January 2021 FMHCA InSession Magazine

JANUARY 2021

PRESENTED BY: THE FLORIDA MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELORS ASSOCIATION

FMHCA IS A CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELORS ASSOCIATION AND IS THE ONLY ORGANIZATION WORKING EXCLUSIVELY FOR LMHC'S IN FLORIDA

STNEMECNUONNA ACHMF

WE ARE ON SOCIAL MEDIA! Stay up to date on webinars, deadlines, and state news by following us on: Instagram- @fmhca Facebook- Florida Mental Health Counselors Association (FMHCA) Twitter- @fmhca LinkedIn- Florida Mental Health Counselors Association (FMHCA)

WE ARE GROWING! FMHCA is growing and averaging 50 new members a month! We are grateful to be the only organization dedicated to meeting the professional needs of Florida's LMHCs.

BE IN OUR NEXT NEWSLETTER Be in our next quarterly newsletter by submitting your article below.

SUBMIT AN ARTICLE Sponsor our next quarterly newsletter by calling into our office at:

561-228-6129 FMHCA PLUS ONE CAMPAIGN Share the love! Invite 1 new member and receive a $15.00 credit on your FMHCA account to be used towards conferences, events, and membership renewal.

THANK YOU TO OUR 2020 BOARD MEMBERS

05

INTRODUCING OUR NEW BOARD MEMBERS

06

A MESSAGE FROM OUR PAST PRESIDENT

08

A MESSAGE FROM OUR NEW PRESIDENT

09

PRESIDENCY GOALS & OBJECTIVES

12

GREAT SEX AT PROFOUND LEVELS

15

3 ACTIONS WE CAN TAKE TO SUPPORT FAMILIES & PREVENT SUICIDE AMONGST

16

YOUNG CHILDREN

18

ADDRESSING PRIVILEGE

21

LOVE IS LOVE. A CALL TO OTHER COUPLES/ MARRIAGE COUNSELORS

23

PSYCHOLOGICAL BENEFITS OF PET OWNERSHIP DURING A PANDEMIC

28

5 POINTERS TO BOOST SUCCESS IN TREATING EMOTIONAL, BINGE- AND OVEREATING

32

2021 VIRTUAL SUMMIT LINEUP

43

A SATISFYING MARRIAGE, YOUR CHOICE?

46

SHOULD WE OR SHOULDNT WE LET PAST TRAUMATIC EVENTS DEFINE US?

48

THERAPY AFTER THE ELECTION: HELPING CLIENTS- AND OURSELEVES- DEAL WITH UNWANTED RESULTS

56

ARE YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW?

59

HOW A MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELOR CAN HELP THEIR PATIENT QUALIFY FOR SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITY BENEFITS

62

LEGISTLATIVE UPDATE

FMHCA IS A CHAPTER OF THE AMERICAN MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELORS ASSOCIATION, THE LARGEST ASSOCIATION IN THE U.S. EXCLUSIVELY REPRESENTING CLINICAL MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELORS (WWW.AMHCA.ORG)

STNETNOC FO ELBAT

04

AARON NORTON PRESIDENT

DEIRDRA SANDERSBURNETT PRESIDENT ELECT

ERICA WHITFIELD PAST PRESIDENT

DARLENE SILVERNAIL TREASURER

KATHIE ERWIN SECRETARY

JOE SKELLY NW REGIONAL DIRECTOR

CINDY WALL NE REGIONAL DIRECTOR

ELISA NILES SW REGIONAL DIRECTOR

WE ARE GRATEFUL FOR THE LEADERSHIP OF OUR 2020 BOARD MEMBERS AS WE ENTER INTO NEW LEADERSHIP. MICHAEL HOLLER PARLIAMENTARIAN

ELISA NILES SE REGIONAL DIRECTOR

PAGE 4

DEIRDRA SANDERSBURNETT PRESIDENT

LAURA PEDDIE-BRAVO PRESIDENT ELECT

AARON NORTON PAST PRESIDENT

GRACE MARIN TREASURER

KATHIE ERWIN SECRETARY

JENNIFER RAYMOND SE REGIONAL DIRECTOR

WE ARE SO EXCITED TO ENTER 2021 WITH SUCH A STRONG TEAM! NW & SW REGIONAL DIRECTORS WILL BE APPOINTED LATER THIS MONTH MICHAEL HOLLER PARLIAMENTARIAN

PAGE 5

Season’s greetings, fellow mental health counselors! From 2005 to 2013, a group of 31 counseling organizations met, calling themselves the “20/20 Task Force.” Their mission was to promote the needs of the counseling profession, and they accomplished a lot, including agreeing on a definition for the counseling profession and establishing several goals and objectives that they wanted to accomplish by 2020 for our profession.

2020 was supposed to be the great year of vision for us. Instead, it ended up being one of the most challenging years in our lifetimes. 2020 was filled with economic turmoil, civil unrest, racial injustice and tension, political polarization, a pandemic the likes of which humanity hasn’t faced in 100 years (i.e., the 1918 H1N1 “Spanish Flu” pandemic), and related rises in psychological hardship (e.g., increased rates of depression and anxiety, problematic substance use, trauma, and domestic violence).

But then again, maybe those two narratives (i.e., the great year of vision and the year of struggle) aren’t mutually exclusive. Maybe 2020 was both a challenging year for our profession and a year of tremendous vision.

Long before the pandemic, I taught my counseling students that every time there is a significant crisis in American history, the counseling profession is strengthened. This isn’t because crises are good; it’s because crises raise awareness about the need for healing. I cited the social problems resulting from the Industrial Revolution (which precipitated the birth of our profession), the Great Depression, World War I, the Holocaust, World War II, the Cold War, the racial injustices of the “Jim Crow” era of the South, 9/11, and school shootings as examples of crises in counseling textbooks that triggered growth in our profession.

We’re experiencing one of those points of hardship now. People are hurting, and they need help.

In a recent survey of 654 counselors launched by our parent chapter, the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA), 58% of counselors said they were experiencing an increase in the number of referrals during the pandemic, 11% of counselors said they have stopped accepting new referrals due to the influx of new clientele, an additional 27% said they are limiting new referrals, 36% said they are working overtime to try and accommodate the needs of their clients, 9% said they were hiring new staff to try and handle new cases, and 26% said they were referring to other providers more than usual because they couldn’t accommodate client needs. As a profession, we clinical mental health counselors are rising to meet the needs our nation.

PAGE 6

The pandemic is bringing out the worst in us, but it’s also bringing out the best. I think that people are coming together. I think that community is starting to mean something again, and I think that our profession is playing a significant role in this sense of community.

During the 18 months that I have served as President of FMHCA, I have seen our administrative staff, board members, committee members, and members-at-large accomplish the following: A 32% increase in membership A 40% increase in agency membership Expanded social media presence Calls to action for Medicare parity Increased webinar attendance Increased conference attendance The launching of the “3 in 1” Campaign, encouraging membership on a local, state, and national level The creation of a procedure for addressing partnerships with other organizations consistent with our mission and purpose The creation of a procedure for addressing requests for government or legislative action The passing of a bill that FMHCA drafted improving licensure portability in our State.

I’m now going to leave my position as President of FMHCA and support our new President, Dr. Deirdra Sanders-Burnett, who I am confident will take our association to the next level. I am grateful for the opportunity to have met and collaborated with so many of you during these 18 months. I will continue serving FMHCA as Past-President, and I will look forward to communing with you all in person again when this pandemic has ended.

Aaron Norton, LMHC, LMFT FMHCA Past-President

PAGE 7

Greetings, Clinical Mental Health Counselors, Thank you for being a valuable member of the Florida Mental Health Counselor’s Association.

FMHCA is a chapter of the American Mental Health Counselors Association and the only counseling organization exclusively representing CMHCs in Florida. This distinctive organization is strategically focused on advocating for mental health professionals, delivering quality continuing education, facilitating the exchange of professional information, monitoring, and influencing legislative activity that advances the profession of mental health counselors, promoting research that enhances practitioners’ skills to deliver evidence-based treatment to their clients, and advocating for CMHC’s scope of practice in the state level.

