much stronger than they realize. “You can push through the fear to get to the other side.” Survivors looking for resources are invited to visit The Younique Foundation’s comprehensive website at www.youniquefoundation.org. While the Foundation currently provides healing retreats and support groups specifically for adult female survivors, it also offers a vast collection of online resources for all survivors of child sexual abuse. There are also online prevention resources and community education materials available for parents and caregivers to reduce the risk of their children being impacted by abuse. All of the Foundation's programs and services are provided free to participants.

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 37

Our instinct is a manifestation of the physical. Our intellect is a manifestation of the mental. Our inspirations are a manifestation of The Spirit. Be Present.

AMAZ

HAPP

WRITE THE LIFE YOU WANT TO LIVE! FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 39

K B I GG

FEELING MY BEST LIFE INTO EXISTENCE

SPEAKING MY BEST LIFE INTO EXISTENCE

CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN

URS

Write Your Mantra & Live Life By Design.

Doing New Things

by Janis Hunt Johnson

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 40

The Bible says that there’s really “nothing new under the sun”—that it’s all the same-old, same-old, over and over (see Ecclesiastes 1:9). On the other hand, there are also plenty of Bible passages where the word new is mentioned with joyfulness and anticipation. The Psalms of King David often instructed the congregation to “sing a new song to the Lord” (see Psalm 96:1 for instance), and the prophet Isaiah regularly described the newness of God: “Forget about what’s happened. Don’t keep going over old history. Be alert. Be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, and rivers in the badlands” (see Isaiah 43:16–21, The Message). To the early Jesus-followers in Corinth the Apostle Paul wrote a letter saying that “if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creature: Everything old has passed away. See? All things have become new!” He went on to say: “God has given us the task of telling everyone what God is doing. We’re Christ’s representatives. God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God’s work of making things right between them. We’re speaking for Christ himself now. Become friends with God. God is already friends with you” (see 2 Corinthians 5:16–20, The Message).

What does it mean for us to be “in Christ”? The word Christ means “anointed” or “chosen.” So if we really want to think out of the box here, we ought to focus not only on Christ Jesus the person, but also on everything that’s good and right. Truly, God—Life Itself, Love Itself, Good Itself—has chosen each of us. God is perpetually broadcasting only unconditional love and good ideas to the world. It’s up to you and me to tune in, pick up on the signal, and then do something about it. What if our troubles seem too big to solve? Or too complicated to even try a new solution? God never thinks so! When I feel deep down in my heart how much I want the world to change, I have to drop the overwhelm and start over—with prayer. I need to listen. I ask what God has given me to do today, and then I give it my best to do my part. In this troubled world, if we want to make things better for us all, we’ve got to keep God at the forefront of our thought, moment by moment. That way, we can live our prayers. And that means we have to keep clearing out what doesn’t work in order to let God do new things—to do the good work that’s still left to be done. Then anything can be accomplished through us. <

Janis Hunt Johnson FLOURISH DIGITAL MAGAZINE'S COPYEDITOR, JANIS IS A SPIRITUAL WRITER, EDITOR, COUNSELOR AND HEALER, AND THE AUTHOR OF FIVE SMOOTH STONES: OUR POWER TO HEAL WITHOUT MEDICINE THROUGH THE SCIENCE OF PRAYER. CSRenewal.medium.com

Facebook.com/CSRenewal @CSRenewal

FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 41

Acclaimed Abstract Expressionist Artist

DANNY SIMMONS: INTERTWINED

An Exquisite Art Exhibition Town + Culture Gallery at The Works: Atlanta, Georgia Opening Reception: Friday, February 18th, 2022 Get details at townandculture.com

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She Spoke It, AND IT WAS! THE MANIFESTATION OF A CHILDHOOD DREAM

a conversation with Tiffany Elle Burgess I recently had the wonderful opportunity to chat with a woman who is truly squeezing everything good out of life while walking in her gifts and talents. Author, screenwriter, actress and producer Tiffany Elle Burgess chatted with me about her journey and how she has chosen to flourish. She is a living witness to the saying, “dreams really do come true"! Paula G.: Let's start with the first question that I have for you in regard to some of the goals and dreams that you have had that have manifested. Tell us about that journey to manifestation. Because you and I have known each other for a while and I've seen some of your projects, and so forth, unfold. So, what were some of your goals and dreams? And what was your journey to their manifestation? FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 44

Tiffany: I have been writing since I was a little girl. When I was six years old, one of my goals was to publish a book and to have it widely disseminated—and to have it be impactful. So, when I started writing Skin Like Mine, I actually started writing it as an adult novel in 2007, and I told my mother—we laugh about this because I told her—"One day I'm going to have a book in Essence magazine." I was saying, "It's going to happen!" And so, I started working on the novel. I was taking a class at Emory. They gave alums a discount. And so I took a creative writing and publishing course in the evening. So, I went to work and then I would eat dinner somewhere near the campus. And then I would go to class, and I'd started working on the book. But then I put it down like everyone else. Life happens. Things happen. But I would still write, because that's my passion and it makes me happy. >

Tiffany, continued: Writing brings me joy. But I wasn't, as you know, as focused as I needed to be— picking it up, putting it down. And so, I started to really refocus actually, during the grieving process after my grandparents passed away in 2015. I really struggled with their deaths, especially my grandmother's. And so, I remember kind of getting down, a little depressed. And my mother reminded me of what brings me joy. And so, she brought up my writing. She told me, "You love to write. It's a God-given talent! But if you don't nurture it, you may lose it." And I feel like I was taking it for granted. I had won writing awards and all those things when I was younger, and I would have little various things published here and there. But I really started to refocus—that this is my dream. I decided, "This is one of my dreams. And I'm going to sit down and I'm going to do it." It helped me to refocus my energy to just kind of get through the grief. And so I dedicated the book to my grandmother and my two aunts who passed away. That was really the process. Once I reached out to Tiffany Goode here in Atlanta. She had a publishing company at the time. She was a Turner executive, and we'd gone to Hampton together. She’s my big sister. My Soror, that is. We are both Deltas. And I told her about Skin Like Mine and about just different things I'd been writing. And Tiffany really helped me with the vision for a children's book and taking this adult novel and writing it so that kids could understand it. Because I talk about the colorism that I experienced. It did happen in my childhood, or it started in my childhood—having a lighter skin, a Black mother, and me being with dark skin. So once that happened, that I met with Tiffany, I just started writing, and it just flowed. All the words flowed, and the process was about probably eight months, or nine months, something like that. But I saw it come to fruition—that dream from when I was six years old—and then my story actually really was published in Essence magazine! And my mother and I were thanking God and celebrating that. We recognize the power of the tongue and manifestation, and speaking out loud these positive things that you want to happen, and trusting that God will get you there if it's His will. It was amazing, because I'd told her that years ago, I was saying, "I'm going to be in Essence magazine for a book that I write!" And she would say, "OK, I believe it." And then, you know, all these years later, Essence published it, under the beauty news topic—it was Hot Topics, or something like that. And they had a picture of the book, and they had a blurb about the book and where to find the book and, really they supported Skin Like Mine when it came out. Paula G.: That is beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing that, because I know our readers will be able to relate to that. As you were sharing, I was hearing a few things. I have the TV show My Journey with Paula G, where we juggle this journey called life while walking in the gifts and talents that God has given us. And what you shared about the grief of losing your grandmother and your aunt—that's part of that journey called life. You're dealing with that while continuing to walk in your gifts and talents. Your story provides encouragement and support, showing that your focus on getting back that drive and having that new motivation really worked. Words have power. I always say this. What we speak to and over ourselves matters. So, you spoke the manifestation into yourself at six years of age! Tiffany: Thank you for putting it that way, Paula. My grandfather died first, in January of 2015, and that started the grieving process. And then ten months to the date, my grandmother died, in November 2015. They'd been married for seventy-one and a half years. And I just hadn't experienced deaths that close since my aunt passed in ‘99—which is a blessing, right? FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 45

