JAN/FEB 2023
ISSUE 1 VOLUME 4
NEW VISIONS FROM A MAN OF RESILIENCE
a video conversation with Chloé Taylor Brown & friends We're Clapping for
"God's Eyes Were Watching Us"
Lakeisha Robichaux
JANIS HUNT JOHNSON
Charmaine Wright Orr
EXECUTIVE LEADERSHIP & TEAM BUILDING PROGRAMS
CORPORATE
SAVVY
INCLUDING VERBAL & NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION
Real, reliable, transformative and fun. Facilitated by Chloé Taylor Brown
HELPING TEAMS ALIGN AND LEVEL UP SINCE 2001 WWW.CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM
2023! Know that your ability to flourish in this new year lies within your own imagination. Visualize your heart's desires and start leveling up to your wildest dreams.
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51 12
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Aligning Vision, Entrepreneurship & Style
Charmaine Wright Orr shares how pursuit of the truth brings freedom: a conversation with Chloé Taylor Brown
NEW VISIONS
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Tiran Jackson, a man of remarkable resilience, inspires us all
MEDIA ICON | PAT MITCHELL
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Honored at the 2023 International Saprea Gala for a lifetime of improving women's lives
COOL, CALM & CREATIVE | FRANK CARLISI
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Leaning into pop culture to create culture: Karen Gamba finds out how he does it
the evolution of fire
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We're clapping for AMBER COLLINS-BROWN
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Shandraya Asante tells Paula G. Voice what happened when she made up her mind to have a peaceful life
Chloé Taylor Brown talks with a remarkable millennial
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SIMPLE SKINCARE by Chloé Taylor Brown
Hey, Mamas! Let’s take a different spin on New Year’s by Elena Taylor-Bagger
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50 14 30
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thE STUFF OF POSSIBILITY by Laurie Renfro
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HOW DO I BECOME A HOMEMAKER IF I'M A PRINCESS at HEART?
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SAGACITY SPEAKS!
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REFRESH YOUR SPIRIT
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This year, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR VALENTINE'S DAY
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inner peace in 2023
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INTENTIONAL TALK
by Victoria Moore-Miller
by Paula G. Voice
by Donella Cranford
by Janis Hunt Johnson
by Amber Krystal
A video conversation between Mambwe Janet Kamanga, Chloé Taylor Brown & Laurie Renfro
4 steps to managing risk in your portfolio by Daniel Evans |Evans & Company
it's business, darling! Chloé Taylor Brown talks entrepreneurship with Lakeisha Robichaux
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Editor's Note TAKE TIME TO CARE ABOUT YOUR
SPIRIT Editor-in-Chief chloe@flourishdigitalmagazine.com
CHLOÉ
TAYLOR BROWN
Many people think of fresh starts, new beginnings, and do-overs as something that takes place after something else that wasn't so desirable has happened. That's not actually real, however. In fact, this year at Flourish Digital Magazine, we're reframing those narratives—and here's why. When we understand and accept that nothing stays the same forever, we can get out ahead of situations, upsets and even paradigm crashes—through therapy, counseling, coaching, and mentoring, as well as finding spiritual groups, discovering new hobbies and skills, and even revisiting things we used to love but for various reasons let go. How about some personal development? It's not too late. Sometimes, it's really tough—as you will see when you read Tiran Jackson's story. As horrific and devastating as it was, with support, hope, determination, and a newly discovered purpose, he has found opportunities to choose and create a wonderful new set-up for his life. No matter what, let's work on being more present and self-aware to look for new opportunities—based on our passions, purpose and heart's desires. This new year is about taking the time to care enough about our own spirit—by being still, listening, envisioning, visualizing and feeling deeply, to realize our heart's desires. This issue is filled with amazing editorial lifestyle stories of life, love, business, and triumphs of spirit that encourage us to be intentional about our true desires in all areas of our life this year. Why? Because it's time to wake up to consciousness, to know who we are. It's time to play life with confidence and joy. Let's make 2023 a phenomenal year as we flourish together!
@flourishdigitalmagazine @chloetaylorbrown @chloetaylorbrown
Chloé Taylor Brown
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 6
<
THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT. DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
THE STUFF OF
Possibility
“It hasn’t always been that way,” my oldest daughter began. “The first calendar was based on the lunar year, with the new year starting in March, when we enter the vernal equinox.” I love it when I learn new things from my children—when we switch places and they become the teacher. I should have known the daughter schooling me on the history of the calendar would become an astrology aficionado. Call it a stretch, but, when she was only four, she became obsessed with the Karl Lagerfeld perfume, Sun Moon Stars. It wasn’t the actual fragrance that captured her attention (although she begged to be spritzed on the regular). Instead, it was the rounded blue bottle with a sun, moon and stars relief covering its face.
There it was: the whole world in her hands. She would hold it lovingly and gaze, transfixed, into the crystalline galaxy. Sometimes, I’d catch her spinning in circles, with the emblematic atomizer raised to the light. I could nearly see what I imagined she saw: celestial elements being flung into space. My closest cousin was the owner of this object of my daughter’s affection, and, we both took to using “Sun Moon and Stars” discretely and interchangeably, with the child’s name. “Sun Moon and Stars wants a snack,” I’d say, for example. “Sun Moon and Stars is ready for bed,” my cousin might advise. My calendar lesson, that day, began as I talked to my daughter about Seasonal Affective Disorder. Consistent with its acronym, SAD is a form of depression that returns year after year, at the same time of year—most often its onset happens in late fall, when days become noticeably darker and shorter.
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I have struggled with symptoms of SAD since I was a child but only fairly recently learned that it is a bona fide disorder. I was musing about the futility of making New Year’s resolutions in the middle of SAD— about how difficult it is to come up with goals when you’re depressed, and how unrealistic it is to try to load up new undertakings when all you really want to do is lie in bed.
We called her Sun Moon and Stars. My daughter empathized—and pointed to the astrological New Year as a better time for resolutions. “We wake from Winter slumber when it starts to warm up,” she explained. “Like plants and animals do. And people are primed for new growth in Springtime because we’re not different. We are part of the natural world too.” I have taken this planetary perspective under serious consideration and opened myself to the science of astrology. And please know, this is a complete turnabout for me. Before my daughter became my astrology teacher, and, even though I’d long considered myself spiritual rather than religious, I was locked in by an early Christian education, from which I gathered that lending credibility to the zodiac was, pretty much, worshipping a false god. Never mind that Earth-centered religions predate Christianity by thousands of years. My own intellectual capacity and scientific curiosity had been insufficient to dismantle this limiting belief. >
Ultimately, it was a growing humility—an increased ability to set ego aside—that freed me. No longer hostage to the unconscious assumption that I know, and will always know, more than my children, I was finally able to acknowledge the tenuous nature of the belief that prevented me from hearing what my daughter had been offering for years. Aside from the challenges of SAD, I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions in general. Too often they seem a set-up for disappointment and self-reproach. But, no matter the time of year, I can always get with resolve for profound humility. This practice has empowered me to stand in my agency without the pressure of always having to know, to be right, to be sure. The bottom line is, we only know what we know when we know it. And, we can’t know what we will know in the future. Old or young, parent or child, this is the human condition. We can, however, grease the wheels of life with humility. Humility opens the heart and mind and makes it easier to consider things beyond what we’ve been taught, beyond what was previously thought possible. There are creative and imagined arenas we might find more compelling, timely or aligned with who we are in each ever-changing moment of time. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, I prefer year-round allowing—a concept I encountered in The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer. In this New York Times best seller, Singer explains how abandoning his typical strategy of striving for success, in exchange for "allowing," put him in a position to receive unimaginable “gifts from the universe.” Singer began to notice these “gifts” after several undesired events led to fortunate outcomes. He decided to be intentional about welcoming asks from the universe without regard for his personal comfort, familiarity or preferences. From this submissive posture, Singer now chooses life as it comes, and then watches the process of unfolding purpose. For example, Singer had no intention of starting a business—let alone a multimilliondollar company—when he encountered an early version of the home computer in a Florida Radio Shack.
Having abandoned a nearly complete course of doctoral studies in search of inner peace, Singer was singularly immersed in a life of yogic meditation.
But he paid attention to the tug on his soul—and allowed—when, despite the financial sacrifice, he was led to purchase the strange machine. This single act of allowing led to the founding of Medical Manager, one of the first medical software companies, and a considerable stake in today’s WebMD. I have no expectation that my own allowing will lead to fortune. It could, but I don’t expect it. What I do expect is that allowing will yield increased measures of peace, joy and love— and I’m already seeing results. This time around, I’m enjoying the Winter that will give birth to Spring. Warmed and excited by people and things I’ve allowed into my life, SAD has not gotten the best of me. Upon the recommendation of my “Sun Moon and Stars,” I use the CHANI astrology app to keep up with planetary effects on my mood. And now I pay attention to my children’s zodiac signs, because seeing them more fully makes me a better mother and friend. Ask William Sanford Nye—popularly known as "Bill Nye, The Science Guy"—or astrophysicist, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Whether earthly or heavenly, we all are made of the same stuff: the stuff of possibility, the elements of unlimited potential. <
LAURIE RENFRO is a writer and spiritual seeker with a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology from Sofia University in Palo Alto, California (formerly the Institute for Transpersonal Psychology).
@routineinterrupted Laurie Renfro
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Charmaine
Aligning Vision, Style & Entrepreneurship
For as long as I can remember, I have been groomed to see entrepreneurship as the key to empowerment, and because of this, I have been on a lifetime pursuit to prove that economic independence through business ownership is the pathway to freedom for the African American family and community.
A CONVERSATION WITH CHARMAINE WRIGHT ORR by Chloé Taylor Brown
>
READ MORE ON PAGE 18
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TIRAN JACKSON by Chloé Taylor Brown
NEW VISIONS
A man's resilience is his ability to withstand adversity, to recover quickly from misfortune, to adjust easily to change when terrible things happen in his life. His resilience means he has the ability to laugh easily, to be genuinely happy again while achieving success moving forward. When you meet Tiran Jackson, you will know immediately that he is indeed, a real man of resilience. In June 2018, Tiran’s life crashed in what seemed like the blink of an eye while he and his beautiful wife, Maleka, were vacationing in the Bahamas, celebrating fifteen years of marriage. > READ MORE ON PAGE 37
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Pat Mitchell with the Head of TED Conferences, Monique Ruff-Bell, speaking at a press conference announcing the new Atlanta home of TEDWomen for 2023–2025
Honored at the 2023 INTERNATIONAL SAPREA GALA at Atlanta Braves Stadium Raised in a small town in southern Georgia with no money or connections, Pat Mitchell challenged expectations to become one of media’s most admired leaders: the first woman president of CNN Productions and of PBS, an award-winning film and TV producer, and the co-founder and curator of TEDWomen. Pat Mitchell started her professional journey as an English instructor at the University of Georgia and at Virginia Commonwealth University. An innate curiosity and the need to feel challenged led her to accept a position as a writer/researcher for the popular newsweekly, Look magazine. Only nine months later, Look stopped publishing, and Mitchell, an unemployed single mother living in New York City with her young son, was advised to "try television." Over the next three decades, she created a body of award-winning work in front of the camera as a news reporter and news anchor, a national talk show host and a White House correspondent. She also worked behind the camera as a creator and producer of documentaries and series—many of which focused on women’s stories, challenges and accomplishments. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 12
In the mid-1980s, she left a secure position at NBC to establish an independent production company to create, produce and host the groundbreaking and Emmy award–winning daytime series, Woman to Woman, which was the first national program produced and hosted by a woman. Woman to Woman also became the first television series to be added to the Schlesinger Library on the History of Women at Radcliffe College. In 1992, Mitchell approached media entrepreneur Ted Turner about producing a documentary series on the history of women in America. The resulting ten-hour series, A Century of Women, was broadcast in 1993 on the Turner cable networks and syndicated around the world. Turner convinced Mitchell to join Turner Broadcasting, and as president of Turner Original Productions and later of CNN Productions, Mitchell was the executive producer of hundreds of hours of documentaries and specials, many of which were awarded Emmy and Peabody Awards for excellence; several were nominated for Academy Awards for best documentary. > READ MORE ON PAGE 59
Dare To Dream! If you did not have the capability to make your wildest wishes come true, your mind would not have the capacity to conjure such ideas in the first place. There is no limitation on what you can potentially achieve, except for the limitation you choose to impose on your own imagination. What you believe to be possible will always come to pass—to the extent that you deem it possible. It really is as simple as that.
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—ANTHON ST. MAARTEN, AUTHOR OF DIVINE LIVING
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Just the other day, my aspiration to make breakfast for myself before work was abruptly interrupted when I saw that I would have to clean the pan I needed to scramble the eggs! I was so prepared to have a productive start to my day, I had been thinking while in my shower about the yummy ham, eggs and croissant I was going to enjoy that morning. I fully prepared myself for the work I would have to do—but the one thing I wasn’t prepared to do was clean that skillet. It was just too much for me to handle. Not at 8:15 AM. I stared listlessly at the pan before giving up and deciding to get breakfast at work. This is usually how my interactions with the kitchen go. I build up my confidence—until the dirty dishes to break it down immediately. I’m at a loss for how people do it. We have to work five days a week, cook for five days a week, and clean those pans and dishes before and after using them? I’m sorry—but I’m not convinced the human body is made to do that much work. At some point you just have to cut your losses and get some takeout. I want to live life like I’m a princess, you know? I’m not the best candidate for the princess role, I’ll admit. I do work a full-time job. And it’s not like I have a staff to wait after me. I do my own laundry, I clean the bathroom, I even take the trash out. I can do those things easily, but prepare my food for myself and others just so it can be consumed in five and a half minutes? I really can’t explain it, but cleaning the toilet makes me feel like less of a peasant than that. It's weird for me to feel that way. I know this. I’m the one who majored in Hospitality. I took culinary and restaurant classes. Who do you know who did that willingly and yet still can’t find an inkling of an incentive to make something out of their own volition? The thing is, the standard of cooking is too high in my family. What if I make something nasty? Unlikely, yet the fear keeps me at bay. As does the dirty skillet.
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I know not cooking isn’t the perfect solution. Sure, sometimes it takes me longer to figure out what I want to order than it would have taken to just clean the pan. But unfortunately it takes nothing for me to abandon every effort at putting together a meal. Even when I think back to my cooking days in college, I remember forgetting to buy one singular ingredient in a stir-fry recipe, or neglecting to have a specific cheese for my pasta. . .and I just. . .gave up. I was always insisting that the ingredient I forgot was too crucial for the dish for me to carry onward without it—letting the other produce go bad because I’d never picked up the “necessary” ingredient. I recall this happening more than once. Despite not having cooked a single dinner meal on my own since returning home from school six months ago, I haven’t completely lost faith that I’ll some day make dinner. There have been occasions where the kitchen was clean, and I maybe felt an inkling to do something. But then I don’t know. Maybe the timing wasn’t right. And there’s always next time, right? But if next time coincides with the next episode of The Real Housewives of Potomac, or even anything else, I can’t make any promises. <
Victoria Moore-McMiller is a recent college graduate and HR Recruitment Operations Analyst for Hilton Hotels.
