For All The Girls Magazine - Issue 5 by For All The Girls Magazine

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M A G A Z I N E ISSUE 5 WHITE OVER THE WALLS THE OVERWHELMING

AMI DELABBIO

TAKEOVER OF UNSUSTAINABLE FASHION

LEILA DURANTE

RAINBOW CAPITALISM, THE COMMODIFICATION OF PRIDE

ALLISON

MAK

CONTENTS 2

EDITOR'S NOTE

SQUID GAME: A PARALLEL TO SOCIETY

RAINBOW CAPITALISM: THE COMMODIFICATION OF PRIDE

THE OVERWHELMING TAKEOVER OF UNSUSTAINABLE FASHION

A HISTORY OF THE ROMANTICIZATION OF LOLITA

THE FRENCH DISPATCH

HOW TO BECOME A PRO AT NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

WRITERS FEATURED

MISOGYNY IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief

Georgia Pomozova-Mann

Managing Editor Ella Ionescu

Creative Director Alyssa Zhang

Public Relations Manager Sipora West

Content Curator Anastasia Dimas

Social Media Manager Izzy Gelman

Business Manager Leila Durante

Media Coordinator Juliana Dela Torre

EDITOR'S NOTE

Dear readers, Happy New Year—from our family to yours! While the start of 2022 may have arrived nearly a month ago, the year is still fresh and the opportunities endless! We truly hope you all have a fabulous year full of health, happiness, love, and growth. Though the release of our fifth issue has come much later than anticipated, our team wanted to ensure we were putting forth our best work possible. The continuation of For All The Girls relies on the satisfaction of our amazing community, and we saw it to be crucial that we provided you all with top-notch articles, designs, and ideas. Our team thanks you all for your continued upliftment, kindness, and tenderness. We truly would not be where we are without the support of our tremendous community! Cheers to Issue 5! 2

Georgia Pomozova-Mann EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

THE INTERNALIZED MALE GAZE Sarah Carnat There is much to consider when choosing an outfit. The weather, for example, must be considered if one intends on spending time outdoors. Pockets can be helpful for earphones and transit cards; I often choose my pants accordingly. But I don’t spend an unnecessarily long time staring at myself in the mirror unsatisfied with my choice of t-shirt for any of these reasons. What I carefully consider is whether or not my potential suitors will applaud my nonchalance (loose mom jeans) and individuality (cool dangly earrings), or if they will notice my fertility (standard girl-clothes usually comply with this demand). I do not derive my aesthetic preferences from what I anticipate these suitors will appreciate, flaunting those preferences unassumingly with the hope that their reception might better my chances at eventually producing children can’t hurt. In most cases, anyway. This way of thinking naturally extends beyond my outfit choices. It affects the conversations I have, the way I present myself in public, and perhaps even the things I am interested in. And it has obviously manifested itself in my decision-making for reasons beyond my dormant reproductive impulses. I have been exposed, throughout my life, to many different representations of individuals who have acted and dressed in certain ways, and who have been labeled accordingly. For the purpose of this article, I will focus on the representations of women in the media behaving in both public and private spaces as it caters to what we consider the ‘male gaze’. Further, how the consumption of this media engrains itself in the minds of female perceivers and instills in them a false sense of being watched by a male audience even when one isn’t present. This phenomenon, often referred to as the internalized male gaze, can be described as a perpetual state of performance for a hypothetical onlooker that will compare your behavior to that of a desirable woman. It is the compulsion to re-apply mascara and position yourself in your bedroom such that you might be a more flattering Truman. The male gaze is generally defined as the act of depicting women and the world from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the heterosexual male viewer. It often establishes women as a narrative device, and not as autonomous beings. It requires these women to look and behave a certain way for a male audience they aren’t aware of, watching them on screen. This is not only a concept in film, but an active perspective that we simultaneously struggle against and cater to, and it follows us wherever we go, limiting us to a model of femininity we did not choose for ourselves. It can dictate our behavior around men, poses the ‘need’ for dress codes, and determines the immediate appeal of block-buster movies. Identifying the presence of the male gaze can be a straightforward thing. It can be extremely difficult, however, to differentiate an empowered and autonomous way of being as a woman (if being empowered and freethinking is your objective), from an incredibly nuanced divulsion of the male gaze, because the male gaze still succeeds in many kinds of 'empowerment'. What is the real separation between wearing midriff-revealing shirts for the purposes of attracting those who’d like to see our midriffs, and wearing them because we’d like to see our midriffs—because who says we can’t sexualize ourselves? But would we even necessarily enjoy looking at our

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own midriffs as much without the knowledge that our male-counterparts would as well? It might be very possible to celebrate our own sexuality, but that appreciation struggles against these implanted motivators to retain sincerity. This leaves us with the conclusion that appealing to the male gaze reduces our being to the object-level that the women we imitate are presented at, unless we are somehow able to behave in that way purely because we want to intrinsically, which is near impossible. If we decide to eliminate any male-gaze-yielding behavior, we are left to shave our heads and burp loudly. But why should we do that? The same logic that reveals our instinctual compliance with the male gaze also reveals the futility of intentionally opposing it. In acting against something, we are still acting because of it. If we shaved our heads to stick it to the patriarchy, it would still control the length of our hair. So to do away with archetypal feminine norms, or directly oppose them, is to acknowledge their existence as an unchangeable fact. The male gaze then transcends an objective in self-presentation and becomes also a counterpoint if we try to resist it. I will not try to propose an exit to this paradox, but I will note that an exit should be accessible when one is alone, but somehow isn’t. Even without anyone to perform for, we continue performing. We can shake our fists at patriarchal expectations and shallow female representations in our social institutions and the media all we want, but we continue to inflict these metrics for desirability onto ourselves when no one else is there to. We have internalized this gaze, and we allow it to have its way with our most secluded behavior. This isn’t to say that the feeling of being watched or wanting to prepare for that hypothetical scenario is solely credited to the male gaze, or that wanting to appear desirable to the members of our preferred sex is a concept recently invented. It is just to say that it might be worthwhile to acknowledge the unconscious desire to dress up at night as one that stems from expectations established by a portrayal of other women acting on their own that appeals to heterosexual men. If this concerns your security in personal autonomy, it might be helpful to reconcile with the fact that any ‘self-inspired’ behavior is usually a reflection of others’ that you’ve decided to replicate; that it is impossible to escape the knowledge that you’ve acquired watching others and digesting exciting character archetypes. Every action you take has been inspired elsewhere, which is fine. Life and art can imitate each other. Just consider male-gaze-motivated behavior as one of the many others that have left an impression on you, which is probably okay in the grand scheme of things. If this idea doesn’t bother you at all, then continue the performance intentionally. Romanticize your bed-time routine. As long as you acknowledge the socially-constructed expectations within you, your behavioral decisions become more voluntary—and that must be some level of empowerment.

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squid game: a parallel to society hazel kurnadi

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How far would you go for money? How desperate would you need to be to step on others for money? To kill for money? A presumably bizarre thought of valuing your life over another person’s, or rather the thought of bearing the willingness to take a person’s life solely for personal gain lies closer to home than you may think. Netflix’s most popular title, Squid Game, with a rise to fame of 1.65 billion streams in the first four weeks of its release intrigues viewers with its innovative concept that portrays humanity’s greed in the form of capitalism. The nine episode show, consisting of only one season so far, introduces a diverse selection of characters all suffering under the hand of poverty. A mysterious opportunity to win a cash prize presents itself through a series of games they must complete, however, if they fail to complete a round, they are killed. Desperate yet hopeful, players lay down their lives, forfeiting their dignity and humanity all for a chance at a bearable life. Audiences connect with such lovable characters as we follow them through grief and the ordeals of inhumanity—all while being immersed in Korean culture and mesmerized by the well played roles. Though you can question each character’s choices in the cruelty of the game, we must examine and criticize the origins of it. In other words,

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“HOW DID WE GET HERE ?”

