SECRET LIFE: NOT SO SECRET

By KREENA VORA Chief Move Critic

The Secret Life of College Journalists follows 5 students at Florham University’s satellite campus as they navigate personal problems and the struggles of running their school newspaper, The Perceiver. The movie highlights 5 main characters and takes a look into their lives both inside and outside of the paper as well as the friendships and drama that comes with seeing the same people every. single. day.

The movie tries to be relatable, as if this is a shared experience among all who attend college, but the director seems a little stuck reliving his own days in college and less focused on telling a story.

The opening scene showed a tiny room housed with about ten computers reflecting The Perceiver’s newsroom. The space is packed, noisy, and chaotic, full of old papers, a printer that does more work not working, random knick-knacks, and obscure drawings on the whiteboards. People walk in and out of the room, with some sitting on the floor and others adding to the whiteboard. Very little work seems to be getting done, but everyone is having a great time.

As the movie continues, it turns out that all of these characters live with other people that are a part of The Perceiver. We see their friendships and the drama that comes with seeing the same people in multiple situations. While this is all very cute and nostalgic, no central plot has emerged yet.

The movie continues in this manner, going back and forth between the newsroom and their apartments. Time passes, but nothing really changes. None of our characters have a true motive, and with that comes no progress. The movie is somewhat like Seinfeld in its stagnancy.

In fact, it seems like what the director really wanted to create was a TV show. In a TV show, characters can be more fleshed out, including supporting characters. Currently, splitting just a couple of hours between even our 5 main characters leaves a lot to be desired. Whereas if this movie was a miniseries, it would provide enough time for each character to be given a deeper personality and motivations.

‘RAMSPA’ PROMPTS TUITION INCREASE

The ‘bath room’

By SHELBY WILLIAMS Lover of Bloomin’ Onions

GRAPHIC BY KREENA VORA/THE OBSERVER

himself was a part of his college newspaper and he took inspiration from his own peers for characters.

‘Working on The Perceiver was the best part of my college experience, and this movie is a tribute to that in some way’, he said.

A 6% tuition and room-andboard increase for the 2023-24 academic year was announced on March 30 in emails sent to the Fordham community from University President Tania Tetlow, J.D. This announcement is attributed to new renovations that are set to take place in the summer to install the RamSpa, a bathing room and extension of McMahon’s RamFit Center that will replace the fourteenth floor’s soft lounge that ate my dollar while I was trying to buy a Coke today.

as well as a Bluetooth surround sound system. Upon request, the presidential dog, Archie, will reenact the Lady and the Tramp spaghetti scene with you for optimum happiness increase.

Many students may opt out of their personal music for the wailing sounds of RamSpa’s attendant Moaning Myrtle. She will be available to monitor water temperature, restock towels, and give massages using the sound waves produced by the sounds of her misery. Visitors are encouraged to avoid angering Myrtle for the sake of RamSpa’s plumbing systems.

The highlight of the movie was the one time we see the physical paper being put together. It’s a fast-paced scene full of dialogue that would not be out of place in an episode of Gilmore Girls. It’s the only time we see the operations of a newspaper, and our characters actually act like budding journalists. A lot of the rest of the movie is filled with moments and conversations in their personal lives, so this scene was a refreshing break.

In an interview, the director, Gnome Snow, noted that he

Snow has also mentioned the possibility of there being sequels to The Secret Life of College Journalists which would follow different characters in different situations. He has mentioned wanting a sequel that is written as a mockumentary of the workings of a college newspaper, which may actually help the series. Hopefully these sequels come with more focus on a plot, or the form is changed to a miniseries and not a movie.

In my expert critique, the movie is not all bad. Despite the lack of plot, individual scenes are funny and emotional, and the characters are very human. The pacing of the movie and its plot may also be better served as a miniseries rather than a movie.

Many Fordham students have complained about the lack of opportunity to take a nice, relaxing bubble bath after a stressful day. This change comes from a desire to advance university mental health efforts as well as increase university resident satisfaction. This definitely gets an A-plus from myself and my closest colleagues.

‘I am ecstatic about this new installation’, Funk E. Aroma, FCLC (Fordham College at Lincoln Center) ‘24, shared. ‘As an aspiring Twitch streamer, I don’t have much incentive to stop grinding and take a shower. Maybe this will change that’.

The bathing room will include noncandle mood lighting, assorted bubble bath solution, Crayola bath markers, and a Ramses-themed rubber ducky. There will also be a cinema-sized television fixed with Tetlow’s personal streaming accounts,