As we forge ahead into the new year, I pause to show gratitude to our members, celebrate the accomplishments of the previous year, thank our board and committee members for their dedication to serve our members and citizens throughout Florida, welcome new board members, and share my goals for the 2021 year. Under the leadership of Aaron Norton, FMHCA President during 2019-2020 the Regional Directors, Executive Board members, Executive Director, Executive Administrator, Lobbyist, and with the help of our members, I am proud to announce that despite the global COVID-19 pandemic our association has increased its membership from 711 in July 2019 to 987 members as of December 2020. Our agency membership has increased from 5 members to 7 members. As a result of our legislative advocacy and government relations, the Government Relations Committee coordinated with Corine Mixon, FMHCA’s lobbyist, and met with legislators to discuss and urge them to pass the Licensure portability bill. FMHC provided 30 synchronous and on-demand webinars. FMHCA’s conference attendance increased from 533 to 699. FMHCA board members attended 491 Board meetings, and FMHCA regional directors documented their activities on the Board member. In addition, FMHCA’s members continued to provide legal and ethical services to their clients face to face and/or virtually. You are to be commended!

As I transition into the position of President for the 2021 year, I present my proposed goals and objectives for my term as outlined below. I propose to build organizational capacity to fulfill the tasks of FMHCA by increasing our membership and media presence, work collaboratively with the GRC to influence legislative activity, increase webinar and regional training, support RMHI entering the profession, improve relationships between the regional, state, and national chapter, as well, as maintain presences at 491 board meeting, and implement a five-year Strategic Plan.

I invite you to join me in achieving these goals for our state chapter and remain actively engaging in advancing the vision and mission of FMHCA at the local, state, and national levels. I encourage you to stay connected by renewing your membership, invite students and colleagues to join FMHCA, join a committee in your local chapter or at the state level, submit a proposal to be a webinar or conference

PAGE 8

presenter, attend a regional training, call, or write your legislators urging them to support a bill, attend a 491 Board meeting, communicate with your board members, or share information with your colleagues through the “member forum�. I look forward to seeing you at our Virtual Summit on February 1-26, 2021. I am honored to serve as your President. Stay safe and feel free to reach out to me with any questions, concerns, or ideas.

Sincerely,

Deirdra Sanders-Burnett Ph.D., LMHC FMHCA President 2021

PAGE 9

PAGE 10

PAGE 11

Sex. A powerful three letter word that throws us all into a dance, and you may not know what is to be expected. Good sex? Boring sex? No sex at all, or only experiencing a sexual release with no connection? Where has intimacy gone? How do we feel comfortable enough to “let loose,” and have mind blowing, soul connecting, emotionally intimate sexual experience, you ask? The answer is simpler than you might think.

Did you know, Intimacy is clearly a predictor of both psychological and physiological well-being.

Although most of us think of intimacy in sexual terms, intimacy is not based on sexual performance.

Sexual expression will not sustain a relationship devoid of emotional intimacy.

So, what exactly is intimacy? In 1986 Wynne and Wynne defined intimacy as, “A relational event in which trusting self- disclosure is responded to with their communicated empathy.” In simpler terms, a partner must take risks of disclosing emotions with a significant other in order to reach a higher level of intimacy. This involves risk, and as humans, we naturally reject uncertain risk. The risk of not having our level of intimacy met, may instill fear in us initially, but we truly only know someone by the nature of their emotional experience.

For many of us, however, our need for time for ourselves is greater than our need for closeness.

Intimacy thrives on togetherness, as well as separateness. Together with emotional intimacy, sexual desire requires some separateness, some polarity, across which some sexual tension can occur.

In 1959, Erik Erikson said that, “an individual is available for an intimate relationship only after he or she achieved a core sense of identity.” Thus, “knowing thyself” may be the first step in attaining a deep level of emotional intimacy, in a loving relationship. A high level of “separateness” is a requirement, for intimacy, as a relationship develops in importance and longevity.

In order to build emotional intimacy, you must first focus on loving who you are. That is, your strengths, your values, and your character; assuring yourself to not expect it externally from your partner. Becoming more aware of your own emotional needs and getting them met both in and out of your relationship because they cannot meet all of your needs. Second, using your voice, and asking clearly what you are requesting from your partner. The importance of sharing your unmet needs with your partner, and then suggesting ways they may be met. Following this, assure you are being open and honest about your fears of losing yourself as you try to accommodate your partner’s needs.

In order to building a deep, trusting relationship, you must also listen actively, with good eye contact while giving your partner your full attention. Taking power back in each situation, and enjoying being present in bed while love making, thus, enjoying the caress of each other’s touch, and staying in the moment. Being vulnerable and breaking down those walls when fear strikes back is imperative to let your partner in.

PAGE 12

Finally, be authentic. Practice being sincere and honest in expressing your love and caring for your partner each time. This will build not only a strong foundation for your relationship, but it will allow you to thrive into new levels to become more emotionally connected to attain more passionate sex.

GREAT SEX AT PROFOUND LEVELS

Partners need to negotiate for closeness, moving back and forth, balancing between closeness and distance, separateness and togetherness, engagement and disengagement, and embrace the dance of building emotional intimacy and risk with rhythm and flair. Kahlil Gibran said it best in his book, The Prophet, “Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

And let the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.

For only the hand of life can contain your hearts.”

Emotional Intimacy can be a remarkable experience. In our closest times with our partner, we may experience ourselves in a new, different and profound way. To know oneself fully and freely in the presence of another can be a joyful experience…a soul-felt, mind blowing experience for those wanting to go one step further in connection with another.

Written by: June Tomaso-Wood, LCSW June Tomaso-Wood, LCSW, graduated from Simmons School of Social Work, and is a Psychotherapist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in Venice, Florida. She specializes in issues of sexuality, intimacy and trauma recovery.

For more information on how to have a thriving sex life, be on the lookout for her new book, Hot Pink, to debut in 2021.

PAGE 13

PAGE 14

It can be hard for any parent to recognize or accept their child may be struggling with suicide ideation, self-harm, and suicide attempts. As a society we do not generally think that children would have any reason to have these feelings or thoughts of self-harm. Many believe that only children who experience family conflict or lack of parental support / lack of parental monitoring are those that struggle with suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts.

Yet the reality is that young children are struggling with suicide ideation, attempts, and self-harm at alarming rates. This can be for many reasons as well as biological factors. As we attempt to support and strengthen existing strategies in the fight against suicide, we should also challenge the misconception that young children do not struggle with suicide ideation.

Unfortunately, suicide does not discriminate; anyone can experience depression and struggle with suicide ideation. The multitude of factors that can contribute to these feelings, and mental disorders are complex, and all children can struggle even those that appear to be have no external stressors/ factors.

Families need support and awareness on the fact that young children may experience depression; and can struggle with suicide ideation, self-harm, & attempts, especially during this challenging time when research indicates concerns with the of rise in suicides as a result of social isolation, and psychological distress that many are experiencing. Below are 3 actions we can take to support families and prevent suicide amongst young children.

Increase Research Opportunities and Resources When a young child is struggling with suicide ideation, self-harm, or attempt many families pursue resources & support on the topic. Yet these families are finding minimal research is being done to identify and aide young children battling with these serious and chronic feelings and mental disorders.

Some parents account what they did find was information geared towards adolescents, and young adults. Some of the information parents referenced was that according to the CDC suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24 in the United States. Yet many parents wondered what information, data, and research spoke to their children who were under the age of 10 and struggled with suicidal ideation, self-harm, depression, and attempt. According to the Centre for Suicide Prevention, “Statistics show that there are very few suicides of children, but child suicide deaths are often officially reported as accidents or unintentional deaths, so they are likely under-reported (Gray et al., 2014).�

PAGE 15

The reality is that we do not have much information, data or research that truly speaks to suicide deaths among young children. We also know that when these thoughts are not addressed, validated, or treated not only are we increasing the risk of attempts for children as they get older, but we are ignoring the opportunities that exist to be proactive, and preventive. A solution to these valid concerns are to begin creating more research opportunities to address factors contributing to the development of suicide in children 10 or younger.

Early Education on Suicide Prevention Education on Suicide, and suicide prevention should also occur early on. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, suicide attempts in younger children are often impulsive, may be related with feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, or problems with attention and hyperactivity. Yet suicidal feelings and depression are treatable mental disorders, which need to be validated, recognized, and diagnosed, as well as treated with a comprehensive treatment plan, any child, or adolescent struggling with suicidal thoughts or a plan should be evaluated immediately by a trained and qualified mental health professional.

We should therefore begin to think about starting suicide prevention as early as childhood, this coupled with the help of Licensed Mental Health Professionals who can teach children to develop coping skills and strategies for suicidal behaviors and ideation, and help to raise awareness about the warning signs of suicide and suicidal behavior can help prevent suicides in young children. These prevention efforts should include parents, they should be empowered, respected and their roles validated.