VictoriaMooreMcMiller
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3. Make good solid decisions based on your heart's desires. 4. Be a fantastic verbal and non-verbal communicator of your thoughts and goals. 5. Learn to build rapport by respecting yourself and others. 6. Choose your friends wisely, and interact with them as your team. 7. Act like a lady and get ready for the real deal. It's near. 8. Set your goals based on your decisions, and make it happen. 9. Have certainty and faith in yourself and in your plans as you put it all together. 10. Command respect by being authentic and turning up your "it" factor. 11. Be ready. Your vision is expanding. 12. Do all of this and accomplish what you #DECIDED in Number 3. Enquire about booking a program at CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 17
Cont i nued f r om pag e 1 0 I t wa s by t e x t me s s a g e t ha t I wa s i nt r oduc e d t o Cha r ma i ne Wr i g ht Or r by a f or me r Ce l e br i t y - St y l e Br a ndi ng c l i e nt of mi ne , Br i dg e t t Ga g né . Cha r ma i ne a nd I e x c ha ng e d a f e w t e x t me s s a g e s be f or e I a s k e d i f s he woul d l i k e t o c onne c t vi a Z oom t he ne x t da y . " Ye s , pl e a s e , " s he r e pl i e d. " My c ur r e nt phot o i s c l e a r l y not me a s ur i ng up t o t he phot os a nd pe r s ona l br a ndi ng t ha t y ou di d wi t h Br i dg e t t i n he r da y wi t h y ou. I ne e d i ma g e a nd s t yl e he l p de s pe r a t e l y . " We c onne c t e d a c oupl e mor e t i me s a f t e r t ha t f i r s t c onve r s a t i on t o di s c us s he r g oa l s —he r i ma g e , s t yl e , s i z e s , c ol or s , t i me l i ne, a nd a f e w ot he r de t a i l s . Cha r ma i ne s a i d wi t h a g r i n, " I wa nt t o pop! " I a s s ur ed he r , " I ' ve g ot you, Gi r l . " Wi t hi n t wo we e k s s he wa s t r a ve l i ng t o At l a nt a f r om Te x a s t o s t a r t he r da y of Ce l e br i t y - St y l e Br a ndi ng wi t h me a nd my a ma z i ng c r e w.
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After working with Charmaine, helping to develop her new “digital look" and getting to know her, I wanted to engage in a deeper conversation, and share her story with Flourish Digital Magazine's readers. it wasn't until after her branding session that I learned from reading her bio that she had been a first lady—a preacher's wife and that’s where we began. “Charmaine, you’ve been holding out on me—you didn’t tell me you’ve been a first lady!" >
Chloé, I want to pop!
Charmaine: Yes! I was a preacher's wife for a time. God has a sense of humor. That's all I can say. You'll appreciate this, being in Atlanta. First off, I didn't grow up in the church, so I wasn't coming from that background. On my dad's side, I come from a line of preachers and first ladies. I didn't really know that growing up, but my dad was very against religion because of what he saw in my family. There was an integrity issue—between what he saw the men do under the auspices of being preachers, and then he saw his grandmother. That tainted things, and kept him away from any organized religion whatsoever. So, my parents really left it up to us to figure out our spirituality. They didn't prescribe anything. My mother would take us to church every now and then, but it was never forced. So, we didn't grow up every Sunday going to church or anything like that. I personally have always believed in God, so I've never been one to say God doesn't exist. But because I am super pro-Black, I went down another path. I took a different journey in my spirituality, which was not Christian. I have always been a follower of truth. And that's all I've ever wanted. I didn't care what you called it. I believed in God. And so, I had a prayer to God that just said, "Hey, I want truth. Whatever that looks like, I don't care what it is." When I moved to Atlanta, that blossomed. I was hanging out on the West End. I was at the shrine of the Black Madonna. I became a vegetarian. I was all up and down with the Hebrew Israelites. I was just all-in with this "discovery of truth" thing. I went on spiritual retreats out into the woods somewhere in South Carolina. I only wore African garb. I wanted to tap into African spirituality, so I was looking at Yoruba. Yes, I was doing the most. And at the time, Atlanta was a hot spot for big mega-churches, and I had actually gotten saved as a Christian before that when I was in Chicago. But I'm a truth seeker. That's all I wanted—and it's still all I want. I started to see that there was often a disparity between what Christians said FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 19
they believed and how they lived. And so I've always had a great desire to change the world. I've always thought of myself as a superhero type of person, saying, "I'm going to go out and I'm going to change the world." And I always wanted to be with groups of people who felt that way—with people who felt that they could really bring change into the world. In my estimation, after I got saved and everything, I saw that many Christians weren't doing that. How do you believe in God and in what you say and yet you're not practicing your faith? Chloé: Yes, there are people out there speaking and preaching Christianity and religion but not practicing their faith— not practicing what they preach.
I had a prayer to God that just said, 'Hey, I want truth.'
Charmaine: Exactly. So, when I was in Atlanta, I was doing small-business lending with the SBA—that was in the 1990s—and I was starting a whole new business. I was coming from doing leverage buyouts—when everybody was buying companies, flipping companies, and all that kind of stuff. I looked at that and I saw, "This is not helping my people. This is like flipping houses, and adding no value to anything." It was also around the same time the Million Man March was going on. So I decided to rebel. I cut off all my hair and wore a short afro—going into barber shops of Atlanta, hanging out on the West End. And through the business, I ended up meeting all of these people who were trying to finance their visions of businesses that they had. And since I was in this space, I convinced the >
Charmaine, continued: company that I was the person to go out there and service the underserved communities and businesses of Atlanta. I was running around doing all these deals, and one of my main guys was Greg Alexander. He owns Cascade Roller Skating rink. His first business had been on the opposite end of town, but he couldn't get financing for the Cascade business. So, I was like, "I got you." I put his deal together and was finally able to get financing for the Cascade location. He had this amazing vision of how he wanted it to be. Chloé: Is he still there, in that business and location? Charmaine: Yes. It has shown up in movies with T.I., the hip-hop artist and media mogul, and a few other movies since then. I was able to help all these people like him—people around the city— make their visions come true. Chloé: How did you learn to do this type of work, Charmaine?
Charmaine: I had an Accounting degree from DePaul University in Chicago. I went into public accounting with one of the big corporate firms at the time, and quickly realized I didn't want to do accounting. I just quickly found out that it was not my thing. I'm more of a visionary on the front end of things. So I went into finance. Then I started working for a finance company providing financing to businesses. There were very few Black people in the room in that space during that time, especially in middle-market lending. I knew how to underwrite, put deals together, and I knew how to sell them to the company. Because of this I was able to get things done. And I kept meeting the same type of people, and they were all these people of faith who had these business ideas—and they all went to the same church. Ironically, when my mother would come to Atlanta, she'd always want to go to church. I told her, "I know all these people who are trying to live out their faith and change the dynamics of Atlanta." So I took my mom to New Birth Church. >
CASCADE SKATING RINK
Photo Credit: : Antoine Jackson
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Charmaine, continued: We were just sitting there in church, and all of a sudden, it was like the Holy Spirit made me get up and go to the front. And I'm like, "Oh, no, I don't want to be a Christian." I was so mad at God. "Of all the things, you would make me be a Christian. Are you kidding me?" But one thing I am is a Daddy's girl. I'm obedient—right? So, whatever my dad told me, I did. I followed all of his advice. He worked for IBM his entire career and had a very strong corporate persona. And that's what really taught me. I'm telling you this because this is the catalyst for what I do now, today. My dad's career taught me the power of culture—of company culture. Although I didn't work for IBM, I could have, because my household was run according to the value systems of IBM. My dad, with all his training, and everything he did, he brought that home—for his whole career. Chloé: He lived and breathed IBM, right? Charmaine: He lived that thing. Because IBM culture, especially at that time, was so strong. So, that's what I observed. And that has spoken to me now in terms of the power of culture—which is why I am so focused on business owners developing a culture within their organizations—which will impact generations to come. Because that's where real church happens. That's where you spend forty-plus hours a week— with the people you work with. In other words, if you're a business owner, you have the opportunity to serve those people in the capacity like you think a church should do. You can grow them, you can develop them, you can pour into them. You can allow them to be authentically themselves. You can give them different skill sets. And even if they don't remain with your company, you can pour all that into them, so that, wherever they go, they can flourish and thrive. And so, my work with companies is with the owners—to ensure that they are the ones who are aligned with the vision. And that's how God builds. If you look at Genesis chapter one, when God set up the whole thing, He built the bus first. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 21
He put everything in place, everything in motion—everything. And then he put man in it, and then he gave them work. When God does anything, He builds people. He comes at you relationally first, before He even gives you concepts, theories—all that kind of stuff. He establishes a relationship first. And His measure of how well you do in life is on how much you take care of the people He's given you. Jesus, at the end of his days—when he's going before the Father [in John 17:12], he gives an account to the Father, and he doesn't report about how many miracles he makes, what he's done. He doesn't report about how many people he's healed. He doesn't report about any of that stuff. He reports on the people that God gave him. He said, "I lost none that You gave me except for the one that I was supposed to." And so that's our same measure. When people come into our lives, God gives us those people. We have to know who He's given us, and we have to pour into them and help them understand who they are— grow them, develop them—and then send them out, following their calling of what they're supposed to be doing. That's what business is to me. That's how it was, Chloé. Bridgett Gagné, who introduced us for the CelebrityStyle Branding, was one of those people whom I ended up going into business with at that time. And that was our mission. We came across this school—The School of Business and Biblical Economics. It was me, Bridgett, and Lashawna Berry— we were going through this course together. Bridgett dropped out, however. At any rate, it was through that course that God gave Lashawna and me our business, Wisdom Business Management: In 2002, we put it under the framework of the business we named Wisdom Business Management. For the last twenty years, we have continued to study and practice doing business following God's way. >
Charmaine: Yes, it was a shock. Finally, after all this time, we said we were going to retire early and go do this thing full-time. I left corporate in May 2021, and in September 2021, she left her corporate job. We were meeting with Bridgett Gagné—a meeting in Hilton Head to have time with God, to have our start, to reconnect with Bridgett and move down this path to see what God was going to do with us.
Chloé: That's marvelous. Let's fast forward to now. You started your business in 2002. Since then, you have been successful, no doubt. You have had some trying times, some wildly successful times, and some uncertainty at times. What is it that has helped you to stay in business for twenty years? Charmaine: Relationship. Lashawna and I built this through a covenant relationship. Not just a casual relationship. God spoke to us of a covenant. That relationship grew beyond a sisterhood. It was everything—in terms of our commitment to one another and knowing that God put the business— and us—together. It was the same as in a marriage. We made a covenant with each other. And we knew we couldn't leave each other, because God put us together. I didn't even like her when we first met, but God spoke of covenant very early on, and He grew that relationship. And over time, she became like a second mom to my kids, and she lived across the street from my mom. She was in corporate as well, with GE, as a project manager—a risk manager—a real black belt in quality control. Chloé: Is she still your business partner? Charmaine: Yes, but she's on the other side. Chloé: "On the other side"? What do you mean? Charmaine: She transitioned. She caught covid and passed away. Chloé: Oh, no. I'm so sorry to hear that, Charmaine. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 22
Previously, Lashawna had gone to a conference in Dallas, and afterwards she picked me up and we drove to Atlanta, dropped off her stuff, got some more stuff, and drove to Hilton Head. By the time we got there, she wasn't feeling well. The next morning, she got a text from one of the people at the Dallas conference saying, "You've been exposed to covid." The person she was riding around in the car with the whole time in Dallas had covid. We all got tested. Bridgett and I came out negative. Lashawna was positive. She quarantined herself in her room for the duration of our trip. As we were leaving, she couldn't walk 800 feet from the door to the car. I said, "Lashawna, I don't know if we can drive four hours back to Atlanta." I took her to the hospital. They checked her in, and she never came out. For the last year—this twenty-year business that I've been building with Lashawna—we were going to do this work full-time, which we've been doing with individuals and churches. We were going all in! And I'm like, "God, what is this?" Chloé: I'm so sorry for your loss, Charmaine. How are you feeling? Charmaine: Amazing. And let me tell you why: Because she's not gone. We were so intertwined spiritually—how we thought—and we just grew together in our understanding of taking biblical principles and applying them in our business and in our lives. Well, we were always looking for mentors. We wanted an older, wise woman to just walk with us. We had been looking for that forever, since our early twenties. And in our thirties. I was having children. She was single, never married, and didn't have any children. But we were always still looking for mentors to help us with this journey. >
We work with Esthers— women with big visions. Charmaine, continued: Those mentors never came. But what we did have was our covenant relationship. The Scripture that says "iron sharpens iron, one person sharpens another" [Proverbs 27:17] really came alive. Our study and wrestling with the Word together—and applying it to our lives and to our business—was the catalyst for tremendous spiritual growth. Chloé: And now you're saying that you know she's here with you—in the spirit, and within your business, Wisdom Business Management. Right? Charmaine: Absolutely. Chloé: What are your goals now, moving forward into 2023? Charmaine: As I think about our goals for 2023, it is really interesting. We established our logo, which my son designed, and we're moving forward. We were ahead of our time. You hear a lot now about business owners doing "Kingdom Business," and Kingdom Business–driven entrepreneurs. That was not prevalent when we started, and now you hear it everywhere. People are willing to stand in that. That wasn't the case before. A Christian in business. Some people have taken on the title of a Kingdom Business owner, and unfortunately it's still the same dynamic—where they're saying it but not living it. We haven't been taught in business to operate upon God's principles. Why? Because most business owners have an MBA, went to school, grew up in a corporate environment, or started their business from a passion. So, the way they do business is still the worldly way—not according to biblical principles. Our goal is to work with women who know and want to do business God's way—not just being a Christian in business.
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We work with Esthers—women who have been called, with big visions, to save >
I know that many of the women entrepreneurs out there really doing their thing are overly self-critical, and not really sitting in their being.