Through various means of financial crises like paying off billion dollar debts, funding family members across borders, affording necessary health care, or obtaining the wealth and privilege to access education, players find themself in a helpless situation where submitting their lives for a chance to rid of of it all seems like the only viable option. My initial thoughts throughout the series questioned the moralities of the players, emphasized through the goriness of the cinema. With deeper reflection as the plot unraveled— and after a privilege check—I began to draw similar parallels between the ideologies surrounding it and the real world. Why did the characters willingly partake in a killing spree, going so far as to murder each other in cold blood just for money? Were they all simply just going insane? The notion of a person who feels their only hope of survival is to exploit themself clearly mirrors the negative effects of capitalism on the working class. Capitalism, defined by the economic system where modes of production are privately owned rather than being controlled by the state, supports the exploitation of workers through the oppressive hands of greed.

In the second episode, players are given the opportunity to leave the game in consensus after experiencing the brutal horrors the game entails, but after returning to the misery and unlivable circumstances of their lives outside the game, almost all of them reappear at the game’s reopening through the realization that the challenges hold a better chance for them. Imagine willingly walking into a lion's den where your chance of survival is 1/187, just because this choice seems more promising than the realities you face through the existing system founded on inequality. The operation of the game runs on ‘survival of the fittest’ which essentially breeds an intense competition of life or death between players. As the players come to the realization that they need to eliminate each other—not only during the game, but through any available opportunity—it intensifies the competition between peers, breaking trust along with boundaries. The premise of the game relies on a sole winner, meaning players must step on everyone else to get to the top. The capitalist mindset held by large companies and organizations revolve around profit, breeding high competition between entrepreneurs as they disregard human rights to move up in the world.

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Capitalists use their privileges and advantages as leverage to advance, as shown in the third episode titled, “The Man With the Umbrella.” Player SangWoo holds an advantage over his peers through his prior discovery of what game they will play. He sets the odds in his favour and throws his friends under the bus by choosing the easiest path, and advises them to split up, hoping those who choose harder paths will be eliminated. Sang-Woo adopts the capitalist mindset and arguably does what needs to be done, to push himself forward. By manipulating their power to fit their best interest, capitalists and players alike enable systems of oppression. Squid Game demonstrates systems of oppression that exist under capitalism, like misogyny, ableism, and ageism. In the tug of war episode, players are required to form groups before any further instruction. Players aim to recruit males, out of the misogynistic suggestion that they have a better chance of winning whatever they may face with men, encapsulating our reality that perceives

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men as stronger and smarter than women. In the same episode, player Ali experiences ableism when he is told to hide his amputated fingers, as other players may view him as weak, driving them away from joining his team. The old man experiences ageism as he is dismissed by every group out of the impression he is weak and useless. Player Gi-Hun pities him, and with a pang of desperation, welcomes him into his group as time runs out. Using his life long experience, the old man ironically saves the team with his knowledge on tug of war strategies. This exemplifies how inequality limits diversity, a prime aspect of innovation. With profit at the front of our minds, which inherently enables systems of oppression, we barricade the opportunity to hear different perspectives which would drastically improve our outcomes, as shown in this episode. Capitalism fails to provide for those who lack competitive skills like we see in Squid Game through characters like the old man, and unfortunately as a result, marginalized groups suffer exploitation.

Exploitation, the action of mistreating someone to benefit from their work, is the cornerstone of capitalism. Capitalists make profit through exploitation, analogous to the minds behind the games. A disgusting revelation is made nearing the finale as we learn the central purpose of the game is for entertainment. “VIPs” use their upper class privilege to fund Squid Game and yield entertainment for themselves, making light of the tragedies that occur. This resembles how capitalists may choose to rig the system against their workers to increase their financial gain—for example: by setting long work hours with minimal pay. The players look ahead to the billion dollar cash prize While appreciating the international sensation, which they learn increases through we must also hold a critical eye to the media and its each fatality. This essentially messages. suggests that every human life has a price, reflecting how the devaluation of life is a common capitalist outcome. The system runs on the greed of capitalists and their disregard to human rights, an evident theme woven throughout the storyline of Squid Game. Squid Game highlights the capitalist scheme through beautifully written characters and a thrilling narrative. Shared laughs as well as tears complete the cinematic experience as viewers grow and part with characters we’ve learned to love as friends.

The media introduces differing perspectives and through recognizing the bigger picture, we learn and are given the opportunity to form opinions and come to realizations about ourselves and the world we live in. SOCIAL

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rainbow capitalism: the commodification of pride ALLISON MAK In June of this year, I walked through a mall and was confronted by rainbows everywhere. As a pansexual, genderfluid person, I was pleasantly surprised. I distinctly remember walking past a storefront and seeing a pin, reading “LOVE WINS,” and considering it with mild curiosity before a funny feeling started in my chest. The store it was from, of which I cannot recall the name of now, was not one I recognized as ever having sold Pride merchandise. I decided to come back to look for it in July, even if I knew I wasn’t going to buy it. Just to check if it was still there.

it wasn't. This instance, and some research after it, lead me to the belief that the support from large retailers does not often have any true impact, but is rather just activism for the sake of branding. As public support for LGBTQ+ rights grows, so does the financial motive for companies and retailers to align themselves with that attitude. It is not only important—but necessary—to examine what brands are actually funding when publicly they claim to advocate for LGBTQ+ causes. One may turn to the examples H&M, Adidas, and Gilead; H&M bears rainbow marketing year round, yet operates the majority of their factories in China, a country with anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Adidas sells pride merchandise, yet supported the World Cup which took place in Russia, another country with anti-LGBTQ+ laws. Lastly: Gilead, a pharmaceutical company that produces a drug that reduces the risk of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and often sponsors NYC Pride, yet fails to support gay and bisexual men who are at highest risk of HIV in the United States. Whilst selling a pill which can reduce the risk of HIV from sex by over 90 percent, Gilead refuses to mark down their unnecessarily overpriced pills—a whopping $2,110.99 per month—leading the the communities where it can have the greatest effect to not be able to have proper access to the drug. This is because the people in those communities often cannot afford insurance that covers it. Additionally, gay and bisexual black males in the United States have a higher HIV rate than in any other country in the world. However, they are not the ones taking Gilead's medication. The vast majority of those who take it are white men aged 25 and up. Different versions could change that, but Gilead refuses to release its patent for the drug. Gilead openly promotes LGBTQ+ rights at one of the year's largest LGBTQ+ festivities, but in practice, the company has not sufficiently supported LGBTQ+ people who are most at risk of developing AIDS: a disease that their treatment could help prevent. The contradiction between company branding and their actions is simply unethical. These instances, as well as many others, show that companies are far more interested in capitalizing off the popularity of a cause than actually supporting what it stands for.