Because some people have experienced death way more than I have. But I definitely battled with that grief and also with depression. And then when my aunt died, who was my second mom, right before Skin Like Mine came out. I just was like, "OK, Lord." And I found some peace, like you said, in walking in my gifts and talents that my aunt and grandparents had always encouraged and nurtured. I just knew that they would be proud, like my mother said, because these were her parents and her sister, so for sure they would be proud of me. And I found some peace and healing. Healing is a journey. It's a process. It doesn't happen overnight. But I did find some peace in feeling like, "Look what I did, guys!" You know what I mean? And I knew that they would say, "Look what Tiffy did!" That's what my grandparents called me. And I could picture my aunt saying, "All right, Tiff!" Because that was her thing. She could write. She could act. She was very much a creative at heart as well. Paula G.: As I mentioned before, we've known each other for a while. And I've always admired your journey. Juggling the journey called life while walking in your gifts and talents is not always easy. Sometimes we just fall down and say, "I don't feel like getting up. I'm not getting up. And no, I don't want to juggle anything!" Yet we rise and we still move forward. Some say we're out of the pandemic. Some say we're still in it. Regardless of what one's viewpoint is currently, how was it for you? How have you juggled through the almost two years of covid-19—being in the midst of a lockdown, and all those other changes occurring, the political climate and so forth? Tiffany: I think if you don't come out of this pandemic different, then you really missed an opportunity. Because I feel like God was really showing us something. So, my business partners and everyone in my life—we just figured out things to do outside, like being out and about. And I actually feel like you have to find the blessing in things during a pandemic. You have to feel like, "OK, what did I get out of this that was positive?" And so, for us as a family, I think it was just refocusing. Basically we have to slow down. This pandemic is making us slow down and focus on what's important—which is our health and each other. Paula G.: Absolutely. You know, that's something we've all had. Like I say, in my Mindset Journey courses, it peels back the layers. And like you said earlier, the lockdown forced us to sit with ourselves. And at that point, like you said, we've discovered the importance of family, and the importance of self-care. Most of those things are so incredibly important. So, you are a healthcare worker by day, and screenwriter, actress and author by night. That alone, I think, is encouraging to those who may be aspiring screenwriters, authors, or actors who are still working during the day. I hope they'll say, "Oh, gosh, if she can do it, then so can I!" What are some projects you can share with us? What are some projects that you have on the horizon in the coming year? >

Tiffany: So, we just finished, actually, during the pandemic, the animated short film Skin Like Mine, based on my first children's book—but that did not come out. It wasn't completely done, which was a whole other story. It took longer than we thought. And I learned a lot throughout that process. It came out in April or May of 2021. So right now, we're in the process of submitting that to film festivals. It has been accepted to three thus far. And we are enjoying the various screenings and feedback on this short film. And then there is the Tyler Street Films crew. So, I have two partners who formed Tyler Street Films with me. It's Jack Manning III and Lawrence Watford. And we all attended Hampton University. And so, we partnered with Stanley Aughtry, who also attended Hampton—to do Skin Like Mine. Stanley and I did Skin Like Mine together. And the guys are very supportive—service producers and editors and so many things. So, we got that done. And then there's Catharsis, which is a Tyler Street Films Production from Lawrence Watford, which has been very well received. It was just shown on The Vault TV recently. That was exciting, and we're still just watching God move that project. To this day, we still have people who ask us about Flipped. We still have that project—our first, our debut film—and it still has been moving. We recently developed a pitch deck for a scripted series. And so, we're shopping that around. I can't really share what it's about. But I'll just say we have finished that and have been in some talks with some pretty large entertainment agencies. And then I just finished a proposal for a mental health short film that I'm submitting on behalf of Jack Lawrence and Stanley Aughtry. We put together this pitch for a short film around Black men and mental health. I'm really hoping it is awarded. And so, we have a lot of different projects that we're juggling. I shot a short film on mental health last year in November, and that is in the post-editing phase, the post-production phase. And then I'm going to move back to my go-to, which is writing children's books. And so, I have one that I'm working on now that centers on a Black boy. Because I feel like we really don't have a lot of books where Black boys are the primary characters. I have four nephews, although they're older now. I thought, "How many books do we have that really focus on Black boys?" And so, I'm working on it and I hope to get it out. I don't even want to say it definitively, Paula—because I wanted to get it out by my birthday. My fortysecond birthday was August 27th, so clearly, I'm not done. But hopefully I’ll get it out in the early part of 2022. That's my goal. >

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Paula G.: Excellent. Now share just a little bit, for those who may not be familiar with Flipped. What is this film about? Tiffany: Sure. Flipped is a social justice short film that follows a day in the life of a teenager as he deals with racism and microaggressions. And the film explores these things in a very unique way. The main character, Christopher Imani, is just a standout baseball player. His goal is to go to college, but he's dealing with a lot of the racism and microaggressions that come with being his particular race. I'll say it that way. And long story short, he ends up in a situation with two police officers. And so we really wanted to explore social justice and police brutality and what that looks like in an alternate reality. Paula G.: To me, the amazing thing about that is to look at when that film first came out. Before the pandemic. And look at where we are now. It looks like a film before it's time. Tiffany: Thank you. I appreciate that. Paula G.: Is there anything else you'd like to share? Tiffany: Thank you for giving me this platform and inviting me to participate. I truly appreciate it. You know, like you said, you and I have known each other for a while, and you've been very supportive. And I really appreciate that. This is my takeaway: You said it earlier about manifestation and God's gift. I really, really am a witness to what it's like to walk in your purpose. Even when you sometimes get down—and life hits you hard and you don't feel like it—if you pick yourself up and trust that God has a plan for your life, it will reveal itself. And you will be completely blessed and in awe of what God can do in your life. I didn't see all of this coming, but I'm just truly grateful for it. I'm such a true witness to this. Paula G.: Thank you, Tiffany. May you continue to embrace your journey and flourish! <

PAULA G. VOICE Paula G. Voice is a sagacious lifestyle influencer— influencing dreamers to breathe life into their dreams and ultimately live the reality of their vision. It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dream. Flourish!

WWW.PAULAGVOICE.COM

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Photo Credit: Marie Thomas

Mom: I have the pleasure of conducting this interview, which to me is pretty cool because now I get the chance to ask the questions I would like to know the answers to. So let’s get right to it. Many people know that when you presented your idea about starting a business to help girls dream bigger, I basically said, “This is great Xara. I’m glad you want to do something—but no. This is not the time. We can’t do this right now.” How did you feel, that I basically told you no—me, of all people—to your idea? Xara: So basically, when you said no to me, I laughed. I was like, “Did this woman just say no to me and my bright idea about starting a nonprofit?” But then I said to myself, "You know what? I’m just going to keep bugging her about it because she will eventually say yes if she sees my passion." And here we are today. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 48

Mom: And you’re right. After you consistently bugged me, I began to see how serious you were and how passionate you were. So eventually you did get that yes out of me. Now, even once you got started—you were only eleven at the time, and so being so young trying to work this new idea—I know you didn’t know what it took to be a business. Girl, you didn’t know what it was to be a leader let alone an executive. And you definitely didn’t know what it was to run a company. I mean, you were just a kid. Despite that, I would almost attack you saying, “Xara, are you really passionate about this?" A nonprofit is all about a mission and a passion. If I don’t feel you are really serious, and if I then tell you that if I don’t see your passion I will shut this idea down, how did that make you feel? What was it like to be questioned and challenged about your feelings? Did you begin to question if this was something you really wanted to do? Xara: No. Because I think anything you really want to do is for you to do. You just have to keep going no matter what people say—even my mom. For me, I can see myself being the leader to start this organization. And if I let myself down this easily, then I am going to fail at many things I want to try to accomplish— especially big goals like becoming a multibillionaire. Mom: Wow, OK. Now I see that you have been looking into investing and the stock market. But everyone known that’s what I do. Do you really feel like that’s your desire? Or are you just doing what you see I do, and think that’s an easy pursuit? Xara: Well first of all, I do know about a lot of different careers and I understand a lot about different careers—not to mention that fact that I grew up loving Math and Social Studies as well. And so I like looking at the economics of things because it’s just interesting. I fell in love with it because I know I can make money. And I know I can’t just get money fast, so since I have to take it slow, I know I have to also make wise decisions about how I make money. >

WWW.BOSSGIRL.ORG FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 49

Mom: With Boss Girl, you have become an inspiration to many girls and even to many adults. People are beginning to expect certain things from you. I, of course, expect great things from you—including maintaining straight A’s (because you know I’m not having B’s—but you also have swimming. And now you have also expressed interest in dance. I know I personally place a lot of pressure on you. Do you sometimes wonder what you have gotten yourself into? Does the pressure ever seem too much? Xara: Yes, sometimes it does. And I do wonder if this is something I can do because it is a lot of pressure. I mean, I’ve never run an organization until now but I do believe I have the qualities of leading this organization. But yes, sometimes I laugh and I do think, "Xara, you’re only twelve! How could you think you can run a whole organization like this?" But I also know now what I really want to be and what I want to do. And I know it’s going to be challenging but I’m ready for it. I’m a tough girl.

Mom: So what happens if things just seem like they are not going like you planned? You know, sometimes we have these big ideas and goals, and things just don’t seem to work out as planned. How do you think you will handle that? Xara: First of all, this is my mission. So I’m going to strive and not just think that I hope for this to happen. I am going to make this organization happen and become successful. I am willing to strive for this. So whatever I see for this organization, that is what is going to happen. Even if there are things that do not go as planned. Mom: OK! Yet again, your response amazes me. That was a pretty good answer, I've got to say, I love the determination. High-five to you! I totally agree. I think more of us need to focus on the things we can control, especially when it comes to our goals and ambitions—and not let the things we can’t control stop what we are destined to do. We may have to pause or backpedal, but not stop. Well Xara, all I have to say is, with this attitude, confidence, and determination, you are bound to accomplish great things. No matter how hard I may seem to be on you when it comes to your dreams, just know, I am super proud of you! <

Boss Girl Inc. is a 501c3 organization founded by eleven-year-old Xara Kemp. Xara believes in helping girls dream BIGGER. Her mission is to TURN A GIRL INTO A BOSS by getting coaches and mentors from all over the world to teach young girls how to become billionaires.