Charmaine, continued: nations by the work they are doing. They're visionaries who are unapologetic and uncompromising in their faith and how they express themselves in the world. On our journey, Lashawna and I found that you can be doing all of that work, but you could be missing joy, because you're not even enjoying your journey. You're used to killing it. You're used to being very successful. But when you go home, there's something missing still. There's a lack of joy. There is frustration and overwhelm. To answer your question more directly, my goal for 2023 is to take the journey that I'm going down. I figured out a way that I know I can unconditionally love everybody—except for one person, and that's me. Chloé: What do you mean? Charmaine: I have a performance-based relationship with myself. I know that many of the women entrepreneurs out there really doing their thing are overly self-critical as well, and not really sitting in their being. They have really mastered the doing, but we also need the being—being harmonious in our body, in our mind, and in our spirit. And understanding that these parts of ourselves are not separate entities, but should align harmoniously, like a symphony existing within ourselves—producing joy in our here and now. These are the women Wisdom Business Management is called to work with. Chloé: Tell me—back to you, personally. What is it about you, that you will not allow yourself to have that joy within yourself? When you know you are aligned and just need to step into it? Charmaine: That's exactly what I work on! It's about the coaches of coaches. Right? The goal is authenticity—of being able to lean into your coaching while being it yourself. It's more of a facilitation between two people. And that's what my relationship with Lashawna taught me. It's in that coexistence of "iron sharpening iron" with one another—holding each other accountable on this journey. It forced us to stand in the truth of having joy on that journey. So that's what this year has taught me. I've been able to stand in that joy. And there's a little more work that I have to do. And you can't do it alone. A lot of us think we can do this work on our own. But that's just not true. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 24
Chloé: Yes, that's right. We love an amazing team. Charmaine, where are you right now in your professional life—that you felt you're ready to level up? What made you decide to enhance your visual presentation—and willing to heighten your image and professional brand? Charmaine: I've always served other people. I've been comfortable in the background. I don't need to be up front. I serve sheroes, and help them get to be so. I consider myself to be a guide. Lately, though, I've been hearing God tell me to present on the outside how I feel about myself on the inside—to bring alignment to the entirety of my being. I've never given much attention to my personal appearance. It takes too much time. I'm pretty much an efficient person, so spending time in front of the mirror is just too much. Chloé: Well, good for you. And you're already attractive. Many people could benefit from taking a certain amount of time and effort to enhance themselves. Charmaine: God said, "I've given you your voice. You need to speak, and you need to be 100 percent authentic with who you are, knowing you belong to Me after that." And I said, "Okay, well, I need to do this photo shoot." I had been planning on doing one. Bridgett and I are in professional photos together. There I am with my JC Penney image, and there she is in her professional CelebrityStyle Branding photos. And so, yes, I decided I was ready. But when I heard the price, well, I hadn't planned to pay that much. So, I had to make a choice about who I'm going to be and who I'm going to represent, and I know who I'm supposed to serve. There has to be congruency between how I look and who I know I'm supposed to serve. And, Chloé, more importantly, this experience has allowed me to see myself in a way that I've never seen myself before. It has done wonders for me, in just the few weeks since my working with you and your team.
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There have already been key situations where I had to speak with somebody, and I visualized "the new Charmaine," and I announced to myself that I would be showing up and speaking from this position. It's not that I didn't feel that way before, but the visuals of myself that day and seeing myself in those photos—it all makes it more vivid. Chloé: Oh, wow. That’s wonderful. You see the possibilities—and without pretense. It was something that my team and I educed from you, based upon your vision and what you want to accomplish. And you definitely did "pop" in the green, Darling—not to mention the black flowing dress. >
You have to know who you are—who God made you to be.
Charmaine, continued: Yes, I never would have picked green. But the response that I have gotten has been the same thing. "You own that now, right? You have that suit? That's in your closet, right?" That was a sticker-price shock on that one too. But yes, I did get the green suit. Chloé: It's an elevation up, and I'm so pleased that you like that. With your knowledge and experience you know the importance of the alignment of body, mind, soul, spirit, work, lifestyle, and so on. What would you say to other women who are wanting to self-actualize—who want to step into their big life game and purpose? Charmaine: You have to know who you are—who God made you to be. I don’t believe or subscribe to "you create who you are." Who you are is in there. Who you are is just being discovered and uncovered. You're taking off layers of things that have been put on you. Or you've put them on yourself throughout your whole life. But that gold is there. It's been there. You probably had a glimpse of it at some point in your life. For me, mine was in fourth grade. I was a superstar, and I didn't care what others thought. I was just me. Totally me. It's sad that I'm 57 years old, trying to get back to my fourth-grade boldness—to my fourth-grade self. That's a lot of years. But that's kind of what life did for me. And I ended up being in a career for a really long time that wasn't aligned with who I am, and being in relationships that weren't aligned with who I am. But there's a beauty about being in my fifties. I couldn't wait until I got into my fifties. I can't wait to be in my sixties. I can't wait to be in my seventies. I feel like the wisdom that comes from totally leaning into who you are is amazing. And being who God authentically made you to be is your superpower. It's your gift. Chloé: What’s your main thing, Charmaine? Charmaine: Underneath all of this, my intimate relationship with God is where it is. I can't get to any of these places without intimacy with the Most High—the One who created me, the One who knows all the energetic forces behind everything that exists and knows all about me. Without that connection, I have nowhere to go. < Charmaine Wright Orr is an Integrator, Thought Partner, Strategic Voice, Spiritual Midwife, and Co-Founder of Wisdom Business Management. www. c h a rmainewri ghtorr.com
Celebrity-Style Branding Team
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Chloé Taylor Brown: Producer & Creative Director Danny Acres: Cover Photography Gabi Bowens: Cover Makeup & Hair Mark Williams: Wardrobe & Styling Joshua Brown: Behind The Scene Videography
e l y t S y t i r b e l Ce BRANDING FROM CONCEPT TO COMPLETION: BOOK CHLOÉ & HER TEAM TO "CELEBRITIZE" YOUR IMAGE & BRAND
Managing risk means minimizing the effects of a down market on your portfolio. How you allocate your investments in stocks and bonds plays a critical part. Once you know your risk tolerance, everything else about investing is more accessible. You will have greater clarity on the companies in which you invest in your portfolio. You will feel confident you are meeting your financial goals without taking on unnecessary risks from which you may not recover.
Asset allocation is how you divide your portfolio by stocks and bonds. Over the last twenty years, many portfolios have been constructed by the "60/40 rule"—that is, 60 percent in stocks and 40 percent in bonds. This strategy is not suitable for everyone. Rapid changes, evolution in technology, socioeconomic shifts, culture and personal preferences call us to take a more customized approach to risk. When I order a pizza for my wife and kids, one quarter is pepperoni, one quarter is sausage peppers and onions, and the remaining 50 percent of the pie is plain. That's an allocation of flavors and toppings according to their eating preferences.
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In less than five minutes, you will know how to divide your portfolio similarly. >
Market sentiment is exactly how it sounds. What are your feelings about the market? Specifically, what are your feelings about the market when it's down? The best way to do this is by searching "S&P 500 YTD" on Google. This will tell you where the market is year-todate. As I write this, the S&P 500 is down, at a –17.21%. Does that number scare you? Or does that number not affect you? If you're twenty-five years old, it probably doesn't affect you; but if you are fifty-five years old, you might be afraid, since you're nearing retirement, need a fixed income, and want to make sure you come out on top. But let's say for illustrative purposes that we can't tolerate this loss—that this number is too big for you.
The older you are, the less risk-tolerant you are. The younger you are, the more risktolerant you are. Your age determines the time-value of money. The more time you have until you retire, the more time you have for money to work for you. Of course, this is all relative. Some people start investing as early as twenty-one years old, and some as late as forty-eight years old. And while you still benefit from the time-value of money in both scenarios, the ending portfolio value will be higher for the one who stays in the market the longest (regardless of age).
Let's say in this example, for illustrative purposes, that we have determined the investor's age for this risk profile is thirtyeight years old. To determine the asset allocation for this person's risk-tolerance, we take 100 and subtract 38. 100 – 38 = 62 In this example, the answer is 62. This means that the suggested amount of your investment in stocks is 62 percent of your portfolio, with 38 percent in bonds and cash. To determine your risk tolerance, plug in your age.
In our example, depending on your risktolerance, 62 percent of your portfolio in stocks is OK. Looking at the market and where it is today, if it makes you uncomfortable, you can adjust your portfolio in two ways: Take your recommended asset allocation for stocks, minus the S&P loss: 62 – 17.21 = 44.79 percent Or, Take the market sentiment as a percentage of your stock portfolio allocation, then minus: 62 x 0.1721 = 10.67; then 62 – 10.67 = 51.33 percent Could you do both calculations so you can come up with a range? In this case, your riskadjusted allocation for investing in stocks in your portfolio is between 44.79 percent and 51.33 percent.
Those not so tolerant of risk might find these new risk-adjusted numbers comforting. But keep in mind you may not have the kind of growth and rewards in an up-market if you were to invest more money in stocks. This risk-adjusted number might work better for someone older or near retirement age. If someone over fifty started investing later in life, the risk-adjusted number would be too conservative. You could construct a portfolio of companies and industries within your asset allocation that will perform well. As a macro-thematic manager, I choose companies that benefit from a specific cultural, political, or technological theme. This strategy leads to the highest returns within a shorter time frame, aligned with your asset allocation.
Transparency in your portfolio construction will give you peace of mind. Knowing how you assess your risk tolerance is the first step to minimizing your exposure to unnecessary market risk on the road to meeting your financial goals. Your friend, Daniel
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Learn how to meet any financial goal within five minutes by subscribing to Daniel's newsletter. www.evansandcompany.com
It is that time of year again—when we make resolutions, set goals, and promise ourselves we are going to do better this year. Some of us find we have achieved those things we set out to do by the end of that year. But some of us are frustrated and disappointed in ourselves for not achieving our resolutions—our goals for self-improvement. Why are some of us successful and some of us are not? It starts with that conversation in between our ears. Each January, we can develop, write out and implement our best laid plans to achieve what we intend to do. However, somewhere along the year, things go astray. We get distracted and lose sight of our goals, or somewhere along the line we can't regain our motivation.
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>
We often tell ourselves negative thoughts. I am, as always, preaching to myself as well. I always say that I am the product of my own brand. I share in your struggle to remain focused, motivated and intentional. Why?
Life Happens. This past year has included great losses in my life—men and women who were near and dear to me. These are losses that paralyzed me, distracted me, and derailed me completely. So, I sit at the threshold of this new year having not achieved the goals I set out to achieve. Momentarily, I'm feeling a certain disappointment. Can you relate? However, this year, this time (unlike other seasons where I have been in this position), I have given myself some grace and changed my
The first time they stand, it may only last a few seconds, but boy do we celebrate those few seconds! They continue to try, and eventually those few seconds turn into a few minutes. The few minutes turn into the attempt to take that first step. And what happens when they take that first step? Oh, my goodness. We cheer and shout like we are at a football game. We make so much commotion that sometimes it startles the poor child, who then loses their balance. Why do we shortchange ourselves? Why do we not celebrate our baby steps? We shortchange ourselves because we put too much pressure on ourselves. Let us collectively agree in this moment to give ourselves some grace. To allow ourselves the space to hit the pause button. This could happen temporarily
thoughts on the situation.
throughout the year if necessary.
I've changed the conversation between my ears. I’m no longer focused on the rear-view mirror. I
However, let's also agree to hit the restart
see it now as an opportunity for a new beginning. Revamping some of those unachieved goals and setting short-term ones—weekly, monthly, and
continue our journey to what it is we have
quarterly goals—that are achievable. It is important to make those short-term goals
implement a new thought process and allow
manageable so that you can be realistic about what you can accomplish in the time period you give yourself. I have a saying that I hope will encourage you— as it is encouraging me in this new season: As long as you wake up every day, as long as you are living and breathing, you have an opportunity to do something with that particular day. You have the opportunity to do something that puts you one step closer to your goals. Even if it is a small step. Even if you only spend thirty minutes that day doing something toward your goal, that is a victory for the day. Celebrate it! We often think that we can only celebrate the monumental goals. But this is not so! When a child learns to walk, we encourage them, we clap with joy as they make that unsteady journey to simply stand on their feet for the first time.
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button after a period of time, in order to desired for ourselves. As we embark on a new season, remember I am with you—as I, too, myself to chart a new course—a fresh start. Be gentle with yourself, encourage yourself, stay focused, stay motivated, and embrace the journey!
<
I am Paula G. Voice—AKA Lady Wisdom—a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer, embracing my journey. I influence dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their vision and ultimately the manifestation of the same. It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dream. Flourish! WWW.PAULAGVOICE.COM
PAULA G VOICE
@PAULAGVOICE
PAULA G VOICE
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refresh YOUR SPIRIT Identify—Resist—then Release for an Enriched Life
By Donella Cranford
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What comes to mind when you hear the word
Join me on this journey to identify, resist, and
refresh? A warm bath? A cool swim? A massage?
then release unwanted attachments so that
A cold glass of tea? A run or walk through the
you will ultimately refresh your spirit. You will
park? The dictionary defines refresh as "giving
experience more peace and joy, and your faith
new strength or energy to something." Some
will deepen and mature. Practicing these
synonyms for refresh are reinvigorate, revitalize,
behaviors will force you to trust God more.
revive, restore, and fortify. I don’t know about you, but these are all action words I want to
Allow me to share a personal experience and
activate in my life.
several strategies I used that resulted in the identification, resistance, and release of
So, the question is: How do you refresh your
attachments that were undermining my
spirit? The answer resides in identifying, resisting
success. I hope and pray that, like me, your
and releasing those things that no longer add
spirit will be refreshed, and that you will find
value to your life—and replacing them with
something of value that will enrich your life.
something more encouraging. What better way to begin a new year than to renew your mind
On December 18, 2021, my mom, who had
and enrich your life?
resided with my husband and me for almost thirty years, had a stroke at the age of ninety-
We are blessed with the ability to release any
eight. She spent Christmas in the hospital, and
thoughts, feelings, emotions, or behaviors that
she was still there on her ninety-ninth
have been holding us hostage—and to renew our
birthday on January 1, 2022.
minds through the Divine power within. My favorite Scripture is Romans 12:2. This Scripture tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of our minds" and not to be conformed to this world. Many of the world’s rules, laws and norms to which we conform are often a result of attachments and beliefs that we have learned over the years and still hold on to, even when they are not adding any value to our lives. One of my spiritual objectives in 2022 was to identify thoughts, beliefs, and actions (attachments) that no longer serve me and then work to resist them and release them. I am happy to report that I was very successful in this endeavor. As I move into 2023, I will refresh my spirit by continuing this practice. What are you attached to that no longer serves you robbing you of your peace and joy? It could be a thought, a belief, an action, an attitude, a desire, or a behavior. Whatever it is, in 2023, refresh your spirit by identifying it, resisting it—and then removing it, and replacing it with a positive outcome so that your life will be enriched. Who doesn’t want an enriched life?
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>
My mother was eventually moved to a rehab facility, and on February 4, 2022, she moved to her new residence in the arms of our Father God. I share this not to sadden you but to refresh your spirit as you read about the lifechanging lessons that forced me to identify, resist, and then release several attachments that were robbing me of the peace and joy God wanted me to maintain—even amidst this
My attachment:
I wanted to be in control of the details. I wanted to know the outcome.
I had to. . .
retrain my brain to resist the temptation to wonder or worry about things totally out of my control; I had to release control to those in charge; and I had to pray and trust that God would help me.
challenging situation. After identifying the unhealthy attachments I believe we all desire peace and joy instead of
and resisting and releasing them, my life was
lonliness and discouragement. One way to
enriched, and my spirit was refreshed—my
preserve it and enrich our lives is to get rid of
peace and joy had returned. When you are
useless attachments that no longer serve you.
attached to a thought, an action, an emotion, a desire, or a behavior that is stealing your
Below are three unhealthy attachments I
God-given peace and joy, it is time to make an
identified while on this journey with my mom.
honest assessment of the attachment, and
After recognizing what had a grip on me, I
then detach. Yes, it does take much
knew I had to resist and then release them:
intentional redirecting—but I can attest to the fact that it is all worth the effort.
My attachment:
Invite the Holy Spirit to identify unhealthy
I thought that my way was best when it came to assisting my mom.
attachments in your life. Resist them and then
I had to. . .
of the Holy Spirit.
resist and release my notion of what the results should look like based on what I wanted, and instead have faith that each step had God’s handprint on it, and that it would lead to my mom’s best outcome.
release them by being obedient to the leading <
YOUR SPIRIT WILL BE REFRESHED AND YOUR LIFE ENRICHED.
My attachment:
I thought that more is better.
