Mode Magazine Fall/Winter 2020

#HAIRGOALS

By Emily Abate • Photography by Gino Catalano • Layout by Zhane Coleman Over the past 6 months I was unknowingly taking a medication that was destroying my hair. One day I woke up to find clumps of hair all over my pillow and hair ties. This medication that was given to me was essentially making my hair fall out in chunks. Little by little, I was noticing everyday my hair breaking off in full strands even if I just gently ran my fingers through my hair. My once full, curly, medium-length hair has now turned flat and stringy.

My scalp was fully visible, showing skin in the back of my head and on the sides of my temple. It wasn’t until my insecurities and concerns grew so high that I would cry so much fearing that I would wake up almost bald!

In our social media driven society, women can feel like they are only attractive when they have long, volume-filled hair. After hours of crying and anxiety- driven Internet searching, I took a step back and realized that hair is just hair and will always grow back. However, I needed to get out of my mind all of the beauty standards and social norms that exist today within the toxic side of self comparison on social media. While I felt alone in knowing that my hair was falling out, I took comfort thinking that other people were also dealing with issues similar to mine but just didn’t post on social media; so I decided to take a break from scrolling through Instagram wishing my hair looked as good as others.

After my pity party, a good amount of online research, and consultation with my doctor, I decided to make a change with not only my medication but also my everyday hair routine.

I started 2 multi-vitamin scalp growth oils daily and limited my shampooing to 2 times a week.

For the growth oils, I used the company The Mane Choice and Ouidad, a brand specifically geared towards curly hair (which I highly recommend!). It has now been 4 months since I started this new routine, and my hair looks and feels almost normal again. This process has shown me to embrace my natural curls, forget the unrealistic beauty standards that can come from social media, and be more cognizant of the types of products I use on my hair. I feel happy and confident again!

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