Boss Girl is not only about teaching girls to become billionaires, but also to give and to support each other. Boss Girl offers five programs: Financial Literacy, Personal Development, Professional Development, Health & Wellness, and Global Travel.

The all-time universal facial expression is a smile. A true smile can reveal happiness and joy. The corners of your mouth will curve upward; your eyes will twinkle causing the outer corners to crinkle into beautiful, expressive crow's feet.

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BROWN

SKIN

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MYTHS & TRUTHS

You may have heard that brown skin doesn't need anti-aging products because it's already dark, or that you should avoid certain moisturizers because it will make your skin lighter. But this isn't true! Skin color doesn't matter when it comes to aging. You're going to age no matter what. And whether you like it or not, brown skin also needs moisture and protection from the sun, just like anyone else's does. In this article I'll be talking about all the myths regarding skin color and aging, as well as how to protect your beautiful brown skin!

who is considered having skin of color? All humans have the same number of

There is no such thing as a person who is naturally

melanocytes. It is the amount of melanin

black or brown. Everyone has dark skin when they

produced in the skin that determines a person's

are born, but the melanocytes begin to activate at

skin color. Statistically, forty percent of the

different times, so one baby may start producing

population are people with skin of color. The

pigment in their skin before another. This leads to

most commonly seen are Africans, Hispanics,

natural variation of skin color.

Asians, and Caucasians. As I mentioned, it is the amount of melanin in our skin cells that determines the color of our skin. The more active melanocytes there are, the darker your skin will be. With age, the melanocytes decrease in number and activity, so less pigment is produced. Skin color thus changes with age, usually getting lighter and losing its elasticity and firmness. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 53

Skin color is a spectrum so every person's skin will have a different tone. In order to determine someone's tone, their range needs to be understood as well as the darkness or lightness of it over time. Because it is difficult to determine whether someone is a person of color based upon appearance, as a professional skincare specialist, I like to use two skin analyzing instruments to identify skin color tone.

The first skin analysis tool is the well-known Fitzpatrick skin classification. The second is the Roberts skin type classification, which is a more in-depth tool. Because of an increase in multiracial and multicultural babies in the United States, skin analyzing instruments are useful for accurately treating and recommending the best skincare treatment or products for people of color.

how does skin color affect aging and anti-aging products?

When your skin changes color with age, it's critical to preserve its health. Because they may lighten the skin, certain items might contain chemicals that are harmful to brown-skinned individuals. Brown-skinned people require moisture and protection from the sun like everyone else. Every type of skin gets wrinkles when you age. You can't stop the passage of time, but you may be able to slow down its effect on your skin with some prevention techniques. Chronological aging is caused by advancing years and will occur no matter what; UV damage—or photo aging— happens when people spend too much time in harsh environments without adequate ultraviolet protection. Improper UV protection causes the skin to develop wrinkles and sagging firmness due to collagen loss over many decades; pigment spots can also appear, which give an aged appearance. Lack of proper UV protection makes it more difficult for us all around our faces—including for those of us who have not even yet reached our golden years. So, the expression "Black don't crack" is indeed partially true when it comes to photo aging. In general, darker skin tends not to show signs of wrinkles. However, dark-skinned people are more prone to age spots, to dark patches on the skin and to harmless brown growths known as seborrheic keratoses. Skin color has nothing to do with aging or how your face will look when you get older. In fact, studies have shown that if brown-skinned people don't use sunscreen, they're actually more likely to develop signs of photo aging than lighter-skinned people.

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PROTECTING BROWN SKIN

The best way to protect your brown skin is to begin at an early age. Our skin is in constant need of collagen, moisture, and protection, which can only be met by a good skincare routine! Did you know that between the ages of 21 and 25 we start to lose one to two percent of our collagen every year? This results in wrinkles and sagging skin. My professional recommendation would be that everyone needs to see an aesthetician or skincare specialist every month as part of their monthly maintenance routines, along with using products that are specifically made for your skin type. In this way, you'll not only protect but also maintain your natural beauty. Here at Eyetopia Med Spa, we help address your skincare needs by recommending our hands-down best Trio Skincare Perfection Treatment Plan, which addresses your collagen, moisture and protection needs. This three-part series of professional treatments includes: microneedling, VI peels, and hydrafacials. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 55

MICRONEEDLING This is a procedure that uses sterilized needles to make small wounds on the skin. This causes your body to stimulate more collagen and elastin production, which results in firmer, tighter, more hydrated skin with less visible fine lines and wrinkles, while smoothing out large pores. Microneedling lessens acne scarring and hyperpigmentation, and brightens skin.

VI PEELS A VI peel is a skin resurfacing medium-depth medical-grade chemical peel that is painless and safe for all skin types. Based upon your skin type during consultation, here at Eyetopia we choose one of our five custom-blend peels to help treat aging skin, wrinkles, fine lines, active acne, acne scarring, melasma, sun damage, keratosis pilaris and hyperpigmentation. Our VI peels also stimulate collagen production and exfoliate skin to increase cellular turnover, revealing smoother and more radiant skin.

HYDRAFACIALS Also known as hydrodermabrasion, a hydrafacial uses high-powered technology to cleanse, extract, and hydrate. During your hydrafacial treatment, we use customized super serums that consist of nourishing antioxidants and peptide ingredients that create an instantly gratifying moisturizing hydrating glow in just three steps. Protecting your skin is a team effort. In addition to any professional spa treatment you receive, it's very important that you have a good home skincare daily regimen to help protect and maintain what has been achieved on-site at a spa. Upon consultation at Eyetopia, for example, a development plan including SPF will be personalized for you from our Taori Skincare Collection, which includes many clinical-grade products recommended for best results endorsed by our partnered dermatologists.

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FINALLY... If you have brown skin, the best and most important thing you can do to protect your skin against the harmful effects of aging is to start a skincare routine early. And stick with it. This means getting regular facials or treatments from a professional aesthetician or skincare specialist. Also, use products made for people with brown skin; they will provide the perfect balance between providing moisture and protecting you from the sun and the environment. Remember, brown-skinned people may not "crack" as quickly as lightskinned individuals, but they will age nevertheless! And if you don't take care of it now, those wrinkles and photo-aging issues are only going to get worse over time. The more we take care of ourselves, the better chance there is that we will age gracefully—no matter what color our skin happens to be. If you need help finding anti-aging skincare products that work for your unique needs, or if you're interested in our professional treatments here in Sandy Springs, Georgia, contact Eyetopia Med Spa today at (678) 367-0023. At Eyetopia Med Spa, we offer beauty solutions tailored just for you! From facials and lash extensions all the way down to hair removal services—here at Eyetopia Med Spa we want every aspect of being gorgeous inside and out to come alive.

Lady Patterson, LE, is a Medical Aesthetician and Owner of Eyetopia Med Spa and Taori & Co.—a company specializing in clinical-grade skincare and personal hygiene products. She has been recognized and awarded best personal care med spa in Sandy Springs, Georgia for seven consecutive years. www.eyetopiaspa.com @eyetopiamedspa FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 57

Winter Grooming: Lips & Hands by Chloé Taylor Brown

Lips Luscious, smooth, and sexy lips this winter will triumph every time. Beautiful plump lips are a sign of youth and natural beauty, so don't let cold weather crack your smile. The most beautiful, kissable look for lips this winter will be a natural look. Yes, your natural lip shade, spiked with a little gloss, is the most kissable lip look. Find your shade and pucker up.

Hands (& Nails) Since COVID-19 began we've all been encouraged to practice better hand hygiene by washing our hands more often throughout the day. So let's also remember our hand appeal, especially during cold weather. Try to keep a really good hand cream at home and with you to moisturize your hands and cuticles after washing so they don't dry out and crack. And if you want to keep young-looking hands, apply sunblock to the back of your hands if your winter includes a lot of sun. Darling, defy age by maintaining beautiful lips, gorgeous hands and wellmanicured nails (including hands and feet) all year long. < ChloéTaylorBrown.com

ChloéTaylorBrown

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Photo Credit: Marie Thomas

THE MANIFEST

A dream that remains in between your ears will only manifest into a daydream. I am a witness. We have all had dreams. Some of us have taken those dreams out of our heads and developed a plan to manifest those dreams. The manifestation of dreams begins with changing your thought pattern—how you think about that dream.

When the Atlanta Braves won the World Series, many of the players spoke about the journey it took to fulfilling the dream of winning that prestigious game. They dreamed about it, and they worked hard to get it. They manifested the dream! That’s how it works. Now, social media may have you believe that it all happens instantly. Prop up the camera on your phone, dance, sing, or do whatever you do. Instant success! No. The longevity of many of our entertainers today comes through years of challenging work, practice, and trial and error. There are many years that no one sees, that precede the eventual fame and fortune. It may appear that some people just popped out of the womb and instantly were professionals or experts in their given areas, but they were not.