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To understand the dilemma regarding the commercialization of pride, we must acknowledge its ties to “slacktivism,” the act of supporting a political or social cause through means which are characterized as requiring little work or commitment. The money that brands make selling rainbow covered t-shirts to consumers fills the need of customers looking for a simple, uncomplicated method to help a complex situation—or perhaps more importantly, feel that they are helping. This rarely leads to any benefit for the movement itself. Consumers feel validated in what is realistically negligible support, and any profits from rainbow merch go towards the companies selling those goods. Businesses that promote LGBTQ+ Pride but pocket the funds that come from pride merch don’t guarantee anything for the LGBTQ+ community other than raising vague "awareness" about the issues that affect that community. It's a form of activism separated from actual action. This consumerist donation structure normalizes slacktivism by providing companies and consumers alike with a low-effort opportunity to promote social and political issues. The main beneficiary of these “awareness” campaigns is not the actual LGBTQ+ community—it’s the company that is now able to benefit from a “woke” image. Often, in response to these claims, many reply with the following: the ability for companies to use the LGBTQ+ community as a specific demographic for their target audience only shows that the presence of LGTBQ+ peoples has become so “mainstream” and “accepted” that it is possible to do so. Therefore, this is overall a good thing. However, although doing so may solidify the LGBTQ+ community as an accepted demographic, companies typically have a strong incentive to promote a given set of ideas about what it means to be part of a specific target audience, and many LGBTQ+ people do not want companies to be engaging in how their identity is shaped. Furthermore, companies often do not have any economic incentive to financially support LGBTQ+ rights, leading any “activism” done to be disingenuous. Intent behind activism is important, even if disingenuous activism has mildly positive impacts. However, we can all admit that adding a rainbow flag to a company's social media doesn’t do much to support LGBTQ+. Companies don’t often take action past the extent of which is legally necessary or socially desirable, and doing this just makes it harder to make further gains on issues that affect LGBTQ+ communities. It shifts the focus from the true struggle communities face into a commercialized fight against discrimination. Companies only do what is already socially acceptable; by doing so they don’t actually have to do any work in progressing a movement while also being able to assert that they are “woke.” The necessary support and allyship needed for LGBTQ+ is not a brand turning their logo rainbow, but rather taking action and aiding those which Pride is all about — the people who are the reason why the movement made any gains at all. Notably, this refers to black trans women who were shunned by society, many of which were pushed into homelessness while facing police brutality, racism, transphobia and even more modes of oppression. Those who did the most advocating were also killed the most, and showing support and taking action on behalf of these people is what we need. Supporting pride isn’t about the typical straight white male buying a rainbow shirt because he has the money to do it and doesn’t risk anything by buying it, true allyship is taking genuine action. It is about giving voice to those who are not given one. Take Nike as an example: celebrating labour day while employing sweatshop labour workers and prohibiting their employees from unionizing. SOCIAL

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It’s ironic; though the day may be great for worker’s rights to become more of a mainstream topic, Nike and similar large corporations should not be the main focus in discussions when it comes to worker’s rights. In the same way, brands and corporations should not be the ones center stage when it comes to LGBTQ+ rights; rather, it should especially be those who face the most oppression due to discrimination. An easy first step is supporting individual artists and grassroot organizations who put much effort into their work and help the community in genuine ways all year long than companies who only do so in June. This all boils down to my main point: the commodification of Pride Month has led to the undermining of the values of pride and the obscuring of certain issues without providing substantial benefits for the LGBTQ+ movement. Overall, I cannot say that the advantages of rainbow capitalism outweigh the disadvantages. Often, the “activism” is so performative and disingenuous that it does not, in any effective way, address the fundamental challenges confronting the LGBTQ+ community. Ultimately, it boils down to amounting to nothing more than just capitalism and profitization off discrimination.

It is clear to me that rainbow capitalism is truly the epitome of empty corporate symbolism. |

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the sound of silence I always hated the act of sitting in silence alone with my thoughts. The thing about your deepest, darkest fears is that no matter how much you seem to drown them out, you can’t help but to get caught in the tide—and I was drowning in my own head. I spent my entire childhood filling my days with ceaseless activity, understanding that I could fabricate my very existence into a perfect concoction mixed just for you, all in an attempt to scrub these endless thoughts out of my mind in pursuit of gaining the soundless sunshine in a spotless mind. As I grew, I found that my efforts were in vain, and even if the flood of clamour that I kept neatly tucked away in my brain was entrusted into a thousand separate cups, filling everyone else’s to the brim with love, I could not escape the glass mind that is mine—and there was nothing else I could do to survive unless I learned how to breathe underwater. As our society was forced inside by a life-threatening pandemic, my precious social connections became sickeningly artificial, amplifying every thought in the absence of the familiar pandemonium of my everyday life. In the company of this deafening silence, I came to realize that my expectations of high school and the very interactions I prided myself on meant nothing if I couldn’t like myself in my rawest form: alone. For as long as I can remember, I had only ever existed for the sake of other people, to entertain, to please, so who was I in the absence of my beloved audience? I questioned my very existence. It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud—because here I am, blood flowing in my veins, warm breath circulating through the part in my lips—but truly, if I only feel the most me when I'm with someone else, am I made of nothing when I'm by myself? While I fell deeper into the unknown dark sea of all this love and attention, my mind was reeling; what if what scares me isn’t the cold water hitting my exposed skin, not the pounding noise in my head, but the fact that I knew I would do anything to feel the high of that adrenaline rush. The cost to maintain this facade was exhausting, yet still worthwhile for the fleeting warmth on my skin, even if it meant my heart would burn in return. The realization that my name would crumble to nothing without a crowd screaming it somehow made the water muddy, it tainted the very joy I got from the approval of others. Even after my precarious attempts to escape and find safety in the laughter of strangers, to find comfort in a crowd, my attempts will always be unsuccessful, until I can find home within myself. It never occurred to me that after a year of isolation, all I would ever want is to go home. Before the world was hit with this life-changing, earth-shattering, pandemic, I truly believed that I never wanted to be home because I associated it with a prison locked in my own thoughts and a sense of ever-present loneliness. But after ten months of isolation and a summer of bustling crowds, heartpounding music, and blinding lights—I have realized that even the push of hundreds of people can become synonymous with the peaceful pull of the waves. It’s not that the constant attendance of that silence would be gone, just the silence would be different. We acclimate to the ambient noise of our surroundings and call it “silence”, but in doing so, we tune out a breathing chorus rich with heartbeat and harmony. Back home, it was the pulsing croak of crickets late at night, the soft whirring of a computer powering down, the rhythmic rustling of bedsheets. In the environment I desperately attempted to escape to, it was the cheerful screams of teenagers, distant chatter, the metallic screech of streetcars.

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Now, no matter where I am, amidst the ruthless storm of the sea whether it’s all in my head or in an blindly reckless night - I try to remind myself to sit and appreciate the silence that isn’t really silent, to bask in the company of the things and beings with whom I share my little pocket of the universe, to breathe, to listen, to remember that in this strange new world, I can never truly be alone. - alyssa zhang

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The Overwhelming Takeover of Unsustainable Fashion LEILA DURANTE

Fast fashion: the low-priced, quality-lacking, frowned-upon way to shop nowadays. Fast fashion has taken over our lives, for the worse. The majority of the brands you probably know and love have turned their heads when it comes to saving our planet from global warming. As the uprising for clothing increases yearly, brands have thus adapted to create an average of twelve to twenty-four collections a year when, in reality, brands only used to produce a maximum of two. In doing this, the number of carbon emissions projected into the atmosphere causes our Earth to overheat and provides damage to the ozone layer. As a result of this, I’ve decided to create an outline of brands that you’ve probably shopped at that, unfortunately, support fast fashion and produce their garments in harmful ways. Some brands may be unexpected, but continue reading to find tips and tricks on how to shop sustainably and do your part in saving our planet one step at a time.