Increase Awareness on Warnings signs and symptoms Another effort is to create marketing opportunities, which also address children as young as the age of 4. Again, prevention efforts should begin early on, parents should be given every opportunity to become knowledgeable on suicidal feelings and mental disorders, and the possibility these can present early on in children younger than 10 years of age.

Many families are struggling with feelings of missing the signs their child expressed, they felt that due to their child’s age, they did not know what they should be looking for. While others shared their child displayed no signs. Families need to have a greater understanding of what Suicide is, and how to help their young children. Marketing efforts need to communicate these feelings and disorders even at a very young age can be treated and should not be ignored.

Written by: Martha Rodriguez, LCSW

I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience in both Private & Public Sectors. Previously I worked as the Service Manager in Recovery at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High school during which I facilitated the delivery of Mental Health services provided to victims, families, and survivors of the mass shooting. Currently I am at USF, a Mental Health Consultant I provide training and technical assistance on Evidence- based mental health and substance abuse prevention and intervention strategies, recovery and trauma- informed practices Specialist, Oversee the Mental Health Assistance Allocation Plan and Suicide Prevention Certified Schools for 127 school districts I enjoy promoting the understanding of mental health needs and psychological safety affecting individuals impacted trauma, mental disorders, and abuse. I have pieces published by, Nami, SSWA, NASW, and SVP.

PAGE 16

PAGE 17

In 2020, the people of the United States have seen countless outcries for social reform. Millions have posted their opinion on social media. Thousands have taken to their local streets to protest. Many have been senselessly killed in the current battle for social justice. People are risking their lives on a daily basis to fight for their own rights and the rights of others.

The current state of our social system has reached the point where it cannot be ignored by anyone of any race, socioeconomic status, gender, sexual orientation, profession, or background. Those who have historically had the ability to stick to the sidelines or were not impacted by certain events are now finding themselves forced to take a stance.

According to White (1995), “our lives are constituted by the meanings we give experience,” which we do “through the stories we have about our lives” (p. 64-65). We are living in a time where new meanings are being assigned to experiences in both public and personal ways. New, complex stories are being told about people of color, minorities, and various social groups.

As someone who self-identifies as a Southern, white, cis-gender female and working-class mental health professional, I have noticed my own privileges being called into account more often recently than ever before. It is not that I was not aware of my privileges before or they did not have an impact on my daily interactions in the past. Rather, they have been highlighted more in the current social climate.

This is something I am deeply grateful for. Many of us with privileges tend to take them for granted, even therapists. As therapists we spend our lives working to help others of all different backgrounds and perspectives, but it is still easy to slip into particular habits and beliefs. Privilege is the ability to not have certain aspects of yourself negatively impact your daily life. It only makes sense we can lose sight of them if we are not diligent, since they are convenient and possible to ignore.

Nevertheless, this is a time where we need to be more cognizant of our privileges and how we can take action create more space for others to have access to appropriate resources. Our fellow citizens, our neighbors, our friends, our family members are all hurting. It is our ethical duty as mental health professions to not do harm (American Association for Marriage & Family Therapy, 2015). Part of not doing harm involves doing our own work, addressing power dynamics fueled by privilege, and creating a non-discriminatory space for clients.

Here are five steps for counselors to do our part in managing privilege: Acknowledge the dominant cultural discourse and where you stand in relation to that (White, 1997). The United States has an extremely diverse population. However, there certain cultural patterns are more accepted and valued by others. The most obvious example is race. There are many privileges afforded by white skin color, which occurs at a national and local level.

Nevertheless, depending on the specific region or area you work in, there might be other cultural traits that also dominate the landscape. Explore whether you are a part of those or not, particularly in relationship to your client’s experiences.

PAGE 18

Be curious about other’s experiences. We often have tremendous insight into our own experiences and the experiences of those who are similar to us. We rarely have much insight into the experiences of those who are quite different from us, as it requires intentionality and a large amount of energy. Our own worldview can be limiting, since we do not understand how those without our specific privileges experience the world. Ask questions in a curious manner that lets client’s know you genuinely want to understand them better from their own point of view.

Step out of your comfort zone. Privileges are comfortable in nature. When we have them, we feel secure and less at risk. Working to set those aside can be uncomfortable, but it is slight in comparison to the constant stress and fear that accompanies being a part of the minority. It can feel threatening when our privileges are overtly discussed or challenged. Being able to manage discomfort can go a long way in encouraging open and safe dialogue with others.

Take steps to manage privilege in the room. Personally, I do this by practicing the non-expert stance of the therapist of narrative epistemology, in which the therapist is transparent about their position in the therapeutic relationship (White, 1997). This approach helps by overtly addressing the power dynamic of the therapeutic relationship and openly discussing boundary issues. However, there are many other ways to manage privilege from different theoretical orientations. More generally, it can be helpful to explore a client’s story and their worldview in a non-judgmental manner in order to avoid bias.

Actively create space for diversity and inclusion. Privileges can be used in a positive and productive manner when they help others gain access to resources they did not previously have. This is not necessarily about making things fairer for minorities, but it is about making things more inclusive and equitable. This might look like the re-distribution of resources, providing a platform for less-privileged voices, or openly celebrating the lives of diverse populations.

While our jobs as therapists is to create a non-discriminatory and benevolent space for clients to explore both their pain and triumphs, we are not immune to the complex dynamics going on in the world around us. It is a time of change and reform. We have a chance to enhance systemic change by personally addressing our own privileges and relating differently to others, one client at a time.

Written by: Arielle Saunders, LMFT Arielle A. Saunders, LMFT is a Ph.D. candidate at Nova Southeastern University and currently sees clients in private practice through virtual sessions. In addition to clinical experience, she has taught masters level courses at South Florida Bible College and Theological Seminary.

PAGE 19

PAGE 20

When I began Encite Counseling to help couples and marriages understand their relationships better I did so without understanding a crucial piece of couples counseling. That crucial piece was not presented to me until the day that I received a phone call from a prospective client asking me if I work with LGBT couples.

The importance of the question did not immediately resonate with me because I never put a box around the type of couples I would work with. It just does not make sense to me. Without hesitation I answered yes but I followed up with a question as to why it was that they felt the need to ask me if I work with LGBT couples.

The client took a long pause and responded that they had called around to multiple couples counselors and many said no, they do not work with LGBT couples.

Maybe I am naive, optimistic, or have rose colored glasses but never did I think that in Orlando, couples counselors would refuse to see a couple based on their gender, sex, or orientation. This really floored me but I quickly came the realization that the reason why I never thought that an LGBT couple would have difficulty finding a counselor was because of my own thoughts on couples and a privilege of being a sis-gender guy in a heterosexual relationship.

As a cisgender Latino person I have experienced marginalization based on what I look like but never on my sexuality. It is important that we as couples counselors reach out to our potential clients to let them know that they are accepted and welcomed. Whether that be through having an

PAGE 21

“LGBT Friendly� sticker on google, through representation of LGBT couples on my website and blogs, or by reaching out to organizations that service the LGBT community in Orlando.

I call upon other couples/marriage counselors to put up something on your website, social media, or business account that makes LGBT couples feel safe coming to you. Love is Love. Everyone in a relationship deserves the opportunity to work on their relationship, continue to find love, without any judgement about their relationships.

Written by: Joaquin Martinez, LCSW Joaquin Martinez is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker that owns Encite Couples Counseling. Joaquin believes in brining hope to all people for a better tomorrow.

PAGE 22

Loneliness may be one of the hardest parts of social distancing during COVID-19 since people have limited access to co-workers, friends, or family. How can you feel connected when absent from your support system? One way is to enjoy the companionship of pets to avoid feelings of isolation which can elevate stress and weaken immunity.

Research shows that pets, particularly cats and dogs can reduce emotional pressure, anxiety, and depression. A four-legged friend can benefit you in other ways. For instance, walking a dog encourage exercise, boosts cardiovascular health, stimulates muscles, gets you out into sunshine for a dose of vitamin D, gives you a chance to wave at the neighbors, all while encouraging owners to exercise which is another proven way to remove negative emotions.

Studies have shown pet owners gain physically as well as emotionally. One experiment by the Research Center for Human-Animal Interaction found people who walked their dogs five days per week lost almost 15 pounds per year with no changes to diet. Many reports have found owning a pet can provide significant health advantages.

