The Humans Behind Addictions In our minds, addiction is an escape. In reality, it leads us from one dark place to an even darker one. Addiction often emerges out of internal torment. It welcomes us with open arms, disguising itself as a solution to our pain and trauma. It becomes a hand to hold. And so, we turn to addictions in order to survive the destructive emotions that imprison us. It isn’t until much later that we realize how we’ve fallen victim to its lethal clutches. Each time we give in to our addictions, we soar. We have a moment of release, as though we’re screaming into an empty chasm and letting all the inner turmoil fly out of us. But each time, the aftermath sends us back to the grim reality. The same emotions we’ve been avoiding are still right there, looming over us, waiting. We’re back to where we started, only now we have this urge, this craving to return to that chasm. 26 Nf m
Athena Wu
And so we go back, again, and again, and again, at the expense of our physical and mental well-being, our relationships, our dreams, our passions—everything that could make life worth living but we feel is so out of reach. July 2020 is when addiction first began taking over my life. It’s almost ironic how it formed as a way for me to take back control, and yet I ended up losing myself to it. Eating disorder behaviors seized my brain space, my energy, my time, my personality—it consumed me, and it was still never enough. That’s often the case with addiction. We have to have more, and when we have more, we need to have even more. It’s a dangerous trap to fall into, especially when we hardly realize how fast we’re falling. My own mental struggles transpired entirely within my head. Self-hatred infected my mind, and I truly believed that restricted eating would be the cure. It