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Although Aritzia uses some sustainable materials, according to “Good On You” an app and website which provides information on whether or not certain brands are sustainable they just aren’t good enough. On the plus side, they use a few eco-friendly materials such as “Tencel” (Tencel lyocell is better for the environment than other similar fabrics, but not as sustainable as top-tier fabrics like organic linen or recycled cotton. In production, Tencel requires less energy and water than conventional cotton but besides that, it isn’t evident that they go out of their way to reduce and/or eliminate chemicals that can be extremely hazardous from their workplace. An upside seen with Aritzia is that they produce collections not as often as certain stores, which may infer that they don’t use as many fast fashion tendencies. ART, FASHION, AND LITERATURE

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ZARA Zara hasn’t proven to be completely eco-friendly, but as time goes on, they’ve progressively initiated more eco-friendly protocols in their clothing production services—such as their “Closing the Loop” program. This program offers customers the chance to drop off old pieces of clothing bought at their store for them to reuse. However, an issue with this program is that it is yet to be proven that they do in fact minimize textile waste when manufacturing their clothing. The biggest downfall seen with Zara would be the fact that they have very obvious fast fashion traits; producing new trendy clothing, monthly, and not sticking to any specific collections or original designs.

URBAN OUTFITTERS Urban Outfitters provides close to nothing when it comes to discussing the sustainability of its brand. They have yet to go out of their way to provide customers with proof of minimizing textiles when producing clothing, and they have done nothing at all to decrease their water consumption when creating clothing. Further, they’re also known for creating an immense amount of clothing in short amounts of time which leads us to believe that they partake in the fast fashion fad. Not to mention, Urban Outfitters hasn’t done anything when it comes to eliminating their release of hazardous chemicals into the environment during clothing production.

H&M H&M has noticeably gone out of their way to create specific clothing collections in which they manufacture their pieces reusing old materials, and although they reuse clothing, the materials utilized are extremely unsustainable. The brand openly moderates under a fast fashion-based module in which they create clothing almost monthly. Although the brand has stated that they plan to reduce greenhouse gas emissions from their production space, they’ve yet to act on their words and there is no proof that they’re on track to do so. 16

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The overwhelming amount of popular brands that create so-called “fashion” in unsustainable ways is only going to increase; the fashion industry is competitive in every aspect so, in order to outshine one another, brands continue to revert to producing garments by using techniques that are increasingly dangerous for our planet. Some ways in which you can avoid purchasing in support of fast fashion would be to shop second-hand, research sustainable fashion brands, and acquire versatile clothing that you know will last. Over the past few years, “thrifting” has become a way in which people can shop for intriguing, vintage clothing, at an affordable price. Thrift stores can be found in practically any city, and have an assortment of pieces that work for everyone. Furthermore, apps like “Good on You” provide users with quick knowledge as to which brands are sustainable, and which aren’t. If you’re hesitant about purchasing clothing from certain stores, doing research beforehand will help your search for sustainable clothing come with ease. Due to the fact that fast fashion is priced extremely low, people tend to throw away clothing more often because they didn’t spend that much money on them. Fast fashion pieces are also known to be made with much worse quality than most brands, which means they’ll get damaged more often, much easier—thus causing more people to throw them away. If you pay closer attention to purchasing clothing that’s versatile and can be kept for years on end, you can avoid sending your old clothes to landfills where they’ll just get burned to shreds - negatively impacting the environment. Clothing dumped in landfills produce insane amounts of carbon emissions into the atmosphere. When you’re done with your clothing, drop it off at donation centers and other places that are in need of more items. Overall, fast fashion is seriously affecting the planet we live on; it has officially gotten out of hand and, if we don’t control it soon enough, our world will potentially go up in flames. Do your part in helping save our planet from disaster, and avoid fast fashion at all costs.

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ELLA’S BOOK OF THE MONTH ELLA IONESCU Recently, I have made attempts to expand my collection of books past an incredibly common genre which frequently appears on the bookshelves of many teenage girls: romantic novels with an 80% chance that you will be left in tears. During my recent trip to the bookstore “Indigo,” I spotted The Dead Husband by Carter Wilson and was immediately intrigued. Thrillers aren’t usually my go-to as I’m scared of everything, however, I decided to look at the synopsis anyways and I have no regrets. The Dead Husband follows a recent widow—Rose Yates—and a detective—Colin Pearson—through their perspectives on the death of Yates’ husband after it had occurred. Yates returns to her hometown with her son, only to be greeted by her unusually cold family. There, she attempts to seek closure with a past event which occured in that house, threatening to expose her sister and father while they actively work against her. With this, Pearson suspects that Yates murdered her husband and nothing is as it seems. He follows her to her hometown and repeatedly interrogates her, leading him to uncover secrets of the past as well as of how her husband truly died—proving that nothing can be hidden forever and putting the Yates family name in jeopardy. I thoroughly enjoyed the way in which this book constantly had me on the edge of my seat. There was never a dull moment, and the novel had me hooked the whole time—thus making its 400 pages fly by as though there were only 100. The plot is interestingly written in a way where you never feel as though you missed a piece of information, allowing you to feel extremely present in the book and garner a deep understanding as to how each character is thinking. Something I didn’t particularly enjoy is the great amount of death in this book—while it really thickened the plot and wasn’t that bad, I just wasn’t expecting it and was shocked at how many times people could act like complete imbeciles. Furthemore,I also wish there was some sort of indication as to how disturbing it could be at some points. Overall, for these reasons and several others, I am rating it a 4.4 / 5. 18

ART, FASHION, AND LITERATURE

MAYA’S FAVOURITE AUTHORS OF THE YEAR MAYA HAJI There is no doubt that the comfort of your all-time favorite book, a fluffy blanket, and a warm cup of hot chocolate will always be the most comforting feeling coming into the New Year. The New Year creates another opportunity for us to sit and enjoy life in its finest perspective: through books. The best authors always know how to draw your attention and get you to bury away into a little cocoon for a bit— sucked into a new, neverending world. Thus, if you're looking for new authors books to help you with your bingereading, read through this article to discover my five favourite authors of 2021 to get you started! This past year, there were a vast array of different authors that have been recognized for their jaw-dropping and acclaimed novels. From new releases to nostalgic pieces, many wistful authors—both new and old— came to make a mark on the media world. The five authors that I believe had the most significant impacts on the reading community in 2021 will send shivers up your spine with an eerie thrill, bring you backwards in time, dispatch you on a huge roller coaster of tears, and spice your life—these authors will never leave you disappointed.