Consider the following benefits of pet ownership• Lowers blood pressure and decreases respiration rate • Lower cholesterol and triglyceride levels • Higher levels of the neurotransmitter’s serotonin and dopamine which calm the brain (elevated during playtime with a dog or cat) • Heart attack survivors live longer if they own a pet than those without a pet • Improves the ability to cope with pain • Senior citizens who own pets make 30% fewer visits to their doctors • Pet care creates structure and routine to fill the day with purposeful activity • Have greater self-esteem, are more extraverted and less fearful • Feel less rejection and loneliness than non-pet owners • Even watching tropical fish can relax muscles and lower heart rate

PAGE 23

Why do humans do better around pets?

Companionship, routine, connection, touch, attention, affection, and a host of other psychological needs are met while stroking, talking to, and caring for pets. Children, the aged, those with special needs all show marked improvement when interacting with pets.

Domesticated animals continually notice their humans, especially monitoring for non-verbal cues.

While some of this behavior may be attributed to a dog seeking a treat or to go out for a walk, they are still tracking and noticing their owners’ emotional state.

This trait was highlighted in the television series “The Dog Whisperer” with Cesar Millan. During each show Cesar revealed how dogs understand many of the words we use, and especially the tone of our voices, body posture and emotional state. It was not magic to understand how dogs can look deep into their owner’s eyes and quickly determine what they are thinking or feeling, it was basic behavioral science.

This explains why some breeds can become strong and capable support animals. They notice and compensate for areas their owner may miss in their sensory environment. Trained Emotional Support Animals (ESA’s) can provide significant comfort for their owners who may feel overwhelmed by stress or trauma.

Should you go out and get a pet during a lock down? “No” say experts.

It is important to research what your lifestyle was before sheltering in place to figure out if pet ownership fits your schedule and budget. Different personalities attach through different types of pets, so if thinking about adding a pet to your home, do your research first. Tropical fish are relaxing and do not have to be walked several times per day. Parrots can learn clever phrases but will not chew up your shoes and earning the purr of a cat is one of the simple joys in life Dogs are the most popular pet, (46.3 million American’s have a dog while 38.9 million households’ own cats according to the American Pet Products Association).

Someone you know owns a pet and can help you with the data you need to make a wise decision, so call them. Ask the hard questions. Gathering information on the type of pet you are considering before you move forward will give you understanding of all the responsibility involved and avoid disappointment from the pain of regret.

Never purchase a pet for a child as a gift.

Talk to other members of your household and agree on the qualities you want in a pet and those you would prefer to avoid. In the case of dogs, there are dozens of breeds or mixed breeds, each offering a different blend of personality traits that may fit your home.

PAGE 24

The closer the fit, the greater the support. Here is a list of questions to consider – • Do you want an active dog or one that does not need a lot of exercise?

• Who will look after the dog?

• How much time will the dog spend alone each day?

• Are your children responsible enough to care for a dog?

• Do you intend to hire a dog walker or take the animal to doggie daycare?

• How big is your living space?

• Does your landlord allow pets, and if so what size?

• Do you have enough room for a large breed?

• Do you live with young children or someone frail or disabled who would do better with a small or gentle breed?

• How much shedding can you tolerate?

• Do you want a puppy that needs training and housebreaking or a full-grown dog that is already trained? (for more visit https://www.humanesociety.org/ ) There is a lot of time, money and work involved in caring for an animal so make decisions based on facts not sentimental feelings. Pet ownership is a major responsibility, and in the case of some pets like Amazon Parrots, it can be a fifty-year commitment.

Pet food is a continual expense, as are veterinary checkups, licenses, grooming, toys, treats and boarding fees. Pets can be destructive or if feeling threatened can scratch or bite. For those on a fixed income, or currently unemployed, ongoing pet expenses can become a major financial burden. For others who will return to work after lockdowns are lifted, there may be no free time to give a pet the attention they need.

Pet ownership is beneficial for those who have the energy, time, and money to care for a new addition to their home. This is not a temporary cure for feelings of panic, or a quick fix to add comfort. If you have doubts – do not do it. Some people never envision they could become an ‘animal person’ which is fine.

Trying to force a pet on someone during a pandemic – or any other time is a bad decision that will only create more stress.

Add to that the reality of feeling significant grief as you gradually lose a beloved companion because the animal gets weak or dies. Watch the film ‘Marley and Me’ with Jennifer Anniston and Owen Wilson to see what that traumatic experience is like on a family. You may decide owning a leopard gecko to be the easier path.

PAGE 25

If pet ownership sounds too overwhelming right now, consider other creative options to enjoy part-time pet benefits. Offer to walk your neighbors’ dog, or volunteer at a no-kill shelter. Once the Centers for Disease Control, (www.CDC.gov ) gives an ‘all-clear’, consider that many children’s hospitals, schools and airports offer trained therapy dogs, cats and bunnies you can pet and stroke to reduce your feelings of stress and anxiety.

Some rescue groups offer pet ‘rental’ programs or play dates to give the animal some human interaction for the day. You could foster a pet temporarily until they find a permanent home while enjoying the short-term benefits of being around an animal. (A note of caution- many people who foster fall in love quickly with their new furry friend, so walk carefully should you choose to explore this option).

Every caring relationship in your life can add value and reduce stress but few are as comforting as connecting to a four-legged best friend who prevents loneliness while bringing a better quality of life. A cat, dog, miniature pony, or turtle may be in your future. Just make sure it is forever and not just for a few months during the coronavirus crisis.

Written by: Dwight Bain, LMHC, NCC Dwight Bain LMHC, NCC helps people rewrite their story through strategic change. He is founder of the LifeWorks Group in Winter Park and a trusted media source having been interviewed over 500 times on mental health topics. Dwight is a lifelong resident of Orlando where he lives with his wife Sheila and an assortment of pets. After 30 years together they always have suitcases packed ready for their next adventure.

PAGE 26

PAGE 27

Many clients who come to me because I’m an eating psychology expert report that general therapists haven’t been much help in overcoming their overeating problems. My hunch is that’s because clinicians are not sure what to do and therefore do nothing or have been using approaches they assumed would be helpful but turn out not to be. Although successful eating disorder (ED) treatment encompasses the whole person, there’s a big payoff in learning some of the basics that ED therapists already know.

Here are five pointers to boost your success in treating clients who are emotional, binge- and overeaters: 1. Discourage clients from dieting. As Healthline reports, diets do not work long-term and, in fact, may make people fatter when they regain more weight than they originally lost. One "study from 2018, which followed 29 long-term weight-loss studies, showed that more than half of the lost weight was regained within 2 years, and by 5 years, more than 80 percent of lost weight was regained.”

Diets can’t help but fail most people for long-term weight loss. After the first few days or weeks of charging gung-ho into a plan or program and (finally!) feeling control over food, restriction leads to clients feeling deprived and resentful that others are eating foods they crave. Cutting back calories can also trigger their metabolism to slow down as the body tries to conserve calories. And because diets over-focus on food, clients miss out on pursuing other pleasures as well as more effective ways to comfort and soothe themselves.

2. Encourage clients to focus on health and self-care, not losing weight. Diets promote an obsession with weight loss rather than fostering a desire to become and stay healthy. Our goal is to help clients embrace self-care and choose mental and physical health as life goals. This is not to say we want to discourage them from shedding pounds. The idea is to support them in feeling better about their bodies inside and out and have them value their blood pressure numbers as much as the digit on the scale.

It can be tricky to help clients increase and sustain motivation for self-care. A major incentive is for clients to be able to move around better and engage in activities more comfortably—from sports to .

PAGE 28

household chores to child-rearing. Helping them visualize a stronger and healthier body reminds them of the joy it can bring them. On the other hand, we want to avoid stigmatizing weight and need to remember that people can have healthy bodies at larger sizes.

3. Be intentional with language. Because it is more effective to take a weight-neutral rather than a weight-normative treatment stance, it pays to be careful about our language. Most clients dislike the words obese and morbidly obese. Even the term overweight is unhelpful and pejorative, implying that there is an exact weight that a client should be and that anything over that number is unacceptable. Focusing on health and self-care is far more important and valuable than obsessing about going up or down a pound or three on the scale.

The terms high or higher and low or lower weight are user-friendly because they are descriptive and are devoid pf negative connotations. Also, rather than judgmentally labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” it is far more constructive to use the terms high and low or higher and lower nutrition to describe how they fall on the continuum. Again, these terms are descriptive rather than moralistic.