I had to. . .
identify my limitations, do what I could, and then resist the temptation to do more. I had to release and leave things where they were, even when I thought that more was needed. I had to walk away as I rested in the assurance that all would be well. @DONNELLA CRANFORD @DONNELLA CRANFORD
Donnella Cranford is the author of Encouraging Your Heart and Founder of Women After God's Own Heart.
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Married To The MANTRA Keeping romantic relationships energized and purposeful.
They can energize and enliven themselves by creating their own Sacred Marriage Mantra—to align their relationship to thrive and flourish again—and maybe for the very first time.
#
MARRIED TOTHE MANTRA
CHLOÉ & RICK BROWN SHARE PERSONAL STORIES, LESSONS, PROCESSES AND STRATEGIES TO HELP COUPLES CREATE SACRED MARRIAGE MANTRAS WHILE OFFERING DIVINE TRUTHS TO REALIGN, REESTABLISH AND REVITALIZE MARRIAGES AND ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS
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COUPLEDOM Continued from page 11 Tiran grew up in a small town in Alabama. He was exceptional in math, science, and sports— which he participated in throughout high school. Then he attended Tennessee State University with a focus on Mechanical Engineering. TSU is also where he met Maleka, his future wife, who had already graduated from the same university a year earlier and was now a schoolteacher in the area. They hit it off and decided to continue their relationship when Tiran was offered a job at Rolls-Royce in Indiana as an engineer. Tiran proposed, they got married, and started their beautiful new life together. At that time, Tiran was purpose-driven, believing he was on the right path—to continually grow, to be a good husband and eventually a father, and to be a great provider for his family. "I enjoyed my career and was moving up the ladder as an engineer at RollsRoyce," recalls Tiran. "Things were great. Maleka was moving on in her career as well as a teacher. But she decided not to continue as a teacher after becoming pregnant with our son, Cameron." Maleka moved in a different direction, getting an MBA and going into Accounting. "I got an MBA as well and I was still doing my thing as an engineer." The couple realized that Indiana wasn't the place for them any longer. Tiran was offered an opportunity to be an engineering manager at a small company in Atlanta. They took it and were happy to be closer to family as they continued to move up in their careers. "Maleka moved into Human Resources and I continued to grow and excel as an engineer. And before we knew it, we had been married for fourteen years. And we were getting ready for our fifteenth wedding anniversary."
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The couple traveled to the Bahamas. Maleka couldn't wait to swim with wild, feral pigs in the ocean—at a tourist attraction on the island where they were staying. "The year before that, she had gone on a girls' trip and she swam with dolphins. She really enjoyed it, and now, I guess she wanted to continue her path of getting in touch with animals in the water." They were looking forward to enjoying themselves, reconnecting with each other, and having lots of summer fun they so richly deserved. They had both been very busy and traveling a lot for work. Right away, the couple dove into the delicious fruity drinks—at the beach, in the pool and everywhere. The third day was their trip to tour the island outside of their resort, where they would be swimming with the pigs. Everything was fine leading up to the marina, where they would eventually take off on a small ten-passenger boat. Five minutes into their excursion everything changed. The boat exploded. "I found myself waking up face down on the surface of that boat," Tiran said. "I was knocked unconscious. I woke up because my right leg was literally on fire. Another passenger tried to pick me up before he jumped off the boat, but I was unconscious, and he couldn't lift me." Tiran was left on the burning boat to die. As he was coming out of an unconscious state, he could see and hear people yelling. "Get off the boat! Get off the boat! Get off the boat!" Tiran said he was on his stomach, trying his best to pull himself away from the red-hot flames. >
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, and penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. "My left foot was severed. I could see my ankle bone with blood gushing out. As a second boat was approaching, people were still yelling 'get off the boat!' I tried to push myself up, but I crumbled. I tried again, and it was impossible. My collarbone was broken in four places. So, there I was—right leg on fire, left foot bleeding, ankle bone out. Somehow my right arm was OK, so I was able to put my fingertips in the ridges of the boat's surface, doing my best to drag myself away from the flames." But he passed out again. Because the water was shallow, passengers from that second boat actually dove in and swam over to pull him off the burning boat before the second fuel tank exploded. Tiran was saved from the boat's fire, and taken to a nearby clinic on the back of a pick-up truck as his burned and battered body lay on a piece of plywood. Maleka had been thrown off the boat in a different direction, and was taken to the same clinic. Tiran explains, "As I was being wheeled into the clinic, I could hear Maleka. She was in agony, moaning and suffering, and I couldn't do anything about it." Tiran was told he would be flown to the Good Hospital in Nassau with another person who had been hurt very badly on the boat. He was told that his wife would be coming too, but later. Tiran believed that meant she was doing better than he was and needed less attention. The flight took an hour and a half. He still wanted to know about Maleka. "She's coming later," they told him, and quickly took him to get a CAT scan and then to surgery to try to reattach his left foot to his leg. Six hours later from the time of the accident—after flying to Nassau, having scans and surgery, Tiran woke up, with two doctors arriving shortly thereafter. His first question was, "Where is Maleka? Where is my wife?" "Mr. Jackson," one doctor said, "we hate to inform you, but your wife didn't make it. She died in the clinic." They hadn't wanted to tell Tiran before putting him on that plane. Tiran was in shock. They had come to celebrate a milestone anniversary—and now he was facing the realization that his partner, best friend, lover, the mother of his child, was no longer there with him. "And here I am, physically broken and now emotionally heartbroken," he remembers. "I cried myself to sleep. That was June 2018." >
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IDENTITY
Tiran says one of the first things he did was to get into grief counseling and therapy. "It's been a journey. I was in the Bahamas after the accident for two days, then I was flown to Fort Lauderdale, Florida for two weeks, where my leg was amputated" He adds, "I was physically messed up. I had a fractured pelvis, a fractured vertebra, broken collarbone, broken right foot, and third-degree burns on my right leg. So, they had to do a lot of stuff to put me back together. And after that, I was flown to Nashville. I stayed at my sister's house for six weeks to rest and heal before I could do real rehab or anything else."
I was used to us doing things as Ti and Maleka, but Maleka is no longer here. I wanted to know: 'So, who am I, now?' Tiran hated the fact that his son saw him wearing a back brace and sitting in a wheelchair. "He saw me broken in ways he had never seen me before, and I could tell it affected him." Tiran was determined to get himself to a point where he could use crutches. That's when he and his son returned to their home in Atlanta. Tiran's mother arrived to take care of her son and grandson. That's when the real emotional healing process began. "My son and I were both going through therapy, and it forced me to dig deep into myself and understand there was a sense of vulnerability that I had to pull out that I never had before. I realized my partner was no longer here. What was my identity? I was used to us doing things as Ti and Maleka, but Maleka is no longer here. I wanted to know: 'So, who am I, now?' That was really one of the biggest breakthroughs for me. It wasn't easy, but my son and I both went through it. Two years total, with about six to eight months of grief counseling and therapy. And then we started focusing on what the rest of my life was going to look like." >
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GOD SPEAKS
With counseling and therapy, Tiran realized he couldn't go back and change the past. He needed to accept it, embrace it, and be mindful of what his future was going to look like. Almost immediately, he relates, "In the hospital in Florida I realized that I would not be going back to work anytime soon, and that I would not be going back to being an engineer or living my previous life. I realized I had a different purpose now. It wasn't clear at the time, but it became clearer and clearer as I moved forward with my journey. About eight months after the accident, a friend of mine who is a regional director for a life insurance company asked if I would come to a conference with him—to speak, to tell my story about what I was going through emotionally, and to share the mind of someone who has lost a close loved one in a traumatic event. He wanted me to share how best to engage and connect with someone like me." Tiran put a speech together but ended up scrapping it and speaking from his heart. "It was very emotional, like therapy on stage—a poor speech—but my message really connected to others. And as a result of that first talk, I've been asked to speak and share my story of resilience again and again at different events and different conferences. I realize now that by telling my story I am giving people inspiration and hope, and sharing the perspective that no matter what you're facing, you can bounce back." > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 40
He continues, "My perspective on life is completely different, and my level of appreciation of smaller things matters so much more now. I have become so much more empathetic as far as what is going on with others around me. Because I know what it's like to be in a state of helplessness.
Tiran has been a true champion at bouncing back—physically and emotionally—as he is learning to parent his son in both a masculine fatherly way and also "in a nurturing way without his mom being there." Tiran explains, "The therapy helped me to heal and uncover authentically who I truly am. Previously, I was very introverted and kept to myself. I realized there were certain ways I needed to be honest with myself, and to communicate, and to ask for what I need. I had to become resilient."
"When I was speaking to people and getting so many great comments and feedback, it made me understand that I'm truly here as a vessel. This testimony that I have, this survival story, is God using me to be able to impact and touch people in a way that I didn't know about before that day in the Bahamas."
He started journaling—writing down his thoughts and memories of situations, how he felt, his emotions, and what his future might look like. And this led to the start of his book, Choosing Resilience. "Resilience is not about regaining what was in your past. It's about reshaping what remains to create your future." Reshaping what remains is a wonderful way to look at life as we think about our future. Tiran had to adjust to the fact that he isn't like everybody else. "I have to look in the mirror without my prosthetic and see that I don't look like I used to look. I can't just walk and get out of bed and move. This is part of who I am, now, and I've got to put this leg on every time I move. I have to operate differently."
Tiran calls his new platform Reborn Resilient, because, he explains, "I was basically reborn the moment that accident happened, into a different person." He adds, "My left-brain analytical approach is still the same— the way that I actually try to solve issues and problems. A lot of those things are the same. But my level of empathy, my level of understanding, and my level of appreciation of life—the beauties and joys of it—are so much more vast, deeper, and broader than what they ever were before. So that level of compassion and understanding is part of what I do now." >
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RESHAPING WHAT REMAINS
Naturally, this tragedy created a complete shift for Tiran. He began to realize that helping other people process the tragedy and trauma that they're facing was part of the purpose God had given him. This led him to becoming a professional speaker and storyteller of his experiences.
I'VE COME A LONG WAY Tiran says he's been able to find a place of joy, happiness, and contentment with his life now. "Even though I'm not as healed as I want to be yet, the depression, anxiety, and the stresses that I felt early on to get past the trauma are very low now, in comparison." He is staying patient with himself. "I had to work to learn to love again. And in the midst of it all, I found someone who has brought additional happiness to my life. I've remarried. The ironic part of it is, about a year and a half after the accident, I went back during homecoming to Tennessee State University, where Maleka and I attended college, to present a scholarship created in Maleka's name. I was there to speak at the scholarship gala, to actually dedicate that scholarship in her name and in her honor. And while I was there, I met a new friend. That grew into dating, which grew into love, and an engagement, and into our marriage." Tiran says with a smile, "As I was honoring the legacy of Maleka, my former wife, God blessed me with the opportunity to meet Kaye, the beautiful lady who is now my wife. And I didn't even see it coming. I am now able to accept and receive that blessing. I've come a long way." >
rebornresilient.com/
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CONFIDENCE, INTENTION & FAITH. With clear intentions Tiran Jackson has been able to take a good honest look at himself, and at what he wants to accomplish now. He determined what he needed to learn, and how he wanted to be, act, and show up that aligns with who he is authentically, and who he wants to become. This now guides him and his actions, almost unconsciously. < FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 43
This year, do something different for
VALENTINE'S DAY What if you’re against Valentine’s Day?
If you’re a woman who’d rather forget February 14th altogether, you can gather with
If so, you’re not the only one. In the movie
friends the day before instead—for Galentine’s
Valentine’s Day there’s a scene in which a
Day on February 13th. This holiday for
heart-shaped piñata is destroyed with gusto
celebrating friendship has grown in popularity
at an “I Hate Valentine’s Day” party. It’s a
ever since the character Leslie Knope (played
truly satisfactory moment in the story (I
by Amy Poehler on the TV series Parks and
won’t spoil it for you).
Recreation) invented the holiday to honor her
Whether you love or loathe February 14th, this movie turns out to be the perfect film to rent with your honey for a night in.
girlfriends by
kicking it breakfast-style with personalized gifts and compliments all around.
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 44
>
Where did VALENTINE'S DAY come from, anyway? There are actually three priests named
Valentine opposed the ruling,
Valentinus (a popular Latin name
continuing to perform marriage
meaning “worthy,” “strong” and
ceremonies for couples in secret. Once
“healthy”) who lived in third-century
discovered, Valentine was imprisoned
Rome—and all of them were martyred
and eventually beheaded. As the story
around the same time. The prevailing
goes, he befriended the jailer’s
legend is that the man we now call
daughter—some accounts say he
Valentine was a bishop who defied
performed a miracle, healing her of
Claudius II, a brutal emperor who
blindness—and he signed his last letter
decided that single men made better
to her before his death (carried out on
soldiers in his army than those with
the 14th of February), “from your
family ties, so he decreed it unlawful
Valentine.”
for them to marry.
It was about 200 years later, some
Believe it or not, this included the
historians say, that Pope Gelasius I
ritual of women willingly receiving
decided it was time to outlaw Rome’s
lashes by half-naked men using goat-
pagan Lupercalia Festival—which took
hide thongs called februa—which is
place in mid-February to celebrate
where we get the word February!
fertility and sensuality. Participants
These carnival couplings were
put their names in a jar and hooked up
sometimes known to lead to love and
for the duration with the person whose
marriage. But all this was way too much
name they drew.
for the pope, who replaced the event with the relatively tame idea of giving
There were also animal sacrifices.
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 45
tribute to Saint Valentine.
>
It took almost 1000 years from there
His long reverie—699 lines of poetry!—
for Saint Valentine’s Day to catch on as
about a flock of birds gathering to pair
a romantic occasion. Around 1380,
off was the start of the custom of
Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a popular
professing love on Valentine’s Day. This
poem called Parliament of Foules, with
is when the idea of writing love letters
the line:
took hold.
For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day / Whan every foul cometh ther to chees his mate.
Thousands of years ago, chocolate was
Cupid, of course, is the Roman god of
a drink treasured by the Aztecs and the
love—Eros in Greek—named from the
Mayans, believed to boost vitality and
Latin cupere, meaning “to desire.”
viewed as an aphrodisiac. Sixteenthcentury Spaniards brought chocolate
Nowadays, medical experts recommend
home to Spain from Mexico, and soon
dark chocolate—with seventy percent
“chocolate houses” spread across
cacao content or higher—to keep your
Europe, becoming more trendy than
heart healthy. So, indulge in a square
coffee shops.
of dark chocolate without guilt. Its antioxidants have been shown to lower
And where did the idea of giving
blood pressure as well as to increase
chocolates in heart-shaped boxes
blood circulation to the heart, lowering
come from? At his British chocolate
your risk of stroke and heart disease.
company, Richard Cadbury came up with the idea of “eating chocolates,”
Besides, some chocolate just might
and in 1861 he started selling them in
warm the heart of the one you love.
heart-shaped boxes decorated with flowers and cupids.