We were all created for a purpose. The question is how do you tap into that purpose and what do you do with it when you find it? That's the journey! As the saying goes, “Leap and the net will appear.” It's true. Sometimes you have to free fall and let God do the rest. When we walk out of one season of our life and walk into another, it can be a challenge like no other. But it’s a necessary challenge that we have to go through in order to grow! My own personal journey has been one I never would have imagined. Well, maybe just a little bit. But my point is that I am where I am as a result of taking that leap. Dreams have manifested. I dreamed it. I wrote down what would it take to make it a reality. I did the work, and I took the journey to reality. I am seeing myself in roles that are in alignment with some of those dreams. It feels surreal! I mean, I am actually here, living something that I have dreamed about! You can do the same. It’s not just my journey. It’s your journey, too! You can live your dreams. You just have to embrace the journey that comes along with those dreams. In 2022, I challenge you to manifest your dreams—and flourish! <

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@IAMPAULAGVOICE

beauty TIMELESS FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 60

by Carol (The Lady) Causieestko

Thinking on my earliest memory of the words thankful and grateful, my mother comes to mind. The root of gratitude begins in childhood. It seems from birth I have concentrated on remembering my manners and always being gracious. For instance, my signature often includes: “Gracious thanks—The Lady.” My Mom always said, “Remember to always say thank-you. It will take you far.” Being raised in a Southern city in a middle-class family with a stayat-home mom taught me uncompromising manners, and the practice of generational social graces. As I also had the guaranteed expectation of becoming a debutante at the age of sixteen, I was always giving thanks and practicing graciousness even when it was not warranted. It just came naturally for me. >

ONE OF THE

healthiest

HUMAN EMOTIONS IS TO INHALE LOVE AND EXHALE GRATITUDE FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 61

With everyone slowly returning to a familiar lifestyle, being “too busy” is the new normal. It appears no one has time. We are so busy catching up on things that seem impossible to finish that we are missing the tangible things of the present—the beauty that is right before us in the power of gratitude. Within our busyness, we forget to be thankful and grateful for the small things. For most of us, we wish we could save time and quickly bottle it up, like when we were kids and captured a firefly in a jar. We desire the light to shine brightly forever. All we could imagine when experiencing euphoria was thinking about when we would have the next opportunity to have this grateful feeling all over again. Unfortunately, in life, time cannot be captured and preserved in a bottle. We must learn to embrace every moment with gratitude, with an understanding that time is fleeting. >

REFLECT ON YOUR

present blessings,

OF WHICH EVERY MAN HAS MANY—NOT ON YOUR PAST MISFORTUNES, OF WHICH ALL MEN HAVE SOME —Charles Dickens FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 62

Being an astrology, numerology, and angel number enthusiast, I believe in the power of numbers and their significance within the scope of universal energy. The ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras postulated that the meanings behind numbers were deeply significant. My numerology number is 3; this is considered the perfect number—the number of harmony, wisdom and understanding. In the new year of 2022, one of the best things you can do for your health is to live with a spirit of gratefulness. The numbers 2+0+2+2—numerologically speaking—equal 6. This number is also an angel number encouraging the focus to be about you, your prosperity, and self-care. In biblical terms (see Genesis 1:26–31), man was created on this day. The traditional New Year’s Eve anthem, Auld Lang Syne asks, “Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never bought to mind?” The answer is yes: Letting go of people and situations that no longer serve us is a way to be grateful for the past, while looking forward to and being thankful for the future. Letting go of stress is one of the best ways to practice gratitude. >

Gratitude

WILL SHIFT YOU TO A HIGHER

FREQUENCY AND YOU WILL ATTRACT MUCH BETTER THINGS.

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Can gratitude change the brain? In a study by The Mindfulness Awareness Research Center in UCLA, “Gratitude does change the neural structures in the brain and makes us feel happier and more content. Essentially, feeling grateful and appreciating others when they do something good for us triggers the ‘good’ hormones and regulates effective functioning of the immune system.” Furthermore, activating the reward center of the brain in this way means that gratefulness actually alters the way we see ourselves and the world. When we make a simple gesture—such as giving or receiving a thank-you note—according to Alex Korb, author of the book Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time, "our brain is automatically redirected to pay attention to what we have, producing intrinsic motivation and a strong awareness of the present.” Gratitude thus "forces us to focus on the positive sides of life." Scientists also believe that gratitude increases serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine, neurotransmitters which manage our emotions, anxiety and immediate stress resolution. In 2003, college professors Robert A. Emmons and Michael E. McCollough conducted a study proving that gratitude improves mental health and promotes better sleep. When people in the study made the effort to consciously focus on blessings, there were "substantial and consistent improvements in people’s assessments of their global well-being." >

LET

gratitude

BE THE PILLOW UPON

WHICH YOU KNEEL TO SAY YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER. AND LET FAITH BE THE BRIDGE YOU BUILD TO OVERCOME EVIL AND WELCOME GOOD. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 64

—Maya Angelou

What are the benefits of practicing gratitude? It makes us happier, reduces stress and improves self-esteem. Gratitude helps us to be resilient and sleep peacefully, to maintain physical health. Our romantic relationships and friendships improve. All of which allows for us to lead a more emotionally balanced, happier and positive lifestyle. Gratitude also enhances our organizational and motivational abilities. Since my lunar day, three months ago, I have been extra humble and full of gratefulness. The significance of my sovereign gratitude was the privilege to have been saved by a Higher Power from an incident that could have taken my life. As an advocate for a healthy lifestyle, I drink a homemade detox tea composed of ginger, turmeric, lemon, cinnamon, and apple cider vinegar. This tea is used as an anti-inflammatory to boost energy, cleanse the body, and support weight loss. I decided to try a new ingredient, so what I thought was a green tea bag picked from my tea jar, was another detox tea full of different types of ginsengs and lots of things that should never be mixed. I consumed it extremely fast in order to eat dinner. Within 20 minutes, I became extremely dizzy, and my entire body felt like a combination of electrical currents and fire running thru my veins (from my tummy to my head). Within seconds, my entire right side from my neck to my head became numb. The shooting pains were coming every few minutes, feeling like I was literally on fire. My face became ghostly, my body was weakened by nausea, and my heart was beating rapidly. This went on for over an hour and I was home alone. Thanks to my experience as a former yoga teacher, I knew how to breathe deeply to keep myself calm. I was convinced I was dying. At that point, I begin praying and leaning into favor and faith: making deals with the Higher Power to never complain about anything, and to always count every day grateful. >

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Unfortunately, this agony went on for days, becoming unbearable, which turned into two separate trips to the emergency room. Severe dehydration was my first diagnosis, and I was placed on bed rest. On the second visit, CAT scans were performed on my brain, and calls were made to my neurologist for explanations. No solid conclusions were found, but the assumption was that the combination of the two detox teas became a shock to my system and poisoned my body. I know for sure, if I had not remained calm in my faith, maintaining a grateful spirit, I could have died from a heart attack or stroke. After spending a few months recovering, still with a grateful heart, I am ready for my new beginning, healed and fully back to me! < “The gift of a favored life comes from knowing the power of gratitude.” Smooches and a cup of tea, Always—

The Lady

LADY CAROL CAUSIEESTKO CEO The

| Inner Lady's

Make-up Dressing

Enterprises Room

The

Return

Return of

the

The

Lady

Gentleman

www.returnofthelady.org @thereturnofthelady @theladysdressingroomofficial LadyCarol Causieestko McCollum

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"Your look is part of your power. Use it and flourish." —Chloé Taylor Brown

Do you know YOUR FASHION PERSONALITY TYPE? Knowing your clothing and fashion personality type can solve many fashion dilemmas and keep you from ending up on the worst-dressed list. More importantly, it will help you save precious time and energy by keeping you out of stores that are incongruent with your authentic image and the style that speaks for you with you. Knowing your fashion personality type increases your self-assurance about the clothes you do buy.

Are you Avant Garde, Bohemian, Business, Casual, Chic, Classic, Conservative, Country & Western, Dramatic, Flirtatious, Glamorous, High Fashion, Mod, Rebellious, Sporty, Sophisticated, Trendy, Urban, or something else ?

Chloé Taylor Brown is the author of Getting Ready Chloé-Style: Perfecting Your Authentic Image.

Let's schedule a closet audit— for a fashion personality discovery and a fun shopping experience.

CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM

EW YEAR, EW YOU.

HEY, MAMAS!

Before you start reading:

Close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath in.... Exhale.... Another deep breath in.... And exhale. Now just sit with your eyes closed, and when you’ve felt your body relax, open your eyes and start reading.

It’s 2022, so let's focus on sustainability in motherhood. Create a loving and kind space. Look gently into your life and see what no longer serves you. When you find it, allow it to leave. Sometimes we may find ourselves holding on to past learned behaviors, to people, and even to things; but for this year, let us commit to lovingly letting them go.