4. Don’t be fooled by willpower. Most people assume that denying ourselves non-nutritious food is fueled by willpower. Not true. As Tracey Mann, PhD, tells us in Secrets from the Eating Lab: The Science of Weight Loss, the Myth of Willpower, and Why You Should Never Diet Again, willpower, though useful in some arenas, works poorly with the biological imperatives of food and sex. Even when willpower is successful, it is not meant to be an infinite source of motivation: we may say yes to eating a brownie 10 times and then give in and eat it the 11th time the craving arises. Willpower gets used up and runs out.

Our goal is to help clients replace willpower with word power, that is, with developing and utilizing self-talk that is compassionate, motivating, positive, intentional and inspiring. Too often clients recognize that they are giving the wrong message to themselves in their quest to grow healthier, but have no idea what to replace their negative, punitive thoughts with. We can help them develop phrases and sentences—mantras—they can practice so that they will eventually become ingrained in their every day self-talk.

5. Focus on developing self-regulation skills. Because overeating is a dysregulation problem, internal conflicts about what is too much and too little generally arise in other areas of overeaters’ lives: they go all out for others, do not get enough sleep, tend to be perfectionists, fear falling short, possess all-or-nothing thinking, and have difficulty finding balance in life. They fail to see that their eating problems are just one more aspect of their “enough disorder,” so it is important to take every opportunity to help them understand how to sense and monitor sufficiency.

Connect the dots for them and gently point out when clients are struggling with doing too much or too little. Are they going overboard attending to their children and not taking time for themselves?

Do they spend more than they save? Do they overdo with gift giving or alcohol? Do they complain about never feeling as if they’re doing enough to please someone? Must everything be perfect or successful? Help them see that by trial and error they can learn to trust themselves to achieve better balance.

PAGE 29

Written by: Karen R. Koeing, LCSW, MEd Karen R. Koenig, LCSW, M.Ed. is a seven-book, award-winning, international author with an eighth book on self-talk due out in January, 2021. An eating psychology expert, educator and blogger, she’s been treating dysregulated eaters for 30+ years, practices in Sarasota, Florida, and can be found at http://www.karenrkoenig.com.

Follow us on Instagram! @fmhca

PAGE 30

PAGE 31

PAGE 32

PAGE 33

PAGE 34

PAGE 35

PAGE 36

PAGE 37

PAGE 38

PAGE 39

PAGE 40

PAGE 41

PAGE 42

Marriage is the most difficult and demanding of all the life tasks. Marriage asks more of its partners than does any other relationship. It’s the most demanding and yet we are prepared less for cooperating with another human being and what could go wrong than any other relationship (Kishimi and Koga, 2013).

When we recognize something is wrong in the marriage, too much time goes into diagnosing the symptoms, which makes matters worse. To compound the problem, we mistakenly believe that we are not responsible for the way we feel. It is always someone else, events outside our self, something chemically wrong with the brain, or my partner needs to change the way he or she behaves towards me. This is known as external control psychology and the number one reason for divorce (Glasser, 2000) (Gottman, 1994).

Contemplating divorce is one of life’s most challenging experiences. Spiritually and emotionally both partners are drained. Their families, children, and friends experience helplessness and agonize with them. To ease the blow, often the couple will seek a trial separation. One of the partners may move back in with a parent or takes a small apartment. Separation is preparation for divorce, and this is not what helps a couple resolve their differences.

When there is severe alcohol or drug abuse and violence, divorce may be the only solution. Under these circumstances, divorce is an honorable way out of a miserable situation. No therapist suggests that a couple tolerate a miserable or abusive situation. However, in the past, it was shameful to get a divorce. Whereas today, the reverse is true, it is shameful if you stay too long in an unhappy situation and you do not get a divorce (Perel, 2017 ).

However, most marriage therapists admit to a bias. They believe in marriage. They believe it is a lifelong commitment. If the marriage is built on a solid relationship than it can often be recaptured and nourished through therapy. A competent marriage therapist will make it difficult for the couple to get a divorce. This is particularly beneficial if the couple decided to end the marriage. They will know they did everything possible to work out their differences and improve the situation. Couples should be aware the anguish of divorce lingers for a long time and liberation is not instant.

PAGE 43

A couple that could not cooperate in marriage now has to cooperate in divorce. To be happily divorce they must still stop all external psychology. Failure to do so means they move from an unhappy marriage to a miserable divorce. If they can learn not to control each other, they can actually have a reasonable divorce.

When therapy, for a marriage becomes the intervention, feelings of worth can be restored. While therapy does not guarantee resolution, it is the first step towards being healthy.

The initial step in therapy should focus on getting the couple to stop fighting.

The goal of a good fight is to win. In a good fight we always know what is best for the other person, and we usually are correct. The problem is the other person is not listening. Instead, they are thinking, “you think you’re so perfect and superior to me, well let me tell about your short coming.” In a fight, we see our partner as an opponent and not as a comrade, therefore we refuse to cooperate. Nothing will change until you get the couple out of the fight.

This also means helping the couple to not only recognize but stop using external control. To do this, you must learn how not to use the seven deadly habits of external control psychology. These are stereotypical habits almost all of us choose to use over and over again without considering the misery they create on others. These are, criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing or rewarding for control (Glasser, 2000).

If you want to immediately improve your marriage, make a choice not to use these habits for four consecutive days. If you have been practicing any of the Seven Deadly Habits and especially criticism, stop it for four days. This includes contemptuous facial expressions, bringing up the past, or reminding, no matter how “nicely” presented. This is not to be done to change your partner’s behavior. You are changing your behavior because it is the decent and reasonable thing to do.

If you would stop all grousing, you will not only feel better about yourself, but you will reduce the tension between you and your spouse. This is a choice that will develop a friendly and supportive atmosphere. It is the first step to rebuilding your marriage, just as the first step to dieting requires you to eat less and exercise more.

References Glasser, W. (2000). Getting together and staying together. New York: HarperCollins.

Gottman, J. (1994). Why marriage succeed and fail. New York: Simon & Schuster.

Kishimi, K & Koga, F. (2013). The courage to be disliked. New York: Atria Books.

Perel, E. (2017). The state of affairs. Great Britain: Yellow Kits.

Written by: Timothy D. Evans. Ph.D. Timothy Evans, Ph. D., is a Florida license Marriage and Family therapist, and an approved supervisor by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy. He has been in practice for over 30 years, Carter and Evans, Marriage and Family Therapy, Tampa.

PAGE 44

PAGE 45

As I am watching a documentary about Joe Biden and the past traumatic life events he has endured (i.e., accidental death of his wife and child, death of a son to cancer), a light went off in my head. I have often used the adage “Don’t let your past define you”. It is a common saying for therapists when dealing with the mental health issues of their clients. It is surely meant as a positive intervention to effect a change in their thinking. But maybe we have it backwards! Or maybe we should re-phrase it more accurately?

Maybe we should add “Don’t let our past unresolved issues define us”.

The above adage is used to help clients see how their pasts have negatively impacted their present situations. It really hits home and is a great way to help them understand that they are not prisoners of their pasts. But that message can be misconstrued once resolution of their pasts has been achieved. Clients may continue to believe their pasts remain weaknesses when, in fact, they have now become part of who they are, and are now strengths.

I know this from my own past traumatic life events. My past events wreaked havoc in my life for four years before reaching a resolution. My past has now become a strength and not a weakness in my work and life. So, my past has now come to define me in a positive way, not a negative way. If I had not resolved my past events, then the adage would have proven truthful and I probably would not be writing this article today. I would have continued by downhill slide.

Unresolved past traumatic events unquestionably cause many problems in our current lives, that I am certain about. I have never experienced nor have I ever heard unresolved traumatic issues having a positive impact in our current lives. So, in this case, the adage is appropriately utilized by therapists. But somewhere along the therapeutic process, I believe a re-write is needed. When clients have successfully resolved their past issues, a feat in and of itself, my re-write is much more effective for them to cling to in their lives. It will always assure those clients that what were once weaknesses are now strengths that need to be remembered as such.

I will simplify the point of this article with an easy exercise. Think about your current lives. If you are struggling with mental health issues (e.g., PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Addictions, etc.) and you feel it relates to your past unresolved issues (e.g., abuse, death, accident, divorce, war, natural disaster, etc.), then you need to first address the impact of those issues before knowing how to define your lives. This is what the above adage refers to. You do not want your unresolved issues and current turbulent or negative lives to define who you are. But once you have addressed the issues and resolved them, then you should want your pasts to define who you are.

