3
What the Bleep is Foolish Times? Foolish Times is a free monthly tabloid publishing the best humor we can find (some months we search harder than others). The opinions or ideas expressed by contributors are not necessarily those of Foolish Times, its owner, advertisers, or associates, or their extended families, or their friends or neighbors, or their associated pen pals, up to and including cockatiels. All articles, graphics, photographs, and what-not (especially the what-not) are copyrighted by the so-called”writers” and”artists” who contribute them. Foolish Times uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
Advertisers For rate information, email sales@foolishtimes.net or call 831.648.1038 For rat information, call your exterminator
List of Fools Chucklehead...........................Stevie P. Editorial Fool...........................Susie Q. Art Fool.........................Mama Morgan Intern Fool............................Cynthia P. Sales Fool................................Sadie O.
Contributors
The Chucklehead Speaks We had a little fun with beards in the April issue. Sorry ladies that we didn’t poke fun at your facial hair. We just couldn’t come up with family friendly humor to broach the subject. I am all in on beards. I didn’t shave for a few days and decided to grow it out. I knew there may be a few challenges and reality set in quickly while standing on Alvarado Street, a homeless person handed me a dollar. My life is about going all in. If Ronald Regan didn’t close down Agnews and the other facilities that house likeminded people, I was planning on residing there. Go all in. I was all in on my marriage until she decided she wasn’t. Maybe she didn’t like my early retirement plan at Agnews. I hear the food was good. Go all in. Don’t go half way, go all the way. Grow a beard? All in. Want to find love? Go all in. find trouble? All in. In trouble because of love? This comes with the territory and can’t be avoided.
Nike’s tag line, ‘Just do it’ sounds wimpy. Going all in is more meaningful and has no wiggle room or grey area. There isn’t time to look around to get permission. Getting a note from your Mom isn’t an option. All in to getting up early. Go all in to a gym membership and actually use it. All in to not letting work interfere with day time beer drinking. Looking in the mirror, my beard is not the color is used to be when I first grew facial hair to help stay warm during east coast winters. It’s now platinum with a dash of pepper. It also itches and I feel like I need to wash my face every hour. I’m told it looks distinguished. Facial hair can deceive people into saying things they don’t mean. I’m going to shave it off and be done with it. It was nice while it lasted. It felt good to be all in until being all in doesn’t work anymore. I’m going to start shaving every day again and I’m just going to do it.
Stevie P. / publisher@foolishtimes.net
Tony Albano, Bini, Charles Birimisa,Ted Gargiulo, Jann Gargiulo, Debbie Harris, Michael Houston, Craig Hubler, Daria James, Robyn Justo, Rex Keyes Dana Larabee, Jay Russell, Mary Tompsett, Monty Truitt
Cartoonists
Andre Adams, Will Bullas, Max Cannon, Roger Freed, Chris Myers, Chuck Scardina, David Schmidt, Monte Truitt
Foolish Times • P.O. Box 4046 Monterey, CA 93942 831.648.1038 • www.foolishtimes.net