{AMISH COMMUNITY NEWS} Vol. 5 No. 9
July 10, 2013
After the warmth of a summer sun, we rock on our porch when day’s work is done.
And we share in the laughter! Chuckle
During a visit to a mental hospital, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. “Well,” said the director, “we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.” “Oh, I understand.” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.” “No.” said the director. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
Wasting Time Fussing
Chuckle
Chuckle
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. “Where are you hurting?” the doctor asked. “You have to help me; I hurt all over,” she said. “What do you mean, all over?” asked the doctor, “Be a little more specific.” The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe, “Ow, even THAT hurts” she cried. The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, “You have a broken finger.”
A couple of young siblings were sitting together in church. Finally the six-year-old sister had had enough of her little brother’s giggling and talking out loud. “You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church,” she hissed at him. “Why? Who’s going to stop me?” the little boy challenged. The big sister pointed to the back of the church and said, “See those two men standing by the door? They’re hushers.”
Chuckle
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “ I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!”
By Sarah Miller An old lady from the country went for the first time in a railway journey of about 50 miles through an interesting and beautiful region. She was so happy to see so much and enjoy it all so greatly. But, it took her so long to get her basket and parcels adjusted, her seat comfortably arranged, the shades right, that she was just settling down to enjoy her trip when the conductor called out the name of her station and she had to get up and hustle out. “Oh, my,” she said, “if I’d only known that we would be here so soon, I wouldn’t have wasted time fussing.” Dear friends, the wheels of time are flying; the last station is near at hand; these things are all so trifling. Live as you would wish to be living when the porter calls out the last station and don’t waste time “fussing”.
Here is something I found in my desk the other day … From William Bender A 6-year-old girl submitted the following composition on people to her teacher: People are composed of girls and boys, also men and women. Boys are no good at all until they grow up and get married. Men who don’t get married are no good either. Boys are an awful bother; they want everything they see except soap. My ma is a woman; my pa is a man. A woman is a grown up girl with children. My pa is such a nice man that I think he must have been a girl when he was a boy.
Next issue Plain Country– July 31. Editorial deadline – Mon., July 15. Advertising deadline– Fri., July 19 Please send the information to share to Plain Country, P.O. Box 626, Middlefield, OH 44062, or call 440-632-0782 or fax to 440-834-8933. Subscriptions are available for $25 per year.