COMBINED MINDS

WHAT DOES YOUR FAVORITE SUMMER COCKTAIL SAY ABOUT YOU

Words by Ambar Ramirez and Carmen Macri

CARMEN: Summer is here! And with it comes long sunny days and cold cocktails – at least for us. I don’t know what y’all get into, but the second it’s 85 degrees outside I need a spicy margarita in my hand.

AMBAR: We all have that one drink that’s our go-to for the hot summer months. And we’ve found that you can tell a lot about a person based on their cocktail of choice.

CARMEN: And when we say a lot, we mean A LOT.

AMBAR: So if you’ve been having an identity crisis, don’t worry, we’ll let you know the type of person you are.

CARMEN: And without further adieu, here is our officially unofficial guide to what your favorite summer cocktail says about you! I’ll get us started. A Dirty Shirley. If your drink of choice is a Dirty Shirley you are not yet legal and should not be inside of this establishment. You want the elegance of an Aperol Spritz, but can’t handle the palate.

AMBAR: That said, if your cocktail of choice is an Aperol Spritz, I don’t trust you. You probably have your life together and can afford a Euro-Summer. You like your 9-5, and dare I say, you’re a bit pretentious.

CARMEN: Long Island Iced Tea. If this monstrosity is your drink of choice, you are either lying to yourself and everyone around you or you are an alcoholic. There is absolutely no in-between.

AMBAR: If you crave a Piña Colada during the summer months then you probably have a strong sweet tooth and are all about feeding your inner child. And if you’re drinking this consistently, then you probably don’t have any family medical history of diabetes. Congrats!

CARMEN: If your drink of choice is a spicy margarita you are undoubtedly the hottest and funniest in your friend group. Everyone loves to be around your chaotic energy, and you also have never been wrong before a day in your life!

AMBAR : Clearly, we know what drink Carmen is having this summer.

CARMEN: And what about it?

AMBAR : It’s OK ’cause I’m also drinking spicy margaritas … every day of the year. Now, if you’re not into all the great things a margarita has to offer but your alcohol of choice is tequila, you’re probably ordering a paloma. If you are drinking palomas this summer, you’re a pretty bubbly and normal person by day and a freak by night.

CARMEN: Are you better than everyone else? Does no one understand your music taste? Do you watch super underground indie movies that we “probably haven’t even heard of before”? Well, if that’s the case then you likely enjoy a nice, cold Tom Collins – and letting everyone around you know that you just “prefer gin over vodka.”

AMBAR: Enjoy a nice Mai Tai? Your name is probably John Lawless and are a movie aficionado (but not the kind who would drink a Tom Collins). You’re spending most of the summer in your backyard with the grill on, wearing a floral top and khakis.

CARMEN: And if you’re drinking anything else, you’re boring and probably spending summer in federal prison. Or you are a recovering alcoholic. If that’s the case, keep up the good work! We’re so proud of you!