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine the life you would love to have, enjoying each day—and let's move toward that. Think of the details: where you are, your surroundings, the sounds you hear, the weather, what you’re wearing, and who’s there. Give thanks for what’s to come.

Maya Angelou once said:

Let’s start here....

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Be good to yourself. Create spaces and times to focus on you, and what you enjoy—your hopes, goals and dreams—and then move forward. Cultivate your hopes and dreams, and try not to judge your movements based on what or who you see around you. Your dreams will come to fruition in perfect timing.

Expand your mindset. We are not alone in this world. There are countries that span far and wide. The best way to expand your mind is to learn. Check out a country that you’ve always wanted to visit, look at a career that seems interesting, travel to a place that you've always wanted to go to. Whatever you do, know that these possibilities will eventually transition into realities.

Connect with other moms/women around the world who inspire you. Reach out to them and have a conversation. Ask how sustainability in motherhood works for them. Exchange ideas. You’ll be surprised at how much collaboration and sharing will benefit you.

Ask for help. One word, help. It carries so much weight. Moms are endless givers, but receiving is just as important. There’s no shame in saying "I’m overwhelmed," "This is a bit much," and "I don’t know." (The same goes for careers, entrepreneurship, and travel as well.)

Be adventurous. Find ways to create adventures in your life. Being adventurous is invigorating. The empowering feelings will linger and flow into other parts of your life.

Be kind to yourself. Speak kind words of encouragement to yourself. Don’t listen to the negativity that sometimes goes on in your head, but find the positive. If we can believe the negative, then certainly we can replace it with a positive thought.

Yes, it’s 2022, Mamas! create your own normal! and cheers to yet another amazing year!

ELENA TAYLOR-BAGGER Founder of The Innovative Mom, & single mom to five young adults

www.theinnovativemom.com @theinnovativemom

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Embracing and Loving your body type and shape is an organic super-power. It is pure, authentic and natural to love yourself and your body. Learn to make your own decisions about who you are, who you want to become, and how you want to show up in life—unapologetically.

Body image is how you think and feel about your body.

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LET'S TALK ABOUT

WOMEN & MONEY

Kim

"With over 20 years of consultancy experience in this area of business, we strive to achieve the following: develop, empower, enable and maintain." —Kim Scouller

TALK ABOUT MONEY

Can I make more money? How do I stop living paycheck to paycheck? What's the best way to reduce my debt? Do I have enough money to retire?

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Scouller

SAVE MORE MONEY From a financial perspective, women say their biggest regret is not investing enough money. We hold back because we don’t feel like we know enough. Banish the doubts and do two things. First, start on your journey to learn how money works. It’s not as complicated as you may think. Focus on the basics, like the power of compound interest, the time value of money, and the Rule of 72. Second, develop the habit of setting aside money every day or every week. This can be money from your current discretionary income. If you don’t think you have any extra income, then find it by reducing your expenses or create it with an increase in your income. Skip the latte, bag your lunch, or cut out something extra in your day or week. Without taking into account any potential growth from investing, the chart below shows how saving a little bit every day can add up over time.

Savings Amount Per Day

Total In A Month

Total In A Year

$30

$365

$15

$1,825

$10

$300

$3,650

THE NEXT NORMAL DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THE OLD NORMAL We may not see equal pay or equal wealth in fifty years or even in a hundred years or more. The traditional workplace is outdated. Men are promoted based on potential, and women are promoted based on improving performance. Women are held to a much higher standard. Studies suggest that these biases re-emerge strongly during times of economic crisis, like a pandemic. We can’t expect the Next Normal to be any different from the Old Normal unless we each take steps to bring about change for ourselves. It all starts with bringing our concerns into the light with real questions and open conversations. < For a complimentary copy of the book How Money Works by Steve Siebold and Tom Mathews, please send me an email at kim.scouller@wealthwave.com. You can also visit my website at https://wealthwave.com/kimscouller.and

@kimscouller.

1 Catalyst, “Quick Take: Women in the Workforce—United States,” June 5, 2019. 2 Pew Research Center, “The narrowing, but persistent, gap in pay,” April 9, 2018. 3 Merrill Lynch and Agewave, “Women & Financial Wellness: Beyond the Bottom Line,” March 2018. 4 Bureau of Labor Statistics, January 17, 2019. 5 Fast Company, “Working mothers are paying a career penalty during the covid-19 crisis. It’s expected to get worse,” Arianne Comen, July 14, 2020. 6 BBC World Service, “Coronavirus: Will women have to work harder after the pandemic?,” Pablo Uchoa, July 14, 2020.

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Our thoughts start with a word, an image, or an idea. We have the ability to turn them into something tangible & amazing. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 74

Laway Banks Laway Banks is fabulous, fun and enterprising. She has been living life by her own design since deciding what it is that she really wanted to be up to, and then leaving her safe corporate career—to be it and to do it. She soon started Laway Event Staffing, an event staffing company that offers luxurious experiences. Laway: That's exactly where I'm at right now in my life, Chloé. I have goals and inspirations, and I have desires in my heart that I've told myself I want to fulfill. And I'm at that moment right now, where I'm really walking toward my destiny and living my purpose. >

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I'VE ALWAYS BEEN "THAT GIRL"! a conversation with Chloé Taylor Brown

Chloé: When and how did you decide you wanted to create an event staffing company? Laway: My background is in sales. I always had corporate jobs in the sales industry. Back then, around the holidays, I always wanted to make extra money, I think we've all be there. So I started working for an event staffing company to make sure I was able to fulfill all the needs of my family and friends and for anyone around the Christmas holidays.

As I started working for that event staffing company, during that time I actually found I had a passion for events—being around people, and being able to make their experience memorable. Whether it's a holiday party, a wedding, a huge event at Piedmont Park (where I have a contract), or a dinner party, I love it. It doesn't even feel like I'm working. It feels like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. >

I always wanted to make extra money.

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Chloé: Are you saying that prior to you wanting to make extra money during the holidays, you didn't know you had a passion for making people happy? Laway: Yeah. Absolutely. That's when I discovered this passion. I'm a people person. So, no matter what event or what party I'm at, I'm always interacting with the guests of the party to just make sure they enjoy themselves and have a good experience. Sometimes people go to parties or even to networking events where they might not know a lot of people, or anyone at all. So, I'm that person who acts like a host at other people's parties and events—the one who tries to make sure they have a good time and a good experience. Chloé: After realizing that you had a knack for making people feel comfortable and special at events, what point did you decide to step out on your own and create your own company, Laway Event Staffing? Laway: While working holiday parties with the former company, I was going to a lot of private parties with an upscale clientele at their private homes in one of the most prestigious areas in Atlanta. My services stood out. They loved me being part of the experience because I provided great services to their guests. After a while they would say, "Laway, how do I get you to come back?" They would say, "I know you work for the company but if I tell them that I want you back, can you come back?" I would say, "Yes, just request that I'll come back, and I'll make sure to take care of everything for your next party."

So, I kept getting that—not just from that one client, but from almost every client I served. And finally something just went off in my head. I was thinking, "You know what? I really enjoy this. Let me go ahead and just start my own company." So that's when I decided. I woke up and just decided to start my own event staffing company. And since my name, Laway, is a unique name, I thought that Laway Event Staffing would be the name of my company. Chloé: Does your name, Laway, mean something special? Laway : Honestly, my name was made up. Of course, it's special to me. But my dad had three girls, and he wanted "La" in front of all his girls’ names. And when

it came down to me, the fourth girl, I guess he got a little stuck on what he wanted to follow behind the "La"; finally he came up with the unique name, Laway. Chloé: What year did you start your business? Laway: It was 2016. I continued to work my corporate job—as any entrepreneur would do, starting a new business. Of course, you can run across a lot of challenges. You just have to stay persistent. And not just stay persistent, but you have to just keep at it no matter what, because at times things will become frustrating. There are goals that need to be met, obstacles that you run into. When that happens, you just have to keep going. Just keep

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going, just keep going. So, I never gave up on my goal. And as time went on, I continued to develop relationships, attend parties and events, and build my clientele. And since the beginning I've built a great database and an amazing clientele. And, once I started building the great database, I have had consistent companies and consistent private clients that I have worked with on a regular basis. And I recently secured a contract with Piedmont Park. I have gained consistency with this contract and I will be doing all their events on a weekly basis for four of their venues on the park premises. Chloé: I love this, Laway. Congratulations! Has anyone ever told you that you appear to be a sweet badass? >

Laway: No, but it makes me laugh. I love that name, though. I've always been "that girl" who goes to a party. I've always been "that girl" who has been the life of the party. And I've always had this classy, unique way about myself, so that everyone wants to be around me. Because no matter who is around me while I'm attending an event, no matter if it's a party with friends or with my family, I'm always "that girl" who is just making sure that everybody has a good time, that everyone has a great experience. Chloé: Would you say that two of your greatest assets would be your ability to communicate and your skill at building rapport? Laway: Definitely. I've always been this way. My abilities to communicate and to build rapport were elevated through my background and experience in sales from my corporate experiences. To be able to communicate and speak with customers, and to sell products to people all over the world provided me with the opportunity to expand personally and in my business. Chloé: I love how you have leveraged your corporate experience—especially your ability to sell—along with your passion, gifts and skills to live your best life.