PAGE 46

I make it my business to always remember how my past traumatic life events have impacted my current life. It has become my “go to” thinking when processing current issues. When feeling stuck or stressed, I now stop everything I am doing and assess whether it relates to my old beliefs re-occurring. Yes, reoccurring! When current events are going in a negative direction, I will always reassess the reasons. I believe it is extremely dangerous for your mental health when you think you have conquered your pasts and must never forget it and put it aside. I have found that thinking to be regressive. This is not to confuse that the past has been resolved, but to remind us that we are human and always susceptible to resort to old ways.

Resolving my past traumatic events has become my strength and makes me who I am today. So, “let your past define who you are” has become my mantra. It has also helped me remain humble regardless of any success that has come my way. It has also raised my level of empathy and understanding to those who still suffer from unresolved past trauma.

Our lives are relative to our beliefs. What “defines” you, is up to you and the work you are willing to do to get there. So, I now say “Don’t let your past unresolved issues define who you are” to current clients who have not resolved their pasts. A much better conclusion and rewrite for this adage! And for me, and all clients who have done the work to resolve their past events, I say to them, “Let your past define who you are!”.

Written by: Vincent Strumolo, LMFT

Mr. Vincent Strumolo is a LMFT and has been working in the trauma, mental health, and addictions arena since 1990. Mr. Strumolo has specialized in the treatment of childhood and adulthood trauma. He has co-authored a book chapter “A Non-traditional Treatment of Youth with Conduct Disorders” which was published in 1998 (Carolina Academic Press).

He has conducted National and International workshops on trauma. Mr. Strumolo has developed a framework for therapy called Resolution Focused Therapy (RFT).

PAGE 47

As I write this article, I don’t know who’s going to be inaugurated as president of the United States in January, and the election results may still be challenged by the time you read this article. Twenty years of clinical experience has taught me that regardless of who wins the election, four things are certain: 1. Some of my clients are going to be upset, and they’re going to want to talk about it; 2. Some of my clients are going to be happy with the outcome; 3. Some of my clients won’t care much either way; and 4. Some of my colleagues will be upset, and some of them are going to want to talk about it.

In this article, I’ll offer some suggestions for how to address pre- and post-election discontent —“political dysphoria”—for both counselors and clients.

COUNSELOR, KNOW AND HEAL THYSELF! The AMHCA Code of Ethics calls upon clinical mental health counselors (CMHCs) to maintain objectivity (I.A.1); to take care of our own mental health so that we can be centered for our clients (I.C.1.h); to understand the role of our beliefs, values, and biases in our clinical work while seeking to better understand our clients (I.C.1.m); and to refrain from discriminating against our clients for their politcal beliefs (I.C.2.c).

These ethical prerogatives raise some interesting and bold questions. Have you become politically self-righteous? What do your personal social-media posts look like? Do you think that your beliefs are right, and the other side is wrong? Do you think that labeling the other side “communists,” “fascists,” “Nazis,” or “libtards” helps your case? Do you mock people who view things differently than you? Are you demonizing, scapegoating, or shaming them? What kind of example are you setting for your clients?

PAGE 48

I think that it’s important to note that we CMHCs are biased and are not as politically diverse as the general population. In a study I conducted with my colleague Tony Tan, EdD, I found that CMHCs are more likely to (a) identify as politically liberal; (b) be registered with the Democratic Party; and (c) endorse liberal political beliefs as compared to the general population. You can read more about our study at tinyurl.com/y5tl39qr. See how the CMHCs we studied describe their political ideology in the pie chart below. For a more refined breakdown of CMHC’s self-described political ideology, see t.ly/oqkh.

JOINING IN WITH YOUR CLIENT When clients present with political dysphoria, I think that in the early state of therapy it is important to let them vent and discuss their frustrations in a therapeutic and nonjudgmental environment.

When a CMHC disagrees with a client’s political views, not challenging them may require some internal work. If your client is troubled about political maters, I can assure you that regardless of what side your client is on, your client is thinking morally.

Moral Foundatons Theory (MFT) is a pluralist fusion of social psychological, neuropolitcal, and anthropological research that provides a useful model for seeing the good in your client’s perspectve. MFT proposes that human moral reasoning can be divided into six foundatons that evolved in human beings concurrent with the development of civilizaton: Care/Harm: Virtues of kindness, gentleness, and nurturance fostered by our ability to feel and dislike the pain of others; Fairness/Cheating: Virtues of justice, rights, autonomy that can be further divided into two types of fairness: equality and proportionality; Liberty/Oppression: Characterized by people’s feelings of reactance and resentment towards those who dominate them and restrict their liberty; a contempt for “bullies” an oppressors; Loyalty/Betrayal: Virtues of patriotism and self-sacrifice for the group; Authority/Subversion: Virtues of leadership and followership, including respect of legitimate authority and traditions; Sanctity/Degradation: Reflective of the idea that the body is a temple that should not be desecrated by immoral activities or contaminants.

PAGE 49

Each of these six foundations plays a role in civilized, peaceful co-existence. Conservatives tend to emphasize nearly all six moral foundations equally, whereas liberals emphasize the care foundation above all others, and libertarians emphasize the liberty foundation above all others. If you are a CMHC, and you disagree with your client’s political positions, you can modulate that disagreement with the awareness that your client’s intentions are likely good, looking for evidence of these moral foundations. You can remind yourself that a balanced world needs conservatives, liberals, and libertarians. Use your active listening skills as your client laments political outcomes. Ask questions.

Learn more. Demonstrate empathy and understanding. Validate what makes sense to validate. Don’t make the interaction about you and your beliefs. Seek to find your client’s underlying posiitve intentons.

CONTROLLING WHAT WE CAN CONTROL: HELPING CLIENTS TAKE ACTION “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the diference.” —The Serenity Prayer (atributed to Reinhold Niebuhr)

“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate maters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil?

Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own.” —Epictetus

Prior to earning his freedom from slavery, the Greek philosopher Epictetus learned the same principle that Victor Frankl learned in the concentration camp at Auschwitz and that people in recovery from addictions recite all over the world—there is power in letting go of what is beyond our control while acting boldly on what is within our control.

Empowerment is critical. It is important to help clients to direct their energy away from what they cannot control and towards how they can be impactful. Here are some examples of what clients can do: Vote (and encourage others to do the same) Participate in peaceful protests Volunteer for a political party, organization, or cause that they identify with Dialogue with others about what they believe and why Donate to a cause they believe in Lead by example Share resources with others Write about their positions and principles Run for politcal office

PAGE 50

In addition to these strategies, you can help clients to develop skills they can use to more effectively influence peers, friends, and family members. Attacking the opposition won’t get your client far.

Those of us trained in motivational interviewing know that if a person is ambivalent about a healthy behavioral change, then advocating too intensely for change may push a client towards resistance.

Better to influence through relationship.

I offer clients the following recommendations for a healthy political dialogue with others: Before you give your own perspective about a controversial issue, start by learning more about the other person’s perspective. Ask questions (e.g., “What do you want to be different?” “What are you concerned about?” “What about this is troubling to you?” “Why is this issue important to you?”).

When you think you have a clearer picture of the other person’s perspective, summarize your understanding of his or her perspective to check in and make sure you do understand. In relationship counseling, this is often referred to as “mirroring” or “summarizing.” If the other person does not think you understand, ask him or her to clarify and then continue mirroring until he or she agrees that you have it right.

After mirroring, validate anything about the other person’s perspective that you agree with or find commendable (e.g., “I really like that you’re concerned about whether or not this piece of legislation is fair. I have the same concern.” “I can see that you really care about others’ suffering, and I admire your compassion.”).

After validating, introduce your own perspective, using “I-language” (e.g., I feel, I think, I’m concerned about, I believe, I’d prefer, etc.).

Try to keep the dialogue respectful (e.g., monitor your tone of voice, avoid interrupting, avoid labeling and exaggerating, etc.). If you notice yourself getting upset, you can acknowledge that you are too passionate about the issue to have a respectful dialogue at the moment and then politely terminate or postpone the conversation. You can later reflect on what was going in within you during the discussion. As Confucius said, “When we see [people] of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.”

Release the need to be “right,” and the need for the other person to see things as you do.

Political, religious, and moral issues are controversial precisely because there are so many valid, reasonable points on both sides of the argument. Practice accepting that others do not believe as you do and shift your attention to understanding the other person’s perspective, and to attempting to help the other person to understand yours. The goal here is understanding, not necessarily persuasion.

