Pandemic times : Attuning to sensitive clients with diverse healthcare beliefs

In a clip that previews her interview of Prince Harry and Megan Markle, Oprah asks Megan, “Did you silence yourself or were you silenced?” Her question reverberates in my heart like a Gregorian Chant. “Feeling silenced” is not restricted to royal offspring. It is a very isolating experience, a sign of social rigidity, and often a precursor to depression. “Feeling silenced” is something I see often in my therapy practice, especially since the pandemic.

My therapy practice is primarily devoted to helping to relieve distress in people who have a highly sensitive personality (HSPs). According to extensive research since 1996 by Dr. Elaine Aron and her international colleagues, high sensitivity is an evolutionary trait within 15 - 20% of animal and human populations, across all cultures. Although not a researcher, psychiatrist and bestselling author Judith Orloff, M.D. has also made a contribution, in this case, to the energetic healing of sensitives who suffer from excessive empathy and feel deeply the pain of the world.

You most likely have HSP clients in your practice. Sensitives are a minority in society but compromise 80% or the majority of clients in therapy. Sensitivity is not introversion, not pathology, not neurosis, although certainly a sensitive can be anxious, sad or depressed, and they can have had adverse events in childhood. HSPs are some of the most resilient clients you will see in therapy. A core wound in many HSPs is psychic isolation – the experience of being different, feeling misunderstood and not fitting in to the culture at large. This innate sensitivity can be compounded by inequities of gender, race, ethnicity, and sexual orientation. HSPs in therapy during the pandemic may need help to speak up about what they have felt silenced about, currently and in the past.This includes their experiences and views about healthcare. HSPs are hyper-vigilant: their bodies absorb the feelings of others like sponges, which can make them ill. They tend to prefer alternative, complementary or integrative medicine over allopathic medical interventions. They have lots of questions and are likely to feel silenced by the prevailing health authorities. It is important for therapists to validate the HSPs process of free inquiry, to help such clients be with their indecision, to name their fears, and to trust their own inner wisdom. HSPs do not need to hear from their therapists variations of the same advice that they have heard most of their lives, e.g. “toughen up, ” “grow a thick skin” or worse, “stop being so sensitive. ” Persons with a highly sensitive personality cannot just turn it off. Their nervous systems are wired differently.

Your HSP client does not need to be fixed. If your HSP client seems to be espousing what you consider conspiracy theories, stay open in the present moment. Find a point of common ground. Consider the importance of the therapeutic alliance and whether you feel it would be useful to disclose your process and how you arrived at your perspective. Can you give your client a new experience surrounding differences? How might it feel if you agree to disagree on a matter important to him or her? Remember, validating is not agreement. However, validating is both verbal and nonverbal. Even over telehealth platforms, clients will tend to trust body language over what is spoken. HSP clients are on the alert to your non-verbal communications. There's a lot you can do to alleviate the pain of an HSP. Most notably, you can: 1) support your HSP client in developing self-trust, and 2) alleviate the HSPs loneliness of being different, by listening deeply.

In a free society, the intersection of individual liberty and public health is a worthy place of Socratic exploration and personal growth.

Written By: Robin Leigh, LCSW, MSW, MFARobin Leigh, LCSW, MSW, MFA, is a private practice therapist with special training in working with persons with highly sensitive personality trait. Her practice includes creatives, intuitives, HSPs, and empaths as well as grievers, caregivers, persons with chronic illness, and others experiencing life transitions. She enjoys sharing the healing possibilities of mindful writing with her clients. https://leighcounseling.weebly.com/