Laway: I do have a great deal of experience in the sales industry. I sold a lot of things. My last job was business-to-business sales. I sold IT equipment to different businesses across the US. So that gave me great opportunities to be able to communicate with Fortune 500 companies down to your mom-and-pop small businesses selling IT equipment to those industries. Chloé: What can you share with other sweet badass entrepreneurs who possess different traits? Maybe they're a phenomenon on stage; or they're great at writing and being a best-selling author; or perhaps there's a psychologist who wants to pivot; or a woman who wants to shift from teaching or corporate America to starting her own business. Laway: First and foremost, believe in yourself. If you have a desire within yourself and it's on your heart to do something, and if you're passionate about it, just go for it. And never give up. Number two is, be persistent. Know that your goals won't happen overnight. But the more persistent you are and the more you keep going at them, your dreams will come true. Chloé: I like that, Laway. In other words, you want us to stick with it. >

"If you're passionate about it, just go for it."

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from sales to savvy events. Laway: Yes, absolutely. You have to stick with it. And it's knowing that these are your dreams and your inspirations. Dreams do come true. It takes time and persistence. Don't give up. Often dreams don't happen overnight; so, we have to stick with it. The key is just being persistent. I don't care how long it takes. How many years it takes. if it’s your dream, and you’re passionate about it, and you're persistent, it will manifest. Dreams do come true. Chloé: What services do you offer through Laway Event Staffing? Laway: I provide event staffing to different venues and to different private parties all over the Metro Atlanta area—making sure that your parties and events flow smoothly. I provide bartenders, golf cart drivers, valet car drivers, party and event hosts. And we’ve just added a 360 photo booth that we're very excited to have—because a lot of guests love to experience this at parties and events. That's why we've recently added this to our company offerings. Laway Event Staffing takes the stress away, so that the host is able to enjoy the event. I take care of all the headaches, the worry, and the stress while the host or the company enjoys the event, and everyone has a luxury experience. Chloé: Does Laway Event Staffing provide luxury experiences or are these experiences everyday experiences? Laway: I believe in everyone and every relationship that I have— whether it's someone in the spotlight as a celebrity or if it's any person wanting to host a party. They can all experience a great event. I believe that any and every person I've come in contact with deserves to be treated like a VIP. So I make sure the experience is luxurious and memorable. <

@labeautyway

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THE AUDIT

image

power: the closet audit ALIGNING YOUR CLOTHING TO YOUR PERSONALITY, STYLE & GOALS. BY CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN

Darling, give yourself permission to step out of the pages of your journal and off the vision board into the life you’ve been working on and designing. Now that you know who you are, and what you want— your heart’s desires—you’ll want to align your image to your values and vision. In this way, you’ll be able to show up and fully hold your position as the new you. Not only do you have to deliver what you promise, you also must look the part. Start by doing a complete and thorough closet evaluation and audit. This may not be an easy task, but you’ve got to be bold and honest with yourself about certain clothes and items in your closet that no longer serve you based on the woman who has leveled up, the woman who's ready to play a bigger life game. OK, let’s open the space in our hearts and closets to receive more by letting go of certain items, pieces, and entire ensembles—to step into a new image and FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 80

new year.

Your wardrobe is part of your non-verbal communication. It speaks volumes. ORGANIZING YOUR CLOSET BRINGS CLARITY, GOOD ENERGY AND PEACE

Start your closet audit here: Take away all the clothing and accessories that you really dislike. Take away the pieces that you realized were mistakes the moment you left the store. Take away the gifts that you have never worn or used. Take away all other garments that you know you’ll never wear again. Take away all the clothes that are incongruent with your authentic fashion personality. Take away all the clothes that you absolutely adore but you know you will never fit into again. Take away all the clothes that have unflattering lines, patterns and colors. Take out all the clothes that are really outdated. Take out all your stained, torn, or irreparable clothing. Get rid of all abused, old, and run over shoes. Get rid of all old and damaged handbags and belts. Take out all your old coats. Audit and organize your jewelry. Audit and organize your lingerie. Then trash all stained, worn and unused items. Take away all the unnecessary junk—wire hangers, empty shoe and hat boxes, shopping bags, plastic, etc.

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It's amazing what a good tailor can do to make an old jacket or dress look new again. Lifestyle Grouping To-Do List :

You get the picture. Now list and record everything

Separate what’s left of your wardrobe into a pile for

that you have in each category. This includes

each area of your life: work, sports, evening, lounging,

clothing, shoes, coats, lingerie, and accessories.

gardening, etc. This will depend on your lifestyle. Some pieces will probably overlap.

Measure how you stack up in each category. This list will give you your foundation—your core wardrobe.

Try on every piece for proper fit. Then ask yourself, “Why did I keep this piece? Does it feel good on? Does

Now you’re ready to create new outfits from clothes

it make me feel good? Does it look fabulous on me?"

that you already have and really like.

If you still love it, keep it. If it needs tweaking, have it altered. If you don’t like it, donate it.

Stepping into your closet right after your audit might seem a little scary at first, but don’t be

Modernize your older, fabulous pieces by tweaking

discouraged. Even if you’re on a tight budget,

through alterations by:

you’ll be able to build a fabulously stylish

adjusting the hem removing the collar changing the shape changing the belt removing or adding shoulder pads changing the buttons

wardrobe designed around it, your body shape, your fashion personality type, and your lifestyle— in about two to three short seasons. If you plan on looking consistently great, then it’s a good idea to build a special relationship with an alterations specialist and a proper dry cleaner to take care of all of your special fashion needs.

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LET'S SHOP

ready to shop ALIGN YOUR WARDROBE AND PERSONA TO YOUR NEW VISION Now, when you are ready to incorporate new, exciting pieces into your existing wardrobe you’ll have a well-thought-out plan. Instead of feeling like an impossible chore, your shopping experience can be exhilarating and rewarding—you’ll know exactly what you’re looking for, and you’ll save money and spend less time by not going to stores that don’t have the type of clothing and fashion that fits into your fashion personality type.

Refer to the list you made during your closet audit. Go through the list again and decide what it is that you’d like to buy to complete or add to your wardrobe. Set your budget. You don’t need more money or more time to look consistently great—you need style. @ChloeTaylorBrown @ChloeTaylorBrown FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 83

CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN TALKS WITH

Joanne West MITIGATING RISK AT WORK & IN LIFE

It was quite refreshing to meet Joanne West at one of our favorite beautification spots, Tasha Shannon's hair salon in Metro Atlanta— where I have met some "pretty" amazing professional women from diverse backgrounds. The stories there are colorful and beautifully inspiring. And, of course, you're going to get some fun girly gossip as well. It seems to have become a non-judgmental zone for many of us, a place where we can just be ourselves. I mean, we are kind of exposed anyway, right? With our hair situations for all to see at the salon. I had been there for a while when Joanne West walked in with a smile that revealed all her beautiful teeth, and there was something about her aura, her energy, and the way she moved. Being the curious type, my ears perked up. "Aww," I said to myself, "she's beautiful, confident, and easy-going." Tasha asked her where she was going after getting her hair styled. She was giddy with joy when she said she was celebrating turning fifty, and becoming a Vice President at her company. Oh, my goodness. If we had had some champagne we would’ve popped the cork right there. We all did what seems so natural: We clapped for her. Indeed, we did. We clapped for Joanne West, and here's why: Joanne knows how to be celebrated. She knows how to celebrate herself. She can go through tough times and come out better than good. I was excited to start in with my questions.

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Chloé: What was your promotion? What type of work do you do? >

Joanne: I've just been promoted from Director of Risk and Controls for an international payments processor, where I provide strategic risk reviews and stakeholder remediation guidance to the Vice President of Compliance and Controls at a mid-sized Financial Services firm. My responsibilities include identifying control gaps through assessment activities; as well as driving financial, operational, regulatory and technology issue management. I'm a Certified Financial Services Auditor, responsible for ongoing monitoring oversight, to ensure sustained compliance with regulatory requirements.

After Spelman, I worked my way through graduate school as a paralegal at a law firm that specialized in regulatory compliance. And my job at the law firm was to do that same kind of comparison, looking at what's supposed to happen. The regulation, the compliance requirement, and reconciling that with actual practices to determine alignment.

Chloé: That sounds like a big life game to play. Something of which I know nothing about but I'm curious to know more. Where did you go to college?