REDUCING EMOTIONAL INTENSITY THROUGH COGNITIVE CHALLENGING AND RESTRUCTURING If a client is doing what is within the client’s control, the remaining task involves acceptance. This often doesn’t come easily, as it involves challenging one’s thinking. When I read social media posts of some of my friends, family, and—yes, even my colleagues—I see statements that concern me. They look like cognitive distortions—thinking traps that people engage in that are irrational (i.e., maladaptive and illogical) and that feed intense and unpleasant emotions. After teaching clients cognitive distortions, provide them with political statements and see if they can match those statements to cognitive distortions.

PAGE 51

Because of salience bias, the human tendency to focus on information that is odd, unusual, extreme, or noteworthy rather than what is benign, common, neutral, or uncontroversial, media provides a skewed picture of American civics—one that is very oppositional and combative. In reality, most of us are getting along just fine and agreeing on most things. Here are some examples of exercises that might help counter salience bias: Do you think political debate is more polarized than it’s ever been? It’s easy to buy into this, especially after seeing the first presidential debate this year, but check out the ads between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams in the early 1800s! Those ads—and many others in American history—make contemporary ads look benign. For that mater, watch some of the debates in Parliament in the United Kingdom and India on YouTube. They get pretty intense. In the words of both Stoic philosophers and various characters in Battlestar Galactica, “All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.” (By the way, Jefferson and Adams were good friends both before and after their contentious election: bit.ly/2Iao0jM.) Are you a liberal who is frustrated when either the White House or Congress veers “red”?

Consider the big picture. When my grandfather, who is still with us, was born, there was no Medicare, government-funded healthcare, minimum wage, or unemployment benefits. Income taxes were new and women had only been able to vote for a few years; there was widespread overt and covert racism; gay marriage and transgender rights weren’t even on the Nation’s radar; there was no Civil Rights Act; people in the United States sometimes died of starvation; an entre town of Black citizens were murdered in my state of Florida and there was no justice (i.e., Rosewood, FL); and within a couple of decades, the United States would be placing Japanese Americans into concentration camps without any evidence of wrongdoing. We’ve changed an awful lot in just one lifetime, and much of this change is appreciated by both conservatives and liberals. Learn more about human progress at humanprogress.org, or read “The Rational Optimist” by Mat Ridley. In almost any objective measure of human suffering, humanity fares better now than at any time in history. This doesn’t mean we don’t have a long way to go, but it also doesn’t mean we’re getting worse.

Do you think your side is rational and the other side isn’t? Take any political ad, speech, or statement, and filter it though a list of cognitive distortions (e.g., psychcentral.com/lib/15common-cognitve-distortons). If you become skilled at identifying thinking traps, you’ll find that it doesn’t mater what side of the aisle you’re on— your side is often irrational. Better yet: Before sharing that scandalous post about wrongdoing on the other side, consider fact-checking the information you‘re looking at. Snopes.com, Factcheck.org, and Politfact.com are some great resources for this.

Do you think our country is not tolerant of political dissidence? Do you think that red and blue can’t co-exist civilly? Flipboard has put together a great collection of articles and videos that remind us that all in all—conservatives and liberals (and everyone else) do a pretty good job of co-existing peacefully, civilly, and even with love and respect bit.ly/2U3WNC3.

Are you afraid that if “the other side” wins, horrible things will happen? It’s okay to be concerned, but it’s also good to have an objective gauge. CMHCs can help clients create a list of what they are afraid will happen, preferably in specific terms (e.g., gay marriage will be banned, the 2nd Amendment will be repealed) rather than general (e.g., we’ll lose our rights). I have helped clients revisit these lists for years, and they are surprised to see how few of their fears are ever realized.

PAGE 52

Do you spend more time on media that feeds your political bias? Not only are many news outlets biased, but social media algorithms are designed to detect information you favor and feed you more of the same, further skewing your view of reality. Consider watching or reading a diverse group of news sources. Even apps can help! For example, Ground News shows you the political bias of each source as you view your daily news and tracks your bias based on what you view.

Knewz shows you a trending topic and then provides links to a variety of articles on that topic so that you can see how diferently each source reports the informaton.

PUT IT IN PERSPECTIVE: IT IS TEMPORARY The American political system is a pendulum—for every action, there is a reaction. In my lifetime alone, I have seen both Congress and the White House shift back and forth from Red to Blue to Red to Blue over and over again.

No mater who takes control, understand this: it is temporary. A counterreaction is coming right around the corner. In the meantime, you and your clients can do what you can do to support the causes and politicians that you favor, and to practice your principles in your daily life. *Article reprinted from Fall 2020 issue The Advocate Magazine, the official magazine of the American Mental Health Counselors Association, with the author’s permission.

RESOURCES Take the Moral Foundations Questionnaire and learn more about your moral foundations at www.yourmorals.org.

Read “The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion,” a book by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, PhD. Check out facts that fill your heart with optimism at humanprogress.org.

Read “The Rational Optimist: How Prosperity Evolves,” by Mat Ridley.

Check out a collection of articles on how liberals, conservatives, and everyone else live in harmony at bit.ly/2U3WNC3.

Read “7 Steps to Alleviating Election Anxiety” in Psychiatric Times, by H. Dr. Steven Mofc, MD, at bit.ly/3k99l5R. Read more about my study of mental health counselors’ political beliefs, and whether those beliefs impact the quality or nature of the therapeutic relationship between counselor and client at bit.ly/332jJX4.

View the Facebook LIVE discussion on “Managing Value Conflicts Post-2020 Election,” held Nov. 13, 2020, and co-hosted by the American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA) and the Association for Counselor Education and Supervision (ACES) at www.facebook.com/amhca.

Read Medical News Today’s “How to Look After Your Mental Health in the Aftermath of the Election” at bit.ly/3nDPKN5.

Read Bustle’s “7 Strategies for Dealing With Political Conversations Over the Holidays,” at fip.it/bp9cS-.

Are you passionate about addressing political bias in counselor education? Check out www.heterodoxacademy.org, and consider joining the Heterodoxy in Counseling Facebook Group at www.facebook.com/groups/679550992696834!

PAGE 53

We clinical mental health counselors (CMHCs) are biased and are not as politically diverse as the general population. In a study I conducted with my colleague Tony Tan, EdD, I found that CMHCs are more likely to: • Identify as politically liberal; • Be registered with the Democratic Party; and • Endorse liberal political beliefs as compared to the general population.

Read more about our study at tnyurl.com/y5tl39qr.

Aaron Norton, LMHC, LMFT, MCAP, CCMHC, CRC, CFMHE, is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Forensic Mental Health Evaluator, and Certified Forensic Behavioral Analyst who serves as executive director of the National Board of Forensic Evaluators, Southern Regional director for AMHCA, president of the Florida Mental Health Counselors Association, and adjunct instructor at the University of South Florida.

He has 20 years of clinical experience providing psychotherapy and clinical and forensic evaluation (www.anorton.com).

PAGE 54

PAGE 55

Imagine for a moment, a family of ducks peacefully paddling through a calm stretch of water, all in a perfect line following mama duck. What a perfect sight that is. Mama duck has all of her ducklings in nice neat row and she is the envy of all who look on. How is it that nature has a way of getting it right?

The bigger question- How is it that an infinitely more intelligent being, such as a human, can get it all wrong?

I think it’s possible that our complex human brains work against us in many situations. Our history, our story, our narrative leaves us with our ducks scattered all over the place. But why? I’ve asked myself that question repeatedly and through therapy (a lot of therapy!) I have come up with a theory. Our brains seek to make sense of our environment. Our mind tells us things to placate us on some level- to keep us aware, to keep us safe and ultimately, to keep us alive.

The truth is that we all have a family of ducks that float around within ourselves. Our ducks are quite different oftentimes than that serene image of a family of ducks paddling by. My ducks are not in a row. In fact, some of my ducks don’t know how to get in a row or even care to get in that ridiculously perfect line. My ducks are scattered, tired, reactive, and unruly.

When I refer to my ducks, what I’m actually referring to is my different parts. We all have distinctly different parts and they all serve a unique purpose. Some of my ducks serve me well, while others hold me back. My most prominent duck, “panic duck” likes to freak out and problem solve by nearly drowning. Clearly this duck isn’t serving me in the way that is most beneficial, but he does indeed have a purpose. I also have an angry duck that likes to point out and stew on every injustice that’s ever happened to me or anyone else in the world. Angry duck also has a purpose, although if he stands alone, his purpose does not serve me well either.