SO WHO ARE THESE AUTHORS? Let's start us off with the one and only Paula Hawkins who has granted us with the most rousing, roaring, hair-raising, and lively thrillers. Hawkins, currently living between London and Edinburgh, was born in Zimbabwe. Before emerging into writing fictional novels, Hawkins worked as a journalist for fifteen years. Her first #1 New York Times best seller The Girl on the Train came out in 2015. This novel follows the life of an unhappy woman, Rachel Watson, who witnesses a horrifying event occur in the backyard of a stranger's home. Unable to trust her memories, she launches her own inquiry of the incident while police suspect Watson as the culprit. Following the success of The Girl on the Train, Hawkins went on to write several more hits—all of which are in the thriller genre. These include the titles of Into the Water in 2017, A Slow Fire Burning in 2021, and her upcoming, in-demand book of 2022 titled Blind Spot. Now, at the age of forty-nine, Watson has released a total of fifty-four novels—an accomplishment all of us book-geeks are ecstatic to grip on to. All thanks to our trend-starter of the year, TikTok, we have re-discovered the amazing author Colleen Hoover who has delivered several #1 New York Times Best Seller books throughout her career. With the different topics she brings to the tables—from romantic heart breakers to astounding mystery thrillers—she never ceases to amaze the book world. At her core, Hoover is a romance novelist and a young adult literature author. Slammed, her debut novel, was released in January 2012.

ART, FASHION, AND LITERATURE

Later, at the end of 2012, she came out with the novel Hopeless which became her first ever book to make it onto the New York Times Best Sellers list. Hoover has continued to write several of my favourite novels—and I’m sure many others share the same affinity for her. In addition to those already mentioned, the novels It Ends With Us and Ugly Love are both extremely heartbreaking love stories that have unforgettably-unique plot twists that will leave you feeling as though you are experiencing every emotion firsthand. Her two mystery novels, Layla and Verity, are amazingly heart-racing and bloodrushing books. The way she writes each emotion and twist in her novels draws you in so you're left hanging by a horrifying thread—always wanting more. Let's bring some claps in for the flamboyant Jane Austen who has made her way back to the top of all our to-read lists with several of her renowned pieces. By the time she died in 1817, Austen was recognised for her top three books: Pride and Prejudice which was released in 1813, Emma which came out in 1815, and Persuasion which was published in 1817. Austen was all the rage in the 18th century, and now her books are doing all the with the re-ignition of their popularity in the 21st century. Austen's books have a flavourful take on selfawareness, realism, and the theatre of etiquette in upper-class societies during the 1800s in England. Jane Austen throwbacks are always a favourite, as you are truly able to feel as though you are cursing out men while wearing a ballgown —all in true Austen fashion.

ART, FASHION, AND LITERATURE

Taylor Jenkins Reid always knows how to serve an era. When you're searching for a sweet cup of nostalgia and a plate filled with antiquity, don't think twice and listen to my advice: read her books. Before we get into the details of the stunning novels of hers, be aware that her everlasting writing will always leave a tingling sensation in the back of your mind with constant reminders of all the beautiful, heartfelt moments that have been created throughout her stories. Throughout her career, Reidhas been nominated for the Goodreads Choice Award for “Best Historical Fiction” as well as many other awards. Her New York Times Best Sellers The 7 Husbands of Evlyn Hugo, Malibu Rising and Daisy Jones and The Six are tear-jerking, romantic, and yesteryear kind of books. If you're ever in the mood to escape from life for a bit and follow along someone else's perspectives, I fully recommend giving Reids books a read. Once you start, you’ll never stop. To end us off we have V.E Schwab, also known as Victoria Schwab, who is recognized for writing the wonderful #1 New York Times Best Sellers The Invisible Life of Addie Larue and the series A Darker Shade of Magic—both of which are filled with fantasy and mystery. Schwab is best known for her novel that came out in 2013, Vicious, which is centered on two college students who generate extraordinary abilities and later become each others enemies. Schwab’s writing provides constant surprise, twists, turns, and energy. She is an extremely stimulating author that inspires me to continue reading and wrting.

Hopefully, I have now convinced you to check out at least one out of my five all-time favourite authors of 2021—and you are reading their novels with a warm cup of hot chocolate while cuddled in a blanket. With this, I am sure that these dear writers will shake you up with mysterious thrills, bring you back for decades, remind you that love isn't as dead as it may seem, and liven up your life. These authors are certainly just a few of the many phenomenale writers in the world—though I chose these specifically based off the marks they have left on me, my friends, my family, and soon you as well.

ART, FASHION, AND LITERATURE

A HISTORY OF THE ROMANTICIZATION OF LOLITA Gloria Yan (TW/ rape & pedophilia)

“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul.” These are the famous opening lines of the novel titled Lolita published in 1953 by Vladimir Nabokov. Upon first glance, they seem like a deeply romantic profession of love, but romance is not a quality that should be associated with the novel. This is a story in which 37-year-old Humbert Humbert grooms and repeatedly assaults his 12-year-old stepdaughter Delores Haze, also known as Lolita. Over the past half-century following its initial release, there have been many attempts to adapt this story through several mediums such as film, music, and theatre. The two most prominent adaptations have been the 1962 film directed by Stanley Kubrick, and the 1997 film directed by Adrian Lyne. Neither of them are successful in conveying the narrative in a responsible manner, failing to express the most important detail from the book—that Humbert is not a reliable narrator and should not be trusted. Leaving out this crucial detail, along with numerous other adaption missteps, is what gave today’s audiences a dangerous perspective on the pedophilic relationship between Humbert and Lolita.

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The original literary work is prefaced by informing the reader that its contents are told from the perspective of Humbert, who is on a trial for his crimes and is trying to manipulate a court of people to be on his side. This incredibly important piece of information affects the reader’s entire perspective of the story, informing them that it has been altered in order to exempt him from facing charges. Humbert Humbert is a middle-aged man who is sexually perverted and desires young, pre-pubescent girls. He develops a strong obsession with 12-year-old Lolita and marries her widowed mother in order to remain in close proximity to her. Following her mother’s death in a car accident, Humbert forces Lolita to accompany him on a cross-country road trip, during which he assaults her on a regular basis. The story ends several years later when she marries another man and dies of childbirth. This is clearly a tragic horror story that is described as a “cautionary tale” in the foreword, and not meant to be interpreted as a love story. The 1962 film’s promotional tagline was “How did they ever make a movie out of Lolita?” The answer is: they didn’t—at least not an effective one. The director of the film, Stanley Kubrick, was widely known at the time for his mistreatment of actresses on his sets, making him a questionable first choice for this story—to say the least. Although he may not necessarily agree with Humbert’s actions, by being a man Kubrick subconsciously possesses the male gaze and is innately able to sympathize with Humbert far more than Lolita. Regardless of how talented of a filmmaker is producing the tale, telling this story through the lens of a camera is ineffective because of its limitation to capturing the events as an objective viewer. This makes everything that is shown seem definitive—as opposed to being questionably truthful. Due to censor codes that were set in place during the 60s, there are no instances of explicit physical acts between the two characters. However, there are strong innuendos, and all of the original themes from the book are implied.