Joanne: Yes, banks, broadly speaking, and very specific to a career goal. But again, when I think about my dreams and when I came to Spelman and what I really wanted to do, I had no idea what I really wanted to do. I just knew I was really interested in that area. For instance, something would happen on the news. Or I would hear a headline about some banking failure, or I would hear something on the news that indicated that things didn't work the way they were supposed to work. And that just sort of led me, with the curiosity that I always had. I would hear these financial numbers, or I'd hear this or that headline, and what came to me is, "How do we know that it's working the way it should? What's the standard for that?" It was that kind of thing. And it is that kind of curiosity that sort of took me on this path to get to where I am today. >

Joanne: I went to Spelman College, a private, historically Black, women's liberal arts college in Atlanta. At the time I didn't know a whole lot about Financial Services. I think the extent of my knowledge was pretty much limited to asking my dad to put money in my bank account. But I've always been interested in comparing the actual to expected. Looking at the benchmark. Whether it's a regulation or a compliance requirement or goal, I look at what's supposed to happen and compare that to what's actually happening, to determine alignment. I've always been curious in knowing how we get comfortable so that things are working as they should. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 85

Chloé: When you're speaking of compliance and regulations, are you talking about currency and banks? Or institutions and things of that matter?

Chloé: What would be a headline today that would pique your curiosity and make you want to go deeper to get to the bottom of it? Because that's what you're doing, right—getting to the bottom of something? Joanne: Yes, absolutely. For instance, I think about the headline with the Travis Scott concert in Houston, Texas, which is so unfortunate. My goodness, there is a concert. There's lots of excited concert-goers. And then this event happens, and then it ends tragically. And so, in my mind, I go to what was supposed to happen. If we have this many people, there is a risk that something unfortunate might happen. So, what was supposed to be the control in place to mitigate the risk that it would happen? In other words, how could we have prevented this bad event from happening? That would be an example. If there is a concert of this sort and it will be this many people, how do we ensure that if someone is not feeling well, if someone needs emergency medical attention, what kinds of things do we need to have in place— to address that need? Chloé: Once you discover something like that, what's the next step after your discoveries? Joanne: With the concert example, we know we're going to have this many people. If we have this many people, there is a risk. A risk is that someone will require medical attention. When we think about risk, we think about what could go wrong and how much that could potentially cost us. When I talk about risk, I'm thinking about a bad thing happening and obviously a cost associated with it if that bad thing does happen. It will receive negative headlines and lots of people will find out about it. This means attorneys will be on the scene and there will be lawsuits and bad PR. Then we go to quantifying. Well, how much could this cost? A lawsuit could be in the multimillion-dollar amount. Right. And then there could be multiple lawsuits because there are lots of people there. So, when you quantify how much it could cost us if this bad thing happens, it sets up a path to say, "OK, let's prevent this cost by having these measures in place to prevent that bad thing from happening and incurring this cost."

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Chloé: Thank you so much for explaining this to me, and to the readers, because now I understand why you must go in, do all this research to ask all these questions, and get back to what your point was—and that is to mitigate risk, right? Joanne: Yes. That's it. When we think about risk, people sort of throw that term around. There's a bad thing that's associated with the risk, right? Health can be compromised, there can be a fatal event, that's terrible in and of itself. But when we quantify that and put a dollar figure on the lawsuits—the potential loss of revenue, loss of income from that PR—it gets real. Imagine the number of concerts that have gotten cancelled. How do we quantify that value? It helps to put things in perspective and really make the case for putting in preventative measures so that the bad thing doesn't happen. Chloé: Did you acquire this information and knowledge at the law firm you worked for in graduate school? Joanne: Yes, I did. But Spelman College also prepared me with a nice introduction. So, while I was at Spelman, my focus area was state and federal regulations, which is a very exciting topic—not. Very few people get excited about a state or a federal regulation. But when you think about the risk of >

Joanne, continued: you not meeting that regulatory requirement, then it goes to a bad thing. There's bad PR, and there's also a financial component. How much will the fines and penalties be? And if we get this fine, how will that impact our revenue numbers? So, Spelman gave me insight into what the federal and state requirements are—the kinds of things you need to be thinking about. And I think I was able to build on that as I worked at the law firm, because I was able to look at the federal and state requirements of specific things, to look at what we were doing. Are we aligned? Not quite well. Then what's the penalty? What's the risk? What's the bad thing that could happen. And how much might that cost us? Chloé: This is intriguing. I’m learning a lot, and can also spot that you're an excellent teacher, facilitator, and coach because you seem to love sharing what you know to help someone like myself, and even people who already know. Let’s fast forward. You were working your way through graduate school at Emory University where you were discovering yourself. What happened after grad school? Joanne: I was recruited from graduate school to join one of the Big Four to do the same kind of evaluations. The Big Four are Deloitte, Anderson, PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC), and Klynveld Peat Marwick Goerdeler (KPMG). So, what's the actual to expected? Where are the risk gaps? What controls do we need to have in place to close those risk gaps? And to be clear, when we say risk gap, it means that there is a risk that we don't have a control for. We don't have preventative in place or detective measures to figure out when we have exposure to the bad things happening, ultimately giving us exposure to financial risk where we might lose money. There might be a penalty. There might be a lawsuit, et cetera. Chloé: You have had a long run in your career. Let's fast forward from graduate school, to entering your professional career as a young woman, to five or six years ago, and bring us up to where you are now, Joanne. Joanne: I went on to take an Internal Audit role, and got credentialed as a Certified Financial Services Auditor, which really dug deeper into the same expected-versus-actual comparisons. But what it really did is, it honed my skills. So, I not only understood the unique financial, operational, regulatory and technology risk associated with financial services (because that was my area of focus)

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but I also understood concepts such as control, design, adequacy, and operational effectiveness to mitigate unique risk associated with financial services. So, what that really means, Chloé, is that I really sharpened my skills and understood much more. Not about just what kind of preventative controls need to be put in place, but how to design a proper preventative control. Like what are the components that must be in place to achieve the intended outcome? Chloé: You are celebrating becoming Vice President of Compliance and Controls at a midsized Financial Services firm, and you have huge responsibilities—including identifying control gaps through assessment activities, and driving financial, operational, regulatory and technology issue management. You're responsible for the ongoing monitoring of oversight to ensure sustained compliance with regulatory requirements. So, how did you get to be Vice President at your company? Joanne: This is a story I absolutely love telling. I started as an internal Staff Auditor. I had had a baby. I had spent some time at home, and I was slowly transitioning back to work as a Staff Auditor. My child was school-aged, so when she was ready, I came back full-time. There was an opening from a Staff Auditor to a Manager—an opportunity for me to take on the Manager role. >

Joanne, continued: And so I took it—at the same company that I started with part-time as a Staff Auditor. What was unique about that experience is that it was a risk-based shop, which means that even though it's internal audit, they only did audit evaluation based on risk. So, if the risk of an activity was high, that's what you audited. They didn't do the same audit every year. We had to stay close to how the business was operating. And as they launched new products or expanded their footprint into a different geography, we had to stay close to the activity and think through all the processes involved, and then audit the thing with the highest risk to be sure we had the right preventative and detective controls in place to mitigate the risk.

second, there are four thousand transactions. Imagine! Every second, four thousand transactions are coming through, and that's the response time to give a decision to the merchant as to whether to approve a transaction or not. It's milliseconds, right? It's fast. The technology is amazing. And part of the role as an internal auditor is to understand all of that, understand how it's supposed to work, and understand the things that could go wrong. We can ensure that we have the right things in place, the right controls in place to prevent the things from going wrong. And if something does go wrong, well, we know fast enough to correct it. And to let the consumer know that something went wrong. But we correct it.

A recruiter contacted me after I was at that firm for a couple of years, and told me that there was an opportunity at a large payment firm, and asked me to come over to their shop. I came over as an Internal Audit Manager, and learned all about the business. I learned all about payments processing. When we say Financial Services, there's an insurance side, there's a banking side, and then there's a payment side. I went from the insurance part of Financial Services to the banking and payment side. When we say the payment side, to be clear, this is the part of Financial Services that most people are familiar with.

Chloé: This reminds me that my business account was compromised several months ago, but I was contacted immediately by my bank before I even realized what was going on.