The custom of making and sending
As a grown-up, I still enjoy making
valentines—between friends, family or
valentines with paper doilies, stickers
lovers—took hold in the 1700s. By the
and glue, and sending them to family
1800s, printed cards made expressing
and friends.
feelings even easier. When I was in elementary school, we would make or buy valentines for every kid in the class so no one felt slighted. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 46
>
Let’s Uphold Our Freedom to Back to Saint Valentine—who believed
It took until June 26, 2015 for the
so much in the sanctity of
Supreme Court to make same-sex
marriage that he gave up his own life
marriage legal across the United States
to defend it. No matter how cynical
with the Obergefell v. Hodges decision.
some people are about lasting love,
As a result, Jim Obergefell and John
Valentine’s righteous defense of
Arthur’s marriage in Maryland was
marriage still holds, all these centuries
deemed legal.
later.
On Valentine’s Day, we can celebrate Couples in love keep getting married,
the fact that today in the United
especially in June, known as a fine
States any couple who wants to marry
month for weddings—not just for the
has the freedom to do so. And we can
pleasant weather but because of two
defend their right to marry—without
historic milestones that transpired in
facing a death sentence.
the month of June in the not-sodistant past.
Now that’s progress. And pass me that organic dark chocolate bar, please.
It’s a sad fact that interracial marriage was unlawful in the United States until June 12, 1967, when the Supreme Court ruled in Loving v. Virginia that Mildred and Richard Loving—yes, that really was their name!—a Black Native American woman and a White American man who had been arrested in Virginia for “unlawful cohabitation” were finally considered to be legally married, and interracial marriage became legal in all fifty states.
Flourish Digital Magazine copyeditor | spiritual author/prayer coach/healer CSRenewal.Medium.com sites.google.com/view/CSRenewal AskJanis.com
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 47
<
SIMPLE SKINCARE
BY CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN
Effective Cleansing Effective cleansing is the first step. It removes daily oils, dirt and grime that sticks to your skin, clogging your pores. Cleanse your face morning and night with a cleanser that is right for your particular skin type. Different brands of cleansers refer to the same products differently, but usually there is a gentle foaming cleanser that can be used for all skin types. There is a rich and creamy cleanser for normal to dry skin. There are gel cleansers that are oil-free and mild for normal to oily skin. And there are cleansers for very sensitive skin as well. Remember this: If you are not sure of your skin type ask an aesthetician, a dermatologist or a consultant at a make-up counter.
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 48
Exfoliation Exfoliants and facial scrubs gently slough off dead surface cells, allowing your skin to breathe, which actually smooths and evens the skin’s surface. All skin types need exfoliation—some more often than others. When you need a rebalancing boost, exfoliate. Also, for a fabulously smooth feeling all over, take your scrubs into the shower with you at least once a week to get rid of dead skin from the epidermis layer all over. It will allow your newly generated skin to emerge faster, giving the entire body a natural and healthy glow. Trust me, you won’t be able to keep your hands off yourself. >
Toning Toning helps to calm your skin and to close your pores after steaming, cleansing and exfoliation. It then prepares it for optimal absorption.
Moisturizing Moisturizing replaces necessary oils, and creates a seal over your skin while smoothing and preparing it for make-up. It also protects the skin from the elements. There are oil-free moisturizers that control oil and breakthrough shine as it hydrates. There are rich, hydrating face creams that are wonderful for normal to dry skin.
Eye Care Eye care is essential because the eye area is very delicate and needs special care. You will need a lightweight and nongreasy cream or gel to condition and renew eye-area skin. I began using eye cream around age twenty-five.
Lip Care Lip care keeps lips from cracking and drying. Exfoliate your lips before going to bed by applying a menthol-based lip balm. Cracked and dry lips can be very unattractive. Upon awakening, use your wash cloth to gently exfoliate for youthful-looking lips all the time.
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Nourish & Condition Nourish and condition your skin by drinking plenty of water; by eating fresh, live foods; by getting proper rest and exercise; and by feeding your skin topically with Vitamins A, C and E. Try using a topical C in the morning. Use a topical A at night, and then apply glycolic acid on top of the Vitamin A and C. Also, remember that your face also includes your neck and chest area, but not your breasts. <
INNER PEACE IN 2023 BY AMBER KRYSTAL, THEE BEAUTY COACH
When you hear the words inner peace what immediately comes to your mind? Well for some it's yoga, reading a book, or going for a long drive in the afternoon. While those things are great, the truth is, inner peace starts from within—and it can be obtained while living a normal ordinary life. Day by day, you have to make a conscious decision that inner peace will be your position. Being at peace with yourself sharpens your senses. You handle day-to-day affairs efficiently. You are happy, little things bring you joy and you are more intuitive. You develop a level of strength and confidence that helps you focus more easily on your mental state of being, so that you become the best version of yourself. Inner peace or peace of mind is a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace—with enough knowledge and understanding to keep yourself strong and resilient when you’re facing disharmony, stress or confusion. As you begin your journey to finding inner peace, along the way you may discover that you’re disconnecting yourself from people, places or situations that keep you in dissonance. This is because you will not allow anything to disturb you or interfere with your inner peace. Take note of your behavior when you are around certain people, places, or things. Ask yourself, "Does this bring me peace and joy? Or do I feel the total opposite? Cultivating the highest version of yourself takes a lot of discipline and perseverance. I’ll leave you with wise words from the Dalai Lama: "When we have inner peace, we can be at peace with those around us. When our community is in a state of peace, it can share that peace with neighboring communities." <
THEEBEAUTYCOACH.ORG @THEEBEAUTYCOACH @DREANICOLEPHOTOGRAPHER
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 50
COOL, CALM & CREATIVE How Global Content Creator
FRANK CARLISI
Leans into Pop Culture to Create Culture
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It’s after 3:00 AM. The glow of Frank Carlisi’s laptop illuminates the dark living room. The soft rumble of his two French bulldogs snoring soundly beside him is the only sound in the room. He wonders if there might be time to squeeze in a quick episode of the new Marvel series on Disney+. He has a busy day ahead that will touch time zones around the world, and with only a few hours to go, he thinks better of it and lumbers off to sleep. ExV Agency is an international public relations, content, and events production agency with offices in New York, Hong Kong, and Atlanta. As an awardwinning COO of the agency, Frank wears many hats— from researching and testing new content for ExV Studio (an unscripted television content production wing), to building bespoke PR strategies, and producing events for individuals and international companies around the world. Frank is up late again, adding the finishing touches to a pitch deck with an affiliate production company, Tim Grady Films, in preparation for the Realscreen Summit in Austin, Texas, taking place January 23–26, 2023. In 2022, Frank and Tim Grady Films’ unscripted project, The Price You Pay, won the pitch competition at the Realscreen Summit in Dana Point, California, which led to a production deal with A&E. To get a second shot at the 2023 Summit crown, this new concept must be just right. I sat down with Frank and asked him how he is able to consistently source unique content ideas for unscripted television shows, as well as PR strategies, and bespoke event concepts for both social and corporate productions. “Apart from the lack of sleep, which I think fuels my insanity when coming up with new concepts,” said Frank, laughing, “there are a few things I can share that might help individuals and businesses come up with new, creative ideas.” Frank explained that some of the key concepts he taps into when trying to analyze whether new ideas are viable, marketable, or creative enough, is his own life experience. “I investigate my own experiences and draw inspiration and creativity from the simplest things: meeting a new person, reading a comic book, looking at things that are considered derivative, and then finding a new perspective on that topic or subject." He continued, "I look at how life imitates art and vice versa, and as someone who has always been deeply immersed in pop culture, I have an instinct for when a seemingly fresh idea has been tried before." FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 52
He offered this advice: "You need to know the culture to create the culture. It will help you understand whether your concepts and ideas are unique and have a potential audience. Research is imperative. Just because an idea seems fresh to you, does not mean it hasn’t been tried before.” When it comes to finding the perfect time to be creative, Frank was adamant: “There is no perfect situation or time to be creative. In my own experience, my creativity peaks when I am under some sort of pressure. This might stem from years in the events and catering industries— where thinking on your feet, under immense pressure with tight deadlines looming, is the only way to ensure success." >
"Don’t wait for the perfect time to be creative," he went on. "The perfect situation does not exist. Sometimes, when we are going through challenges or difficulties, that is when the best ideas come to light. Be prepared to take notes and write things down at any given moment, and be open to your instincts." I asked Frank if there was any way to unblock moments when creativity is waning, and how he deals with creator's block. He answered with confidence. “When I feel creatively depleted, that is when I tap into my collaborators, friends, and the people who inspire me the most. If I feel stuck, the best way to get unstuck is to be honest and share my feelings with someone I trust—someone who inspires me—and then brainstorm. Lightning may not strike right away, but it will. It always does.
Frank continued, "Hardship, while challenging, can be a key component to how to creatively navigate difficulties in life and in business. Being creative in darkness offered me sparks of light, when there seemed to be no way forward. It allowed me to not let challenges drain my energy. Instead, it fueled and motivated me. I have been able to remain creative through many hardships—including navigating the covid-19 pandemic when our agency had been almost fully focused on inperson events. I’m not saying any of this is easy, but a new perspective and lens on how we look at hardship is where creativity begins." He concluded, "I would encourage myself to listen to my instincts more and trust myself. There is no greater power in taking control of a situation than by finding a creative way to navigate it.” <
"There is no reason to feel creatively isolated. Leaning into collaborators, team members and colleagues is a great way to get yourself unstuck to feel creative again. New perspectives can be inspiring and help you see ideas from completely different angles that you may never have considered in the first place.” I asked him what advice he might have given to his younger self. “I would tell myself to use my environment to propel my creative spirit, and not shy away from it. I have found courage, inspiration, and creativity in some of the greatest tragedies and failures in my life." FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 53
by Karen Gamba The ExV Agency
IN ALL THE WORLD, THERE IS NO HEART FOR ME LIKE
IN ALL THE WORLD, THERE IS NO LOVE FOR YOU LIKE
—MAYA ANGELOU
Let’s take a different spin on New Year's this year. Over the past three years (pandemic time) we’ve learned a lot about life. Some of us moms saw it as a way to take a break—no more running around town with extracurricular activities, school pick-ups, drop-offs, birthday parties and such. For some it was frustrating stepping into the role of mom all day, every day—with support close by, but not allowed because of covid restrictions. We missed going out, and going to family gatherings. We missed what it felt like to do things on the outside without having a tinge of fear for our kids as well as ourselves. We made a time to reflect on how busy our lives had become and how quickly life could pass us by. There were also mental health issues that surfaced. Access to mental healthcare came to the forefront. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 56
Hey, Mamas! Let’s take a different spin on New Year's by Elena Taylor-Bagger
As things have calmed down, we’ve also learned, however, that we were no longer willing to push ourselves to the brink of death to later realize that we are too tired or too sick to enjoy the fruits of our labor. We sought mental health help and implemented full self care (there are different types of self care—but we’ll save that for later), at rates a hundred times what they used to be. We paused, created businesses, and supported one another. We chose to start creating the lives we want. Time is relative. You can start at anytime. A year is measured as 365 days. So if you are reading this magazine in January or June—it doesn't matter when. You can decide now that it is time to create the life you want while raising your family. You can start today. My wish is for moms globally—no matter where you start this year—is that you simply give yourself—your hopes and your dreams—the attention that you bestow upon others.
My continued wish for you is that you find what works for you in life—and dare to do it. And that you make your physical and mental health a priority. Know when to push and when to rest. May you begin to learn what self-love truly is and implement it. My hope is that you will build a business. May you give and receive immeasurable amounts of love. May you never compare yourself to anyone you see in person or on social media. May you travel and have an adventure of a lifetime. The calendar New Year is a great mile marker for getting started. But truly, at any point in time, you can begin a new year of you.
Much love to all the mamas embarking on a new life this year! —I.M. Love
Elena Taylor-Bagger Founder of The Innovative Mom, and single mom to five young adults www.theinnovativemom.com @theinnovativemom FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 57
the innovative mom
YOU DON'T NEEED MORE MONEY OR MORE TIME TO FEEL & LOOK CONSISTENTLY GREAT— YOU NEED GOALS, A GOOD ATTITUDE. . . AND STYLE! Consider booking an image, fashion, style & goal-setting consultation appointment today. CLIENTS HAVE INCLUDED:
CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM
FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 58
Continued from page 12 Pat Mitchell was inducted into the Broadcasting and Cable Hall of Fame in 2009, named one of the Most Powerful Women in Hollywood by the Hollywood Reporter, and featured in Fast Company’s special report, The League of Extraordinary Women: 60 Influencers Who Are Changing the World. In partnership with TED, she launched TEDWomen in 2010 and is now its editorial director, curator and host. With more than 300 TED Talks presented and streamed to millions of viewers across the world, TEDWomen celebrates the power of women and girls as creators and change-makers. The program of speakers, workshops, events—and daring discussions—has sparked some of TED's most iconic moments. In 2012, the Women’s Media Center honored Mitchell with their first-annual Lifetime Achievement Award. Mitchell has also been recognized with the Sandra Day O'Connor Award for Leadership and was honored by the Center for the Advancement of Women for her accomplishments and contributions in the world of communications in creating a more equitable society for women. She is also one of twelve Americans awarded the prestigious Bodley Medal from the Bodleian Library at Oxford University. Mitchell was appointed by House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi as one of nine commissioners to develop a plan to build a National Women’s History Museum in Washington, D.C. in 2016.
Pat (left) with activist V (formerly Eve Ensler, middle) and V-Day activists FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 59
Pat (left) and Mary Muldoon after winning an Emmy for Best Daytime Talk Program for Woman to Woman in 1984
In 2019 Mitchell presented her own TEDWomen talk, Dangerous Times Call for Dangerous Women, which has been viewed over two million times online. She also published her book, Becoming a Dangerous Woman: Embracing Risk to Change the World. Alongside revelatory interviews with other dangerous women, Mitchell encourages readers to be braver and bolder, to dismantle the barriers to full equality they see in their own lives, and to embrace risk to create a more equitable world. >
In addition to her accomplishments both on and off the screen, Mitchell is known for her humanitarian efforts and for her work as a dedicated member of numerous nonprofit boards. She is the chair emerita of the Women’s Media Center and the former chair and current trustee of the Sundance Institute. She is also a founding board member of V-Day, a global movement to end violence; a founding Chair of Mikhail Gorbachev's global environmental organization, Green Cross International; and a board member of the Skoll Foundation, of Participant Media, of CARE’s Global Advisory Council, of The Woodruff Arts Center and of the International Women’s Forum. She advises many social justice organizations, including Internews and Women Without Borders. In 2017, Pat Mitchell co-founded Connected Women Leaders, a cohort of women leaders across generations and geographies, who are problemsolving collectively the global challenges of climate crisis, food insecurity and access to global health.