Perhaps the most critical issue throughout the film is that there is no implication that Humbert is lying about the events, and his credibility is never questioned. The point in which Kubrick decided to exclude this preface is a decision that marked the beginning of how the story came to be taken out of context in the years to come. The novel was adapted into film once more in 1996 by Adrian Lyne, who managed to do an even worse job at conveying the sltory in a responsible manner. By this time, and to the film’s demise, censors in Hollywood had been lifted, which resulted in the inclusion of explicit scenes between Humbert and Lolita. While body doubles were used, these scenes were still incredibly gratuitous and unnecessary. Perhaps the most famous shot in the movie is the one in which Humbert first meets Lolita. She is reading a magazine under a sprinkler, which is completely impractical and only framed this way so that her sheer white dress can be completely soaked and transparent while Humbert watches her attentively from a distance. While some may argue that this scene, along with the rest of the movie, is simply an accurate depiction of the male gaze, it should be considered why such a thing would be necessary or beneficial to our society in the first place. Since then, the story of Lolita has been frequently brought up in pop culture, in varying degrees of glamourization. During the debut era of singersongwriter Lana Del Rey, she released a song titled “Lolita,” telling the story from Lolita’s perspective, including lyrics such as “I don't care what they say about me, because I know that it's L-O-V-E.” This perspective depicts her to be the one invoking the relationship, which is far from the original narrative. It has also been mentioned as the character Allison’s favourite book in the TV show Pretty Little Liars—a show that has been criticized for attempting to normalize a student-teacher relationship. POP CULTURE

Since the rise of the social-media app Tumblr, and to the present day, Lolita has become an aesthetic that is mostly unrelated to the more concerning aspects of the story. It is more based on the overall fashion style of the 50s and the femininity associated with the character. When a post with aesthetically pleasing images and a pretty soundtrack is captioned with the hashtag “Lolita,” has the word become so far removed through decades of romanticization to the point where it is no longer associated with its disturbing origin? The literary work that is Lolita still remains largely prevalent in our current culture, and while it deserves appreciation for being well-written and thought-provoking, the relationship within the book should not be interpreted as a healthy nor romantic one. One of the reviews that are printed onto every physical copy of the book is by Vanity Fair, praising Lolita for being “The only convincing love story of our generation.” This gives readers the wrong impression about the story before they even turn the first page. The review, along with seductive cover art designs often featuring a young girl, advertises the book as a romantic, or even erotic love story as opposed to its intended tone. When taking into consideration all the many instances of the story being glamorized by popular culture, it is no surprise that many of its readers get the wrong message out of it.

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Why Do We Secretly Love Nate Jacobs? Maya Akkus

tw: abuse

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Nate Jacobs is arguably one of the most complex characters in Euphoria—a groundbreaking show that follows a group of teenagers as they party hard, abuse drugs, and have sex. Euphoria has been a success since its launch back in 2019, and has currently gained even more attention in the media with their brand new first episode of the second season . Being the perfect portrayal of toxicity and hyper-masculinity at its extreme, Jacobs is both one of its most loved and hated characters.. To cut to the chase, Jacobs doesn't come off as “the bad guy.” He comes from a beloved, wealthy, and well-known family in his town and is the star quarterback on his high school’s football team. However, as the show progresses, viewers come to see that he’s—to put it lightly—an awful person. He is physically and mentally abusive, narcissistic, psychopathic, and manipulative. So why do we see women all over the internet—including myself—falling for and romanticizing his character despite all of his despicable traits? The truth is, we probably all know a “Nate.” I know many, and I’ve even dated men like him—though to an extent less extreme than that of the character. The overall culture of hyper-masculinity—or to say less formally, the “alpha male” mentality—has been overlooked in how damaging it is to young men’s minds as they develop. The conflict viewers feel of finding Jacobs attractive versus his horrible actions are what cause the show to be so successful with their message. Many abusive men in our society get away with their actions due to the privilege of their looks. The purpose of casting Jacob Elordi,—a 6’5, attractive, built man—is to portray why the other characters fall for his manipulation, and how this can happen to the viewers as well. Of course, the topic of domestic violence is very complex and runs much deeper than solely looks. By providing viewers with situations in which even they may find themselves justifying Nate’s actions, Euphoria gives viewers insight into the mentality behind victims of abuse and their struggle of leaving the relationship. We can understand Jacobs’ true strength in manipulation when we see him transform character Maddy Perez from a stable, independent, and confident woman into an emotionally damaged, unstable girl who is entirely dependent on him. Jacobs’ manipulation tactics thrive off of Perez’s father issues, as her dad is a distant alcoholic. Jacobs is hard to process due to his charming looks and seemingly “perfect” upbringing, leaving Perez to question her own sanity and actions. She doubts herself for having issues with such a “perfect” man that everyone wants and loves. The fact is, it’s hard to digest how horrible his character truly is, because we have all met a “Nate Jacobs” in one form or another—and we have gone on with our lives without even realizing it.

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When first watching Euphoria, one may believe that it’s unrealistic or not on point in its portrayal of high school life. Yes, certain aspects of the show may in fact be unrealistic—such as the students showing up to school in full glam and flashy outfits, as well as the oddly large number of people they seem to have at parties that occur practically every single day. However, other parts of the show are quite real—such as Rue’s struggle with her drug addiction and bipolar disorder, Cassie’s constant over-sexualization, and the unhealthy cycle of Nate and Maddy’s relationship. Thus, these portrayals can be supportive in aiding individuals to understand how someone with said struggles may feel on the inside throughout their highs and lows—compared to the constant romanticism we see of these issues in most of our media. Nate Jacobs is a product of his environment. On an imaginary scale of how “alpha” he is, Jacobs would be at the top; he is good looking, popular, strong and shows practically zero emotion—therefore making him ideally everything society expects of a man. Nevertheless, he secretly struggles with his sexuality and suffers through physical abuse from his father—thus causing him to grapple with a serious obsessive disorder, anger issues, and a sex addiction. The show’s depiction of his mental breakdowns do a fantastic job in displaying how society's expectation of men is toxic by presenting us the devil in human form: Nate Jacobs. Is this who we want the men in our society to become, due to our destructive expectations of them? To put it simply, the answer to why we secretly love Nate Jacobs is because we have fallen for his manipulation, even as spectators. Jacobs’ whole purpose as a character is to give viewers insight into why and how other characters in Euphoria find themselves at the hands of his manipulation. Before even realizing it, we find ourselves in Jacobs’ very own trap.

DOES THIS TRULY MAKE ANY OF US VIEWERS ALL THAT DIFFERENT FROM MADDY?

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THE FRENCH DISPATCH SIPORA WEST

Wes Anderson’s love of The New Yorker began in the eleventh grade. He was sitting on a wooden chair in his school library, facing a shelf labelled “periodicals.” Young Anderson noticed that one of the covers had a drawing on it, which was rare for magazines. He picked it off the shelf, saw that the magazine was titled The New Yorker, opened to a random page, and began reading Ved Mehta’s Letter From New Delhi. The rest is history. The French Dispatch is undoubtedly Anderson’s finest film to date. It is an anthology film that includes three distinct stories, as well as one bike tour of a fictional French town called “Ennui-sur-Blasé”. The term “star-studded cast” seems to have been invented for The French Dispatch. The film features Adrien Brody, Timothée Chalamet, Benicio del Toro, Frances McDormand, Elisabeth Moss, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Saoirse Ronan, Jason Schwartzman, Léa Seydoux, Tilda Swinton, and Owen Wilson, among others. Anderson had the opportunity to showcase all of his stylistic fondness, with the inclusion of a comic-book-style animated sequence, plenty of mouth-watering food photography, and experimentation with black and white shots as well as frames full of vibrant colour. Anderson additionally seizes the opportunity to subtly pay tribute to his favourite New Yorker journalists: James Baldwin, Rosamund Burnier, A.J. Liebling, Joseph Mitchell, and James Thurber, among others.