When you swipe your credit or debit card, you get an "accepted" or "declined" message. Right? The payments firm is responsible for all the activity in the background to deliver that decision—of "accepted" versus "decline." So, money goes from your account to the merchant's account, all of that. And as you can imagine, it's heavily regulated. Lots of things can go wrong when we swipe a card or pay with our phone. Chloé: I'm fascinated about what you're sharing, Joanne. I'm getting quick visuals as I'm seeing the swipe and the communication between all the moving numbers and computers. This is not just an interview, it's an education. Joanne: This is good. That's why I said, I love telling this story. I'm passionate about this. Before I joined the payments firm, I can't tell you that I thought a whole lot about what happens when you swipe or insert your debit or credit card. It wasn't until I joined the firm that I really understood how all of that worked. And just to give you some sense of how large the firm is and how many transactions are processed: Every FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 88

Joanne: Yes. A strong control environment will red-flag transactions that are outside of your profile. So, if, for example, you typically shop at the grocery store, the hair salon, your favorite department store—places like that—but then suddenly you're buying a diamond ring, then that's going to be a red flag. And if the control is operating properly, they're going to call you or put a freeze on the card. They're going to send you a notice and say, "Hey, we noticed this transaction that's outside of your profile. Let us know if this is you. If it's not you, we're going to go ahead and block your card because this is an indication that there is a risk that something bad is happening." Chloé: Joanne, congratulations on being promoted to Vice President in a major international payment processing firm which processes forty-five percent of all global economic activity. You are phenomenal. How have you been able to steadily level up in your career while also being a wife, mom, and friend to many? Not only that, you have gone though breast cancer and survived, and you are thriving and flourishing! Joanne: Well, it's interesting that you would say that. Maya Angelou said the same thing. She said, "I don't want to just survive this thing. I want to thrive. I want to do it with some style. I want to be my authentic self and live my very best life." And I subscribe to that. Yes, I really do. >

Joanne, continued: So, like one in every eight women, I got a breast-cancer diagnosis. It was difficult. But I have a daughter. And I knew she was watching me as I navigated this. And what I wanted her to know is, yes, things can happen. But by the grace of God, we are given the strength to do what the doctors say and keep moving. Know that this is not a period in your life. It's a comma. And you move on. You keep going. If you have the wherewithal to continue to work, to continue to live your best life, you absolutely do that. Because life is a gift. And we never want to reduce ourselves to merely surviving and just making it through. We want to do our best to live the very best versions of ourselves. So, notwithstanding those things, right? It's not a period. It's a comma. We continue, we move on. We do the treatment. We're bald and we're fabulous. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 89

My husband and I were twinsies with our bald heads. You put on make-up and maybe some lashes and some lipstick, and you keep moving. That's exactly what you do. Because that's the best version of yourself. Chloé: How old was your daughter at the time? Joanne: My daughter was fifteen at the time, and that was three years ago. And I'm now three years cancer-free. Chloé: Congratulations. Joanne: Thank you.

CHEMOTHERAPY NOT ONLY TAKES OUT YOUR HAIR, IT'S ALSO LIKE A SLEEPING POTION. Chloé: And you're so vibrant, beautiful, and optimistic, with a beautiful bright glow in your face. Joanne: How kind. I appreciate you saying that. I really do believe that life is a gift. And I think the more that we embrace it and continue moving, the bigger blessing we are to others. Not just to my daughter, but to all the team members I've trained since then—the younger staff members, the people we've been able to hire, and people who know my story. All of that is important. Chloé: I've heard that when you're going through cancer, you don't have a lot of energy. How were you able to carry on with your family and with work to be where you are now? How were you able to energize yourself? Joanne: I will tell you, chemotherapy not only takes out your hair, it's also like a sleeping potion. You do sleep. So, I would have chemotherapy. And then I would sleep for two or three days. Then I would take my vitamin B-6 or B-12, and get back to it. I mean, it's just as simple as that. And the more you exercise, the more you will move toward the best version of yourself. I really do believe that the best is yet to come. I am moving toward my best life. I think this mentality helps drive you to have more energy, to take the vitamin B-6. Drink that cup of coffee and let's make it happen. Chloé: Let's rock and roll, Girl! Since you have gone through some things and come through very beautifully, what are a few words of wisdom you would like to share with another woman, personally and professionally, who needs encouragement and inspiration? >

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Everything has a purpose. Joanne: The first thing is: You're not a victim. You're a victor. I'll say it again. You are a victor. Receive that in your spirit. You are moving toward the best version of yourself. This stumbling block—whatever it is—is a steppingstone to take you where you need to be. Things happen in life that we have no explanation for. We don't understand it. But in retrospect, it makes sense. Everything has a purpose. And on the other side, there is victory. So, know that you're moving toward the best version of yourself. This is not a period. It is a comma. That's the first thing.

WORDS OF WISDOM The second thing is this: In corporate America, which is a unique animal in and of itself—finding mentors is helpful. Find those folks in the organization who believe in your talent and have thirty minutes to an hour, perhaps once a month, or maybe once a quarter, for you to check in with. That can be a great resource. It can also be beneficial to attend seminars and other peer group organizations to give you exposure to what other people are doing. I think part of it is being exposed to other areas that are similar to yours, but not exactly. This helps you to expand your horizons. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 91

JOANNE'S GOLDEN NUGGET

Chloé: Thank you for those words of wisdom. What "golden nugget" would you like to leave with all of us to put it in our toolbox—so we can be the best version of ourselves? Joanne: I would say this: Reject, rebuke, and be aggressive about resisting the urge to compare. Do not compare yourself to anyone else. You are working toward the best version of you. You have been blessed with unique talents and gifts. Your path is different from everyone else's. So, resist with all your energy, the urge to be comparing yourself to other people, because it's not a productive use of your time or energy. <

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Before creating anything wonderful in our life, it must be conceived and finished in our beautiful mind first—in our imagination. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | WINTER 2022 | 93

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As I spoke I noticed Justin wasn’t sitting in the library with them. “Where is Justin?” I asked nonchalantly, expecting Rick or Taylor to say, “He’s over there,” or “He’s in here.” Instead Rick replied, “I don’t know.” Casually I strolled out of the library, leaving Taylor and Rick watching the game while I looked for Justin. I walked through the large family room looking from side to side calling, “Justin? Where are you, Justin?” He didn’t answer. I continued into the kitchen, calling his name. There was no answer. I turned around in the kitchen and went to the back stairs and called up to his room, pausing, waiting for him to answer. Still, there was no answer. I walked back to the kitchen and out the back door. Standing on the high deck I looked straight out to the play area to see if he was swinging. Justin loved to swing, but he wasn’t there either. I glanced to my right to see if he was riding his Big Wheel. It was there, but he wasn’t on it. I walked to the edge of the deck and looked down. There he was. Justin was facedown, floating in the pool. My worst nightmare had just begun. Without thinking, I ran from the deck, pulling one shoe off, then the other. I had on blue jeans and a tee shirt. It didn’t matter, nothing did except saving my baby. I dove into the pool, pulling Justin out seconds later. Running with him in my arms, I screamed over and over, “Rick! Rick! Rick! Rick!” although it seemed no sound was coming out of my mouth. I stopped running. I needed to do something.

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I placed Justin on the ground and slapped his little

They wouldn’t let us go into the room where they

face. He looked sweet and peaceful. He didn’t respond.

had taken our baby boy; instead, a nurse led us to a

As I began giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation,

small room that wasn’t a waiting room. It was

a milky-white foam started to ooze out of his mouth

sterile and cold, with lots of stainless steel. This

and nose, but still there was no response.

small room was only two doors down from where they worked on Justin, but it seemed as though it

By now my voice had registered to Rick and Taylor.

was in another building. A nice young man came

They ran out of the kitchen door onto the deck. As I

in to give us what little information he had about

was bent down on my knees over Justin’s limp body, I

Justin. He told us the doctors were doing

looked up at Rick. He was standing there, looking

everything they could right now. “When you

down at me, screaming, in slow motion it seemed.

brought your son in, he didn’t have a heartbeat.”

“Nooo! Baby. Nooo!”

My own heart seemed to stop.

He and Taylor ran down the steps and into the fenced

Rick and I grabbed each other and held on. “They

pool area. I picked Justin up again and ran toward the

got a heartbeat, but they lost it.” My heart stopped

house. Rick sprinted past me to call 911 but left the

again. I could barely breathe. Rick and I had been

phone hanging from the receiver when I yelled, “We

very quiet up until now, but now we held onto

don’t have time! We’ve got to go right now.”

each other and Taylor as we cried and waited for the young man to come back with more

It took us six minutes to get to the Children’s Hospital

information. Yes, we waited, and hoped, for good

in our neighborhood. Before the car was stopped

news about Justin.

completely, I jumped out. Rick followed me, only putting the car in park, with Taylor following after him. As I rushed into the front door of the emergency room, the nurses and attendants immediately took Justin out of my arms. “What happened?” they begged, running down the corridor with him. Horrified, we ran behind them crying. “He fell into the pool!”

This is an excerpt from I Can Laugh Again: From the Valley of Grief to A Glimpse of Heaven a memoir by Chloé Taylor Brown

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Encouraging Young Couples You may have gone though a terrible storm. Your heart may have been broken, but still, there is hope. You are strong, powerful and creative. When you feel the slightest sparkle within your spirit, allow it to be. Pay attention, and follow the prompts. Know that you are not alone. Life is constantly shifting and changing. You can regenerate your energy and change your whole life. Hold on to that sparkle and keep it going. You will shine, thrive & flourish. <

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FALLING DOWN AND GETTING UP, 1 GS N E W B E G I2 N 0N2I N IN 2022 IS ALL WE WANNA HEAR ABOUT Happy New Year, Beautiful People! My mantra for 2022 is "The best time for new beginnings is now"...and you better believe it! Change is always good. And it's time to take that step. The new year marks a new beginning—new people to meet, new adventures to enjoy and new memories to create. I pray that you and your family are well and that you had a wonderful holiday season. May this year only bring happiness and joy into your lives. Remember: It's not the length of life, but the depth of life that matters. Let's flourish together. Stay safe and be well. Until next issue! Best wishes,

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