Pat (left) in conversation with former Irish President Mary Robinson at the Skoll World Forum in 2017
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On February 18, 2023, at the infamous Braves Stadium Delta 360 Room, she adds to her legacy, as she is honored by the global nonprofit Saprea— for her advocacy work on behalf of survivors of child sexual abuse. The event features a VIP Founder’s Party; a live and silent auction; and a live band featuring The Regulators, with dancing; as well as exclusive personal photos with the Atlanta Braves World Series Trophy. In her own words, Pat shares her personal perspective on the impact of Saprea’s mission work and resources. “Throughout my career, I have worked to elevate women's and girls' stories and ideas. In my advocacy work, I support efforts to dismantle the barriers to full equality they see in their own lives, and to embrace risk to create a more equitable world." >
Pat Mitchell in conversation with Billie Jean King at the 2015 TEDWomen Conference
She continues, "Incest is the most secret of sexual violence crimes and in many ways, it is the most tragic. It betrays the innocent love of a child, and it destroys all trust in a family. And it’s happening much more frequently than we ever knew. One in five children is sexually abused before reaching age eighteen. In the US alone, this equates to more than one million children who will be sexually abused this year. Worldwide, the numbers are staggering—in the hundreds of millions. "This is one of the reasons that I am so pleased and honored to serve as the 2023 Honoree for the International Saprea Gala on February eighteenth. Saprea exists to liberate individuals and society from child sexual abuse and its lasting impacts. For survivors like myself, I believe that we cannot move forward without facing the abuse in our past. Pat Mitchell tells of her own experience with abuse in her book, Becoming a Dangerous Woman. "I shared my personal story in my memoir, to raise awareness of the vast number of women (and men) carrying the lasting wounds and pain of incest, who are coping with this violence and violation in their lives now. "In my own journey, therapy gave me a new understanding about the lasting impact of this ultimate violation of trust—this theft of unconditional love from a child who needed it to be able to separate simply being loved from needing to do something to earn love. This was a critical understanding that I now apply to all the rest of the choices I make about my life and my work." >
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Pat Mitchell in conversation with Nancy Pelosi at the 2016 TEDWomen Conference
Pat Mitchell (4th from left, front row) with members of the Connected Women Leaders annual forum in 2020
"Saprea provides vitally important coping strategies, education, support, and techniques to help survivors in their healing process. Through the generous support of donors, all their services are free, which is so necessary—because sexual abuse harms children from all walks of life no matter their economic status.” < Learn more about Saprea at www.saprea.org including survivor retreats, healing webinars, online resources, support groups, prevention, and community education. Saprea is dedicated to educating our communities, protecting our children, and healing our society. For information about the gala, email lsmith@saprea.org. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 62
Saprea.org
To learn more regarding our free healing resources, or to apply: VISIT SAPREA.ORG
It's business,
Darling BY CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN
Every CEO comes to a crossroads where they must ask themselves: Will I continue to be the only driving force keeping my business alive? Or, will I build a high-performing team to maximize my company’s ability to reach the next level? —LAKEISHA ROBICHAUX
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Lakeisha Robichaux is an enormous asset to many people she comes in contact with, and in all areas of her wonderful life—a life she envisioned and intentionally created for herself. I loved that immediately before speaking about being CEO of Chief of Minds LLC (COM), the company she founded to serve as an outsourced human resources (HR) firm, she wanted me to know about her faith and family.
With no question, to build a successful and sustainable business, you must grow beyond yourself.
"First and foremost," she began, "What's near and dear to my heart is being a child of God. I am a wife, and the mother of two handsome boys, Brian, and Braden—my pride and my joy, as I like to call them. And," she added in somewhat of a serious tone, "I am the CEO and founder of Chief of Minds." In addition to this, Lakeisha seems honored to tell me that she is a daughter, a sister, a friend, a best friend, and a leader. All at the same time, she is a speaker and an author. As an asset to others, Lakeisha explained, "Sometimes that's giving advice, lending a helping hand, offering a shoulder to cry on, growing and scaling a company for business owners, or helping them stay compliant inside of their business." Indeed, this dynamic woman does wear multiple hats in her full life. She told me she "enjoys doing each and every one of them, and thrives off of it." She is a dynamic highachiever, and masters almost everything she sets her intentions on—which typically falls into the realm of serving others. >
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Chloé: You're doing a lot of wonderful things, Lakeisha. Do you feel that everything you're doing comes from the essence of who you are? From a higher source? Or are you picking and choosing what feels good now, or the latest "new thing"? Lakeisha: I think it all comes from the essence of who I am, and I am choosing. Years ago, I would say yes to anything businesswise, or to things other people would ask me to be involved in. But now, I'm more strategic. I'm aware of what serves me best, what serves my family best, and what serves my personal life best—because I can't be everything to everybody. So, I am very intentional with what I do. It may seem like there are a lot of hats, but that comes with experience and wanting to help others. But now absolutely I do not take on everything that comes to me. I am very intentional with that—making sure that it aligns with what I do and who I am. Chloé: When did you realize you wanted to create and manage your own business? Lakeisha: Interestingly, I have always wanted to be a business owner—since I was a little girl. I started off wanting to be an attorney—I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up. I just wanted to be in business. When I was six years old, I would write up and design flyers and put them in my neighbors' mailboxes letting them know I would rake their leaves. I always had ideas. I used to ask myself, "How can I make money? How can I have a business?" I just really liked the idea of managing and leading a business—and of course, making money. The neighbors just thought it was cute, and they would just give me money for saying I would do this and that for them. As I got older, at school, I would bring candy and chips to school to sell, until I got in trouble. Yes, I used to take them in one of my dad’s old briefcases to school, already setting the tone to be this business woman—the lawyer, the attorney— because I just loved it. Chloé: Well, at that rate you must have been rolling in the dough by the time you went to college—starting out so early. Lakeisha: When I was in college, I actually started my first LLC, an online boutique where I sold clothes and shoes out of my dorm room.
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So, I've always had a passion for entrepreneurship and business. I was so excited about getting started that I graduated within three years, with two bachelor's degrees and a minor—within a span of three years. I started working for a Fortune 500 company in corporate America in Human Resources. Then, in 2006, I started my own staffing business, which was great. But when the economy took a downturn in 2009, it hurt the business. There were many lessons that I learned—from a marketing standpoint, for sure, as well as about the client pipeline. Chloé: Impressive. Where did you go to college? Lakeisha: UNO—the University of New Orleans. Chloé: You seem to also be a woman who loves challenges. Lakeisha: Yes, I have always loved challenges. I was accused of being insane in college by taking on twenty-four credit hours in one semester. People were like, "Who does that?" It was a lot. But it was a challenge to me, and it was exciting to take on something like that and finish school within three years. When most people took five years to get one degree, it took me three years to get two degrees and a minor. So, yes, I've always been driven by challenges.
Lakeisha went on to tell me that once she graduated and started working for Fortune 500 companies, she started building up her human resources experience—especially regarding recruiting and staffing. Then she resigned and opened her own staffing company. Guess who her first client was: the company she had just resigned from. During this time, Lakeisha had her first child. Her priorities had changed—and because of her excellence in everything she does, the company was very supportive and appreciative of what she had delivered as an employee and they became her first client. That's badass. She started the company from her home and quickly grew, expanding into office space. She first offered permanent staffing, then expanded into temporary and contract staffing. But there was a problem. She wasn't paying attention to marketing. She had great clients, she had signed up for influential associations, and she was doing well. However, she wasn't keeping new clients coming through the pipeline. I asked her how she moved beyond that. >
I had the concept, but didn't take advantage of marketing and advertising.
Lakeisha: I got comfortable with what I had, but that didn't work because I had to keep that pipeline open and moving to sustain the business when the economy took a downturn in 2009. That hurt my business. Clients stopped outsourcing and started bringing those types of services in-house. I was late to the party in trying to get more clients. Other companies had already secured their clients and they were staying with them. So, I closed the business and went back into corporate America. Chloé: How did you feel, making the decision to close your business? Lakeisha: I was upset. I was hurt. I said I wouldn't do it again. I was like, "This is it, entrepreneurship!" I wanted to make sure I had a steady paycheck. I was done with it. but my husband kept telling me that I was not. "You love entrepreneurship," he told me. "But I hear you right now, at this moment in time." It wasn't hard for me to get a job. I had the experience and determination, and I had always been very committed, hardworking, and I loved challenges. So, I went back into corporate. But I knew where I had messed up. I saw that my error was on the marketing side. I had the concept but didn't take advantage of marketing and advertising. The concept of "if you build it, they will come" was not the case for me— especially once I incurred more expenses by getting my office space. I was thinking, "Oh, I'm in my office now, and we've grown, and we will grow more, and the phones will ring off the hook." No, it didn't work like that for me, and it just doesn't work like that. I had to get back out there and get it. It took some time after going back into corporate America, but as I said earlier, the last company that I worked for was a great set-up for where I am now. It was Dollar General. I was their Regional HR Director.
From there, Lakeshia was recruited by the Superintendent of Schools in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. He told her, "I need someone to come and build my HR Department from the grassroots, and I want it to be you." Lakeshia became the Executive Director and Human Resources Director at Recovery School District, overseeing the central office and ten district-run schools. She also managed several Memoranda of Understanding (MOUs)—coordinating school-justice partnerships in school districts of the surrounding areas. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 67
Within only four months working in that position, she was promoted to run everything outside of New Orleans that encompasses the state of Louisiana—running operations, education, human resources, transportation, finance—everything. And since she had been there since the beginning—worked in all the departments, with all the employees really coming to her, surpassing their leaders—it was a no-brainer that she would be the Executive Director of Baton Rouge and beyond. On top of that, Lakeshia became the Superintendent of Schools' Chief of Staff, playing both roles. She told me, "We did a great job. We built out the HR Department, built our Payroll Department, processed payroll, and managed all of the operations." Part of Lakeisha's job was meeting with Charter School executives, CEOs, and Superintendents. It wasn't before long that they wanted to recruit her. And this is when the light bulb went off in her entrepreneurial head. She saw that the demand was there, and being the savvy businesswoman that she is, she thought, "Instead of them hiring me directly, I'll be a consultant. They can hire me as a consultant—not as an employee." And they were thrilled. It didn't matter to them—as long as they had the opportunity to work with her. "And so," she concluded, "out of the demand, Chief of Minds was born. We have consistently grown from there. I saw their needs and filled them. They needed staffing, employee handbooks, payroll, and employee group benefits; they also needed training and development. They needed all of these different services from an HR standpoint. Chief of Minds was there to offer those services, because I
started with what I know how to do. I like seeing the positive results of what my employees and I provide for our clients. Accountability has to be at the top." <
Chief of Minds now has eight employees and serves as an outsourced HR firm providing innovative human resources, compliance solutions. and more. Lakeisha has expanded services— launching two additional companies, Chief of Minds Staffing and Chief of Minds Insurance. COM’s professionals possess over thirty-five years of human resources and management experience in establishing the development, growth, and compliance of organizations and HR departments. COM’s companies offer staffing and recruitment, HR management, payroll, unemployment claims management, benefits administration, training, development, and much more.
Lakeisha Robichaux is the author of Beyond the CEO: How to Build, Engage, and Retain a High-Performing Team, From One to Hundreds of Employees
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in conversation with
by Paula G. Voice FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 70
Paula G.: Shandraya, when I began to think about who I wanted to feature for this particular edition of Flourish Digital Magazine, you came to mind because you have what I believe to be an incredible journey, which I know will be inspiring and encouraging. So, please share with our readers a snapshot of your journey to becoming the woman that you are today. Shandraya: It's so much, but I'll try to keep it brief while painting a clear picture. I was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Both of my parents struggled with drug addiction, and they actually spent most of my life incarcerated. My maternal grandmother was raising us, and we lived in a family duplex. My older brothers are fourteen and twelve years older than I am, and they rented the upstairs duplex. My grandmother rented out the lower-level duplex, which is where she took care of me and my other siblings, cousins, you name it. It was about twenty of us all together in what felt like a big family household. We dealt with a lot of things—like the police coming in and out of our home. That wasn't uncommon, but it was around when I was nine years old, I think, when the final straw happened. Before that, my brother had been shot by the police. There were some other reports, and social workers started to get involved around then, and that's when they sent us to be with our other grandmother—our paternal grandmother. We were with her for a little bit, and then we wanted to go back—because, of course, my maternal grandmother’s place was the only home I ever really knew. Yes, I saw my nana, my paternal grandmother. I would see her on the weekends, and I knew her. But home for me was always with my mother's mother. When I was nine years old, my little brother fell from the second-story window, and that was the last straw. That was when the social workers saw that we couldn't be in this home, because otherwise we were going to go to foster care and be separated. They started the process to put us into foster care. Between one of my aunts and my nana, they really had to pull it together at the last minute to make sure that we weren't put into the system, separated, and sent to live with strangers. So, when I was nine years old, we moved with my nana to Georgia—where my other aunts and uncle lived, where she would have support. That’s how I ended up moving from Wisconsin to Georgia. I think for me, because it happened so abruptly, there wasn't a lot of time to process being taken away from the only thing that I ever knew. But then also, I was being thrown into a different state with a different culture. My dad's family is drastically different from my mother's family. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 71
They're like night and day. So there was a lot to process. I think I was a very mature child, but I was still a child, right? So, I was mature in the sense that I understood that, as the older of the last four of my mother's children, I had to be the big sister. I had to protect my siblings, my two little sisters and my little brother. But I was still a child. I was angry, and so I would get into trouble at school, and I didn't really feel at home with my family. I found therapy in writing. That's something that my nana taught me— the love of books and writing. That’s something that I just gravitated toward. For me, that was my outlet. Paula G.: So for you, at such a young age, you really did not have time to process it, or maybe even did not have the wherewithal to process it. But you had to endure so much at such a young age. Yet you had that inner instinct to be the protector—to take care of your younger siblings. That just speaks volumes to the child you were, introduced to writing as something that allowed you—at least to some degree—to process what you were going through. So, you began writing at an early age. Share with us a bit of what kinds of things you wrote about. Shandraya: I was deeply reflective, and so I wrote a lot about family. And I realized then that I wrote about family as I understood it. And as I continued to experience life in Georgia—in a different environment around people who had families that weren't as fractured as mine—I started to see that I had a limited view of what family was. I thought it was normal to visit my parents in prison, and I thought it was normal for so many people to live in one household. In a way, it is normal. I don't want to say that having multiple generations in one family house is abnormal, but it's certainly not what most everyone else is doing. Some cultures do it, and it's just fine—and they do it well. But for us, there was so much conflict and drama within the household. And the way that we responded to conflict in that household, it was violent. And that was not normal. And so, I would write about the things that I saw. And it took me some time, as I was going back and reading my poems, or my journal entries. I realized that I have a narrow view of what a family looks like. And the more that I was exposed to healthy family structures, I started to dream of other things for myself. >
"I made up my mind that I wanted a peaceful home."
Paula G.: Wow, I have to pause there for a moment. You started to dream about other things for yourself. It's important to really note that—because throughout life, there can be two little girls who are in a similar situation, yet they will manifest that experience, due to their feelings about it, in different ways. I love what you just said. You realized, even at such an early age, you knew you wanted something better for yourself. And that you had to do things differently to arrive at that better place for yourself. And you have done a phenomenal job. Share with our readers a bit about how you made that transition. Shandraya: Oh, thank you. You know what? I made that transition by just making up my mind. That seems really simple, and I recognize that it's not as easy as it sounds. Because here's the thing: After spending so much time in Georgia, I was allowed to go back to visit my family in Milwaukee for the summer, and I saw things through new eyes. Oh, the things they would say to me, like, "Oh, you sound like a White girl." I had naturally started talking more like my father's family. The more I was exposed to a different atmosphere, the more I'd started to do things a little bit differently than I was used to when I was growing up in Milwaukee. And so, my family would say "You do this and that like a White girl." But really what was happening to me was that I had been exposed to a different way of life. I made up my mind that I wanted a peaceful home. I wanted to have my own bedroom with my own bed. And I knew that one day I wanted to be able to own my own home and drive a nice car. I made up my mind that this is what I wanted. And once I decided that that's what I wanted, I started to do as much research as I could on how you obtain this lifestyle. I asked questions like, "What's required of me to get there?" I wasn't perfect. I still made mistakes, but I really was intently watching and comparing. When you're young and you're in school, one of the first diagrams they teach you is comparing and contrasting. I really was evaluating my different families—comparing and contrasting. I saw, "OK, these people, they're doing X, Y, and Z, and they're ending up in prison. And this family over here, they're going to college, and we're able to go on trips to the beach, and we're able to celebrate together, and simply have happy family time together." This isn’t to say there weren’t discriminatory systemic obstacles in place that influenced the dysfunction of my mother’s family. However, neither side of my family comes from wealthy origins. It was obvious to me that certain lifestyle choices aided in the progression of my father’s family.
