DEAR DUMBS

Dear Dumbs!

Your podcast is the only thing I look forward to. I know how sad that sounds but I actually live a wonderful life.

I do have an issue with my older sister though. We get along just fine, but we’ve never been close. At times it feels like we’re growing closer and this past weekend was one of them. At least that’s the vibe I was getting.

We went to Las Vegas for a few days, and I was having one of the better times I’ve had with her. I usually feel like I’m walking on eggshells when she’s around but it seemed like Vegas was bringing out the best of us. We were laughing and taking pictures. She gave me her phone to share one of those photos and a text came through. Apparently she had been spending the entire weekend texting someone about how much she hates me and that she’s “so over dealing with my BS.”

I don’t know why but I was taken aback. I was so hurt and didn’t know what to say. I sat the phone on the table and pretended that I didn’t see it. I don’t think I want to try to be close to her. Seeing what she says about me behind my back is still very painful for me.

What would The Dumbs do?

Kim M. Tulsa, OK

TERRY: I hate her, and I want to say it to her face.

SHARI: I feel the same way. I’m so sorry you had to see that, Kim.

TERRY: I have so many questions though. What is the “BS” she’s talking about? Is there something you need to work on? If your answer is “no” then I’m back to hating her again.

SHARI: Siblings are hard to deal with. There’s years of hurt feelings that are usually never addressed. There’s jealousy issues too.

TERRY: Yes. I’m very lucky that I’m in a good space with my brothers and sister. Yes, there have been times when I chose not to talk to them for a while, but I usually call and apologize for something I never did.

SHARI: You want to be liked too much.

TERRY: Right again.

SHARI: Well, my advice is for Terry and Kim then. Why would you put yourself through this more than you have to?

TERRY: OK ... Take me out of this because I think I’ve been doing a better job. Continue.

SHARI: I know I’m not the first person to say this, but I really do believe it. You don’t have to hang out with someone just because they’re family.

TERRY: True, Kim. If you didn’t know them, would you want to be friends? We know your answer so take action. I personally would go one step further and tell her what you know. Otherwise it will give her more reason to talk trash about you.

SHARI : Lay it all on the table. Remain calm when you do it. Tell her that it hurt and that talking badly about you behind your back is the line she crossed. She’s a small person. Who needs her.

TERRY: That’s my girl! Your unique life, planned.