So what does all of this mean? I started identifying my ducks in an effort to understand their purpose and I have (painfully so) removed the positive or negative label that I naturally assigned to all of them.

For example, “panic duck” isn’t all bad... panic simply wants to keep me safe. Figuring that out gives an intellectual explanation to rationalize his behavior. Panic duck luckily has a counterpart that I can call on to keep him under control. Rational duck can meet panic duck and they can converse on a suitable course of action. My brain naturally wants to let panic do his thing, without remembering to call on rational duck for a second opinion. The struggle lies in remembering that he does in fact have a sibling that can really lend a hand (or a wing) in times of danger.

I have so many different ducks. Countless parts of me that all have a purpose. There’s shame duck, smart duck, funny duck, dumb duck, peacemaker duck, traumatized duck, screw it duck, passionate

PAGE 56

duck, helper duck, smart ass duck, mama bear duck... on and on. My “duck work” has a long way to go in finding and recognizing the counterparts to all of these ducks and integrating them so they don’t fight each other, and are able to work together with ease, and resemble that original picture of those ducks paddling along in a row.

We all have ducks. Some of us are better at managing our ducks than others, but we all have them just the same. I challenge you to identify a few of your ducks and find their meaning and purpose.

Spending some time doing some duck work may ultimately lead to more peace and harmony. My hope is for you and me both, to find a more balanced and peaceful place as we navigate through the journey of life.

Written by: Erin Alexandria Birdsall, MSW, LCSW Special interest in children and families, trauma and healing and finding the key to being the best version of yourself!

PAGE 57

PAGE 58

If you are a mental health counselor and you have a patient who has a mental health disorder that is disabling, he or she may qualify for disability benefits from the Social Security Administration (SSA).

The disability claims process is complicated and requires hard medical evidence, so you may be able to help him or her qualify for Social Security Disability benefits and guide them through the claims process.

Medically Qualifying For Disability Benefits The SSA recognizes mental health conditions as disabling. There are dozens of different mental health issues that can keep an individual from working, including depressive disorders, psychotic disorders, autism, organic mental disorders, personality disorders, anxiety-related conditions, substance addiction, and more. Each condition is evaluated according to its own specific set of criteria.

The SSA has a medical guide, which is called the Blue Book, that has listings with the criteria for different disabling conditions. For a claimant to be approved for disability benefits, you must show that he or she meets the criteria of the listing or that the overall total of all his or her disabling conditions are equivalent to the specific listed criteria of that condition. You can also show that the condition is so severe it prevents the claimant for engaging in gainful activity. Depending on the condition, you may be required to show that the individual is seeking medical treatment and is complying with physician’s orders.

Using A RFC A residual functional capacity (RFC) form can be a beneficial asset to a disability claim. You can complete the RFC detailing what you know about your client. It should indicate what he or she can and cannot do despite their mental health disorder. A treating physician, should as a psychiatrist or psychologist, could complete the RFC to help the claimant get approved. It will detail memory issues, communication problems, if there is difficulty working with others, any social problems, the inability to focus, if there are problems completing a task, and so forth. Even if the claimant cannot meet the specifics of a listing in the Blue Book, he or she could be approved with a completed RFC. Other Documentation To qualify for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI), the claimant must have worked to earn enough credits. There will need to be a detailed work history dating back at least 10 years. To be covered by SSDI, the claimant must have worked the equivalent of 5 years full-time out of the last 10 years. Supplemental Security Income (SSI) is a needs-based disability program. To qualify for SSI, you must meet medical criteria as well as financial requirements. Proof of income, detailed records of financial assets, such as bank records, investment records, property deeds, vehicle registrations, and so forth will be necessary.

PAGE 59

Applying For Disability Benefits You can help your patient apply for disability benefits, but you should gather all the supporting documentation to get the claim underway. You can start the claim online or by calling 1-800-772-1213 and speaking with a representative.

Resources Found Via: https://www.ssa.gov/ https://www.ssa.gov/benefits/disability https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/ https://www.disability-benefits-help.org/blog/how-to-know-if-condition-is-disabling-enough https://www.disability-benefits-help.org/blog/role-doctor-plays-disability-application-process https://www.ssa.gov/OP_Home/cfr20/416/416-0945.htm https://www.ssa.gov/applyfordisability/ This article was written by the Outreach Team at Disability Benefits Help. They provide information about disability benefits and the application process. To learn more, please visit their website at http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/ or by emailing them at help@ssd-help.org.

PAGE 60

PAGE 61

LEGISLATIVE UPDATE Medicare Parity The American Mental Health Counselors Association (AMHCA), our parent chapter on a national level, issued a call to action to all members to contact their legislators in support of HR 945, which would give counselors and marriage and family therapists Medicare billing privileges. This is first time in U.S. history that a standalone bill for Medicare parity has been voted on by a legislative committee (two, in fact)! Its companion bill in the Senate, S.286, is currently on hold as the Senate does not wish to take action until the bill has passed in the House. This makes contact with your congressional representatives vital!

Federal Government Creates Government Occupational Code for Mental Health Counselors President Trump signed S.785 into law, adding mental health counselors to the federal occupational code system. Implications include increased career opportunities for mental health counselors working in the federal government and significantly improved inclusion of mental health counselors in federal government agency activities involving the mental health professions. The bill could even make it easier for counselors to get Medicare parity and to be able to serve as service members in the military in the sense that the bill would make it easier for government agencies to hire counselors.

Click here to read more details from AMHCA. How the 2020 Election Might Impact Our Profession -I recently wrote an article for AMHCA’s The Advocate Magazine entitled, “Therapy After the Election: Helping Clients—and Ourselves—Deal with Unwanted Results.” Click here to read it.

-AMHCA recently held a leadership summit providing an update on how the 2020 election might impact our profession. Click here to read the slides from Dave Bergman, President & CEO of Bergman Strategies, LLC, and click here to read the slides from Joel Miller, CEO and Executive Director of AMHCA. Also, AMHCA, ACES, and NAADAC partnered on a Facebook Live Event entitled “2020 Election: Managing Valuers Conflicts Post-Election.” Check out the video recording by clicking here.

PAGE 62

-Click here to read an article in the Tampa Bay Times about a 2-1 decision by the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to strike down conversion therapy bans in Palm Beach County and the City of Boca Raton, FL. The reasoning in the majority opinion is that if local governments can restrict freedom of speech by prohibiting therapists from providing conversion or reparative therapy, then the inverse is true— local governments can prohibit therapists from validating same-sex attractions (i.e., such a case precedent could be used in harmful ways as well as helpful ways).

-The federal court decision addresses a specific legal question about reparative therapy bans, but it says nothing about what is ethical and unethical for counselors. The American Mental Health Counselors Association opposes conversion therapy, FMHCA has reiterated this position, and last year FMHCA supported a bill that would prevent healthcare professionals from providing conversion therapy to minors.

NAADAC Asks Addictions Professionals to Voice Opposition to Marijuana Bill -NAADAC, the Association for Addictions Professionals, recently sent an action alert asking counselors to contact their legislators to voice opposition to HR 3884, which would fully legalize and commercialize marijuana. While NAADAC support decriminalization, it “does not currently support the use of cannabis as medicine or for recreational purposes, and therefore opposes the bill as written.” Read more here.

AMHCA Executive Director Releases Mental Health Policy Week in Review -Joel Miller, the E.D. of AMHCA, periodically releases mental health policy reviews updating counselors on important policy actions nationwide. Click here to read his most recent update.

STATE LEGISLATIVE UPDATE

-The legislature is not in session, and few bills have been filed for the upcoming legislative session, so there is limited news to report at this time.

-FMHCA’s Government Relations Committee (GRC) is working with its lobbyist, Corinne Mixon of Rutledge & Ecenia, to draft a COVID-19 mental health bill that would: (1) remove the requirement that registered interns working in private practice settings have a licensed mental health professional on the premises when providing clinical services, and (2) clarify that LMHCs, LMFTs, and LCSWs can be appointed by courts to conduct evaluations for the courts. A legislative sponsor has been identified, and additional details will be provided in the future. Click here for a more in-depth summary.

-Click here to read an update from Corinne Mixon, the lobbyist for FMHCA, on state election results that are pertinent to our field.

-Corinne also alerted us that on 12/11/20 Governor DeSantis directed more than $23 million in federal coronavirus relief funding toward Florida’s state mental health system after a grand jury called the system “woefully defunded.” Click here to read the details.

PAGE 63