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“The French Dispatch of Liberty, Kansas Evening Sun” is the full name of the film’s fictional magazine. The magazine’s editor, Arthur Howitzer Jr. (who New Yorker enthusiasts will note is reminiscent of editor Harold Ross), oversees a roster of individualistic writers. Howitzer allows his writers to pursue the stories that interest them, which leads to a quirky lineup of passion-filled articles. This particular issue of The French Dispatch happens to be the publication’s last. The first story is told by art historian and critic J.K.L Berenson (Tilda Swinton). She describes the life and work of genius artist Moses Rosenthaler (Benicio Del Toro), who is serving life in prison for homicide. Rosenthaler finds his muse in prison guard Simone (Léa Seydoux), and an erotic relationship forms between the two, although Simone remains Moses’s commander. Art dealer Julian Cadazio (Adrian Brody) is also serving time, in his case for tax fraud. He discovers Rosenthaler’s work and takes it upon himself to expose the world to Moses Rosenthal. Rosenthal quickly becomes a global sensation, and pressure mounts for him to churn out further masterpieces. The second story is written by Lucina Krementz (Frances McDormand) and is evidently based on Mavis Gallant’s coverage of the Paris student protests in May 1968. Although the time in which this story takes place is undetermined, it still follows a student uprising in the film’s fictional Ennui rather than the real world Paris. Timothée Chalamet plays a brooding young revolutionary named Zaffrielli, whose three main occupations at the moment are writing the student rebels’ manifesto, winning a chess game against the Ennui police commissioner, and an affair that sparks between Zaffrielli and Lucinda Krementz, the journalist. The third and final story is told by Roebuck Wright (Jeffrey Wright), a writer who emulates James Baldwin but pursues stories reminiscent of A.J. Liebling. The story was meant to follow master police chef Lieutenant Nescaffer as he cooks for a dinner party at the Commissaire’s house. However, things swiftly take a turn for the worse, when a gang kidnaps the Commisaire’s son, Gigi, and holds him for ransom. The rest of the segment follows the mad dash to return Gigi to safety, and it ends up being up to Lt. Nescaffer to save him. Wright is also a Black gay man, and his story dips into commentary on the politics and police treatment surrounding those identities. Wes Anderson pulls out all his wonted stops for this spectacle. As with his previous work, Anderson hopes to keep the audience slightly removed from the story at all times so that we can appreciate the craft of filmmaking itself. For example, during the second story, we literally see a workman sliding a façade off-screen to reveal the scene behind it. Meticulous care is placed on the aesthetics of every costume, hairstyle, set-piece, and lighting choice. The multiple vignettes throughout the film manage to make the experience more entertaining, rather than confusing. One of these vignettes is a stage play that dramatizes the military service of one of Zafrielli’s fellow student protestors. This digression from the plot of the story is not necessary, but the film wouldn’t have been as triumphant without it. By the time the animated sequence of the police car chase in the third story appeared on screen, I was grinning ear to ear in delight. Wes Anderson loves to make movies. His adoration for the art of filmmaking is palpable while watching The French Dispatch. Audience members feel the fun that was had in creating every single obsessively crafted shot. POP CULTURE

Wes Anderson is one of those rare filmmakers who will receive funding no matter what story he writes or what picture he wants to shoot. These days, when a filmmaker wants to create a film that is not the status quo, they will face countless obstacles in the process to get their story greenlit—if they even manage to make it that far. Anderson is lucky enough to have established himself as a movie goer’s darling during the 90s indie wave, with his films Bottle Rocket and Rushmore. His success continued with gems like Fantastic Mr Fox and The Royal Tenenbaums. Today, Wes Anderson is one of the only filmmakers with full creative control over the stories he wants to tell. This is a freedom that Anderson clearly values. A major theme in The French Dispatch is freedom in writing and work, as the journalists that write for the magazine are granted full agency over the stories they want to pursue. The journalists also break the status quo of journalism, including a fundamental rule of the profession: Do not become the story. Each writer becomes entangled with their subjects. Keen audience members will note that Anderson falls into the trap of showcasing the female journalists’ personal involvement with their respective stories by having them sleep with their subjects, which may have been compelling for story number two, but story number one certainly could have done without this additional tidbit. Although Anderson’s emphasis is on technical filmmaking, The French Dispatch still manages to find an emotional core. None of the characters’ lives is deeply explored, but we see enough to understand that while the characters’ lives are idiosyncratic, they each hold a profound sense of loneliness. Audience members will find a way to care for these quirky, lonely souls. When all is said and done, The French Dispatch is simply a love letter to journalism, told in the medium that Wes Anderson is infatuated with. Anderson cares about magazines, he cares about writers, and he cares about making pure and genuine films. The director disregards current box office trends in order to create stories that are close to his heart. Hollywood needs to fund more artists like Anderson—artists who are willing to make films for the joy of storytelling, rather than for financial gain. That way, the audience members who aren’t fond of Wes Anderson’s signature style will be able to find directors whose work speaks to them. And in a time laden with overfunded superhero movies, rom coms starring Noah Centineo, epics with expensive casts and poor CGI, and movie musicals that make such an effort to cater to queer people that they become homophobic; heaven knows that we need more authentic films on our screens.

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LEILA’S SONG OF THE MONTH: FEBRUARY 2022

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As my passion for anything music-related increases, starting a “Song of the Month” feature for each issue excites me as I can’t wait to share my favourite songs which relate to specific times of the year. So help me in celebrating the debut of this new column by listening to each song, fully, and get excited for more astonishing pieces to come. The holiday season has long to an end, the second semester of school has begun, and the weather is never promising. Thus, the track “Thunder” by Lana Del Rey, featured on her newest album Blue Banisters, is the perfect song for February. The track itself is mellow and monotone; after a month full of holidays and celebrations, it’s probably best to start off a new one with calmer energy than the last. Although the song isn’t intensely upbeat, the lyrics are about someone whose personality poses “Thunder.” The song itself is a walking hypocrite; the lyrics are a positive way to describe someone’s wondrous persona, while the beat is produced in more of a relaxing tone for listeners to enjoy when needing to unwind. Sipping coffee on a cold February morning, or just giving liberty to yourself, would be seen as the perfect time for listening to “Thunder,” as it boosts your mood and creates an overall positive vibe in itself. The beauty of this track is that each listener has the opportunity to relate to it differently. Rey added a mysterious touch by keeping the presence of the person this song was written about unnamed which lets listeners cultivate a deeper connection towards it. This calm, content song will help get you through the second month of 2022 and most definitely guarantees a positive year ahead. Happy listening! 32

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WHITE OVER THE WALLS

AMI DELABBIO

At the age of eleven, I was an insecure, chubby, acne-covered pre-teen. I spent my nights praying for time to go by faster, until I was a pretty, thin, clear-faced teenager. Now that I am of teenage age, I can't help but think back to how stupid I was to wish for change. Just recently, I was in a position where I was asked to say goodbye to my childhood bedroom. I had already said my farewells to living there about a month prior when I had been moving out to live with my mother, but this time around I was asked to paint over my beloved walls and move my furniture onto a truck where It’d be taken to the closest second-hand store. To some, painting the walls may seem minuscule—but to me, this was extremely sentimental. Since I was young, my parents allowed me to do whatever I pleased with my room. So, from the age of ten and onwards, I wrote every thought and scribbled every messy masterpiece that popped into my head onto those four walls. What I had painted over held every crush I had, every friend I was upset with, and happy memories I felt the need to write. I moved almost every piece of furniture I cried or laughed on into an empty truck, where it’d be waiting to be taken away. A chair where I had my first kiss, and a desk where I cried over my grades. A bed where I had spent most of my days at my lowest, and a bookcase that held every book I got lost in. All of it just to be given to someone else. I consider change to be the scariest thing to mankind—and I believe that anyone who denies this doesn't realize the depth of what they’re saying. The funny thing about change is that you don’t realize how much you fear it until you’re asked to leave something you didn’t know you loved—whether it's a person or a place. The fear of it can creep over us into our everyday life, making us ask if the loved ones we have today will be there with us tomorrow. While living with my dad, I spent so much time hoping to leave. To get out of a depressing neighbourhood and town, and to live closer to the people I loved. I blamed my sadness on this house I lived in and told myself I’ll finally be happy once I get out. But after my visit last week, I was reminded of how dumb it was to think this. I walked through the rooms of this dark, horribly decorated semidetached bungalow and realized that I felt more at home than I did at my mother’s, and knew that I would probably never feel that same comfort someplace else. Things I once hated about the house suddenly became so nostalgic and comforting. It took for me to leave it to see its true beauty and how much it meant to me. As much as change hurts, there's nothing we can do about it. We're forced to live through change no matter if we want to or not. Oftentimes, one could even be relieved when they’re hit with change. Yet our minds tend to forever grab onto the best parts about something we’ve left and jump at every chance it gets to remind us of how good things once were. LIFESTYLE AND WELLNESS