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"There is a room in this world for all the fire that's within you." Shandraya: I continued just comparing and contrasting. And again, I made up my mind about the life that I wanted. So I figured out the things I had to do to get there. Paula G.: And like you said, it sounds simple, but it really is so powerful. It just drives home the point of my platform for all these years on radio and television: It's a mindset journey. The tagline for my radio show and television show is: The greatest conversation you will ever have is the one that takes place in between your ears. What are you speaking now to yourself? That conversation determines the trajectory of your life, and Shandraya, you have just shared with our readers the magnitude of something that may sound so simple: You just made up your mind! Absolutely. That's the conversation in between your ears. We see how your life has manifested—because you realized what you didn't want to do. And then you said to yourself, "I realize what I do want. I have no idea how to do this but I'm going to research, and figure it out so that I can manifest and actualize that vision." Powerful, powerful, powerful. Yes, ma'am. So now that you're still on this incredible journey, share with our readers where you are now. Shandraya: Today, I am an author and an entrepreneur. I have a bachelor's degree in Communication. I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I am literally all of the things that I've spent so many days praying to God about. I've prayed to be the woman that I am today. I've worked to be the woman that I am today. Some days I sit in tears—and they're really tears of gratitude, though, because I remember where I was, and I remember wanting to be right where I am today. Paula G.: You have manifested it! Yes, all of those things you wanted, and you went after each thing. It's really a complete transformation—an utter transformation from where you were to where you are. Writing, which started out as therapy—as an escape—now has turned into you being an author and an entrepreneur. And I bet you are looking forward to all of these things that will manifest in the future in your life, because you've already demonstrated so much. When we see something that we desire to do, when we understand how to have a vision for it— like the Word says, "Write the vision, and make it plain" [Habakkuk 2:2]—then we can actualize our dreams, our vision. >
Paula G., continued: Tell us about your book. Shandraya: My book is called God's Eyes Were Watching Us. It's poetry and prose, and I am so proud of this book because it takes a lot to be vulnerable. I put out some of my deepest thoughts into poetry and prose form—just in case anybody else out there could relate to it. And already I've received feedback from people who are telling me how much these words have touched them. I’m so grateful for being able to be in a place where emotionally I could share these words with the world. Paula G.: We're having this conversation, and I'm thinking about a question that I often ask my guests, but I'm sitting here thinking, "This is the first guest whom I don't have to ask the question, because I know the answer. I believe I know the answer. But I'll ask it anyway: If you could go back and speak to the nine-year-old you—whatever age you desire to select—if you could go back and sit in front of her and speak to her, what would you say to encourage her? Based on what you've said about your journey, I don't know that you even needed to encourage her, because she had already made up her mind. Is there something you'd say to her? Shandraya: You know what? Actually, there is something that I would say to her. I would tell her, "There is room in this world for all the fire that's within you." As a child I was fire. But, you know, as I've gotten older, I've realized that there's a place for people with my kind of passion. I am a passionate person, and that's what that fire is. Whenever I am building relationships with people, my relationships are genuine and sincere. I'm passionate about people. I love people deeply. And whatever work I'm doing, I do it well—because I care about it. I've realized that at the core of me, I'm a good person. Maybe I haven't always known the right way to resolve a conflict or how to handle a particular situation. But I've learned how to do that as an adult. But as a child, I got feedback from people I respected. Sometimes, I would hear things like, "Oh Shandraya, you're so disrespectful," or, "you're such a trouble-starter." There were all the things that sometimes we tell young Black girls. This fire got me to where I am. I just want people to know—and it's what I needed to hear back then: There's enough room in this world for all the fire that's within you. Paula G.: That is a beautiful place for us to pause. Let's allow our readers to marinate on that, as we bring our conversation to a close. It's been such a joy to talk with you. And I'm looking forward to what the future holds for you as you continue to flourish. <
I am Paula G. Voice AKA Lady Wisdom—a sagacious independent lifestyle influencer, embracing my journey. I influence dreamers to do the same by breathing life into their vison and ultimately the manifestation of the same. It is never too late to embrace your journey and live your dream. Flourish! WWW.PAULAGVOICE.COM
PAULA G VOICE
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@PAULAGVOICE
INTENTIONAL
talk
A fun way of calling things that are not here yet as though they already are—because you have awareness of what you are doing—purposely. >
A CONVERSATION BETWEEN MAMBWE JANET KAMANGA, CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN & LAURIE RENFRO FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 74
CHLOÉ TAYLOR BROWN'S CONVERSATION ON BEING INTENTIONAL TO FLOURISH— WITH MAMBWE KAMANGA & LAURIE RENFRO
Living an abundant life starts with being clear about your intentions and what you sincerely want in life. Let's examine what intention really means. INTENTION: A determination to act in a certain way; a course of action that one intends to follow; an aim that guides action; an objective. SYNONYMS: intention, intent, purpose, goal, end, aim, object, objective. These nouns refer to what one plans to do or achieve. Intention simply signifies a course of action that one proposes to follow. For instance, it is certainly my intention to empower young women and girls through my Girl-Swag initiatives. It is also my intention to inspire and empower the teams within the organizations that I work with. It’s up to us. We get to choose our intentions. Learn how to set your intentions based on the true desires of your heart—your passions.
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THE GIRL-SWAG PROJECT Coaching & Training for Girls to Become Confident, Dynamic Young Women SEE PAGE 17 FOR MORE INFORMATION CHLOETAYLORBROWN.COM
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GREAT IS THE HUMAN WHO HAS NOT LOST HIS CHILDLIKE HEART.
—MENCIUS
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WE'RE CLAPPING FOR
Amber Collins-Brown by Chloé Taylor Brown
That duality, that dynamic mess of me, was what could help me put my footprint on the world. Amber Collins-Brown is a strategist at heart who loves utilizing technology and dissecting social behavior. She has a wide range of talents—like data analysis, gathering requirements to streamline systems, and managing projects to optimize the revenue process. Born in England to a US Airman and a Brit, she spent her childhood navigating the duality that inherently rules her life: She calls herself a classic Libra. Amber moved to Atlanta from Northern Virginia in 2014 after meeting her husband Jarrod. Along with their cat, Pilot, they have enjoyed seeing the city grow from their home in West Midtown. She graduated from Clark Atlanta University with a degree in Fashion Merchandising, which led to a comprehensive career across marketing in many different industries. In 2022, Amber graduated from Georgia State University with an Executive Master’s degree in Business Administration as one of the youngest in her cohort. She believes there are many paths to achieving one's goals. Her recent venture is joining Laine London, a Black women–founded bridal industry start-up, as the Head of Revenue. When she is not looking for opportunities to improve people, processes and technology, she enjoys real estate investing, hosting parties for her friends, reading about Atlanta history, thrifting and all kinds of international foods. > FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 78
Chloé: Amber, how did you become so successful, fabulous and savvy—in your twenties and early thirties? Amber: I really credit my parents because they are dynamic people themselves. I was born in England on a US Air Force base. My father had been in the Air Force for several years before he met my mother in England. They got married and then they were married for several years before they had me, I being the first of two daughters. Then we moved from England to America. The entire mother's side of my family is in England. So I always grew up with that duality—of being Black in America and then of being of mixed race in England, which never really affected me. We lived in the countryside of England, so I didn't go to London until I was in my twenties. Even then the most we would stay was two days, which meant I had almost no knowledge of London. Mostly I have experienced only the quiet life of English country life. Chloé: Where did you grow up in England? Amber: When I was visiting, I would come to my grandmother's house. They lived in a little village called Overton, which was right outside of a town called Bayesian Stoke. That was an hour away from London, from an airport. We would take the bus or train, and they would pick us up and then stay in that area. Every time we would go to England, we would do more historical stuff. I was going to visit my elderly grandparents, which meant they're not necessarily going to the pub. When we were young kids, we were visiting Roman village architectural digs, and going to see Stonehenge, and seeing castles. Once, we went to a cemetery that had our ancestor from France—from a thousand years ago. My grandmother had done some ancestry stuff. So every time we went over there, we experienced this sort of immersive history—and a more sloweddown, simpler life. My grandparents would always wonder about us, "Why do they eat so much? Why are they so loud? Why do they have so much energy?" Honestly, that's the difference between us and them. That's how Americans appeared to them over there. Chloé: So your grandparents from England thought that American kids eat a lot and they're loud—and that you guys were the epitome of American kids? Amber: That's right. Because American portion sizes are bigger, our cars are bigger, and our consumption is higher. So truly they were always having to try to wrap their head around how FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 79
different we were from the rest of their grandchildren. My sister and I are the first grandchildren on that side, but we're the last grandchildren on my dad's side. So I really experienced this sort of duality in every single part of my life. Chloé: Have you blended that together? Amber: When I was a kid, I struggled with it—and I know my sister did too—but I think that we were different. Even though we had the same parents and upbringing, we struggled with different things. It was just me and my sister when we got into our teenage years. And you know what teenage girls are like. I didn’t want to be around my sister who was two years younger. "Go get your own identity," I thought. We struggled with that. It was just sort of normal when we were little. But when we got older, I realized that you have to decide who you're going to be, and how you identify. You really start to look at it like, "Well, why can't I be both?" And I think that's probably the foundation for me—that I am both so I can be both. Chloé: Do you still have that struggle—here in America? Also, when you go back to visit your family in England, do you feel that it's OK now? Or you don't seem to notice much? Amber: No, there's no struggle now. I think I've embraced it. I think that I've come to realize that I have a very non-traditional, uncommon outlook. When I was younger, I would feel a little bit anxious, whereas now I understand the unique value that I bring to the rooms I'm in. And that's what makes you interesting. Right? I've got so many stories about being in Europe—all the international travel I've done —including how I view food, togetherness and hosting. It's all very European—good food and good wine. I love to host. And we get dressed up when we do this hosting. But if I throw a party here, here, I'm like, "Yeah, I'm extra." That's just who I am, and my friends always say, “You're a great host, and you've got great food and great this and that, and you've decorated, and you're dressed up, and I'm here. And I didn't get the memo about the dress!” And I say, "Listen, this is how we do it, honey." I grew up with a mother whose birthday was Halloween. We always do a Christmas dinner that comes with Christmas crackers, and we always have a taste of champagne on New Year's. That’s what I realized. That the duality, that dynamic mess of me, was what could help me put my footprint on the world. I really embraced it. Yes, being half Black and half White, there's all these different things that I can bring to the situation—but it also brings me empathy. >
Amber: That duality leads me to look at both sides. I'm a classic Libra, so that's a little bit natural for me, too. Where did I grow up? I grew up in Northern Virginia. When I was just a year old, we moved to Northern Virginia, which is where my grandparents and my aunts, uncles and cousins on my dad's side all lived. Growing up, the majority of my holidays was spent with my Black family, because we visited England only every two years. We had all the soul food. But my grandmother—who passed a little under a year and a half ago—she taught me how to be a Black woman: how to take care of my hair, my skin, how to cook. Oh, and her hosting, too! She was a great host. She embraced everybody from all walks of life. Even though I'm sure she had experienced some pretty crappy situations in her life as a Black woman. She was a single mother, who then married an Army man, who then took her all around the world. She was born in a shotgun house in North Carolina. I really think that the experiences of the people who raised me have all poured into me to put me in this position. I always say, "What you know and how you are raised is either the reason why you don't do something or it's the reason why you do that something." Chloé: How would you describe yourself now? I'm a coach in my day-to-day life, in my real life, so I'm always wanting to know: How would you describe yourself in just a few words?
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Amber: Let me think about that. Well, I would say: "I walk in who I am and in my truth, so that I can be an example for others to do that as well." Chloé: So you're saying that about how you're being now. You feel that your parents did a great job of pouring into you—and your grandparents, and the community—they poured into you for you so that you can now choose who you want to be as a woman. And now you are this grown, beautiful, intelligent, sexy, thriving, flourishing woman! You have chosen to tell me about that. Amber: And to be unapologetic about it. I did have anxiety for a while when I was in my early twenties. And I don't know how, but one day I just woke up and it sort of hit me. I'm out here and I am myself, and I am unapologetic and loud. I'm taking risks and I am dressing how I want to, and I'm doing this. this. What I realized is that I felt like my anxiety was so visible. Yet there are a lot of people who are walking around with anxiety. And sometimes they need somebody ready to be in the room with them, and just be like, "You know what? This is who I am." And you know what? I'm loud. You know what? I like to do this. You know what? I like to dress like this. I don't have a particular style—because I like to try new things. So sometimes people just need permission to say, "I want to do that too." >
Amber, continued: When I used to have anxiety about being social or outgoing, I would look back and I would say to myself, "OK, well, 'You know what?'" And I've had so many people say to me, "I'm glad you are the way you are. You inspire me." I needed to put myself out there so that I would just automatically—just naturally in the fray—show other people that it's OK to do that.
It changed everything. It was like I was finally given permission—that I could be my whole thing. "You mean I can be who I want to be? You mean I can just do what I want to?"
Chloé: I grew up in Mississippi. Some of the best advice I got was when I was twenty-two or twentythree, was around when I met my future husband. We met in college. And we both had big dreams. I was going to be a model, and he was going to be a basketball player. But it didn't just happen by itself. We were very intentional about it and we just had what it would take to do that. We worked hard.
So I want you to talk about your career. How did you get to where you are now?
When I first moved to California and was becoming a model in San Francisco, I just didn't know how to be. I was trying so hard, and all I needed was a few role models. My agent was a guy. They were doing a great job. But you know how you just need some big sisters? Or some auntie? Or just somebody who knows what you're trying to work toward? I didn't have that. Even though I had people who cared about me, they just didn't understand that. So, I got really depressed. But I was smart enough to know that I needed some help. I found a psychologist in the Yellow Pages. I'm getting to your point: I went to the psychologist. I went only four times, but by the fourth time he knew me—because all I did was pour out my misery—crying and sobbing for the first three. We finally started having a little dialogue. And then he said two things that set me up to be who I wanted to become. He said, "First, you don't have to do what your parents want you to do anymore, because you're a grown woman, and you have done everything required of you as a child." And I was thinking, "Why? For real?" Because truly, one of the struggles for me was that my parents didn't understand me wanting to be a model. They were thinking that, right after college, you get a job, and you do this thing, because that's what you went to school for. So, that just freed me up. I was like, "Wow, really?" And then he said, "You are afraid to be the best model you can be, because you think that the other models are going to say, 'Who does that bitch think she is?'" And I was stunned. "Oh, my goodness!" It was as though he was reading my mind. I'm sure I must have told him everything to get him to understand all that. But really, it was just those two pieces of advice. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 81
Sometimes, unless we grow up like you did—with people pouring into you—we need someone to just say, "Hey, you can be who you want to be!"
