FORBES LIVING FALL
2020
Friends & Happiness
Cherishing positive friendships supports good mental health
by Daphne Taylor Street
Friendship renders prosperity more brilliant, while it lightens adversity by sharing it, and making its burden common. -Cicero
I
magine the perfect friendship - maybe you already have an amazing best friend or partner who is your "bestie", and you know that through thick and thin they have your back, they care about how you feel, they celebrate your joy, empathize with your pain and show up for you in good times, bad and everything between. How do you show up as being that amazing friend to them?
When your friend asks you, "how can I help," and your standard reply is: "Oh, no, I'm fine," this doesn't allow your friend to feel that they are cherished. Sometimes they'll withdraw, and other times the person who pulled away will still feel resentful that their friend didn't help them, even though they pushed them away, But, when you have a great friend, a friend that you share mutual feelings of cherishment, goodwill and a healthy bit of showing up for one another under all circumstances, this is when friendship can be amazingly beneficial - "lightening adversity by sharing it, and making its burden common." Spending time with your friend can reduce stress, reduce feelings of depression and anxiety, give you courage to power-through when you feel stuck and help all manner of pain become a little more manageable.
The best friendships really are centered on mutual goodwill and cherishing one another - cherishing you for who you are, not expecting you to change or to fit within some description that's currently convenient or preferred. We also depend on our best friends to be present for us - understanding that at times it's just not possible to physically be present their compassion, love and effort are unmistakable.
The very best way to find a friend like this, if you don't already have one, is to be one. Take a chance on a few people, and take the time to build bonds with them, to care about them, to be there for them, and to forgive them when they might be having a tough time forgiving themselves. Together, the best of friends can do anything!
We look to our best friends to listen to us without judgment, to put aside feelings of jealousy when we succeed, and we also need reciprocity. Friendship really doesn't work very well or last very long if you're only willing to give and never receive. It's a mutual balance. PAGE
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