We spend the majority of our lives focused on the future. How it will be, what will be different, and how you can’t wait to leave the life you currently live onto a new and improved version of it. Yet unbelievably, there will be a point where we’ll feel nostalgic about today. In our present time, we will have something that future us will need or miss—but there will be no way to obtain it once again. We become selfish and believe that it is not enough and hope for more in the future. Once we are delivered with more, we'll miss the simplicity that we had in the past. In the end, it’s never enough. It’s scary to watch change before your eyes. One by one the people you love will leave, and you will see the person you saw in the mirror this morning become a different person in that same mirror in a couple of months. Nonetheless, with change comes good. For every person that leaves, a new one arrives. One that may love you differently, but just as much—maybe even more. New opportunities can arise that will help you become the best version of yourself that is more smart, creative, and open than the person you were five years ago. Being nostalgic is good. It’s good to look back at your younger self and reflect upon the life you once had. But it’s important to remember to see how you’ve grown and how your life is just as good, or even better than it was all those years ago. I may miss my dad’s house, but I know that deep down under the comfort and nostalgia lies the reasons why I left. I may let myself reminisce, but I know in the end that I can never live there again, for my well-being. To my walls I once loved I say a blissful goodbye. A goodbye in which I thank them for the support they gave me and the creativity they allowed me to explore. Something I hope my news walls will make me feel. With this new chapter in my life, I can once again write every crush I may have, emotion I may feel, or happy memory I’ll feel the need to remember.

"Soon enough, I’ll have to say goodbye

again. Once more, feeling nostalgic

about what was once my today."

LIFESTYLE AND WELLNESS

How to Become a Pro at New Years Resolutions ANASTASIA DIMAS

LIFESTYLE AND WELLNESS

Have you ever walked into your gym on January 1st thinking “this will be my year?” Being an annual tradition to many that may exist just to create hope, an exciting plan, or expectations that may never get fulfilled, New Year's resolutions are back again. Growing up, I was taught to set a long list of unexpected resolutions as soon as the New Year rolled in. I vividly remember sitting in a coffee shop on New Year's morning with my mom, writing our resolutions with a pen and paper, and then sharing them shortly after. Despite the fact that most of them never even got fulfilled, the tradition still stuck with me until today. I've always believed that part of the reason they exist is the longing for a new beginning, the perfect opportunity to become the person you've always wanted to become. Over the years, some have found their way to stick, and some have not. Nevertheless, the key is to focus on the ones that mean the most to you—and no, this doesn't include getting on the treadmill as soon as January rolls around. In this article, I will share several worthwhile resolutions that may spark insight into what you want your list to look like.

#1 - Be present As stated by poet Rupi Kaur,“I will never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her.” I often notice people spend so much time looking for something new that we forget what is right in front of us. We later realize how what we once had was so good, only when it’s no longer there. The New Year is the perfect chance to learn the ability to pause and live where you are right now, and this resolution involves more mental work than anything else.

#2 - Focus more on your goals Everything you do can have an enhanced result if you connect it to your goals. A lot of what we do is driven by our aspirations—whether we acknowledge them or not. Writing them down and knowing what you are working towards will help remind you of what you want to achieve and may push you to put in a better effort.

#3 - Lose an old habit We all have that one habit we’ve been wanting to get rid of recently. Whether it’s your nails you’ve been picking or your eight hours of daily screen time, this may be the best excuse to stop.

#4 - Find a hobby Although it may take some time and experimentation, finding a hobby you can go to for creativity, productivity, or simply just a beautiful escape can help you throughout the year in many facets. It can even be as simple as painting or going on long walks in the forest while listening to your favourite artist. This resolution will be useful throughout the year as you'll be able to come back to it whenever you find yourself wandering.

#5 - Make a new friend Stay connected. A large fraction of different aspects of our daily lives, such as school events and work meetings, have taken place virtually through the pandemic. As a result, it may be difficult to check in on your friends and family, which therefore leads to life becoming quite isolated. Many could be suffering in silence, so taking a minute to send a quick message to someone and asking them how they are doing could bring them a sense of hope and appreciation. 36

LIFESTYLE AND WELLNESS

#6 - Live healthier Though it is a resolution that most people tend to put off each year, living healthier is a choice that will truly change your life—both physically and mentally. This is one of my favourite resolutions, as it has the ability to transform your life in the simplest of ways. Starting to live a healthier lifestyle can finish this.

#7 - Be patient

In modern times, we tend to find ourselves stuck in a constant cycle of rushing our lives through the ways in which we live them. Thus, learning that things will simply come at their own time is a skill to master. Therefore, you must find comfort in waiting for things to come naturally.

#8 - Stop caring what people think We often take others' opinions and beliefs too seriously and hold on to them internally. Due to what others may think or say, you could find yourself worrying too much about your appearance or other characteristics—whether they’re physical, mental, or social ones. Letting go of those beliefs can lead you to the happier year you need!

LIFESTYLE AND WELLNESS

SOURCES

A History of the Romantisization of Lolita: https://www.openculture.com/2011/08/vladimir_nabokov_lionel_trilling_on_lolita.html https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056193/ https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/lolita/summary/ https://longreads.com/2018/11/16/the-lasting-effects-of-the-lolita-complex/ https://prettylittleliars.fandom.com/wiki/Book_Allusions https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/lanadelrey/lolyta.html Rainbow Capitalism: https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/group/poverty.html https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/6/15/17468282/world-cup-fifa-russia-2018-lgbt-rights https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/prep.html. https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/05/act-up-is-challenging-gilead-to-make-truvada-more-accessible.html. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/06/magazine/americas-hidden-hiv-epidemic.html. The Overwhelming Takeover of Fast Fashion: https://goodonyou.eco/how-ethical-is-aritzia/ https://goodonyou.eco/how-ethical-is-zara/ https://sustainabilitymag.com/esg/what-makes-zaras-join-life-branding-initiative-sustainable https://goodonyou.eco/how-ethical-is-urban-outfitters/ https://goodonyou.eco/how-ethical-is-hm/

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WRITERS FEATURED Maya Akkus Sarah Carnat Ami Delabbio Anastasia Dimas Leila Durante Maya Haji Ella Ionescu Hazel Kurniadi Allison Mak Sipora West Gloria Yan Alyssa Zhang THANK YOU...

FOR ALL THE GIRLS MAGAZINE

issue 5

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