Amber: I've taken the best parts of all these people. My parents are still people. My grandparents are still people. Deeply flawed people. Everybody's flawed. I've taken the best part of all of them. When I was about twenty-five, part of what getting rid of my anxiety meant was that I sort of did exactly what your therapist told you to do: I said, "I have to heal from my childhood." We all have things that trigger us. But we have to decide who we want to be. So I took the best out of all of them, and I left the rest. And I forgave them for the rest. My little sister—she's two years younger—and she's very triggered by our parents. She was told we were opposite when we were growing up. I was identifying with Black kids, and she was identifying with White kids. I landed a modeling contract in New York. In the last four years, she's lost 120 pounds. So you can imagine what she was dealing with. But when I was about twenty-five, I really said, "I'm going to take the best and leave the rest—and I'm going to forgive them for the rest." I moved away. It was easier for me to say, "I love you for your best, and I'm leaving the rest" when I didn't live with them anymore. My mother just recently spent some time in my sister's house, and they were fighting. And I told them, “You two have got to really figure it out. Because you're adults now. You need to communicate. You need to forgive. You're not perfect.” So, I see that my sister is doing that now. She had a completely different trajectory in her life, and I understand that. But absolutely I've said, "You have to heal from your childhood." >
We all have things that trigger us. But we have to decide who we want to be. So I took the best out of all of them, and I left the rest.
Amber, continued: I tell my sister, "You cannot act like that little girl, who feels like everybody thinks that she's fat and incapable. Because you are beautiful. You are healthy." She's obsessed with it now. But I say, "You are in your dream job, and you have been for awhile. You own a home. You're a grown woman. Stop reverting back to that little girl." I think that's what was causing a lot of anxiety when I was in my early twenties. I told myself that I was going to heal from my childhood, and I'm going to forgive my parents. After that, a lot of my anxiety did go away and I flourished. To the point where I went back to school and I finished my degree, here in Atlanta. I bought a house in Atlanta, and I was working at several agencies. I was doing freelancing for a while. Let's take it back. I met my husband Jarrod when I was twenty-three, and at the time, I was working in a corporate job. I had an Associate's degree in it because that's what my dad had taught me. And so I was working in It. I was an administrator. And I got so bored that I started a blog. Between 2010 and 2011, I started blogging at work—at my corporate job that afforded me my house and my sports car. Chloé: Your corporate job paid for your lifestyle, for your life.
I told myself that I was going to heal from my childhood, and I'm going to forgive my parents. After that, a lot of my anxiety did go away and I flourished. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 82
Amber: That's right. I was making the most money of anybody that I knew, my age. I had a little crisis that maybe a lot of people have when they're older —when they wake up and say, "I'm just going through the motions. I'm running in the rat race." Well, I was twenty-two when I felt like that. Chloé: You bought your first house at the age of twenty-two? >
Be the best YOU. Amber: Yes. My mother is a realtor. Anything my parents were, I just amplified. My father was an IT. Now I'm his IT. My mother's a realtor. Now I'm a homeowner. So I was just amplifying the tools that they had. But then I found myself at twenty-two. I had this obligation of a mortgage. I had this obligation of a car payment. I had this obligation to pursue this career in corporate because that's what my dad wanted me to do. I just said to myself, "I don't have a husband and I don't have kids. If I don't do something now, I'm going to be stuck in this forever. Now is the time to pivot. Now is the time to make a move." Chloé: How did you pivot? What did you do? Amber: I met Jarrod in 2012. He was in college at George Washington, and he looked like he was having so much fun. So much fun! He had all these great friends—they were having parties, and he was just living around the city. So I said to myself, "I'm going to go back to school." First I finished up some electives at the community college, and then I had to decide what my Bachelor's was going to be in. I had done brand ambassadorship and modelling when I was a teenager. So I really wanted to do marketing in the first place. But I didn't have anybody to tell me what I could do with marketing. So, my dad said, "Just do it!" You always have a job. And I said OK. I realized that just always having a job could equal being absolutely miserable. And that's not how my parents taught me to be. I did some night school at the community college, and I got a 4.0. I was much more prepared and ready to go through with it because I wasn't an eighteen-year-old girl who was just working and going to school and just going through the motions. Chloé: So you were able to get a corporate IT job without any college? Was that because your father helped you to get into that—he encouraged you? And you went out to get the job. Amber: Yes, he had taught me. And then my first IT job was actually at his doctor's offices, so he got me a desk job at the doctor's office. So that was my experience. I've actually been working since I was fifteen years old. Wow. I was a lifeguard, and I was a nanny, and I worked at David's Bridal for a little bit— before I said, "I can't do this retail stuff. I don't want to do this nanny stuff." And my dad said, "Come on, come be helpful." FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 83
After I moved, that semester that I did community college, I decided I was going to do fashion merchandising. I got into a local school there called Marymount University. I did a semester there before Jarrod asked me, "Would you move to Atlanta?" And I said, "You know what? I've taken a lot of risks in the last year. I'm still young. I still don't have kids. I still don't have a husband. I'm going to make the move!" So I left my mother to live in my house, and she paid that mortgage—and I moved to Atlanta. And I transferred to Clark Atlanta, which had Fashion Merchandising, and I got it. So that's why my parents were like, "Well, that's what you went to school for, Fashion Merchandising Design. You have to go." I did an internship in California for school, which was at a little retail store, and right away, they hired me as their Assistant Manager. In their mind, I was going to become Manager, and then District Manager. There are people like that, who are putting these expectations and obligations on you. Really, they just want the best for you—but their view of the best is still very limited. They just could not understand that. One day I said, “Hey, I'm going to be going to Milan to work for Versace.” I saw the biggest, wildest look on their faces. Like, "Oh, my gosh, she's lost her mind." I excelled in that degree. I got a 3.7. I graduated with Honors that time. Before when I was doing it, I was barely scraping by with a 2.5. So that tells you the difference. Chloé: You were in your song. Amber: Exactly. I was in my flow. I was in my passion. Once you get a taste for that, it's really hard to say, "Well, I'll just settle for this, or OK, I'll settle for that." So that was a big catalyst moment in my life. From there, when I graduated, I started working for an SEO agency—because during the time that I had been writing that blog which I'd started back when I was bored, I'd learned about digital marketing. I knew that that's where I wanted to go. It seemed great for me because it was a mix of the technology, which I naturally adapted, and the marketing, which I was passionate about. I worked with an SEO agency for a little bit. They paid me $32,000 per year. I asked for a $3,000 raise so I could get a mortgage. And they were like, "How much more work are you going to take on?" And I said, it's $3,000. You pay me $32K. But I just want to get to $35K." >
Amber, continued: After that, it kind of went downhill from there, right? So I ended up transferring to a social media agency, and doing some freelance work on my own. At that time, I had the house in Virginia. I decided to sell that house and I made a really great profit off of it. I bought a house here in Atlanta—and I bought it for cash, so I was living rent-free. So that was another obligation I let go of that allowed me to be me and be free. While working at the social media agency, I decided, "OK, I'm tired of being freelance and chasing a check. I want some stability." So I got back into corporate. This was four years ago. I started working for a company that does background screenings. I was their digital marketing manager/strategist. It was great because I had a stable paycheck. But then they were like, "Every morning, you need to be here at 9:00 AM." I have a little problem being on time. And they said, "When you get here at 9:00 AM, we're going to stand in this big room, and we're going to stand where all the cubicles are and we're going to chant this chant." Just like that, alarms started going off in my head. Here we go again. This was uniformity. This conformity. This box—that just felt like it was getting smaller and smaller around me. And I was getting bigger and bigger. A recruiter soon reached out to me with a job, and it was the most money I had ever made. The commute was a little bit easier. They do retail environments. And I was going to be the Marketing Manager. So I took that job. It was still corporate, but I got one day a week remote, which was a step up as far as flexibility goes. Chloé: How long were you there? I'm fascinated by your continuous willingness to pivot. Amber: I was the Retail Manager there for a year, when I was approached by the Sales Leader who asked if I wanted to do Sales Operations. I cared about helping people, so I moved over to be the Sales Enablement Manager—that was two years ago. I started working for a boss I really admired. I've been at the company now for three and a half years. And I don't normally stay at any company for this long. This is the longest I've been at a company. >
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Chloé: But are you still there now? Amber: Yes, I'm there now but I've given my notice! In the entire time I was there, my best friend, London— she started a company called Laine London. It was a rental bridal gown company. She bootstrapped everything—she got grants from AmEx and Google. Last year, they became profitable. She comes to me and she goes, "My mentors are saying that I should raise in a year." She tells me she doesn’t want to wait a year. She says, "I'm going to start in June, and I want you to be a part of it." And I said, "Absolutely! I love the company, and I love you. I'm ready for something bigger, and new." Mind you, in this time frame, I had started my Executive MBA at Georgia State. Chloé: You have your MBA now, right? Amber: Yes. I graduated in April with my Executive MBA from Georgia State. London is actually the person who encouraged me to do the Executive MBA, not just the regular MBA. She also has an Executive MBA. She explained to me, "You don't want to be in there with twenty-four-year-olds. You have experience. So go and learn from people who have been in business for a long time." She was right. It was a great experience, and I learned a lot. I have a lot of new contacts. You know, their average tenure in their career is twenty years per person. That's wonderful. It actually helped with my confidence too, because when I was in class, I was vocal, and I was leading teams and I was getting feedback, like, "You're really good at this. You're really smart." And being the person I am, where I'm at, I think a lot of people were there to sort of build that network. I was also there for a lot of self-validation. And I got that. Chloé: So you went to Laine London. Amber: In January I'll be full time. I have been consulting with them for a year now. Chloé: And what will you be doing when you get there? Amber: I will be the Head of Revenue, which means I'm responsible for all Sales and Marketing channels. But when it comes down to the in-store retail operations and sales, I'll hold that responsibility jointly with the COO. So I'll be owning all of the online channels, and offline channels—basically all the marketing. And then it's my job to fill the pipeline and make sure that the online experience of the customer is consistent with the in-store experience. We'll want to bring back their experience through referrals and reviews, and try to increase the amount of purchases they make with us.
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Of course, since it's a wedding business, they purchase a wedding dress once. But now, it's my job to figure out what they can do for us afterwards— whether that's going with a partner purchase or some commissions that we can make, like recommending Amazon products. That's my job—to figure out. It's called the Customer Lifetime Value. I'll help figure out how we can increase that. Chloé: Wonderful. So tell me, moving into 2023, what's your heart's desire for the year? Amber: My desire is to meet our revenue goals. I've never been challenged like that before. There are a lot of factors that come into it, so I'm going to need to think creatively and I know that I'm going to really grow in that area. I'm going to be putting together some strategic partnerships. So I would love to meet people who are in start-ups, or people who are just past that start-up phase—individuals who I see myself in, who I can relate to, to help me shape and mold where I want to take my career and the goals that I have for the company. Personally, I want to save a lot of money and really do a massive renovation on my house. Because I want to be here for a long time. Jarrod and I, we want to think about starting a family at the end of next year. So a lot goes into that, financially and health-wise. I really want to take care of myself, take care of my family, and just be at tiptop shape—in all the areas that matter. In my health, and my mental health—in my capacity for all the things that are important to me—and to truly embrace the growth that's about to happen. It's going to be a challenge. If I can come up the other side in eighteen to twenty-four months, we'll be doing another raise. And that will drastically change what our team looks like. So I would love to grow as a manager. Chloé: "Another raise"? What does that mean? Amber: We'll be doing another funding round. Hopefully, if we raised a million dollars this round, I think that the next round would probably be between like ten and fifteen, maybe eight to ten—but I know that ten would really be great for us. I want to shift my mindset to be about how you get the company there—rather than looking at what we have right now. Because that's what's going to make me a great leader in this space. I want to grow as a manager. I actually have direct reports now, which is actually a first for me—liaisons on teams, and led teams. >
Self-awareness is key. Amber, continued: With all all the experience that I've had, in thinking about the different ways that I've come together to shape who I am, and with the different paths that I've tried in my career, I really want to be able to impart that to the teams. Right now, my team is some young ladies who are very social-focused, and I've got the broader experience. I'm looking forward to whoever else we bring onto the team, and their experience. And I just want to learn from everybody. We have a really great group of people on the leadership team, and there's so much to learn from them. For me, there are all these growing seasons in life, and this is definitely one of them. But I've already also noticed that despite all of this and despite my confidence in other areas of life, one thing I'm going to have to work on this year is sort of just— being OK. Not owning everything. And being OK with that. With the uncertainty that a start-up is. And being OK to let other people handle some stuff that maybe I should be involved with. I have to say, this is the time where I will get a little less controlling. Even though there's a lot to be done, and there's a lot to own, there's also a part of you that has to let go, so that the company can grow. Chloé: I would like for you to leave us with something for our readers who are young women between the ages of twenty-two and where you are now. What positive thing would you like to leave them with to encourage them?
Amber: I would say: Whatever you're worried about, it probably won't come to fruition. That awareness in and of itself is going to keep you from making the wrong choices. I think that applies to a lot of things. things. People might say, "What if I'm bad at this job?" Or "What if I'm not a good mom?" Or "What if I mess up my kid?" Or "What if I make a bad financial decision?" If you have enough of that awareness— to be scared of it—then more than likely that awareness is going to keep you from hitting that rock bottom. It's going to keep you from being so bad at the job that you are completely oblivious to the fact that it's not for you. It's going to keep you from traumatizing your child, because you're so worried about traumatizing your child. Just having that awareness already puts you ahead of people who don't have that self-awareness. Chloé: I like that. You want women who are in their early twenties to early thirties to simply just be aware. Self-awareness is key. key. Amber: Exactly. If you have self-awareness, then you can trust yourself not to let yourself go to the worst-case scenario. You already have that awareness protecting you. It's the people who don't have the foresight to think about what the worst-case scenario could be, who end up in the worst-case scenario. <
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Consciousness . . . is the way Consider your states of consciousness in 2023.
Indeed, all states of consciousness are spiritual. Like ice, water, clouds, and vapor, they’re all one and the same— yet each of their expressions is different. For sustained, optimum success, each state of consciousness should be developed and used as much as possible. Your instinct is a manifestation of the physical. Your intellect is a manifestation of the mental. Your inspirations are a manifestation of the soul. And your intuitions and revelations are manifestations of the spirit. Your intellect was given to you for the purpose of combining your intuitions and revelations— fusing them together, intelligently, to manifest your desires in material form on a physical/instinctual plane—to become real in your life, where you actually get to be it, do it, and have it. When you learn to express yourself, and all of the above states of consciousness—joining them together in one harmonious expression—you will learn how to play and enjoy life more. FLOURISHDIGITALMAGAZINE.COM | JAN/FEB 2023 | 87
Your image is your brand. It can help you flourish. When we're self-aware, poised, polished, knowledgeable and intentional, we become more confident about who we are, and then we can accomplish our life goals. We acquire that special quality that sets us apart from the average person. This unique characteristic creates power and credibility, providing us with brilliance, excellence, and style.
Stay fabulous, and flourish.